Funniest player names

hanoiball · 12-07-2004, 11:18 PM

OOTP does a great job in mixing up the player names, IMO, but also in producing some real comical ones. Here's a few of the funniest I've had, going by memory. I'm sure there's even better out there so feel free to add.

Herbert Pitcher. Yes, he was a reliever.
Stacy Hitz. Actually had a contact rating in the 60s-70s.
Patricia Gonzalez. I could be wrong but isn't Patricia a girl's name even in Spanish? Like Patricio would be the male version?
Harold Hard. Pitcher with 95-99mph velocity. What I liked was how he'd show up in the pitching leaderboards as "H. Hard," which always made me think of "Hit Hard."

And, for my all-time favourite:

Ahmad Goo.

Dagrims · 12-08-2004, 12:28 AM

This thread has a decent selection of good names scattered amongst the attempts at humor (strangely enough, none from me). Someone mentions a Patricia in that thread as well.

Florida Tiger · 12-08-2004, 12:38 AM

I had a guy named Patricia Dick and another guy named Brain McClaren. I also had a player named Asa Bobb, who I turned into a minor league manager after he retired.

benchwarmer · 12-08-2004, 07:25 AM

My best player in my fictional solo league is named Myke Tyke.

Florida Tiger · 12-08-2004, 07:55 AM

I forgot about the immortal Lloyd Boyd.

Raidergoo · 12-08-2004, 08:20 AM

I have a fellow in AA ball named John Gault.

Who is John Gault?

He's a 3 blue star MR.

ctorg · 12-08-2004, 09:48 AM

Oh, I had a great name come up last week: Ivan Tufok. If you're baffled, stress the last syllable in each and yell it out loud, then watch people's reactions.

Cooker · 12-08-2004, 10:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raidergoo

I have a fellow in AA ball named John Gault.

Who is John Gault?

He's a 3 blue star MR.

This may be the funniest one of all. But unless you've read Ayn Rand's great novel "Atlas Shrugged," you won't get it. I'm sure John Gault was married to Dagney Taggert ....

rypry · 12-08-2004, 07:07 PM

I tried to sign a free agent pitcher named Allen Cock, of course I nicknamed him A Cock.

Kane182 · 12-08-2004, 07:24 PM

I had a guy in a fictional league a long time ago and I forget what his first name was, but his nick was "Sticky" and his last name was Kuntz.

JDOldSchool · 12-08-2004, 09:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ctorg

Oh, I had a great name come up last week: Ivan Tufok. If you're baffled, stress the last syllable in each and yell it out loud, then watch people's reactions.

LOL, that's phenomenal.

Thomas Thomas recently retired in my league - he never made the show.

And this isn't funny, but I seem to have an extraordinarily high number of guys named Leonard in my league.

Edit: Just found another name that struck my interest: Benjamin Rodriguez. I'm thinking of nicknaming him The Jet (even though he's 24 and 1 blue star only).

JDDub · 12-08-2004, 09:39 PM

My league has a weak relief pitcher named Joe Welcome.

Slugger: I'd like a fastball down the middle please. (Hits home run) Thanks!
Joe: Joe Welcome!

chambertrain · 12-09-2004, 12:52 AM

Red Ball

hanoiball · 12-09-2004, 01:45 AM

I forgot about the catcher named Passmore. Forget his first name.

Might make a good battery mate for Joe Welcome.

ctorg · 12-09-2004, 09:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JDOldSchool

LOL, that's phenomenal.

Thomas Thomas recently retired in my league - he never made the show.

And this isn't funny, but I seem to have an extraordinarily high number of guys named Leonard in my league.

Edit: Just found another name that struck my interest: Benjamin Rodriguez. I'm thinking of nicknaming him The Jet (even though he's 24 and 1 blue star only).

That reminds me of something I saw the other day that stunned me. I had a rookie come into the league with the name Broderick Broderick. Now, something like Thomas Thomas or John John I've seen before. Those are relatively common names. But what are the chances of getting a Broderick Broderick? I didn't even know it was a first name!

Whitey · 12-09-2004, 09:30 AM

I currently have a SS in my solo league named Mark Mike.

Also have a future Hall of Famer names Dennis Xu. I guess that is pronounced "zoo".

ctorg · 12-09-2004, 09:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Whitey

I currently have a SS in my solo league named Mark Mike.

Also have a future Hall of Famer names Dennis Xu. I guess that is pronounced "zoo".

Ha, there was a guy who lived down the hall from me in college named Dennis Xu. Yes, it's pronounced zoo. Chinese, I believe.

JDOldSchool · 12-09-2004, 09:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Whitey

I currently have a SS in my solo league named Mark Mike.

Also have a future Hall of Famer names Dennis Xu. I guess that is pronounced "zoo".

I'm sure it is pronounced "zoo," but I read that as "Ex-oo" for some reason.

One thing that kinda bothers me is that no players that have ever played major league baseball have had a last name begin with X, yet I seem to have one or two in my solo leagues all the time (I actually have none right now, but that's due to me editing names of some incoming draftees).

andjbock · 12-09-2004, 09:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JDOldSchool

I'm sure it is pronounced "zoo," but I read that as "Ex-oo" for some reason.

One thing that kinda bothers me is that no players that have ever played major league baseball have had a last name begin with X, yet I seem to have one or two in my solo leagues all the time (I actually have none right now, but that's due to me editing names of some incoming draftees).

X's are usually pronounced as "Ch" in Chinese. I think it would sound like Choo.

This first came up when my friends and I needed to pronounce Xiayou from Tekken 3.

JDOldSchool · 12-09-2004, 09:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by andjbock

X's are usually pronounced as "Ch" in Chinese. I think it would sound like Choo.

With a first name like Dennis, I had no idea he was Chinese.

Small tangent - I'm not sure which Asian nationality it is, but the name Nguyen has always baffled me. I can't figure out why that's pronounced "Win" (it is win, right?).

12-07-2004, 11:18 PM	#1
hanoiball Minors (Single A) Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 51	Funniest player names OOTP does a great job in mixing up the player names, IMO, but also in producing some real comical ones. Here's a few of the funniest I've had, going by memory. I'm sure there's even better out there so feel free to add. Herbert Pitcher. Yes, he was a reliever. Stacy Hitz. Actually had a contact rating in the 60s-70s. Patricia Gonzalez. I could be wrong but isn't Patricia a girl's name even in Spanish? Like Patricio would be the male version? Harold Hard. Pitcher with 95-99mph velocity. What I liked was how he'd show up in the pitching leaderboards as "H. Hard," which always made me think of "Hit Hard." And, for my all-time favourite: Ahmad Goo.

12-08-2004, 12:28 AM	#2
Dagrims Hall Of Famer Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Orlando, FL Posts: 3,827	This thread has a decent selection of good names scattered amongst the attempts at humor (strangely enough, none from me). Someone mentions a Patricia in that thread as well. __________________ "Read books, get brain."

12-08-2004, 09:48 AM	#7
ctorg Global Moderator Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Queens, NY Posts: 9,848	Oh, I had a great name come up last week: Ivan Tufok. If you're baffled, stress the last syllable in each and yell it out loud, then watch people's reactions. __________________ My music "When the trees blow back and forth, that's what makes the wind." - Steven Wright Fjord emena pancreas thorax fornicate marmalade morpheme proteolysis smaxa cabana offal srue vitriol grope hallelujah lentils

12-09-2004, 09:30 AM	#16
Whitey Major Leagues Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Kentucky Posts: 346	I currently have a SS in my solo league named Mark Mike. Also have a future Hall of Famer names Dennis Xu. I guess that is pronounced "zoo". __________________ "Thanks for your time this time, until next time, so long." -The Late Great Jack Buck

12-08-2004, 12:38 AM	#3
Florida Tiger Minors (Triple A) Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: St. Louis (Formerly Orlando) Posts: 221	I had a guy named Patricia Dick and another guy named Brain McClaren. I also had a player named Asa Bobb, who I turned into a minor league manager after he retired.

12-08-2004, 07:25 AM	#4
benchwarmer Banned Join Date: May 2004 Location: Red Sox Nation Posts: 1,461	My best player in my fictional solo league is named Myke Tyke.

12-08-2004, 07:55 AM	#5
Florida Tiger Minors (Triple A) Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: St. Louis (Formerly Orlando) Posts: 221	I forgot about the immortal Lloyd Boyd.

12-08-2004, 08:20 AM	#6
Raidergoo Hall Of Famer Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 9,005	I have a fellow in AA ball named John Gault. Who is John Gault? He's a 3 blue star MR.

12-08-2004, 07:07 PM	#9
rypry Bat Boy Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 5	I tried to sign a free agent pitcher named Allen Cock, of course I nicknamed him A Cock.

12-08-2004, 07:24 PM	#10
Kane182 Minors (Triple A) Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Quincy, MA Posts: 230	I had a guy in a fictional league a long time ago and I forget what his first name was, but his nick was "Sticky" and his last name was Kuntz.

12-08-2004, 09:39 PM	#12
JDDub Bat Boy Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 3	My league has a weak relief pitcher named Joe Welcome. Slugger: I'd like a fastball down the middle please. (Hits home run) Thanks! Joe: Joe Welcome!

12-09-2004, 12:52 AM	#13
chambertrain Major Leagues Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Oswego, New York Posts: 316	Red Ball

12-09-2004, 01:45 AM	#14
hanoiball Minors (Single A) Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 51	I forgot about the catcher named Passmore. Forget his first name. Might make a good battery mate for Joe Welcome.