Phyllis Gretzky, mother of Wayne Gretzky, dies

[reds1]

Originally Posted by sebastian0622

If Gretzky himself posted the thread, I wouldn't tell him I didn't care. I very much doubt he's reading this.

As for your golden rule-esque comment, I don't think it's a bad thing to say I don't care . If anything, it just shows that I don't value the life of an athlete's parent any more than the lives of others. I don't see why we should care about Gretzky's senior-citizen mom dying when her son is 40+ years old when there are children losing their parents in much sadder (and more newsworthy, which is the point) stories every day.

Well said, sebastian.

[kq76]

Originally Posted by Long_Long_Name

The thing is, unless you know a person, it can't be sad. If my mother dies, I don't expect you to be sad. If you say you don't care, it's not really nice, but I don't expect you to care.

The death of a person is not sad. if it were, well, we'd be sad all the time, since people die all the time. It annoys me when people see random people who die and say "sad". Everyone dies, death is not sad in itself.

Incapable of sympathy are you? Sometimes I think you just might be a robot.

When I heard, I felt sad for Gretzky and his family. That sadness doesn't last long though as not being close to the person it's much easier to move on. I'm that way for pretty much everyone except people I don't think highly of. Take for example, that black guy with, I think, 2 kids just after Hurricane Katrina who was on the news saying in tears that he lost his wife in it. I felt absolutely horrible for him so much so that my chest hurt. I don't have a clue who he was, but just seeing how sad he was made me sad as well. A lot of people I talked to sympathized with him.

I agree with those who say that if you don't have anything good to say in situations like these that it's best to just shut the hell up. Otherwise you just come off as an insensitive prick.

As for whether this is news worth reporting, well, it sure is up here as she's the mother of probably our greatest living hero. I'd say anything tragic to do with him is newsworthy up here. Down there, I don't know.

[reds1]

Originally Posted by kq76

As for whether this is news worth reporting, well, it sure is up here as she's the mother of probably our greatest living hero.

Look, if he's your hero, then fine. But don't presume to speak for others by saying "our". This is the very sentiment I resent from the news media.

[Long_Long_Name]

Originally Posted by kq76

Incapable of sympathy are you? Sometimes I think you just might be a robot.

If a classmate's mother dies and it makes her sad, I'll feel sympathy for the girl, just like I would if her boyfriend cheated on her or if she failed an exam or whatever.

However, death itself is not sad. A person dying is not a sad event. And I don't send my thoughts to Wayne Gretzky, because I don't know Wayne Gretzky. Him being the second best hockey player ever doesn't make me feel more for him than I would do for any stranger. I find it sad that Wayne Gretzky or any person feels sad if their mother dies, yes, but I don't feel sad that the person died. Everybody dies. I know you can't wait, but even I will die, and I hope you guys won't be sad .

[Joe Canadian]

This thread is sad....

RIP - Mrs. Gretzky!

[Long_Long_Name]

Originally Posted by Joe Canadian

RIP - Mrs. Gretzky!

i doubt she can hear you...

[kq76]

Originally Posted by reds1

Look, if he's your hero, then fine. But don't presume to speak for others by saying "our". This is the very sentiment I resent from the news media.

Oh, brother. I said probably and "our" doesn't necessarily mean everyone. It would be the same as me saying I think Canada is a relatively socialist country. Does that mean we're all socialists and care about those less fortunate? Of course it doesn't. There's plenty of jerks up here who would gladly step on someone who is down. Sometimes you need to read between the lines a little.

Also, it's usually best not to start a sentence with, "Look,". It usually doesn't help things. It sure doesn't ingratiate with me.

Originally Posted by Long_Long_Name

However, death itself is not sad. A person dying is not a sad event.

Maybe for you, Jean, but not all of us. We get it, you're not the most sympathetic person in the world.

[Long_Long_Name]

Originally Posted by kq76

Maybe for you, Jean, but not all of us. We get it, you're not the most sympathetic person in the world.

That's completely unfair. It's not because I don't agree with you as to what is sad and what isn't that I'm not sympathetic.

[Joe Canadian]

Originally Posted by Long_Long_Name

i doubt she can hear you...

[Long_Long_Name]

Originally Posted by Joe Canadian

Well, damn, you're telling her to rest in peace.

[Joe Canadian]

So will the "Sadness Police" be making an appearance in all future threads like this?

[Long_Long_Name]

Originally Posted by Joe Canadian

So will the "Sadness Police" be making an appearance in all future threads like this?

No, I'll be dead soon, and you can all be sad, or not, and it won't matter. but if you tell me to rest in peace, I likely won't be able to hear you.

[Joe Canadian]

Originally Posted by Long_Long_Name

No, I'll be dead soon, and you can all be sad, or not, and it won't matter. but if you tell me to rest in peace, I likely won't be able to hear you.

That's super, Jean!!

[Long_Long_Name]

Originally Posted by Joe Canadian

That's super, Jean!!

Very much.

[kq76]

Originally Posted by Long_Long_Name

That's completely unfair. It's not because I don't agree with you as to what is sad and what isn't that I'm not sympathetic.

Actually, I believe it is. You argued that death is not a sad event. I say for many of us it is and for some it doesn't matter one bit who died. I think the reason why you think death is not a sad event is because you feel only deaths of certain people bring out sadness in people and that the sadness is contingent on who that person is, but I believe that for some it just doesn't matter who died. For some, the death of anyone is sad and I think it's only fair to respect that they feel that way.

JoeC is right though. We shouldn't argue in a thread like this and I apologize for furthering it.

[Long_Long_Name]

So, kq... I'm genuinely asking this: how can you live a happy life if you think that any death is sad? I mean, people die all the time, all over the world, for so many reasons, if you think it's sad then... how can you live with knowing that people die all the time?

[sebastian0622]

Originally Posted by kq76

Actually, I believe it is. You argued that death is not a sad event. I say for many of us it is and for some it doesn't matter one bit who died. I think the reason why you think death is not a sad event is because you feel only deaths of certain people bring out sadness in people and that the sadness is contingent on who that person is, but I believe that for some it just doesn't matter who died. For some, the death of anyone is sad and I think it's only fair to respect that they feel that way.

JoeC is right though. We shouldn't argue in a thread like this and I apologize for furthering it.

The logical extension of this post is asking if you'd be more sad if your mom died than if an aunt died, and if you'd be more sad if an aunt died than if a stranger died?

The point is that we all have spectrums of grief based on how someone is related to us. Just because the people on the outer portion of that spectrum--complete strangers--don't evoke sadness in people like LLN and I doesn't mean that we aren't sympathetic. It just means that we prefer not to live our lives in eternal grief over the billions of people who will die while we are alive.

And all that is kind of peripheral to the point. The point is that this is being posted on an online micromanagement baseball simulation message board. Even if deaths of complete strangers made me sad, I don't see what place the obits have in the media or here.

I don't buy the sports connection making this relevant. Michael Jordan's father dying was relevant because he was playing, and it was reasonable to think it could affect his play. Same with Brett Favre. It can be poignant (to some people) to watch someone play on through that sort of emotional distress, to see how they react, and to see the emotional highs and lows clash when someone in that position succeeds. It's not so poignant to me to imagine Gretzky grieving in his mansion in retirement over the death of his elderly mother. A lot of people do that. Few do what Favre and Jordan did in such high-profile jobs.

[kq76]

Originally Posted by Long_Long_Name

So, kq... I'm genuinely asking this: how can you live a happy life if you think that any death is sad? I mean, people die all the time, all over the world, for so many reasons, if you think it's sad then... how can you live with knowing that people die all the time?

I'm not one of those who is saddened by any and every death though. As I said above, the deaths of people I don't care for does not bother me. Call me a prick, but that's just how I am. The deaths of people I don't know and whom I just presume are good people I do feel sad for though. But again like I said above, because I'm not close to them I'm able to soon move on from that sad feeling.

I do prefer to skip over bad news though. Take for example those commercials on tv asking for foreign relief aid, I have to click off those right away because they just put me in a bad state and I don't wish to live my life constantly sad or angry. I don't think those commercials, nor pretty much any marketing that appeals to one's emotions, are fair. Some of us are too easily influenced by them and I don't think it's fair to take advantage of us. It actually turns me off from those organizations more than it turns me on to them.

So to summarize, sometimes you just need to ignore stuff.

[Long_Long_Name]

Actually, Gretzky is the Coyotes' coach, and stepped down a few days ago to be around his mother, so he's still "around".

[Bluenoser]

Originally Posted by sebastian0622

The logical extension of this post is asking if you'd be more sad if your mom died than if an aunt died, and if you'd be more sad if an aunt died than if a stranger died?

The point is that we all have spectrums of grief based on how someone is related to us. Just because the people on the outer portion of that spectrum--complete strangers--don't evoke sadness in people like LLN and I doesn't mean that we aren't sympathetic. It just means that we prefer not to live our lives in eternal grief over the billions of people who will die while we are alive.

And all that is kind of peripheral to the point. The point is that this is being posted on an online micromanagement baseball simulation message board. Even if deaths of complete strangers made me sad, I don't see what place the obits have in the media or here.

I don't buy the sports connection making this relevant. Michael Jordan's father dying was relevant because he was playing, and it was reasonable to think it could affect his play. Same with Brett Favre. It can be poignant (to some people) to watch someone play on through that sort of emotional distress, to see how they react, and to see the emotional highs and lows clash when someone in that position succeeds. It's not so poignant to me to imagine Gretzky grieving in his mansion in retirement over the death of his elderly mother. A lot of people do that. Few do what Favre and Jordan did in such high-profile jobs.

Gretzky may not be playing anymore, but he's still very much involved with hockey, most noteably as Coach of the Phoenix Coyotes and as Executive Director of Canada's Olympic Team.

This feeling of sadness/non sadness could be debated back and forth forever. To me, Phyllis Gretzky wasn't someone I knew personally, but she was definitely someone I knew of for a number of years, so I felt some sadness and said a prayer for the Gretzky family. I don't feel that way for everyone who dies, just people I know or know of. It doesn't prevent me from living a happy life.

Why the sports media in the US decided to give it so much coverage is anyones guess, but up here in Canada it's perfectly understandable why it garnered so much coverage.

Oh, and this may be a micromanagement baseball simulation message board, but this particular forum is open to sports of any type, not just baseball.