Portland Raccoons (ABL)

[Westheim]

Raccoons (37-46) vs. Crusaders (35-46) – July 7-10, 2070

The Crusaders had a splendid chance to get rid of the red lantern in the division here, even though they scored an abysmal 3.35 runs per game (cough) and were merely average on the pitching side. They had a -56 run differential (Coons: -28). Portland was up 3-1 in the season series, but you’ve seen them play, haven’t you? It was just… (moves paws around). New York did however come in with a severely diminished roster; Ryan Marty, Javier Acuna, and Willie Ospina were all on the DL to further slash an already dire lineup, and both pesky centerfielder Bryant Box and reliever Nick Ellis had come out of Sunday’s game with injuries and were still on the roster, so at least for the opener they only had 23 players available. As if that would help us. Including another four-game set in New York after the break, we would play the Crusaders eight times in the next two weeks.

Projected matchups:
Vinny Morales (5-7, 3.63 ERA) vs. Erik Lee (5-6, 3.01 ERA)
Jimmy Wharton (4-6, 4.53 ERA) vs. Paul Egley (4-8, 3.71 ERA)
Nick Walla (5-7, 5.04 ERA) vs. Colt Long (5-5, 3.74 ERA)
Tony Gaytan (6-7, 3.47 ERA) vs. Jarod Nesbit (4-10, 4.68 ERA)

Long was the left-hander on duty in the Crusaders rotation.

Game 1
NYC: SS Roza – LF Merrill – C A. Morris – CF L. Morales – 3B Reber – 2B Philpot – RF Maudlin – 1B Duhon – P E. Lee
POR: 2B Yocum – LF Fumero – 3B Katzman – CF T. Wharton – 1B Morejon – SS Mireles – RF van Otterdijk – C Flowe – P V. Morales

Josh Roza and Adam Yocum started their halves of the first inning with singles and were then both doubled off by Jonathan Merrill and Carlos Fumero, respectively, so that was one way to play a 16-inning, 1-0 game eventually. The Crusaders stranded two in the second, and van Otterdijk hit a wallbanger double with two out and nobody on, and also no help from Jake Flowe after him. Vinny Morales managed to finally fall behind in the fourth inning, which Andy Morris opened with a double in the left-center gap. Luis Morales struck out, but Kyle Reber singled to right. Morris went home and was thrown out by van Otterdijk, but Reber moved up to second and then scored from there on Ryan Philpot’s single, because Vinny Morales was just in such a giving mood. He loaded the bases in the fifth, as Erik Lee singled off him, Merrill doubled, and Morris drew a walk, but Luis Morales drew the short stick again and grounded out to Mireles at short, leaving three on base. Vinny also singled off Lee in the bottom of the inning, but didn’t score any more than Lee had.

The Coons pushed Vinny for 103 pitches and seven innings, the score still being 1-0 at the stretch. Morejon led off the bottom 7th with a single, but was forced out by Mireles, who was then caught stealing, but van Otterdijk’s grounder to short would have doubled them up anyway, because that was the absolute state of offense with this team now. McMahan and Ramirez put the eighth together, and Javy Carpio finally pitched in the ninth inning, giving up three rockets, one of which fell for Jeff Maudlin for a double, but the other two were run down by Fumero and van Otterdijk… New York closer John Faughnan had the 2-3-4 batters up in the bottom 9th. Fumero had a 3-1 count before swinging. I groaned, but he hit a double off the wall in left. Katz walked, and then Wharton hit a pop near the leftfield line – and neither Merrill nor Reber got there in time. Fumero totally would have been out at second had the thing been caught, being on the HOME side of third base when the ball dinked in, but that also meant he scored the tying run and we didn’t have to go through this three-on, nobody-out ********. Katz stopped at second, making third on Morejon’s fielder’s choice grounder that erased Wharton’s meaningless run. Mireles popped out, but van Otterdijk walked off the Raccoons with a hit to left-center. 2-1 Blighters. Morejon 2-4; van Otterdijk 2-4, 2 2B, RBI; Morales 7.0 IP, 7 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 7 K and 1-2;

Carpio somehow got a W for that inning.

The Crusaders were still playing with a 23-man roster on Tuesday.

Game 2
NYC: LF Griffin – 2B Philpot – C A. Morris – RF B. Davidson – 3B Reber – CF Merrill – SS Maudlin – 1B Nakamura – P Egley
POR: 2B Yocum – SS Mireles – 3B Katzman – CF T. Wharton – 1B Morejon – RF Corral – LF van Otterdijk – C Brown – P J. Wharton

Ten days and an extra-inning L removed from his last start, Jimmyboy took to the hill and retired the first six batters he faced before Jeff Maudlin – like more parts of that Loggers machine (Reber and Merrill) not hitting above .220 – drew a walk off him to begin the third inning, but never got off first base as Natsu Nakamura and Egley (bunting) both struck out, and Tony Griffin flew out to center. Jimmy in the bottom 3rd knocked a 1-out single to left and Yocum extended a 10-game hitting streak with a double to left-center. Mireles’ sac fly brought home Little Wharton with the game’s first run, but Yocum was left on base when Katz grounded out to short.

That lead was then blown in splendidly stupid fashion in the fourth inning when Wharton walked Morris with one gone, allowed a single to Bill Davidson, walked Reber as well, and Merrill struck out with the bags full. Wharton then failed to throw a single strike to Maudlin, walking in the tying run before Nakamura lined out to Mireles. Griffin, Philpot, and Morris hits then slapped two more runs on his tally in the fifth, and he needed over 100 pitches to get through six innings before being removed unceremoniously…

The Crusaders extended an invitation in the bottom 6th, though, when Reber’s error put the leadoff man Yocum on base. Mireles walked, and Katz found the left-center gap for a game-tying triple, after which the Crusaders declined to pitch to cold-to-the-touch Tyler Wharton, who stole second out of spite. Morejon got another intentional walk, and there was the three-on, nobody-out, and in a tied game, too. Corral hit into a force at home, van Otterdijk fanned, and Brown bounced out to second, because could it really be any other ******* way?

New York was back up 4-3 in the seventh with Griffin’s leadoff single, two stolen bases, and a run-scoring groundout on Morris, all against Edgar Gutierrez. Otal batted for the pitcher to begin the bottom 7th, was drilled by Egley, and of course stranded by the top of the lineup. More runners in the eighth with Wharton’s leadoff single, another stolen base, since he was still angry, and then Morejon singled to put runners on the corners with nobody out. The Crusaders did the right thing and walked Corral in a full count, which made it three-oh in base/out counts again, and I calmly walked over to the cabinet where Maud kept the pesticide for the two plants in the room to spice up the Capt’n Coma a little. Van Otterdijk as if on command grounded to short sharp enough for the Crusaders to get Wharton out at the plate, but Sam Brown then hit a fly to left that was not particularly deep and caught by Griffin, but Morejon went for it anyway, and beat Griffin’s throw to tie the game. Murcia then flew out in the pitcher’s spot.

Pedro Valentin and 41-year-old ex-Coon Nick Robinson traded scoreless ninth innings, with Yocum hitting a single and getting his *** caught stealing. Nava held the game tied after that and Robinson gave up another leadoff single in the bottom 10th, this one to Wharton and into left, where Griffin misfielded the thing to put the winning run on second base. An intentional walk to Morejon and three feckless outs sent the game to the 11th. The Crusaders exploded all over John Reynolds for four runs, capped by Ryan Philpot’s 3-run homer, and Adam Dochterman put the lid on. 8-4 Crusaders. Yocum 2-6, 2B; T. Wharton 2-4, BB;

(helpless paw movements)

The Crusaders then got the required waiver from 10/5 rights holder Erik Lee (5-6, 2.80 ERA) and shipped the 35-year-old off to Atlanta. They received infielder Joe King (.332, 0 HR, 23 RBI) and a prospect, #145 OF Jose Oliveira.

That trade aside, they were STILL playing with 23 men on Wednesday, not that we were exploiting it very well.

Game 3
NYC: SS Roza – 2B Philpot – RF B. Davidson – CF Merrill – LF Griffin – C Orphanos – 3B J. King – 1B Duhon – P C. Long
POR: 2B Yocum – LF Fumero – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – 3B Murcia – 1B Morejon – RF van Otterdijk – C Flowe – P Walla

Yocum singled and Fumero doubled to begin the bottom 1st, upon which Katz barely got a run home on a grounder to short before Wharton and Murcia both struck out. In turn, Joe King raked a 3-run homer in his first Crusaders at-bat, taking Walla deep with Griffin and Mike Orphanos on the corners in the second inning. (buries face in paws)

The Coons made up a run in their end of the second inning with Morejon’s leadoff double, a grounder by the Otter, and Flowe’s sac fly, but then didn’t reach again until van Otterdijk hit a single leading off the bottom 5th, having helped hold Walla together somehow in the meantime. Long plonked Flowe, and Walla bunted both of them into scoring position with the inning’s first out. The inning ended with Yocum’s 9-2 double play fly to Davidson, van Otterdijk being hammered out at home.

Walla didn’t strike out a position player in six hapless innings, and instead allowed another two runs on three hits in the sixth, keeping his ERA solidly above five. He left in shame, and Long left in the bottom 6th with an apparent injury. Katz and Wharton then quickly hit singles off right-hander Dave Hyman, but were stranded by Murcia and Morejon. The tying run was at the dish again in the bottom 7th, and again with one out, after Flowe walked and Otal singled off Hyman. Yocum smashed into a double play. (screams in despair!)

Carpio pitched the last three innings of the game, putting up two eggs and then a 4-spot in another “they’re last in runs scored??” capped by Davidson with a 3-run homer. 9-2 Crusaders. Yocum 2-4; Otal 1-1;

The Raccoons placed Javy Carpio (1-1, 16.00 ERA) on waivers again after this ********, and he’d not go back to AAA if he cleared waivers this time.

Jamie Colter, who had just *cleared* waivers, was added back to the 40-man roster and called up, because we totally knew what we were doing.

New York in turn traded Maudlin (.227, 2 HR, 10 RBI) to the Miners for infielder Robert Ortiz (.230, 7 HR, 33 RBI) and #108 prospect SP Gabe Croley, found out that Bryant Box (.288, 2 HR, 33 RBI) had a broken elbow, and reliever Nick Ellis (1-1, 3.11 ERA, 1 SV) had torn his triceps, and those two were off to the DL for the rest of the season. No news on Long, who was on the roster, but they now had *24* bodies available for the series finale.

Game 4
NYC: SS Roza – LF Griffin – C A. Morris – CF B. Davidson – 3B Reber – 2B Philpot – RF Nakamura – 1B L. Morales – P Nesbit
POR: 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – 1B Morejon – CF T. Wharton – RF Corral – 3B Fumero – LF Otal – C Brown – P Gaytan

Gaytan put Griffin and Morris on base and then got two fly balls to center that sent Wharton back to make the last two outs in the inning before Yocum singled and extended his hitting streak to 13 games, only to immediately get doubled off by Katzman. New York went up 2-0 in the second as Philpot doubled, Luis Morales singled, and Roza doubled. Gaytan had nothing, evidenced by one strikeout through five innings, but at least the Crusaders didn’t stack up more runs in the early going. The Raccoons stacked up nothing but failure until Otal landed a gap triple in the bottom 5th and was actually brought home by Sam Brown to shorten the gap to 2-1. Gaytan then hit a 2-out single, but was left on.

Bill Davidson took Gaytan deep to make it 3-1 again in the sixth, and then Reber and Nakamura tacked on another run with a pair of searing doubles. Gaytan was yanked when he gave up a leadoff single to Nesbit in the seventh, which was just how **** was going ‘round here. Ramirez came in, but Roza singled, Griffin popped out, and Morris brought in Gaytan’s run when he jabbed an 0-2 pitch into play that the infielders declined to engage in any meaningful way. Davidson then romped another 3-piece to put the game away for good. Corral answered with the most useless homer in history, while John Reynolds issued a leadoff walk to the ******* opposing pitcher (who didn’t score, somehow) in the eighth. Steve George pitched in the ninth and gave up a single, a walk, a wild pitch, another walk, and finally a pinch-hit, 2-out slam to the New Yorkers’ newest arrival Robert Ortiz. 12-2 Crusaders. Van Otterdijk (PH) 1-1; Otal 3-4, 3B, 2B;

(lies face down in the cushions, not moving)

Raccoons (38-49) vs. Canadiens (46-39) – July 11-13, 2070

How the **** had the Elks gone to second place?? Well, I knew how they’d get into first place, given they’d get free wins against the Raccoons (11-28 in their last 39 games) in this weekend set. Elk City was fifth in runs scored and sixth in runs allowed, but their +27 run differential was more than plenty to get through here. They had three pitchers on the DL, most notably Ricardo Montoya. The Coons held a 5-4 lead in the season series that was about to die a ghastly death.

Projected matchups:
Gabriel Rios (4-0, 2.12 ERA) vs. Juan Rosado (6-8, 4.58 ERA)
Vinny Morales (5-7, 3.47 ERA) vs. Nick Waldron (9-5, 4.61 ERA)
Jimmy Wharton (4-6, 4.53 ERA) vs. Dallas Samson (6-6, 3.03 ERA)

Three right-handers. But they were three pitchers with any arms at all, so there was no hope.

Game 1
VAN: SS Barraza – 3B C. Castro – CF D. Moore – 1B H. Moreno – LF J. Hawkins – 2B Onelas – RF Bustillos – C J. Contreras – P J. Rosado
POR: 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – 1B Morejon – CF T. Wharton – LF Fumero – RF Corral – 3B Murcia – C Flowe – P Rios

Morejon hit a single in the first and was left on by Wharton, who was getting paid $9M as the world’s most expensive Designated Bystander, and nobody else reached until Rosado singled off Rios with two gone in the third inning. Roberto Barraza legged out an infield single, but Carlos Castro’s grounder to Katz ended the inning before it could spiral. Flowe singled to begin the bottom 3rd and was forced out on a **** bunt by Rios, who then held up the line as Yocum singled and Katz drew a walk to load the bags. Morejon then hit a comebacker to Rosado for the most trivial out at home plate in a while, but Jonathan Contreras played it too slowly to get Morejon at first and instead Big Check Wharton got to strike out to end the inning.

Dan Moore’s leadoff walk in the fourth ended with a strike-em-out, throw-em-out on Hector Moreno, and Rios then did get a lead when Corral took Rosado deep to right in the bottom of the inning. Moreover, Murcia and Flowe also reached with one out. Rios then crapped into an out at third base on his bunt attempt, but Yocum filled the bases with a bloop single behind Marcos Onelas, and Katz emptied the bases with a 3-run double in the left-center gap before being left on by Morejon. Offense!!

Rosado left with an injury in the fifth, and replacement Brian Brillhart nicked Murcia in that inning, and Wharton in the sixth after straight singles by the 1-2-3 batters had given the Coons another 1-out run. Fumero upped the score to 6-0 with a fielder’s choice grounder to second, Oliver Graham replaced Brillhart, but gave up another run on a Corral single. Murcia then flew out to end the inning. Rios finished seven, issuing two walks before being bailed out on a 4-6-3 double play in that last inning. Gutierrez had a scoreless eighth, but the same couldn’t be said for the Elks’ Tzu-jao Ruan, who retired nobody and was lifted after allowing four straight hits to the 3-4-5-6 hitters; Fumero doubled home a run, and Corral drove in two more with a single. Paul Wolk then got three straight outs, while Gutierrez got one more in the ninth before walking Jeff Hawkins and Marcos Onelas. Reynolds replaced him and somehow got the last two outs, John Bustillos’ sharp groundout to first, and Contreras’ fly out to center. 10-0 Furballs! Yocum 3-4, BB; Katzman 2-4, BB, 2B, 3 RBI; Morejon 3-5, RBI; Corral 3-4, BB, HR, 4 RBI; Flowe 2-5; Rios 7.0 IP, 4 H, 0 R, 3 BB, 5 K, W (5-0);

Game 2
VAN: SS Barraza – CF D. Moore – 1B H. Moreno – RF Lozada – LF Bustillos – 2B Ratliff – 3B C. Castro – C J. Contreras – P Waldron
POR: 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – 1B Morejon – CF T. Wharton – 3B Fumero – RF Corral – LF Otal – C Flowe – P Morales

Yocum drew a leadoff walk in the first, but didn’t come around to score, and instead the Elks got on the board first when John Bustillos precisely placed a skimmer inches inside the rightfield line and into the corner for a triple and scored on Andy Ratliff’s sac fly. Otal got on, but was caught stealing in the bottom 2nd, while the Elks slapped three singles off Morales in the third inning, but Corral threw out Roberto Barraza at home plate to deny them another run. Morales singled and didn’t score either in the Coons’ half of the inning, then removed Carlos Castro from the game by hitting him in the hoof with a breaking ball. He was replaced with Jose Alvarez.

Bottom 4th, and Morejon hit a deep fly for an out to Bustillos to begin the inning before Wharton singled and Fumero doubled to left. No runs, of course, as Corral popped out and Otal grounded out. The Elks then opened a 4-0 lead with Moore and Lozada homers, more hits by Bustillos and Ratliff, and Alvarez plated a run with a groundout before Morales ended the inning on a Contreras pop to Morejon. Morales was pinch-hit for after that socking of an inning.

The Coons then got five outs from Ramirez, three from McMahan, and four from George, all without allowing a run, but Waldron was taking his shutout to the bottom of the ninth before allowing singles to Wharton and Mireles. Elijah LaBat replaced him, which lined up so neatly (for them) with the three lefty sticks the Coons had coming up next. LaBat faced none of them, as van Otterdijk batted for Corral and spanked right away into a game-ending double play. 4-0 Canadiens. T. Wharton 2-4; Mireles (PH) 1-1; Murcia 1-1;

Used up all ya runs on Friday, huh??

Yocum’s 14-game hitting streak also died today.

Game 3
VAN: SS Barraza – 2B Ratliff – CF D. Moore – RF Lozada – 1B H. Moreno – LF J. Hawkins – 3B C. Castro – C J. Contreras – P Samson
POR: 2B Yocum – 3B Katzman – 1B Morejon – CF T. Wharton – RF Corral – SS Mireles – LF Otal – C Brown – P J. Wharton

Jimmy Wharton struck out Barraza and then gave up two singles before Lozada hit into a double play. Yocum drew a leadoff walk, got forced out by Katz, and then Morejon crashed into a double play. Odds were high that one team was gonna punch a zero at this point. It wasn’t the Coons – Tyler Wharton hit a home run to left to begin the bottom 2nd – but the Elks then equalized immediately with their 1-2-3 hitters clipping straight 2-out singles against Jimmyboy in the third inning before Lozada grounded out to short.

Yocum singled, stole second, and scored on Katz’ double to left to make it a 2-1 lead in the bottom 3rd, but Katz was left on base with strikeouts on the 3-4 batters, a scratch single by Corral, and Mireles’ fly out to center. Back to the basic recipe then: Otal singled to begin the fourth, stole second, and was doubled in by Sam Brown, 3-1. Samson then managed to walk Jimmyboy in a full count, then gave up a single to Yocum into left-center. Brown was waved around third base aggressively and scored ahead of Moore’s meek throw, and the trailing runners managed to reach scoring position, with still no outs in the inning. Wharton only scored on Morejon’s sac fly after a Katz pop, Wharton’s single didn’t leave the infield dirt and prevented Yocum from scoring from second, and Corral fanned against reliever Oliver Graham, leaving runners on the corners in a 5-1 game.

Graham nicked Brown in the bottom 5th, then put the 3-4-5 batters all on base in the sixth inning, and Corral singled home Katzman for another run. Mireles hit a high fly to deep left, but it came down in Hawkins’ mitten while he was touching the wall, ending the inning. Stingy defense then helped Jimmy get through eight innings in this game without allowing another run, and both Wharton’s left after those eight innings, as did Katzman, as the two position players were going to the All Star Game and got an earlier send-off. Colter and Murcia filled the ranks while Nava pitched the final inning before the break. 6-1 Raccoons. Yocum 2-4, BB, RBI; Katzman 2-4, 2B, RBI; T. Wharton 2-3, BB, HR, RBI; Corral 2-4, RBI; Brown 2-3, 2B, RBI; J. Wharton 8.0 IP, 6 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 3 K, W (5-6);

In other news

July 8 – Career quad-A outfielder Evan Mottern (.333, 1 HR, 2 RBI) ends a 14-inning game with a walkoff home run to give the Blue Sox a 4-3 win over the Capitals.
July 9 – NAS OF Evan Mottern (.385, 1 HR, 2 RBI) hits a pinch-hit single in the eighth inning for the only Blue Sox base hit in a 3-1 loss to Washington. WAS SP Bobby MacDonald (9-6, 3.51 ERA) and CL Jon Dominguez (1-2, 4.00 ERA, 13 SV) combine for the 1-hitter.
July 10 – NAS SP Eddie Gonzalez (5-7, 3.32 ERA) is out for the season with inflammation in his shoulder.
July 11 – The Crusaders beat the Titans, 1-0 in ten innings.
July 12 – The Condors dump the salary of 33-year-old INF Rich Monck (.294, 3 HR, 20 RBI) on the Loggers in exchange for paying the pennies left on the 1-year deal for 38-year-old LF Chad Pritchett (.278, 2 HR, 4 RBI).
July 13 – An 18-2 thrashing by the Buffaloes gives the Capitals some wounds to lick over the break. For the Buffos, OF Jose Banuelos (.307, 11 HR, 51 RBI) drives in six runs, and “defensive catcher” Pat Cohen (.258, 6 HR, 33 RBI) adds five more. The pair slugs nothing but extra-base knocks, with a double and a grand slam for Banuelos, and a double and two homers for Cohen.

Player of the Week (FL): LAP LF/RF John Miller (.296, 14 HR, 47 RBI), batting .529 (9-17) with 2 HR, 4 RBI
Player of the Week (CL): LVA OF Victor Lorenzo (.364, 0 HR, 21 RBI), clipping .481 (13-27) with 7 RBI

Complaints and stuff

The Raccoons somehow got three All Stars, with Gabriel Rios being the only pitcher in the bunch. Big Wharton and Katzman also got nominations. This was Wharton’s tenth All Star Game, and the second as a Raccoon. Katz went there for the third (straight) year, and the first time in a brown shirt. Rios made the showcase for the first time.

Gabriel Rios has a 2.10 ERA in relief this year… and 1.77 when he’s starting (although the K/BB was 6.4 in relief and was only 3.1 as starter). No clue why this never worked in the past, or when the universe will re-align himself to give him a 6-run first in the snout.

Javy Carpio was released after clearing waivers on Saturday.

We’re on the road for the next two weeks (minus the break of course), playing four in New York, and then three games each in Milwaukee and Oklahoma City.

The real question is whether we throw in the towel on this roster now, or whether we will take another aim with Steve Humphries next year.

Fun Fact: Erik Lee spent 15 years in the Crusaders organization since being drafted #13 in 2055.

He made his debut in 2059 and pitched that year and the next mostly in relief, but was in the rotation by ’61 and has been largely steady, although his best ERA in a qualifying season was actually 3.12 right away in ’61. He had won a ring and two Gold Gloves with New York, and had gone 109-118 with a 3.82 ERA, two saves, and 1,495 strikeouts in 1,893 innings.

[DD Martin]

The real question is whether we throw in the towel on this roster now, or whether we will take another aim with Steve Humphries next year.

At this point might as well role it out there one more time. This offense has to be better than it is showing. Maybe move the fences in when big Wharton is up so he thinks he’s in Denver again. I hear Ole Anderson knows how to run the controls just like he did the cage all those years ago. (Obscure reference that many baseball fans won’t know).

[Westheim]

I'm sure not getting that reference.

It defies logic that Big Wharton (missed a few games, but c'mon) is batting behind the OBP's of Yocum, Katz, and Fumero for three months and can't drive in more than 47 runs.

Of course the pitching is rancid, too, but ... (waves paws around)

I don't *feel* like trading down, but I also hate sitting in last place while waiting for Big Wharton to get wrinkles.

Edit:

Interesting, though, two sets of numbers for some players. The first set is their slash line this season with the bases empty. The second is with runners in scoring position (I’d love to parade 2nd+3rd or loaded around, but the sample sizes are inevitably meaningless)

Big Wharton
.358/.410/.604
.250/.349/.413

Corral
.278/.345/.413
.219/.333/.266

The Otter
.278/.345/.413
.219/.333/.266

Mireles
.325/.357/.563
.308/.367/.385

By contrast, Fumero:
.221/.261/.255
.354/.395/.418

Yocum, Katz, and Morejon are close to even between those two categories. Flowe as well (equally ****).

[Westheim]

All Star Game

The Continental League beat the Federal League, 7-3, with all runs being scored in the last four innings of the contest. The big offense came from the Thunder pair of Jose Palominos, who went 2-for-5 with a bases-clearing double, and Ian Stone, who entered as a substitute, but bashed a 3-run homer and won MVP honors.

On the Raccoons’ side, Gabriel Rios pitched a scoreless fourth inning. John Katzman played the entire game at short and went 0-for-3 with two walks, while Tyler Wharton subbed for Eddie Marcotte of Boston and went 0-for-1 with a walk.

No hits sounds exactly like the Raccoons.

Raccoons (40-50) @ Crusaders (40-48) – July 17-20, 2070

Another four games with the Crusaders to begin the new road trip. New York had the second-fewest runs scored now and the third-fewest runs allowed, and the Raccoons were probably still inept. The season series was now even at four.

Projected matchups:
Nick Walla (5-8, 5.19 ERA) vs. Jarod Nesbit (5-10, 4.51 ERA)
Tony Gaytan (6-8, 3.67 ERA) vs. Paul Egley (5-8, 3.50 ERA)
Gabriel Rios (5-0, 1.91 ERA) vs. Dennis Marck (4-6, 3.35 ERA)
Vinny Morales (5-8, 3.64 ERA) vs. TBD

Colt Long (6-5, 3.72 ERA) had hit the DL after the Raccoons series and was now out along with Bryant Box, Willie Ospina, and Nick Ellis. For southpaws, Nick Robinson (3-1, 3.03 ERA) and Russell Anderson (1-2, 3.08 ERA) were in the mix, with 60 appearances and just two starts between those two for the season.

Game 1
POR: 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – 1B Morejon – CF T. Wharton – RF Corral – LF Fumero – 3B Murcia – C Flowe – P Walla
NYC: C Marty – 2B Philpot – RF J. Acuna – CF B. Davidson – 3B Reber – LF Griffin – SS J. King – 1B Nakamura – P Nesbit

Katzman returned from his pointless All Star Game appearance and right away hit into a double play after Yocum opened the post-break part of the schedule with a single. Rest had done Nick Walla no good, as he was behind every batter in the first inning and gave up a single to Ryan Marty, a double to Javier Acuna, and a run on a deep sac fly to center to Bill Davidson. Kyle Reber also sent Wharton back, but made the third out. The leadoff man was on base in the second, when Tony Griffin singled, and third, when Walla plunked Marty. Neither scored, nor did Griffin and Joe King with their two hits in the fourth inning, but Walla sure wasn’t fooling anybody.

The Raccoons didn’t get a good chance to score until Fumero hit a double in the fifth inning and then actually was brought around with the tying run on Jake Flowe’s 1-out RBI single. Walla then hit into a celebratory double play, put another purple hat on base in the bottom 5th, but also got a 5-4-3 double play turned by Rafael Murcia. Yocum was on his third single of the game in the sixth inning, stole his 20th base of the year, and was still left on, while Bill Davidson hit a leadoff single for New York, but they were just as useless with a body on base. Was it any wonder those two teams brought up the bottom of the CL North…?

Murcia singled and Flowe socked a homer in the seventh inning to take an unexpected lead, and Walla somehow added another inning, scattering eight hits in seven innings of 1-run ball. Katz doubled and Wharton was walked with a plan in the eighth inning, and the Crusaders indeed got Corral to hit into an inning-ending double play there. Nava got three outs in the bottom 8th, and Valentin thought the game needed more leadoff singles, giving one up to Kyle Reber before ringing up the next three batters in the ninth inning. 3-1 Blighters. Yocum 3-4; Fumero 2-4, 2B; Flowe 2-4, HR, 3 RBI; Walla 7.0 IP, 8 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 5 K, W (6-8);

Game 2
POR: 2B Yocum – 3B Katzman – 1B Morejon – CF T. Wharton – RF Corral – LF Fumero – SS Mireles – C Flowe – P Gaytan
NYC: SS Roza – C Marty – RF J. Acuna – CF B. Davidson – 3B Reber – LF Griffin – 2B J. King – 1B Duhon – P Egley

Chris Duhon’s 2-run homer in the second inning put Gaytan in a hole, but the Raccoons made up the two runs at the next opportunity, as Flowe singled to begin the top 3rd, was bunted over to second by Gaytan, and then Yocum singled, Katzman singled, a double steal advanced those into scoring position, and Morejon tied the game with a sac fly… and then Wharton left another guy in scoring position, because of course he would.

Portland didn’t score after Corral’s leadoff walk in the fourth, and they wouldn’t have scored in the fifth either after 2-out singles by Morejon and Wharton had put them on the corners, but Joe King fumbled Corral’s grounder for an error, and that gave Portland a 3-2 lead. Fumero insisted on grounding out, leaving two on after all, and then Gaytan began the bottom 5th with a walk to King, drilling Duhon out of the game by taking his leg off at the knee, and then somehow not giving up a run as Egley bunted, Josh Roza whiffed, and Marty popped out to Mireles. Natsu Nakamura replaced Duhon, who went on the DL after the game.

Gaytan shed another leadoff walk to Javier Acuna in the sixth, and then a 2-run homer to Griffin to flip the score around to 4-3 New York. He gave up a 2-out hit to Marty in the seventh to get yanked, and Gutierrez surrendered the run when Marty stole second and then scored on Javier Acuna’s single to center. Egley was still pitching in the eighth, getting two outs before Benito Otal pinch-hit and singled. Egley then nicked Flowe, but van Otterdijk grounded out pointlessly. Steve George gave up another run in the bottom of the eighth, and Tyler Wharton hit a 2-out homer with Yocum on base off John Faughnan in the ninth … but thanks to that last run on George it wasn’t enough to get even. Corral grounded out to end the game. 6-5 Crusaders. Yocum 2-5; T. Wharton 2-5, HR, 2 RBI; Otal (PH) 1-1; Flowe 1-2, BB;

Tony, you can’t give up walks AND homers. Pick one!

(reconsiders) Or none!

J.P. Gallo came off the DL on Saturday, which, y’know… yay! … Jamie Colter was made redundant for batting 65 points less than even Gallo…

Game 3
POR: 2B Yocum – 1B Fumero – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – RF Corral – LF Otal – C Flowe – 3B Gallo – P Rios
NYC: SS Roza – 1B Nakamura – CF B. Davidson – 2B Philpot – LF Griffin – C Marty – 3B J. King – RF Ledesma – P Marck

Wharton drove in another run by accident in the first inning on Saturday, knocking an RBI single after Katz drew a 2-out walk and gained second base on a wild pitch by Marck. Before we then had another run or hit, we had a 40-minute rain delay in the bottom of the third that was sure to trip up Rios, one way or another.

Katz scored again after Wharton batted in the fourth, but this time the run was unearned because of Joe King’s 2-base throwing error on Wharton’s grounder. Katzman, who had led off with a double, came home from second to make it 2-0. Corral scratched a single to move Wharton to third, from where he scored on Otal’s groundout. Flowe whiffed, Gallo was walked intentionally for some silly reason, and then Rios gave the Crusaders what they deserved and lashed a 2-out, 2-run double to up the tally to 5-0. Yocum grounded out sharply to Ryan Philpot to end the inning. In total, three runs were unearned for Marck, who was out of the game just two batters later; Fumero singled and stole second, then scored on a Katz single, 6-0, and that was the end for the right-hander. Dave Hyman gave up Katz’ run on an Otal single with two outs (after almost getting taken deep by Wharton, who flew out to Raul Ledesma at the fence). Hyman plunked Flowe, then gave up a 3-piece to .189 hitter J.P. Gallo, 10-0.

Something had to go wrong at some point, and Bill Davidson hit a home run off Rios in the sixth, and in the seventh Ledesma slapped a leadoff single off the left-hander, who then was consulted by the trainer and coaches, and left the game with an apparent injury, and I fainted through the nearest folding table. John Reynolds came in surrendered the Ledesma run while also walking a pair of Crusaders; those runners stayed on base.

Top 8th, and right-hander Jorge Solis nicked Gallo, who made it to third base on Yocum’s 1-out single, and from there came home when Fumero hit a sac fly to Davidson. That was the last run of the game; the Coons scored one short of a dozen on nine hits, four walks, two hit batters, and an error. Ramirez and Gutierrez finished the game on the hill. 11-2 Raccoons. Katzman 2-3, BB, 2B, RBI; Gallo 1-2, BB, HR, 3 RBI; Rios 6.0 IP, 6 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 4 K, W (6-0) and 1-3, 2B, 2 RBI;

This game is gonna go into the dictionary, right underneath the word “pyrrhic”.

Game 4
POR: 2B Yocum – LF Fumero – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – RF van Otterdijk – 1B Morejon – 3B Gallo – C Flowe – P Morales
NYC: SS Roza – 2B Philpot – 3B Reber – CF B. Davidson – 1B Nakamura – LF Griffin – C Marty – RF Ledesma – P R. Anderson

The Raccoons hit three singles and drew a walk in the first inning, and scored nothing thanks to Fumero’s 5-4-3 double play and Morejon grounding out with the bases loaded. Vinny Morales hit a single his first time up, meaning he had more hits than the Crusaders the first time through. Ten of the purple poopers went down in order before Philpot drew a walk off Morales and was caught stealing. Griffin’s single with two outs in the bottom 5th got them into the H column, where the Coons had six entries, but neither team managed to score inside of five innings.

Katz hit a single to begin the sixth, but Wharton grounded out, the Otter walked, and then Morejon and Gallo made poor outs on the infield to keep those runners stranded, too. Morales hit another single in the seventh and was quickly forced out by Yocum’s grounder to short, and Yocum was left on base.

Bottom 7th, New York made an out with PH Jonathan Merrill before Reber walked. Davidson flew out, Nakamura singled, and then Morales nicked Acuna to fill the bases. Ryan Marty was up with three on and two outs, and hit a ball right back and comfortably to Morales for a cozy third out. These teams were somehow deserving of each other…

Anderson’s spot start ran seven-and-a-third, and Morales completed eight shutout innings, and the scoreboard was still empty. Closer John Faughnan faced the 6-7-8 in the ninth. Two outs were made before Flowe doubled, but Corral’s pinch-hitting appearance ended with a poor grounder to Joe King at second. Nava retired the 3-4-5 in the bottom of the inning to send the game to overtime. Yocum flew out with Faughnan still in, but Fumero singled and stole second. Faughnan and Katz danced for a full count, and then Katz hammered a ball over the fence in right for a homer! Christopher Tinari replaced Faughnan, got Wharton on a long fly to right, but then put the next three on base and plated a run with a wild pitch. Valentin retired the Crusaders in order to claim the series. 3-0 Blighters. Katzman 4-5, HR, 2 RBI; Morejon 2-5; Morales 8.0 IP, 3 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 5 K and 2-3;

In other news

July 14 – The Indians send OF Matt McInnis (.236, 0 HR, 4 RBI) to the Titans for two prospects.
July 16 – The Falcons trade 3B/2B Paul Weber (.288, 6 HR, 26 RBI) and a prospect to the Scorpions for 2B/3B Alex Rodriguez (.216, 4 HR, 30 RBI) and cash.
July 17 – Rebs OF Juan Licona (.318, 4 HR, 31 RBI) sits pretty with a 20-game hitting streak thanks to a ninth-inning single in a 16-4 rush against the Miners. Licona was 0-for-3 with two walks before the late breakthrough.
July 17 – CIN SP Blake Anderson (5-5, 4.85 ERA) and Luis Briseno (4-4, 3.84 ERA) pitch a combined 1-hitter against the Buffaloes in an 11-0 rout. The only Buffos single is hit by C Pat Cohen (.259, 6 HR, 33 RBI).
July 18 – The Falcons send LF/RF Tony Lopez (.293, 9 HR, 39 RBI) to the Warriors for 30-year-old AAA infielder Danny Moraida and a prospect.
July 18 – Milwaukee trades SP Tom Delaney (6-6, 4.57 ERA) to Pittsburgh for infielder Roland Hood (.255, 4 HR, 7 RBI) and a prospect.
July 19 – Topeka sends 2B/SS Ramon Archuleta (.228, 7 HR, 34 RBI) to Denver, along with a bag of cash, for right-handed swingman Josh Morris (1-2, 3.03 ERA).
July 20 – Richmond’s Juan Licona (.314, 4 HR, 32 RBI) has his 22-game hitting streak ended in an 11-1 loss to the Miners.

Player of the Week (FL): SAC 2B/3B Matt Kilday (.342, 0 HR, 13 RBI), batting .600 (9-15) with 4 RBI
Player of the Week (CL): MIL RF/LF Carlos Dominguez (.380, 12 HR, 76 RBI), raking .476 (10-21) with 2 HR, 9 RBI

Complaints and stuff

The Raccoons win a series, but Gabriel Rios left with the injury and has been in the humming tube thing since then, so we’re probably ******. Yes, we’re ****** anyway. I mean… who else would you even consider a fifth starter on this train wreck of a team?

The price on Jose Espino is up to $1.4M by now and we’re about to run out of dosh unless we can flip a contract soon. It’s going *great*.

Monday is off, and then we’re at the Loggers and Thunder. That’s gonna be a not so fun week.

Fun Fact: Val Centeno has not allowed a run across 13.2 innings in his last two AAA starts.

Let’s just not say anything else about his numbers right now.

Okay, this much: he has a 5.43 ERA in AAA this year. And it’s going down from A LOT MORE.

[Westheim]

The next week began with the Raccoons being told by owner Adam Valdes’ office that the foolish (!) pursuit of international free agent Jose Espino had to stop, since the team was already over its allotted budget, trying to blow more on a teenager and taxes, and Mr. Valdes was not amused.

Neither was I at the prospect of losing one of the best 16-year-olds we had seen in years, but the roster didn’t lend itself to quickly freeing up a million bucks just like that. The off day on Monday was spent trying to cut one of the bottom-of-the-order bats that actually made a few coins – all without success.

The cut had to be deeper.

Trade

On Monday night, the Raccoons and Stars (who were just 1 1/2 games out in the FL West) got everybody’s attention by striking a 5-player deal that saw 1B Jerry Morejon (.276, 10 HR, 45 RBI) and UT Carlos Fumero (.297, 0 HR, 28 RBI) dealt to Dallas for a trio of prospects, all ranked: #12 AA SP Phil Beck, #48 MR Todd Sullivan (1-0, 3.40 ERA), and #184 AA 2B Roberto Pena.

The South Dakotan Sullivan had already exceeded rookie limits this season, so his #48 ranking was more academical, and he also wasn’t doing too great with 6.1 BB/9 in 37 major league games and would be sent to St. Petersburg at this moment. I also found Beck’s rating way overhyped, and he was lacking a sound third pitch, so that was that. Beck and Pena were kept at the AA level and assigned to Ham Lake.

What this trade did right then and there was to A) shoot the Critters’ lineup completely for the rest of the season, and B) free up almost $2.2M in previously non-existing budget space to throw it at the 16-year-old international free agent ****** Jose Espino, whom they called “Pan de Molde” in the Dominican Republic, and I needed my filthy paws on that kid…!!

Of course, there was also a cascade of roster moves with this trade and also Gabriel Rios (6-0, 2.00 ERA) being sent to the DL with a biceps strain that would keep him out for a month. Three roster spots opened and went to SP Val Centeno (for his major league debut), 1B Dan Gomez, and 1B/LF/RF/3B Jamie Colter.

Raccoons (43-51) @ Loggers (53-38) – July 22-24, 2070

The diminished Raccoons then showed up in Milwaukee on Tuesday for the first three of the remaining 68 games of sadness this season. The Loggers had a 6-game lead in the division after shaking the Elks, and sat second in both runs scored and runs allowed, with a +103 run differential. Somehow the Coons were up 5-4 in the season series, but I had a hunch that this was gonna swing in the next three days, despite three pieces of the Loggers lineup on the DL: Dave Wright, Cesar Ramirez, and Sean Van Leeuwen were all unavailable for this series.

Projected matchups:
Jimmy Wharton (5-6, 4.28 ERA) vs. Curt Green (5-2, 4.00 ERA)
Nick Walla (6-8, 4.94 ERA) vs. Danny Ortiz (9-6, 5.07 ERA)
Tony Gaytan (6-9, 3.83 ERA) vs. Matt Crist (9-5, 4.00 ERA)

The Loggers brought up only right-handed starters for this series. Meanwhile the Raccoons scheduled Val Centeno’s debut for the opener of the following Thunder series, since sending the injury-addled greenhorn up against the Milwaukee Axe Swingers for his debut sounded a lot like animal cruelty.

Game 1
POR: 2B Yocum – LF Otal – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – RF Corral – C Flowe – 3B Gallo – 1B Gomez – P J. Wharton
MIL: LF Alaniz – CF Parrish – RF C. Dominguez – C M. Rodriguez – 2B Hood – SS F. Carrera – 3B Shapiro – 1B Kiger – P C. Green

The diminished Critters got a quick paw up in the Tuesday opener with a Yocum single and a 2-run homer by Katz in the first inning. Tyler Wharton and Flowe then dropped singled and J.P. Gallo raked a 3-run homer on top of that, for a 5-0 lead. Jimmy Wharton gave two runs back just an inning later, walking Roland Hood and giving up a bunch of singles to Fidel Carrera, Vince Shapiro and Tony Melendez, who was already pinch-hitting for Curt Green. A strikeout to Mario Alaniz ended the inning with runners no the corners in a 5-2 game.

It wasn’t until the sixth that Jimmyboy had a 1-2-3 inning, as the Loggers had another two singles in the third, one in the fourth, and one in the fifth, none of which turned into a run, while Luis Lerma also pitched four innings of scoreless long relief against the Raccoons to keep the 5-2 score in place. Jimmy added another scoreless inning in the seventh, while the Loggers lost reliever Nick Walters to injury before his successor Raul Salas struck Jose Corral in the shoulder with a fastball, and Corral left the game in discomfort, being replaced with Colter, who was stranded on first by Flowe to end the inning. Jimmyboy got another out from John Parrish, but left the game after Carlos Dominguez singled to right in the bottom 8th. Edgar Gutierrez came in, walked Manuel Rodriguez, and got a fly out to left from Roland Hood, then was replaced with McMahan when the lefty-hitting Roberto Soto pinch-hit for Fidel Carrera. The southpaw entered in a double switch that took out Big Wharton, moved Otal to center, and put the Otter in left, and he caught Soto’s fly to end the inning. McMahan also got the save by finishing the game against the three left-handed bats the Loggers had in the 7-8-9 spot, who went down in order in the ninth. 5-2 Critters. T. Wharton 2-5; Gallo 2-4, HR, 3 RBI; J. Wharton 7.1 IP, 8 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 1 BB, 5 K, W (6-6); McMahan 1.1 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 1 K, SV (1);

Jose Corral had a bum shoulder and was day-to-day, which might limit his use for the rest of the week, which … (looks at what’s left in terms of outfielders) … sucked.

Game 2
POR: 2B Yocum – LF Otal – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – RF van Otterdijk – 3B Gallo – C Brown – 1B Gomez – P Walla
MIL: SS F. Carrera – 1B Kiger – C M. Rodriguez – RF C. Dominguez – 2B Hood – CF Parrish – 3B Monck – LF Alaniz – P D. Ortiz

Nick Walla had next to nothing once again and gave up three hits and two walks the first time through the lineup, including a leadoff single on a 2-2 pitch to the pitcher Ortiz in the third, while being kept alive largely by two 4-6-3 double plays started by Yocum and a diving catch by Gallo on a string hit by Rich Monck against his old team. The Coons had two hits and amounted to no threats the first time through, but Carrera then opened a door in the fourth by throwing away Wharton’s double play grounder after Katz’ leadoff single and now two were on with nobody out instead of nobody on and two out. Van Otterdijk hit an RBI double to right for the game’s first run, but Gallo fanned, Brown grounded out to first base, Dan Gomez wasn’t pitched to, and Walla went down flailing to leave the bases loaded. He then issued a leadoff walk to Carlos Dominguez and got a third double play started by Yocum on Hood’s following grounder…

Fidel Carrera homered the game tied to lead off the bottom 6th and Walla then put Rodriguez and Dominguez on the corners with one out before popping out Hood. The Coons went to Reynolds and Murcia in a double switch that exited Gallo, and Parrish popped out to Katz to end the inning. Reynolds got four outs in total in the 1-1 tie before his spot came up with Katz and van Otterdijk, whom Danny Ortiz had just sledgehammered on base with a fastball and two outs in the eighth, on the bases. Jose Corral claimed to be good for a pinch-hitting appearance, but grounded out to end the inning. Danny Nava entered the bottom 8th, nailed Michael Kiger, and then was taken deep by Manuel Rodriguez. The Coons didn’t get beyond a pinch-hit single by Mireles against B.J. Butrico in the ninth, and thus lost the game. 3-1 Loggers. Katzman 2-4; Mireles (PH) 1-1;

Game 3
POR: 2B Yocum – LF Otal – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – RF van Otterdijk – C Flowe – 3B Murcia – 1B Colter – P Gaytan
MIL: SS F. Carrera – 1B Kiger – C M. Rodriguez – RF C. Dominguez – 2B Hood – CF Parrish – 3B Monck – LF R. Soto – P Crist

The first four Coons made outs on Thursday before van Otterdijk doubled to left and Flowe softly singled to right, putting a pair on the corners. Rafael Murcia showed that he was already well integrated into the team and hit into a double play to resolve the issue. Gaytan meanwhile had no stuff, either, allowed a single to Carrera, the first batter he faced, and then nothing until he gave up another single with one out in the third to the ******* opposing pitcher. A wild pitch and Michael Kiger’s 2-out RBI knock gave the Loggers a 1-0 lead before Rodriguez struck out.

The fourth was uneventful, but Colter scratched out a 1-out single in the fifth inning. Gaytan bunted him to second, and from there it took two more singles from Yocum and Otal to get the sluggish (not: slugging) outfielder home and score the tying run. Katz then grounded out in a 3-2 count to leave runners on the corners. The Raccoons did take the lead an inning later, though, as Wharton singled softly, advanced on the Otter’s groundout, and then scored when Flowe singled to right-center. Murcia hit into another double play to kill that inning, too.

After Rodriguez nearly crashed a leadoff jack that Otal picked at the fence in the bottom 6th, it also started to rain, adding to Gaytan’s many, many issues. At least the score got better – Colter hit a gapper for a double to begin the seventh, and while Gaytan popped out uselessly and Yocum and his .356 stick were intentionally walked, and Crist got Otal out, Katz then got him for a booming 3-run homer to left to run the tally to 5-1!

Gaytan was hit for in the eighth, and the Loggers got back into the game in the same frame. McMahan got two outs from PH Vince Shapiro and Carrera, but then allowed a single to Kiger. Victor Ramirez replaced him, gave up another hit to Rodriguez, and then a 2-run double to Dominguez. Hood then grounded out as the tying run, sending the game to the ninth, where Raul Salas got two outs, then walked Katz and Wharton. Brown batted for the Otter against the right-hander and hit a scratch single to fill the bases for the other catcher, but Flowe grounded out to Kiger. Valentin got the ball for the bottom 9th and blew the lead quite effortlessly, giving up leadoff singles to Parrish and Monck, and the tying runs on Diego Mendoza’s sac fly and a Carrera triple with two outs. Kiger whiffed, and we clinched extra innings from the jaws of just moving to the next ******* town AGAIN. The game ended in the tenth inning with Hood and Parrish doubles with two outs off Steve George’s pelt… 6-5 Loggers. Yocum 2-4, BB; van Otterdijk 2-4, 2B; Brown (PH) 1-1; Flowe 3-5, RBI; Murcia 2-5; Colter 2-5, 2B; Gaytan 7.0 IP, 3 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 4 K;

(clenches fists, growling)

Raccoons (44-53) @ Thunder (52-43) – July 25-27, 2070

The Thunder had lost their last six games, but the Coons were the Coons. Oklahoma ranked fifth in runs scored, fourth in runs allowed, and was up 2-1 in the season series. The only relevant injury was starter Danny Baca, who was out for the season.

Projected matchups:
Val Centeno (0-0) vs. Luis Ramirez (8-6, 4.00 ERA)
Vinny Morales (5-8, 3.39 ERA) vs. Alfredo Picun (8-7, 5.08 ERA)
Jimmy Wharton (6-6, 4.16 ERA) vs. Ken Nielsen (7-6, 3.43 ERA)

The Thunder had two left-handed starters, and the Raccoons would see neither of them.

Game 1
POR: 2B Yocum – LF Otal – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – C Flowe – 3B Gallo – RF Colter – 1B D. Gomez – P Centeno
OCT: CF J. Reyes – SS Palominos – 1B I. Stone – 2B C. Gutierrez – C Bohannon – LF Thore – RF B. Johnston – 3B B. Robinson – P L. Ramirez

Val Centeno’s debut began with Jon Reyes and Jose Palominos hitting groundouts to short before Ian Stone and Carlos Gutierrez hit singles and were left on when Martin Bohannon flew out to center. That didn’t mean it was getting better. Centeno walked Coby Thore on straight balls to begin the bottom 2nd, then allowed singles to the 8-9 hitters Brian Robinson and Luis Ramirez. Thore was thrown out at the plate trying to score on the pitcher’s single, which was all that kept the Thunder off the board, and Reyes grounded out to Yocum. Palominos then got him for a homer in the third inning, and nobody was particularly surprised. The Coons were hitless through three…

There wasn’t a clean inning to be had for Centeno in his debut; he issued another leadoff walk in the fourth, then saw Palominos single and walked ex-Coon Carlos Gutierrez before Bohannon hit into a double play to Katzman to end the bottom 5th. The silly Coons needed 5.2 innings to get a Yocum single entered into the box score, and then promptly left him on first base. Centeno was gone after six busy, messy innings, and the Raccoons’ pen allowed a second run to score in the seventh on three singles given up between Ramirez and Reynolds. Ramirez went seven innings of 2-hit ball, and Jon McGinley and Steve Keller kept the plastic bag firmly pulled over the Critters’ heads and that was the ballgame. 2-0 Thunder. Van Otterdijk (PH) 1-1;

What a team to debut for.

Game 2
POR: 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – C Flowe – LF van Otterdijk – 3B Gallo – 1B Murcia – RF Colter – P Morales
OCT: CF J. Reyes – SS Palominos – 1B I. Stone – 2B C. Gutierrez – C Bohannon – LF Thore – RF Almanza – 3B B. Robinson – P Picun

Tyler Wharton went yard in the first with nobody on base for a quick 1-0 lead, but Vinny Morales crapped out as early as the second inning. He already allowed singles to Stone and Gutierrez in the first, and the third began with the 6-7-8 hitters all on base and Morales looking rather puzzled as to what was going on. Picun tied the game by hitting into a 4-6-3 double play, but Morales remained absolutely ******* useless and walked Reyes, who stole second, and gave up a 2-run single to Palominos, at which point seven of nine Thunder had reached since Stone had first singled. Yocum made an error that put Stone on base, but Gutierrez then grounded out – and in turn a Stone error put Yocum on base in the third inning, but the Raccoons were too polite to get any runs from something like that.

Coby Thore hit a 2-run homer in the bottom 3rd and Morales was purged before the inning was over, Steve George getting the ball for garbage relief. Picun meanwhile loaded the bases with the 3-4-5 batters in brown to begin the fourth inning, but unfortunately that would promote nothing but abject misery to the plate, starting with the .192 hitter J.P. Gallo, who hit a grounder to Gutierrez, but stayed out of the double play as Wharton scored, 5-2. Murcia whiffed, and Jamie Colter – ended Picun’s existence with a 2-out, 3-run homer to right!?

It wasn’t tied for long, since George put Palominos on base to begin the bottom 4th and then got BOMBED by Ian Stone so it was 7-5 Thunder already. Thore singled with two outs, but ran the Thunder out of the inning. George put Brian Robinson and Jon Reyes on the corners through more dumb incompetence in the fifth, but Tyler Wharton caught a Palominos fly and hammered Robinson out at the plate in an 8-2 double play to end that inning. George issued another two walks to begin the sixth and was disposed of while the Thunder found another double play to hit into and not score any more than they were already ******* scoring.

The Raccoons would go on to hit into double plays with Katzman in the seventh and van Otterdijk in the eighth before McMahan got slugged around for three more runs in the bottom of the eighth inning. Steve Hawkins then loaded the bases with just the roster lint in the ninth inning, putting Murcia, Colter, and Brown on base with one out and was removed for Pedro Mendoza as the top of the order came up in the 5-run game. Yocum kept the train moving with a clean RBI single to left, 10-6, and Katz got a ball lifted over the glove of 41-year-old Jim White (not much jump going on there) at short for another RBI single. And then Wharton **** into a 5-4-3 double play. 10-7 Thunder. Yocum 2-5, RBI; T. Wharton 2-4, HR, RBI; van Otterdijk 2-4; Colter 2-4, HR, 3 RBI;

(covers face with paws)

Steve George (0-2, 6.17 ERA) was axed after this dismal performance, although one could easily axe a dozen dismal dumpster divers here.

Besides, all it got us was more of Holzmeister’s dumb face.

Game 3
POR: 2B Yocum – 3B Katzman – CF T. Wharton – RF van Otterdijk – LF Otal – SS Mireles – 1B Colter – C Brown – P J. Wharton
OCT: CF J. Reyes – 1B Bonner – SS Palominos – C Bohannon – LF Thore – RF B. Johnston – 2B C. Gutierrez – 3B B. Robinson – P Nielsen

I knew we were gonna get swept when Coby Thore made a leaping catch over his shoulder on van Otterdijk to strand Katz in scoring position in the first inning, and Jimmyboy promptly – after failing to wave the two Thunder he put on in the first inning across – allowed a leadoff walk to Bryan Johnston, an RBI triple to Gutierrez, and a run-scoring groundout to Robinson in the second inning to get into a 2-0 hole. Katz doubled and was stranded on second again in the third inning, and the Raccoons couldn’t even ******* score when Nielsen beaned van Otterdijk on base to begin the fourth, and right away moved him to second with a wild pitch – and then DIDN’T EVEN GET A STRIKEOUT. Pop, groundout, whiff. And the perpetual noise of a deflating balloon.

Singles by Reyes, who stole his 30th base to get to second, and long-ago brownshirt benchwarmer Ryan Bonner got another run for Oklahoma across in the fifth, while Katz drew a leadoff walk after that. With nobody in scoring position, Big Check Wharton hit a ******* single, then was 6-4-3’ed up by van Otterdijk. Otal orderly grounded out to Gutierrez and nobody ******* scored.

Katz hit into another double play in the eighth and the Coons were 3-0 down in the ninth against Keller, who rung up Wharton to get underway with completing this sweep. Corral then pinch-hit and singled to center, and Otal singled to right and Jim White – who showed up in all possible and impossible places – bobbled the ball for an error, allowing two runners into scoring position. Mireles popped out, of course, and then Flowe batted for Holzmeister in the #7 spot… and struck out. 3-0 Thunder. Katzman 2-3, BB, 2B; Corral (PH) 1-1;

In other news

July 22 – The Miners’ Aussie OF Norm Chapman (.279, 2 HR, 27 RBI) collects five hits with two RBI, a double, and a walkoff triple in the tenth inning to beat the Capitals, 7-6.
July 22 – The Stars acquire INF Brian Hills (.264, 7 HR, 36 RBI) from the Scorpions for the price of a prospect.
July 22 – ATL 1B Kris DiPrimio (.325, 6 HR, 57 RBI) breaks his foot in an on-base collision and will be out until the start of September.
July 25 – Tijuana acquires 2B/3B Matt Kilday (.327, 0 HR, 13 RBI) from Sacramento in exchange for INF Emilio Vidrio (.247, 6 HR, 27 RBI) and a prospect.
July 25 – The Thunder send outfielder Danny Perez (.251, 10 HR, 45 RBI) to the Wolves to get MR Alex Nunez (3-1, 1.88 ERA) and a prospect.
July 27 – The Indians send CL Shamar King (1-5, 3.89 ERA, 18 SV) to the Canadiens for two prospects.
July 27 – The Cyclones deal OF Anthony Schneider (.263, 5 HR, 41 RBI) to the Miners, who happily part with 1B Mike White (.307, 12 HR, 73 RBI), MR Juan Betancourt (0-0, 5.70 ERA), a prospect, and $1M in cash.
July 28 – The Warriors take the Capitals apart, 20-2, and catcher Nick Dingman (.254, 17 HR, 65 RBI) drives in seven of those runs on four hits, including a grand slam. SFW 3B/RF/2B Matt Roller (.321, 4 HR, 38 RBI) hits three doubles and a single and drives in two runs.

Player of the Week (FL): PIT OF Norm Chapman (.290, 3 HR, 34 RBI), hitting .516 (16-31) with 1 HR, 9 RBI
Player of the Week (CL): LVA C/1B Chris Haynes (.307, 24 HR, 69 RBI), batting .417 (10-24) with 4 HR, 10 RBI

Complaints and stuff

(has face in paws)

Tyler Wharton is on pace to drive in 81 runs while hitting .300 with a 142 OPS+. ******* bargain at $111,111 a run!

Todd Sullivan came out of the Alley Cats game on Saturday with a knee injury. I’m sure it’s all gonna be fine.

Everything always comes up roses here, isn’t it? ISN’T IT???

I offered $2M for Jose Espino and OSA’s 19 potential stuff projection on Sunday. That madness would come with a $1.63M tax hammer ON TOP. Steve from Accounting is crying. Semchez thinks I’m somewhere between ridiculous and an imbecile. He might be right.

Another 5-game losing streak and with this we’re sent home to play the Bayhawks and Condors next week. 62 more games until this bloody season ends.

Fun Fact: (cries dramatically onto a piece of paper with squiggles)

As seasons come and seasons go,
Up and down, eternal flow.
The sun will set, the sun will rise,
Dynasties will face demise.
All Stars fade and prospects blossom,
First-place teams will hit rock bottom.
The seasons finish and commence,
But this torment never ends.

[Westheim]

Before we even played another game, the asking price of Jose Espino went to $2.12M, which for the Raccoons would buy now come with a $1.75M tax tag.

Raccoons (44-56) vs. Bayhawks (36-61) – July 29-31, 2070

The two last-place teams in the Continental League’s two division would see who could make their fans suffer the most to finish the month of July. The Coons had won two of three against the Baybirds – worst team in the league by record – so far against the league’s third-worst offense (Coons had just five more runs scored, though) and worst pitching, and their -99 run differential. They had three position players on the DL, including Keith Ball and two “who?”s.

Projected matchups:
Nick Walla (6-8, 4.77 ERA) vs. Liberio Ivo (6-9, 4.64 ERA)
Tony Gaytan (6-9, 3.70 ERA) vs. Aaron Ledbetter (4-10, 3.93 ERA)
Val Centeno (0-1, 1.50 ERA) vs. Ian Lowry (5-6, 5.31 ERA)

We continued to face no southpaws, and so far Lowry’s fortunes hadn’t improved in four starts with San Francisco.

Game 1
SFB: CF Haus – SS Bruce – RF J. Ward – LF Navarre – 1B Whetstine – C H. Valdez – 2B Efird – 3B M. Flores – P Ivo
POR: 2B Yocum – RF Corral – 3B Katzman – CF T. Wharton – C Flowe – LF van Otterdijk – SS Mireles – 1B Gomez – P Walla

There was really not a lot to that Baybirds lineup, but Walla managed to fall behind 1-0 in the first inning by walking Ryan Bruce, who moved up on Jake Ward’s groundout and scored on a 2-out single by Nate Navarre. On the bright paw, Nick Walla then did only allow one more single to Chad Whetstine in the fourth inning on his way through the first five, where we liked to recap the first half of boring and/or forsaken games here; the bad news were that the Coons didn’t do much more than put Yocum on base and strand him there, twice. Dan Gomez reached on an error by Whetstine in the bottom 5th and was bunted to second base by Walla, but now Yocum grounded out to end the inning, and so the Baybirds remained 1-0 up through five. They made it 2-0 in the sixth with a Ward double and another RBI single by Navarre, and while Walla struck out the other three batters in the inning, he did so very inefficiently and was out on pitch count after six frames.

Bottom 6th, and Corral and Katzman – careful here with names, as the Baybirds had a Calvin Katz on the bench – opened with singles. Wharton flew out harmlessly with a runner in scoring position, and then Flowe legged out an infield single to load the bags for the Otter, who flew out deep to center to Brett Haus for a sac fly. Mireles grounded out harmlessly and two runners were stranded. The Coons got singles from Gomez and Jamie Colter to begin the bottom 7th … but Gomez had already been thrown out trying to make it a double on Haus, and Colter was left on base by Yocum and Corral. Gomez then klutzed a 2-out grounder by Whetstine in the eighth to allow Ryan Bruce to score an unearned run, and another player applying for demotion was John Reynolds, who came up against the bottom of the order in the ninth and retired none of the three faces, giving up an infield single to Ray Efird, another infield single to Mario Flores when he misplayed his comebacker, and then walked Mario Lopez to fill them up with nobody out. Ramirez inherited that ******** and struck out three of four Bayhawks, but the one that got away, Bruce, hit a 2-run single. Thankfully a rally was not on the Raccoons’ minds anyway. 5-1 Bayhawks. Katzman 2-4; Murcia (PH) 1-1; Brown (PH) 1-1; Colter (PH) 1-2;

Six in a row.

Losses, that is, just in case you took your pills for the whole week last Tuesday and missed the misery for the last six games.

Dan Gomez (.136, 0 HR, 0 RBI) and John Reynolds (0-1, 7.04 ERA) were sent to the Alley Cats and we replaced them with 21-year-old 1B Danny Huckaby, the #47 pick in the 2066 draft, who was hitting .272 in 39 games in St. Pete, and – (snort) – Pacheco…?

Game 2
SFB: CF Haus – SS Bruce – RF J. Ward – LF Navarre – 1B Whetstine – C H. Valdez – 2B M. Flores – 3B M. Adams – P Lowry
POR: 2B Yocum – RF Corral – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – C Flowe – LF van Otterdijk – 3B Gallo – 1B Huckaby – P Gaytan

The Coons hit into double plays in both of the first two innings, as Corral erased another Yocum single in the first, and in the third Gaytan was batting with the 6-7-8 batters all on base – including Huckaby, who hit a single in his first big-league at-bat – and then dramatically slapped the ball into a 6-4-3 inning-ender. He struck out five in the first three innings, allowing two hits, a walk, and no runs, but the pitch count was already over 50 for him.

Bottom 3rd, and Ian Lowry walked the bags full with the 2-3-4 batters and one out. Flowe cleverly stayed out of the double play by fanning, and van Otterdijk grounded out to short for the same result. Another go at it was had in the fifth with a Yocum single, the runner stealing second, and then Lowry walked the bags full again, giving him six free passes on the day, and this time it brought up Wharton with three on and nobody out. Lowry was out of control and walked in the game’s first run before Big Wharton could do something Big Stupid, and Flowe’s grounder to second just barely went past Mario Flores and scored two more runners. The Otter reloaded the bags with a soft single, and Gallo’s grounder to short rendered van Otterdijk out at second, but scored Wharton from third. A sac fly by Huckaby brought in the fifth and final run of the inning, all on Lowry, who didn’t see the end of it. Katzman then hit a homer with Corral on base off Ricardo Orta in the sixth. The right-hander went on to drill Wharton, who showed a lot of restraint while hollering insults at Orta, who made motions encouraging to come at him, which Wharton thankfully didn’t do and instead stomped to first base, still barking. No more runs came in that inning, but at least Wharton wasn’t goaded into a 57-game suspension.

Gaytan was still unscored upon after eight innings, when it started to rain, and just over 100 pitches. Up 7-0 and facing the left-hander Mark Mills, the Raccoons batted for Katzman and Wharton with Murcia and Otal in the inning, and went down in order. Gaytan did come back out against the 3-4-5 batters for the ninth, and began with a K on Ward, his ninth strikeout in the game. Navarre and Whetstine both grounded out, and Gaytan completed a 4-hit shutout! 7-0 Critters! Yocum 3-5; Katzman 2-2, 2 BB, HR, 2 RBI; T. Wharton 0-1, 2 BB, RBI; van Otterdijk 2-3, BB; Huckaby 2-3, 2B, RBI; Gaytan 9.0 IP, 4 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 9 K, W (7-9);

Gaytan and Yocum were the last two players on the team that were worth getting up for. The former pitched his second career shutout, the other one having come last year, also a 4-hitter in July against a CL South team (the Knights).

Game 3
SFB: CF Haus – SS Bruce – RF J. Ward – LF Navarre – 1B Whetstine – C H. Valdez – 2B M. Flores – 3B M. Adams – P Ledbetter
POR: 2B Yocum – RF Corral – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – C Flowe – 3B Gallo – LF Otal – 1B Huckaby – P Centeno

Yocum’s double and two well-placed groundouts by Corral and Katz gave the Raccoons a 1-0 lead in the first inning, but Centeno got the game tied back up in the second inning, in which the defenders broke the lawn chairs out as in four long counts he walked Navarre, struck out Whetstine, walked Hugo Valdez, and struck out Flores. Mike Adams turned a 1-2 pitch into a 2-out double through Gallo, driving in Navarre, but Otal threw out the catcher Valdez at the plate to end the inning.

Bruce nearly hit a homer in the fourth, but flew out to Wharton on the wharning track before Katzman socked a gap double to begin the bottom 4th. Wharton whiffed, but reached base when the Gold Glover Valdez lost the ball, putting runners on the corners. Flowe lined out to Flores, which didn’t get the go-ahead run across, but Gallo’s sac fly to Ward did the job. Otal singled, but Huckaby ended the inning with a fly to Haus; and Centeno turned it into a 3-2 deficit in the fifth with another leadoff walk to Valdez, Mike Adams’ RBI triple in the rightfield corner, and not getting even one pitch past Ledbetter before the opposing pitcher could give himself the lead with a sac fly to Otal…

Bottom 5th, and Yocum got on once more after Centeno flew out to begin the inning. Corral bashed a homer to right that flipped the score back to Portland, 4-3, while Centeno got one more out from Ward, but allowed singles to Bruce and Navarre and got yanked after 5.1 innings. McMahan faced Whetstine, got the K, and then also the switch-hitting Valdez, who was weak against left-handers, and got him out on a grounder to Katzman. Gallo, hitting under .200, then knocked out Ledbetter with his tenth homer of the season, 5-3, a lead that was then effortlessly blown by Edgar Gutierrez in the seventh, as he allowed singles to Flores and Adams, who was run for by Daniel Aguilar, who stole second, and then both runners scored on Haus’ 1-out single, knotting the score at five. Nava replaced Gutierrez, gave up a 2-run homer to Bruce, and Yocum then ****** Ward’s easy grounder for an error. Ward stole second and scored on a Navarre double off the wall, and Nava was yanked in shame as well, and Pacheco got the last outs in the ******* 5-run inning.

Tyler Wharton came up as the tying run in the bottom 7th after Corral and Katzman hit 1-out singles off lefty Alan Deakin. Big Boy got a single to center and brought home Corral for a weird change, and him and Katzman scurried up into scoring position on Haus’ throw to the plate, where at third base (John) Katz(man) met (Calvin) Katz. The Coons tried their best, with Murcia batting for Flowe and making the second out on a ****** comebacker to Deakin, who walked Gallo, and then the Otter batted for Otal, but struck out in a full count. (noisily slaps paws on his face)

The tying run was at the plate against Mills in the eighth as well when Yocum hit his umpteenth single of the series, but Corral’s drive to left-center was caught by Navarre on the jump. Katzman’s leadoff double to left against Angelo Ramirez put the tying run in the box AGAIN, now with no outs in the bottom 9th. Wharton struck the **** out, and Murcia grounded out to third, none of which was helpful in any way. Sam Brown was batting sixth at this point and kept the game going with a smoked RBI double to right, but van Otterdijk grounded out to Katz. 8-7 Bayhawks. Corral 2-5, HR, 2 RBI; Katzman 3-5, 2 2B, RBI; Gallo 1-2, BB, HR, 2 RBI; Brown 1-1, 2B, RBI; Otal 2-3, 2B;

No words.

Raccoons (45-58) vs. Condors (45-57) – August 1-3, 2070

Another awful team came in, as the Condors were second-worst in runs scored, but average in runs allowed, and had a -61 run differential. They had fewer stolen bases as a team (23) than Adam Yocum (24) had individually. They were a game away from winning the season series, which would be their first taking of said series in an even year since 2044. I had zero hope in turning that one around. Couple of pitchers and outfielder Jeremy Jenkins were on the DL.

Projected matchups:
Vinny Morales (5-8, 3.70 ERA) vs. Jason Brenize (8-6, 2.33 ERA)
Jimmy Wharton (6-7, 4.17 ERA) vs. Ryan Mann (9-8, 3.27 ERA)
Nick Walla (6-9, 4.69 ERA) vs. Bryan Farris (5-5, 4.05 ERA)

Southpaw Sunday! I didn’t even know left-handers existed anymore!!

Game 1
TIJ: 2B M. Roberts – SS M. Moreno – 1B D. Cline – LF Rugar – C M. Watson – RF J. Elliott – 3B C. Vazquez – CF Schreiber – P Brenize
POR: 2B Yocum – RF Corral – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – 3B Gallo – LF Otal – C Brown – 1B Huckaby – P Morales

Vinny Morales’ first pitch of the game was romped 370 feet by Mike Roberts for a leadoff jack, and basically Jason Brenize took it from there. Both teams scattered four hits in five innings without scoring anything beyond the Roberts bomb. Yocum was caught stealing after a leadoff single in the first, and Brenize hit a single himself in the fifth inning with Cory Vazquez on second and two outs, but Vazquez stopped on his own at third base and Roberts then grounded out to keep runners stranded on the corners, much to Brenize’s chagrin. Corral hit a long fly in the sixth that unfortunately was taken by Jake Elliott on the warning track. Wharton began the bottom 7th with a double to center, and then took the tying run to third base on Gallo’s grounder to second. Brenize glared, then struck out Otal for his seventh K in the game, and Sam Brown popped out to short to fritter the chance away for good. Morales struck out six in 7.2 innings before Mario Moreno singled and he was removed for McMahan, who entered in a double switch with Murcia (Gallo left). McMahan struck out David Cline in a full count to end the top 8th. Brenize also went 7.2 innings with 8 K before walking Yocum and Corral and being replaced with lefty Chris Thompson – and that was not the right choice. Katz singled to center, Yocum scored easily, and the game was tied. And Wharton grounded out, of course. The Condors instead won on Corey Vazquez’ ninth-inning, 2-out, 2-run homer off splendidly inept Jason Holzmeister, who had just walked J.D. Johnson on base. 3-1 Condors. Katzman 2-4, RBI; Morales 7.2 IP, 7 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 6 K;

Game 2
TIJ: 2B M. Roberts – SS M. Moreno – 1B D. Cline – LF Rugar – RF J. Elliott – C R. Alvarez – 3B C. Vazquez – CF Schreiber – P Mann
POR: 2B Yocum – RF Corral – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – C Flowe – LF Otal – 3B Murcia – 1B Huckaby – P J. Wharton

The Raccoons had the bases loaded as early as the first inning thanks to Corral and Katz singles and Roberts misfiling a Big Wharton grounder for an error. Flowe lined out, but Otal stuffed a 2-run single past Vazquez for an early lead before Murcia flew out to Josh Rugar. The Coons also wasted a Huckaby double to begin the bottom 2nd, and Jimmyboy ran two full-count walks against Robert Alvarez and Vazquez in the top of that inning to explode his pitch count to *46* after just two scoreless frames… He added another full-count walk to Rugar in the third, with Roberts on third base after a leadoff double, but Elliott popped out to Huckaby to keep the tying runs on base. A throwing error by Roberts, who did not have a good day at all in the field, put Huckaby on second base to start the bottom 4th *again*, and the Raccoons STRANDED HIM *AGAIN*…!! (angrily chews on Capt’n Coma bottle)

Jimmyboy pitched six shutout innings of 2-hit ball, but four walks and eight strikeouts meant that his pitch count had long been blown to Kingdom Come and he was out of the game. The 2-0 score was soon sabotaged by Pacheco, who issued a leadoff walk to Vazquez and a wild pitch in the seventh, and gave up the run on a sac fly by Mann, 2-1. Nava replaced him with two outs, and nearly got taken deep by Roberts, but Corral picked the ball at the wall… But there was no picking Mario Moreno’s 432-footer that led off the eighth, and that lead was finally toast.

Bottom 8th, southpaw David Carlson pitching. Otal grounded out, but Murcia and Huckaby took to the corners with singles. Van Otterdijk pinch-hit for Nava and hit a sac fly to center, which at this stage had to count as rousing success. Yocum doubled and Corral walked to fill the bags for Katz, but the only tack-on run came on a wild pitch by Carlson before Katz grounded out, and the 4-2 lead then went to Valentin, who put the lid on. 4-2 Coons. Katzman 3-5; Flowe 2-4; Otal 2-4, 2 RBI; Huckaby 2-4, 2B; J. Wharton 6.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 4 BB, 8 K;

Game 3
TIJ: 2B M. Roberts – SS M. Moreno – 1B D. Cline – LF Rugar – C M. Watson – RF J. Elliott – 3B C. Vazquez – CF Schreiber – P Farris
POR: 2B Yocum – SS Mireles – 3B Katzman – CF T. Wharton – RF Corral – 1B Murcia – C Flowe – LF van Otterdijk – P Walla

*Yocum* hit a leadoff jack in the first inning, his second home run on the season, and Josh Mireles added another solo blast four pitches later, giving Walla a 2-0 lead after three groundouts in the top of the first. It took the Coons until the fourth to get a non-homer hit, when Wharton hit a leadoff single, and he was of course stranded. Walla was on four innings of 1-hit ball at that point, whiffing three. Chris Schreiber hit a single to center in the fifth, but was then doubled off when Farris took a swing, ending the top of the fifth. The Coons were in scoring position again with one out in the bottom 5th with a Walla-banger to left – okay the ball only got to the track on four bounces, and the “banger” was Rugar touching the wall with his off-hand, but it was a double alright! And he was also stranded in scoring position as Yocum grounded out and Mireles popped out.

Walla kept going, allowing a single to Cline in the sixth and then walked Rugar in the seventh, but these runners also were stranded even before getting to third base. Johnson and Roberts grounded out in the eighth before Moreno held out for a walk. Walla talked himself into facing David Cline with the pitching coach and got a first-pitch bouncer to Yocum for the third out. But the score was still 2-0 and we were VERY hesitant of him facing the 4-5-6 batters in the ninth. Katz led off the bottom 8th with a double to center off Carlson, who was then made to intentionally walk Wharton, who had a raging 3 RBI in his last 48 at-bats. Corral whiffed, Murcia hit into a fielder’s choice at second, and then Otal batted for Flowe just to throw something else up there (there was no right-handed bat on the bench) but lined out to Moreno.

And the stupid Coons sent Walla back out for the ninth, now with a new catcher and leftfielder (Otal stayed in for D). Rugar was down 1-2, then hit a high fly to left that came down in Otal’s glove on the edge of the warning track. Mitch Watson singled to right. The pitcher’s spot was up next and .154 hitter Salvatore Romano batted and was rung up on three pitches by Walla. Vazquez was a left-handed batter, but the Raccoons were that dumb and kept Walla in the game. Wild pitch! Watson went to second, but the next pitch was slapped at Yocum by Vazquez and that one ended the game…! 2-0 Furballs! Walla 9.0 IP, 4 H, 0 R, 3 BB, 5 K, W (7-9) and 1-2, 2B;

In other news

July 28 – The Indians send 1B Miguel Medina (.309, 0 HR, 10 RBI) to the Buffaloes for outfielder Wade Griffith (.245, 4 HR, 31 RBI) and a prospect.
July 29 – Thunder OF Coby Thore (.243, 1 HR, 28 RBI) would miss a month with a nagging case of shoulder soreness.
July 30 – The Condors send INF/RF Danny Rodriguez (.219, 6 HR, 18 RBI) to L.A. for a prospect.
July 30 – The Cyclones beat the Warriors, 7-6, on a walkoff double by INF A.J. Taylor (.227, 8 HR, 35 RBI) after initially blowing a 5-run lead in the top of the ninth inning.
August 1 – Miners OF Norm Chapman (.290, 3 HR, 34 RBI) opens the game against the Scorpions with a single and scores in the course of the first inning. It’s the only run in a 1-0 Miners win, and it also extends a hitting streak for Chapman to 20 games.
August 2 – Ironically, Norm Chapman’s (.287, 3 HR, 34 RBI) hitting streak dies in an 11-6 scorefest that goes Sacramento’s way. Chapman goes 0-for-4 in the game.
August 2 – CHA 1B Andy Metz (.292, 14 HR, 55 RBI) hits a home run in a 6-1 loss to the Loggers, which is the only Falcons hit in a combined 1-hitter for MIL SP Curt Green (7-3, 3.87 ERA) and MR Jorge Quinones (1-0, 1.06 ERA, 2 SV).
August 2 – The Wolves beat the Cyclones, 1-0, when CIN CL Ben Dickson (8-6, 4.61 ERA, 30 SV) walks Salem’s Jesus Garza (.291, 6 HR, 43 RBI) on nine pitches and with the bases loaded in the bottom of the ninth.
August 3 – Just 18 games into his Canadiens tenure, 2B Andy Ratliff (.300, 2 HR, 35 RBI) suffers a torn labrum and will miss the rest of the season.

Player of the Week (FL): WAS LF/RF Ian Streng (.275, 9 HR, 45 RBI), slapping .429 (12-28) with 2 HR, 4 RBI
Player of the Week (CL): MIL C Manuel Rodriguez (.320, 24 HR, 82 RBI), raking .474 (9-19) with 4 HR, 11 RBI

FL Hitter of the Month: LAP LF/RF John Miller (.297, 15 HR, 56 RBI), hitting .371 with 5 HR, 16 RBI
CL Hitter of the Month: MIL RF/LF Carlos Dominguez (.381, 13 HR, 83 RBI), blasting .443 with 5 HR, 33 RBI
FL Pitcher of the Month: WAS SP Josh Jackson (7-4, 2.83 ERA), going 4-1 with a 1.58 ERA, 16 K
CL Pitcher of the Month: MIL CL B.J. Butrico (6-5, 2.73 ERA, 24 SV), saving 8 games with a 4-0 record, 1.23 ERA, 8 K
FL Rookie of the Month: DAL 2B Chris McNulty (.266, 7 HR, 33 RBI), hitting .348 with 2 HR, 11 RBI
CL Rookie of the Month: ATL OF David Mendoza (.290, 17 HR, 72 RBI), bashing .330 with 3 HR, 18 RBI

Complaints and stuff

The Raccoons signed Jose Espino for $2.12M and a $1.75M tax hammer this week. Celebrations broke out in his hometown of Quisqueya, where over night all the potholes and broken streetlights were fixed thanks to a sudden influx of funds, and they’d get running warm water next month! Again, Semchez regards him well, but not as well as OSA, throwing out a 19/13/19 potential for him. He’ll be in the international complex at least until next summer and then we’ll see whether he gets to go to Aumsville in the second half of ’71. Espino is by far the most stupidest acquisition in the international free agent extravaganza and by stupid I mean expensive, so far. He can pay off those $3.87M with Pitcher of the Year awards.

We didn’t go into it and the profile below doesn’t include it, but he’s even a bit of a contact hitter, so he might be able to help himself get wins. I mention it now, because Jonny Toner batted sixth at times, and we might be going back there with this whooping cough of a team.

Looks like I successfully spent $67.9M on a $66M budget. Don’t you worry, there’s enough left in Maud’s cashbox to get kibble for the rest of the season. We might have to slim down on the donuts, though. – (Otal, Otter, and Flowe all look up from their food bowls mid-munch at once, shriek, and gallop out of the office, bits of half-eaten kibble flying everywhere) – Slappy, are you gonna clean that up? – I thought so.

Nick Walla turned in his fifth career shutout on Sunday, a nice break from all the SUCKING his starts contained this year. It was his tenth complete game, the second this year (as well as his only shutout this year).

But RIP we-beat-the-Condors-every-even-year.

Katz batted .542 (13-24) with three doubles this week, but only one homer and four RBI, so drew the short twig compared to the Loggers’ Rodriguez for Player of the Week. Katz struck out only once. Wharton has 8 K since his last homer.

Four-city road trip coming up as we’ll tingle through Atlanta, Boston, New York, and Dallas. No off day until the 14th, either, so we’ll spot the regulars some off days in Atlanta. Maybe we’ll just tank Centeno’s start on Tuesday. Rook’s gonna wear it.

Fun Fact: Before tax, Val Centeno merely cost $450k as international free agent.

And he blew out his arm for free! Guy is 23 years old and has already had three elbow injuries, doing nothing after getting signed in 2065 because of ulnar nerve irritation. He then missed two months with elbow soreness the year after and finally flayed his UCL last May.

Centeno was signed in another year where we went well over the soft cap and bled penalty tax. The same summer we also signed SP Crispino D’Urso for $590k, SP Alex Molina for $400k, outfielder Eddy Valdez for $112k, and a couple of lesser talents for just $40k more. In total, the shebang cost us (including tax) $2,352,000 back then.

For that we have gotten two big league starts out of Centeno so far, while the other four players signed in that IFA period are currently all in Ham Lake: between starting pitchers “Crispy Bear” D’Urso and Molina, the latter arrived there first, but is now stagnating, while D’Urso got to Aumsville early and then was in hell there for 3 1/2 years and only progressed to Ham Lake last September. This year he’s 7-8 with a 3.71 ERA there, and Semchez is reasonably fond of him. He just turned 21 in June, so it’s not too late for him.

Eddy Valdez is also in Ham Lake, where he’s struggling to bat anywhere near league average for 272 games and counting. The previously unnamed catcher that was signed for $40k was Jose Laboy, more of a defensive specialist behind the dish, and consequently not batting much at all either.

If you assign the tax to individual players as their share of the total signing bonuses doled out, Val Centeno cost us $664,842 – including $214,842 in tax. Jose Espino cost $3,521,587 to sign, including $1,401,587 in tax.

Yes, Maud, I can hear that the phone is ringing angrily. I just choose to ignore it.

[Westheim]

Raccoons (47-59) @ Knights (71-32) – August 4-6, 2070

After barely coming out even against the two worst teams in the South, the Raccoons got to play the CL’s best offense AND pitching AND +198 run differential, and that outfit was on a 7-game winning streak, and had yet to lose a game against the Critters this year. RIP bozos – with or without Adam Lunn, A.C. Stebbins, Justin Hart, and Kris DiPrimio, these Knights were three sizes too big for the Brownshirts.

Projected matchups:
Tony Gaytan (7-9, 3.47 ERA) vs. Evan Alvey (3-0, 2.73 ERA)
Val Centeno (0-1, 3.18 ERA) vs. Rob Wilkinson (9-2, 3.49 ERA)
Vinny Morales (5-8, 3.54 ERA) vs. Brett Bebout (10-5, 3.97 ERA)

Former Raccoon Evan Alvey was making a spot start to open the series, and was also the only left-handed pitcher we saw coming in this series and probably week.

Game 1
POR: 2B Yocum – SS Mireles – 3B Katzman – CF T. Wharton – RF Corral – 1B Murcia – LF van Otterdijk – C Brown – P Gaytan
ATL: CF Jo. Soto – SS Guangorena – RF D. Mendoza – LF Troxel – 3B Schomer – 2B J. Munoz – 1B Mower – C L. Marquez – P Alvey

Yocum and Mireles singled and Katz raked a 3-run homer to begin the week, which was entirely not what we had expected, but Tony Gaytan had the Knights’ backs and gave up a first-pitch homer to Jorge Soto in the first, nearly a homer to Jon Schomer in the second, and then an actual homer to Lorenzo Marquez – an entire battery of ex-Coons – in the third inning. That narrowed the lead to 3-2, and it was blown for good on Tomas Guangorena’s 2-out double to left and David Mendoza’s RBI single, also to left, before the third inning was out.

Murcia, the Otter, and Gaytan then loaded the bases with three singles and one out in the fourth inning against the struggling Alvey. Yocum’s sac fly was all the Raccoons could scratch out for runs, but Marquez doubled home Jon Schomer and Jorge Munoz in the same inning to flip the score to the Knights, 5-4. Alvey was hit for in the inning, and Gaytan was knocked off the hill on Tom Troxel’s 2-out double in the fifth. Victor Ramirez then pitched the rest of the game, which turned out to be only the last out of this inning and the sixth, since then thunder clapped and lightning struck and everybody was shooed into the clubhouse. The storm lasted the rest of the day and night, and the umpires called the game at 11 at night. I had no arguments for why they should warm up the leftovers on Tuesday, either. 5-4 Knights. Yocum 1-2, RBI; Katzman 2-3, HR, 3 RBI;

Gaytan had of course been our only real hope to scratch a W in this series and we were now tumbling towards an 0-9 campaign against the Knights.

As expected, the core of the lineup hugged the bench on Tuesday. Val Centeno’s face screamed betrayal, but he had to show that he had the stuff to win (or stuff at all) first.

Game 2
POR: CF Otal – 2B Mireles – LF van Otterdijk – C Flowe – SS Murcia – 3B Gallo – 1B Huckaby – RF Colter – P Centeno
ATL: CF Jo. Soto – SS Guangorena – RF D. Mendoza – 3B Schomer – 2B J. Munoz – 1B Mower – LF Valencia – C L. Marquez – P Wilkinson

Atlanta took the lead three batters into their turns at-bat when Centeno walked Jorge Soto on four pitches and had a lazy fastball *obliterated* by David Mendoza, which made it 2-0 – but J.P. Gallo tied the game in the second inning with a homer of his own, following a double to left by Rafael Murcia. The ecstasy didn’t last long, since Centeno leaked another leadoff walk to Phil Mower and then gave up another 2-piece to Marquez in the bottom 2nd. Down 4-2, Portland’s 3-4-5 hit straight singles to load the bases for Gallo with one out in the third inning, but this time the flawed slugger whiffed, and Danny Huckaby grounded out to first.

Centeno bled another two runs through incompetence in the third inning, then hit a single and was driven in by Mireles in the fourth, got outs from the Atlanta batters in the bottom 4th, but was yanked when Soto hit another single. Gutierrez cleaned up behind him and got four outs in total and gave up another run in the bottom 5th, 7-3, before the top 6th saw Colter draw a 1-out walk from Atlanta’s Brian McLaughlin. Tyler Wharton batted for Gutierrez and singled, as did Otal, and the bases were filled again. Mireles hit a sharp grounder at Schomer, who threw poorly to second base and pulled Guangorena off the bag for an error, while a run scored. A strikeout on van Otterdijk and Flowe’s groundout ended the inning, though.

Top 8th, and it was Yocum’s turn to come off the bench and bat. He went back to the bench real fast, but did a 360-foot lap around the bases with a double and Otal’s RBI single on consecutive pitches by Tim Cropp, narrowing the score to 7-5 with one out in the eighth. Otal stole second, but was ultimately stranded with poor outs by Mireles and van Otterdijk. The Knights then rioted for three runs off Danny Nava, who allowed a single to Valencia, nailed Marquez, and gave up an RBI double to Dennis Wright. The remaining runners scored on the 1-2 batters’ productive outs. The Coons scored another run off Nick Walker in the ninth when Murcia and Gallo went to the corners and Murcia scored on Huckaby’s groundout, but that was as good as it got. 10-6 Knights. Otal 2-5, RBI; Murcia 3-5, 2 2B; Gallo 2-5, HR, 2 RBI; T. Wharton (PH) 1-1; Yocum (PH) 1-1, 2B; Holzmeister 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 0 K;

John Katzman did not appear in this game, but that preserved a 9-game hitting streak for tomorrow. Yocum meanwhile rejecting the concept of babying and extended his hitting streak to eight games.

Game 3
POR: 2B Yocum – RF Corral – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – LF Otal – 3B Gallo – C Flowe – 1B Huckaby – P Morales
ATL: CF Jo. Soto – SS Guangorena – RF D. Mendoza – LF Troxel – 3B Schomer – 2B J. Munoz – 1B Mower – C L. Marquez – P Bebout

Tyler Wharton drove in a run (!) in the first inning when he hit a 2-out single to get Yocum and his leadoff double in to score, and then an Otal single and Gallo getting nicked by Bebout loaded the bases, only for Flowe to pop out to Munoz at second. Vinny Morales gave up three singles, but also got two double plays in the first two innings, with Mendoza and Mower kind enough to clean up their own team’s litter. Instead, the Raccoons tacked on (!?) with a Katz single and Wharton’s 17th homer (!!) of the season in the top of the third, 3-0. Morales responded by walking Soto and Guangorena and giving up a long fly to left to Mendoza with two outs in the bottom 3rd, but Otal made the catch on the warning track to end the inning.

Jorge Munoz left with an injury on a defensive play in the fourth inning and Dennis Wright took over the keystone, and then punched out with Schomer on base right away in the bottom of the inning. The Coons threatened again in the fifth as Katz and Wharton knocked 2-out singles, and then Otal turned a 1-2 pitch around for an RBI double to right. Gallo socked a triple over the head of Soto to extend the score to 6-0 and send Bebout to bed, at which point I sincerely wondered how the universe would inside-out itself to give the Knights the W this time around. Jason Bair grounded Flowe out to end the top 5th, and the Coons also stranded another runner in each of the next two innings, but Morales was still lining up zeroes… although his pitch count was elevated as usual; through six innings he was already at 84 pitches, and he wasn’t good for more than 100. Wright’s leadoff double to right, Mower’s groundout, and Marquez’ sac fly got the Knights on the board in the bottom 7th, and John Baxley hit another single before Soto went out in a full count – and that would be it for Morales.

The Raccoons went in order in the eighth while Ramirez gave up a leadoff double to Guangorena in the bottom 8th, but then struck out Mendoza and Troxel and stranded the runner on base with another out made by Schomer. Katz tacked on a run with a sac fly that scored Yocum in the ninth inning, while Pacheco got the bottom of the order in the ninth inning with a 6-run lead. Wright homered on his first pitch and he allowed a hit to Marquez and walked Soto before being yanked with one out remaining, which Gutierrez also couldn’t get, walking Guangorena to fill the bases. Valentin had to come in and pop out Mendoza on the very next pitch to end the game and earn a cheap save. 7-2 Coons. Yocum 2-4, BB, 2 2B; Katzman 2-4, RBI; T. Wharton 4-5, HR, 3 RBI; Otal 2-5, 2B, RBI; Morales 7.0 IP, 7 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 5 K, W (6-8);

Raccoons (48-61) @ Titans (52-55) – August 7-10, 2070

Boston was up 4-3 in the season series, but had a -14 run differential on the third-worst pitching and just average offense. They led the league in homers, which was always nice without staff around, but barely matched Yocum for stolen bases as a team, and they had the worst defense in the land.

Projected matchups:
Jimmy Wharton (6-7, 3.97 ERA) vs. Aiden Shaw (4-6, 4.73 ERA)
Nick Walla (7-9, 4.36 ERA) vs. Adam McDonald (9-8, 4.09 ERA)
Tony Gaytan (7-10, 3.66 ERA) vs. Matt Nelson (5-7, 4.90 ERA)
Val Centeno (0-2, 6.00 ERA) vs. Mike Bell (10-5, 3.31 ERA)

Only right-handers coming up here.

Game 1
POR: 2B Yocum – RF Corral – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – LF Otal – 3B Gallo – C Flowe – 1B Huckaby – P J. Wharton
BOS: SS E. Gonzales – CF Marcotte – 1B Goodwin – RF M. Garcia – 3B D. Miller – C D. Johnson – 2B Robichaud – LF Grulke – P Shaw

The Raccoons shanked Shaw for three runs (one earned) in the first inning, all of which began with an Edgar Gonzales error on Yocum’s grounder to short. Katzman hit a homer, Big Wharton walked, and then scored on Otal and Flowe singles before Huckaby ended the inning with a groundout. Jimmy Wharton then reacted entirely reasonably and nailed Gonzales to begin the bottom 1st and immediately walked the bases full before getting yelled at by the pitching coach. It just didn’t help a lot. Manuel Garcia, David Johnson, and Shaw each drove in two runs in the inning, which just didn’t want to ever end as the Coons’ tosser gave up four hits, two walks, the hit batter, and six ******* runs. Wharton continued into the bottom 3rd, allowed two singles, and was yanked. Pacheco replaced him, plated a run with a wild pitch immediately, then walked Kyle Grulke. Shaw bunted, Gonzales singled home two, Eddie Marcotte walked, Curt Goodwin singled home two, and then Pacheco filled the bases with more walks and was yanked as well. Victor Ramirez struck out David Johnson and Jared Robichaud to end the ******* inning.

With that, the Raccoons were in the damage control zone – nobody cared for Jose Corral’s sac fly in the fourth that narrowed the score to 11-4, except maybe Aiden Shaw and his mother. Get through the bloody game, somehow. Ramirez pitched five outs, and then Holzmeister threw two scoreless innings on 14 pitches, which motivated us to send him out for another inning, in which he got battered for a 3-run homer by Danny Miller on another 32 pitches. McMahan did a 1-2-3 eighth. Aiden Shaw meanwhile gave up *14* base hits in 8.1 innings before being knocked out by consecutive RBI singles by Big Wharton (driving in Corral and his leadoff double) and Otal. The game then ended with Mike Rocheford getting a double play grounder from Mireles. 14-6 Titans. Yocum 2-5; T. Wharton 2-4, BB, RBI; Otal 5-5, RBI;

Blech.

Antonio Pacheco (1-0, 8.38 ERA) got axed. Who needs left-handers anyway? We brought up Todd Sullivan, the trade acquisition from the Stars, who had made seven scoreless appearances with the Alley Cats and would now wear his fourth different hat this year.

Game 2
POR: 2B Yocum – LF Otal – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – RF Corral – 3B Murcia – C Brown – 1B Colter – P Walla
BOS: SS E. Gonzales – CF Marcotte – C D. Johnson – RF M. Garcia – 2B Robichaud – 1B Goodwin – 3B D. Miller – LF Padgett – P McDonald

Walla came off a shutout, so hopes were less dim than usual that he could give us a good one, and he had a few shutout innings to start the game… you just had to be a bit lenient and not chew around too much on the fact that the Titans made a significant number of outs themselves, like Gonzales being caught stealing on a bad jump and Goodwin being tagged out on a double after overrunning second base. The Coons had no hits the first time through the order, but twice had the leadoff man on base with an error. Corral was left on in the top 2nd, and Wharton jiggered to third base on Corral’s double that followed an error by Miller, putting a pair in scoring position with nobody out. Murcia struck out. Brown struck out. And then the Titans pitched to Colter, who hit a 2-run double to center in a full count. Walla made the third out, nearly gave up a homer to Johnson in the bottom 4th, walked Robichaud to begin the bottom 5th – but picked him off after Goodwin popped out!

While Walla got around a leadoff single by Cody Padgett in the sixth, Yocum extended his 10-game hitting streak in style when he tripled home Colter with two outs in the seventh, extending the score to 3-0. McDonald gave up an RBI double to Otal, got lifted for Jose Gomez, but the right-hander walked Katz and then gave up an RBI single to Wharton. Corral hit a ball to deep right, but just for a long F9 to end the inning, and the ball went back to Walla after the stretch, who was on 75 pitches through six busy innings, then gave up two leadoff singles in the bottom 7th to Johnson and Manuel Garcia, but Robichaud hit into a double play… but then he nicked Goodwin with a 2-2 pitch and gave up consecutive RBI singles to Miller and Padgett and was hooked for Nava, who rung up PH Justin Beck to stop the bleeding at 5-2.

When the Coons’ 6-7-8 batters made straight outs in the eighth, Nava was not hit for and thus returned to the hill in the bottom 8th. Gonzales singled, Marcotte walked, and Johnson knotted the score with a 3-run homer. He gave up a ground-rule double to Garcia, then was also tossed into the darkest dungeon anywhere near – wasn’t too hard to find a dark piss-stained hole in Boston – and Todd Sullivan got three straight outs and kept the go-ahead run on base on his way out of the inning. But the Coons did nothing of value to Tyler Gleason in the top of the ninth and then Gutierrez and his useless Mexican pelt got the ball for the bottom 9th. He walked the leadoff man Grulke on four straight pitches, then gave up singles to Tommy Pritchard and Gonzales to fill the bags with nobody out, and Marcotte was next. In other words, ballga-… Marcotte whiffed. Johnson hit a grounder on 0-2 that Katz fired home to get Grulke, and then Garcia popped out in a full count, sending the game to extras.

Both pitchers from the ninth got outs in order in the tenth inning, after which Joe Cash, another lefty, entered for Boston. Sam Brown hit a leadoff single up the middle before Gallo pinch-hit and whiffed, and then Mireles pinch-hit for Gutierrez, legged out an infield single on a bang-bang play at the plate, and also threw his back out and crawled off the field. Huckaby ran for him. A walk to Yocum filled the bases with one out, and Otal’s fly to left was … barely good for a sac fly. Katz struck out, ending his hitting streak, and Valentin gave up a leadoff single to Grulke, then another single with one out to Gonzales in the bottom of the 11th. Marcotte grounded out to short, moving up the tying and go-ahead runs, but Johnson popped out to Brown in foul ground to end the bloody ballgame. 6-5 Raccoons. Otal 2-5, 2B, 2 RBI; Corral 2-4, 2B; Colter 2-4, 2B, 2 RBI; Mireles (PH) 1-1; Walla 6.2 IP, 7 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 1 BB, 3 K; Gutierrez 2.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 1 K, W (2-1);

Mireles was day-to-day for the time being with the back issue and remained on the roster.

Game 3
POR: 2B Yocum – LF Otal – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – RF Corral – C Flowe – 3B Gallo – 1B Colter – P Gaytan
BOS: LF Grulke – CF Marcotte – C D. Johnson – 1B M. Garcia – 2B Jer. White – 3B D. Miller – SS Robichaud – RF T. Pritchard – P M. Nelson

It looked a lot like rain on Saturday and the Coons didn’t score from a 2-base throwing error by Johnson that put Otal on base in the first inning, so there was that. Gaytan then couldn’t get anybody out and got beaten around for a two runs on three hits (a lot with two strikes) and a walk in the first inning, and I was begging the baseball gods for the rest of the season to be cancelled once again. Gaytan drove in Flowe with a 2-out single in the top 2nd, but then allowed another single to Pritchard, who was forced out on Nelson’s bad bunt, nailed Marcotte with two outs, and then Corral dropped Johnson’s ******* fly to right for a 2-out, run-scoring error. Garcia flew one over to Otal in left, who successfully put the ******* clamps on it. There was a 20-minute rain delay after that second inning, both teams frittered away two singles in the third, and Gaytan put another two runners on base in the fourth and was yanked. Johnson hit into a double play against Nava, just like the previous inning had ended on a double play hit into by Pritchard.

Nelson was still in the game in the sixth trying to nurse his 3-1 lead when he issued 2-out walks to Flowe and Gallo, then a single to Colter. Bags full, van Otterdijk batted for Nava, struck out, and I just loathed the basic concept of existing. Instead Pritchard singled and Gonzales pinch-hit for Nelson and an RBI double in the bottom 6th. Another run scored against Holzmeister in the seventh, this one also unearned, as now Otal botched a catch on a 2-out fly with a runner in scoring position. Ramirez then got churned for a 3-run homer by Johnson in the eighth. Katz and Wharton hit meaningless 2-out RBI knocks in the ninth, as if that was gonna change anything. 8-3 Titans. Murcia (PH) 1-1; Katzman 2-4, BB, 2B, RBI; T. Wharton 3-5, BB, RBI; Colter 1-2, BB;

******* useless, all of them.

Game 4
POR: 2B Yocum – LF Otal – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – RF van Otterdijk – 3B Murcia – C Brown – 1B Huckaby – P Centeno
BOS: SS E. Gonzales – LF Grulke – 1B M. Garcia – 2B Jer. White – CF Holland – C Goatley – 3B Robichaud – RF Padgett – P M. Bell

The game began with a Robichaud error, and Yocum was joined on base by Otal and Wharton on soft singles, and all of them were left stranded with Bell’s K on van Otterdijk and Murcia’s lame fly out to Padgett. Grulke’s single, a walk to Garcia, and Jeremy White’s RBI single then put Boston up 1-0 before Mike Holland and Matt Goatley (seriously, who?) both popped out. Robichaud and Padgett then began the second inning with outs on the Boston side before Bell singled off Centeno, who gave up another three singles and two runs in celebration before White flew out to Otal…

The game then trundled along for another three innings without scoring, or even the threat of a runner in scoring position on the brown team, before Boston skipped a heartbeat or two when, 5.1 innings into the game, Mike Bell left it with the Titans’ trainer and pitching coach looking just as depressed as him. Ancient Tyler Riddle replaced him and got five outs, even though another error put van Otterdijk on second base with nobody out in the seventh. The Coons’ 6-7-8 batters would not move him an inch for the rest of the inning. Centeno somehow failed his way through seven innings while abusing the defense, but didn’t allow any more runs than the Titans had gotten in the first two rancid innings. Corral pinch-hit for him to lead off the eighth and both him and Yocum hit soft singles off Mike Rocheford. Travis Davis got Otal out, then yielded for right-hander Edgar Cornejo. Katz socked an RBI double to right, putting the tying runs in scoring position for Wharton, who bashed a double up the leftfield line on the very next pitch, and the game was suddenly tied. The Otter popped out, but Rafael Murcia hit a ball into the gap for a 2-out, go-ahead, RBI triple. The Titans went to Gleason, who gave up an RBI single to Brown, another single to Huckaby, and finally struck out Corral, who had begun the out-of-place, 5-run rally. With Nava unavailable, Sullivan turned away the Titans in the bottom 8th to set it up for Valentin, who struck out the 6-7-8 batters to get Val Centeno’s first career W over the line. 5-3 Critters. Yocum 2-5; Katzman 2-5, 2B, RBI; T. Wharton 2-4, 2B, 2 RBI; Corral (PH) 1-2;

In other news

August 4 – The Pacifics beat the Cyclones, 4-3 in 15 innings.
August 6 – TIJ SP Jason Brenize (9-6, 2.34 ERA) wins his 200th ABL game by beating the Canadiens, 6-3. The 8-time Pitcher of the Year goes 7.1 innings in his 21st start of the season.
August 6 – SFW INF Jared Duhe (.281, 7 HR, 50 RBI) draws a bases-loaded walk for the only marker on the board in the Warriors’ 1-0 win against the Miners. Warriors SP Alex Diez (11-3, 2.10 ERA) pitches a 5-hit shutout.
August 8 – Rebels UT Travis Bickerton (.307, 5 HR, 33 RBI) could be out for six weeks after breaking his thumb.
August 8 – A home run by ATL OF David Mendoza (.290, 21 HR, 80 RBI) beats the Condors, 1-0.
August 9 – Thunder 1B Ian Stone (.277, 23 HR, 63 RBI) drives in six runs with two homers and a sac fly in an 8-3 win against the Bayhawks.
August 10 – NAS 1B Orlando Reyes (.275, 7 HR, 28 RBI) has himself a day in a 14-1 rout of the Buffaloes, landing five hits, two homers, a double, and four RBI.
August 10 – The season of OCT 2B/SS Jose Palominos (.302, 17 HR, 56 RBI) ends owing to a torn labrum.

Player of the Week (FL): SAL OF Chris Bauer (.344, 11 HR, 61 RBI), hitting .565 (13-23) with 1 HR, 8 RBI
Player of the Week (CL): POR CF Tyler Wharton (.307, 17 HR, 60 RBI), sticking .500 (13-26) with 1 HR, 8 RBI

Complaints and stuff

Tyler Wharton won Player of the Week (‘bout time) and Val Centeno won his first game over Mike Bell’s dead body and the Titans’ own bullpen inflagration.

Congratulations to the pitching staff, they’re currently pissing me off harder than the position players. That’s taken you some effort and commitment, huh!?

Not a lot to say. The string is long, the string is sad. The string leads directly to New York now for three games, a day off in transit, and a stopover in Dallas on the way home, although we’d only be in Portland for three days against the Miners before leaving again for an Indy/Milwaukee road trip.

Fun Fact: Jason Brenize is so gonna be in the Hall of Fame.

Ignore the eight Pitcher of the Year awards (and he’s at least competing for a ninth this year). He is 200-105 with a 2.60 ERA in 2,811 innings, striking out 2,809 batters. The guy at age 33 has already won three triple crowns (2062, 2066, 2069), and led the league, combined, more often in wins, ERA, strikeouts, WHIP, and WAR than all other CL pitchers combined in the 2060s: six times he led in wins, five times in ERA, eight times in strikeouts, five times in WHIP, and eight times in WAR.

Hell, they’re gonna name the entire Hall of Fame after him, won’t they??

[Westheim]

Raccoons (50-63) @ Crrusaders (49-62) – August 11-13, 2070

Last place playoffs, with the Raccoons being up 7-5 on New York this year. The Crusaders were the worst scoring team in the CL (although we’re always ready to lend a paw) and ranked fifth in runs allowed. Their run differential was -70. What they did have was speed and the third-most stolen bases, and also the second-best rated defense. Regulars Bryant Box and Willie Ospina were on the DL, as were pitchers Russell Anderson and Nick Ellis.

Projected matchups:
Vinny Morales (6-8, 3.43 ERA) vs. Nick Robinson (3-2, 3.14 ERA)
Jimmy Wharton (6-8, 4.47 ERA) vs. Jarod Nesbit (6-14, 4.57 ERA)
Nick Walla (7-9, 4.28 ERA) vs. Colt Long (6-6, 4.01 ERA)

Robinson and Long were left-handers, with the 41-year-old former Critter taking the starting assignment for the third time this season in the opener.

Game 1
POR: 2B Yocum – SS Mireles – 3B Katzman – CF T. Wharton – RF Corral – 1B Murcia – LF van Otterdijk – C Flowe – P Morales
NYC: SS Roza – C Marty – RF J. Acuna – CF B. Davidson – 3B Reber – LF Griffin – 2B J. King – 1B Nakamura – P N. Robinson

The weather was iffy, but at least the Raccoons took a 1-0 lead on straight singles by their 2-through-5 hitters in the first inning, and then Murcia whiffed and van Otterdijk grounded out. Morales gave up just one hit in the first inning, but it was an RBI double to Javier Acuna, plating Ryan Marty, whom Morales had walked. Awesome. Morales issued three walks the first time through the order, but the Raccoons were the next team to score on an unearned sac fly by Murcia after Wharton reached on a throwing error and Corral hit a soft single in the third inning. Soon it started to rain.

Tyler Wharton reached on Crusaders errors twice and they had eight hits in five innings against Robinson, but couldn’t score more than two runs, while Robinson was hit for in the bottom 5th with Robert Ortiz, who tripled and then scored on a sac fly to tie the game. Morales and Yocum hit 2-out singles in the sixth, which predictably led nowhere when Mireles grounded out to short. Morales kept pitching in on-and-off rain until Josh Roza singled and Ryan Marty took him deep to left in the seventh inning, breaking the tie. The Critters didn’t reach base in the eighth inning, but Otal singled off closer John Faughnan to begin the ninth and Yocum soon joined him with another single, which put the tying run on base. Faughnan walked Mireles to fill them up with nobody out, and Katzman crashed into a 6-4-3 double play. Otal scored, Yocum went to third, and Wharton singled through the left side to tie the score when the Coons were down to their final out. Javier Acuna and Bill Davidson reached base in the bottom 9th against Holzmeister, with two outs, but Kyle Reber then grounded out and sent the game to overtime.

Christopher Tinari struck out the side of Critters in the tenth, then walked Gallo and Mireles in the 11th, but it wasn’t like we could find another base hit anywhere. With Holzmeister and Nava holding the fort for the Raccoons, the game continued, and Tinari then filled the bases with nobody out again in the 12th inning, as Corral singled, Huckaby walked, and van Otterdijk singled. Tinari walked in a run against Flowe, was removed for Jorge Solis, and a K to the pinch-hitting Sam Brown and Yocum hitting into a double play killed the inning. Valentin at least came up with a 1-2-3 bottom of the inning, the last out being made by Solis, as the Crusaders’ bench was empty. 5-4 Coons. Mireles 3-5, BB; T. Wharton 2-6, 2B, RBI; Corral 4-6, RBI; Holzmeister 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 3 K;

Rain picked up over night and Tuesday was just a miserable wet day with constant showers and the scheduled game was postponed into a Wednesday double-header.

Game 2
POR: 2B Yocum – LF Otal – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – RF Corral – 3B Gallo – C Brown – 1B Huckaby – P J. Wharton
NYC: SS Roza – 2B Philpot – RF J. Acuna – CF B. Davidson – 3B Reber – LF Griffin – 1B Duhon – C Marty – P Nesbit

Jimmy Wharton had a scoreless first and Tyler Wharton had a double to lead off the second inning, then got one-upped by Jose Corral, who one-upped it over the centerfield fence for a 2-0 lead. But the Crusaders came up with an all-right-handed (or switch-hitting) lineup, so I expected Jimmyboy to start struggling before long. He gave up a stupid run in the bottom 3rd, allowing a 1-out single to the opposing pitcher and an RBI double to Ryan Philpot. Acuna then flew out to Big Wharton.

Chris Duhon hurt himself on a defensive play in the fourth and was replaced with Nakamura, while Nesbit filled the bases with Critters in the fifth, hitting Huckaby and Otal with pitches, while Yocum was walked intentionally. Oh come on, boys! They’re BEGGING for it! Katz promptly grounded to short for … a throwing error by Roza which scored a run. (one eyeball becomes markedly bigger than the other) Wharton hit a sac fly, 4-1, and Corral fanned to end the inning.

The Coons were still on two hits through eight innings, but were also still up 4-1 with Jimmyboy not giving up a lot anymore, but Philpot hit a 1-out single on his 108th pitch and it was time for a change. Valentin pitched a 5-out save, despite two tack-on runs being scored in the ninth inning when Murcia, who entered in a double switch with Valentin, and Yocum got on base, and an Otal single and Katz’ sac fly both brought in a run. 6-1 Raccoons. T. Wharton 1-2, 2 BB, 2B, RBI; Murcia 1-1, 2B; J. Wharton 7.1 IP, 6 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 5 K, W (7-8);

The box score was decidedly odd with six runs off four hits, including Katz going 0-for-4 with 2 RBI on the groundout/error and the sac fly.

Game 3
POR: 2B Yocum – SS Mireles – 3B Katzman – CF T. Wharton – RF Corral – 1B Murcia – C Flowe – LF van Otterdijk – P Walla
NYC: SS Roza – 2B Philpot – RF J. Acuna – CF B. Davidson – 3B Reber – LF Griffin – C A. Morris – 1B Duhon – P C. Long

Walla didn’t retire any of the first four batters he faced, going walk, single, walk, single, and three runs scored in total in the inning, two of them earned and one coming with two outs on a Yocum error, which all in all was such a great start to a ballgame. Walla allowed two more runs on straight hits by the 2-through-5 batters, all with two outs, in the second inning, and didn’t get out of the fifth inning before being yanked following Reber and Andy Morris singles. Victor Ramirez struck out Duhon and Long to get out of there.

In between, the Coons had scored two runs on a van Otterdijk homer and then Walla’s single, after which he was forced out on Yocum’s grounder in the top 3rd. Yocum was balked to second and scored on a Katz hit, but it was still 5-2 after five. The Raccoons did precious little for the next couple of innings, while Holzmeister and Sullivan put up scoreless innings. Yocum then opened the eighth with a double off Adam Dochterman and was driven home on a Mireles single – and now the tying run was at the plate. Dochterman walked Katz, but rung up Wharton, and then got a 4-6-3 double play from Corral to clean up… The tying run was back on base when Flowe and van Otterdijk hit 1-out singles against Faughnan in the ninth inning. Gallo batted for McMahan in the #9 hole and whiffed, badly, and then Yocum grounded out to short. 5-3 Crusaders. Yocum 2-5, 2B; Katzman 2-3, BB, RBI; van Otterdijk 2-3, HR, RBI;

Raccoons (52-64) @ Stars (61-52) – August 15-17, 2070

Dallas ranked eighth in runs scored and fourth in runs allowed, and narrowly led a tight FL West by one game on Friday morning. They were not really excelling at anything except that they had the second-best ERA by a rotation in the Federal League. The Raccoons had last won a series against Dallas in 2060, with five lost interleague series since then, most recently two of three games in ’69.

Projected matchups:
Tony Gaytan (7-11, 3.70 ERA) vs. Andy Canada (12-2, 3.08 ERA)
Val Centeno (1-2, 5.32 ERA) vs. Ramon Torres (2-1, 2.81 ERA)
Vinny Morales (6-8, 3.53 ERA) vs. Bobby Marceau (9-11, 3.55 ERA)

No left-hander here … unless the Stars used the mutual off day to skip the former Critter Juan Sanchez (8-11, 5.19 ERA) into the series.

Game 1
POR: 2B Yocum – LF Otal – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – RF Corral – 3B Gallo – C Flowe – 1B Huckaby – P Gaytan
DAL: CF Stockton – RF J. Evans – LF Fumero – C Varner – 1B Morejon – 2B McNulty – SS Hills – 3B Vic. Morales – P Canada

Having Tony Gaytan pitch in the shoebox that Tyler Wharton used to call home and bash a billion homers in was not exactly high on my list of life goals, but here he was on the mound anyway. Actually not a whole lot of offense happened in the early going. Stalwart .190 hitter J.P. Gallo hit a solo homer in the second inning to put the Coons in front, but the Stars eventually tied it in the fifth of a solo homer by ex-Coon Brian Hills, after briefly threatening with Steve Varner and Jerry Morejon hits with two gone in the fourth. Chris McNulty grounded out, though.

Benito Otal’s leadoff double soon led to a fresh Coons lead in the sixth, despite Katz making a poor out. The Stars declined to invite Wharton for some bashery, but instead gave up an RBI single to Corral. Jeff McFadden replaced Canada, walked Flowe with two outs to fill the bases, and then gave up a 2-run single to Danny Huckaby. Gaytan whiffed, then proceeded to bleed two runs on hits by Carlos Fumero, Varner, McNulty, and Hills in the bottom 6th…

Despite this, Gaytan pitched another inning, holding the 4-3 lead, and while Wharton couldn’t get going, Gallo wouldn’t stop mashing, going yard for another solo homer off Allan Bergerud in the eighth. Nava and Valentin then pitched clean innings at the tail end to get the W in the books. 5-3 Coons. Gallo 2-4, 2 HR, 2 RBI; Huckaby 2-4, 2 RBI; Gaytan 7.0 IP, 9 H, 3 R, 3 ER, 0 BB, 2 K, W (8-11);

Still hitting .195, by the way.

Game 2
POR: 2B Yocum – LF Otal – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – RF Corral – 3B Gallo – C Flowe – 1B Huckaby – P Centeno
DAL: RF V.D. Morales – 3B Stockton – LF Fumero – C Varner – 2B McNulty – SS Vic. Morales – CF J. Evans – 1B Morejon – P R. Torres

Centeno had plainly nothing, besides 40 pitches on the clock after one 3-run inning. Three hits, three walks, three runs, and three left on base when Torres flew out to Otal. He then gave up just a single his second time through the order, and in the meantime Wharton drew a leadoff walk in the top 2nd and Corral romped a homer to right to narrow the score to 3-2. But the bottom 4th saw Victor David Morales (not to be confused with Victor Morales, the ex-Coon) and Dallas Stockton get on base with 2-out hit before Fumero flew out to center, and Centeno’s days in this game were clearly numbered. The fifth inning was his last, and he was taken deep by McNulty to extend Dallas’ lead to 4-2. The Raccoons just wouldn’t get on base, though; they had just four hits through eight innings against Torres and a barrelful of relievers, and then faced Jerry Washington in the ninth inning. Otal made a quick out, but Katz reached on an error, bringing up Wharton as the tying run. He was also hitless in this return to the shoebox, remained so, and both him and Corral struck out to end the game. 4-2 Stars.

Game 3
POR: 2B Yocum – LF Otal – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – RF Corral – 3B Gallo – 1B Murcia – C Brown – P Vin. Morales
DAL: RF V.D. Morales – SS An. Mendez – LF Fumero – CF M. Little – 2B McNulty – 3B Stockton – C Reyna – 1B Morejon – P Marceau

Yocum singled on 0-2 and was caught stealing to begin the game, but in the second inning the 5-6-7 all reached base against Marceau. Sam Brown flew out to right, Corral went home from third, and was thrown out by V.D. Morales. Vinny Morales meanwhile had given up a leadoff walk to V.D. Morales in the first inning, and, worse, gave up a homer to Stockton in the second to find himself 1-0 behind. He gave up a leadoff double to Marceau in the bottom 3rd, but then saw off the 1-2-3 batters without conceding the run, while Katz drew a leadoff walk in the fourth and was also caught stealing…

The fourth and fifth were largely calm until Vinny Morales sent V.D. Morales into the corner with a leadoff double in the sixth inning, putting the tying run in scoring position. Yocum popped out, which didn’t help at all, but Otal cranked a 2-run homer, which did help indeed as it flipped the score to 2-1 Portland. Katz singled and Wharton continued his bleak weekend with a 4-6-3 grounder. In the seventh Gallo singled… and was caught stealing.

Vinny Morales ended up with a no-decision, leaving the game after a 1-out double by Victor Reyna in the bottom 7th. McMahan replaced him to face Morejon, but the Stars sent Jake Evans instead, who banged a double off the wall in right to tie the game. Hills and V.D. Morales then made two meek outs to end the inning. Colter pinch-hit and singled for McMahan in the eighth, but was left on base. Holzmeister kept the game tied and Jerry Washington came to visit upon the 3-4-5 batters in the ninth. All were out easily, with a K on Wharton. Victor Ramirez had the bottom 9th, got an out from Stockton, and then put Reyna on with a single, Evans with a walk, and V.D. Morales with a 2-out infield single that filled them up for Victor Morales. There were a lot of Moraleses in this game! Wharton tracked down the former Brownshirt’s fly to center, and the game went to extras.

The Coons went in order in the tenth against McFadden, while Gutierrez entered in a double switch with Huckaby and put Matt Little on with a 1-out single and then McNulty with a walk, but Stockton flew out and Reyna rolled over to Katz for the last two outs. Yocum hit a 1-out single in the 11th, took off for a steal again, and this time Reyna didn’t get the runner. And McFadden didn’t get Otal, whose RBI double broke the tie. Katz grounded out to second, advancing the runner, and Wharton – a whopping 0-for-10 with 4 K in the series! – was walked intentionally. The Stars sent lefty Antonio Santelices after … the pinch-hitting van Otterdijk, who knocked in an extra run with a single through the left side! Gallo whiffed, and Valentin came in and… gave up a leadoff triple to Evans, an RBI single to Santelices (!!), and eventually that run as well on Vic Morales’ single. Morales made it all the way to third base before being stranded by Fumero and Little.

Nava put a pair on base in the 12th inning, but this time Evans and Santelices made the last two outs. Santelices walked Otal and Katz in the 13th inning, but Wharton remained ghastly and hit into a fielder’s choice, and van Otterdijk grounded out to leave them on the corners. The Stars ended the charade then; V.D. Morales drew a walk off Nava, who got a groundout from Vic Morales, but then gave up singles to Fumero and Little to cash the loss. 5-4 Stars. Yocum 2-6; Otal 2-5, BB, HR, 2B, 3 RBI; van Otterdijk (PH) 1-2, RBI; Colter (PH) 1-1;

In other news

August 11 – LAP SP Francisco Tello (7-8, 5.39 ERA) is headed for Tommy John surgery and expected to miss a year after tearing his UCL.
August 11 – DAL SP Alex Quevedo (7-7, 2.43 ERA) was going to miss the rest of the month due to an oblique strain.
August 12 – Two singles and a double in an 8-7 win against the Loggers extend the hitting streak of VAN INF Roberto Barraza (.336, 0 HR, 50 RBI) to 20 games.
August 15 – The Scorpions beat the Indians, 11-1, in a game in which both teams land 11 base hits. Sacramento has the benefit of two home runs, including a grand slam by OF/2B/SS Mike Pinault (.258, 20 HR, 81 RBI).
August 15 – The Aces win a 15-inning, 3-2 game against the Miners.
August 17 – The hitting streak of VAN INF Roberto Barraza (.337, 0 HR, 53 RBI) reaches 25 gams after an RBI double in an 8-5 loss to the Warriors.
August 17 – LAP CL David Wright (2-7, 3.72 ERA, 37 SV) could miss the rest of the season with a triceps strain.
August 17 – The Rebels beat the Bayhawks, 5-4 in 15 innings. Both teams previously scored a run in the 12th.
August 17 – The Pacifics hit four solo homers to barely squeeze by the Loggers, 5-4 in 14 innings.

Player of the Week (FL): LAP OF Chris McLean (.259, 13 HR, 46 RBI), batting .345 (10-29) with 4 HR, 8 RBI
Player of the Week (CL): ATL RF/LF Tom Troxel (.264, 7 HR, 44 RBI), hitting .688 (11-16) with 1 HR, 6 RBI

Complaints and stuff

0-for-11 with 4 K – I didn’t imagine Tyler Wharton in the shoebox quite like that. Maybe we signed the wrong Tyler Wharton. Maybe it’s that.

Maybe it’s something in the water.

While Gabriel Rios started a rehab assignment in AAA this week and should return soonish, this year’s #44 pick Dan McPartland pitched to a 5.40 ERA in 19 games with Aumsville before tearing the labrum in his shoulder and will sit out until early 2071 now.

The Raccoons would next have three games at home with the Miners, a day off on Thursday, and then another road trip to Indy and Milwaukee, with another day off in the middle of that.

Fun Fact: Tony Gaytan has more strikeouts (112) than Jason Brenize (111).

Is Brenize fading??

It’s not necessarily that Gaytan is *amazing*…! Surely not even better than last year.

[Westheim]

Raccoons (53-66) vs. Miners (58-60) – August 18-20, 2070

The Miners were also done with the season as they sat 11 games out in the FL East. This was the final interleague matchup for the Raccoons this year, meeting with the #5 offense and #4 pitching in the Federal League, but somehow that +41 run differential had not translated into a surfeit of wins. They were in the upper half of all major stats in the FL, except for OBP, where they somehow ranked tenth. The Raccoons had won *12* series against the Miners in a row, including a two-outta-three in each of the last three seasons.

Projected matchups:
Jimmy Wharton (7-8, 4.29 ERA) vs. Aldomiro Campion (12-8, 3.97 ERA)
Nick Walla (7-10, 4.40 ERA) vs. Tom Delaney (8-9, 5.32 ERA)
Tony Gaytan (8-11, 3.70 ERA) vs. Steven Fenstermacher (9-11, 3.96 ERA)

They only had right-handed starters in the rotation.

The week then started with a rainout on Monday and a Tuesday double-header. Moist weather and gloomy clouds hung around on Tuesday still, and it was doubtful whether we’d get two games in.

Game 1
PIT: LF N. Chapman – C Beckner – 2B Selep – CF Schneider – 3B Frasher – SS Maudlin – RF X. Contreras – 1B Engard – P Campion
POR: 2B Yocum – LF Otal – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – RF Corral – 3B Gallo – C Flowe – 1B Huckaby – P J. Wharton

Little occurred on the bases in the first two innings, but a leadoff walk to Jeremy Engard soon led to the first run of the game in the third inning, as the Brazilian pitcher Campion bunted him to second, he got third on a wild pitch by Jimmyboy, and then scored on Norm Chapman’s sac fly. The Raccoons answered, though, and quick, as Flowe and Huckaby hit soft singles to begin the bottom 3rd, were bunted over by Jimmyboy, and then Yocum singled them both in with a ball dropping into shallow right-center, before getting doubled up by Otal’s grounder to Matthew Selep. Wharton issued another leadoff walk in the fourth, and the Coons stranded Big Wharton and Gallo on base in the same inning.

Jimmyboy overall did really good, and held the Miners to two hits and the one run through seven innings, albeit at the cost of 112 pitches, at which point he was clearly done with the game. The Raccoons had only three hits off Campion at the stretch, but Corral and Gallo hit singles to begin the bottom 7th and Corral aggressively went to third base, Xavier Contreras’ throw was not on, and Gallo jiggered up to second behind him (while also getting over the fiendish .200 mark!), with nobody out. Campion then gave Flowe’s uniform a gentle waft with a breaking ball that sent Flowe to first, dooming the Coons with three on and nobody out. Huckaby grounded sharply to first for a force out at the plate (…) and when Mireles pinch-hit for Lil’ Wharton, he smashed into a 6-4-3 double play. (loud facepaw!)

Nava pitched a scoreless eighth despite somehow giving up a single to Campion, and instead the Coons tacked on in the bottom 8th. Yocum hit a leadoff single, but was forced out by Otal’s grounder. Otal was on the move though when Katz doubled to left-center and scored quite easily from first. Campion walked Wharton intentionally, then got meek outs from the 5-6 batters, and then the ball went to Valentin, against whom the Miners didn’t get the ball out of the infield. 3-1 Raccoons. Yocum 2-4, 2 RBI; Gallo 2-4; Flowe 1-2; J. Wharton 7.0 IP, 2 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 8 K, W (8-8);

Really good start by Jimmyboy! Minor effectiveness issues here, but if we’d get that regularly, we wouldn’t be in the swamp like this…

Game 2
PIT: LF N. Chapman – 3B Frasher – CF Schneider – 2B Selep – C J. Gutierrez – SS Maudlin – RF Holcomb – 1B H. Gomez – P Delaney
POR: 2B Yocum – LF Otal – RF Corral – CF T. Wharton – SS Mireles – 3B Murcia – C Brown – 1B Huckaby – P Walla

While Walla, coming off a terrible start, retired the Miners in order the first time through and whiffed three, the Raccoons did get four runners – half on singles and half on walks – in the first three innings, but Rafael Murcia got himself picked off first, and the remaining three were stranded. Chapman drew a walk to begin the fourth inning, stole second, and then was caught when greed overcame him and he wanted to steal third base as well, and Walla continued to face the minimum through four, but then leaked another leadoff walk to Matthew Selep in the fifth. This time Jeff Maudlin added a 1-out double, but Nate Holcomb flew out to Wharton in shallow center, and Wharton threw out Selep at home as he tried to score, ending the inning. All counts in the inning were long, and Walla was now already approaching 70 pitches.

Like Jimmyboy, Walla would pitch seven innings of 2-hit ball, but didn’t allow a run; however, he was also well over 100 pitches at that point and would be removed from the game. Unlike Wharton he got no run support and thus had to settle for a no-decision. Sullivan got the ball in the eighth, walked left-handed pinch-hitters Dan Burns and Alex Romero, struck out right-handed pinch-hitter Xavier Contreras, and then, with two outs, yielded for McMahan against the left-handed Chapman, but the Miners sent another pinch-hitter, Mitch Beckner – who struck out to leave the runners stranded. The Coons faced right-hander Jorge Sanchez in the bottom 8th. Otal grounded out, but Corral singled. Wharton’s grounder to Maudlin was mishandled for an error, Mireles’ soft single loaded the bases, and Murcia’s fly to right as caught by Romero, but deep enough to get Corral home on the sac fly. Sam Brown then clipped another soft single, but Wharton had stayed at second on the previous play and now only got to third. Gallo batted for Huckaby and walked in a full count – but only after a passed ball on Beckner had brought in Wharton’s run. Flowe pinch-hit, but flew out to Anthony Schneider. With Valentin already used, the Coons then gave the 2-0 lead to old man Victor Ramirez, who got three outs in order. 2-0 Blighters. Yocum 2-3; Mireles 2-4; Murcia 3-3, RBI; Walla 7.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 7 K;

No W for NDalla, but the Raccoons somehow bagged their 13th straight series win against the poor Miners.

Baseball’s this fun little game that refuses to make any amount of sense.

Game 3
PIT: LF N. Chapman – 3B Frasher – CF Schneider – 2B Selep – C J. Gutierrez – SS Maudlin – RF A. Romero – 1B H. Gomez – P Fenstermacher
POR: 2B Yocum – LF Otal – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – 3B Gallo – C Flowe – RF van Otterdijk – 1B Colter – P Gaytan

The Wi(n)dowmaker allowed only two singles to the Coons in the first four innings, while Tony Gaytan allowed a single in each of the first two innings, in which nothing overly bad happened, but then got triple-bombed in the fourth and fifth and left the game down 6-0. Jonathan Gutierrez hit a 2-run homer in the fourth, and in the fifth Eric Frasher and Anthony Schneider went back-to-back with two outs, Frasher finding Romero and Hector Gomez on base for the additional runs. Holzmeister then pitched two innings and walked three, but somehow didn’t allow a run. The Raccoons scored a token run in the bottom 6th when Huckaby, who had entered with Holzmeister in a double switch at van Otterdijk’s expense (Colter went to right), hit a double, Otal singled, and Katz hit a sac fly to left, but that was that for the inning, as Wharton ended it with a grounder to short. Edgar Gutierrez pitched another two scoreless innings at the end, but Gaytan turned out to have done well enough damage to lose this game. The Wi(n)dowmaker went eight, and Chad Brown cleaned up the 2-3-4 batters on seven pitches in the ninth. 6-1 Miners. Flowe 3-3; Huckaby 1-2, 2B; Holzmeister 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 3 BB, 1 K; Gutierrez 2.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 2 K;

Thursday was an off day and the Raccoons recycled personnel. Jason Holzmeister (0-2, 2.34 ERA) and Danny Huckaby (.204, 0 HR, 4 RBI) were sent back to St. Pete, from where Gabriel Rios returned from his rehab assignment after two dominating starts against kiddos, and we brought up a third catcher slash first baseman in Tony Spink. I know, no reason to be excited here. AAA infielder Jacob Davis was put on waivers to make room on the 40-man roster for Spink.

For pitching arrangements, Val Centeno remained on the roster, but would be a long man until rosters would expand, and then we’d add him back to a 6-man rotation.

Raccoons (55-67) @ Indians (55-66) – August 22-24, 2070

Indy was up 7-5 in the season series, sat seventh in runs scored, and eighth in runs allowed, with a -21 run differential (Coons: -36). They were weak on power (except against the Coons), and stole bases rather rabidly, with 116 thefts, second-most in the CL. They had the best rotation by ERA, and the worst bullpen by ERA. Been there, seen that, ain’t fun.

Projected matchups:
Vinny Morales (6-8, 3.50 ERA) vs. Pablo Apodaca (4-6, 4.46 ERA)
Gabriel Rios (6-0, 2.00 ERA) vs. Girolamo Pizzichini (6-9, 4.21 ERA)
Jimmy Wharton (8-8, 4.14 ERA) vs. Victor Perez (11-8, 2.81 ERA)

Apodaca would be our only left-handed opposing starter this week, as Mike DeWitt (10-8, 2.80 ERA) had pitched on Thursday.

Game 1
POR: 2B Yocum – LF van Otterdijk – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – RF Corral – 3B Murcia – C Flowe – 1B Spink – P V. Morales
IND: CF Hilario – LF W. Griffith – 1B M. Rogers – C A. Gomez – RF T. Torres – 3B Ma. Martin – SS Valadez – 2B G. Lujan – P Apodaca

Almost immediately, Vinny Morales was in a 2-0 hole on a wallbanger double by Wade Griffith and Matt Rogers’ homer to right. He put two more runners on base as he walked Matt Martin and nicked Guillermo Lujan in the second, and in the third was taken deep again by Rogers – his 25th homer of the year – and then walked Alex Gomez and gave up another single to Tony Torres before the inning somehow ended on two pops by Martin and Fernando Valadez.

The Raccoons had only two hits in the first three innings, then scattered singles by Katz (who was forced out by Wharton) and Murcia in the fourth without scoring as Flowe grounded out. Tony Spink then came and bopped a homer to left to begin the fifth, so what the **** do I know about baseball? Yocum singled and was caught stealing in the same inning, being denied his 30th bag of the year.

Morales did pitch scoreless middle innings and got two outs into the seventh before losing Alex Gomez in a full count and being replaced with Ramirez, who got a groundout from Torres to end the inning. Yocum dropped a leadoff single in the eighth, putting the tying run in the box, and van Otterdijk smacked into a 5-4-3 double play, putting the tying run in the on-deck circle. Katz whiffed, putting the tying run in the ******* dugout. But in the ninth, the tying run was actually on base after Wharton and Murcia hit singles off the left-hander Ryan Croft. Mireles was the only righty bat on the bench, batted for Flowe, and found Valadez for a fielder’s choice, keeping the tying run on first base. Somehow we ended up sending Spink (a career .186 hitter) up as the final out and felt not even terrible about it, since the alternatives were even more depressing. He grounded out to Lujan. 3-1 Indians. Yocum 3-4; Murcia 3-4;

Tyler Wharton was batting 1-for-29 at this point and got another day off – technically his third day off this week. Just, go a bit to the cage, maybe look at your swing, and just don’t do any damage by flailing, okay?

Game 2
POR: 2B Yocum – CF Otal – RF Corral – SS Katzman – 3B Gallo – 1B Murcia – LF van Otterdijk – C Brown – P Rios
IND: CF Hilario – LF W. Griffith – 1B M. Rogers – C A. Gomez – RF T. Torres – 3B Ma. Martin – SS Valadez – 2B R. Cabrera – P Pizzichini

The Raccoons managed an Otal walk and an immediate double play grounder from Corral the first time through, while the Indians at least got a run on the board on a 1-out triple to right-center by Valadez, who scored on Rich Cabrera’s sac fly. Yocum landed a leadoff single in the fourth inning and stole his 30th base off Pizza, while Otal whiffed, Corral grounded out, and Katz finally got the damn run home with a single to center. Gallo lobbed an RBI double into the rightfield corner, then scored on Murcia’s clean RBI single to left. The Otter grounded out, ending a 3-run inning.

The lead didn’t last, because Valadez and Cabrera hit singles to begin the bottom 5th and Brown threw the ball away on the double steal, bringing in one unearned run immediately, and the other on Jose Hilario’s sac fly after Rios rung up Pizza, getting the teams even at three. Top 6th, and the Coons got Corral and Gallo on base, leading to Tim Tennant replacing Pizza – and giving up a 3-run homer to Rafael Murcia immediately! This was Murcia’s first homer in the brown shirt and the sixth on the season.

The Coons immediately started to blow the walls off the new 6-3 lad again as Rios walked Gomez with one out, then allowed a single to Torres that was misfielded by Corral for extra bases. Brown then glitched in a run on a passed ball, and another scored on Matt Martin’s double. Valadez grounded out, Rios was yanked with the tying run on third base, as Nava came in and got a groundout to third from Cabrera, ending the inning. Jamel Robinson and Hilario then hit singles off Nava to begin the seventh, but he got three more outs while I was cleaning the blunderbuss, and maintained the 6-5 lead. Instead, McMahan blew the lead in the eighth, giving up four singles to the five batters he faced, and left with runners on the corners. Hilario and Griffith both flew out to Corral to end the stupid inning against Todd Sullivan. Mireles and Wharton made pinch-hit outs against Croft to begin the ninth. Yocum singled, but Otal flew out. 7-6 Indians. Yocum 3-5; Gallo 2-4, 2B, RBI; Murcia 2-4, HR, 4 RBI;

Blech.

Game 3
POR: 2B Yocum – LF Otal – 3B Katzman – CF T. Wharton – RF Corral – 1B Murcia – SS Mireles – C Flowe – P J. Wharton
IND: CF Hilario – LF W. Griffith – 1B M. Rogers – C A. Gomez – RF T. Torres – 3B Ma. Martin – SS Valadez – 2B Leggett – P V. Perez

The first ten pitches in the bottom 1st yielded a 2-base throwing error by Jimmyboy, a hit batter, and then a wild pitch, which allowed Matt Rogers and Alex Gomez to hit a pair of RBI groundouts for unearned runs on basically nothing of the Indians’ own making before Torres popped out to Katz in foul ground. Martin walked to begin the bottom 2nd, but was caught stealing, and Wally Leggett doubled with two outs and then scored on Perez’ single, as I was despairing of Jimmy Wharton’s see-saw start-to-start rollercoaster rides.

The Coons then also reached with their first two runners on nothing but ******** in the top 3rd as Perez nicked Flowe and Jimmyboy reached on an error. With a runner in scoring position, Yocum obviously grounded out, but Otal hit an RBI single and Katz got a sac fly to Hilario for a 3-2 score before Big Wharton bigly whiffed. The big salary draw was back at the plate with two outs and Otal and Katz on the corners in the fifth inning – but tied the game with a single up the middle! Progress! And Corral then floated one out for Torres to bag with one hand.

Jimmyboy pitched mostly clean until Torres singled and Martin walked with two outs in the bottom 6th, but then rung up Valadez, his seventh strikeout in the game, in which he had crossed the 100 K mark for the season already. Yocum singled with one gone in the seventh, but was thrown out at third by Torres on Otal’s single to right and the inning amounted to nothing. Wharton retired Leggett, Lujan, and Hilario in order in the seventh, with another K on the middle batsman, and then was done for the day. He got no support in the eighth and thus no decision, while Edgar Gutierrez put Griffith and Rogers on base to start the bottom 8th before Gomez flew into an 8-2 double play. McMahan then came in for Torres, but faced right-hander Jamel Robinson instead, who lifted one out for Corral to take, thus stranding the go-ahead run on third base; the winning run would get on base in the bottom 9th when Malcolm Spicer singled off Sullivan, but he was also left on base, and we had another extra-inning game on our paws.

The Coons went in order against starter Miguel Lopez in the ninth and tenth, while Sullivan was back for the bottom of the 10th, allowed a hit to Hilario, an infield single to Rogers, and then fumbled Robinson’s comebacker for a 2-out error to load the bases for Matt Martin, who grounded out to Mireles. The 11th was uneventful, with Victor Ramirez keeping the game going, but the Coons just couldn’t get on base, and we ended up sending in Val Centeno in the 12th inning. He struck out Hilario and Cabrera in a 1-2-3 first frame out there. The Coons then unexpectedly broke through in the 13th against lefty Felix Morales, who got two outs before Wharton singled off him, and then gave up a gapper to Corral for a double. Wharton rushed around from first base to score and break the tie that had persisted since the fifth inning. Spink batted for an 0-for-5 Murcia, but struck out, and the Raccoons stuck to Centeno for some odd reason. Alex Gomez and Jamel Robinson hit towering fly balls to left that Otal picked on the edge of the warning track, but Rogers struck out to end the game. 4-3 Critters. Otal 3-6, RBI; T. Wharton 2-5, BB, RBI; Corral 2-6, 2B, RBI; J. Wharton 7.0 IP, 4 H, 3 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 8 K; Sullivan 2.0 IP, 3 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 3 K; Centeno 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 3 K, W (2-3);

The Corral double was our only extra-base hit in the game, and nobody below Corral in the order found a hit OR walk all game long.

In other news

August 19 – MIL RF/LF Carlos Dominguez (.383, 16 HR, 91 RBI) rakes for two singles and two RBI in a 6-5 loss to the Capitals, but extends his hitting streak to 20 games.
August 19 – The Bayhawks walk off against the Wolves, 4-3 in ten innings, on a wild pitch by SAL CL Tony Castellanos (6-8, 4.04 ERA, 11 SV).
August 20 – The hitting streak of Carlos Dominguez (.380, 16 HR, 91 RBI) lasts no more than 20 games, as the Loggers slugger goes 0-for-4 in a 12-2 loss to the Capitals.
August 22 – SFW SP Alex Diez (13-3, 2.17 ERA) 1-hits the Wolves in a 5-0 shutout, striking out nine batters. SAL UT Tyrese Armstrong (.293, 8 HR, 57 RBI) hits a single in the second inning for the only Salem hit in the game.
August 22 – The Crusaders beat the Canadiens, 2-1. All runs score in the first inning, and neither team manags more than three base hits.
August 23 – Rebels SS/2B Casey Ramsey (.257, 5 HR, 26 RBI) gets his 2,000th career hit in an 8-2 win against the Blue Sox.
August 23 – The 28-game hitting streak of Vancouver’s Roberto Barraza (.333, 0 HR, 54 RBI) ends with an 0-for-5 in a 7-5 win against the Crusaders.
August 24 – CHA 1B Andy Metz (.286, 18 HR, 68 RBI) whacks two homers and drives in half the runs in his team’s 12-4 win over the Thunder.

Player of the Week (FL): NAS RF Austin Gordon (.301, 18 HR, 62 RBI), batting .409 (9-22) with 3 HR, 10 RBI
Player of the Week (CL): OCT INF/LF Carlos Gutierrez (.326, 9 HR, 69 RBI), hitting .545 (12-22) with 6 RBI

Complaints and stuff

Val Centeno remained in the game in the 13th on Sunday because the lead was only one run and if Valentin had blown it we would not have had another long option (or many options at all). Also, we won’t be using Centeno for consecutive games anyway (although Monday was off), so I was happily letting him have multiple innings at a time. In the end it all worked out, and when does that ever happen in Coon City? Okay, it worked out far from Coon City. Maybe that’s our problem. Something in that Willamette water.

Tyler Wharton is 3-for-35 in his last 10 games, at which point you can stop having hopes or dreams. But Humphries should return by the roster expansion at the latest, so we’ll at least get to see the top of the order we actually built for the last month.

Unless Katz breaks a leg now or something.

Monday off, as mentioned, and then three games in Loggerland. We have the Falcons at home to finish the month, which will be the start of a 10-game homestand also featuring the Thunder and Titans.

Fun Fact: Casey Ramsey has batted for the league average in all but one of his 13 ABL seasons.

He debuted in 2058 with the Condors and has since played for the Knights, Rebs, Loggers, and now the Rebs again. A consistent performer who put up at least 4 WAR in each of his first eight seasons (but not since due to defensive impediments for the most part), the sole below-average season for him so far was in 2067 with the Knights, when he only hit for a 99 OPS+. This year he was at exactly 100.

Overall he’s gone .296/.331/.435 with 112 homers and 872 RBI, and has also stolen 185 bases. He was an All Star twice and won a Platinum Stick in ’64 with Tijuana, but has never led the league in any category.

[Westheim]

Raccoons (56-69) @ Loggers (70-53) – August 26-28, 2070

The Loggers had a 6 1/2 game lead in the North and would like to maintain that, so they had work to do to better their 6-6 record against the Critters this year. They had the second-best offense and sixth-best pitching, for a +126 run differential. We’d get them without their young leadoff batter Sean Van Leeuwen, who was on the DL until Friday at least. Milwaukee was already tops in homers, and Tony Gaytan was making an appearance in this series, so cover your heads.

Projected matchups:
Nick Walla (7-10, 4.20 ERA) vs. Matt Crist (10-8, 4.14 ERA)
Tony Gaytan (8-12, 3.92 ERA) vs. Julio Robles (10-5, 3.23 ERA)
Vinny Morales (6-9, 3.52 ERA) vs. Ramon Carreno (10-7, 5.05 ERA)

Due to a double-header they played last week, the final game could also bring us Curt Green (8-4, 3.82 ERA). All of them were right-handed though.

Game 1
POR: 2B Yocum – LF Otal – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – RF Corral – 3B Gallo – C Flowe – 1B Murcia – P Walla
MIL: RF Da. Wright – 2B Hood – LF C. Dominguez – C M. Rodriguez – 1B C. Ramirez – SS F. Carrera – CF Parrish – 3B Di. Mendoza – P Crist

The first five Loggers batters made outs against Walla before Fidel Carrera walked and he drilled John Parrish with an 0-2 pitch. Diego Mendoza gave a 3-run homer a good go, but only made it to the warning track and Benito Otal’s mitten. 2-out trouble returned in the third inning, though, with a double by Roland Hood and then a pair of soft singles by sluggers Carlos Dominguez and Manuel Rodriguez to get the infielder home with the game’s first run. Cesar Ramirez then popped out. In the fifth, Dominguez and Rodriguez would land 2-out singles again from the 3-4 spots, but that time with nobody on, and Wharton ran down a Ramirez fly to left-center to end the inning and keep the Loggers from adding on. And the Raccoons? Two singles through five, of whom one (Yocum) had been caught stealing. Not worth even mentioning, really.

That changed in the sixth when Yocum led off with another single and then watched Otal and Katz make unhelpful outs. But Tyler Wharton came through with something, anything, really, and stuck a double into the rightfield corner, allowing Yocum to score from first and tie the game with two outs. Corral grounded out to Hood, and the Coons battery went to the corners with a pair of singles in the seventh inning, but a runner in scoring position and two outs was a no-go for Yocum (who had only 25 RBI on the year) and he grounded out to Hood as well.

For the third time in the bloody game, Dominguez and Rodriguez then reached with 2-out singles in the seventh inning, this time with an INFIELD single for the catcher that Flowe played to gingerly, and they knocked out Walla this time around. McMahan came in against the left-handed 5-6-7 batters, but gave up the go-ahead run on a Ramirez single before Carrera grounded out to second. Walla did not remain on the hook though, because Crist nailed Otal and walked Katz to begin the top 8th. Wharton whiffed in a full count before Jorge Quinones, left-hander by trade, replaced the starter, but gave up the game-tying bloop RBI single to Jose Corral. Gallo popped out, and van Otterdijk batted for Flowe and landed another bloop single in shallow left, but there was no sending Katz from second against Dominguez’ arm in that situation and the bags were loaded for Murcia, who rolled over to short. The Coons got a scoreless eighth from Victor Ramirez, but increasingly useless Edgar Gutierrez lost the game in the ninth without getting anybody out, giving up four straight singles to Dave Wright, Roberto Soto, and the unavoidables in the 3-4 spots. 3-2 Loggers. Van Otterdijk (PH) 1-1; Walla 6.2 IP, 9 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 1 BB, 6 K and 1-3;

Game 2
POR: 2B Yocum – LF Otal – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – RF Corral – 3B Murcia – C Brown – 1B Colter – P Gaytan
MIL: RF Da. Wright – 2B Hood – LF C. Dominguez – C M. Rodriguez – 1B C. Ramirez – SS F. Carrera – CF Parrish – 3B Monck – P Ju. Robles

Centeno was in the pen from the start in this game in which we inspected Gaytan to give up at least three bombs in the first five innings, and then he could pitch the rest of the game, hopefully without having his head taken off. Gaytan tried to shush the doubters by not allowing a run the first time through (but also struck nobody out!) by allowing two hits and getting a double play from John Parrish. The Raccoons also had a double paly from Corral for no hits, as Wharton had reached on an error in the second and Corral was above exploiting such mishaps.

The first Coons hits in the game were 2-out singles by Katz and Wharton in the fourth, but Corral grounded out to short to end the inning. The Loggers began their half of the fourth with Hood and Dominguez singles, who went to the corners, and while Gaytan rung up Rodriguez, he walked Ramirez to fill the bases. The Loggers then scored five runs in SPECTACULAR fashion: Gaytan drilled Carrera, walked Parrish, drilled Rich Monck, and gave up a 2-run single to the ******* opposing pitcher. He was then yanked. Nava came in, got two outs, and then Centeno would get… – hopefully the rest of the game, really.

Centeno got three outs from the 3-4-5 batters and his agile outfielders in the fifth inning, then walked Parrish in the sixth, but struck out Monck in exchange. He was then taken over the fence by that ******* opposing pitcher. He pitched one more inning without looking even more like a loser, but that got him to 54 pitches, and we deemed that enough in garbage relief. In the meantime the Raccoons had actually scored a couple by accident, Katz doubling home Yocum in the sixth and then in the eighth we had Gallo – who entered in a double switch with Centeno, as Murcia replaced Colter at first – and Yocum lead off with singles. Otal hit a sac fly, and Katz and Corral singles off Robles got Yocum home, 7-3, but then Murcia struck out on a 2-2 ball in the dirt, ending the rally. The presumed final inning of the day in the bottom 8th was given to closer Pedro Valentin, who retired the Loggers in order (shrugs!). The Loggers sent Luis Lerma for the ninth after hitting for Robles in the bottom 8th against Valentin, but he gave up a 1-out pinch-hit double to Jake Flowe and then a homer to Gallo, and suddenly the Coons were just two runs away from tying the game. B.J. Butrico replaced Lerma to put the lid on, but Yocum singled and put the tying run in the box. Otal lined out to Monck for the second out, but Katz singled through the left side and put the tying runs on the corners for Wharton to have another go, but he hit a fly to Dominguez – that Dominguez dropped!! Yocum scored, and Katz and Wharton went into scoring position as the entire crowd gasped at once. One more knock was required, and Corral was up to bat. Butrico ran the count full and then gave up a high fly to right. Oh-oh. Oh-oh! OH-OH-OUTTA HERE!!!

Murcia flew out and now the Coons had a bit of a problem as we had already floundered Valentin in an assumed garbage inning and Flowe had batted for him. Nava was also gone, and the right-handed top of the order was up, so we went to Ramirez. He felled the Loggers in three batters and just 11 pitches for his fifth save of the year. 9-7 Furballs!! Yocum 3-5; Katzman 4-5, 2B, RBI; Corral 2-5, HR, 4 RBI; Flowe (PH) 1-1, 2B; Gallo 2-3, HR, 2 RBI;

Yes, yes, Tony. No homers. Your 5-spot was still infinitely more ******ed than the Loggers giving up six in the ninth. No, no, stand right there and keep that stupid grin. Just a second. (fills bars of soap into a sock)

Game 3
POR: 2B Yocum – RF Corral – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – LF van Otterdijk – 3B Gallo – C Flowe – 1B Colter – P Morales
MIL: RF Da. Wright – 2B Hood – LF C. Dominguez – C M. Rodriguez – 1B C. Ramirez – SS F. Carrera – CF Parrish – 3B Monck – P Carreno

The Coons began on Thursday like they had finished on Wednesday, getting their first runner when ex-Coon Carreno brushed Yocum, who stole second, Katz hit a soft single and was forced out by Wharton’s grounder near the third-base line, and then the Otter cranked a 3-run homer to left for a blitz lead. Yocum doubled to begin the third inning then and scored on Corral and Katz groundouts, while Morales didn’t explode on contact and retired the Loggers for the minimum in the first three innings. Parrish hit a single, but Carreno bunted into a 1-6-3 double play to get rid of the runner. After Gallo and Flowe reached to begin the fourth, Morales drove himself another run home for a 5-0 lead by singling to center. Gallo scored from second, and Flowe got confused and was tagged out between second and third to short-circuit the inning from there.

Hyper-aggressive Loggers drew just *26* pitches in four innings from Morales, which meant no strikeouts until he got Carrera in a full count in the fifth as they tried to change their approach mid-game. Vinny still had a 2-hitter on 52 pitches through six, though, but then had a longer seventh inning with a 3-1 single by Rodriguez and then lost Ramirez in a full count on ball four, which meant he threw 23 pitches in that inning alone, but a shutout was still not off the table once Carrera grounded out to Katz. Roberto Soto hit a bloop single batting for reliever Raul Salas in the eighth, but was left on base; however the 2-3-4 batters would be up in the bottom of the ninth, and the score was still 5-0 as the Coons offense had gone home an hour ago. Hood led off with a sharp 0-2 single, and Dominguez flew out to deep left, signaling that the Loggers were inches from breaking through. Rodriguez flew out to van Otterdijk in a full count, getting Morales to 97 pitches, so he didn’t have a lot left for sure. He got Ramirez to 2-2 … and then gave up a homer to right. (deflates visibly) He walked Carrera and was also denied the complete game as then Valentin came in to clean up and ring up Parrish. 5-2 Raccoons. Katzman 2-4, RBI; Morales 8.2 IP, 6 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 3 K, W (7-9) and 1-2, RBI;

90 career starts and zero complete games for Vinny Morales. (Morales hangs ears and stares sadly into his full food bowl)

Raccoons (58-70) vs. Falcons (56-71) – August 29-31, 2070

This season series was also tied, at three, as the month ended with a pair of teams that wanted the whole damn season to end, pronto. The Falcons were in the bottom three in both runs scored and runs allowed and had a -104 run differential, but for all that were only a game and a half worse than the Coons in the record department. Outfielder Brady Terrell was the only notable injury on a team that didn’t have a lot of notable personnel.

Projected matchups:
Gabriel Rios (6-0, 2.19 ERA) vs. Dan Speake (6-15, 5.49 ERA)
Jimmy Wharton (8-8, 4.01 ERA) vs. Ayahito Ochi (11-9, 4.33 ERA)
Nick Walla (7-10, 4.13 ERA) vs. Edgar Mauricio (1-0, 0.00 ERA)

Ochi was the only southpaw for the week. Mauricio would make his second ABL start of the year; the 35-year-old had been absent from the majors for 13 months after elbow ligament surgery last July.

Game 1
CHA: CF L. Collins – 2B A. Rodriguez – C O. Matos – SS Tr. Taylor – 1B A. Metz – RF A. Campbell – LF Mullen – 3B Moraida – P Speake
POR: 2B Yocum – LF Otal – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – RF Corral – 3B Gallo – C Flowe – 1B Colter – P Rios

Landon Collins opened the game with a homer to right, and Rios remained outta sorts after that, allowing a single to Alex Rodriguez, a walk to Oscar Matos, and eventually a 2-out RBI double to Adam Campbell. It took a first-inning mound conference to get an easy last out from Eddie Mullen. The Falcons tacked on a pair in the third with another leadoff jack by Matos, another walk and an RBI double by Campbell, and the Raccoons began to turn towards their pen to see stretchies being conducted. Offensively useless, Rios batted in turn as the Coons got only one guy on base the first time through, but was yanked after a K to Speake, a Collins single, and another RBI double for Rodriguez, 5-0. Sullivan got five outs before being hit for with van Otterdijk in the bottom 5th. The Dutch Antillean doubled home Gallo and Flowe for the team’s first two runs in the damn game, but Yocum obviously grounded out with a guy in scoring position, ending the inning. Garbage duty fell on Gutierrez then, who pitched three innings on 41 pitches and gave up another hard-to-explain homer to Landon Collins, but nothing else of substance and thus maintained his even 3.00 ERA. Ramirez did the ninth in orderly fashion, but the offense never got another paw up in threatening manner. 6-2 Falcons. Corral 2-4; van Otterdijk (PH) 1-1, 2B, 2 RBI;

(sigh)

Game 2
CHA: LF Bakker – 2B A. Rodriguez – C O. Matos – SS Tr. Taylor – 1B A. Metz – RF A. Campbell – CF Mullen – 3B Moraida – P Ochi
POR: 2B Yocum – LF van Otterdijk – 3B Katzman – CF T. Wharton – RF Corral – SS Mireles – 1B Murcia – C Brown – P J. Wharton

Jimmyboy’s scoreless first got his ERA into the 3’s again and he alloed only one hit in the first four innings, while the Raccoons were perfectly harmless the first time through the order before Yocum reached base to begin the fourth. The Otter singled and a double steal got them to where a Katz grounder brought the game’s first run in. Wharton flew out, but Corral found a 2-out RBI single for a 2-0 lead before the inning ran out of fizz. Ochi then walked the 7-8 batters to begin the fifth, who were bunted into scoring position by Jimmy Wharton, and Yocum accidentally got the runners home with a single through the right side. Adam Campbell’s throwing error not only meant there was no threat on Sam Brown being out at the plate, but the loose ball also allowed Yocum to second base. Ochi walked the Otter and lost Katz on a 3-2 infield single to load the bases for Big Wharton, who was held to a sac fly by Matt Bakker. Corral fanned, keeping the score at 5-0 after five. Mireles hit a leadoff single, advanced on a grounder by Murcia, and scored on Sam Brown’s single in the sixth, tacking on another run, while Jimmyboy allowed a leadoff single to Matos and then was taken deep by Trent Taylor to stain his ledger in the seventh, which was also his last inning in the game due to general inefficiency; he needed 106 pitches for seven innings. Nava had a scoreless eighth before the ball went to Sullivan in the ninth, but he walked Rodriguez and allowed a single to Taylor for only one out and was replaced with Valentin, who saw a requirement to walk the bags full with Andy Metz before getting a double play grounder to end the game from the tying run, former Elks foe Adam Campbell. 6-2 Coons. J. Wharton 7.0 IP, 3 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 0 BB, 6 K, W (9-8);

No Critter had more than one base hit, and outside of the three middle innings they did virtually nothing.

Humph was basically ready to return at this point, but rosters would expand on Monday anyway and we kept him laid over in St. Pete a day longer for ease of procedures, and it wasn’t like we’d make up a 15-game deficit anyway.

Game 3
CHA: CF L. Collins – 2B A. Rodriguez – C O. Matos – 1B A. Metz – SS Tr. Taylor – LF Bakker – RF A. Campbell – 3B Moraida – P E. Mauricio
POR: 2B Yocum – LF Otal – RF Corral – CF T. Wharton – SS Mireles – 3B Gallo – C Flowe – 1B Murcia – P Walla

Walla retired Charlotte in order the first time through, whiffing two to get to 100 K for the season (which was about time), while the Coons only got Wharton on base under their own power with a leadoff single in the second. Mireles reached on a Taylor error, but the Falcons shortstop then started a 6-4-3 on Gallo, so it all added up to zero runs in the end. Walla walked Landon Collins to begin the fourth, but he was also doubled off. Otal drew a leadoff walk in the Coons’ half of the fourth inning, advanced twice on a grounder, and then scored on a soft Mireles single over the head of Rodriguez before Gallo fanned.

The Falcons’ first hit was a 2-out single by Bakker in the fifth inning, after which Walla fell to 3-1 on Campbell, who then doubled to right-center. Bakker went for the plate, but so did Tyler Wharton and hammered the runner out to end the inning. Flowe then replied with a leadoff jack in the bottom 5th, Murcia singled and scored as well on Otal’s 2-out single, 3-0. Otal stole second, then danced home with Corral on a 2-out homer by the rightfielder.

Five and two thirds innings of shutout ball got Walla’s ERA under four as well, and he maintained control of the 5-0 game through six. He was on shutout pace, but a Murcia error extended the seventh inning to where Walla ended up reaching the stretch only on his 88th pitch of the game. He gave up a pinch-hit single to Kevin Huffman in the #9 spot in the eighth inning, but kept the runner on, although he reached 100 pitches at the completion of eight. Corral’s double and a Wharton homer off David Gooding put the game away for all practical purposes in the bottom 8th. Katz batted for Gallo, only reached on an error by Danny Moraida, and then scored from second on Flowe’s single. Walla batted for himself to end the bottom 8th, whiffing, and then faced the 3-4-5 batters with an 8-0 lead. Matos then raked a triple into the rightfield corner for instant deflation, but Walla remained on the hill and got a pop from Metz on the infield that didn’t allow Matos to score. Taylor ALSO popped out on the infield, bringing up Bakker as the potential final out! And again the Coons were denied the shutout as Bakker hit a 2-out single. Campbell also singled, and Walla was lifted for Gutierrez, who had to **** around, allowed a single to Moraida, walked in a run against Eddie Mullen, and only then got Collins to end the game. 8-2 Raccoons. Corral 2-4, HR, 2B, 2 RBI; T. Wharton 2-4, HR, 2 RBI; Flowe 2-4, HR, 2 RBI; Walla 8.2 IP, 8 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 1 BB, 2 K, W (8-10);

In other news

August 25 – In only his fourth major league appearance of the season, Bayhawks SP Austin LaRosa (2-1, 1.99 ERA) throws a PERFECT GAME against the Condors, striking out six and retiring all 27 Condors batters in a row in a 4-0 win. LaRosa needs only 86 pitches to complete the amazing feat.
August 28 – LVA SP Luis Ortiz (13-6, 3.31 ERA) shines with a 1-hitter against the Thunder to claim a 6-0 win. The only Thunder knock comes from INF/LF Carlos Gutierrez (.320, 9 HR, 70 RBI) with a single in the seventh inning.
August 30 – A concussion ends the season of rookie Wolves catcher Ken Flaminio (.344, 0 HR, 10 RBI).
August 31 – The Capitals beat the Stars only in 14 innings, by a score of 6-5.

Player of the Week (FL): SAC OF/2B/SS Mike Pinault (.259, 22 HR, 90 RBI), hitting .500 (10-20) with 1 HR, 5 RBI
Player of the Week (CL): SFB OF/1B Ryan Redding (.277, 4 HR, 32 RBI), clipping .571 (12-21) with 2 HR, 5 RBI

FL Hitter of the Month: SAL OF Chris Bauer (.339, 14 HR, 77 RBI), batting .386 with 4 HR, 25 RBI
CL Hitter of the Month: MIL RF/LF Carlos Dominguez (.376, 18 HR, 94 RBI), clapping .361 with 5 HR, 11 RBI
FL Pitcher of the Month: SFW SP Alex Diez (14-3, 2.23 ERA), going 5-0 with a 2.25 ERA, 48 K
CL Pitcher of the Month: ATL SP Erik Lee (14-6, 2.29 ERA), a perfect 6-0 with an 0.43 ERA and 35 K
FL Rookie of the Month: NAS 1B Orlando Reyes (.294, 7 HR, 34 RBI), bashing .366 with 4 HR, 17 RBI
CL Rookie of the Month: VAN UT Eddie Campos (.310, 3 HR, 13 RBI), batting .320 with 2 HR, 11 RBI

Complaints and stuff

Ryan Redding won Player of the Week honors at a tender 20 years and 253 days of age, and after only 84 major league games. The Baybirds drafted him first overall in 2068 and he never appeared in a game in AA on his way to the majors. He looks like a real menace in the making and I can’t wait for him to endlessly hit walkoff knocks against the Coons at the bloody Bay.

The Loggers lost their series to the Coons this week but the damn Elks are doing some hard collapsing right now and the Loggers look like they’re gonna walk the division with five weeks to go. We might still take the season series, somehow.

So roster expansion will bring back Steve Humphries, who was last seen here on May 15, on Monday, along with some other bodies. I don’t have any hot prospects to offer to you, unless you’re really into the thought of Dan Gomez coming back or something like that. We will probably do the 6-man rotation thing with Val Centeno, so we’ll load up on ham-and eggers for the pen. That’ll be fun!

We’ll be in the Northwest for the next two weeks, hosting the Thunder and Titans for the rest of the homestand. There’ll be a 3-day trip to Elk City (of which we have TWO left), and then another 3-game set at home against the Crusaders.

Fun Fact: Austin LaRosa’s perfecto on Monday is the sixth perfect game in league history.

Before that the following pitchers had perfect games:

CIN Juan Garcia vs. Buffos on May 19, 2008
WAS Eric Williams @ Rebs on September 8, 2024
IND Chris Sinkhorn vs. Rebs on August 17, 2027
TOP Jose Arias vs. Rebs on April 30, 2047
NAS Marcus Wilkins vs. Buffos on September 10, 2055

LaRosa’s is the first one that has come against a CL team, which isn’t surprising giving the Rebels’ penchant go go 27 up, 27 down. LaRosa is the first pitcher to throw a perfect game that is not a regular starter (almost 80% of his ABL appearances were in relief), and he’s also a waiver claim.

No pitcher to throw a perfect game has made it into the Hall of Fame, but Chris Sinkhorn for a while came pretty close.

Career totals:
Juan Garcia (2001-2015): 128-139, 4.44 ERA, 1,684 K – 1 ring
Eric Williams (2018-2034): 182-133, 3.27 ERA, 1,907 K – 2 rings
Chris Sinkhorn (2018-2033): 184-131, 3.50 ERA, 2,368 K – 1 ring, 1x Pitcher of the Year, 2x ERA leader, 1x strikeout leader
Jose Arias (2044-2059): 118-95, 3.68 ERA, 1,279 K
Marcus Wilkins (2045-2060): 140-134, 4.26 ERA, 1,682 K – 2 rings
Austin LaRosa (2063-xxxx): 14-16, 4.30 ERA, 285 K

[Westheim]

We got four to five inches of snow overnight, it keeps ******** it down, and it’s already chaos out there. It’s not like we’re Florida out here, but it’s already snowed more this winter than like the last five combined, and you can tell that nobody prepared for that thanks to the typical German “oh we’ll reach Moscow before winter hits” complacency. ANYWAY. I’m staying home today. And here’s some Critters.

+++

Roster expansion first and foremost brought back Steve Humphries after three-and-a-half months on the shelf. More sticks added included Dan Gomez and Willie Jalomo (and no excitement, so we now actually had FOUR catchers on the roster, even though two doubled to provide additional cover for corner infield spots. On the pitching side we added the usual trash back to the roster with Steve George (who had started on the weekend and would not be available for the Thunder series), Jason Holzmeister, and Antonio Pacheco. People wondered whether right-hander Noah Newhard would get his first call-up this September, and the answer was “not right now, maybe after the AAA season ends”. Newhard, the #27 pick from ’68 and the #50 prospect, had only reached St. Pete in July.

Raccoons (60-71) vs. Thunder (71-58) – September 1-3, 2070

Well over .500 and yet even weller beaten at 19 games out of first place in the South that had escalated quickly, the Thunder brought the #6 offense and #3 pitching in the league, and a +41 run differential. What they didn’t bring was a whole group of regulars including Danny Baca, Jose Palominos, and Coby Thore, plus a bunch of relivers, that were all on the DL. They had already taken the season series from the Coons, 5-1.

Projected matchups:
Tony Gaytan (8-12, 4.11 ERA) vs. Luis Ramirez (9-9, 4.20 ERA)
Vinny Morales (7-9, 3.44 ERA) vs. Ken Nielsen (11-8, 3.38 ERA)
Gabriel Rios (6-1, 2.63 ERA) vs. Alfredo Picun (9-9, 5.15 ERA)

The Thunder had two southpaw starters – and we’d see neither of them as Chris Hale (9-6, 3.01 ERA) and Jose Aguilar (8-4, 2.56 ERA) had pitched on Saturday and Sunday.

The Coons officially went to a 6-man rotation for the rest of the year, adding Val Centeno back into the starter pack. He was put into the spot behind Rios to split the left-handers Rios and Jimmyboy.

And after all that admin, the Monday opener was rained out and we got a double-header for Tuesday. Ace! The Thunder then chose to begin the series with Ken Nielsen.

Game 1
OCT: RF J. Reyes – 2B C. Gutierrez – 1B I. Stone – C Bohannon – LF B. Johnston – SS B. Robinson – 3B T. Santiago – CF Zambrano – P Nielsen
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – RF Corral – 3B Gallo – 1B Gomez – C Brown – P Gaytan

Gaytan retired the first seven Thunder before Eduardo Zambrano singled and stole second, but was ultimately stranded. By then the Coons had already scattered three singles without scoring. Gaytan struck out himself with Gallo in scoring position in the second inning, and in the fourth we got Big Wharton and Gallo to the corners before Dan Gomez smacked into a double play. Gaytan allowed two hits through five innings, then hit a double himself with one out in the bottom 5th. Nielsen walked Humph and threw a wild pitch, and Yocum then plated both runners with a single to center. Nielsen somehow completely lost it, walked the bags full with Katz and Wharton, couldn’t field Corral’s roller that scored a run as an infield single, and conceded another run on a Gallo groundout before he was yanked, down 4-0. Gomez flew out against Jason Stine to end the inning.

The Thunder wasted a single each in the next two innings, but got Zambrano on with a leadoff single in the eighth. He got to second on a groundout, and then went for home when Jon Reyes singled to center, but Wharton got another outfield assist in throwing out the runner at the plate. Gaytan batted for himself in the bottom of the inning, and then returned for the ninth despite 107 pitches on the clock. He allowed another single to Stone in the ninth, but retired three others to put the game away and finally post that shutout that the Raccoons were failing to get all the way over the hump for all of last week. 4-0 Critters! Corral 3-4, RBI; Gaytan 9.0 IP, 6 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 7 K, W (9-12) and 1-4, 2B;

Gaytan threw his third career shutout on 129 pitches, but if there’s a pitcher on the staff that can do that, it’s him with his 20 stamina rating.

Humph went hitless and wasn’t asked to play two games in a day right away. Him, Wharton, and Corral all had the second game off. In fact, only Katz and Yocum started both games.

Game 2
OCT: RF J. Reyes – 2B C. Gutierrez – 1B I. Stone – LF B. Johnston – SS B. Robinson – 3B T. Santiago – C Jack – CF Zambrano – P L. Ramirez
POR: 2B Yocum – CF Otal – 3B Katzman – LF van Otterdijk – C Flowe – SS Mireles – 1B Murcia – RF Colter – P Morales

The Thunder got on the board in the first inning against Vinny Morales, as Reyes singled, stole his 37th base, and then scored on an Ian Stone double down the rightfield line. Zambrano tacked on a run with a solo homer in the second, and Stone homered in the third before Bryan Johnston and Brian Robinson whacked a pair of doubles to run the score to 4-0, but Robinson was left on base. Morales had NOTHING and was yanked after 3.1 innings and after giving up another run on hits by Reyes and Gutierrez in the fourth. Pacheco, the useless ragdoll, then gave up another homer to Stone, his 27th on the year. Edgar Gutierrez finally shut up the Thunder bats after seven runs in four innings, pitching two goose eggs onto the board in the fifth and sixth. The Raccoons had three singles through five innings, so there wasn’t a whole lot to say about an exciting rally going on. Sullivan pitched a scoreless innings, while Holzmeister got two outs in the eighth before McMahan replaced him with the bases loaded to strike out Grant Anker to get out of the inning – it wasn’t Holzmeister’s fault entirely though, since the inning would have been over if Zambrano hadn’t begun the inning by reaching on a third strike not caught by Flowe, allowing Zambrano to reach first base. Flowe was then double-switched out for Willie Jalomo when McMahan entered.

Ramirez kept the Coons shut out into the bottom 8th, but then gave up a stray homer to Jamie Colter. Bottom 9th, and Katz led off with a single before Humph batted for the Otter and reached on Tony Santiago’s error. Big Wharton batted for McMahan, but hit into a fielder’s choice at second. Mireles hit an RBI single off Jon McGinley, but a double play crashed into by Corral ended the game. 7-2 Thunder. Katzman 2-4; Colter 2-3, HR, RBI; Gutierrez 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 3 K;

Game 3
OCT: RF J. Reyes – 1B Bonner – C Bohannon – LF B. Johnston – 3B T. Santiago – 2B C. Gutierrez – SS Yin – CF Zambrano – P Picun
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – RF Corral – C Flowe – 3B Murcia – 1B Colter – P Rios

Humph and Katz were on base in the first inning, but Wharton grounded out and Corral lined out to Ryan Bonner to keep them in scoring position. Fortunes improved in the following frame though, when Rafael Murcia and Jamie Colter hit a pair of 1-out singles to take to the corners, Picun plated Murcia with a wild pitch and Humph doubled home the rest with two outs. He was left by Yocum, then. The Thunder had neither hits nor strikeouts against Rios the first time through, so things could still go either way there. It went the way of the scoreboard in the fourth then as Martin Bohannon hit a double to right and Santiago landed an RBI single in left to get a run on the board before both Gutierrez and Wu-ti Yin flew out to Corral to keep Santiago stranded.

Colter narrowly missed another homer ending the bottom 4th, but the Coons didn’t have to wait much longer as Gabriel Rios socked a leadoff jack to right off Picun in the bottom 5th, extending the lead to 3-1 again! Humph then walked and was caught stealing, while Katz singled with two outs and stole second, but Wharton walked and Corral whiffed to strand them both. Teams then mostly made outs for the next two innings before the Thunder knocked out Rios with three singles in the eighth inning as Reyes, Bonner, and Johnston all landed hits. Reyes scored, and the tying and go-ahead runs were on the corners with two down for Nava to come in to face Santiago. The Thunder *obviously* moved to bring Ian Stone off the bench, but Nava prevailed with a swinging strikeout in a full count. The Coons stranded an unearned pair of their own in the bottom 8th as van Otterdijk reached in place of Corral on Jon McGinley’s own error; and then McGinley also walked Murcia, but the pinch-hitting Mireles grounded out to end the inning. Valentin retired the Thunder in order to take the series, though. 3-2 Coons. Humphries 1-2, 2 BB, 2B, RBI; Katzman 2-4; Rios 7.2 IP, 6 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 6 K, W (7-1) and 1-3, HR, RBI;

Rios said after the game in an interview that he didn’t know how to feel about his first career home run, since he was used to hating home runs. Can’t wait for the Agitator to spin that into a whole thing.

Raccoons (62-72) vs. Titans (64-68) – September 4-7, 2070

The Titans were closer to first place than the Thunder, despite being under .500. They also led the season series against the Coons, 6-5, and were hitting the second-most homers while barely outpacing Adam Yocum for stolen bases as a team. They had the worst D, but one of the best pen. Fascinating misfit team! Overall they were fifth in runs scored and ninth in runs allowed, with a -5 run differential (Coons: -28). Pitcher Aiden Shaw was the only player on the DL (but the Coons’ DL was now empty).

Projected matchups:
Val Centeno (2-3, 5.29 ERA) vs. Bryce Wallace (3-12, 4.04 ERA)
Jimmy Wharton (9-8, 3.95 ERA) vs. Matt Nelson (7-9, 4.95 ERA)
Nick Walla (8-10, 4.02 ERA) vs. Mike Bell (14-5, 3.18 ERA)
Tony Gaytan (9-12, 3.90 ERA) vs. Adam McDonald (10-10, 4.10 ERA)

The Titans had a left-hander, Jesse Cruise (3-6, 4.87 ERA), and we’d apparently dance our way around him, too.

Game 1
BOS: SS E. Gonzales – CF Marcotte – C D. Johnson – RF M. Garcia – 2B Jer. White – 3B D. Miller – LF McInnis – 1B Starwalt – P B. Wallace
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – C Flowe – RF van Otterdijk – 3B Gallo – 1B D. Gomez – P Centeno

Val Centeno had a scoreless first, gave up a solo homer to Manuel Garcia leading off the second before putting two more runners on base in the inning, and then was ****** into oblivion in a 6-run third inning that he didn’t even finish where every Titan and their mother reached base. Garcia doubled in two more and then they kept just singling away. Victor Ramirez replaced him and got his former teammate Eddie Marcotte out on a single pitch and a fly out to right before the Coons’ 7-8 batters walked to begin the bottom 3rd and Ramirez bunted into a 5-U force play and Humph crashed into a double play, at which point the game was more or less over. Jake Flowe still hit into another double play in the fourth to get the ******* point home.

Holzmeister pitched a scoreless inning before Otal singled in his place in the bottom 5th, which loaded the bases along with van Otterdijk and Gallo on, and one out. Humph hit into another double play to resolve the issue. Steve George pitched two innings and gave up another run in the seventh on three hits, as if that mattered anymore. The Coons contained themselves and stayed off base the next two frames before loading the bags through some pinch-hitting against Kyle Houck in the eighth and presenting Katz with Colter, Corral, and Yocum all aboard and one out. Yes, yes he did. He hit into the fourth ******* double play in the game, 5-4-3. Pacheco then got the ball for the ninth, walked Danny Miller on four pitches, and left with a physical complaint. Valentin replaced him, struck out a pair, then allowed a single to Sergio Leon and a 2-run triple to Edgar Gonzales to make the tenner full. Dan Geiger struck out to end the inning. The Coons staved off the shutout when Tyler Wharton hit a leadoff double in the bottom 9th and scored on Gallo’s 2-out single against Mike Rocheford. Willie Jalomo hit another single, but the game then ended with Colter. 10-1 Titans. Yocum 2-4; T. Wharton 2-4, 2B; Gallo 2-3, BB, RBI; Jalomo (PH) 1-1; Otal (PH) 1-1; Colter (PH) 1-2;

Arf.

Game 2
BOS: SS E. Gonzales – CF Marcotte – 1B Goodwin – RF M. Garcia – 3B D. Miller – C D. Johnson – 2B Jer. White – LF S. Leon – P M. Nelson
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – RF Corral – 3B Murcia – 1B Colter – C Jalomo – P J. Wharton

The Titans came up with a no-lefty-sticks lineup for Jimmyboy, who retired them in order in the first two innings, but stumbled over the 7-8 batters White and Leon, who singled to begin the third, and the Titans got a run home on Nelson’s bunt and two groundouts. Katz had already hit into a double play in the first inning, while Colter doubled and Jalomo singled to begin the bottom 3rd, taking to the corners. The Titans expected a bunt, but Jimmyboy swung away and tied the game with an RBI double to left, and a pair was in scoring position with nobody out, so of course Humph and Yocum popped out and Katz grounded out… (polishes blunderbuss)

Forsaken Jimmy got two more zeroes on the board while Murcia hit into a double play in the fourth, then hit another double with two outs and nobody on in the bottom 5th. This time he actually scored on Humphries’ double into the leftfield corners and took a 2-1 lead for himself. Yocum left Humph stranded, however, and after the Coons scattered two singles in the sixth, Curt Goodwin tied the game with a leadoff jack in the seventh. Manuel Garcia walked, Danny Miller singled, the Coons sent Danny Nava, who allowed another single to David Johnson to load the bases with nobody out, but then got White to pop out and rung up Leon, and then faced only the pitcher. (flicks a smile for a one-thousandth of a second)

Down 4-2 after Matt Nelson’s inevitable 2-out, 2-run single, the Raccoons saw Gallo on base by drawing a walk in the #9 spot in the bottom 7th, and then Humphries hit into a double play. Katz reached on an error in the eighth and was forced out by Wharton, who was stranded when Corral grounded out to second. Murcia, Mireles, and van Otterdijk then went down in order against lefty Tyler Gleason in the ninth. 4-2 Titans. J. Wharton 6.0 IP, 4 H, 4 R, 4 ER, 1 BB, 4 K, L (9-9) and 2-2, 2 2B, RBI;

This team.

Antonio Pacheco (1-0, 9.58 ERA) would no longer take part in the disasterclass on display here, as he hit the DL with an inflamed rotator cuff and was done for the year. The Coons reached even deeper between the couch cushions and replaced him with another southpaw, Gabe Gomez, a 24-year-old Dominican that the cat (scout) had dragged in eight years ago on a fishing trip to the Dom. Rep., and who had since made a living mostly in Ham Lake for almost four years. He had made 22 appearances (two starts) in AAA this year for a 3.38 ERA, but was walking as many as he was striking out. John Reynolds was struck off the 40-man roster to make room.

Game 3
BOS: LF McInnis – CF Marcotte – C D. Johnson – RF M. Garcia – 2B Jer. White – 3B D. Miller – SS Robichaud – 1B Starwalt – P M. Bell
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – RF Corral – 1B Murcia – 3B Gallo – C Brown – P Walla

Nick Walla gave up Marcotte’s 22nd homer of the year to fall behind 1-0 in the first, so no shutout this time around, either; but Walla struck out Marcotte the next time ‘round to end the top 3rd, after which Sam Brown walked and was forced out on Walla’s bad bunt. Humphries doubled, but Walla had to hold at third base – but he got home on Yocum’s groundout to tie the game. Humph was left on third base when Katz grounded out. A scoreless fourth got Walla’s ERA into the 3’s again, and he kept holding the Titans to two hits through six innings before Katz gave him a lead after all with a solo homer to left in the bottom 6th. Back-to-back power by Wharton made it 3-1, but Walla stumbled in the seventh, nearly gave up a homer to Garcia, the fly being caught at the fence by Corral, and then Jeremy White drew a walk and ended the inning being thrown out by Wharton at third base on a Jared Robichaud single.

Walla left the game after just 80 pitches when Morgan Jones and Matt McInnis hit a pair of 1-out singles off him in the eighth inning and the power department came back to the plate. Nava came in, rung up Marcotte, and ran a full count on Johnson before the backstop popped out to Corral in shallow right. Valentin then put the game away without much drama in the ninth inning. 3-1 Critters. Corral 2-4; Walla 7.1 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 5 K, W (9-10);

Walla’s ERA reached 3.90 by the time of his removal. If not for the Marcotte homer to start with we might have been tempted to have him stay in the game and try for another shutout and give up a 3-run homer to Marcotte instead.

…and then it was Southpaw Sunday after all as the Titans changed assignments and sent Jesse Cruise (3-6, 4.87 ERA) for the series finale after all!

Game 4
BOS: SS E. Gonzales – CF Marcotte – RF M. Garcia – 3B D. Miller – LF McInnis – C Ferenczy – 2B Robichaud – 1B Starwalt – P Cruise
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – 3B Katzman – CF T. Wharton – RF van Otterdijk – SS Mireles – 1B Murcia – C Spink – P Gaytan

Gaytan also got the first-inning solo homer treatment from Marcotte, but struck out four in the first three innings otherwise, while the Coons brought up the minimum with their vaunted all-righty top of the order against the mediocre southpaw on the hill for Boston. Wharton walked, but was immediately doubled up by the Otter. Boston’s 2-3-4 then hit three long fly balls in the fourth inning, all of which were somehow caught on or at the warning track, one in left and two in center. While Cruise continued to no-hit the Coons, Gaytan allowed a leadoff single to McInnis in the fifth, then drilled fourth-string Boston catcher Rick Ferenczy out of the game; Matt Goatley replaced him. Robichaud’s fielder’s choice grounder and Danny Starwalt’s 6-4-3 roller to short killed the inning for Boston, though. Wharton drew another leadoff walk in the bottom 5th and this time was simply stranded.

Gaytan was behind everybody by the sixth inning, so that was nice, but whacked a double in the bottom 6th to take the no-hitter off the board. Whee? He only got one more out, walking Miller and giving up a hit to McInnis to begin the seventh. Goatley grounded out, but Robichaud this time drove in two with a single. Gutierrez replaced him and struck out the 8-9 batters to get out of the inning.

Bottom 7th, and a leadoff walk for Katz this time. Wharton reached on an error, van Otterdijk flew out to left, and then Mireles hit a scratch single, loading the bags with the tying runs. Murcia absolutely crashed into a 5-4-3 double play and this inning died a pointless death as well. Marcotte doubled and Garcia hit an RBI single to get a run off Ramirez in the eighth, while Tony Spink’s leadoff single got wrapped up in another 5-4-3 when Gallo pinch-hit for Ramirez in the eighth. The unspeakably ***** bunch of *********** then scored a run after all when Humphries singled, stole second, and scored on a Yocum single, but the inning ended with Katz. Gabe Gomez then made his ABL debut in the ninth and got the 5-6-7 in order, striking out Goatley and Robichaud. Gleason then put the lid on the pot. 4-1 Titans.

*********.

In other news

September 1 – The Indians beat the Falcons in a rain-shortened, seven-inning, 5-2 game.
September 2 – A walkoff balk by PIT MR Jorge Sanchez (1-6, 4.12 ERA, 3 SV) gives the Pacifics a 2-1 win.
September 3 – SFW SP/MR Ed Caulk (11-5, 4.06 ERA, 7 SV) has a whole tire and wheel fall onto his foot while changing the tires on his truck and will miss two weeks with a foot contusion.
September 3 – Five Loggers players hit home runs in a 12-1 rout of the Knights.
September 3 – The Gold Sox take ten innings to beat the Buffaloes in a 1-0 walkoff, the game-ending single coming from DEN OF/1B Steve Killelea (.349, 1 HR, 40 RBI).
September 4 – The Knights fire off a 7-run rally in the ninth inning to send a game in Tijuana to extra innings, only to lose, 9-7, on a 2-run walkoff home run by INF Corey Vazquez (.319, 9 HR, 29 RBI).
September 5 – Knights rookie OF David Mendoza (.283, 21 HR, 84 RBI) is done for the season after suffering a concussion.
September 6 – Season over also for Wolves 1B Jeremy McDermott (.286, 24 HR, 87 RBI) thanks to a sprained ankle.
September 7 – Rebs C Ramon Lopez (.271, 5 HR, 53 RBI) pumps out five hits and drives in six runs in a 17-7 football score win against the Capitals. The output includes a double and a grand slam off Washington’s Khalil Cowan (1-0, 5.23 ERA).

Player of the Week (FL): SAC RF/CF Aaron Warner (.286, 2 HR, 28 RBI), clipping .500 (10-20) with 2 HR, 4 RBI
Player of the Week (CL): LVA 3B/2B/RF Matt Rodewald (.248, 14 HR, 60 RBI), socking .400 (6-15) with 4 HR, 10 RBI

Complaints and stuff

Look, the Portland Double Plays are back. They hit into FOURTEEN double plays this week, paradoxically led by Humphries, who fell face-first into three of them. Katz, Otter, and Murcia each had two double plays, and Corral, Gallo, Flowe, Brown, and Gomez also felt the need to chip some in. Disgusting.

Humphries batted 3-for-18 (all doubles, somehow) and drew six walks in his first week back on the roster. He scored TWICE. This team. This bloody team.

We keep the 6-man rotation from here, because nobody on this team is going for awards or milestones anyway. Although, if Centeno delivers another start like that against the damn Elks, he might as well be sent back to Ciudad Guayana.

The team will hit Elk City from Monday to Wednesday. Off day on Thursday, and then three at home with the Crusaders. Since we have a day off every week now, and thus six games a week with six starters, until the merciful conclusion of the season all the weekends will now be Jimmyday, Walladay, and Gayday.

What’s there to snicker, Cristiano?

Fun Fact: Ciudad Guayana is not in Guayana.

That’s about as much gaiety as I can muster at this point of the season.

[Westheim]

Raccoons (63-75) @ Canadiens (70-66) – September 8-10, 2070

As if the damn Elks winning and the Raccoons losing wasn’t bad enough, no – they had to make us play them as well! Ugh! The Coons had six games to blow a 7-5 lead in the season series, and the Elks probably had another week or so to pretend that they were in playoff contention of some sort at almost ten games out. They only had a +2 run differential on the fourth-best offense and a crummy pitching staff that had Juan Rosado and a bunch of relievers on the DL (plus infielder Andy Ratliff). They were hitting the third-most dingers though, so as usual the Raccoons were in danger.

Projected matchups:
Vinny Morales (7-10, 3.70 ERA) vs. Nick Waldron (15-9, 4.72 ERA)
Gabriel Rios (7-1, 2.60 ERA) vs. Mario Rivera (2-1, 4.47 ERA)
Val Centeno (2-4, 6.69 ERA) vs. Adam Molloy (14-7, 4.44 ERA)

Three more right-handers to be perplexed by.

Game 1
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – RF Corral – 3B Gallo – C Flowe – 1B D. Gomez – P Morales
VAN: SS Barraza – LF E. Campos – 1B H. Moreno – RF Lozada – CF D. Moore – 3B C. Castro – C J. Contreras – 2B Terrazas – P Waldron

Nick Waldron left the game with an injury after facing just two batters and was replaced with Robbie Lingard, who was thus in the lead after just one out collected when Eddie Campos singled, stole second, and scored on a bloop single by Hector Moreno in the bottom 1st, and was hit for after just one more inning when his spot came up in the bottom 2nd after Morales had just cluelessly ****** the bases full with a leadoff single by Carlos Castro and walks to Jonathan Contreras and Juan Terrazas. Jeff Hawkins and Roberto Barraza both drove in two runs and the game was basically over at that point.

Tyler Wharton hit a pair of leadoff doubles in the second and fourth inning and didn’t score on either occasion, while Dan Gomez reached on a duck snort roller on the infield to begin the third inning and came home on a Humphries hit in the third inning – not that it sparked a major rally. Morales didn’t allow a base runner after the 4-run bashing in the second until Contreras and Terrazas hit back-to-back 2-out singles in the bottom of the sixth. With left-handed batter Ben Craig pinch-hitting, we brought in our newest piece of ****, Gabe Gomez, who gave up an RBI single, then walked the bags full AND walked in a run against Campos before being catapulted out of the game again. Steve George got a groundout from Moreno to end the ******* inning. The highlight of the Raccoons’ offensive ambitions in the later half of the game was getting Yocum and Katz on base in the eighth inning and Wharton then bumbling into a double play. 7-1 Canadiens. T. Wharton 2-4, 2 2B; D. Gomez 2-4; George 2.1 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 0 K;

Game 2
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – C Flowe – 3B Gallo – RF van Otterdijk – 1B D. Gomez – P Rios
VAN: SS Barraza – 3B Forrest – CF D. Moore – RF Lozada – 1B H. Moreno – C J. Contreras – LF J. Hawkins – 2B Terrazas – P M. Rivera

Rios ran no fewer than six 3-ball counts the first time through the Elks order, allowing two walks – Barraza flew out on a 3-0 ball to begin the bottom 1st before they noticed that Rios was completely outta whack – and two hits. Contreras drove in Moreno’s leadoff walk with a double in the bottom 2nd, then scored himself when Gallo couldn’t field Barraza’s 2-out roller with sufficient urgency and gave up an RBI infield single. (buries face in the pillows) Rios ended up being yanked after just 3.2 innings, six walks, three hits, and no strikeouts, after Barraza hit a clean RBI single in the fourth. Victor Ramirez replaced him, but gave up another run on Adam Forrest’s and Dan Moore’s hits before Lozada grounded out. The Coons had a Katz hit and absolutely nothing else through four innings of being 4-0 behind.

Mario Rivera quite effortlessly 3-hit the Raccoons through seven innings before Benito Otal batted for the pitcher and doubled with one out in the eighth inning. Humphries flew out to right and allowed him to reach third base, and Yocum walked. The tying run appeared in the on-deck circle, but Katz struck out before Wharton could get a chance to do no damage after all. Rivera continued to finish the game for a 4-hit shutout with ten strikeouts. 4-0 Canadiens. Katzman 2-4, 2B; Otal (PH) 1-1, 2B;

(looks maximally unamused)

Game 3
POR: LF Humphries – RF Otal – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – 3B Murcia – 2B Mireles – 1B D. Gomez – C Brown – P Centeno
VAN: SS Barraza – LF E. Campos – 1B H. Moreno – CF D. Moore – 3B C. Castro – C J. Contreras – RF Bustillos – 2B Terrazas – P Molloy

The worst one was to come yet, though, as the Raccoons had a Katz single in the first on Wednesday and then … well, nothing more after that. Centeno began with a 1-2-3 first, but the sounds off the bats became louder gradually, and eventually the damn Elks began the bottom 4th with a pair of singles by Campos and Moreno. Centeno, who had not walked anybody so far, then lost Dan Moore on balls to fill the bags with nobody out, walked Castro to force a run home, walked Contreras to force a run home, and then gave up a slam over the fence in right to force four more runs home. It was so bad a beating that I pushed the bucket of donuts Maud had brought to the office for this game away and began to suck on my thumb instead.

Three singles by Murcia, Mireles, and Corral (in the #9 hole) scored but a single run in the fifth inning before Humphries ended the inning with a grounder to second base. Steve George pitched an inning before the Raccoons gave the 5-6-7 sequence in the bottom 6th to Gabe Gomez, who got Castro out before giving up a single, another single, another single, a single to the ******* pitcher, and then nailed Barraza and was disposed of. Campos got another run home with a groundout against Ramirez, who whiffed Moreno to end the inning. The rest of the pen then trundled the game towards its merciless conclusion without further attacks of diarrhea to the brain and/or central nervous system. Yocum plated an unearned run in the eighth by grounding out to allow Sam Brown to score from third. The catcher didn’t gain a single base by an act of actual Raccoons offense, given the error and a wild pitch that had already occurred up to then. 9-2 Canadiens. Corral (PH) 1-1, RBI; Colter (PH) 1-1;

I don’t care whether they have their dens here – raise the drawbridge over the Columbia, I say!!

Raccoons (63-78) vs. Crusaders (62-77) – September 12-14, 2070

The teams were tied for last, and the Raccoons had another 9-6 season series lead to blow here. New York scored the fewest runs in the league (yes, you could do worse than THIS), and allowed the fourth-fewest, but it would probably be enough for a string of 2-1 wins for them. They had a -85 run differential (Coons: -57). They had so far hit the fewest longballs, but never underestimate Tony Gaytan. Notable injuries included Russell Anderson and Bryant Box.

Projected matchups:
Jimmy Wharton (9-9, 4.02 ERA) vs. Colt Long (8-6, 3.76 ERA)
Nick Walla (9-10, 3.90 ERA) vs. Nick Robinson (5-3, 3.74 ERA)
Tony Gaytan (9-13, 3.91 ERA) vs. Dennis Marck (9-10, 3.33 ERA)

Here came the southpaws – both Long and Robinson coming from the off side at the brown-hatted futilities. Robinson and Marck had started ends of a double header on Monday, so they could be flipped around in those last two games of the week as well.

Game 1
NYC: C Marty – 2B Philpot – 3B Reber – CF B. Davidson – RF Ospina – LF Griffin – SS R. Ortiz – 1B Ledesma – P C. Long
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – 3B Katzman – CF T. Wharton – RF van Otterdijk – SS Mireles – 1B Murcia – C Jalomo – P J. Wharton

The Crusaders took a 3-0 lead with 2-out hits in the second inning, getting a gap triple from Tony Griffin, who scored on a Robert Ortiz single, and then Raul Ledesma hit his second career homer in 168 at-bats. The Coons barely got van Otterdijk across on a leadoff double in the bottom 2nd as Mireles grounded out and Murcia cut it close on a sac fly to Willie Ospina. Jimmyboy grounded out to first base to begin the bottom 3rd, but then Humphries singled and Yocum reached on a throwing error by Long, who tried to start a 1-6-3 double play, but didn’t look and didn’t see that the “6” part of the equation was nowhere near second base. Katz’ slight single loaded the bags with one out for Tyler Wharton, who hit a big … double play grounder to short to MURDER the inning. (hits head against door frame repeatedly)

Instead we somehow scratched a run together in the fourth on Mireles and Jalomo singles, only for Yocum with an error and Jimmyboy with a lack of finesse to give it right back on a 2-out RBI single by Ryan Philpot in the top 5th, 4-2. Jimmy also felt a tweak and left the game with Luis Silva, so there was that on top of everything else. Holzmeister replaced him and got Kyle Reber out, and the bottom 5th began with Humph and Yocum on base and nobody out against Long. Katzman now filed into the double play and The Last Wharton popped out.

The Coons then remained tantalizingly close in terms of the score, though emotionally detached and competitively distant until the ninth inning, when McMahan came in to get two innocent outs from the left-handed hitting Ospina and he right-handed Griffin, but got neither, and instead gave up two runs on a four-pitch walk, another Griffin triple, and Ortiz’ sac fly. Long pitched a complete-game 8-hitter, somehow. 6-2 Crusaders. Humphries 2-3, BB;

Tyler Wharton had a mild oblique strain that might actually disrupt our carefully laid out plans for a 6-man rotation. Walladay and Gayday might move up a bit on the following weekends. – (looks at Cristiano doing a wheelie in the far corner) – There are apparently no complaints about that.

Game 2
NYC: SS Roza – C Marty – RF Ospina – CF B. Davidson – 3B Reber – LF Griffin – 2B E. Gallegos – 1B Ledesma – P N. Robinson
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – 3B Katzman – CF T. Wharton – SS Mireles – RF van Otterdijk – 1B Murcia – C Jalomo – P Walla

Something odd happened on Saturday, and I don’t really know how to describe it, but… there were runs in the game, but it was the Raccoons that scored them? Totally new approach to the game, I know, but Wharton reached on an error and Mireles also got on, and both scored on a van Otterdijk double to left in the bottom 2nd. Willie Jalomo also got the Otter home to make it 3-0 for the brown team. Of course we can not have nice things, to Nick Walla HAD TO give up a leadoff walk to Esteban Gallegos and then three straight 2-out singles and two runs in the very next half-inning. Katz doubled home Yocum in the bottom 3rd, 4-2, but then was left on base himself.

Walla was minding his own business for a while, and the Raccoons got Humphries and Katz on in the bottom 5th and both did a double steal. The Crusaders then declined to pitch to the ice cold Wharton, got a force at home on Mireles’ grounder, but Robinson plated a run with a wild pitch and walked van Otterdijk, leading to his dismissal. Dave Hyman then rung up Murcia to leave a whole bunch of runners on base. Ryan Marty and Ospina hit leadoff singles off Walla in the sixth, but Davidson’s double play grounder and Reber popping out to short ended the inning. Walla was then himself doubled up by Humphries after daring to hit a single in the bottom 6th. Katz hit into another double play the inning after, but Walla had found his groove by now and was clicking off the Crusaders one by one. Only one purple hat reached base in the last three innings (Davidson singling in the ninth) and he was immediately doubled off on Reber’s grounder to short to end the game. 5-2 Coons. Walla 9.0 IP, 6 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 1 BB, 4 K, W (10-10) and 1-2;

Nick Walla finished his third complete game of the season (and third straight W) in 94 pitches.

Game 3
NYC: SS Roza – 2B Philpot – RF Ospina – CF B. Davidson – LF Griffin – C Marty – 3B E. Gallegos – 1B Ledesma – P Marck
POR: 2B Yocum – LF Otal – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – C Flowe – RF Corral – 3B Gallo – 1B Colter – P Gaytan

Katzman AND Gallo made errors in the first inning and the Crusaders’ Josh Roza and Willie Ospina also smacked doubles off Gaytan to take a quick 2-0 lead (one earned), but Otal and Katz also hit a pair of doubles to get a run back in the bottom 1st… and then Wharton struck out and Flowe grounded out. There was no brushing over the fact that Gaytan SUCKED though. Ospina doubled, Davidson hit an RBI single, and Gallegos socked a 2-out RBI triple in the third inning, and while Ledesma grounded out, Marck began the next inning right away with another single. Katz then hurt himself throwing Roza’s grounder and was replaced with Mireles. And Gaytan was absolutely garbage and was replaced with some other tosser after five innings.

Singles by Wharton, Corral, Gallo, and Colter – the last two to plate the first two – narrowed the score to 4-3 by the end of six innings, but Dan Gomez also struck out with the tying and go-ahead runs on base. Todd Sullivan was pitching two shutout innings for what looked like nothing as nobody reached in the seventh and to begin the eighth until Jake Flowe tumbled on base against Adam Dochterman and suddenly with two outs J.P. Gallo struck a home run to right that flipped the score. (confused look) Pedro Valentin retired the Crusaders in order in the ninth to put the game away. 5-4 Coons. Katzman 1-2, 2B, RBI; Gallo 3-3, HR, 3 RBI; Sullivan 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 2 K, W (2-0);

In other news

September 8 – Five of the eight games played on this Monday go extra innings, the longest affair being the Knights’ 6-2 win in Las Vegas that lasts 12 innings.
September 10 – A home run by NAS OF Tony Roman (.263, 29 HR, 85 RBI) wins the Blue Sox a 1-0 game in Pittsburgh.
September 12 – LVA 3B/2B/RF Matt Rodewald (.248, 14 HR, 60 RBI) had suffered an intercostal strain and was out for the rest of the season.
September 12 – 39-year-old WAS SP Ryan Musgrave (5-14, 5.82 ERA) is out with shoulder inflammation, which could also further limit his availability next April.
September 12 – DEN MR John Silver (5-5, 3.36 ERA, 13 SV) is found guilty of a walkoff balk that gives the Scorpions a 3-2 win.
September 13 – Loggers RF Dave Wright (.257, 7 HR, 47 RBI) would miss the rest of the regular season with knee tendinitis, but should be available for the playoffs.

Player of the Week (FL): LAP LF/RF John Miller (.309, 25 HR, 86 RBI), batting .429 (9-21) with 3 HR, 6 RBI
Player of the Week (CL): MIL 1B/RF/LF Cesar Ramirez (.329, 16 HR, 76 RBI), hitting .440 (11-25) with 1 HR, 6 RBI

Complaints and stuff

(pours random pills into an already toxic looking mix of Capt’n Coma, chocolate Wheaties, and strips of barbed wire)

Katz will likely miss the rest of the season with shoulder tendinitis, because we can’t ******* have anything nice.

Gallo’s game winner on Sunday was the only ******* homer hit by this rancid hunchbacked team all ******* week. Maud, make them go away, I’m begging you!

Next week we’ll go on a fun little road trip to Boston and the Bay. Not one, but TWO places were nothing good ever happens!

Fun Fact: The Raccoons vaunted top four of the lineup spent all of 33 games together this year.

Yocum missed a few weeks in April. Wharton was sidelined for a pawful of games in early May. Humphries then missed three-and-a-half ******* months. And now Katz was gone for the rest of the year.

I can’t win games like that….!!

[Westheim]

The Coons were off on Monday, which meant we had ample time to bury John Katzman and the hope for a halfway decent finish to the season.

The AAA season had ended on the weekend and the Alley Cats had finished well beaten and in last place. We brought up another arm, but decided against Noah Newhard. How delighted would you be with some more of Matt Schmieder? We also called up a spare infielder in Manny Arredondo while waiving reliever Mike Davis, who was out with a torn labrum anyway, to make room on the 40-man roster. Arredondo, going on 29, had gotten a singular at-bat with Portland in ’69, and would ride the bench, since Josh Mireles would take the starts at short. Like, all of them. MAYBE some for Murcia.

Monday was also where the Loggers quietly eliminated half of the CL North from mathematical playoff consideration by beating the Crusaders, 3-2. This put not only New York, but also the Critters and the Indians in a wooden box for 2070.

Raccoons (65-79) @ Titans (71-72) – September 16-18, 2070

The Titans held a 9-6 lead in the season series, and were fifth in runs scored and eighth in runs allowed. They had a +14 run differential. Starter Aiden Shaw was the only injury case. They ranked second in homers and second from the bottom in stolen bases, but I was confident we’d give up plenty of each.

Projected matchups:
Vinny Morales (7-11, 3.95 ERA) vs. Matt Nelson (8-10, 4.73 ERA)
Gabriel Rios (7-2, 2.88 ERA) vs. Mike Bell (15-6, 3.13 ERA)
Val Centeno (2-5, 7.38 ERA) vs. Jesse Cruise (5-6, 4.34 ERA)

Cruise was a left-hander, while Centeno was speculated by the Agitator to only get another start because of the Jimmy Wharton malaise.

Game 1
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – RF Corral – CF T. Wharton – SS Mireles – 3B Gallo – C Flowe – 1B D. Gomez – P Morales
BOS: SS E. Gonzales – CF Marcotte – C D. Johnson – RF M. Garcia – 2B Jer. White – LF McInnis – 3B D. Miller – 1B Starwalt – P M. Nelson

The Raccoons didn’t do anything with a Yocum double in the first inning, then loaded the bases with the 5-6-7 batters on straight singles to begin the second. Dan Gomez’ sac fly was as good as got as Morales fanned and Humphries lobbed one over for Edgar Gonzales to catch. While Vinny Morales struck out four in a row in the first two innings and allowed no base runners, the Coons got another Yocum double to begin the top 3rd. A wild pitch moved him to third before Corral walked. Wharton came through with a rousing RBI single, Mireles popped out, but J.P. Gallo found a hole on the left side to push an RBI single through. Jake Flowe knocked a 2-run double down the rightfield line, 5-0, Gomez walked, Morales flew out easily, Humphries drew another walk, and Yocum ended Nelson’s day with a 2-out, 2-run single with the bases loaded. Kyle Houck walked Corral, but Wharton then grounded out to short. Vinny didn’t allow a runner in the third inning, then slapped his own 2-out, 2-run single to drive in Flowe and Gomez in the fourth inning for a 9-0 lead. Humphries walked again and Yocum hit an RBI single to get to 10-0 and also rid of Houck.

The 14th hit of the game was the first the Titans landed, and it was a ****** infield roller that Manuel Garcia legged out for a base hit to begin the bottom 5th. Yocum then chipped in an error on Matt McInnis, Danny Miller hit another single, and they got an unearned run on Danny Starwalt’s groundout before PH Jared Robichaud popped out to leave two in scoring position. The Titans had another single in each of the next two innings but didn’t remotely qualify as a threat in either, and went quietly in the eighth, at the end of which complete-game-less Vinny Morales, Duke of the Low Stamina, was on 94 pitches, and still up by nine – or ten, once Steve Humphries hit his first Coons homer off Tyler Gleason in the ninth inning. Vinny then returned for the bottom 9th and got a first-pitch groundout from Garcia. Jeremy White flew out to Humphries on four pitches. McInnis was then kind enough to ground out on the very next pitch. 11-1 Raccoons. Yocum 4-5, 2 2B, 3 RBI; Gallo 3-5, RBI; Flowe 2-4, BB, 2B, 2 RBI; D. Gomez 3-4, 2B, RBI; Morales 9.0 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 0 ER, 0 BB, 9 K, W (8-11) and 1-5, 2 RBI;

And there it was, Vinny Morales’ first career complete game, on exactly 100 pitches.

Game 2
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – RF Corral – CF T. Wharton – SS Mireles – C Flowe – 3B Murcia – 1B D. Gomez – P Rios
BOS: 2B E. Gonzales – CF Marcotte – 1B Goodwin – RF M. Garcia – 3B D. Miller – C D. Johnson – 2B Jer. White – LF S. Leon – P M. Bell

Tyler Wharton tripled home the game’s first run (Corral) in the first inning, but Mireles whiffed and left him on base. For additional calmth, Gabriel Rios then walked three in the bottom 1st, although Eddie Marcotte was caught stealing before critical mass was achieved on the bases. Instead, Wharton upped the score to 2-0 with a solo homer to left-center, knocking out all the hard parts of a cycle by the fourth inning. Mireles reached on an error and Murcia singled to put Coons on the corners for Dan Gomez, whose 1-out single to center maintained the ”on the corners” status, but now with a 3-0 lead. Rios killed the inning with a 4-6-3 double play grounder, though. Corral added a solo homer with two gone in the fifth, but Wharton then grounded out.

Rios barely pitched five innings before being removed for having thrown 96 pitches. Curt Goodwin got him for a solo homer in the bottom 5th, but aside from that the Titans had left four hits and four walks on base. The Coons covered the next three innings with a mix of Holzmeister, Gabe Gomez, and Nava, who only gave up two singles between them and no Titan reached as far as third base in those three innings, setting up for Pedro Valentin with a 4-1 score. Jeremy White drew a leadoff walk, but Sergio Leon struck out. Robichaud pnch-hit and singled to right, and a throwing error by Corral caused havoc on the infield, allowing White to score while Robichaud stopped at second base. The tying run was now in the box, but Gonzales fanned and Marcotte popped out to end the game. 4-2 Raccoons. T. Wharton 2-4, HR, 3B, 2 RBI;

Four wins in a row to ruin the draft position.

No, at this point there is no result they can achieve that will not make me moan and bicker.

Game 3
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – RF van Otterdijk – CF T. Wharton – SS Mireles – 3B Murcia – 1B Spink – C Jalomo – P Centeno
BOS: SS E. Gonzales – CF Marcotte – C D. Johnson – RF M. Garcia – 2B Jer. White – LF McInnis – 3B D. Miller – 1B Starwalt – P Cruise

Van Otterdijk hit into a double play and Centeno walked two and gave up a run in the first inning, and I wasn’t quite sure which of them to strangle first. Humphries, van Otterdijk, and Wharton then loaded the bases with three singles and one out in the third inning, and the Coons turned the score around on an RBI single by Mireles and Murcia’s sac fly, while Tony Spink popped out to leave two more runners stranded – and Centeno gave up straight 1-out singles to Gonzales, Marcotte, and Johnson in the same inning to get the game tied again, before Manuel Garcia hit into a double play.

Centeno’s uselessness came to a head – after already offering another walk and single in the fourth inning – in the bottom 5th when the top 3 in the Boston lineup strafed him for straight hits to begin the inning, as Gonzales singled, Marcotte hit an RBI double, and Johnson found another single. He then drilled Garcia with a 1-2 pitch to load the bases and was execu- … removed from the game. Victor Ramirez wiggled out of the inning for one more run on White’s double play grounder, then struck out McInnis, but the Raccoons were now 4-2 down.

Otal and Yocum hit a pair of singles in the seventh, but got no help from van Otterdijk and Wharton, who ended the inning after already hitting into a double play in his previous at-bat. The Raccoons went in order in the eighth, but McMahan was taken deep by Danny Miller for a solo home run. 5-2 Titans. Yocum 2-4; van Otterdijk 2-4; Murcia 2-3, RBI; Otal (PH) 1-1;

Raccoons (67-80) @ Bayhawks (57-88) – September 19-21, 2070

The Bayhawks were in last place in the South but had an even record against the Raccoons this year, as we just couldn’t get through against this third-worst offense, worst pitching, and -133 run differential.

Projected matchups:
Nick Walla (10-10, 3.81 ERA) vs. Billy Thompson (7-13, 5.47 ERA)
Tony Gaytan (9-13, 3.95 ERA) vs. Ian Lowry (8-11, 4.83 ERA)
Jimmy Wharton (9-10, 4.07 ERA) vs. Liberio Ivo (8-12, 4.01 ERA)

No southpaws in sight here.

Jimmy Wharton was pushed to the end of the series to give him extra time to recover from the oblique strain.

Game 1
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – RF Corral – CF T. Wharton – 3B Gallo – C Flowe – SS Murcia – 1B D. Gomez – P Walla
SFB: SS Bruce – 3B K. Ball – RF J. Ward – CF Redding – LF Whetstine – 2B S. McLaughlin – C H. Valdez – 1B Eaton – P B. Thompson

Nick Walla was 3-0 with a 1.63 ERA in his last five outings, so obviously Ryan Bruce began the bottom 1st with a wallbanger double to left. He advanced on Keith Ball’s grounder and went home when Jake Ward flew out to Wharton, but what the big guy couldn’t tally in homers, he sure tried to make up for in outfield assists, because he shotgunned another runner out at the plate. Gallo doubled and Murcia singled him home for a lead in the top 2nd, and with two outs the Coons continued as Dan Gomez doubled to center, moving a pair into scoring position that Walla then cashed with a solid 2-run single to left-center, giving himself a 3-0 lead. He went to third on Humph’s single to left-center, scored on a wild pitch, and thus was up 4-0 before Yocum grounded out to end the inning. The struggles were not yet over for Walla on the hill though, as he gave up a single to Ryan Redding to begin the bottom 2nd, then nailed Chad Whetstine, but somehow wiggled his way out of that jam as well against the bottom of the order. Even then, he didn’t get a K until the fourth and the pitch count was up early.

By the fourth, the lead was 5-0 as Humph doubled home Murcia in that inning, while Walla allowed no runners in the middle innings, but also only got one more K on reliever Mark Mills, so hardly a reason to celebrate. Jake Ward drew a leadoff walk in the seventh, but remained on base. The pitch count was 87 after seven innings, so a shutout was unlikely, and the eighth inning dragged on after Hugo Valdez led off with a double in a full count. Todd Eaton grounded out, Brett Haus whiffed in a full count, and Bruce flew out to center in another full count, and so Walla was done after eight shutout innings. Manny Arredondo – in his first appearance since getting onto the roster – batted for him in the top of the ninth, then replaced Yocum at second while Holzmeister allowed a hit to Redding, but put the game away without undue drama in the ninth. 5-0 Critters. Humphries 2-5, 2B, RBI; Gallo 2-4, 2B; Walla 8.0 IP, 3 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 4 K, W (11-10) and 1-3, 2 RBI;

Game 2
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – 1B Otal – CF T. Wharton – RF Corral – 3B Gallo – SS Mireles – C Brown – P Gaytan
SFB: SS Bruce – 3B K. Ball – RF J. Ward – CF Redding – LF Whetstine – 2B S. McLaughlin – C H. Valdez – 1B Eaton – P Lowry

The Coons batted through the lineup and scored four runs on three hits and three walks despite only having Otal at first and two outs at one point. Wharton and Corral then drew walks to fill the bases, Gallo hit an RBI single, Mireles drew another walk, and Sam Brown singled in a pair before Gaytan flew out to center., Gaytan retired the first seven batters before Eaton hit a single, but was left on base by Lowry and Bruce.

While Lowry caught himself after the early beating, Humphries took another beating on a catch as he dove for a Ward liner to left in the fourth and remained on the ground, ball in glove, until Luis Silva dragged him off the field. Otal replaced him in leftfield, and Tony Spink entered the game batting and playing first. Lowry then began the bottom 4th, and while I was still whimpering by drilling Adam Yocum in the shoulder, and the next expensive toy left the lineup. Mireles moved to second and Murcia entered the game at short in his place.

With the Raccoons’ lineup thus perfectly castrated, the Bayhawks just needed to wait for some defensive stupidity, like Sam Brown’s clumsy fielding error in the bottom 6th to get a runner on base and maneuver him around to score an unearned run. The runner was Bruce, leading off, stole a base, and came home on Ward’s single. Gaytan kept pitching undeterred, and in the ninth batted for himself, somehow flunking his way on base when walked by Brad Yoxall. Otal and Wharton joined to fill the bases with two outs, and Corral drew another walk to push Gaytan across home plate. After Gallo grounded out, he finished the game with three quick outs from Ball, Ward, and Redding. 5-1 Raccoons. Gallo 2-5, RBI; Mireles 2-3, BB, 2B, RBI; Gaytan 9.0 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 0 ER, 0 BB, 4 K, W (10-13);

Adam Yocum’s shoulder was all the hues of blacks and blues on Sunday morning and he was listed as day-to-day, probably well into next week. That was still better than Steve Humphries’ sprained ankle, that put him out for the year and overall held him to a pathetic 52 games for the year. He went on the DL. Jesus Guerrero got a late replacement call-up.

Oh, that Sunday lineup. Oh, god. Oh, god.

Game 3
POR: SS Murcia – LF Otal – RF Corral – CF T. Wharton – C Flowe – 3B Gallo – 2B Mireles – 1B D. Gomez – P J. Wharton
SFB: SS Bruce – C M. Lopez – RF J. Ward – CF Redding – LF Whetstine – 2B S. McLaughlin – 3B Katz – 1B Eaton – P Ivo

Murcia flew out to Ward to begin the game, but Ward took a bad tumble on the turf and also left the game with an injury, being right away replaced with Dave Sturm, who made his second appearance of the season at age 27. The Coons took a 2-0 lead in the second when Flowe walked and Gallo homered, then left Mireles and Jimmyboy and a pair of singles on base. Jimmy allowed straight singles to Whetstine, Sean McLaughlin, and Calvin Katz in the bottom 2nd, but the bags remained loaded with a K on Eaton and Ivo’s groundout.

The score went up to 3-0 in the third on Corral’s and Big Wharton’s hits, and Flowe’s run-scoring groundout before Gallo chased a big strike three for the last out of the inning. Lil’ Wharton allowed another two singles to Bruce and Sturm in the inning, but Redding’s lineout to Gallo saved his bacon from extra bases and run(s). But the singles kept coming and eventually the Baybirds broke through when Bruce drove home Katz and Eaton with the third single of the bottom 4th and narrowed the score to 3-2. Mario Lopez worked a walk, but Mireles handled Sturm’s groundout to keep two stranded. Whetstine’s single and McLaughlin’s homer then flipped the score in the fifth, Jimmy Wharton put two more runners on base and eventually was disposed of rather early, now on the hook. All in all the Baybirds got him for *11* hits.

The Coons had the bases loaded with Gallo, who reached on an Eaton error, Mireles (single), and Colter, who was brutally drilled in the chest by Ivo with two outs. Murcia took the next pitch up the middle for a 2-run single and flipped the score back to 5-4 Portland, and also knocked out Ivo. Otal raked a 2-run double off Ricardo Orta, 7-4, scored on a Corral single, and Wharton also singled, but the inning ended with Flowe grounding out after five runs were scored in total.

Gutierrez pitched a scoreless inning before the Coons brought in Gabe Gomez for the seventh, but the left-handed tosser just put Whetstine and Katz on the corners for only one out and then was yanked and replaced with Sullivan, who got out of the inning, but conceded the lead runner, 8-5. Colter went deep to right off Yoxall to begin the top 8th, 9-5, and hits by Murcia, Otal, and Flowe added another run. Gallo grounded out, stranding two. Dan Gomez doubled with one gone in the ninth, then scored when Sturm dropped Colter’s fly for a 2-base error. Murcia flew out, and Guerrero batted for Otal and slapped an RBI single off Alan Deakin. Schmieder got the ball for the ninth and began with two long, long, long fly outs by Whetstine and McLaughlin before Katz shanked a triple into the right-center gap. He wasn’t missing the middle of the plate at all, except when he beaned Todd Eaton on base next. Hugo Valdez then pinch-hit and slapped an RBI single – but Eaton managed to get himself thrown out running the bases, and that completed the sweep. 12-6 Furballs. Murcia 2-6, 2 RBI; Otal 2-5, 2B, 2 RBI; Guerrero (PH) 1-1, RBI; Corral 2-4, RBI; T. Wharton 2-5, 2B; Mireles 2-5; D. Gomez 2-5, 2B; Colter 1-2, HR, RBI;

In other news

September 15 – CHA 1B Andy Metz (.278, 21 HR, 75 RBI) gets two hits in an 8-3 win against the Aces to reach 2,000 career hits. Metz also has a Rookie of the Year title, 322 career home runs, 1,199 RBI, and a pair of World Series rings to his name. In 2060 he led the CL in home runs despite only being traded from the Blue Sox to the Thunder in May.
September 15 – In the same game, a single gives LVA OF Josh Phelps (.299, 14 HR, 56 RBI) a 20-game hitting streak.
September 16 – TIJ SP Jason Brenize (13-7, 2.19 ERA) twirls 8.2 innings of a no-hitter against the Knights before giving up a 2-out double to ATL OF Jorge Soto (.291, 6 HR, 41 RBI), then has to settle for a 1-hit shutout.
September 17 – SAL OF Chris Bauer (.329, 17 HR, 84 RBI) is trying, knocking out five hits including a home run and a double, and drives in two runs, but the Wolves fall to the Pacifics, 9-3.
September 20 – Vegas SP Alex Duarte (13-10, 4.45 ERA) spins a 2-hit shutout with six strikeouts *and* hits a 3-run homer to beat the Crusaders, 8-0.
September 20 – Aces OF Victor Lorenzo (.318, 2 HR, 48 RBI) gets to spend the offseason rehabbing a broken elbow.
September 20 – DEN SP Walt Chicas (2-5, 3.67 ERA) will miss all of next season with a frayed flexor tendon in his elbow.

Player of the Week (FL): WAS 1B Armando Curiel (.380, 10 HR, 23 RBI), mashing .483 (14-29) with 4 HR, 9 RBI
Player of the Week (CL): VAN 1B Hector Moreno (.266, 19 HR, 70 RBI), batting .400 (12-30) with 3 HR, 9 RBI

Complaints and stuff

I am at odds with the baseball gods. What a wicked bunch!! Last week I pointed out that we only had the four prime bats together for 33 games this year… and now we can start the count on Wharton being the last man standing.

Every time I hear Armando Curiel I think “he’s still playing?”, but that’s because I mix him up with Ernesto Curiel, who IS still playing as hangers-on in AAA, and they’re not related, nor even from the same country. The 23-year-old Armando is Cuban, and the 33-year-old Ernesto is Mexican.

The string continues with the last six home games against the Aces and Loggers next week. After that one final mindless road trip to Indy and Elk City awaits.

Fun Fact: Nick Walla became the third Raccoons pitcher to win three 100’s on Friday.

His win was the 7,900th regular season W in franchise history, and he had already claimed #7,500 and #7,800 in earlier years.

The only other pitchers to match this feat of total coincidence are Ralph Ford, who did it during the Decade of Darkness for added difficulty, and Jonny Toner.

Ford beat the Aces on August 26, 2001 for #2,000; the Crusaders on June 6, 2004 for #2,200; and then the Indians on September 3, 2005 for #2,300.

Toner, pitching in noticeably better days one player generation later, got both the rickety franchise’s 3,400th W on April 13, 2018 *and* the 3,600th W on May 5, 2020 against the damn Elks, but the most outstanding of the three wins was the first one he got, #3,300 on October 2, 2016, when he struck out 18 Titans on Closing Day. This remains the most strikeouts by a CL pitcher in any game ever played, and ties the mark set by Washington’s Chris York in 2004. (Playoff record: LAP Brad Smith, 17, in 2016)

[Westheim]

Raccoons (70-80) vs. Aces (90-59) – September 22-24, 2070

The Aces had a chance for a hundred wins, but not really for the division title, being ten games behind the stomping Knights, and about to be eliminated from playoff consideration. They brought the #3 offense and #2 pitching to Portland, and also the quiet confidence that their young-ish team would be even better next year. They had already bagged the season series, 5-1. They also had a *pile* of injuries, including half of a lineup on the DL. Besides pitcher John Santamaria, they had Vic Lorenzo, Matt Rodewald, Alfredo Rosado, Jorge Caceres, Josh Phelps, and Jordan Hernandez all out of action, so in reality the Raccoons would lose to the Las Vegas Whos? There were so many 40-man roster players out injured that the Aces arrived with only 28 players including a reliever with just one appearance so far and SIX position players that had been in the lineup less than ten times all year.

Projected matchups:
Vinny Morales (8-11, 3.75 ERA) vs. Luis Ortiz (15-6, 3.23 ERA)
Gabriel Rios (8-2, 2.82 ERA) vs. Tim Henderson (9-11, 3.98 ERA)
Val Centeno (2-6, 7.53 ERA) vs. Danny Ryba (4-6, 3.79 ERA)

Only right-handed starters coming up in this series. Not sure why we were even bothering with more starts for Centeno…

Adam Yocum remained day-to-day to begin the week and was not expected to start any game in this series. He might appear as pinch-hitter, but why force things and/or bother?

Game 1
LVA: 3B Ji. Williams – RF A. Jones – SS Hatakeyama – C Haynes – 2B C. Cervantez – 1B L. Jimenez – CF Ben – LF McGrew – P L. Ortiz
POR: SS Murcia – LF Otal – RF Corral – CF T. Wharton – C Flowe – 3B Gallo – 2B Mireles – 1B D. Gomez – P Morales

The Las Vegas Leftovers didn’t bother Morales much the first time through while the Coons scored a cheap second-inning run on Wharton’s single, Flowe getting nicked, a balk, and a Gallo groundout, then masterfully left the second runner on third base. Benito Otal made it 2-0 with a homer in the bottom 3rd, and Corral and Wharton added 1-out singles, but the inning then fizzled out with groundouts from Flowe and Gallo.

Morales carried a 2-hitter through five innings, but had endured some full counts along the way and a shutout appeared unlikely at this point. Bottom 5th, Ortiz knocked Murcia with a fastball and gave up a double to Otal and a 3-run homer to Corral to bloom the score to 5-0. Wharton flew out to center, but Flowe doubled and Gallo walked. Mireles then slapped an RBI double up the leftfield line, Dan Gomez was walked intentionally, and Gabe Molina replaced Ortiz in a 6-0 game. The left-hander struck out Morales, but walked in another run against Murcia before Otal whiffed to end the inning. Murcia drove in another run in the bottom 7th, also with two outs, when he singled off right-hander Alex Santillan with Gomez and Vinny Morales on the corners, Morales having clipped a 2-out single himself.

Morales was still going through eight and holding the Aces to three hits, while the Aces’ Javier Huichapa walked the bags full with Corral, Wharton, and Manny Arredondo in the bottom 8th. Mireles hit a sac fly and Gomez hit an RBI single before Morales grounded out to end the inning, then retook the hill against the 2-3-4 batters, but gave up a leadoff single to Adam Jones, threw a wild pitch, and then allowed another single to Koji Hatakeyama before being removed from the game. Edgar Gutierrez inherited Aces on the corners and nobody out, struck out Jon McFadden, but then gave up a sac fly to Carlos Cervantez before finishing the game. 10-1 Furballs. Otal 2-5, HR, 2B, RBI; Corral 2-4, BB, HR, 3 RBI; T. Wharton 2-4; D. Gomez 1-2, 3 BB, RBI; Morales 8.0 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 4 K, W (9-11) and 1-5;

Game 2
LVA: CF Ji. Williams – LF Marazzo – SS Hatakeyama – C Haynes – 2B C. Cervantez – 1B L. Jimenez – RF McGrew – 3B J. Velazquez – P T. Henderson
POR: SS Murcia – LF Otal – RF Corral – CF T. Wharton – 2B Mireles – 1B D. Gomez – C Brown – 3B Jalomo – P Rios

Rios got bombed for four hits in the first inning, including three singles by Jimmy Williams, Nate Marazzo, and Hakateyama for a run before he got an out. Cervantez hit a 2-out RBI double after Chris Haynes and his 31 homers crumpled into a double play grounder. Rios remained wonky, allowed a hit to Henderson in the second, and then a triple to Hatakeyama, who scored on a groundout by Haynes in the third inning to get the score to 3-0, while the Coons disappeared in order against Henderson the first time through.

Otal singled and stole second base in the fourth, but that was about it for offense for the time being, while Rios pitched 6.1 largely abortive innings, didn’t have a clean inning until the sixth, bunted into a double play at one point, and left with PH Jon McFadden on second base. Holzmeister walked Marazzo when he replaced him, but then somehow got two groundouts from H&H in the 3-4 spots and didn’t surrender the inherited runner. Leo Jimenez reached on an uncaught third strike thrown by Steve George and messed up by Sam Brown in the eighth, then stole second and reached third base on a throwing error by Brown right afterwards, but was still stranded at third base by George.

All this time it felt like the Raccoons were as far behind as the Aces had been on Monday, but it was *still* a 3-0 game. Jamie Colter, who had entered the game in a double switch with George and was manning first base, then began the bottom 8th with a single. The inning continued with rain, and after Murcia grounded out Jesus Guerrero pinch-hitting for Otal against the southpaw Molina and hitting a double to left. Van Otterdijk batted for Corral, was met with righty ex-Coon Justin Cullum and struck out, but Big Wharton then socked a Big Blast and tied the game with a mighty 434-footer, all at once!

The game went into a rain delay after the inning, but resumed 30 minutes later. McMahan and Ramirez kept the game tied in the ninth before Yocum batted for the pitcher in the #6 spot that led off the bottom 9th, but struck out. The game went to extras, where Roy Ben hit a pinch-hit single off Pedro Valentin, but got himself caught stealing. Colter hit another leadoff single in the bottom 10th, but the Coons then popped out twice and van Otterdijk whiffed. The Coons sent Matt Schmieder into the 11th and he gave up a pinch-hit single to Adam Jones with two outs. Jones hurt himself on the swing and left the game, and pinch-runner John Harmsen was caught stealing to end that inning. The game dragged on and in the bottom 12th Sam Brown drew a leadoff walk before Willie Jalomo struck out trying to bunt, which he apparently also couldn’t do besides hit, field, or catch. It took Murcia’s 2-out single to even move the runner to second, a wild pitch by Huichapa to get him to third, and Guerrero ended up walking, bringing up the Otter with three out and two on in the tied game, while the guy you’d probably want at the dish, Big Wharton, was standing in the on-deck circle waiting for a bus that would never come. The count ran full, as if the bloody game was produced by Hollywood, and finally van Otterdijk chucked a ridiculously dramatic 420-footer to dead center that Roy Ben spiritedly ran after, but eventually ran out of real estate – WALKOFF! GRAAAAAAAAND! SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMM!!!! 7-3 Critters!! Guerrero (PH) 1-2, BB, 2B; van Otterdijk (PH) 1-3, HR, 4 RBI; Brown 2-4, BB; Colter 2-3;

(giddy screeches!)

Game 3
LVA: 3B Ji. Williams – CF Harmsen – SS Hatakeyama – C Haynes – 2B C. Cervantez – 1B L. Jimenez – RF McFadden – LF McGrew – P Ryba
POR: SS Murcia – 2B Mireles – RF Corral – CF T. Wharton – LF van Otterdijk – C Flowe – 3B Gallo – 1B D. Gomez – P Centeno

The Aces’ lineup of parking lot attendants slammed Centeno for three runs in the first inning, although in all fairness the damage was either done by Hatakeyama and Haynes’ 2-run homer, or in unearned fashion after a 2-out throwing error by Murcia. Regardless, it looked rather bleak for Centeno’s career going forwards, and that was before he bunted into a double play to erase a leadoff walk by Gomez in the bottom 3rd – although he also started a double play on a bunt by Ryba the inning after, following the McReplacements getting on base with one out on a single and a walk, respectively. Centeno bunted to force out Gomez AGAIN in the fifth inning, at which point I was going through my trading cards to tear his into lots of tiny little bits.

In the end, Centeno made it through seven innings without allowing any further damage against the Aces’ AAA team and Hatakeyama and Haynes, needing exactly 100 pitches for that, but also landed exactly ZERO strikeouts, at which point I found it hard to make up any more excused for him to get another start on the road next week. Ryba meanwhile was pitching a 2-hitter with impunity at the stretch, and while Flowe and Otal singled in the bottom 7th, both remained on base. Gabe Gomez couldn’t keep the left-handed Harmsen off base to begin the eighth, and Holzmeister gave up another 2-run homer to Haynes, who was now at 33 dingers with 103 RBI for the season, something no Raccoon would achieve even if we played until ******* Christmas. Ryba took his shutout into the ninth, but left the game after Flowe slapped another single. Cullum put the lid on the game. 5-0 Aces. Flowe 2-4; Otal (PH) 1-1;

Raccoons (72-81) vs. Loggers (91-61) – September 26-28, 2070

The Loggers had clinched the division on Wednesday, and had no chance to catch the Knights for best record in the league, so the air was out of the whole thing by now. They brought a 7-game winning streak along with their #2 offense and #4 pitching, and a +183 run differential. Despite all of that, they were 7-8 against the Raccoons this year and were looking to at least get even. Dave Wright and Nick Walters were the only injury concerns for them right now.

Projected matchups:
Nick Walla (11-10, 3.64 ERA) vs. Curt Green (12-4, 3.48 ERA)
Tony Gaytan (10-13, 3.77 ERA) vs. Matt Crist (12-9, 3.90 ERA)
Jimmy Wharton (10-10, 4.16 ERA) vs. Julio Robles (11-6, 3.11 ERA)

More right-handers!

Game 1
MIL: SS Van Leeuwen – CF Parrish – RF C. Dominguez – 1B C. Ramirez – 2B F. Carrera – 3B Monck – C Pavlacka – LF Alaniz – P C. Green
POR: 2B Yocum – LF Otal – RF Corral – CF T. Wharton – SS Mireles – C Flowe – 3B Murcia – 1B D. Gomez – P Walla

The Loggers tried to break Nick Walla’s strong run with a lineup containing six left-handed batters at the top, which in the early going amounted to no more than a tactical draw for them, as they got his pitch count up quite rapidly to 79 in five innings, getting six hits and a hit batter, and a run on a bushel of singles in the fourth inning, that took Dan Gomez’ solo home run in the bottom 3rd off the board as far as a lead was concerned.

The Critters had a new 2-1 lead in the bottom of the fifth as Corral got on base and was tripled in by Wharton with one out, but neither Mireles nor Flowe could get that extra runner home from third base. Gomez drew a 1-out walk in the bottom 6th, but was forced out on Walla’s bad bunt, and Walla was stranded at third base after a long Yocum single when Otal grounded out.

Walla soldiered bravely through seven innings for 98 pitches, but the top of the order led off the eighth inning and the move to McMahan was obvious at this occasion. He got three groundouts from the 1-2-3 batters, all on 1-0 pitches, to get through the eighth, and we were not completely above sending him back out for the ninth as well, but his spot came up with Flowe and Gomez on the corners and one out in the bottom 8th, and we instead sent J.P. Gallo after right-hander Raul Salas. Gallo raked a 3-run homer, and instead Edgar Gutierrez got around a Fidel Carrera single in the ninth inning to put the game away. 5-1 Raccoons. Yocum 3-5, 2B; Mireles 2-4; D. Gomez 4-4, HR, RBI; Gallo (PH) 1-1, HR, 3 RBI; Walla 7.0 IP, 7 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 5 K, W (12-10);

By Saturday Vinny Morales had come down with a rather violent flu which made him questionable for the start on Monday, but we’d play this one by ear and mucus color once we’d get there.

Game 2
MIL: SS Van Leeuwen – 3B Sowards – RF C. Dominguez – C M. Rodriguez – 1B C. Ramirez – 2B F. Carrera – CF Parrish – LF Alaniz – P Crist
POR: 2B Yocum – LF Otal – RF Corral – CF T. Wharton – SS Mireles – 3B Gallo – 1B D. Gomez – C Brown – P Gaytan

Gaytan gave up two runs in the first inning on … two singles and two hit batsmen, which were Jesse Sowards and Manuel Rodriguez. Two runs were added in the third inning, which Sowards and Carlos Dominguez began with singles. Both moved up on Rodriguez’ groundout and scored on Cesar Ramirez’ single to right. Crist then drilled Gaytan in the bottom 3rd, putting a 1-out runner on base, and there was some glaring there. But the Coons gave him other things to worry about as Yocum and Otal singled to fill the bases with one out. Corral brought in a run on the groundout, but Wharton flew out to center. Gaytan was finally sent packing by the Loggers in the fifth after allowing more singles and a run to Dominguez and Ramirez. Gabe Gomez somehow got out of that inning, put down a bunt in the bottom 5th where the Coons got Brown and Yocum to the corners, but then had to settle for a run on Otal’s fielder’s choice groundout. Otal stole second, but Corral ended the inning flying out to center.

Gomez pitched 2.2 innings against a mostly left-handed lineup and ended up shackled for three more runs in the seventh, as he remained completely useless. Schmieder and Holzmeister pooled their incompetence together to surrender another run in the ninth, while the Raccoons just let it happen at the end and didn’t really cause any issue on the base paths anymore, perhaps with the exception of Sam Brown, who inherited the #8 spot fever from Dan Gomez on this Saturday, while Gomez went 0-for-4. Brown hit another leadoff single in the bottom 9th against Raul Salas, but was left on base as the game died quietly. 9-2 Loggers. Yocum 3-5; Gallo 1-2, 2 BB; Brown 2-3, BB;

Gabe Gomez (0-0, 15.43 ERA) at this point was rather unceremoniously disposed of and removed from the roster, which was the maximum penalty obtainable at the end of September on a team that had just punched its annual losing record. He was replaced with Harrison Hunt, who had pitched to a 1.38 ERA in two spot starts earlier in the season, and was also a left-hander.

Game 3
MIL: SS Van Leeuwen – 2B Hood – RF C. Dominguez – C M. Rodriguez – 1B C. Ramirez – CF Parrish – LF Alaniz – 3B Di. Mendoza – P Ju. Robles
POR: 2B Yocum – SS Mireles – RF Corral – CF T. Wharton – LF van Otterdijk – 1B Spink – 3B Arredondo – C Jalomo – P J. Wharton

The Coons scored first in the rubber game – winning which would give the Coons the season series, lest they wanted to settle for a tie – as Yocum doubled and got to third as Mireles singled. Corral whiffed, and Wharton hit a sac fly. The Otter also got on base, but him and Mireles were left stranded. John Parrish tied the game with a homer in the following half-inning, and it remained 1-1 for a bit, although Lil’ Wharton did his best to find the short end of the stick. Diego Mendoza nearly homered in the same inning, as did Roland Hood in the third – but both were retired. In the fourth, Jimmyboy nailed Rodriguez with an 0-2 pitch, walked Ramirez, and then threw a wild pitch, and somehow the Loggers failed to score on Parrish’s pop and Mario Alaniz’ groundout. When Milwaukee did break the tie in the fifth, it did so in unearned fashion as Mendoza reached on an error by Mireles and was driven home by Sean Van Leeuwen. Hood’s RBI double made it 3-1, and Van Leeuwen’s run was earned. Dominguez and Rodriguez then both struck out.

Manny Arredondo singled to begin the bottom 5th, which replaced Jimmyboy was the batting average king of the bottom four in the lineup with his .138 clip as Arredondo was now 1-for-3. He also scored on Yocum’s 2-out single, narrowing the score to 3-2 before Mireles grounded out. Alaniz nearly homered in the sixth, but van Otterdijk *actually* homered and tied the game.

Jimmyboy struck out the 8-9 batters to begin the seventh and then walked Van Leeuwen and was finally taken over the fence by Hood, and right away the Loggers had a 5-3 lead again. Dominguez’ homer made it 6-3 and Wharton finally departed. Bottom 7th, and Otal pinch-hit as the tying run in the #9 spot after Arrendondo and Jalomo had put out hits to put their AAA tushes on the corners with nobody out. Otal grounded to short for a fielder’s choice as the Loggers conceded Arredondo’s run, 6-4, then was caught stealing.

Omar Vences put Big Wharton and van Otterdijk on base with a 2-out walk and a single in the bottom 8th. Gallo batted for Tony Spink, but drew left-handed pitcher Travis Keil out of the pen. However, Gallo walked in a full count and the bases were now full. Murcia batted for Arredondo against the southpaw, but was met with the right-handed Raul Salas. He struck out and the Coons left the bases loaded. The tying run was back in the box in the ninth after a pinch-hit 1-out single by Dan Gomez against B.J. Butrico. Yocum flew out, but Mireles singled up the middle with two gone. Corral singled through the right side, and the bags were full for Wharton, who calmly looked at strike three. 6-4 Loggers. Yocum 2-5, 2B, RBI; Mireles 2-5; van Otterdijk 3-4, HR, RBI; Arredondo 2-3; D. Gomez (PH) 1-1; Hunt 2.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 0 K;

In other news

September 22 – The Knights lose SP Brett Bebout (15-9, 4.02 ERA), presumably for the season, as the 30-year-old is shut down with shoulder inflammation.
September 24 – MIL SP Danny Ortiz (15-8, 4.40 ERA) hurls a 1-hit shutout against the Thunder for a 6-0 win that also clinches the CL North for Milwaukee. The lone Thunder hit is a fifth-inning single by 1B Ian Stone (.284, 30 HR, 87 RBI).
September 24 – Vancouver’s right-handed reliever Josh Meighan announces his retirement five months after Tommy John surgery as the replaced ligament frays again and he is forced into more surgeries just to make the arm usable. Meighan appeared in 272 career games, all in relief for the Canadiens, and had a 14-17 record, 4.75 ERA, and four career saves.
September 24 – The season of CHA 1B Andy Metz (.282, 23 HR, 81 RBI) ends with a concussion.
September 24 – The Cyclones take 17 innings to beat the Gold Sox, 5-3. The effort is worth it, though, as this W clinches the FL East for Cincinnati.
September 24 – The Knights rush the Canadiens, 11-2, to become the third team to clinch their division on this day.
September 25 – MIL SP Ramon Carreno (12-10, 4.60 ERA, 1 SV) lands a 3-hit shutout to beat the Crusaders, 6-0.
September 26 – PIT SP Tom Delaney (10-10, 4.79 ERA) is headed for surgery to have bone spurs removed from his elbow, but should be ready for Opening Day.

Player of the Week (FL): SFW OF Jordan Lopez (.339, 14 HR, 67 RBI), batting .474 (9-19) with 4 HR, 7 RBI
Player of the Week (CL): MIL RF/LF Carlos Dominguez (.378, 22 HR, 107 RBI), hitting .414 (12-29) with 2 HR, 6 RBI;

Complaints and stuff

Too bad about the lost Loggers series; taking the season series would have at least been a moral victory for this lousy team, but we had to settle for a 9-9 tie.

We are currently not expecting Vinny Morales to take the start in the Monday opener in Indy; that one will be Rios instead. Morales might pitch the series finale. The Coons will finish the season in Elk City then. Not sure where Val Centeno figures into this whole molasses. Best case would be not at all. Nick Walla (who now has a 1.34 ERA in 8 starts and a 5-game winning streak) could start on Wednesday on regular rest, but that requires Morales to be good to go on Tuesday. Harrison Hunt is also an option for a Wednesday start.

+++

The fun fact is a bit meta today.

Fun Fact: For the first time that I can remember, the game crashed after/during a (sorta) complete game and the Raccoons ended up with a different result on the replay.

This would be the Friday game, where in the first attempt Walla ended up 2-0 behind and squeezed out of the top of the seventh, which ended on a play at the plate and then ended up suspended on account of rain. Game came to the menu, but then crashed on the next click. The one that counts then of course saw Walla win it on homers by Gomez and Gallo.

The most games we have ever lost here on a crash of the game (not that it happened very often overall) was two wins against the Condors, that came back as wins again on the replay.

[Westheim]

Raccoons (73-83) @ Indians (72-83) – September 29-October 1, 2070

Was anybody still in the mood for these games? League HQ, probably. FINE. Here were the Indians, who were up 9-6 in the season series against the Coons, and who ranked sixth in runs scored and eighth in runs allowed in the CL.

Projected matchups:
Gabriel Rios (8-2, 2.91 ERA) vs. Jorge Flores (13-10, 3.42 ERA)
Vinny Morales (9-11, 3.64 ERA) vs. Pablo Apodaca (8-8, 4.33 ERA)
Harrison Hunt (0-0, 1.20 ERA) vs. Victor Perez (12-11, 3.93 ERA)

Apodaca on Tuesday was probably our last left-handed starter this year.

Game 1
POR: 2B Yocum – SS Mireles – RF Corral – CF T. Wharton – RF van Otterdijk – 3B Gallo – 1B D. Gomez – C Flowe – P Rios
IND: CF Hilario – LF W. Griffith – 1B M. Rogers – RF T. Torres – 3B Ma. Martin – SS Valadez – C Sciutto – 2B R. Cabrera – P Jo. Flores

To begin the game, Adam Yocum walked, stole second, and was stranded at second; but Rios got whacked around with a walk to Wade Grifith, Matt Rogers singling, and then with two outs three runs conceded on Matt Martin’s RBI single and Fernando Valadez’ 2-run double. He allowed another 3-spot in the second inning, which began really well with a leadoff walk to Rich Cabrera, then his own mishandling of Jorge Flores’ bunt, thinking he could get a double play, which he very much didn’t, or any out at all, and then a couple more screamers and also two wild pitches. He was not seen again after that.

Valadez took Schmieder deep to extend the score to 7-0 in the third inning, and Schmieder walked two batters after that, but those were stranded. Schmieder pitched another inning, then was hit for in the Coons’ fifth, by which time they tallied all of two base hits. Steve George replaced him afterwards, and immediately allowed a hit to Andy Sciutto and a homer to Rich Cabrera. Top 6th, and Yocum was on base again with a single and stole second base. Mireles flew out to Tony Torres, but Corral found an RBI single. Wharton made the second out, but van Otterdijk walked, and Gallo raked a 3-run homer to right. Unfortunately all of this barely made a dent in the Indians’ now 5-run lead … and George gave up another 2-run dinger to Valadez in the same inning.

Ramirez and Holzmeister pitched scoreless innings towards the end, while the Raccoons also managed to scatter four base runners and not plating any of them in the final two frames. 11-4 Indians. Yocum 1-2, BB; van Otterdijk 1-2, BB;

The Coons then carted up an all-right-handed lineup for Tuesday and Apodaca, although it seemed to lack a certain vim.

Game 2
POR: 2B Yocum – SS Mireles – RF van Otterdijk – CF T. Wharton – 3B Murcia – LF Guerrero – 1B Spink – C Jalomo – P Morales
IND: CF Hilario – LF Spicer – 3B Ma. Martin – 1B M. Rogers – RF T. Torres – C A. Gomez – SS Valadez – 2B G. Lujan – P Apodaca

The Indians answered with seven left-handed sticks against Morales, and took a 1-0 lead in the first inning as Jose Hilario singled, stole his 53rd base, and was maneuvered around easily enough to score. Guillermo Lujan, Hilario, and Malcolm Spicer piled up three hits for two runs in the second inning, while the Coons would get a leadoff single from Morales and a double from Yocum in the third inning, and with runners on second and third and nobody out barely scored one run on a 2-out single by Wharton after two ****** *** groundouts in front of the plate by the 2-3 batters that shall remain unnamed.

Morales’ outing ended in the bottom 3rd when he uselessly allowed a single to Torres, walked the bags full with the 7-8 batters, two outs, and not a single strike in sight, and then gave up a bases-clearing double to Apodaca that put the score at 6-1. Sullivan replaced him, but gave up his own stupid, can’t-get-anybody-out run in the fourth inning. Tyler Wharton batted with Mireles (single) and van Otterdijk (plunked) on base and hit a 3-run homer in the fifth, but that only served to cut the deficit in half at this point…

Despite all the tomfoolery and terrible tossing, the Raccoons at one point got the tying run to the plate in the seventh inning against right-hander Willie Castellanos when van Otterdijk double and Wharton singled, and Gallo batted for Murcia. He hit a fly to deep right, but it was caught by Torres, and the Raccoons then gave up and threw Val Centeno to the lions. Alex Gomez and Valadez reached against him with one gone in the bottom 7th, but he then struck out both Lujan and PH Eddie Menchaca.

Rodolfo Zea, Felix Morales, and Kao-kan Ngui then each put one between Willie Jalomo, Jose Corral, and Andy Yocum on base with two outs in the top 8th, and those represented the tying runs. Mireles lined out to Rogers to ensure the struggle session could continue. Centeno then put Spicer on with an infield single, walked Matt Martin, gave up the double steal, and then the 3-run homer to Rogers. 10-4 Indians. Van Otterdijk 2-3, 2 2B; T. Wharton 3-5, HR, 4 RBI; Corral 1-1;

Centeno now had a 7.10 ERA in 52 innings. Just as a reminder that we spent $450k on that useless creature.

Gah.

Game 3
POR: 2B Yocum – LF Otal – RF Corral – CF T. Wharton – 3B Gallo – SS Murcia – 1B D. Gomez – C Flowe – P Hunt
IND: CF Hilario – LF W. Griffith – 1B M. Rogers – C A. Gomez – RF T. Torres – 3B Ma. Martin – SS Valadez – 2B R. Cabrera – P V. Perez

Yocum singled, advanced on a grounder and scored on Corral’s double to begin the game. Wharton walked and Murcia hit another RBI single, but the Coons left the bases loaded after another walk to Gomez when Flowe lifted a ball out to the leftfielder. Hunt immediately gave a run back, wrapped and with stickers on it, by allowing a single to Griffith, walking the bags full, and then nicking Martin WITH THE BAGS FULL, before Valadez grounded out to strand a full set of runners in the bottom 1st as well. Hunt then drew a 4-pitch walk from Perez, so maybe it would be another long day, but not for Yocum, who legged out an infield single, and apparently also his leg, and left the game for Arredondo to take over. Otal hit another infield single, three on and nobody out, and Corral hit a sac fly. Wharton flew out uselessly, Gallo was nicked to refill the bags, and Murcia slapped a 2-run single to left-center against Perez, 5-1. Gomez whiffed, but Perez was not coming back for the third inning.

Gallo hit a solo jack off Luis Pulido in the fourth and Griffith got Hunt for a 2-out solo home run in the fifth, 6-2, with a 30-minute rain delay in between. Hunt allowed three full-count batters to reach after the Griffith homer, Torres singling home Rogers, before a K to Matt Martin ended the inning… while Hunt’s day didn’t end until he gave up a leadoff single to Valadez in the bottom 6th. Holzmeister was just as useless, giving up an RBI double to Josh Shields (who?) and another one to Hilario to reduce the score to 6-5 in the inning. The writing was on the wall by then. McMahan allowed two singles, but no runs in the bottom 7th, however, Danny Nava was less fortunate with his skillless tossery and conceded a hit to Hilario and a score-flipping 2-out, 2-run homer to Matt Rogers in the bottom 8th. It was Rogers’ 30th homer of the year, and his 36th against the Coons this season. Wharton, Gallo, and Murcia then went in order against Ryan Croft to complete the sweep. 7-6 Indians. Yocum 2-2; Arredondo 2-3; Murcia 2-5, 3 RBI;

Yocum was found to have a sore hamstring and was day-to-day into the last series in Elk City, while we managed to get Katz off the DL for those last couple of games.

Raccoons (73-86) @ Canadiens (82-77) – October 3-5, 2070

I don’t even want to talk about it. They were fourth in runs scored and ninth in runs allowed with a +23 run differential that was obviously not enough to win the division. They were also up 8-7 on the Coons for the season series, which I would absolutely hate losing yet again. The Coons still had a chance to finish tied for last with the Crusaders in the event of a hostile sweep, and the Crusaders sweeping the Titans, which wasn’t extremely likely to begin with. Why even bother going to this place, forsaken by nature and the gods, and all that’s holy…!?

Projected matchups:
Nick Walla (12-10, 3.56 ERA) vs. Mario Rivera (3-3, 4.32 ERA)
Tony Gaytan (10-14, 3.91 ERA) vs. Nate Freeman (11-15, 3.61 ERA)
Jimmy Wharton (10-11, 4.26 ERA) vs. Ricardo Montoya (10-6, 2.84 ERA)

As expected, only right-handers left here.

Game 1
POR: LF Otal – RF Corral – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – 3B Gallo – C Flowe – 1B D. Gomez – 2B Arredondo – P Walla
VAN: SS Barraza – LF J. Hawkins – RF Lozada – 1B H. Moreno – CF D. Moore – 3B C. Castro – C J. Sandoval – 2B Eggert – P M. Rivera

Three on and nobody out occurred right to begin the game as Otal singled and stole second, Corral singled, and Katz walked. Wharton’s sac fly was as good as it got before sad fly outs by Gallo and Flowe. The Elks tied it with a 2-out walk to Roberto Lozada, who scored on September CL Rookie of the Month Hector Moreno’s double to right, but was left on when Dan Moore popped out. They then took a 4-1 lead on a 3-run homer by Roberto Barraza in the second inning, which came after a 2-out walk to Dan Eggert and a single by their ******* pitcher. Lozada’s 2-run homer in the bottom 3rd made sure the season ended on a brown note for Walla.

Nothing got better after that. The Raccoons had just one hit in the five innings following their taking of a 1-0 lead, but were down 9-1 after Lozada raked another 3-run homer off Steve George in the sixth inning. The Coons didn’t get on base again until the eighth, when Corral doubled, scored on a Katz hit, who scored on a Wharton hit, and then Gallo chucked a 2-run homer to knock out Rivera after 7.1 innings. Of course, this time, too, we were still down by a slam after that rally because of all the brown-hatted tossers that had already been turned inside-out. The Elks came back with two incredibly stupid and unearned runs in the bottom 8th, where Victor Ramirez nailed and injured Hector Moreno with one out, then allowed a single to Dan Moore than Wharton fumbled for extra bases. Carlos Castro walked, Jerry Sandoval’s fly to left was dropped by Guerrero for an error and a run, and allowed Eggert to hit a sac fly on a 3-0 pitch. Ben Craig grounded out to end the inning. 11-5 Canadiens. Otal 1-2, BB; Corral 2-4, 2B; T. Wharton 2-3, 2 RBI;

The Crusaders lost, which ensured the Raccoons would finish fifth.

Elk City brought Juan Rosado (6-9, 4.48 ERA) to start the middle game, but that was also a right-hander.

Game 2
POR: 2B Yocum – LF Otal – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – RF Corral – 3B Murcia – 1B D. Gomez – C Brown – P Gaytan
VAN: SS Barraza – C J. Contreras – RF Lozada – 1B H. Moreno – CF D. Moore – 3B C. Castro – LF Bustillos – 2B Terrazas – P J. Rosado

Wharton hit an RBI single after Otal and Katz reached with one gone in the top 1st, but Corral flew out to right and Murcia whiffed. Gaytan gave the lead away after two clean innings, allowing straight singles to Juan Terrazas, the pitcher (…), and Barraza before Jonathan Contreras found a double play. The Coons didn’t answer, but answering was hard to do when Wharton’s RBI single from the first was your only hit through six innings. Lozada homered to lead off the bottom 6th, which was the Elks’ seventh hit off Gaytan. Wharton walked and Gomez singled in the seventh, and a 2-out walk drawn by Sam Brown filled the bases, at which point van Otterdijk batted for Gaytan … but grounded out to Castro.

Gabriel Rios came back in relief in the bottom 7th and got around a Terrazas single to hold the Elks to their 2-1 lead. The Coons put Otal on third base in the eighth inning, but also left him there after Wharton got nicked with two outs and Corral fanned. Nava had a scoreless eighth, and ex-Coon Elijah LaBat got Murcia and Guerrero out to begin the ninth, but gave up a double to right-center to Sam Brown, putting the tying run in scoring position one more time. Mireles grounded out to Terrazas. 2-1 Canadiens. T. Wharton 1-2, BB, RBI;

Seven losses in a row, not that I was counting while being small and under the pillows on the trusty brown couch in Portland.

Running outta claws.

Game 3
POR: 2B Yocum – RF Corral – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – 3B Gallo – C Flowe – LF Guerrero – 1B Colter – P J. Wharton
VAN: SS Barraza – LF J. Hawkins – CF D. Moore – RF Lozada – 1B H. Moreno – 3B Forrest – C J. Contreras – 2B C. Castro – P N. Freeman

Big Wharton doubled and Gallo hit a homer to right to begin the second inning, so the Coons were first on the horse again on Closing Day. It got better with a solo homer by Jesus Guerrero to left, the first of his career, but Carlos Castro also tripled home two runs, Moreno and Adam Forrest, with two outs in the bottom of the inning.

Top 3rd, Yocum singled and stole second, then scored on Corral’s single to right-center, 4-2, but Barraza singled, Hawkins walked, and Moore singled to fill the bases against Jimmyboy with nobody out in the bottom 3rd. He struck out Lozada, but Moreno tied the game with a 2-run single and the remaining runners got a double steal off, but Forrest grounded out to third for the second out. Contreras’ 2-run single up the middle gave the Elks the upper hoof, 6-4. Shoot the entire ******* rotation. Shoot the entire ******* team.

The fourth was tranquil, and Yocum socked a leadoff jack to right to shorten the score to 6-5 in the fifth inning. In turn the Elks exploded for a 5-run inning in the bottom 6th, loading the bases against Schmieder with two outs. McMahan replaced him, but gave up a bases-clearing double to Lozada, threw a wild pitch, and gave up another run on Moreno’s single. Ramirez struck out Forrest to end the bloody inning. The Coons trundled towards the bitter end and a season-ending 8-game losing streak from there, but got more singles from Guerrero and Yocum in the ninth inning against Roberto Navarro. Otal pinch-hit with two outs, grounded out to short, and that ended the season. 11-5 Canadiens. Yocum 4-5, HR, 2B, RBI; T. Wharton 2-3, BB, 2B; Guerrero 2-4, HR, RBI;

In other news

September 29 – DEN SP Aaron O’Harra (13-10, 3.59 ERA) comes up with a 3-hit shutout of the Pacifics to win 7-0.
September 30 – The playoff field is completed with the Warriors’ 8-5 win against the Wolves, which clinches the FL West for them.
September 30 – The Titans beat the Loggers, 13-11, by scoring 11 runs in the eighth inning to erase an 8-run deficit.
October 2 – CIN SP Shoma Nakayama (12-8, 3.11 ERA) punches out seven Capitals in a 13-0, 3-hit shutout.

FL Hitter of the Month: WAS 1B Armando Curiel (.341, 11 HR, 26 RBI), batting .333 with 7 HR, 19 RBI
CL Hitter of the Month: MIL RF/LF Carlos Dominguez (.379, 22 HR, 108 RBI), hitting .394 with 4 HR, 14 RBI
FL Pitcher of the Month: SFW SP Alex Diez (19-3, 2.35 ERA), going 5-0 with a 2.80 ERA, 45 K
CL Pitcher of the Month: NYC SP Colt Long (12-6, 3.36 ERA), posting a 5-0 mark with a 1.76 ERA, 34 K
FL Rookie of the Month: SFW OF David Jankowski (.281, 7 HR, 45 RBI), batting .358 with 2 HR, 14 RBI
CL Rookie of the Month: VAN 1B Hector Moreno (.260, 19 HR, 74 RBI), crushing .277 with 9 HR, 25 RBI

Complaints and stuff

Thank goodness this season is over.

Dismal as ****.

Fun Fact: The Crusaders finished last in the North for the first time since 2039.

They had been fifth four times in total, including consecutively in 2048-49, but not bottoms. Their gap to first was also the biggest since 2049, when they had been 30 games behind.

In total, New York has finished last in the CL North 13 times, including eight times between 1982 and 1994, and they even managed to tuck in behind the Decade of Darkness Raccoons twice in 2001 and 2002.

Last place in the CL North rankings (and last last place):
Loggers – 27 (2062)
Canadiens – 17 (2069)
Indians – 16 (2068)
Crusaders – 14 (2070)
Raccoons – 11 (2066)
Titans – 9 (2055)

The Loggers managed to punch last place NINE years in a row from 2006 through 2014, and then again in 2016.

The damn Elks were last for four straight years from 2020 through 2023, but also had a 22-year stint without a red lantern from 2035 to 2056.

The Indians finished last only *twice* before the 2020s, when they brought up the rear three times in the decade. The majority of their last-place finishes have come in the last 21 years.

The Coons had four straight last-place finishes from 1978 to 1981 and three more in the Decade of Darkness, but then went shame-free until a pair of bottom rankings in 2030 and 2032 (the Year of No Pitching). After that we made it 20 years to 2052, when we plunged from first to last. Despite the misery of the 2060s, we only finished last once there, in 2066.

The Titans didn’t finish last in the North all the way until *2015*, but then finished bottoms four times in five years. They were last three times in the 2040s after that, and twice more in the 2050s.

[Westheim]

2070 ABL PLAYOFFS

Playoff time had arrived in ABL land for the 94th time, and the Atlanta Knights entered with the best record at 108-54, having won the CL South by nine games. They had accumulated a +262 run differential with the CL’s second-best offense and best pitching, leading the ERA table for both the rotation and the bullpen. Defense was good, and they were on base all the time with a .366 team OBP, at which rate you were of course constantly scoring even though the team had failed to hit 100 homers, ranking just ninth in the power department, with 99 homers overall and 21 on team leader David Mendoza, who was out for the season due to injury, and that was a bit of a topic for the Knights, because they were also without starters Brett Bebout (at least for the CLCS) and Adam Lunn, and outfielder Santiago Valdez. The new team leader in home runs was thus catcher Justin Hart (.336, 15 HR, 85 RBI), who also had the second-most RBI of all players still standing. Kris DiPrimio (.322, 8 HR, 80 RBI) had left his power in Nashville, but formed part of the core in the lineup with Jon Schomer (.291, 10 HR, 92 RBI). The rotation was near-waterproof though, led by Erik Lee (17-8, 2.54 ERA), and the ninth inning was automatic thanks to Erik Swain (2-3, 1.22 ERA, 47 SV).

The 96-66 Loggers had won the CL North by 11 games and had just pipped the Knights by eight runs to the most productive offense in the league. Their issues mostly lay with their average pitching although they still brought a +171 run differential to the postseason. It was all a bit cruddy, though, with no ERA better than Curt Green (12-5, 3.41 ERA) and Julio Robles (12-7, 3.42 ERA) in the rotation, and a bullpen that had sheen its share of stumbles. But the lineup was ready and dangerous with all of Carlos Dominguez (.379, 23 HR, 113 RBI), Manuel Rodriguez (.315, 33 HR, 120 RBI), Cesar Ramirez (.318, 18 HR, 93 RBI), Fidel Carrera (.281, 19 HR, 95 RBI) and more behind leadoff man Sean Van Leeuwen (.301, 4 HR, 34 RBI). The team had ranked second in batting average and OBP, and had led the CL with 156 home runs. The only injury was reliever Nick Walters.

In the Federal League, the East champions had home field advantage, as the 99-63 Cyclones had taken the division by 15 games and a country mile. They also approached offense by the numbers, leading the FL in OBP while being not that great at actually hitting for average or power, and had scored the fourth-most runs. The best defense in the league had helped them to concede the second-fewest runs for a +130 run differential. Melvin Avila (.305, 13 HR, 89 RBI) was the only qualifying .300 hitter on the team, while Mike White (.300, 19 HR, 109 RBI) brought the most home runs for the season, but 12 of them had been hit with the Miners, so the actual team home run leader was Fernando Cruz (.266, 16 HR, 61 RBI). Matt Murray (.290, 15 HR, 84 RBI) was also an offensive force at third base. The rotation was led by Matt Asplund (16-4, 2.47 ERA) with kind support from Shoma Nakayama (12-8, 3.11 ERA) and Luis Briseno (14-6, 3.25 ERA). All the starters were right-handed, while the lineup was almost completely left-handed, which didn’t mesh that well with the opposition. The team had four injuries, some of the nagging sort, and starter Ray Rath (12-9, 3.34 ERA) was going to miss the FLCS.

The 94-68 Warriors had been the last team to clinch, winning the FL West by seven games. They had done it on pitching, conceding the fewest runs in the league and scoring the third-most in the Federal League for a +152 run differential. Power and speed were not part of the game, but they were putting out hits in volumes. The rotation had finished tops in ERA, and the pen had come second in the category. Injuries were an issue, though, with outfielder Devon Lewis, starter Luis Olvera, and closer Brad Fales all out – the pitchers having missed basically the entire season. The biggest offensive force on the team was by far Nick Dingman (.254, 29 HR, 113 RBI), was had more than twice as many homers as any other player on the roster, and 42 RBI more than any teammate. Jordan Lopez (.333, 14 HR, 71 RBI) when healthy was just as much of a threat though, and there were also Jared Duhe (.274, 13 HR, 71 RBI) and Matt Ewig (.246, 11 HR, 53 RBI). In the rotation Alex Diez (19-4, 2.35 ERA) led the charge, with Harry Poteat (11-15, 3.13 ERA) hoping to get better luck in the playoffs. Matt Guadagno (7-9, 2.44 ERA, 37 SV) had done a damn fine job as replacement closer.

+++

The Warriors’ 19th playoff appearance was most among the playoff teams and would tie them for fifth-most in the league. The Cyclones made their 18th postseason, while the Knights (13th) were further behind and the Loggers made their seventh postseason and would thus henceforth share the bottom rank in the category with the Aces, who had finished second in the CL South.

For titles, the Cyclones had the most with four, including the last two in a row, while the Warriors had three championships (most recently in 2034), the Loggers had two (2021, 2041), and the Knights had one (2055).

The Cyclones were trying to become the fourth ABL team to win three+ titles in a row, joining the Titans, Crusaders (who had done the feat twice), and Gold Sox (the only team to win four championships without interruption).

It was also the third straight year the Cyclones faced the Warriors in the CLCS, with obvious outcomes in 2068-69. In total, the teams had met four times before, the Warriors winning in 1999 and the Cyclones advancing in 2013.

Despite the scarcity in playoff appearances for the two CLCS contestants, they had met in the CLCS before in 2021, with the better outcome for the Loggers.

The only past World Series pairing between these four teams was the Loggers’ 2041 championship, in which they beat the Cyclones in the World Series.

+++

2070 LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES

MIL @ ATL … 4-5 (10) … (Knights lead 1-0) … MIL Manuel Rodriguez 2-5, HR, RBI; ATL Tomas Guangorena 3-6, RBI;

Five different relievers pitch two innings each in a playoff opener that sees both pitchers knocked out by the fifth inning.

SFW @ CIN … 1-7 … (Cyclones lead 1-0) … CIN Steve Sramek 3-5; CIN Fernando Cruz 2-5, 2B, RBI;
MIL @ ATL … 8-3 … (series tied 1-1) … MIL Cesar Ramirez 1-2, HR, 5 RBI; ATL Justin Hart 2-4, 2B, RBI;

Cesar Ramirez hits two sac flies plus a 3-run homer, while MIL SP Matt Crist (1-0, 3.00 ERA) goes the distance and hits two singles himself.

SFW @ CIN … 1-8 … (Cyclones lead 2-0) … SFW David Jankowski 3-4, HR, RBI; CIN Mike White 2-4, BB, RBI; CIN Tony Gaines 3-4, 2 2B, RBI; CIN Matt Asplund 8.0 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 11 K, W (1-0);

ATL @ MIL … 8-6 … (Knights lead 2-1) … ATL Tomas Guangorena 2-4, 2 RBI; ATL Tom Troxel 2-4, HR, 2B, RBI; ATL Jon Schomer 3-5, 3B; ATL John Baxley (PH) 1-1, 2 RBI; ATL Dennis Wright (PH) 1-1, RBI; MIL Sean Van Leeuwen 2-3, 2 BB, 3B, 2 RBI; MIL Roland Hood 2-5, HR, RBI; MIL Carlos Dominguez 2-4, BB, HR, RBI;

CIN @ SFW … 6-1 … (Cyclones lead 3-0) … CIN Mike White 3-5, 2 RBI; CIN Blake Anderson 7.0 IP, 6 H, 1 R, 0 ER, 3 BB, 6 K, W (1-0);
ATL @ MIL … 1-3 … (series tied 2-2) … ATL Tomas Guangorena 1-2, 2 BB; ATL Justin Hart 4-4, 2B;

CIN @ SFW … 4-1 … (Cyclones win 4-0) … ATL Tomas Guangorena 2-3, BB, 2B; MIL Cesar Ramirez 3-4; MIL John Parrish 2-2, 2 BB; MIL Roberto Soto (PH) 1-1, HR, 3 RBI; MIL Matt Crist 8.0 IP, 3 H, 0 R, 3 BB, 8 K;
ATL @ MIL … 2-4 … (Loggers lead 3-2) …

Game 5 in Milwaukee is scoreless through eight innings before the Knights score two in the top of the ninth off B.J. Butrico (1-0, 4.50 ERA, 1 SV), only to be blasted out of the park on Roberto Soto (.250, 1 HR, 3 RBI) hitting a walkoff home run.

MIL @ ATL … 5-4 … (Loggers win 4-2) … MIL Sean Van Leeuwen 3-4, HR, 2 RBI; MIL Manuel Rodriguez 2-4, 2 HR, 3 RBI; ATL Kris DiPrimio 3-4, 2 2B, 3 RBI;

The Knights score three runs in the first inning, but slowly dribble that lead away and are behind by the sixth inning without being able to start the offense again.

+++

2070 WORLD SERIES

The rematch for the 2041 World Series was here as the Loggers had managed to dispatch of the Knights in six games and without suffering any injuries along the way. The immovable force would thus face the immovable object as the prolific wood-green-hatted offense would match up against a pitching staff that had surrendered all of four runs to the Warriors in the FLCS. The Loggers had scored more than 100 runs more than the Cyclones, but had also given up almost 100 runs more in the regular season and had been far from watertight in the CLCS. The Cyclones meanwhile had been able to get Ray Rath back, although he was likely not going to make any starts in the World Series. They were now down just two relievers, Humberto Fierros and Marcos Laureano.

The Cyclones might have swept their way to the World Series, but it felt like the Loggers’ offense might just be able to chuck their way through that entirely right-handed rotation. With Van Leeuwen, Dominguez, Ramirez, Carrera, and Parrish, the Loggers had enough left-handed swatters to give the Cyclones reason for concern.

+++

MIL @ CIN … 2-10 … (Cyclones lead 1-0) … CIN Steve Sramek 3-5, 3B; CIN Jorge Arviso 2-4, BB, 2B, 2 RBI; CIN Fernando Cruz 3-5, RBI; CIN Mike White 3-5, HR, RBI; CIN Melvin Avila 2-4, BB, 2 3B, 4 RBI; CIN Shoma Nakayama 9.0 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 0 BB, 11 K, W (2-0) and 1-3, BB, RBI;

MIL @ CIN … 4-8 … (Cyclones lead 2-0) … MIL Carlos Dominguez 2-5, HR, 2 RBI; MIL Cesar Ramirez 2-5, RBI; MIL Fidel Carrera 3-4, BB, HR, RBI; CIN Jorge Arviso 3-4, BB, HR, 5 RBI; CIN Matt Murray 2-3, BB, RBI;

The Loggers score their four runs in the first three innings, but then give it all back by the bottom of the fifth and keep collapsing from there.

CIN @ MIL … 5-1 … (Cyclones lead 3-0) … CIN Jorge Arviso 2-5, 2B, RBI; CIN Fernando Cruz 2-4, RBI; CIN Mike White 2-4, 2 RBI;

All runs are scored by the top of the second inning before the Cyclones go into shutdown mode.

CIN @ MIL … 11-1 … (Cyclones win 4-0) … CIN Jorge Arviso 3-6, HR, 2 2B, 3 RBI; CIN Matt Murray 2-4, BB, 2 RBI; CIN Luis Briseno 9.0 IP, 7 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 3 BB, 5 K, W (2-0) and 2-4, BB, 2 RBI;

The Loggers score the game’s first run, but then eat 11 unanswered runs in the next five innings to get swept out of the World Series.

+++

2070 WORLD SERIES CHAMPIONS
Cincinnati Cyclones
(5th title)

[Westheim]

Blue in the face by season’s end and posting 89 losses, the Raccoons had been a disappointment in 2070 to say the least, and the panic of a budget slash in the front office was so big that we went out of our way to place people on waivers before the offseason even began to avoid paying them a minimum salary in 2071. Manny Arredondo, Gabe Gomez, Victor Chavez, Cody Childress, Matt Schmieder, and Tony Spink all found themselves removed from the 40-man roster that way, saving around $2.3M on the books for the time being.

Adam Valdes was indeed not overly amused that we not only spent the entire $66M budget, but also almost the entire cash reservers – of which $36k and a few chicken bones were left over in October – to finish fifth, 23 games out, and one game outta last place.

Punishment came swift in form of a $3M budget slash down to $63M so we may learn from our mistakes. I cried for a week, not knowing how to keep the four position players together that cost nearly $27M to feed and somehow make up a pitching staff.

The Raccoons dropped from a tie for 10th place to a tie for ******* 15th in the league, even with the Scorpions.

Top 5: Thunder ($94M), Titans ($93M), Stars ($86M), Knights ($86M), Crusaders / Capitals ($81M)
Bottom 5: Condors ($55M), Wolves ($53M), Aces ($52M), Bayhawks ($52M), Falcons ($45M)

The remaining CL North teams were to be found in 9th (VAN, $70M), 10th (MIL, $69M), and 18th (IND, $57M).

We were behind the Loggers. THE LOGGERS…!

The average budget went up $660k to $67.96M, while the median budget actually fell by $2M to $64M.

+++

With the offseason begun and us already broke, there was no hope whatsoever. All that was left to do was to shrug, look at the arbitration and free agency list, and try to find more areas in which to make vicious cuts.

The Raccoons had just three free agents, those being J.P. Gallo, a type-B free agent that almost led the team in homers (Wharton beat him by one, whee…), and who I briefly considered bringing back, but he made nearly $3M in 2070, and we didn’t have nearly $3M at all. The other two were relievers Danny Nava and Victor Ramirez, who had almost single-pawedly (add McMahan, on a good day) held the pen together between whichever starter felt like not getting whole bats up his tush on any given day and Pedro Valentin.

McMahan was to be found on the arbitration list, just short of the six years of service time required for free agency as well. He was joined by pitchers Vinny Morales and Gabriel Rios (hardly expendable, either), catcher Jake Flowe (eeeeeeeh), and pick-up infielder Rafael Murcia, who wasn’t exactly worth the $840k estimate (although McMahan was more expensive than that).

Truth be told, the Raccoons appeared beyond ******. The whole team was built around a quadruplet of position players to produce runs on budgets totalling $27.1M, and who were constantly on the DL, and if you made allowances for scouting, player development, and various admin and donuts, we could maybe squeeze out $52M for payroll – and those four made over half of that, to play together 33 times and finish ninth in ******* runs scored.

(despaired screeching into the paws)

…

Sorry, I needed a moment.

So, what do we have? On the pitching side, we have a rotation that is best described as adequate, even though they all had their black months this season. Walla, Gaytan, Rios, Morales, and Jimmy Wharton remained around one way or another. We had a very good closer in Valentin, but the entire seventh/eighth inning was about to be blown up entirely. Only McMahan would be left as a reliable, experienced reliever beyond that. Holzmeister was experienced. Sullivan (though 23) appeared reliable. Gutierrez, George, Hunt, and Centeno, the sad-sack remainders on the roster, were neither. A functioning bullpen could not be made with these pieces.

Catching was an unmitigated disaster. The Raccoons had tried four backstops this year, none of whom had been able to bat for anything. We had by now very much sobered up on Jake Flowe, to the point where I was considering non-tendering him. If we had a total blackout at the plate for a catcher we might just as well go with Sam Brown (52 OPS+) instead of Flowe (61), as Brown at least had the decency to make the minimum of $379k. Jalomo had batted .119 across 84 at-bats and I didn’t want to talk about it. First base was no better, despite a late rally from Dan Gomez (98).

Then you had Wharton (131 OPS+, somehow), Katz (128), Yocum (131), and Humph (122), who had missed a grand total of 154 games this year, and were hogging, respectively: center, short-or-third, second, and left in the field. Josh Mireles (80) was largely listless. No other infielders were even on the chainsawed extended roster.

In the outfield we had Jose Corral (91) draw a $3.2M salary for no particular reason. He was in a contract year and probably not removable from the roster by legal means. Van Otterdijk batted just the same from the right side – in fact it was spooky how their slash lines were almost identical. One went .245/.307/.372, the other .249/.317/.364, and I’m not gonna tell you which one was which. Benito Otal was similarly pathetic (88). Jamie Colter hit for a 101 OPS+, but after six years of AAAA service we stopped caring. Jesus Guerrero (60) managed to cost half a WAR despite appearing in just 30 games.

That was all there was left. There were two very young pitchers in AAA that would be rushed and burned if added to the Opening Day roster, 21-year-old starter Crispino “Crispy Bear” D’Urso, who pitched a single AAA game after going 11-9 with a 3.67 ERA in Ham Lake all year, and 22-year-old closing prospect Noah Newhard, who we declined to bring up as a September decoration. The only position player prospect I felt like mentioning was 24-year-old corner outfielder Dave Falquez, hitting .325 with one homer and missing half the season, while playing a power position with such bad defense we’d turn him into a first baseman, but he couldn’t even handle THAT.

Did I mention we also needed a whole new set of coaches, because outside of Luis Silva and Oscar Semchez they had all been let go? Pitching coach Ross Schneider was going to be promoted from AAA, everything else had to be brought in for coin.

That was it. And $2.5M to fix it all.

Tearing it all down and trading some or all of the four position players that had played together all of 33 times for all the best prospects would be madness.

And not tearing it all down and sell for all the best prospects would be madness, too.

Welcome to Portland, 2071. ****** if you do, ****** if you don’t. Season tickets on sale now.

[Westheim]

Really early in the offseason the Raccoons had to gauge which cards they were actually holding in those grabby and usually sticky paws. Because I didn’t have to ride up to the winter meetings with my five-odd loaded contracts (for practical purposes we’d include Jose Corral’s rather unmerited $3.2M salary for 2071 with the big four earners) only to get snickered out of the room immediately. What were teams actually willing to trade for all of them, or any of them?

Not a whole ******* lot.

All five of them were shopped in late October, and the only offers we got back were from the Rebs, offering Juan Licona (for Katz), certainly not a *bad* outfielder to have after hitting .308 with 13 homers and while missing just half of Humphries’ amount of games this year; and the Crusaders, who put up infielder Robert Ortiz, who was older, on a longer contract, and didn’t fit with the rest of the crew, and only for Yocum or Corral.

No offers for Humphries. No offers for Wharton.

At this point the fork was in the team because even if we tried to unload, nobody would let us. No, they were mocking us instead, like the Stingers, offering Mike Pinault for five prospects including Noah Newhard and Jack Hamel, who was a bust alright, but can you at least try to be serious?

We tried to talk extension with Danny Nava, and Danny Nava talked up a 6-year, $15M contract, at which point the discussion ended.

By the start of November, the Raccoons signed extensions for one year each with Ricky McMahan ($1.1M), Gabriel Rios ($750k), and Vinny Morales ($700k).

+++

October 25 – The Miners claim MR Gabe Gomez (0-0, 15.43 ERA) off waivers by the Raccoons.
November 2 – The Crusaders deal SP Jarod Nesbit (42-45, 3.80 ERA), who led the CL in losses with 20 this season, to the Stars for 2B Chris McNulty (.260, 9 HR, 61 RBI) and a prospect.
November 7 – Boston acquires LF/CF Jeff Hawkins (.276, 18 HR, 91 RBI) from the Canadiens in exchange for veteran MR Travis Davis (44-44, 3.91 ERA, 63 SV) and a prospect.

+++

Jake Flowe and Rafael Murcia were non-tendered and left the team at the free agency deadline to save a couple of coins. J.P. Gallo declined salary arbitration, so we were eligible for a supplemental round pick once he signed with another team.

Minor league free agency was obtained by outfielders Marquise Early and Carlos Matas, as well as catcher Andrew Farlow, a former #13 pick that had just not amounted to anything in the end. The seventh-round Early had appeared in 295 games for the Raccoons between 2065 and 2069, batting .236 with eight homers. In the same timeframe the former scouting discovery Matas had batted .229 with four homers in 159 games. They’d not be missed.

26 players remained on the “extended” roster after the free agency deadline, half tossers, half pokers. This included at least three pitchers deemed not fit for service, and burners like Willie Jalomo and Dan Gomez, as well as seven outfielders in total.

Six of the 26 leftovers had contributed a negative WAR in 2070, in increasing order of uselessness: Holzmeister, van Otterdijk, Guerrero, George, Centeno, and Jalomo. Another six had produced less than half a win above replacement: Brown, Dan Gomez, Hunt, Colter, Corral, Gutierrez;

After additional cuts at the free agency deadline, Steve from Accounting had cleared the books and reported that there were $4.55M available in the budget and $1.37M in cash.

+++

November 17 – The Raccoons acquire C Gabe Rivas (.290, 13 HR, 76 RBI) from the Warriors in exchange for INF Josh Mireles (.235, 6 HR, 33 RBI).
November 24 – 35-year-old SP Ray “Crabman” Walker (172-111, 3.30 ERA), who had been a type-A free agent, resigns with the Rebels on a 3-yr, $19.8M deal.

+++

This idea came from the Warriors, and I was not opposed. Mireles wasn’t hitting, but Rivas was at least catching. Both made the minimum so the books were not affected. The team was down to three infielders, though.

The thrice-defending champions from Cincy offered a trade for Katz while awards were given out (we didn’t get any, calm down) and asked for outfield prospect Charlie Langohr while offering Mike White and two dim prospects themselves. White could actually hit (42 doubles and 19 homers between two teams this year), but that was not the type of prospect haul I was imagining.

The Indians had taken to the idea we’d want LF Wade Griffith for Jose Corral. Griffith was older, limited to leftfield, hitting only marginally better, and he somehow made even more money, which was why the Indians, who were *$8M* underwater to begin the offseason needed to get rid of him. And also a reason why we couldn’t do any trades with the Indians this winter.

And the former Critters newswire: Pedro Mendoza signed with the Thunder for $1.46M at age 40; and Justin Dowsey signed with the Miners for $3.74M over two years and was probably just glad to not be stuck in this hellhole any longer. Those were the only former Critters to sign a minor contract in the first week of the hot part of the offseason.

+++

2070 ABL AWARDS

Players of the Year: LAP LF/RF John Miller (.296, 30 HR, 98 RBI) and MIL C Manuel Rodriguez (.315, 33 HR, 120 RBI)
Pitchers of the Year: SFW SP Alex Diez (19-4, 2.35 ERA) and ATL CL Erik Swain (2-3, 1.22 ERA, 47 SV)
Rookies of the Year: DAL 2B Chris McNulty (.264, 8 HR, 48 RBI) and ATL OF David Mendoza (.283, 21 HR, 84 RBI)
Relievers of the Year: DAL CL Jerry Washington (8-3, 2.39 ERA, 45 SV) and ATL CL Erik Swain (2-3, 1.22 ERA, 47 SV)
Platinum Sticks (FL): P NAS Tony Marquez – C CIN Jorge Arviso – 1B DEN Juan Gutierrez – 2B SFW Jared Duhe – 3B SFW Matt Roller – SS SAL Tyrese Armstrong – LF LAP John Miller – CF SAC Mike Pinault – RF DEN Chris Tuck
Platinum Sticks (CL): P TIJ Bryan Farris – C MIL Manuel Rodriguez – 1B OCT Ian Stone – 2B MIL Fidel Carrera – 3B BOS Danny Miller – SS LVA Koji Hatakeyama – LF MIL Carlos Dominguez – CF BOS Eddie Marcotte – RF ATL David Mendoza
Gold Gloves (FL): P SAL Lupe Chavez – C SAL Fernando Contreras – 1B NAS Orlando Reyes – 2B LAP Willie Peralta – 3B DEN Beau Metz – SS TOP Jason Turner – LF SFW Jordan Lopez – CF PIT Anthony Schneider – RF CIN Fernando Cruz
Gold Gloves (CL): P NYC Jarod Nesbit – C NYC Ryan Marty – 1B LVA Leonardo Jimenez – 2B OCT Carlos Gutierrez – 3B LVA Matt Rodewald – SS CHA Trent Taylor – LF TIJ Josh Rugar – CF MIL John Parrish – RF TIJ Jake Elliott

[Westheim]

The Raccoons spent the last week of November trying to land a capable reliever with what was left on the fringes of the roster (not: Katz), which was entirely unsuccessful.

Such was the state of the Portland Raccoons in November of 2070, that they couldn’t even get a seventh-inning right-hander in a trade.

+++

November 26 – Pittsburgh signs ex-VAN C/1B Jonathan Contreras (.275, 50 HR, 223 RBI) to a 3-yr, $5.88M contract.
November 26 – The Canadiens pick up C/1B Mario Lopez (.202, 5 HR, 38 RBI) from the Bayhawks for SS Josh Kovach (.444, 0 HR, 4 RBI). Both players are 25 with a pair of cups of coffee in the majors.
November 28 – RF/INF/CF Jared Robichaud (.264, 39 HR, 213 RBI) is traded from Boston to Richmond along with almost $1M in cash for 1B Keith Bevilacqua (.309, 3 HR, 30 RBI).
November 29 – The Loggers bring in Falcons SP Ayahito Ochi (34-34, 3.52 ERA) in a trade for two prospects.
November 29 – The Titans acquire another first baseman, Hector Moreno (.272, 21 HR, 85 RBI), from the Canadiens for the price of two prospects.
December 1 – Rule 5 Draft: 12 players are selected across three rounds. The Raccoons draft #16 prospect CL Ron Rismiller off the Pacifics; 1B Josh Woodley off the Gold Sox; and RF/INF/CF Nick Luebbert off the Falcons.
December 1 – The Miners grab another former Canadiens player, INF Carlos Castro (.271, 28 HR, 316 RBI) with a 3-year, $7.52M contract.

+++

No other team selected three Rule 5ers. Also before you get excited about us getting the #16 prospect off the Pacifics, please know that Ron Rismiller had a shredded labrum and was going to miss at least the first two months of the season, if they got him stitched back together at all, so he probably would not be ranked by the new edition of the prospect rankings in April anymore. The other two picks were made in pure and unfiltered despair that we weren’t gonna get anybody. Luebbert in particular had been a #317 draft pick in the past – last round! Two of the three had never smelled even a triple-A stadium before.

It's so over.

[Westheim]

The team’s inevitable march into darkness continued with the news a couple of days later that Dan Gomez, dumped by his girlfriend (presumably because he was playing on the most awful team there was), tried to iron his own shirts and ended up dropping the hot iron on his foot, which was both burned and broken as a result. On the bright paw, there were still four months ‘til Opening Day, and I was sure Luis Silva would figure something out.

At this point the last hope remaining was that some GM would arrive at the Winter Meetings with a temporary blightening of the brain and would take a salary or two off the Raccoons, but to be honest, I wasn’t gonna bet a box of donuts on it anymore.

Only a small pawful of teams was declaring themselves to be in win-now mode, which didn’t make things any easier. I ended up gnawing around on the Warriors about a trade of one of the big salaries on the roster for a while, with the Raccoons getting not even any great prospects in return, but the deal didn’t come together. Jose Corral also proved to be a “vastly overpaid veteran” that was impossible to shift. I nearly had the Thunder in a spot where they would have traded us veteran reliever Marc Timmons – including his two Cincy rings and Corral-sized salary – but they backed out as the deal wasn’t good enough for them.

Finally, the Salvation Army also declined Jose Corral as a charitable donation. And Cristiano Carmona showed me side-by-side comparisons of the stats of Corral and Clyde “Avatar of Losing” Brady, and it was almost scary how they both had one great half-season, and then nothing but blech, poking their 11 homers a year for a pathetic batting average and merrily drawing a salary. Brady even had better speed and defense and posted a lot more WAR. He *never* went under 1.9 WAR in a full season in Portland. Corral posted 1.9 WAR or better THREE times in his career.

I gave up after even Pedro Valentin got no reasonable returns at the shopping desk.

Doom.

+++

December 5 – Denver trades catcher Ryan Rogers (.253, 84 HR, 391 RBI) to the Scorpions to pick up LF/CF Dao-zi Wang (.235, 6 HR, 38 RBI).
December 5 – The replacement is already in town as the Gold Sox sign ex-TIJ C Mike Brann (.247, 135 HR, 505 RBI) to a 2-year deal worth $3.92M.
December 6 – The Titans bring back CL Cody Kleidon (59-69, 3.21 ERA, 394 SV) on a 3-year deal for $12.6M. The 32-year-old spent the last two years with Federal League gigs in Sioux Falls and Topeka.
December 6 – The Capitals win the services of ex-TOP SS Jason Turner (.242, 157 HR, 738 RBI), as the 34-year-old signs a $1.32M contract.
December 6 – SP/MR Alex Dominguez (105-100, 3.68 ERA, 6 SV) and over $2M in cash are dealt from Richmond to Atlanta for young 2B/SS Dennis Wright (.251, 6 HR, 38 RBI) and a prospect.
December 6 – The Aces trade for Nashville’s LF/RF Kazuhide Takeuchi (.271, 94 HR, 387 RBI), parting with 2B/SS Carlos Cervantez (.274, 38 HR, 233 RBI).
December 7 – Sacramento sends SP Justin Kent (113-92, 3.49 ERA) to the Knights for a prospect.
December 7 – The Indians acquire C Andy Morris (.277, 17 HR, 98 RBI) and $900k in cash from the Crusaders for two prospects.
December 8 – The Loggers trade for L.A.’s SP/MR Kevin Bennett (13-13, 4.14 ERA) and $670k in cash while parting with two prospects, including #105 SP Eric Howell.
December 9 – The Titans also sign up ex-DAL CL Jerry Washington (128-80, 2.91 ERA, 233 SV) on a 3-year deal paying $14.64M to the 32-year-old.
December 9 – The Blue Sox trade SP Tony Marquez (74-74, 4.11 ERA) to the Capitals for 2B/3B Angelo Flores (.274, 176 HR, 924 RBI) and a prospect.
December 10 – The Gold Sox send LF/RF Steve Millen (.308, 29 HR, 155 RBI) to the Warriors for OF/2B/SS Devon Franks (.234, 5 HR, 62 RBI), AAA MR Manny Romero, and cash.

+++

24-year-old Manny Romero would have been in the deal of Humph to Sioux Falls that fell through. He’s not even special. But he would have had a spot on this godforsaken team.

At this rate I wasn’t so sure we’d get anybody or anything before April…

+++

December 14 – The Warriors ink ex-BOS C David Johnson (.282, 362 HR, 1,319 RBI) to a 3-year deal, nothing ordinary for a 36-year-old catcher, worth $19.9M.
December 16 – A catcher switcheroo is completed when the Titans sign the former Warriors catcher Nick Dingman (.280, 338 HR, 1041 RBI), promising $8.48M over two years to the 35-year-old.
December 17 – Cincy brings in ex-NYC LF/RF Javier Acuna (.274, 140 HR, 641 RBI) on a 2-year, $8.88M deal.
December 20 – Pittsburgh seems to have snapped completely by giving a $7.3M contract for one season to former Crusaders CL John Faughnan (47-35, 2.64 ERA, 213 SV).
December 24 – The Titans land another big blow on the league by signing former Aces OF Victor Lorenzo (.316, 27 HR, 559 RBI) on a 7-yr, $48.5M contract.
December 24 – The Crusaders snatch up SP Nate Freeman (56-60, 3.69 ERA) from their Vancouver division rivals for an offer of four years and $24.48M.
December 29 – Vancouver console themselves with the signing of ex-POR MR Danny Nava (47-35, 3.42 ERA, 52 SV) for $10.2M over three years.
December 30 – The Capitals sign ex-OCT SP Ken Nielsen (130-93, 3.32 ERA) for $16.5M over two seasons.

+++

The Raccoons continued to fail at unloading even modest pieces like Corral or Valentin. Benito Otal also proved worthless in December, and I wondered at which point we’d just accept our fate and resign ourselves to three last-place finishes and watching Big Wharton and Humph simply turn old and gray on the roster before they’d turn to dust.

True, Slappy, they might also turn old and gray *on the DL*. I wasn’t even considering that. (shrinks deeper into the pillows on the couch)

A new nadir was then reached in late December when we were doing something rather innocent and just looked around for an infielder that could cover the middle spots and third base rather well and was at least not a raging alcoholic and/or wifebeater. We came across a 26-year-old fringe player on the Loggers, with the rather short name Jon Fish, who had all of six games under his belt. The Loggers thought the price for him should be Jimmy Wharton or die.

And Maud won’t even let me die.

New homes for old Critters: Tyler Riddle got a 2-year deal worth $2.76M from the Titans; the Cyclones added Jorge Quinones to the juggernaut for $1.6M; Malcolm Spicer went to Elk City (…!!) for $1.88M of blood money; Nick Robinson at age 41 got $3.16M from the Caps;

+++

There is a Hall of Fame ballot with Lonzo on it, and this is as good a time as any to inform you that dastardly Omar Sanchez held on to his moribund career just long enough to steal one more base during the just finished season, and thus broke the tie with Lonzo for most career steals. It’s now Sanchez 753, Lonzo 752. Sanchez then promptly retired. *******.