FOBL Press Release

Subby · 11-07-2003, 03:56 PM

FOBL TAKES TIME OUT FROM EATING BABIES, SPANKING GRANNIES TO UNVEIL NEW WEB SITE

<b>Times Square, NY (AP)</b> - The universally reviled but shockingly perky Front Office Baseball League (FOBL) <a href="http://www.thefobl.com">unveiled its new web site</a> on Friday in front of thousands of bemused spectators and overwrought groupies. A media event without peer in recent decades, the announcement was precluded by a free concert from 80's rock legends Saga and emceed by world-famous gameshow host and consumate funnyman Louie Anderson.

"Hopefully we have created a web site that is accessible to the full spectrum of FOBL groupies," announced league commish Simon "Simms" Cable, "For instance, folks can now go to the site and download recipes from Cap City owner Buddy Grant or bid on a night of consensual sex with Hollywood owner Steve Shaw!"

Aside from the normal flashy crapola like owner bios, awards, league history, and mind-numbing minutiae, site visitors can watch streaming videos straight from the owner's boxes - including live feeds from the Las Vegas Lightning box and real audio from the Virginia Woodchucks box. Rumor has it that a slimmed-down and delicious Camryn Manheim was recently seen in the Vegas owner's box shaving her legs for a gaggle of fetishistic coke-snorting executives.

After the web site unveiling, leage executives passed out wax novelty teeth and collectible posters of Spanky, the league's lovable robotic assistant. Amid the shrieks of pure delight and rapture from the thousands of middle-aged housewives, one FOBL owner could be overheard to say, "I will make love to anyone within a 20-foot vicinity of me right now!"

Needless to say, the partying went on into the night as A-listers Jean-Claude Van Damme, Pauly Shore, and Melissa Rivers lent their celebrity star wattage to the violatile mix.

This anonymous newswire service editor has but one thing to say after witnessing the bacchanalian debauchery: here's hoping the FOBL Web site gets updated every freaking day!

alhill · 11-07-2003, 03:59 PM

When can we bid on non-consensual sex with Shaw? Or is that free?

Scarecrow · 11-07-2003, 04:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by alhill
When can we bid on non-consensual sex with Shaw? Or is that free?

I'll put it in FOBLWare.

Cooleyvol · 11-07-2003, 09:14 PM

VERY nice, guys. A great piece of work by whomever created it and you should all be proud of it.

Congratulations, but where's the coon? It looks so...........so, professional, that it can't be associated with the FOBL, can it??

potatoman · 11-07-2003, 09:33 PM

si there an opening in this league by any chance? expansion team maybe?

clarnzz · 11-07-2003, 09:49 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by potatoman
si there an opening in this league by any chance? expansion team maybe?

I'd suggest buying two cases of Fresca and 3 dozen mini-cheescakes and going from there.

Cuss16 · 11-07-2003, 10:14 PM

that is one nice website.

Cooleyvol · 11-07-2003, 10:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by potatoman
si there an opening in this league by any chance? expansion team maybe?

uh, you're not FOBL material.

How do I know this?

I'm not FOBL material, so I'm SURE that you arent FOBL material.

Seriously, this league has had like two owner changes in the last 6 seasons or so, so it ain't gonna happen Buckwheat.

Goody · 11-08-2003, 01:34 AM

Beveled logos on the FOBL front page?

I'd have never expected that.

PineTar · 11-08-2003, 03:38 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Goody
Beveled logos on the FOBL front page?

I'd have never expected that.

We were going to go with stills from Subby's pantsless webcam session, but we were worried about bandwidth.

sunnydoo · 11-08-2003, 06:09 AM

wow. very nice. shock and awe. shock and awe.

11-07-2003, 03:56 PM	#1
Subby Major Leagues Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 375	FOBL Press Release FOBL TAKES TIME OUT FROM EATING BABIES, SPANKING GRANNIES TO UNVEIL NEW WEB SITE <b>Times Square, NY (AP)</b> - The universally reviled but shockingly perky Front Office Baseball League (FOBL) <a href="http://www.thefobl.com">unveiled its new web site</a> on Friday in front of thousands of bemused spectators and overwrought groupies. A media event without peer in recent decades, the announcement was precluded by a free concert from 80's rock legends Saga and emceed by world-famous gameshow host and consumate funnyman Louie Anderson. "Hopefully we have created a web site that is accessible to the full spectrum of FOBL groupies," announced league commish Simon "Simms" Cable, "For instance, folks can now go to the site and download recipes from Cap City owner Buddy Grant or bid on a night of consensual sex with Hollywood owner Steve Shaw!" Aside from the normal flashy crapola like owner bios, awards, league history, and mind-numbing minutiae, site visitors can watch streaming videos straight from the owner's boxes - including live feeds from the Las Vegas Lightning box and real audio from the Virginia Woodchucks box. Rumor has it that a slimmed-down and delicious Camryn Manheim was recently seen in the Vegas owner's box shaving her legs for a gaggle of fetishistic coke-snorting executives. After the web site unveiling, leage executives passed out wax novelty teeth and collectible posters of Spanky, the league's lovable robotic assistant. Amid the shrieks of pure delight and rapture from the thousands of middle-aged housewives, one FOBL owner could be overheard to say, "I will make love to anyone within a 20-foot vicinity of me right now!" Needless to say, the partying went on into the night as A-listers Jean-Claude Van Damme, Pauly Shore, and Melissa Rivers lent their celebrity star wattage to the violatile mix. This anonymous newswire service editor has but one thing to say after witnessing the bacchanalian debauchery: here's hoping the FOBL Web site gets updated every freaking day!

11-07-2003, 09:33 PM	#5
potatoman Hall Of Famer Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: New Jersey Posts: 2,410 Infractions: 0/1 (1)	si there an opening in this league by any chance? expansion team maybe? __________________ GFBL - Storm - 5 seasons - 500 - 310 New Jersey Nighthawks (1227-717) Last 5 seasons 2011: 118-44 2012: 100-62 2013: 111-51 2014: 106-56 2015: 108-54 OTBA Champions: 2008, 2010,2011

11-07-2003, 10:14 PM	#7
Cuss16 Hall Of Famer Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: BC, CANADA Posts: 2,994	that is one nice website. __________________

11-08-2003, 01:34 AM	#9
Goody Hall Of Famer Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: South Korea Posts: 3,530	Beveled logos on the FOBL front page? I'd have never expected that. __________________ In the past: Laseron Baseball Association creator. Present: I am Rezulm on PT and OOTP Discord. Future: I wish it was the past.

11-08-2003, 06:09 AM	#11
sunnydoo Minors (Double A) Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Tennessee/Colorado Posts: 103	wow. very nice. shock and awe. shock and awe. __________________ "Genius attracts genius, just as stupidity attracts stupidity. Wisdom is knowing the difference." "I am so confused!"-Vinny Barbarino Minneapolis Millers, NML 1935 Great North Division/Western Conference Champs Santo Domingo Admirals, PABF 2016 PABF CHAMPS!!! 2017 SE Division Keg Creek Coyote Uglies,POTD 2009 Appy WC

11-07-2003, 03:59 PM	#2
alhill Minors (Single A) Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 79	When can we bid on non-consensual sex with Shaw? Or is that free?

11-07-2003, 09:14 PM	#4
Cooleyvol Hall Of Famer Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Union City, TN Posts: 6,383	VERY nice, guys. A great piece of work by whomever created it and you should all be proud of it. Congratulations, but where's the coon? It looks so...........so, professional, that it can't be associated with the FOBL, can it??