Portland Raccoons (ABL)

[Westheim]

Originally Posted by DD Martin

Good luck on the season. I’m going under the 82 wins at my bookie in Vegas. Hope I’m wrong

Faithless!!

+++

Raccoons (0-0) @ Indians (0-0) – April 2-4, 2041

Alright, bring on the munchkins! The calendar sent the Raccoons to Indianapolis to begin the season, where baseball hadn’t been kind to the Indians recently. They had lost 104 games in ’40, and were said to lose at least as many this time. Their Opening Day roster was a weird mix of veterans with contracts gone bad and a whole host of underdone rookies of 21, 22 years of age. We had beaten them 12-6 last year.

Projected matchups:
Bernie Chavez (0-0) vs. Jake Jackson (0-0)
Nelson Moreno (0-0) vs. Ayden Cobb (0-0)
Josh Brown (0-0) vs. Manuel Herrera (0-0)

All right-handers for Indy.

Game 1
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – CF Maldonado – LF Fernandez – 1B Levis – C Morales – RF Nettles – SS Hunter – P Chavez
IND: RF Crocker – 3B Hutson – C Mordino – 1B Dodson – LF D. Gonzales – CF D. Rivera – 2B E. Vargas – SS Huber – P J. Jackson

The team’s first hit of the season came by way of a Trevino single, and a minute later they also had their first double play hit into of the season, courtesy of Jesus Maldonado. Before long, Bernie Chavez gave up his first bomb to Dan Hutson, so that was plenty of the usual boxes ticked rather early. The Raccoons countered with a Manny Fernandez jack to lead off the second inning, but David Gonzales and Adam Huber, speaking of underdone rookies, landed two hits for another run in the bottom 2nd, staking Jackson to a 2-1 lead. While Manny and Morales both hit into double plays in the next two innings to kill any and all offensive ambition for Portland, Alberto Ramos fell down in foul ground in the bottom 4th chasing after a pop by David Gonzales. The tumble was mainly caused by too much friction between his fat thighs, and Gonzales eventually doubled on a 3-2 pitch before scoring on a 2-out single by Enrique Vargas, 3-1 Indians. That run was chalked up as unearned, and also shambolic.

While Bernie was not overly successful in the line score, he DID strike out nine Indians in six innings before running out of juice. He got back into a tie in the sixth by way of a 2-run homer blasted by Doug Levis (who would hit into a double play later), then got a lead when Miguel Reyna batted for him and singled home Stephon Nettles from third base in the seventh. The lead then survived David Lindstrom, Chuck Jones, and Alex Ramirez before arriving with Damon DeOrio in the ninth inning. Pat Dodson opened with a bloop single behind Tony Hunter, with DeOrio demonstratively spitting in the direction of Hunter. Then Gonzales sent one tingling up the middle to put the winning run on base. Danny Rivera hit into a fielder’s choice at second base, with the tying run in Dodson to third. Rikuto Ito had pinch-hit for Ramirez and grounded out in the top 9th, then had stayed in the game as defensive replacement for Berto in rightfield (it was complicated), then got to hustle in to snatch a soft fly by Vargas. That brought up one of those underdone rookies, Adam Huber, who was making his major league debut… and had skipped AAA entirely on the way here. DeOrio walked him, then stared down ex-Logger Danny Valenzuela with three on and two outs; the count ran full, and when DeOrio threw a fireball at the top of the zone, Valenzuela couldn’t keep up and whiffed. 4-3 Raccoons. Maldonado 2-4; Levis 2-4, HR, 2 RBI; Morales 2-4, 2B; Reyna (PH) 1-1, RBI;

Game 2
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – CF Maldonado – LF Fernandez – 1B Levis – C Kilmer – RF Balaski – SS Hunter – P Moreno
IND: RF Crocker – 3B Hutson – C Mordino – 1B Dodson – LF Valenzuela – 2B E. Vargas – CF D. Rivera – SS Huber – P Cobb

The Indians hit bushels of singles off Nelson Moreno; two in the first for a run, three in the third for another one, while the Raccoons were standing by and staring with their big black googly eyes. They didn’t do anything worth noting in the first three innings, and when Manny Fernandez hit a 1-out triple in the fourth inning, that came with nobody on and two strikeouts by Levis and Kilmer to follow up. Bill Balaski put the Coons on the board with a leadoff jack in the fifth, cutting the gap to 2-1. The Indians would go on to remove Cobb when Manny Fernandez reached base with two outs in the sixth inning. Right-hander Orlando Altreche instantly blew their lead, giving up a blast to Levis, and the Raccoons took a 3-2 lead.

Nels was still going despite the early poking, and while Valenzuela reached third base in the bottom 6th. Adam Huber was carved up for bacon to end that inning, and then Balaski and Hunter took to the corners with a leadoff walk and a single in the top 7th. Hunter stole second, and Nelson Moreno slapped a single up the middle to extend the lead to 4-2. Berto also hit an RBI single before being forced out on Cosmo’s grounder against new pitcher Joe Robinson. Cosmo stole second, prompting Maldonado to be walked with intent to load the bases for the left-handed Fernandez, who obliged and hit into a double play to kill the inning….. (blows dramatically) …

Moreno then loaded the bags with two singles (one of the infield variety) and a clumsy walk to Sal Mordino that indicated it was high time for a reliever. Alex Ramirez came in and ended the inning with K’s to Pat Dodson and Danny Valenzuela, no mean feat, and preserved the 5-2 edge. Top 8th, Portland had three on with no outs (woe is us!) with a Levis double, Kilmer walk, and Balaski single. Robinson walked Tony Hunter to force home a run, then struck out Ito before the rotund Ramos hit into a double play (…!) to end the inning. That was the Coon’s final offensive groan, but the Arrowheads didn’t do any better and only got a Nick Crocker single off Angelo Montano, who was boldly employed with a 4-run lead – and didn’t blow it. Neither did Juan Zabala in the ninth. 6-2 Raccoons. Ramos 2-5, RBI; Fernandez 2-5, 3B; Levis 2-4, HR, 2 RBI; Balaski 2-3, BB, HR, RBI;

The season is young still, but I think we’ve already seen every sort of double play out of the Critters except maybe one, a base runner being hit by the batted ball and the ball then caroming across the field to hit ANOTHER base runner.

That was also the entire series – ill weather caught up with the teams on Thursday and wiped out the series finale.

Raccoons (2-0) vs. Bayhawks (2-1) – April 5-7, 2041

San Francisco had taken two of three from the Condors so far, with 12 runs on each side. Their pen had an ERA over seven in the early going. The Coons’ bullpen ERA was zilch. But the Coons were also playing 1.000 ball, and neither of those two things would last forever. The Raccoons had lost only one game to the Baybirds in each of the last two seasons, which was probably also something that wouldn’t go on like that for all time.

Projected matchups:
Josh Brown (0-0) vs. Ryan Kinner (0-0)
Drew Johnson (0-0) vs. Noe Candeloro (0-0)
Ian Wilson (0-0) vs. Garrett Sutherland (1-0, 3.68 ERA)

Candeloro figured to be the only southpaw we’d see in this first week of the year. We’d dole out a slate of rest days despite the rainout for our lefty regulars. The next scheduled off day was another 10 games away.

Game 1
SFB: CF M. Hall – 3B Barcia – C Jo. Davis – RF D. Martinez – 2B G. Ortiz – SS Clary – LF Deming – 1B Gould – P Kinner
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – CF Maldonado – LF Fernandez – 1B Levis – C Morales – SS Hunter – RF Reyna – P Brown

There wasn’t a lefty batter in the opposing lineup for Josh Brown’s Coons debut, and before long Josh Davis clonked a solo homer off the foul pole to give the Birds a 1-0 lead. The Coons answered with four off Kinner in the bottom 1st, with Berto leading off with a single and being driven in with two outs by Manny Fernandez before the bases filled up. Tony Hunter then crashed a gapper for a bases-clearing double and the 4-1 lead. To that they added two unearned runs driven in by Levis in the second inning when Fernandez reached on Sergio Barcia’s error with two outs, loading the bases for Levis in the first place.

…at which point all offense abruptly ended. After the score got to 6-1, neither team did much (the Raccoons did more like nothing), and Brown cruised into the seventh inning before control eluded him and he was replaced after a 2-out walk in the inning. Juan Zabala got out of the inning and around his own leadoff walk to Barcia in the eighth, and Lindstrom and Jones combined for the ninth without any assorted accidents. 6-1 Raccoons. Ramos 2-4; Levis 2-4, 2 RBI; Brown 6.2 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 6 K, W (1-0);

At this stage there were only two teams left without an entry in the L column, the 3-0 Raccoons and the 2-0 Buffaloes, both weather-aided.

Then the Bayhawks preempted Candeloro from the Saturday game, instead bringing back Sutherland on regular rest. The Raccoons kept the left-handers in the lineup, and instead rested Cosmo (hitting 1-for-12) and Maldonado.

Game 2
SFB: CF M. Hall – 1B S. Ayala – C Jo. Davis – RF D. Martinez – 2B Gould – 3B Barcia – LF Oshiita – SS Clary – P Sutherland
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – C Kilmer – 1B Levis – RF Balaski – CF Nettles – 2B Kilgallen – P Johnson

The Raccoons put up another crooked number on Saturday, but only in the third inning. Matt Kilgallen hit a leadoff single in his season debut, was bunted over, and singled in by Tony Hunter with two outs. Manny then hit a jack, taking a 3-0 lead. Levis was robbed at the fence by Dave Martinez the following inning, while Drew Johnson in his return to Portland spun 4.2 casual innings without a hit or a strikeout before registering both to complete the inning. Dick Oshiita was the mean bean taking it all away. Johnson would go seven innings on a 2-hitter, losing control at the end and registering 104 pitches despite the early bid. Eric Clary hit a leadoff single off Ramirez in the eighth, but the right-hander then retired three in a row to end the inning and strand Clary at second base. Two players that made their first appearance of the year got the last dips in the game – Kilgallen hit a homer to left off Sutherland in the bottom 8th, and Brent Clark retired the Bayhawks in order with two strikeouts in the ninth. 4-0 Critters. Kilgallen 2-3, HR, RBI; Maldonado (PH) 1-1;

Maud? – Maud? – Is that really my team? – Maud? – Are you really Maud?

Slappy, say something. 4-0?

Game 3
SFB: CF M. Hall – 3B Barcia – RF D. Martinez – 2B G. Ortiz – SS Clary – C Canas – LF Balderrama – 1B Deming – P Candeloro
POR: SS Hunter – 3B Trevino – CF Maldonado – C Kilmer – 1B Levis – RF Balaski – LF Ito – 2B Kilgallen – P Wilson

Hunter and Cosmo opened the bottom 1st with hits, but Maldonado hit into a double play, which was too bad, given that both Kilmer and Levis unpacked RBI doubles and the Raccoons could have gotten more than two runs in the opening frame here. Balaski grounded out to Sonny Deming to keep them at that. The Bayhawks came back though, with Ian Wilson clumsily walking a pair so he could give up an RBI single, with two outs, to the opposing pitcher in the top 2nd. Somehow Mike Hall did not hit a 3-run homer (but failed by less than 30 feet…), and the Raccoons remained ahead for the moment. An Ito single and another Kilgallen homer (what the heck!) ran the tally to 4-1 in the bottom 2nd before Berto entered the game as injury replacement for Cosmo, who pulled something on a 2-out double. Berto then was thrown out at home plate on Maldo’s single, ending the inning. Two walks and a Rodrigo Canas RBI single with two outs in the top 3rd meanwhile established an unpleasant pattern for Wilson, but the Raccoons remained ahead with Edgardo Balderrama flying out easily. Portland went up 5-2 when Candeloro walked Kilmer and Levis to begin the bottom 3rd. Kilgallen hit the 2-out RBI single, with Rikuto Ito, on first after a fielder’s choice, thrown out at third base for another stupid third out.

Despite five runs of support, Ian Wilson didn’t get the W, or even out of the fourth inning, in which he walked Sonny Deming, Thomas Gould, and Dave Martinez, and was yanked with two outs after seven free passes in 3.2 innings. Zabala walked in a run against Greg Ortiz, then struck out Clary – 5-3 through the middle of four. Pushed into a corner, the Raccoons went to their reluctantly carried long man, Angelo Montano, and while it could have gone better, it also could have gone much worse. Montano allowed a hit and two walks, but only one run in three innings of work, and the Raccoons were still up 5-4 in the seventh-inning stretch, but hadn’t landed a base hit since Candeloro had been yanked at around the same time as Wilson. They got Berto on base with two outs against Michael Zabek in the bottom 7th, and also Maldonado. The Raccoons sniffed something against the righty Zabek, sent Tony Morales to hit for Kilmer, and Morales crashed a ball over the fence for a 3-run homer!

That was an 8-4 lead, but the Raccoons were also down to just one more bench player (Reyna). Sal Ayala singled and Barcia reached on a Lindstrom error, but Dave Martinez left them stranded with a grounder in the eighth inning. That was their last threat – DeOrio, out of work since Opening Day, ended the game with a 1-2-3 ninth despite a 4-run lead. 8-4 Raccoons! Trevino 2-2, 2B; Maldonado 2-4; Kilmer 1-2, BB, 2B, RBI; Morales (PH) 1-1, HR, 3 RBI; Kilgallen 2-4, HR, 3 RBI;

In other news

April 3 – NYC SP Dave Hils (0-0, 0.00 ERA) breaks his elbow upon being hit with a line drive, which will cost him the entire season.

FL Player of the Week: DAL 2B Hugo Acosta (.517, 0 HR, 7 RBI)
CL Player of the Week: OCT C Jesus Adames (.417, 4 HR, 7 RBI)

Complaints and stuff

Only undefeated team in baseball! Now, before you go berserk, remember who we played: the two teams of blind kids, and neither of them showed up with their guide dogs. We don’t actually get to play a *really* good team until a week from now. Next week will be against the Condors and Loggers.

10 runs allowed is the lowest mark in the league, but then again we also only played about three games and a half. The weather was iffy across the country this week though, with the Loggers, Buffos, and Caps all playing only FOUR games.

The rainout on Thursday has been rescheduled into a double header on September 2, which is well and dandy, since it will allow for expanded rosters and no pitching shortage. The Raccoons will indeed not travel back to Indy until then, but will go there twice in September.

Fun Fact: The Raccoons have the best defensive efficiency in the Continental League!

Oh the gullible joy of small sample sizes.

[alexsimon99]

We love to see an opening week of nothin' but wins and we don't care who it was against! WOOOOOOOO

[Westheim]

Raccoons (5-0) vs. Condors (2-3) – April 8-10, 2041

The Condors had played as many (or few) games as the Raccoons, scoring 28 runs and conceding 25, both in upper third in terms of quantity, but then again, weather had made the first week a shambles for quite a few teams, so those numbers meant little if anything. The Raccoons had won seven of nine from the Condors in ’40.

Projected matchups:
Bernie Chavez (1-0, 3.00 ERA) vs. Gilberto Rendon (0-0, 3.00 ERA)
Nelson Moreno (1-0, 2.84 ERA) vs. Tommy Kubik (0-0, 1.13 ERA)
Josh Brown (1-0, 1.35 ERA) vs. Jamal Barrow (0-0)

“Kitten” Kubik was the only left-hander we expected to encounter here. Their other southpaw had already gone twice, and Jose Lerma (0-2, 6.17 ERA) had the only decisions in the Tijuana rotation.

The Raccoons began the league hampered with an injury to Cosmo Trevino, who was day-to-day with a mild oblique strain, which might hamper him for most of the week. He was not in the lineup on Monday.

Game 1
TIJ: C Sawyer – 1B Willie Ojeda – CF Phinazee – 3B Rozenboom – RF R. Phillips – SS Strohm – LF Trahan – 2B Ragsdale – P G. Rendon
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Hunter – CF Maldonado – LF Fernandez – 1B Levis – C Morales – RF Balaski – 2B Kilgallen – P Chavez

Gilberto Rendon had chosen the bleak beigeness of Tijuana over the lush greens of Oregon, and was penalized by the Raccoons loading the bases to start their day at the plate, and taking a lead on an RBI single by Manny Fernandez. Levis struck out, while Tony Morales reached on catcher’s interference charged to Mike Sawyer, forcing in another run. Bill Balaski’s grounder plated another run, 3-0, before the inning ended with an intentional walk to Kilgallen and a pop to Nick Rozenboom by Bernie Chavez.

Tony Morales would hit a solo homer in the third inning, but the 4-0 lead screeched and slammed face-first into the fence in the fifth inning, where Bernie Chavez ran into a spot of bother in the form of not three, not four, but FIVE straight singles bit by the Condors after they had amounted to only two base hits and six strikeouts in the first four innings. Willie Ojeda and Mal Phinazee both hit a 1-out RBI single, Rozenboom hit a sac fly, and Ryan Phillips finally struck out. Bernie was finally bowled over with back-to-back singles by Dylan Ragsdale and Bill Moore with two outs in the sixth, and rescued by David Lindstrom when he got a groundout from Sawyer. After that it was Chuck Jones and Juan Zabala getting the Critters through eight for only one base hit (Chris Strohm), which was wiped off on a double play (Dave Trahan). The Raccoons couldn’t get beyond Bill Balaski singling in the bottom 8th, and it was DeOrio with a skinny run in the ninth then. Ragsdale started with a grounder to short for the first out. James Arnett was blasted away with a smooth 100. And Sawyer rolled over to Kilgallen, leaving the Raccoons undefeated. 4-3 Raccoons. Maldonado 2-4; Fernandez 2-4, RBI;

Game 2
TIJ: LF S. Martin – 1B Willie Ojeda – CF Phinazee – 3B Rozenboom – SS Strohm – C Sawyer – RF Trahan – 2B Ragsdale – P Kubik
POR: SS Hunter – 2B Kilgallen – 3B Maldonado – LF Fernandez – C Kilmer – 1B Levis – CF Nettles – RF Ito – P Moreno

Two walks and a single in a confused first inning cost Nelson Moreno an early run, but Mike Sawyer via an uncaught third strike on Manny Fernandez and Doug Levis by means of his third homer of the season had his back, giving him a 2-1 lead in the bottom 2nd. After that were two scoreless innings with 3 K for Nels before the Raccoons loaded the bases with nobody out in the bottom 4th, with the 4-5-6 batters reaching base on a single and two walks. The Raccoons got a run out of Stephon Nettles stepping in, but in the worst way, via double play. Ito was walked intentionally, Moreno grounded out, and I grumbled.

Moreno made it through five innings before the clouds overhead started to leak and brought on the tarp before the bottom 5th could commence. A hefty spring shower doused the park and brought on a delay of almost an hour. Moreno, on 71 pitches, would not be brought back, but got a comfy lead when the Condors *did* bring back Kubik for the bottom 5th, he gave up an RBI double to Kilgallen, a 2-run double to Kilmer, and then was yanked for Matt Schwartz, who fared little better, serving up a 2-out, 3-run bomb to Rikuto Ito that ran the tally to 9-1. That appeared to pretty much put the game away even before Doug Levis hit another bomb to left, a solo job off Brandon Bakst in the seventh inning… except that Alex Ramirez conceded a run to Nick Rozenboom’s double in the eighth inning, scoring Mal Phinazee. And that was before Chuck Jones got involved with the ninth inning. All of a sudden a flurry of hits gave the Condors a lift. Dave Trahan and Dylan Ragsdale reached base, Justin Simmons landed a pinch-hit RBI single, and then backup catcher Juan Guerra crashed a 3-run homer. Four runs in, Jones was yanked for Zabala, who got the game over with without further accidents… 10-6 Raccoons. Hunter 2-3, 2 BB; Fernandez 2-4; Levis 2-3, 2 BB, 2 HR, 3 RBI; Ito 1-1, 3 BB, HR, 3 RBI; Moreno 5.0 IP, 2 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 4 K, W (2-0);

Interlude: free agent signing

By Wednesday the Raccoons added another righty reliever in Tim Zimmerman (58-58, 3.36 ERA, 147 SV), 36-year-old veteran of the game, who closed 52 games in 2038 for the damn Elks. Zimmerman signed a $660k contract for the season. This ended the major league tenure of Angelo Montano for now, with him being reassigned to AAA with a 2.25 ERA in two relief outings.

Zimmerman was in uniform on Wednesday, but Wednesday became the Raccoons’ second rainout of the season, as Tuesday’s rain decided to hang around.

Raccoons (7-0) @ Loggers (5-2) – April 11-13, 2041

I wouldn’t have had my money on those two teams sitting first and second in the CL at any point this season, but here we were, undefeated, for a 4-game set in Milwaukee with the second-place Loggers. They were ninth in runs scored and third in runs allowed, but having played just seven games compared to some team’s nine or ten was certainly a factor. 2040 had brought the Raccoons neither luck nor fame against the Loggers, as we dropped ten of 18 games to them in that season.

Projected matchups:
Josh Brown (1-0, 1.35 ERA) vs. Carlos Padilla (0-1, 16.62 ERA)
Drew Johnson (1-0, 0.00 ERA) vs. Tony Fuentes (1-0, 1.50 ERA)
Ian Wilson (0-0, 7.36 ERA) vs. Sal Chavez (1-1, 2.93 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (2-0, 3.86 ERA) vs. Sergio Piedra (2-0, 2.08 ERA)

Only right-handers up here!

Game 1
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – CF Maldonado – LF Fernandez – 1B Levis – C Morales – SS Hunter – RF Reyna – P Brown
MIL: LF Lira – RF Duncan – 3B Paul – SS Del Vecchio – 1B Brayboy – C F. Gomez – CF Ronan – 2B V. Acosta – P C. Padilla

The Raccoons used a Cosmo double, Maldonado getting nicked, and RBI singles by Fernandez and Morales around a run-scoring groundout by Levis to take a 3-0 lead early on before Tony Hunter struck out to complete the top 1st. The Loggers shrugged it off and took the lead the same inning with a 4-spot over the body of Josh Brown, beaten into a bloody pulp. Things started off bad enough with a Cosmo error putting Tony Lira on base, but then Nick Duncan homered, 3-2. Jared Paul, Ted Del Vecchio, Aaron Brayboy, and Joseph Ronan all whacked singles for two more runs after that…

The Raccoons loaded the bags in the third inning with Cosmo, Maldo, and Levis and one out. Tony Morales’ sac fly tied the score at four, but Tony Hunter grounded out to keep two aboard. At least Brown seemed to have gotten over the beating and held the Loggers in place for long enough that a Maldonado jack in the fifth inning put Portland ahead, 5-4. Manny singled after that and scored on Morales’ gap double, while Hunter was walked onto the open base and instead Reyna grounded out. Brown was done after 5.1 innings and 100 pitches, after which the Raccoons brought out their newest toy, Tim Zimmerman, who allowed three screamers for the rest of the sixth inning, some of which were actually caught… He also pitched the seventh, which saw not quite as many Raccoons outfielders showing their uniform numbers on the back of the shirts to the camera behind home plate, and also no runs for Milwaukee. Brent Clark walked Del Vecchio, the impossible pest, to begin the bottom 8th, but then retired the next three. Portland scratched out another run in the ninth inning, which Cosmo got going with a 1-out gap double in left-center. Maldonado walked, Manny popped out, but Doug Levis got home a tack-on run for a 3-run lead before Kilmer hit for Morales against the left-handed Marvin Verduzco and grounded out. DeOrio was out for the home ninth then and gave up a double to Victor Acosta and singles to Tony Lira and Jared Paul, which made it 7-5, tying runs on the corners, two outs, and the insufferable Ted Del Vecchio up. The dismal **** weasel was only batting for a .606 OBP, but that was what always made these ho-hum coonskinners so vexing, and neither my pitchers nor my therapist, Dr. Schwartz, ever seemed to understand that…! And yes, of course ******* ******** Ted Del Vecchio hit a walkoff homer. 8-7 Loggers. Trevino 2-4, BB, 2 2B; Maldonado 2-3, BB, HR, RBI; Fernandez 2-5, 2B, RBI; Morales 2-3, 2B, 3 RBI;

Next time, Damon, just throw 100 in his ******* **** face.

Game 2
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – CF Maldonado – LF Fernandez – 1B Levis – RF Balaski – C Kilmer – SS Hunter – P Johnson
MIL: 2B Lira – CF Cannizzard – SS Del Vecchio – 1B Brayboy – 3B Paul – RF Duncan – C F. Gomez – LF J. Nelson – P T. Fuentes

I was on the phone with Dr. Schwartz to get an emergency remote session during the Friday game, watching from the comfort of my hotel room since it was 30 degrees at the ballpark and it was enough if the players froze off their 100 paws, and I kept three of mine under the sheets while holding the speaker with the fourth. What I saw on the muted TV was disheartening because the Raccoons produced close to nothing in the first five innings, spraying three hits in the most inefficient way possible, while the Loggers scratched out a run in the fourth, where Drew Johnson walked Aaron Brayboy before giving up the run on singles by Duncan and Felipe Gomez. Fuentes led off the bottom 5th with a single, but was stranded, and what was even worse than a leadoff single was Dr. Schwartz denying that I could banish my demons by just driving a stake into Ted Del Vecchio’s ******* dismal heart. Kilmer hit a leadoff double in the seventh, leading to two inefficient outs by the two Tonies, with Morales hitting for Johnson in a must-score spot. Berto then lined out to Del Vecchio to end the inning, leading me to cry on the phone with Dr. Schwartz.

The Raccoons, down 1-0 at the stretch, continued to be down 1-0 through eight with relief from Ramirez and Jones keeping the Loggers nearby for no particular reason. Nobody reached for Portland in the top 8th, and they went on to face Kurt Crater in the ninth inning. Levis grounded out. Balaski singled, but Kilmer whiffed. Tony Hunter grounded to short, ******* Ted Del Vecchio made the play, and the Coons had their first losing streak. 1-0 Loggers. Ramos 2-4, 2B; Balaski 2-4; Johnson 6.0 IP, 6 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 5 K, L (1-1);

(nestles under the sheets in complicated fashion before finally pulling out a ruffled-looking stuffed toy raccoon) Honeypaws, I don’t think Dr. Schwartz understands my pain.

Game 3
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – SS Maldonado – LF Fernandez – 1B Levis – RF Balaski – C Kilmer – CF Nettles – P Wilson
MIL: LF Lira – CF Cannizzard – 3B Paul – SS Del Vecchio – 1B Brayboy – C F. Gomez – RF J. Nelson – 2B V. Acosta – P S. Chavez

Now tied for the lead in the North, the Loggers took the lead from the Coons in the bottom 1st without the benefit of a hit. Wilson walked Jared Paul with two outs, threw a wild pitch, and Del Vecchio’s grounder was thrown well past Doug Levis by good ol’ Berto to allow the runner to score. The Raccoons brought up only the minimum the first time through, with Cosmo hitting a single and getting 5-4-3 doubled up by Maldonado. Maldo also grounded at Jared Paul in the fourth with Berto on first base and one out, but this time Paul threw the ball away and the Raccoons got a free runner. First and second, one out, Manny squeezed a ball over the second base bag, slowly enough for Berto to score with the tying run from second base before Tim Cannizzard could get to the ball and runners remained on first and second… all the way to the end of the inning. Levis flew out to left, Balaski flew out to right. A leadoff double by Jeff Kilmer in the fifth also led absolutely nowhere. Another chance blossomed in the sixth with ANOTHER leadoff double, this time by Cosmo. Maldo grounded out, Manny walked, and Levis popped out. I sighed in my bed and hugged Honeypaws a little tighter, but then Balaski came through with a single to right, giving Portland a 2-1 lead with two outs. Kilmer rammed a 2-2 pitch by Sal Chavez into the leftfield corner for an RBI double. Nettles was walked intentionally, and the Raccoons hit for Wilson, who had allowed only one hit, but three walks in five innings, and would probably not make it much further, either. Miguel Reyna grabbed a stick … and grounded out.

The 3-1 lead then went to Zimmerman, who allowed three hits and a run before Maldonado fumbled an Acosta grounder that also conceded the tying run. Chavez struck out in the tied game for the second out before Zimmerman was yanked for Zabala, who steadfastly gave up a 3-run blast to Tony Lira, putting the Loggers up 6-3. I groaned bitterly. At least I was sure that Honeypaws understood my pain. He just didn’t care.

Top 7th, Cosmo and Maldo reached base against Chavez with one out. Manny grounded out, but Doug Levis ripped a double that plated the two runners and cut the gap back to 6-5. Balaski grounded out, but at least threw out Jared Paul at home plate when he tried to score from second base on a Brayboy single in the bottom of the inning. A pinch-hit single by Tony Morales and Berto getting nicked led nowhere nice in the eighth inning and the Raccoons faced right-hander Ray Harris and his 16.20 ERA in the ninth inning, once again down by one run. Maldo flew out to left, but Manny hit a double past Justin Nelson to put the tying run in scoring position. Levis rushed a grounder up the middle for a single, Manny scored aggressively, and defeat was staved off for the time being. Balaski and Kilmer made outs to end the inning, though, and then David Lindstrom faced the top of the order in the bottom 9th. Or rather, Tony Lira. Only Tony Lira. Who hit the second walkoff homer of the weekend. 7-6 Loggers. Trevino 3-5, 2B; Fernandez 2-4, BB, 2B, RBI; Levis 2-5, 2B, 3 RBI; Kilmer 2-5, 2 2B, RBI; Morales (PH) 1-1;

Honeypaws, you know that we’re never going to leave this bed again, right?

Game 4
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – CF Maldonado – LF Fernandez – 1B Levis – C Morales – SS Hunter – RF Reyna – P B. Chavez
MIL: 2B Lira – CF Cannizzard – SS Del Vecchio – 1B Brayboy – 3B Paul – RF Duncan – C H. Alvarez – LF J. Nelson – P Piedra

Milwaukee was back on the horse early, thanks to Bernie walking Lira and *****muffin Del Vecchio before giving up a single to Brayboy for a run, all in the bottom 1st. The Raccoons would make that deficit up in the third inning on singles by Berto and Cosmo as well as a throwing error by the *****muffin before Manny grounded out to strand a pair. The *****muffin of course got back at Portland right away, reaching base with Brayboy in the bottom 3rd before Jared Paul crashed a 3-run homer to left, digging a 4-1 hole. Nick Duncan also singled, and here was the next 4-game sweep at the axes of the Loggers. Speaking of 4, the Loggers tacked on four runs in the fourth inning, tearing Bernie Chavez in half, starting with a triple by Sergio Piedra. The rest of the massacre occurred with two outs; back-to-back RBI doubles by Cannizzard and *****muffin, a swift pitching change, and then another RBI double off Chuck Jones. Paul hit an RBI single before Nick Duncan unluckily flew out to end the inning.

Portland scored three on a 2-run bomb by Manny Fernandez in the top 5th, plating Cosmo and Maldo in the process, but that still left the team down by a slam. Two innings of nothing followed, at least until Brent Clark stepped in and walked three people before giving up a 2-out, bases-clearing double, driving another seven nails into that old coffin of ours. 11-4 Loggers. Trevino 2-3;

In other news

April 12 – New York utility Tyler Miles (.556, 1 HR, 6 RBI) has four hits and 6 RBI in a 14-0 thrashing of the Titans.
April 12 – Outfielder Dave Trahan (.182, 0 HR, 0 RBI) scores on a ninth-inning passed ball charged to Vegas’ Ken Wiersma (.143, 0 HR, 1 RBI), giving the Condors a 10-9 walkoff win.
April 13 – NAS SP Kevin Stice (2-0, 0.86 ERA) has a no-hitter broken up with a leadoff single by Pittsburgh 3B/SS Mike Miles (.233, 0 HR, 2 RBI) in the bottom of the ninth inning. The Blue Sox’ pen takes over and collapses just as swiftly, blowing the 3-0 lead to send the game to extra innings, where they lose 4-3 in the 10th on a walkoff single by PH Adrian Wade (.300, 0 HR, 1 RBI).

FL Player of the Week: WAS 1B Adam Avakian (.583, 1 HR, 7 RBI), hitting 1.000 (7-7) with 1 HR, 7 RBI
CL Player of the Week: POR OF Manny Fernandez (.357, 3 HR, 10 RBI), batting .417 (10-24) with 1 HR, 6 RBI

Complaints and stuff

While the Raccoons were undefeated by the time they arrived in Loggertown on Thursday morning; also on two rainouts, while the CL South also was headed by a three-way tie between the Falcons, Thunder, and Bayhawks, all with 4-5 records. Needless to say, baseball has been weird this season.

Speaking of Loggertown…

…actually I don’t want to talk about that. It hurts too much. It hurts like… (tugs on the halberd stuck in his neck)

Sigh.

This week’s rainout will ALSO be made up in September, in a double-header on the 16th. It doesn’t matter, we’ll just add another ten Francisco Penas. No-no, Pena is gone and won’t come back, but there’s always more in the hole he crawled out of.

Fun Fact: The Raccoons lost consecutive season series to the Loggers in 2039-40.

That was the first time we lost the season series in back-to-back years since Nick Brown’s younger years, 2005-06.

I feel old.

[Westheim]

Raccoons (7-4) @ Titans (7-5) – April 15-17, 2041

The Titans were only hitting .197 as a team so far, with the second-fewest runs scored, but maybe they’d be refreshed by our wonky pitching. They were in the top three for fewest runs allowed. The 2041 season series had ended up tied, but after that Loggers debacle I was not believing much in the team despite a 7-0 start (against almost farcical opposition).

Projected matchups:
Nelson Moreno (2-0, 2.38 ERA) vs. Mario Gonzalez (1-0, 1.54 ERA)
Josh Brown (1-0, 3.00 ERA) vs. Eunice Suyumov (1-0, 1.13 ERA)
Drew Johnson (1-1, 0.69 ERA) vs. Philip Wise (0-2, 16.20 ERA)

Two southpaws followed by a battered right-hander was the Titans’ battleplan.

Game 1
POR: SS Hunter – 3B Trevino – CF Maldonado – LF Fernandez – C Kilmer – 1B Levis – 2B Kilgallen – RF Ito – P Moreno
BOS: 3B Gil – LF W. Vega – CF Vermillion – 1B A. Zacarias – 2B M. Hurtado – C Graham – RF Beard – SS Nieblas – P M. Gonzalez

The Raccoons’ season fell apart with great shebang right at the start of this game, with Tony Hunter reaching base on a single, Cosmo Trevino flying out to left, and Maldonado having his wrist broken by a fastball for an ugly noise that told everybody in attendance that they wouldn’t have to wait for the X-rays on this one. Stephon Nettles took over while I stared in silence, with Doug Levis singling home a run in the inning. That was all the Portland offense early on, with Nelson Moreno not allowing a hit through three innings, but walking a batter in each of them. The Titans took to landing hits only in the bottom 4th, with Mark Vermillion and Mario Hurtado reaching the corners before a sac fly by Andy Graham tied the game at one. Moreno issued a leadoff walk to Orlando Nieblas in the fifth inning, which the Titans converted into run(s) in style with a triple by Antonio Gil through a diving Trevino, then a line drive homer by Willie Vega. That put them up 4-1. Cosmo not only failed to contain Gil’s fast bouncer, he also murdered all offense for the Furballs, being on the corners with Ito in the fourth before being caught stealing for the final out, and finding Ito and Hunter on the corners in the sixth with two outs, only to pop out poorly.

The game got out of hand for good in the seventh; good ol’ Jimmy Wallace hit a pinch-hit double off Moreno, who was lifted for Chuck Jones. Now, 2040 had seen a fairly reliable Chuck Jones. 2041 saw a Chuck Jones unable to get anybody out. Vega ripped an RBI double, as did Vermillion. He then walked Alex Zacarias. Hurtado would flick an RBI single off Tim Zimmerman to get to 7-1. And yet, lo and behold, the Raccoons twitched in the eighth. Levis and Kilgallen reached base against Gonzalez, followed by a 3-run homer smashed by Rikuto Ito. Balaski hit for Zimmerman, reached base, and was on third base by the time there were two outs on the board. Nettles was up, 0-for-3 in the game and about 1-for-6,000 on the season. The Raccoons went for the maximum applicable penalty and hit Berto for him, desiring to get that run home. They got that run home with a slap single, 7-5, then loaded the bases until Levis flew out to Vega to strand all three runners. Ernesto Huichapa and Gil hit leadoff singles off Alex Ramirez in the bottom of the inning, only to be doubled up and made redundant by Vermillion, but the Raccoons disappeared in order against right-hander Javy Santana anyway… 7-5 Titans. Hunter 3-5; Ramos (PH) 1-1, RBI; Kilgallen 2-5; Ito 2-4, BB, HR, 3 RBI; Balaski (PH) 1-2, 2B;

Off to the DL it was with Maldonado, who came back from the hospital with a blue forearm cast with yellow accents, explaining, when challenged by his GM why he wore the colors of the enemy, that the doctor and nurse had said these were the only colors they had. And they had snickered weirdly. And the doctor had worn a Titans cap.

I swore revenge to the baseball gods, authorized Josh Brown to throw at Mark Vermillion’s head on Tuesday, then ordered a replacement position player from AAA. Jose Brito and Nick Lando had both taken a backseat to young Arturo Carreno in St. Pete, and were readily available as backup infielder. We picked Lando, who was on the 40-man roster already.

Game 2
POR: SS Hunter – 3B Trevino – LF Fernandez – C Kilmer – 1B Levis – RF Ito – CF Reyna – 2B Lando – P Brown
BOS: 2B M. Hurtado – 1B A. Zacarias – LF W. Vega – RF M. Avila – CF Vermillion – SS Toney – 3B Gil – C Huichapa – P Suyumov

Brown indeed nicked Vermillion, but in the bum, in the bottom 1st. Unfortunately that loaded the bases with two outs, and Mike Toney was up to slap a 2-run single. Nick Lando, injected into the lineup because why not, hit an RBI double to score Levis in the second, but the Titans just kept adding on. Alex Zacarias blasted a home run to right, with Hurtado on base, to extend the deficit to 4-1 in the bottom 2nd, and I released a tortured sigh that got not one, but two attendants to inquire about my well-being. I hissed at them that I would be better if their ******* team wasn’t winning.

The Raccoons came near winning in the sixth inning after three innings of mutual non-aggression. Manny hit a 2-out triple off the fence in rightfield, then was plated by Kilmer. The bases filled up with Levis and Ito also reaching, but then Reyna fouled out to strand all of them. The tying runs would be in scoring position again in the seventh. Suyumov hit Lando, and Hunter dished a double to right, indeed getting close to tying the 4-2 game. They got done even less than the previous inning – Cosmo grounded out to Gil, and Manny flew out to right, and the tying runs retreated to the dugout without crossing home plate. Gilberto Castillo retired the Raccoons in order in the eighth before Adam Howell nicked Miguel Reyna to begin the ninth. Lando, heretofore unretired, struck out, and Berto grounded out. Tony Hunter was up with Portland down to their last out – and hit a jack to right to stave off defeat …! Bill Balaski hit for Brent Clark, grounded out, but Tim Zimmerman got the game to extras with three outs from three batters in the bottom 9th.

Portland would score next, in the 11th. It started with Seth Green walking Lando with one out in the inning. Berto was no help, but the Tony Brigade struck; Hunter and Morales both slapped singles off Green, which brought Lando around to score and break the 4-4 tie. Manny Fernandez came through with another single to right-center, with Tony Hunter scoring narrowly ahead of Moises Avila’s throw. Green out, Andy Bressner in, and inning over with a K to Jeff Kilmer. DeOrio got the inning over quickly in the bottom 11th, ending the Raccoons’ 5-game losing streak. 6-4 Raccoons. Hunter 4-6, HR, 2 RBI; Morales (PH) 1-1, RBI; Fernandez 2-6, 3B, RBI; Kilmer 2-5, RBI; Levis 2-5; Lando 1-2, 2 BB, 2B, RBI;

Hey, we can apparently still win games!

Well, at least one.

Game 3
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF Fernandez – 1B Levis – C Morales – SS Hunter – RF Balaski – CF Nettles – P Johnson
BOS: 3B Gil – LF W. Vega – 1B A. Zacarias – RF M. Avila – 2B M. Hurtado – C Graham – CF Toney – SS Nieblas – P P. Wise

Berto opened the game with a double and scored right away on a Cosmo single, but the Raccoons then stuttered into stranding Trevino at third base. The Titans then took the lead with a double by Gil and a homer by Willie Vega, without much fuss. But Portland was not defeated that easily this time – Manny Fernandez would homer to right to tie the score in the third inning, and we went up 3-2 in the fourth with a Hunter single, stolen base, and Balaski’s RBI double. The Titans answered with three runs on one hit in the bottom 4th, which saw Johnson walk Zacarias and Avila, nick Graham, and give up two runs on a Mike Toney double to right… and then another one on Nieblas’ sac fly. That made it 5-3 Boston on just three hits total for the blue team.

The tying runs were on the corners in Cosmo and Levis in the fifth with one out, but the only run to score did so on a wild pitch, and that run was reclaimed by the Titans as they chewed up Johnson for good in the bottom 6th with two hits and one walk. On to the seventh, which Cosmo opened with a double to right. Manny walked against new reliever “Graveyard” Gill, before Levis struck out and Morales popped out. Hunter walked, loading the bases for Ito, hitting for Balaski against the lefty pitcher. Ito walked, forcing in a run, and Kilgallen hit for the entirely successless Nettles, but struck out. Brent Clark held Boston away in the bottom 7th before Nick Lando became the tying run with a leadoff single in the #9 hole against Seth Green in the eighth. Three poor grounders by the 1-2-3 batters stranded him, and the team remained behind 6-5. Until the bottom 8th, that was, in which Juan Zabala walked three and allowed two hits, the last of them a homer to right by Ernesto Huichapa, in a 5-run explosion. 11-5 Titans. Trevino 3-5, 2 2B, RBI; Lando (PH) 1-2;

Well, we never had a chance to win this game. When have we EVER won a series in Boston…

Raccoons (8-6) @ Aces (6-9) – April 19-21, 2041

The Aces were 10th in runs scored *and* runs allowed in the early going (Coons: 2nd, 7th, respectively). They could hit home runs (4th in CL with 15), but they surely could not steal bags (3, bottoms). They did have the best bullpen in the league, though, which made me envious all the same… We had lost this season series two years running, dropping five of nine games in ’40.

Projected matchups:
Bernie Chavez (2-1, 7.04 ERA) vs. Oscar Valdes (0-3, 5.60 ERA)
Nelson Moreno (2-1, 4.08 ERA) vs. Willie Gallardo (1-2, 4.50 ERA)
Josh Brown (1-0, 4.00 ERA) vs. Israel Mendoza (1-1, 2.38 ERA)

All righties from their side!

Game 1
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF Fernandez – 1B Levis – C Morales – SS Hunter – RF Balaski – CF Reyna – P Chavez
LVA: CF Dustal – 3B Rossi – 2B D. Richardson – RF Jorgensen – SS O’Keefe – 1B J. Velazquez – LF Burgos – C D. Gomez – P O. Valdes

Doug Richardson and Steve Jorgensen hit back-to-back jacks off Boom-Boom Chavez right in the first inning, giving the Raccoons that all too familiar feeling of trailing again. While the Raccoon drew a few walks, but had no base hits through four innings, Bernie looked every bit like he would cause more agony, fooling nobody, and causing the outfielders to play two feet deeper each inning after another. When the Aces got to him again in the fourth inning, it was ironically not a homer, but walks issued to John Velazquez, who stole a base and advanced to third on Morales’ off throw, and Danny Gomez, who also stole second base, because Raccoons. With two outs Jonathan Dustal cashed both runners with a double to right, then was stranded when Nate Rossi was retired at the fence by Manny Fernandez…

The Raccoons would not score an earned run against Oscar Valdes, who walked EIGHT batters in the game, but only allowed one hit, a Berto single in the fifth. The Raccoons stupendously found every double play to hit into that offered itself up, and once Berto was also picked off first after walking. They *did* score a pair in the seventh inning, but on two errors and only after ex-Coon Sal Lozano had replaced the out of control Valdes. Nate Rossi then hit a jack off David Lindstrom in the bottom 7th to get the Aces back out to slam range, 6-2… That was barely enough to weather the Raccoons’ rally in the eighth, which included five hits off four different pitchers, starting with Miguel Reyna in the #8 hole. Berto singled, Cosmo hit a sac fly, 6-3, and Manny hit another single. Levis and Morales both hit RBI singles off Derek Barker and Marty Madera, respectively. The string ended with Tony Hunter, stranding runners on first and second. While Chuck Jones and Tim Zimmerman sure tried to implode in the bottom 8th, the Aces left runners on the corners, meaning the Raccoons had to make up one run to tie, and two to take the lead against righty Aaron Duval in the ninth inning. Ito pinch-hit to start the inning, hitting for the pitcher in the #7 hole. He grounded out to short. Reyna flew out softly. Nettles singled, getting his batting average up all the way to .077, stole second base as I shrieked in horror, then scored on a single Berto slapped through the right side, tying the game at six after all…! Berto was then caught stealing…

Ian Wilson had been skipped in the rotation for this game, then pitched a scoreless bottom 9th to send the game to extras, *and* became the pitcher of record on the long side, provisionally, when Manny Fernandez hit a leadoff double in the 10th and scored on two decent outs. DeOrio came out and walked PH Corey Caldwell with two outs to get the winning run to the plate for the Aces. A guy in a black-and-red jester costume in the first row on the first base side held up an oversized Two of Spades while pointing at the ex-Ace DeOrio, with several other fans around him also point and shouting, apparently voicing displeasure at DeOrio with his befuddled reputation, but that only made him angrier and he carved up Ken Wiersma for a game-ending K when Wiersma was usually that annoying low-talent coonskinner always good for a walkoff homer. 7-6 Coons. Ramos 3-4, 2 BB, RBI; Fernandez 3-5, BB, 2B, RBI; Morales 2-3, 2 BB, 3 RBI;

Game 2
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF Fernandez – C Morales – SS Hunter – RF Ito – 1B Kilgallen – CF Reyna – P Moreno
LVA: CF Dustal – 3B Rossi – 2B D. Richardson – RF Jorgensen – LF Caldwell – SS O’Keefe – C D. Gomez – 1B J. Velazquez – P W. Gallardo

Nels allowed four hits in the first three innings, but the Aces remained off the board, stranding runners on the corners in the second inning and running themselves out of the first and third frames. Nate Rossi was caught stealing in the former, while Jonathan Dustal was thrown out at third base by Rikuto Ito on a 2-out Doug Richardson single in the latter. Portland was however just as successful and the game remained scoreless early on. Berto and Cosmo landed hits to go to the corners in the fifth inning, but then were stranded with a pop by Manny and a groundout by Morales. Berto was on again in the seventh, again for no greater good, and Chris O’Keefe singled off Moreno with one out in that inning, stole his way to third base, and was stranded when Ken Wiersma pinch-hit for Velazquez and popped out.

Both teams then had runners thrown out stealing in the eighth inning. For the Coons it was Hunter, ending the inning, while for the Aces it was Ozzie Burgos, who had opened the bottom half with a single up the middle. Dustal legged out an infield single, but Moreno dug a trench and struck out Nate Rossi. The runners went there, and Morales axed Burgos at third base. Mound conference, advising Moreno that Richardson was his last batter and he should give his all. Nels drilled him at 1-2, then was lifted for Alex Ramirez, who gave up a yowling 2-run double to Steve Jorgensen to piss the game away. 2-0 Aces. Ramos 2-4, BB, 2B; Levis (PH) 1-1; Moreno 7.2 IP, 8 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 1 BB, 3 K, L (2-2);

This ******* bullpen…

Game 3
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF Fernandez – 1B Levis – C Kilmer – RF Ito – SS Hunter – CF Nettles – P Brown
LVA: 1B van Brunt – SS O’Keefe – RF Jorgensen – C Wiersma – CF Rossi – 3B D. Richardson – 2B Bensinger – LF Dustal – P I. Mendoza

Portland scored first (sic!) with soft singles by Berto to start the contest and by Levis with two outs. With Jeff van Brunt and Chris O’Keefe on base, Ken Wiersma hit a hard liner right into Trevino’s mitten in the bottom 1st, giving the Raccoons an unusual lucky break. Not that the lead would last – Portland got nothing together in the next two innings, and O’Keefe took Brown deep to tie the score in the bottom 3rd instead.

Top 4th, Kilmer hit a double off Mendoza with one down, with Ito then grounding to short. O’Keefe threw the ball away for two bases, gifting the lead back to the Raccoons as Kilmer scored, 2-1. Tony Hunter sunk a double in the gap in a full count, 3-1, but Nettles grounded out and Brown whiffed to strand him. Bottom of the inning, Brown nailed Richardson, then struck out three in a row to escape.

Brown was done after just five innings, throwing 90 pitches, mostly in the first and fourth innings. The Raccoons held on to the 3-1 lead through seven, with scoreless frames by Zabala and Zimmerman… then came apart violently again and once more. Jorgensen ripped a 1-out triple off Zimmerman in the bottom 8th, with the right-hander also allowing an RBI double to ******* Ken Wiersma, 3-2. Brent Clark came on, bled three more hits in a row, and after a Rossi single, Richardson double, and Bensinger single was 5-3 behind. The Raccoons would put the tying runs in scoring position with singles by Balaski, hitting for Nettles, and Berto in the top 9th. Confusion between Caldwell and Jorgensen allowed both runners to reach scoring position. The pitcher’s slot was up next, Cosmo having been replaced at second by Nick Lando earlier, so Tony Morales grabbed a stick against none other than ex-Critter Francisco Pena. Morales got home a run with a grounder, a token gesture unless Manny could get something done with two outs. And he did – singling up the middle to tie the game at five! Well, Aces, that’s Francisco Pena for you…! Pena was shanked for Derek Barker after that blow, who struck out Levis to end the inning. Alex Ramirez then survived a few sharp grounders to send the third game of the week to extras, where Kilmer started things with a double to left. Hunter singled after Ito whiffed, and Balaski added a sac fly to take the lead. Hunter stole second, but was stranded when Lando popped out. DeOrio, undeterred by braying and low-rank XXXL cards being waved at him, retired the Aces in order. 6-5 Critters. Ramos 2-5; Trevino 3-4, 2 2B; Kilmer 2-5, 2 2B; Hunter 3-5, 2B, RBI; Balaski (PH) 1-1, RBI;

In other news

April 15 – OCT C Jesus Adames (.326, 6 HR, 11 RBI) was off to a hot start, but now has to take a seat on the cold DL, having strained an oblique that will put him on the shelf for a month.
April 15 – TOP OF J.P. Angeletti (.452, 2 HR, 7 RBI) would miss two months with torn ligaments in his thumb.
April 16 – Salem SP Kyle Dominy (3-0, 1.80 ERA) spins a 3-hit shutout against the Pacifics for a 4-0 Wolves win. A single in the same game gives Salem’s Armando Herrera (.385, 1 HR, 8 RBI) a 20-game hitting streak that dates back to 2040.
April 16 – The game between the Thunder and Aces ends 6-2 in favor of the latter in the 11th inning when LVA C Danny Gomez (.250, 3 HR, 7 RBI) pinch-hits and crashes a walkoff grand slam off Wyatt Hamill (0-1, 1.04 ERA, 5 SV).
April 16 – The Rebels beat the Buffaloes, 17-6, crushing them with a 10-run eighth inning. RIC 3B/LF Josh Frazier (.288, 4 HR, 14 RBI) has three hits and drives in handful in the rout.
April 17 – The hitting streak of Salem’s CF/RF Armando Herrera (.351, 1 HR, 8 RBI) ends right away in a 2-1 Wolves win over the Pacifics.
April 17 – WAS SP Jerry Banda (1-2, 5.88 ERA) 3-hits the Blue Sox in a 6-0 shutout.
April 19 – BOS CL Javy Santana (0-1, 4.35 ERA, 3 SV) has an epic meltdown, walking off the Falcons with an error made himself in between four walks issued to them in the bottom of the ninth inning, turning a 2-1 Titans lead into a 3-2 Falcons win.
April 20 – Condors and Indians need 13 innings to get anybody to score a run, with Tijuana taking the 1-0 victory with an RBI single by OF Mal Phinazee (.271, 1 HR, 5 RBI) in the top of the inning.
April 21 – SFB OF Josh Dahlman (.448, 0 HR, 2 RBI) is out for the season, having ruptured his medial collateral ligament.

FL Player of the Week: RIC 3B/LF Josh Frazier (.319, 6 HR, 18 RBI), hitting .440 (11-25) with 3 HR, 9 RBI
CL Player of the Week: VAN OF Jerry Outram (.417, 8 HR, 18 RBI), batting .500 (12-24) with 5 HR, 10 RBI

Complaints and stuff

The damn Elks took the lead in the North on Thursday, slapping the Loggers for 11 runs to leap past them. I wrote the season off right there and then, but the Loggers actually found a way to get back in front by the end of the week. Good for them! We’ll chill back here, two games out in third place, unconcerned with that race – if it is one.

The Raccoons arrived in all the ninth innings trailing this week, which is not a recipe for enduring success. They made up three deficits and won all those in extras, but there might be more successful business models out there…

The pitching is mostly gruesome, and the defense is just the same. Offensively there are really only two strugglers, Reyna and Nettles. Everybody else has a 99 OPS+ or better. Is Rikuto Ito an .890 OPS batter for the future? Maybe, maybe not. But with Maldonado out and two other outfielders gasping for air, there’s no risk for him getting sent down to St. Pete by Thursday…

Next week, Knights and Indians. After that looms the first meeting with the damn Elks. Remember that series from last year? – Me neither.

(lifts bottle of Capt’n Coma back to his fuzzy lips)

Fun Fact: The top 3 in doubles in the CL are Cosmo Trevino, tied for first with the Thunder’s Carlos Vega with 8 apiece, and … Jeff Kilmer.

Jeff Kilmer has seven doubles this season after hitting all of eight doubles in 2040. In turn he has zero home runs compared to 16 last year. I am sure it is temporary.

…like the bullpen plague that is somehow in its fourth year.

[Clemente21PIT]

I love the humor involved in this narrative! It looks like Levis has been worth the money so far and could be replicating that prior season of ~40 home runs, that seems worth celebrating! Ramos seems to have come around this week, and Fernandez and your catchers are crushing it (.333 avg together) too. The rest of your outfield is definitely pulling your offense down, though I'm impressed with Ito's 9-7 walk-strikeout ratio. I like your writing style though, it makes all the characters and games come alive, so props to you!

[Westheim]

Thank you for your kind words.

Levis has yet to kill us (except defensively), and I am totally sure that somebody like Reyna won't hit .147 for $3M over two years. Totally.

Also it's only fair that when I can hear all the characters talk in my head, that you should also get your share.

[Westheim]

Raccoons (10-7) @ Knights (10-9) – April 23-25, 2041

Atlanta were the defending pennant winners in the CL, but had been rather average to start the season. While they were in second place in the South and only half a game away from the top, they were also only at a +2 run differential and fourth in runs scored and seventh in runs allowed. The Raccoons had gone down 3-6 in the season series in 2040.

Projected matchups:
Drew Johnson (1-2, 3.32 ERA) vs. Brad Santry (2-0, 1.15 ERA)
Ian Wilson (1-0, 2.79 ERA) vs. David Farris (2-1, 3.33 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (2-1, 7.17 ERA) vs. Chris Lulay (1-1, 2.70 ERA)

After a common off day on Monday, the Knights would greet us with two right-handers and a southpaw, assuming they’d skip Kurt Olson (1-2, 8.80 ERA), right-handed disaster.

Game 1
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF Fernandez – 1B Levis – C Morales – RF Ito – SS Hunter – CF Nettles – P Johnson
ATL: RF Hester – 1B J. King – CF Inoa – 2B Crim – C Horner – SS McKoy – LF Ledford – 3B Holmes – P Santry

Tony Morales improved on a .400 clip with a home run in the second inning, giving Portland a 1-0 lead. Rikuto Ito then singled, advanced on a wild pitch, and scored on Tony Hunter’s double past ex-Coon Brad Ledford to make it 2-0. Drew Johnson appeared fine in the first two innings before running into trouble in the third. He walked Ryan Holmes, and Billy Hester reached on an error by Levis, bringing up monster slugger Jamie King with runners on the corners and one down. King, though, hit a comebacker to Johnson for a force at second base, and Luis Inoa struck out to end the inning.

That little squeezer aside, Johnson handled the Knights remarkably well and did not allow another base hit to them in seven shutout innings. He struck out nine and even landed two hits, including a leadoff double, that dissipated in the infield dirt for a lack of support from the top of the order. The Raccoons completely trusted the two runs they had on the board already, then went for dinner. After Johnson exited on 101 strong pitches, Tim Zimmerman struck out two in the bottom 8th before Brent Clark took over against the left-handed top of the order, getting out Hester. Clark entered in a double switch that replaced Levis, hinting at the Raccoons thinking about having him close out the game. The Coons began the ninth with hits off Dusty Behrens off the sticks of Ito and Hunter, then made three embarrassing outs against Rico Sanchez, who Coons fans might remember… Clark was indeed in there for the bottom 9th, struck out King, then hung a pitch that was destroyed by Luis Inoa for a homer. Portland went to DeOrio *now*, getting a K against Joe Crim, before DeOrio faltered against more lefty bats. Adam Horner and Jose Garcia both walked. Andy Montes pinch-hit and slapped a single through the right side. Horner came around to score, tying the game. Holmes’ fly out to Ito sent it to extras.

Top 10th, Cosmo and Manny hit leadoff singles before Kilmer, Morales, and Ito made pathetic outs, not even getting a guy to third base. Chuck Jones then got the chance to show that he was not a wreck, pitching three scoreless innings, while the offense continued to do NOTHING. Nick Lando hit for Jones to begin the 13th and zinged a double to right-center, which was surely going to aid the Coons in ending this game on a high note. Two ****** groundouts and a walk to Tony Hunter later, Lando was still on second base. The Raccoons sent Bill Balaski to bat in place of Nettles, and the bold choice to axe an .059 hitter with an 0-for-5 day for literally any other left-handed batter against southpaw Vinny Ramirez rewarded Portland with an RBI single near the rightfield line. The Raccoons were out of left-handers, but still had to bring in a pitcher against three lefty bats after Matt Kilgallen’s easy final out to Montes in left. Juan Zabala got the ball. Ken Gibbs grounded out. Jamie King struck out. Luis Inoa was drilled with a breaking pitch. Good stuff. Manny Fernandez rushed to snatch Joe Crim’s liner to end the game before Tuesday had a chance to turn to Wednesday. 3-2 Blighters. Lando (PH) 1-1, 2B; Morales 2-5, BB, HR, 2B, RBI; Ito 2-4, 2 BB; Hunter 2-5, BB, 2B, RBI; Johnson 7.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 9 K and 2-3, 2B; Jones 3.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 3 K, W (2-0);

Game 2
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF Fernandez – 1B Levis – C Morales – CF Ito – SS Hunter – RF Balaski – P Wilson
ATL: CF Inoa – 1B J. King – 2B Crim – SS McKoy – C Horner – LF Montes – RF Hester – 3B Holmes – P Olson

Meanwhile, here was Olson, after all. He tried to put the leadoff man aboard in every inning, but the Raccoons also tried to be as careless as could be. Berto in the first and Morales in the second were stranded after reaching base, but Berto was on again to begin the third inning, stole second with his rotund body plunging into the bag, kicking up volumes of dust and blinding Tyler McKoy so that he couldn’t handle the throw from Horner cleanly. Safe was the call, and after a groundout Berto scored on Manny Fernandez’ sac fly for the first run of the game. Morales drew a leadoff walk in the fourth, then was stranded again. It wasn’t until the fifth that Olson retired a leadoff batter, then again Berto, but Cosmo got on, stole second, and was singled in by Doug Levis with two outs, 2-0. Wilson meanwhile relied on his defense in shutting out the Knights so far, allowing one hit against three walks and looked like any light breeze might blow him over yet. Ryan Holmes’ leadoff single in the bottom 5th might do the trick, except that Olson bunted poorly and got Holmes forced out at second base. Inoa and King then made weak outs, completing five.

Tony Hunter legged out an infield single and stole second with two outs in the sixth. Atlanta walked Balaski with intent (not for the first time, either), but Johnson’s looper over Holmes landed for an RBI single, 3-0, and knocked out Olson. Berto landed another RBI single off Bill Nichol, then the inning ended with Cosmo’s groundout. Wilson completed seven shutout innings on a 2-hitter (were had we seen that before?) despite walking five Knights. The ball then went to Lindstrom, who retired nobody, got bombed for two runs by Jamie King, and surrendered another run on a Crim double and McKoy single, leaving in a 4-3 game with nobody out and the tying run on first. Zachary Krumholz’ pinch-hit single and another single by Holmes tied the game with two outs, and then PH Jose Garcia rammed a ball off the wall for a 2-run double that gave the Knights the lead. Top 9th, Rico Sanchez did his thing, meaning he created a mess. The bags were full with two outs and Tony Hunter batting, who placed an infield roller where none of the black-capped goons could play it, and everybody moved up 90 feet as a run scored. Balaski slashed a single to left to tie the score, but Jeff Kilmer flew out to Billy Hester to end the inning… But fear not – no extensive overtime required this time. Tim Zimmerman cleverly walked leadoff man Jamie King in the bottom 9th, then gave up a walkoff blow to Adam Horner… 8-6 Knights. Ramos 2-4, BB, RBI; Fernandez 2-4, 2B, RBI; Morales 2-3, 2 BB; Hunter 2-4, BB, RBI; Wilson 7.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 5 BB, 3 K and 1-3, RBI;

(stands at an antique payphone near the train station) Yes, Maud, hello? – Yes, listen. When we return home, I want you to have a giant ******* barrel ready. – Yes, filled to the brim with water. – I have an entire ******* bullpen to drown like ******* farm kittens.

Game 3
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF Fernandez – 1B Levis – C Kilmer – RF Balaski – SS Hunter – CF Reyna – P Chavez
ATL: SS McKoy – 1B J. King – CF Inoa – 2B Crim – C Horner – LF Montes – RF Ledford – 3B B. Cruz – P Farris

Cosmo’s first-inning homer gave Portland the lead, but Bernie Chavez got rid of it before even logging an out, conceding a single to McKoy, a wild pitch, and another single to King – bam, tied game. Crim walked, Montes slapped another RBI single, and Atlanta was even ahead by the time Ledford struck out.

Top 3rd, Berto and Cosmo reached base to begin the inning, then advanced to scoring position on Fernandez’ grounder to first. There they remained, Levis striking out and Kilmer flew out to center. That was largely it for the Raccoons in the first five, while Bernie Chavez was a mess, and through five innings walked four and gave up another two runs on a pair of doubles in the bottom 5th, ending up 4-1 behind. In the sixth, Kilmer and Balaski went to the corners with two outs, then were left there when Farris K’ed Tony Hunter. The score remained 4-1 into the ninth, where Dusty Behrens gave up singles with one out to the Tony Brigade, Hunter and Morales, in the 7-8 spots. Rikuto Ito batted for Alex Ramirez, struck out, and Berto hit a grounder to Joe Crim that ended the game… 4-1 Knights. Morales (PH) 1-1; Kilgallen (PH) 1-1;

Raccoons (11-9) vs. Indians (9-11) – April 26-28, 2041

While I was trying to get rid of players, but Zabala and Zimmerman both mightily resisted getting drowned in the barrel, the Indians added RF/CF Alex Sanderfer (.139, 2 HR, 9 RBI) in a trade for two AAA players on Friday morning. Sanderfer had been with the Buffos. Whether that .139 batter could help out the Indians was up in the air; they were somehow fifth in both runs scored and runs allowed now and didn’t look like punching bags at all. The season series was however in the Coons’ favor at 2-0 and a rainout.

Projected matchups:
Nelson Moreno (2-2, 3.55 ERA) vs. Manuel Herrera (0-0, 4.50 ERA)
Josh Brown (1-0, 3.52 ERA) vs. Chris Haskell (0-3, 4.29 ERA)
Drew Johnson (1-2, 2.42 ERA) vs. Ayden Cobb (1-1, 6.26 ERA)

That rotation, though… they had another 6+ ERA guy in Alex Flores, and all of their starters were right-handed.

Game 1
IND: 2B E. Vargas – 3B Hutson – CF D. Rivera – C Mordino – 1B Dodson – RF Sanderfer – LF D. Gonzales – SS D. Serrato – P M. Herrera
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF Fernandez – 1B Levis – C Morales – CF Ito – SS Hunter – RF Balaski – P Moreno

The Raccoons had three on and nobody out, their usual doom constellation, in the bottom 2nd after Levis singled, Morales reached on Enrique Vargas’ error, and Ito walked. Hunter lined out to Vargas, and only Balaski got a run on the board with a sac fly. Moreno struck out, then allowed a leadoff single to Herrera in the third. While nothing came out of that situation, it was only the beginning of the end for Moreno’s outing here. In the fourth, the Arrowheads clipped him for four straight singles to begin the inning by Sal Mordino, Pat Dodson, Sanderfer, and David Gonzales, tying the score, while Dave Serrato popped out. Moreno then walked the opposing pitcher to force in the go-ahead run before Vargas’ fly to left became an inning-ending, 7-2 double play with Sanderfer killed at home on a perfect throw by Manny Fernandez. Bill Balaski gave the Raccoons another lead with a 2-run homer in the bottom of the inning, plating Hunter, but Moreno was out of whack and the bases were loaded again in the fifth with singles by Dan Hutson, Mordino, and Dodson, and one down. Sanderfer ran the count to 3-1 before poking, then hit into a 5-4-3 double play, which was exactly the kind of thing any team wanted from a newly added position player…

Through five, the score was 4-2, with Berto’s leadoff double, Cosmo’s grounder, and a wild pitch getting him around to score in the bottom 5th. The Indians were however out-hitting the Critters, 8-4, and came closer with David Gonzales’ leadoff jack in the sixth, inching in to 4-3. With Hunter and Balaski on base and no outs, Moreno didn’t get the bunt down, but the runners pulled off a double steal. Nels then poked a 2-2 pitch up the middle where it eluded Vargas and Serrato for an RBI single, 5-3. A Serrato error on Berto’s grounder cost probably two outs, but didn’t give the Raccoons any more runs in the end aside from Balaski’s, who would have scored even on a double play, as the next three batters made poor outs against Orlando Altreche.

Moreno was yanked in the seventh after nailing Hutson and giving up a double to Sal Mordino. Hutson was thrown out at home by Manny “Murder Arm” Fernandez, his second victim of the game, which technically gave Moreno 6.2 innings, but, eh, come on. Alex Ramirez, the fool, then came in, nicked Dodson, and gave up a 2-run triple to Sanderfer anyway… Gonzales struck out, with the tying run 90 feet away. The Coons scratched out another run in the bottom 7th on hits by the Tony Brigade, but Zabala gave that back with a leadoff double by Serrato (who hurt himself and was replaced by Danny Valenzuela) and the associated carnage. Damon DeOrio struck out three in the ninth, however, and everything was … – oh, no, wait. Danny Rivera singled and Dodson hit an RBI triple.

Tied ballgame, with me not being any less pissed with DeOrio than he was with the displeased fans. The game trundled on into extras, where DeOrio was made pitch the 10th even though he thought that was beneath him. Me poking against the acrylic glass window with the blunderbuss pointed at him probably did a lot of convincing! Bottom 10th, Kilmer and Lando hit 1-out singles, one as pinch-hitter, the other after Berto had been replaced for defense. Cosmo grounded out, sending them into scoring position, Manny was walked with intent, and Levis flew out to right, continuing a dismal game. There were more 1-out singles in the bottom 11th, now by Ito and Hunter. Balaski flew out to left, while Kilgallen struck out hitting for Chuck Jones. Zimmerman allowed a single to Valenzuela in the 12th, but the Arrowhead got himself caught stealing. The bottom of the inning started with Lando flying to the warning track, but into an out. Cosmo then singled and stole second base off Joe Robinson and Mordino. Manny grounded out, moving him to third base, and Levis was walked intentionally to get Robinson to face another left-handed batter. The ploy did not work – Tony Morales ended the game with a slapper to center for a walkoff single. 8-7 Raccoons. Ramos 2-5, 2B, RBI; Morales 2-6, BB, 2B, RBI; Hunter 3-5, BB, RBI; Balaski 2-5, HR, 3 RBI; Kilmer (PH) 1-1;

So the Raccoons went a 2-week road trip without a W in regulation and it looks like that’s not gonna change soon, huh?

Game 2
IND: LF D. Gonzales – 3B Hutson – C Mordino – RF Sanderfer – 1B Dodson – 2B E. Vargas – SS D. Serrato – CF D. Rivera – P Haskell
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF Fernandez – C Kilmer – RF Balaski – CF Ito – SS Hunter – 1B Kilgallen – P Brown

Indianapolis took a 2-0 lead in the second inning with a Sanderfer homer, a Dodson single and stolen base, and assorted defensive shenanigans, like Kilmer lobbing a ball away. Portland however made it up the next inning, with Hunter hitting a leadoff single, Kilgallen ripping a triple, and Brown poking a little dinker for a game-tying single. Brown struck out five Indians in the first three innings, but walked a pair in the top 4th before giving up an inevitable run on a Danny Rivera single. Portland again made up the difference quickly, this time with Balaski and Ito singles in the bottom 4th. Haskell balking Balaski to second base also helped. Tony Hunter then gave the Critters their first lead of the day with a single over Vargas’ head, bringing Ito around to score from second base, which he had reached on Danny Rivera’s prior throw to home plate that didn’t beat Balaski. Hunter stole second, then scored with two outs when Brown socked a baseball to the base of the fence in the far-left corner for a 2-out double and a 5-3 lead. The inning ended with Berto’s groundout.

Brown pitched 5.2 innings with lots of traffic. Jim Drews knocked him out with a pinch-hit RBI single in the sixth, narrowing the tally to 5-4. Lindstrom got a fly from Gonzales to Fernandez to strand a pair. Portland then stranded five runners over the next two innings, scoring one run in the meantime when … Joe Robinson threw a wild pitch to get Cosmo across in the seventh. They sure didn’t make for easy watching. (stirs a glass of Capt’n Coma, degraded motor oil, and some antidepressants with a rusty screw) Zimmerman put runners on the corners in the eighth, which Brent Clark cleaned up by getting a shot at Tony Hunter for an inning-ending double play from PH Nick O’Leary. Whatever works. DeOrio worked, for once, getting the Indians out before the sky could collapse on the ballpark again in the ninth. 6-4 Raccoons. Trevino 2-5; Hunter 2-3, BB, RBI; Levis (PH) 1-1;

Ah, what gives. (exes glass with rusty bits floating amongst the semi-dissolved antidepressants)

Game 3
IND: LF Valenzuela – 3B Hutson – CF D. Rivera – C Mordino – 1B Dodson – RF Sanderfer – 2B E. Vargas – SS D. Serrato – P A. Cobb
POR: SS Hunter – 3B Trevino – C Morales – 1B Levis – RF Balaski – LF Reyna – 2B Lando – CF Nettles – P Johnson

Another Sanderfer triple helped buried the Raccoons two deep in the second inning, plating Pat Dodson before he scored on a Vargas sac fly. Portland made up a run in the bottom 3rd on hits by Hunter, Cosmo, and … well, a throwing error. The tying run, Cosmo, was however stranded on third base by Morales and Levis. Meanwhile Johnson merrily kept leaking runners, with Valenzuela singling home Dave Serrato for another run in the fourth.

Johnson was out of gas after six innings and 101 pitches, still trailing 3-1, with Portland kept short on four hits. It only got better from here, with Zabala coming on and walking Vargas before Serrato and Gonzales hit infield singles to put three on with nobody out. Chuck Jones replaced Zabala, struck out three, and somehow the Raccoons were still alive. Alex Ramirez held out in the eighth, while the Raccoons kept poking futilely until the bottom 8th, which began with Eric Peck giving up leadoff singles to Hunter and Cosmo. With the tying runs on, Morales popped out before Nate Norris replaced Peck and walked Levis. Balaski had the bases full with one out now *and* faced a right-hander. He needed only one pitch to tie the game with a sharp single to right-center, plating Hunter and Trevino to make it 3-3. Miguel Reyna then prompty smashed into an inning-ending double play, and put the tie-breaking run on second base to begin the ninth when he dropped and kicked Edwin Alfonso’s liner to left. Good man. Only $2.7M left on that contract.

*Somehow* Brent Clark got out of that mess without a loud explosion despite a Hutson single, getting a K and two pops. That allowed for a walkoff in regulation (cough), with the bottom of the order up against Luke Moses in the ninth. Lando struck out, Nettles singled (!), and Manny Fernandez pinch-hit and sent the game to extras (…) with a 4-6-3 double play. Dan Hutson broke the tie off Lindstrom in the 11th, not that anybody was blaming Lindstrom, pitching for the fourth time in five days for this ruckus team, for giving up that homer. Better yet, Lando rescued the Raccoons from the brink of defeat with a 2-out RBI single, cashing Balaski, in the bottom of the 11th, levelling the score at four. Nettles singled, Kilmer pinch-hit and walked, and the bags were full for Tony Hunter, who ended the game with a walkoff single to right. 5-4 Critters. Hunter 3-6, RBI; Trevino 2-5; Levis 2-4, BB, 2 2B; Lando 2-4, BB, RBI; Nettles 2-4, BB;

In other news

April 22 – SFB SP Ryan Kinner (0-2, 8.40 ERA) hadn’t looked right from the start and was now going to be shut down for four months with shoulder inflammation named as the culprit.
April 22 – TOP INF/LF/RF Felix Marquez (.309, 1 HR, 6 RBI) was going to miss six weeks with a strained hamstring.
April 22 – IND C/1B Edwin Alfonso (.200, 0 HR, 1 RBI) ends the Indians’ game with the Thunder with a walkoff single in the 15th inning, giving Indianapolis a 7-6 win.
April 24 – Salem SP Jon Pereira (2-0, 1.75 ERA), imported as a type A free agent, could miss the majority of the season after tearing finger tendons.
April 24 – A broken foot would keep OCT C Rick Urfer (.195, 0 HR, 2 RBI) out of action for a month.
April 25 – The Blue Sox rush the Stars for 10 runs in the second inning for a 13-2 win.

FL Player of the Week: SAC LF/SS Jesus Banuelas (.371, 0 HR, 5 RBI), hitting .545 (12-22) with 2 RBI
CL Player of the Week: NYC 3B/1B Ramon Sifuentes (.260, 3 HR, 10 RBI), batting .480 (12-25) with 1 HR, 4 RBI

Complaints and stuff

So that was another winning week, the second in a row with three extra-inning wins. Nobody’s seen that before, I think, but I *do* see that the damn Elks are in town starting tomorrow and our bullpen is entirely dead. The problem might lie with insisting to turn every ******* 3-game set into a 35-inning dragfest.

Damon DeOrio is the second-best reliever on the team with a 5.23 ERA. I see several problems arising from this. Rest assured that our pen is the very worst in the league.

We are now half a game behind the damn Elks and first place, but they are in for four games starting on Monday and I don’t see how we beat them, especially with Wilson leading the charge. Yes, Ian Wilson has a 1.62 ERA. We all know it’s fake.

Fun Fact: Damn Elks are leading 11 of 18 batting categories on the BNN player stats page.

Mostly to blame is Jerry Outram, who is a monster, hitting .388/.469/.765. Would you believe he’s a former #1 pick?

Not included is “strikeouts” (Sal Mordino). In case you’re wondering, Raccoons lead zero categories.

[Westheim]

Raccoons (14-9) vs. Canadiens (15-9) – April 29-May 2, 2041

La-la-la-pretend would end here, because the Raccoons had been DESTROYED by the damn Elks last year (3-15, in case you drank the memory away). They were first in runs scored again, and third in runs allowed (weak!). They had a few pitching problems, with not all of their starters humming and the bullpen had an ERA over four, but if you had Jerry Outram (.388, 10 HR, 24 RBI) and Dan Schneller (.411, 5 HR, 25 RBI) in the lineup, they tended to plaster over a couple of cracks.

Projected matchups:
Ian Wilson (1-0, 1.62 ERA) vs. Matt Sealock (4-0, 2.39 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (2-2, 7.09 ERA) vs. Eric Weitz (3-1, 3.96 ERA)
Nelson Moreno (2-2, 3.94 ERA) vs. Mike Mihalik (2-1, 2.86 ERA)
Josh Brown (2-0, 3.45 ERA) vs. David Arias (1-1, 4.06 ERA)

We’d miss their sole left-hander and easiest victim, Alexander Lewis (2-2, 5.96 ERA). Regardless, there was no hope.

Game 1
VAN: RF Foss – SS Obando – CF Outram – 2B Schneller – C Clemente – 1B J. Lopez – 3B R. Ashley – LF A. Perez – P Sealock
POR: SS Hunter – 2B Trevino – LF Fernandez – C Morales – 1B Levis – RF Balaski – 3B Ramos – CF Reyna – P Wilson

It went wrong *immediately*. Guillermo Obando singled after Aaron Foss flew out to *deep* left, Wilson walked Outram, then fumbled Timóteo Clemente’s grounder that would have ended the inning before allowing singles to Johnny Lopez and Ray Ashley for a total of three runs in the first inning. All were unearned, which, fun fact, didn’t make me one bit less sad. That aside, Wilson walked everything with legs, including the bases full in the third inning. That was before coming up against Sealock, who raked a bases-clearing double. Foss’ grounder was thrown away for two bases by Cosmo, and Outram hit an RBI single. That made it only 9-0. Outram stole second base at that point, which made me topple my desk while screaming in a fit of rage, and Wilson walked Schneller before being axed. And with “axed” I mean entirely. Not even to the showers – straight on the bus to St. Pete. 21 walks in 19.1 innings. I don’t ******* care whether your ERA is in the threes.

The Raccoons’ offense did absolutely nothing, but that only as an aside. The Coons had Zabala pitch for a while, until he left with an injury in the fifth. Zimmerman replaced him and filled the bases effortlessly with two more walks and a single, but somehow the damn Elks didn’t sledgehammer him for a 4-spot. Zimmerman lasted through the seventh, which might end up saving the bullpen (mostly) yet, and might give him the “Hero of the Day” medal made out of lint scratched out of the trusty brown couch and my bitter tears.

Portland got Balaski and Berto into scoring position in the bottom 7th with a leadoff single and double, respectively. A Miguel Reyna sac fly was all the team put on the board in the end, and the damn Elks took that back immediately, whacking Damon DeOrio for three hits and a run in the top 8th, when employment of a grumpy DeOrio was a white flag to begin with. Nick Lando was then tasked with pitching the ninth inning, which was *another* white flag. Lando walked Schneller and Clemente before getting three grounders to the left side that prevented anybody from scoring. Yay. 10-1 Canadiens. Balaski 2-4; Ramos 2-3, BB, 2B; Zabala 1.2 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 2 K; Zimmerman 2.2 IP, 3 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 3 K;

(looks over to Slappy with his face all wet) Wasn’t that fun, Slappy? (wipes over googly black eyes) And only three more like that!

But before the second rape of the week, the baseball gods put some mandatory roster moves. Ian Wilson ended up on waivers and DFA’ed, replaced by right-hander Josh Rella, a 2039 fourth-rounder converted from a soft-hitting infielder. 96mph fastball, groundball tendency, so-so control. Dr. Padilla then reported that Juan Zabala was day-to-day with shoulder soreness for the rest of the series, which was bad enough, but didn’t merit a DL stint. If push came to shove, we’d have to dump a batter going forward, either Lando or Ito (who had options).

Game 2
VAN: RF Foss – SS Obando – CF Outram – 2B Schneller – C Clemente – 1B J. Lopez – 3B Sprague – LF DeVita – P Weitz
POR: SS Hunter – 2B Trevino – LF Fernandez – 1B Levis – RF Balaski – C Kilmer – 3B Ramos – CF Nettles – P Chavez

Manny Fernandez hit a 2-run homer in the bottom 1st with Cosmo on base (after forcing out Hunter, who had been nailed by Weitz), which merely erased the early deficit incurred by Bernie Chavez, who retired two, walked two, and gave up two screaming hits for a run each in the top 1st. Johnny Lopez hit an RBI double, with Clemente thrown out at home plate by Fernandez. Bernie walked Guillermo Obando and Schneller in the third inning, but somehow eluded damage there. Bottom 3rd then, and for a moment the Raccoons looked like they might take the lead with Hunter and Cosmo on base to begin the inning, but then Manny Fernandez also reached base with a single, and that gave us three runners with nobody out, meaning it was all doomed and forsaken. Doug Levis spanked into a run-scoring double play alright, and Balaski popped out.

Bottom 4th, Kilmer and Berto reached the corners with nobody out. Nettles popped out, remaining utterly useless, but Bernie slapped a 2-1 pitch through the left side for an RBI single. Hunter hit a soft single to load the bags before Weitz unloaded them with a comically bad wild pitch that brought Berto across, 5-2. Then he reloaded the bases, walking Cosmo, but Manny popped out and Levis struck out, and things remained meh.

Things got uglier from there, with Bernie tumbling through five innings in total disarray, shedding another run in the fifth, before being struck in the leg by a Weitz fastball. That loaded the bags with two outs, and a pinch-runner, because Bernie couldn’t walk anymore. Reyna pinch-ran for him, while Tony Hunter killed Weitz with a 2-run single to center, 7-3. The runners embarked on a double steal against new pitcher Paul Medvec, Clemente threw the ball away, and Reyna scored. Cosmo flew out to leave Hunter on third base, which made for an 8-3 tally through five innings. I didn’t really trust the smell of that roast, since we still had to piece 12 outs together with a debutee and four guys with abysmal ERA’s. Lindstrom was the first guy out, walked Medvec (!) in the top 6th, but was otherwise left alone. He got one out in the seventh, the remainder of which Chuck Jones pitched at the cost of a 2-out walk to Schneller. After that it was debut time for Josh Rella, facing the bottom-ish part of the order in the eighth inning. He nailed Glenn Sprague, walked Marc DeVita, all with one out, then got a double play grounder from Matt Dear. We’d chalk it up as success. Better not to ask silly questions. Ramirez then put the game away in the ninth. 8-3 Coons. Hunter 2-3, BB, 2 RBI; Fernandez 2-5, HR, 2 RBI; Ramos 2-4;

The good, sorta, news is that Bernie Chavez will have a welt on the leg for a couple of days, but should be ready to pitch on Sunday. Everybody’s looking forward to that! His ERA even dropped under seven again!

(Never mind that there’s no starter for Saturday on the roster right now)

Game 3
VAN: RF Foss – SS Obando – CF Outram – 2B Schneller – C Clemente – 1B J. Lopez – 3B Sprague – LF DeVita – P Mihalik
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – C Morales – RF Balaski – 1B Kilgallen – 2B Lando – CF Nettles – P Moreno

For a change, Portland scored first, Tony Morales doubling in Manny and his 2-out walk in the bottom 1st. Balaski also walked, but Kilgallen whiffed. That score flipped before long, with Sprague (single) and DeVita (RBI double) tying the score to begin the top 3rd before Nels clumsily walked the bags full and threw a wild pitch to get DeVita across. Getting Outram to pop out in a fat spot was a rather bitter victory at that point. Bottom 3rd, an Obando error put Hunter aboard with one gone, and Manny and Morales filled the bases quickly after that, promoting Balaski to the box in the fat spot. He hit a sac fly to left to tie the game in a 3-1 count (…), after which the inning ended with Kilgallen lining out *hard* to Sprague, who took a tumble and required replacement on grounds of injury, but held on to the 2-2 tie there.

Ray Ashley took over at the hot corner, but would miss Berto’s sharp 2-out zinger in the fourth that became an RBI single, plating Nettles for a 3-2 lead. Moreno held up through six despite a leadoff walk to Outram, which was resolved with Schneller’s double play grounder. With Kilgallen on third, two outs, and himself on 94 pitches, Moreno was then hit for in the bottom 6th. Cosmo flew out to Aaron Foss, while Alex Ramirez barfed away the lead with three singles whacked off him in the seventh. Dear pinch-hit and drove in Lopez to get us all even at three. I sighed and, with my bottle of Capt’n Coma empty, tried to wrestle Slappy’s bottle away from him. That was only the prelude to the eighth inning, though, with Brent Clark giving up a leadoff single to Outram before being replaced with Rella. Rella conceded a single to Schneller, threw a passed ball, and walked Clemente, three on and no outs. Lopez hit into a run-scoring double play, which meant the game could still go either way, except that Rella and Tim Zimmerman then took the degenerated way to decide a game and allowed another four base runners, concluding with a homer by Roy Pincus off Zimmerman to escalate the inning into a 6-spot. Johnny Lopez hit 2-piece off Zimmerman in the ninth, wiping away even the token resistance offered by Morales’ solo homer in the bottom 8th. Jeff Kilmer hit a home run off Jordan Calderon in the bottom 9th. Nobody really cared anymore. 11-5 Canadiens. Kilmer (PH) 1-1, HR, RBI; Morales 2-4, BB, HR, 2B, 2 RBI; Kilgallen 2-4; Nettles 2-4;

Josh Rella (21.60 ERA) was returned to St. Pete after this to get a starter up. Angelo Montano is back, everybody! Yaay.

Game 4
VAN: LF Foss – SS Obando – CF Outram – 2B Schneller – C Clemente – 1B J. Lopez – 3B R. Ashley – RF V. Vazquez – P D. Arias
POR: SS Hunter – 3B Trevino – LF Fernandez – C Morales – 1B Levis – RF Balaski – 2B Lando – CF Ito – P Brown

Hope for basic decency and a series split got its first damper in the opening frame when Cosmo collided with Ray Ashley at third base left the game with upper body pains. Kilgallen replaced him at third base with Berto pencilled in for an off day. However, Josh Brown did not allow a hit or a run the first time through and looked fairly decent overall, then opened the bottom 3rd with a floater over Schneller that fell for a single. Schneller then also stepped into the way of Victor Vazquez trying to make the play, with the error moving Brown to second base, from where Tony Hunter plated him with a double for the first marker on the board. Additional runs scored on Manny’s RBI double and Morales’ RBI single, while Doug Levis narrowly missed the fence in left and was instead retired by Foss. Balaski singled, but Lando’s liner to left was snagged by Foss, keeping it 3-0.

Outram broke up the not-yet-mature no-hit bid with a 1-out single in the fourth, but was doubled up by Schneller again. Clemente hit a leadoff single in the next inning, but found no support at the bottom of the order. Brown held up with a 2-hitter through six innings, during which he struck out five, but after Doug Levis hit a solo shot in the bottom 6th, Brown hung one to Schneller in the seventh for a home run, edging the score to 4-1. Clemente then hit a single, but was also picked off by Brown. Levis added another run in the bottom of the seventh with two out, singling off lefty John Roeder to score Manny (double), with Morales (walk) moving to second base. Kilmer hit for an unretired Balaski against the southpaw, and filled the bases when Ashley fumbled his high bouncer for the second Elks error in the game. Lando then popped out to strand a full set. Brown struck out Ashley and Vazquez to begin the eighth, but both counts ran long and he ended up on 103 pitches and with his velocity dropping off. Berto and Chuck Jones entered in a double switch that replaced Levis and moved Kilgallen to first base. Jones struck out Ramon Cabral to conclude eight, then still came to bat in the bottom 8th with the bases loaded and two outs. Looking at the top of the order that would bat for the damn Elks in the ninth and a 5-run lead on the board (Roeder had plated a run with a wild pitch) the Raccoons let Jones grab a stick and pop out. He then got two outs in the ninth before walking Outram and Schneller. DeOrio replaced Jones, gave up a 3-run homer to Clemente that made me almost snap, and struck out Lopez before I could stuff duckshot into the blunderbuss. 6-4 Raccoons. Fernandez 2-5, 2 2B, RBI; Levis 2-4, HR, 2 RBI; Balaski 3-3, 2B; Ramos 1-1; Brown 7.2 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 7 K, W (3-0) and 1-3;

Cosmo was diagnosed with a strained rib cage muscle and would miss most of the month of May. He was put on the DL after the game. Jay de Wit was brought up from AAA. Aruba’s Finest was hitting nothing in AAA, but maybe he could be a backup for … Nick Lando…?

This roster is falling apart fast!

Raccoons (16-11) @ Gold Sox (12-16) – May 3-5, 2041

The Gold Sox had become a rare sight on the calendar, having been a Raccoons opponent only twice in the 2030s. The Raccoons had won both those series, taking two of three games each time, most recently in 2039. The Sox had lost four in a row as we came in and had the fewest runs scored in the Federal League with just 3.7 markers per game. On the other hand, they were the second-hardest team to score on in the FL, allowing 3.9 runs per game. For comparison, the Raccoons were third in runs scored in the CL, but bottoms in runs allowed with a completely ravaged pitching staff that might yet go out and rejuvenate the Denver offense.

Projected matchups:
Drew Johnson (1-2, 2.81 ERA) vs. Antonio Vega (1-3, 3.69 ERA)
Angelo Montano (0-0, 2.25 ERA) vs. Steve Fidler (2-2, 4.04 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (3-2, 6.82 ERA) vs. Ignacio del Rio (3-2, 2.28 ERA)

All right-handers, with another skip of the sole southpaw available on staff, the vicious “Sauerkraut” Becker (2-3, 3.60 ERA). But we’d get ex-Coons Fidler (barely remembered, although he was here as recently as ’39) and, more significantly, del Rio against Bernie on Sunday, which might end up in a lop-sided blowout for a neat curtain call on the idea that those two and Raffaello Sabre would one day pitch the Raccoons to a championship…

Now only Bernie was left, and there was barely anything left of Bernie.

Game 1
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – C Morales – 1B Levis – RF Balaski – 2B Lando – CF Nettles – P Johnson
DEN: 2B R. Thompson – 3B Hornig – CF Mercado – C J. Wilson – RF de Luna – 1B Carman – LF O. Mendoza – P A. Vega – SS Malfati

Ronnie Thompson and Jeremy Hornig went to the corners with a pair of singles to start the bottom 1st, and Nelson Mercado’s double play grounder put Thompson across home plate for an early run. Tony Hunter also hit into a double play for Portland in the first inning, erasing Berto to no greater effect, but the 1-2 pair both drew 1-out walks in the third inning, allowing for an RBI double to center by Manny Fernandez and a tied ballgame. Vega, who had BB/9 numbers not entirely dissimilar to what had gotten Ian Wilson axed earlier in the week (26 BB in 31.2 IP entering the game), walked Morales, too, presenting Doug Levis with a bases-loaded situation. The old warhorse popped out in a full count, but Bill Balaski came through with a 2-out, 2-run double to right, giving the Coons a 3-1 lead before Lando struck out to end the inning. Denver got a run back immediately, though, with Lopo Malfati hitting a leadoff triple into the left-center gap in the bottom 3rd and scoring on Thompson’s sac fly. Portland countered with a Nettles single, stolen base, and Berto’s RBI single, 4-2.

Drew Johnson was not in trouble in the middle innings, maintaining a 3-hit, 2-run pace through six innings. The Critters scratched out another run in the seventh, Berto doubling and scoring on a passed ball (his teammates would not have been enough to score him…) to get up to 5-2. But Johnson now also entered the twilight zone, having shown little staying power despite generally good outings so far, with exhaustion often taking over after just 90 pitches for him. He entered the bottom 7th on 77 offerings, but got Rich de Luna, Vince Carman, and Oscar Mendoza on just six pitches for three grounders, all to Lando. He also battled through the eighth despite a leadoff single by PH Ryan Cox, who was stranded on third base when Manny Fernandez caught Hornig’s soft fly on the run in shallow left, but we’d have to call it a day on him after that. Against Brad Blankenship in the ninth, the Raccoons got Hunter on with a walk. He stole second, but was left there, and DeOrio got the 3-run lead in the bottom 9th, facing the 3-4-5 batters. Mercado double, Jeff Wilson triple, Carman single – winning run in the box with one out. Mendoza struck out, bringing up PH Adrian Castillejo, a right-hander who dropped a blooper between Lando and Miguel Reyna in shallow right for a single that sent Carman to third with the tying run and promoted Lopo Malfati, a .179 hitter, into the spotlight. He flew out to Manny in uncomfortably deep left. 5-4 Coons. Ramos 3-4, BB, 2B, RBI; Johnson 8.0 IP, 4 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 4 K, W (2-2);

Can there be a lead big enough to not get potentially thrown under the speeding bus in the ninth inning with this team??

Game 2
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – C Morales – 1B Levis – RF Balaski – 2B Lando – CF Nettles – P Montano
DEN: 2B R. Thompson – RF de Luna – 3B Hornig – 1B Carman – CF B. Murphy – C Castillejo – SS Cox – P Fidler – LF Cothern

Montano had pitched four innings in relief to mild success at the start of the season, and nobody desired him back in the rotation, but here he was, while we were evaluating actual options involving other underdone prospects… He shuffled the bags full without logging an out on two walks and a hit, then allowed a 2-run single to Bob Murphy to fall behind. Carman and Castillejo both popped out, while Cox whiffed to end the inning. Travis Cothern added a solo homer in the second inning, establishing a 3-0 lead that would last the Gold Sox a while, because while the Raccoons had the odd base hit, they usually always followed that up immediately with a double play. Manny Fernandez hit another double in the fourth and was ignored by Morales and Levis.

Come the sixth, Berto hit a 1-out single, but was forced out by Hunter’s grounder to short. Manny walked, bringing up Tony Morales as the tying run, but his cozy fly to right was handled casually by Rich de Luna. Montano, after the early walloping, pitched five shutout innings that would not see him get into the W column, or our hearts, because the offense remained mostly dead against Fidler. Top 8th, Reyna pinch-hit for Montano with one out and singled. Berto legged out an infield single, bringing up Hunter as the tying run. Fidler threw a wild pitch to advance the runners and take away the double play, THEN got a comebacker from Hunter on the next pitch that froze the runners and would have ended the inning without the wild pitch. As it was, Manny came up with two outs and slapped a single to left-center that plated two and brought up Morales as the go-ahead run, the first time a Raccoon appeared in the box as such since the opening frame. He flew out to Murphy… The bottom 8th was scoreless for Denver against Juan Zabala, after which Carlos Semchez got the ball against the 5-6-7 batters. He was a right-hander with a 1.74 ERA so I packed my stuff to beat congestion on the elevators for the team bus, but then Levis hit a leadoff single and reached third base on a passed ball and a groundout. Lando then bounced out to Hornig on the first pitch, keeping the tardy runner Levis pinned. Kilmer batted for Zabala, shoved a ball through the left side in a full count, and the Raccoons, for the moment, had staved off defeat! Reyna, already in the #9 spot, grounded out, though. The game ended quickly, though. Ryan Cox socked a leadoff triple off the wall against Brent Clark in the bottom 9th, and Nelson Mercado ended the game with a sac fly… 4-3 Gold Sox. Ramos 2-4; Fernandez 3-3, BB, 2B, 2 RBI; Kilmer (PH) 1-1, RBI; Reyna (PH) 1-2;

(has blood running in a thin stream from a corner of his snout while he’s trapped in a throng of braying Gold Sox fans at the elevators)

Game 3
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – C Kilmer – 1B Levis – RF Balaski – 2B Kilgallen – CF Reyna – P Chavez
DEN: 3B Hornig – 2B Cothern – CF Mercado – C J. Wilson – RF de Luna – 1B Carman – LF O. Mendoza – P del Rio – SS Malfati

I wasn’t looking forward to this rubber game, and even though the Coons scored first (on an uncaught third strike in the top 1st, wickedly) by means of a sort-of Ramos Special (those were getting rare, huh?), the Gold Sox had yet to unveil the hammers against Bernie Chavez and his ERA in the sixes and threatening to reach the sevens again. Bernie made an error that put Wilson on board, but that was wiped off on de Luna’s double play, then allowed a single to Carman in the bottom 2nd, but Mendoza grounded out and that was all the traffic the Gold Sox put up in the early innings, but the same was true for Portland. Levis walked with one gone in the fourth, then was doubled up by Balaski. Cothern singled to open the bottom of the inning, then was doubled up by Wilson. Things for sure remained tied.

Bernie bunted his way into a full count with Miguel Reyna on first and one down in the top 5th. With the count at 3-2, the Coons took off the bunt sign, with Bernie responding with a slash single into shallow right-center that sent Reyna to third base. Berto dropped a dying quail into shallow center for an RBI single, 2-0. A Hunter single loaded the bases. Manny hit a single to right-center, plating Bernie for a 3-0 edge. Kilmer whiffed, Levis grounded out to Malfati to end the inning after that. How had running the bases for an extended period of time messed with Bernie’s heretofore solid performance? Manny Fernandez loudly caromed off the wall in leftfield in catching a de Luna drive to begin the bottom 5th to give a partial answer to that question, but he was fine and the Sox didn’t reach base in the inning, so that was that. The Sox DID score in the sixth, but that was on a throwing error by Kilgallen, who threw away Nelson Mercado’s 2-out grounder to allow Malfati (leadoff walk…) to get across home plate. Bernie then hung around to give up four straight singles that begged belief, all dropping between an infielder and an outfielder before leaving beaten and broken, down 4-3 with two aboard. Lindstrom got the last out of the inning.

While I was grinding my teeth through my jaws that del Rio would now win the ******* game, the Raccoons got Hunter on base with two outs in the seventh. At least Manny was always good for a surprise – and he hit a home run to right, flipping the score back in the Coons’ favor, 5-4! The Raccoons then failed to capitalize on Balaski and Kilgallen reaching base on an error and a single, respectively, in the eighth with nobody outs, making three poor outs in a row to strand them in scoring position. While Jeff Wilson tapped Alex Ramirez – the only Coons reliever with an ERA suggesting vague competence – with a leadoff single in the bottom of the inning, de Luna would hit into a double play to get us through eight. Tony Hunter then drew a leadoff walk from Terry Garrigan, stole a base, and scored on a Kilmer sac fly in the ninth for an insurance run, which would probably be needed with DeOrio getting up for the ninth. He looked grumpy as he came out of the pen, then walked .140 hitter Oscar Mendoza in a full count. PH Bob Murphy was blown away on strikes, while Malfati sailed out to Reyna in rightfield (Balaski had been dropped for defense, with Nettles in center). Another full count yielded another walk to Jeremy Hornig, and then inevitably an RBI single by Cox. That used up the insurance run and brought up Castillejo in the #3 spot. We could throw Zabala into the mess (the only right-hander left in the pen), but why pretend… Another defensive replacement had been Jay de Wit in for Berto at third base, and he saw action for the first time since being called up when Castillejo drove a bouncer at him – he handled it for the final out. 6-5 Critters. Hunter 2-2, 2 BB; Fernandez 2-5, HR, 3 RBI; Chavez 5.2 IP, 6 H, 4 R, 0 ER, 2 BB, 4 K and 1-2;

In other news

April 30 – BOS LF/CF Willie Vega (.232, 3 HR, 8 RBI) has suffered a quad strain and will miss up to six weeks.
April 30 – The Titans also get blacked out by the Indians in a 13-3 loss. IND 3B Dan Hutson (.273, 8 HR, 19 RBI) has four hits and as many RBI.
May 1 – SAC LF/SS Jesus Banuelas (.375, 0 HR, 5 RBI) has a 20-game hitting streak after a sixth-inning double in a 4-2 win over the Pacifics.
May 2 – Cincy 2B/SS Mike Gibson (.294, 0 HR, 8 RBI) will miss six weeks with a broken hand.
May 3 – Sacramento LF/SS Jesus Banuelas (.373, 0 HR, 6 RBI) has his hitting streak snapped at 21 games after a hitless appearance in a 9-8 win over the Thunder.
May 3 – Los Angeles’ SP Josh Bourgeois (2-3, 3.69 ERA) 3-hits the Indians and whiffs seven in a 5-0 shutout.
May 5 – DAL SP Alfredo Vargas (3-2, 6.41 ERA) nixes 12 Falcons in a 6-hit shutout. The Stars win 4-0.

FL Player of the Week: TOP 1B Chris Delagrange (.287, 6 HR, 25 RBI), hitting .440 (11-25) with 3 HR, 6 RBI
CL Player of the Week: TIJ OF/1B Scott Martin (.381, 3 HR, 14 RBI), swatting .533 (16-30) with 5 RBI

FL Hitter of the Month: SAC C Manichiro Toki (.449, 4 HR, 12 RBI)
CL Hitter of the Month: VAN OF Jerry Outram (.390, 10 HR, 25 RBI)
FL Pitcher of the Month: LAP SP Chris Sulkey (4-0, 0.78 ERA)
CL Pitcher of the Month: VAN SP Matt Sealock (5-0, 2.22 ERA)
FL Rookie of the Month: RIC LF/RF Pablo Gonzalez (.311, 2 HR, 9 RBI)
CL Rookie of the Month: TIJ C Juan Guerra (.419, 3 HR, 6 RBI)

Complaints and stuff

It is early May and we are plotting the demise of Damon DeOrio, who is just another kid with matches in the dynamite factory in the ninth inning. One step forward, two steps back, all the ******* time.

The good news is that DeOrio can simply be non-tendered after the season. The question is whether he will live long enough to witness it.

Our pitching and defense remain abhorrent. The rotation is *alright*. The bullpen is just getting worse. The only non-problem child appears to be Ramirez, and he probably won’t be able to pitch 250 innings this year… Let’s just say we are actively scouring the waiver wire to plug the leaks caused by last year’s waiver wire leak-plugs.

And yet, somehow, the Raccoons are just one game out in the North. It’s of course down to the offense, who keeps rallying even when I am considering making for the elevators… If only we could fix that ******* bullpen and get an actual fifth starter…

We could *try* 2039 first-rounder Corey Mathers, who hasn’t gotten a lot of press recently and is not a ranked prospect, but who holds a 2.47 ERA in St. Pete. That is however with a very generous BABIP that he won’t get up here, and while walking four per nine innings as a righty. He is only 22, much time for this to shake out – but if the Raccoons want to buy into their solid start and a flimsy chance at somehow toppling the damn Elks, they need a solution NOW and not when Mathers will have shaken himself out. He is also the only serious option in AAA. This does not include Jason Wheatley, Adam Capone, Jake White, or any other pitching prospect name-dropped regularly on bobblehead sports radio. All of them are still in AA, where they are doing *alright*. What about Jose Arias, Victor Merino, Tony Negrete? Aumsville dwellers. Arias and Negrete might move up to AA soon and Wheatley and Capone might be up to AAA before long, but they are currently not major league material.

We will start a 2-week homestand after an off day on Monday, playing a total of 13 games against the Cyclones, Titans, Crusaders, and Falcons. Looking further ahead, we do not play either the Loggers or damn Elks until June, and then have eight games with Milwaukee. The damn Elks will be our four-and-four dance partners at the All Star break.

That will be fun.

Fun Fact: Tony Hunter leads the CL with 12 stolen bases (in 15 attempts) after stealing only 18 last year.

He also got a lot more opportunity, hitting for 87 points better average, 104 points better OBP, and only 66 points better slugging (thus keeping him at first base even more often). He played in 126 games in ’40, and so far has featured in all but one this year. His personal best for stolen bases is 25 with the Gold Sox – he was traded for Steve Fidler – in 2039.

[Westheim]

Raccoons (18-12) vs. Cyclones (14-18) – May 7-9, 2041

The Cyclones had won four games in a row after a wretched start, and were right around average in the Federal League with 4.2 runs scored and 4.3 runs allowed per game. Their run differential was -6. They arrived without outfielder Melvin Hernandez, who was out with a thumb injury. We had last met them in 2039, losing two of three.

Projected matchups:
Nelson Moreno (2-2, 3.79 ERA) vs. Rafael Pedraza (1-5, 5.57 ERA)
Josh Brown (3-0, 2.97 ERA) vs. Chris Turner (3-2, 3.95 ERA)
Drew Johnson (2-2, 2.70 ERA) vs. Leborio Valdevesso (3-2, 3.24 ERA)

And here it was, the rare species seldom seen this year, a southpaw – “Tuba” Turner would likely get the start in the middle game on Wednesday, following a common off day on Monday.

Game 1
CIN: 3B J. Burgos – C R. Rodriguez – 1B Santillano – LF Lockwood – RF Ju. Brito – 2B St. Peter – CF Mathes – SS Ruelas – P Pedraza
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – C Morales – 1B Levis – RF Balaski – 2B Lando – CF Nettles – P Moreno

Both teams got the first two batters aboard in the game and scored only the first of those for an early 1-1 score. For Portland, Berto walked, Hunter singled, and two groundouts did the rest. But Moreno lacked control, and then the singles piled on top of that. He walked Ricky Rodriguez to begin the third inning after two prior laborious frames, then gave up singles to Danny Santillano, Miners murder machine of old, and Jayden Lockwood. Juan Brito – not related to Jose Brito; the Cyclones’ one actually had skill – hit into a double play, but one run was already on the board and Cody St. Peter added another one with an RBI single before Dan Mathes grounded out. Moreno struck out the side in the fourth, which included the 8-9-1 batters, and was chased by rain after five, with the Raccoons trailing 3-2 at that point, Doug Levis having made up a run with a solo homer.

Levis hit another one in thebottom 6th off Pedraza, who was not retired after the rain delay, and instead hung around to issue a single to Manny, a double to Morales, and then the 3-run souvenir to Levis. The Portland pen reacted predictably to the sudden lead, wobbling and tumbling and making awful collapsing noises. Not included: Chuck Jones and Juan Zabala, who pitched the sixth and seventh. Brent Clark in the eighth, however, remained a disaster, giving up two hits, and conceding a run in cooperation with another ludicrous throwing error by Bill Balaski, who needed glasses, urgently. Tim Zimmerman struck out Dan Rollin in the #7 hole to end the inning with the tying run in scoring position. With the Raccoons’ offense reduced to bystanding in the last few frames by the Cincy pen, including Gualter Cymbron (…), the Raccoons left Zimmerman in there for the ninth. Once he survived a Freddy Ruelas drive almost to the fence, the last two outs were almost too calm to be true… 5-4 Raccoons. Fernandez 2-4; Morales 2-4, 2B, RBI; Levis 2-4, 2 HR, 4 RBI;

Game 2
CIN: 3B Copeland – SS Ruelas – 1B Santillano – CF Lockwood – C R. Rodriguez – RF Ju. Brito – LF Mathes – 2B St. Peter – P C. Turner
POR: SS Hunter – RF Ito – LF Fernandez – C Kilmer – 1B Levis – CF Kilgallen – 2B Lando – 3B de Wit – P Brown

While Josh Brown struck out three in the first inning, there were also about as many things that went wrong, starting with a leadoff walk drawn by Sebastian Copeland. Santillano rammed a double off the fence behind Rikuto Ito, and Manny fumbled a fly by Jayden Lockwood for a run-scoring error. After the Raccoons had three runners in the bottom 1st, a double play, and no runs, the Raccoons’ Josh Brown would tie the game himself, finding Kilgallen and Aruba’s Finest, Jay de Wit, on the corners and slapping a 1-out single up the middle to get the teams even again. And then Hunter rolled into a double play…

Bottom 3rd, the bags were full with Ito, Manny, and Levis when Kilgallen rolled a ball to Copeland that looked like a 5-4-3, but the Cyclones were *just* not quick enough, Kilgallen beating out the return throw in bang-bang fashion. Ito scored, putting the team up 2-1, before Lando flew out to Brito.

Brown walked two in six innings, while Turner walked eight in five frames, and neither of them reached beyond those respective marks; it took Brown 102 pitches to get through six to begin with and he wasn’t built for more than that. Thus the 2-1 lead went to the pen, which took approximately two seconds to blow it all to hell, when Lindstrom gave up a leadoff triple to Mathes and a sac fly to St. Peter – tied ballgame! (stands in the door to Maud’s room and hits head against doorframe repeatedly) … No, Maud, it’s not fine. Nothing is fine…!

Least of all things fine was Damon DeOrio, who appeared in the ninth, gave up a leadoff single to Brito, who was run for by Jesus Burgos, who stole second, then scored on a grounder and a sac fly. That left the Raccoons trailing as they entered their half of the ninth, having to make up one run with the middle of the order against right-hander Jeff Horstmeier. Manny singled up the middle. Kilmer singled to left. Levis walked. Three on, nobody out. One to tie, two to win. Oh boy, was I anticipating the epic deflation they had to have set up here! Tony Morales batted for Kilgallen and hit a sac fly, which at least got us into 17-inning territory. Berto hit for Lando and singled, but Kilmer had to hold at third base. The bags were full again for … certainly not de Wit, who was hit for by Nettles, and Nettles ended the game with a single on the first pitch. 4-3 Coons. Fernandez 2-3, 2 BB; Kilmer 2-5; Ramos (PH) 1-1; de Wit 2-3, BB; Nettles (PH) 1-1, RBI; Brown 6.0 IP, 3 H, 1 R, 0 ER, 2 BB, 5 K and 2-3, RBI;

Well, that was a surprise. (takes properly tied noose off again)

This W got the Raccoons into a tie for first place with the Loggers (!). The damn Elks sat half a game behind.

For Thursday, the Cyclones skipped Valdevesso and instead sent fellow right-hander Ben Lipsky (2-2, 4.29 ERA).

Game 3
CIN: 3B J. Burgos – C R. Rodriguez – 1B Santillano – LF Lockwood – RF Ju. Brito – 2B St. Peter – CF Mathes – SS Ruelas – P Lipsky
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – C Morales – 1B Levis – RF Balaski – 2B Lando – CF Nettles – P Johnson

Both teams went back to their lineups from the series opener, but this time the Raccoons scored first, and put a 3-spot on the old foe Lipsky right in the first inning. Berto and Hunter reached base, but the former was thrown out on a double steal attempt. Manny then walked before runs scored on a Morales double, a groundout, and a Lando double, respectively. Nettles grounded out to St. Peter to end the inning, but that wouldn’t mean that they’d just cruise to victory.

Danny Santillano singled home a pair with two outs in the third inning. The runs were unearned, Johnson having started his stumble with his own error. The Raccoons in turn put Levis and Balaski into scoring position in the bottom of the inning and with one out, but Lando lined out to Santillano and Nettles popped out pathetically. The next two innings saw no Raccoons runners, while the Cyclones broke through in the sixth with homers by Jayden Lockwood to tie, and Cody St. Peter to take the lead, 4-3.

Johnson was already gone, replaced with Chuck Jones to get rid of Santillano with two outs and a runner on second in the top 7th, which Jones did well enough. When Carson Jarvinen walked Berto with one gone in the bottom 7th, it was Portland’s first runner since Balaski’s double in the third. Hunter singled, and Manny got hit in the bum, loading the bags for Tony Morales, who still had that OPS over 1 and… flew out to Brito. The ball was deep enough for Berto to score, leveling the game at four runs each. Levis then grounded out to Burgos. A bullpen explosion in the eighth took care of the tie, with Jones and Zimmerman piling up three hits, three walks, and three runs before Alex Ramirez got rid of Santillano with the bags stacked. Portland got from 7-4 to 7-5 in the bottom half of the inning. Nick Lando forced out Balaski, but stole second, and then scored on Reyna’s single… just before Reyna got tagged out meandering aimlessly between first and second base to end the inning… The ninth saw the Coons progress no further than a Tony Hunter walk, and instead accepting the loss. 7-5 Cyclones. Hunter 2-3, 2 BB; Balaski 1-2, 2 BB, 2B;

This pen will be the death of me, and I don’t think it’s gonna take all that much longer….

Raccoons (20-13) vs. Titans (15-18) – May 10-12, 2041

The Titans couldn’t score for their lives, sitting on 3.7 runs per game, second-worst in the CL. They were also fourth from the bottom in runs allowed, making for an ugly -35 run differential (Coons: 0 …), but they still had won two of three from us earlier this year.

Projected matchups:
Angelo Montano (0-0, 3.27 ERA) vs. Philip Wise (1-3, 8.67 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (3-2, 5.79 ERA) vs. Rich Willett (3-2, 3.10 ERA)
Nelson Moreno (2-2, 3.98 ERA) vs. Jesus Rodarte (1-5, 2.64 ERA)

Looks like the return of Southpaw Sunday in Portland, with Rodarte one of two left-handers in the Titans’ rotation, the other being Mario Gonzalez (3-2, 3.72 ERA), who pitched on Wednesday and was thus not in the mix. Rodarte was also due some good luck, so he’d probably beat Nels, 2-1.

Game 1
BOS: 2B Nieblas – 1B C. Joseph – C Guadalupe – RF M. Avila – CF Vermillion – SS Toney – LF Beard – 3B Gil – P P. Wise
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – C Morales – 1B Levis – RF Balaski – 2B Lando – CF Ito – P Montano

Portland scored two in the opening inning, getting Berto and Hunter on base again and this time even the double steal worked. Morales’ groundout and Levis’ single got a run across, each. That left only Angelo Montano to sort out. He was decent through three innings, allowing only a walk and a single, then exploded in the fourth, conceding four runs to the Titans. Chris Joseph singled, Mario Guadalupe walked, there was an RBI double smacked by the inevitable Moises Avila, and finally a 3-run homer by Kyle Beard to take all the fun away. Three more singles tacked on a run in the fifth, with Philip Wise bitterly landing the first of those three singles. Avila got the 2-out RBI. The Raccoons got soaked, and yanked Montano after the inning, but then got Ito and PH Reyna on the corners to begin the bottom 5th, bringing up Berto as the tying run after not much offense at all in the preceding three innings. Berto hit a sac fly to left, which wasn’t great, while Hunter struck out, which was certainly worse. Manny ripped an RBI double past Beard, however, but after Morales walked, Levis jammed a ball at Mike Toney to end the inning, still down 5-4.

Boston reclaimed the two runs off Zimmerman with a pinch-hit 2-run homer by Juan Rodriguez. It was the rookie’s first career homer… [More on Rodriguez below]. Zabala leaked three hits and a run in the seventh, never mind that two of the hits were of the infield variety… Both pitching and defense utterly needed shooting on this team, but Maud hid the blunderbuss yet again. Two more runs fell out of Brent Clark, one of which was unearned thanks to a Ramos throwing error, and the other was a Jimmy Wallace homer, because, you know, we weren’t suffering enough here already. DeOrio also allowed a run, angrily pitching in the ninth inning of a blowout. 11-5 Titans. Kilmer (PH) 1-1; Ito 2-3, BB; Reyna (PH) 1-1;

Second-worst offense my ***.

The Loggers and Elks were playing another on the weekend and the Loggers started with a 6-3 walkoff win powered by a Justin Nelson homer. Good for them! We’ll cheer them on once we’re ten behind, which we might yet achieve this month.

Game 2
BOS: 2B J. Rodriguez – LF Beard – 1B J. Wallace – CF Vermillion – RF M. Avila – SS Gil – C Guadalupe – 3B Nieblas – P Willett
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – 1B Levis – C Kilmer – RF Ito – CF Reyna – 2B Lando – P Chavez

Jimmy Wallace doubled home the rookie Rodriguez in the first, so immediately I was in a really good spot. (takes a handful of laxatives) Portland made up the difference, getting Hunter on and getting Hunter to steal a base, and pushing Hunter far enough that Levis’ sac fly could score him. The Raccoons then put Ito and Reyna on the corners to begin the bottom 2nd. That feat involved an infield single, a catcher that started the week in AAA for another team [More on that also below] falling asleep just as Reyna did on a hit-and-run, leading to Ito getting his first stolen base in the league in uncontested fashion, then a Wallace error. The Raccoons then popped out three times until the inning was over and the first fans had seen enough. – Safe to say, none of these two teams would get anywhere near the playoffs for the rest of our lives.

Kilmer singled home Manny in the third inning, but Antonio Gil singled home Wallace in the fourth to make the point moot. Then Bernie Chavez exploded for four runs in the sixth, again. Beard singled. Vermillion singled. Avila hit an RBI double. Gil found a 2-run single, and even after a grounder and an intentional walk to Orlando Nieblas, ******* Rich Willett lunged another RBI single to left. That ended the game, with the only answer given by the Raccoons being an Ito triple in the bottom of the same inning. Lando singled him in, but that was the last hurrah from a dying team on this Saturday. 6-3 Titans. Fernandez 2-4, 2B; Ito 2-4, 3B; Nettles (PH) 1-1; Lindstrom 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 2 K;

No-no, Maud, you don’t understand; the blunderbuss is for *me*! – Well, what *is* the right answer??

Game 3
BOS: 2B J. Rodriguez – LF Beard – 1B J. Wallace – CF Vermillion – RF M. Avila – SS Gil – C Guadalupe – 3B Nieblas – P Rodarte
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – C Kilmer – 1B Levis – RF Ito – CF Kilgallen – 2B Lando – P Moreno

The game was over as soon as it began, with Moreno whacked around for four hits, all but the infield single by Rodriguez quite loud, and three runs in the opening inning. Safe to say, the defense was no help in the undertaking, either, except where it came to the taking under of the team itself. Portland made up a pair in the bottom 1st, getting Hunter and Fernandez on before Levis and Ito whacked a pair of RBI singles, but after Kilgallen walked the bags full, Nick Lando grounded out on a 3-1 pitch to end the inning… The singling-to-death of Nelson Moreno continued anyway, with Nieblas reaching base on a ****** blooper to shallow center to begin top 2nd, and being moved around on a bunt and Rodriguez’ single. The latter was caught stealing, Beard singled, and Wallace popped out. Moreno then opened the bottom 2nd with a single, and the bags filled up with Berto and Hunter, and nobody out a.k.a. doom. Except this time doom befell the Titans due to shoddy defense. Manny grounded to short where Gil flubbed the ball and was then reduced to only one out at second base while Moreno scored, 4-3. Kilmer singled to tie the game, while a huge throwing error by Avila allowed Manny to score with the go-ahead run. Kilmer went to second, then scored on an Ito single to complete a 4-spot for a 6-4 lead. Bottom 3rd, Lando hit a leadoff double to center. He moved up on Nels’ groundout, then scored on a wild pitch. Maybe, just maybe, the Titans would gift us a W through sheer stupidity.

Or maybe Moreno would walk “Graveyard” Gill, relief pitcher by trade, on four pitches to begin the fourth, and **** up progressively more until Vermillion would whack him for a 2-out, 2-run double. That could also be true. Somehow, nobody knew how, Moreno dragged his bum *** through five absolutely horse **** innings, conceding ten hits for six runs, and still was up for the W, 7-6.

The Coons survived a Wallace double knocked off Chuck Jones in the sixth, then got Kilmer (nailed) and Levis (single) aboard in the bottom of the same inning. Seth Green struck out Ito, but Kilgallen hit a gapper for extra bases. Kilmer scored, 8-6, and Levis was sent in good hope, but thrown out to end the sixth. We got some more scratched out against Green and left-hander Eunice Suyumov in the seventh. Stephon Nettles had come on in a double switch just prior, then singled off the former, then stole second and scored when Hunter singled against the latter, 9-6. Hunter stole second, then came around on Manny’s 2-out RBI double, putting Portland into double digits before the inning fizzled out. Chuck Jones and Alex Ramirez held out for an inning and small change each, then handed the game over to DeOrio with a 4-run lead in the ninth, because anything less with that guy was a gamble. Wallace continued to be annoying and hit a single, but Vermillion spanked into a double play and the Raccoons escaped with a W… 10-6 Raccoons. Ramos 2-4, BB, 2B; Kilmer 2-2, BB, RBI; Levis 2-4, BB, RBI; Ito 2-5, 2 RBI; Nettles 1-1;

In other news

May 6 – Titans rookie SS/2B Juan Rodriguez (.143, 0 HR, 0 RBI) lands his first career base hit in his second major-league game. The single serves to break up a no-hitter, leaving Warriors SP Keith Black (5-3, 2.75 ERA) and CL Chris Henry (1-1, 2.08 ERA, 9 SV) to pitch a combined 1-hitter in a 2-0 win over the Titans.
May 7 – RIC 1B Manny Liberos (.239, 8 HR, 30 RBI) hits three home runs and drives in five in a 7-6 win over the Aces. It’s the first time a Rebels player has gone yard three times in a game since Matt Mason in 1983.
May 9 – The Knights pick up right-hander Javy Santana (2-1, 3.00 ERA, 5 SV) and a pile of cash from the Titans, with Boston receiving nothing more than AAA C Mario Guadalupe.
May 12 – The Canadiens trade reigning CL ROTY and Gold Glover OF Aaron Foss (.283, 2 HR, 16 RBI) to the Pacifics for LF/RF Justin Becker, who was in AAA for the Pacifics, and a prospect.
May 12 – SFB SP Tom Miller (0-0, 3.86 ERA) will have Tommy John surgery and miss a full year. Miller made just two starts for the big-league team this season.

FL Player of the Week: LAP INF Brian Bowman (.326, 4 HR, 26 RBI), hitting .565 (13-23) with 1 HR, 11 RBI
CL Player of the Week: ATL 1B Jamie King (.351, 5 HR, 27 RBI), batting .545 (12-22) with 1 HR, 4 RBI

Complaints and stuff

The damn Elks took the last two games of the Loggers series and thus first place in the North. I am struggling to contain my urge to barf, but the good thing is, looking at that Sunday trade, that they got brainfreeze up there and don’t know what they’re doing. The bad news is, I don’t know how their stupidity can help *our* team. (points at Angelo Montano, who hangs upside down by his underpants on the bobblehead cabinet and squeals bitterly)

We now have a negative run differential, but don’t you worry. There are signs of progress. For example, DeOrio, that angry brick head, did not allow a run in his Sunday outing! He had been booked for at least one run eight of the last nine times he was on the mound.

I know, I know, small steps.

Prospect watch, anybody? Adam Capone stopped his engagement with the AA Panthers with a 1.73 ERA and instead headed for the cutting table. He’ll have Tommy John surgery for a torn UCL and won’t be back until next April at the earliest. If at all.

Yay. Prospects.

Fun Fact: The Raccoons are the biggest frauds in the Continental League.

Leaving the Scorpions out for now, the Raccoons have by far the most positive dumb-luck ratings. We are 6-0 in extra-inning games, 11-4 in 1-run games, and +3 compared to our mathematically justifiable record, which would be 18-18, barely.

The Loggers are also not nearly scoring enough to justify being 21-15, and the damn Elks should really be 24-13, says Cristiano.

Sometimes I really don’t like Cristiano.

[Westheim]

Service announcement: since Monday night, my Internet at home is out, for the most part, except for sporadic flickers of connection. Those haven't been enough to post the finale to the 1962 Mets season I played last night... and I can't mail my files to the office, either, and I can't use a USB stick, because the PCs at work bluntly won't accept a USB stick, because security ta-tah.

Long story short, I think I'll play Coons tonight, but if you never hear any of it, it's not my fault.....

[Westheim]

I don’t know, Jesus, how did you break your pink cast? – What were you doing in the sewers?? – Why would you talk to the guy with the peg leg at the docks? – I DON’T CARE whether he wanted to sign your cast!!

Dr. Padilla, who bad is… – M-hm. – Uh-huh. – So he needs a new cast, and two more weeks on the DL? Fantastic.

No, Jesus, you’re not getting another pink one!! Over my dead body!!

Raccoons (21-15) vs. Crusaders (17-21) – May 13-16, 2041

The Crusaders were eighth in runs scored and fifth in runs allowed, so maybe it wasn’t all lost for them yet. The rotation was a fairly tough nut to crack and sat second in ERA in the CL. The pen was … well, let’s just say we weren’t the only team plagued with a kindergarten class armed with matches and petroleum. We had lost the season series in ’40, eight wins against ten losses.

Projected matchups:
Josh Brown (3-0, 2.55 ERA) vs. Ernesto Lujan (2-3, 5.62 ERA)
Drew Johnson (2-2, 2.70 ERA) vs. Todd Lush (4-4, 4.50 ERA)
Angelo Montano (0-1, 5.06 ERA) vs. Jeff Johnson (3-2, 1.72 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (3-3, 6.28 ERA) vs. Tommy Iezzi (2-4, 5.90 ERA)

There was Lush to look out for, the only southpaw on offer, and also 22-yar-old rookie Jeff Johnson, who so far was doing a pretty fine job in the majors. He had been the #6 pick in the 2039 draft.

Game 1
NYC: SS Adame – RF Melendez – 2B Briones – CF Besaw – 3B Sifuentes – C D. Phillips – 1B LeClerc – LF J. Zimmerman – P E. Lujan
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – C Morales – 1B Levis – RF Balaski – 2B Kilgallen – CF Reyna – P Brown

Bill Melendez proved to be a bit of a problem for former Crusaders hurler Josh Brown, who conceded a homer to him the first time through and a double the next pass through the lineup. The latter came with Lujan on first base, but didn’t lead to a run, with Mario Briones’ liner shagged by Berto, and Joe Besaw grounding out to Hunter. The score at that point was one-all thanks to a first-inning Ramos Special, with the Coons’ 1-2 having hit singles in the bottom 1st and Manny having grounded out to get Berto home from third base. Brown would drive in his own lead in the fourth inning, singling home Kilgallen, who had whacked a leadoff double in the inning. That made it 2-1 for Brown, who was 2-for-2 at the plate in this game and .421 for the season. But he struggled with getting the Crusaders out, striking out only one batter in the first four innings, even when he got to two strikes. He did get Alex Adame to whiff in a critical spot in the fifth though, with Jason Zimmerman in scoring position and one out.

Bill Balaski hit a 2-out, 2-run single, plating Hunter and Morales in the fifth inning to extend the lead to 4-1. Berto hit a double in the sixth, Zimmerman ripped a double in the seventh, but neither action led to a run. Brown spent 101 pitches to cover seven innings and was thus out of the game again, with the 3-run edge being handed to the bullpen for caretaking. Tim Zimmerman managed to get through the inning for nothing more than a Melendez single, which I was almost willing to chalk up as a W, but Slappy reminded me that they’d come to bat again and probably against DeOrio, he said, grinning. The Coons faced their former reliever John Hennessy, a lefty, in the bottom 8th, and Nick Lando pinch-hit for Balaski, singled, stole second, and they walked Kilgallen with intent before Ito hit for Reyna. Maybe DeOrio wouldn’t bat after all, I proclaimed and thus dared fate and Slappy at the same time, also grinning. Ito promptly barfed into a double play and Kilmer flew out to leave Lando at third base. And here was DeOrio…! …and somehow the Crusaders expired on two pops and a K. 4-1 Raccoons. Ramos 2-4, 2B; Hunter 2-3, BB; Lando (PH) 1-1; Brown 7.0 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 3 K, W (4-0) and 2-3, RBI;

Game 2
NYC: SS Adame – C Alba – 2B Briones – CF Besaw – LF Salek – 3B Sifuentes – 1B LeClerc – RF Melendez – P Lush
POR: SS Hunter – CF Kilgallen – C Kilmer – 1B Levis – LF Ito – 2B Lando – RF Reyna – 3B de Wit – P D. Johnson

The Crusaders took another early lead with a 2-run homer hit by Joe Besaw in the first inning. It sailed well over the head of Rikuto Ito, stationed in leftfield on Manny Fernandez getting a rare day off in this long string of games. The Raccoons tied the game an inning later, with Lando and Reyna reaching scoring position on a single and a double, respectively, before a terribe dinker by Aruba’s Finest, Jay de Wit, scored both of them. I hear a National Holiday was declared on the island immediately.

And that was about all the offense through five innings. Johnson allowed only three hits to the Crusaders in five, while the Raccoons got five off Lush. While the Crusaders’ Briones and Besaw hit long flies off Johnson in the sixth, they didn’t actually reach base. Kilmer however rocked a leadoff double into the leftfield corner in the bottom of the sixth. He advanced on Levis' groundout, after which the Crusaders walked Ito intentionally, which made little sense. Lando clubbed a sac fly to right-center to give the Raccoons the lead, but they wouldn’t get beyond 3-2. Ramon Sifuentes doubled off Johnson in the seventh … then was caught stealing third base by Kilmer.

The Coons kept Johnson in the game for eight innings without further accidents or even base runners, but then he had also reached the end of his useful life for the day. Despite the casual softness with which DeOrio had handled the Crusaders on Monday, he had also pitched on Sunday and the Raccoons were not key on getting him involved three days in a row when he had just stopped routinely exploding. The ball thus went to Alex Ramirez, most reliable reliever on staff, who gave up a leadoff double to Fernando Alba, a single to Briones, and a sac fly to Besaw to get rid of the pesky lead. Ramirez was yanked, with Brent Clark getting the last two outs of the inning. Right-hander Mike Gutierrez retired Reyna to begin the bottom 9th, but then de Wit’s slow roller was thrown away by Sifuentes, and the Raccoons had the winning run in scoring position with one down. Manny Fernandez was awoken from his roast beef-induced slumber, but wasn’t pitched to. He was then forced out on Hunter’s grounder and went back to bed, while the game went to extras where nothing really happened for an inning and a half, and almost two. With nobody on in the bottom 11th, Jay de Wit plonked a bouncer through the hole between Briones and Justin LeClerc for a 2-out single. The pitcher Lindstrom was next and replaced with Tony Morales, who singled as well. Tony Hunter zinged a single to center then; de Wit circled around third base and raced for home, Besaw’s throw came late, and Jay de Wit slashed across home plate to make the Raccoons winners …! 4-3 Coons. Kilmer 2-4, BB, 2 2B; de Wit 2-5, 2 RBI; Morales (PH) 1-1; Johnson 8.0 IP, 4 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 1 BB, 6 K; Lindstrom 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 2 K, W (3-1);

I hear people danced in the streets all night in Oranjestad. What a joy to –

Oh, hi, Nick. What brings our owner in here to take all our joy away?

Apparently Nick Valdes was furious that the Raccoons were merely tied with the Loggers at this point. The Loggers! … He glared at me when I pointed out that we were indeed tied with the Loggers… for first place. (The damn Elks were part of the tie, too)

Game 3
NYC: SS Adame – RF Melendez – 2B Briones – CF Besaw – 3B Sifuentes – C D. Phillips – 1B LeClerc – LF J. Zimmerman – P J. Johnson
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Kilgallen – LF Fernandez – C Morales – 1B Levis – RF Balaski – 2B Lando – CF Nettles – P Montano

Fittingly, our dear owner had just snowed in for our worst starter to take the mound, and the poor lefty sod faced a lineup entirely made out of righty hitters. A win would be about equal to a miracle. Or maybe the Raccoons could score a dozen!

Montano nailed Besaw to begin the second inning, then walked Devin Phillips and gave up a run on Zimmerman’s single. It looked like a pretty normal day for him, except that this hadn’t happened in the first already. Nick Valdes was not amused and not even one of Maud’s lemon cupcakes could soften his anger. Or maybe some offense would help! But while the Crusaders tacked on a run when Sifuentes doubled in the fourth, was balked to third base, and scored on Phillips’ groundout, the Raccoons drew nothing but blanks against the rookie Johnson, who gave up only two hits through five innings and whiffed four. – I don’t know, Nick. What did you expect to see? – No, can’t remember. I hear the damn Elks score many runs. – Please, Nick. No foul language at this table! Cristiano looks like he’s not 18 yet.

The sixth inning saw the Crusaders jump out to 4-0 with a Briones single, a Besaw triple, and Sifuentes sac fly. Valdes made vague unhappy noises, including that next time he would indeed sell the team to the travelling Arab salesmen, but that didn’t change either that a deep fly to left by Manny in the bottom of the same inning was the best scoring chance for the team yet in this game. The Raccoons saw out Montano’s act through seven innings, then went to Zabala, who had nothing worse happening to him than being charged an error on a terrible pickoff attempt, but did not yield runs. Neither did Johnson, who to Valdes’ great and vocal dismay entered the bottom 9th on a 5-hit shutout, but was removed after Doug Levis battled him extensively in a full count before striking out. Mike Gutierrez took over, and immediately gave up a double to Bill Balaski. Hunter hit for Lando and whacked an RBI double, prompting a move to Livingston. Nettles grounded out. De Wit, with two down, hit for Zabala and poked an RBI single, probably causing more ecstasy in Aruba. Berto, however, got rung up to end the game. 4-2 Crusaders. Kilgallen 2-4; Balaski 2-4, 2B; Hunter (PH) 1-1, 2B, RBI; de Wit (PH) 1-1, RBI; Zabala 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 1 K;

Yes, Nick, we lost. – Worse than the Loggers, yes. – Terrible, I agree. – Don’t you have a flight to catch to spread corporate mischief in some underdeveloped backwoods nation? – Yes, I agree, the people of Absurdistan will be greatful for the soul mills you’re building there. – No, no, I don’t think that the inspection trip for the toxic waste plant can wait. – Oh you know, we will get along just fine, just barely. You know, you win some, you lose some. – Yes, Nick, cut down on the losing. – Goodbye, Nick.

Nick, the door is over there.

Game 4
NYC: SS Adame – C Alba – 2B Briones – LF Salek – 3B Sifuentes – 1B LeClerc – CF Ugolino – RF Melendez – P Iezzi
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – C Morales – 1B Levis – RF Balaski – 2B Lando – CF Nettles – P Montano

Two struggling right-handers were up on Thursday for the series finale, with Alex Adame’s leadoff triple leading to a quick Crusaders run that the Coons nevertheless picked up on a Berto double and Hunter’s RBI single. Hunter reached second on the throw, but after Manny walked the Raccoons had Morales fly out and Levis hit into a double play. When Bernie Chavez walked two and allowed a run on an Iezzi single in the top 2nd, and thus got closer to become a starving right-hander rather than just a struggling one, the Raccoons answered with another double-single-run combo in the bottom of that inning, with Lando and Nettles doing the deed.

After that, things got lopsided. LeClerc whacked a 2-run homer in the third, and Alba hit a leadoff double and was scored by Sifuentes in the fifth to move the Crusaders out to a 5-2 lead. Iezzi held up for a while until Tony Morales ripped a leadoff double in the sixth, being scored on two productive outs to get back to 5-3. What was technically bloop-and-blast distance was too much to cope with for the Raccoons, though, even when the bullpen held up. They didn’t get anybody on base in the seventh or eighth innings and entered the ninth still down by two runs against Hennessy. Balaski grounded out, but Lando walked, bringing the tying run to the plate. In an obvious move, Kilmer batted for Nettles, but struck out. Kilgallen then hit for the pitcher, legged out an infield single, and kept the charade going for Berto who ran a 3-1 count until he got a juicy one and dished it … in his case for an RBI single. At least that got the currently hottest Furball to the plate in Tony Hunter. He grounded out to short on the first pitch. 5-4 Crusaders. Ramos 2-4, BB, 2B, RBI; Hunter 2-5, RBI; Morales 2-4, 2 2B; Kilgallen (PH) 1-1;

Raccoons (23-17) vs. Falcons (22-18) – May 17-19, 2041

The Falcons led the CL South and were up for dinner as this homestand concluded. Scoring runs was not their forte, with only 3.6 markers per game to their credit. However, they made sure the other team also didn’t score. They were allowing just under 3.5 runs a game, and apparently that was enough to lead a division these days. We had won the season series four years in a row, including a 5-4 showing last year.

Projected matchups:
Nelson Moreno (3-2, 4.69 ERA) vs. Ernie Quintero (2-3, 2.86 ERA)
Josh Brown (4-0, 2.37 ERA) vs. Jose de Lucio (3-4, 2.42 ERA)
Drew Johnson (2-2, 2.63 ERA) vs. Oscar Flores (5-1, 2.51 ERA)

Three right-handed pitchers to come up here.

Game 1
CHA: 3B Farfan – 1B Lorensen – SS Aparicio – RF C. Robinson – C Kokoszka – LF Esperanza – 2B B. Nelson – CF Aarhus – P E. Quintero
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – C Kilmer – 1B Levis – 2B Lando – CF Nettles – RF Reyna – P Moreno

Let’s just say the innings breezed by and the Falcons were living up to the hype, if you want to call it that. There was nothing going on through four innings, even though Nelson Moreno’s sophomore swoon continued unabated. He issued walks, he issued singles. In the fifth, he issued singles to both the opposing pitcher and Jose Farfan with one out. I was not amused. Ryan Lorensen then hit a fly to left, Manny made the catch, and killed another runner at home plate to end the inning. The Raccoons at this point had not even reached base against Ernie Quintero, who was on three strikeouts and zero runners, and was probably only mildly shaken up from colliding with Kilmer and a baseball in his face. He walked Kilmer to begin the bottom 5th, but Levis hit into a double play. Lando then singled, banishing that specter. Lando went to third when Nettles singled, but Reyna grounded out to Bob Nelson to end the inning. Then the sixth began with consecutive throwing errors by Kilmer and Hunter, both costing two bases against Tony Aparicio and Chris Robinson. Chris Kokoszka hit a single, and the Falcons scored two runs that would probably last them the whole weekend…

After Berto hit a 1-out single in the bottom 6th, Quintero walked the bases full to bring up Kilmer again. Kilmer hit an 0-1 pitch up the middle, right into a double play. Moreno, Clark, and Zimmerman would hold the Falcons scoreless the next two innings, after which Berto and Hunter came up with 2-out singles in the bottom 8th against Quintero and his replacement Nick Wright, who faced only one batter before retiring with an oblique injury. Manny Fernandez had the tying runs aboard against right-hander Bryan Carmichael, shoved a single to right, and sent the Raccoons’ top-of-the-order guys scurrying. Berto scored, Hunter moved to third base, and Manny reached scoring position, too, as the Falcons chased the ball around the infield. Kilmer fell to 1-2, then rushed a ball through the right side for a score-flipping single. And out of nowhere! Levis grounded out, after which the ball went to DeOrio. Greg Aarhus singled. Angelo Rios singled. Good job, boys! Jose Farfan tied the game with a grounder, with Rios to second base. He then stole third, then scored when Lando was almost struck in the eye by a pop he marveled at too long. That error was the fourth on the Coons in the goddamn game and also handed the lead back to the Falcons. DeOrio walked Lorensen before being yanked, kicking over the Gaytirade barrel in the dugout, which made a neat sticky mess. Chuck Jones got a double play grounder to get out of the disaster, bringing on Ray Andrews with way more K’s than innings pitched against the bottom-ish part of the order. Lando drew a leadoff walk, was doubled up by ******* Stephon Nettles, and Balaski grounded out to short. 4-3 Falcons. Ramos 2-4;

Don’t draw that snooty face, DeOrio!! – What are you putting the ******* runners on base in the first place?? – Maybe I should pitch the ninth myself, yeah! I’m still tossing the ******* baseball better than you ********!!

(Maud comes in to inquire how The Talk is going, then immediately has to catch a falling Neil Reece bobblehead as DeOrio and the GM are pushing each other into the bobblehead display cases)

Game 2
CHA: RF C. Robinson – 3B Lorensen – SS Aparicio – C M. Cook – LF Esperanza – CF C. Russell – 2B Farfan – 1B Rempfer – P de Lucio
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – C Kilmer – RF Balaski – 1B Kilgallen – 2B Lando – CF Nettles – P Brown

For a change, the Raccoons scored first with a Manny Fernandez homer, plating Hunter too, in the first inning, going up 2-0 behind undefeated Josh Brown. So, Slappy, how about putting those feet up and calling Maud to bring a few margheritas? – Yes, you’re right, real men should drink real booze. (Cristiano sadly peeks over his XXL Cosmo with two little pink umbrellas)

Berto added a run with a double that scored Nettles in the second inning, but then things went downhill rather fast. It started to rain, and Brown was whacked around for three hits and a Balaski error as the Falcons made up two runs in the third inning, then stranded the tying run in scoring position each of the next two. The baseball gods added a rain delay, then Tony Hunter pulling up lame on a double in the fifth inning. He had to leave the game, and since the Raccoons were already compromised with their middle infielders Berto had to move to shortstop with de Wit at third base. Kilmer slapped a 2-out RBI single to at least not let Hunter’s sacrifice go to waste, and then Balaski drilled a home run to center, trying to make up for his earlier error, extending the lead to 6-2.

There was a second rain delay in the bottom the sixth inning, curtailing Brown’s outing this time, while the Raccoons had Nettles and Berto on second and first, two outs, and de Wit batting against righty Sean Yates. Nobody in Aruba changed the channel until baseball came back 35 minutes later, only to see Aruba’s Finest strike out to strand a pair. Manny (double) and Kilmer (RBI single) added a run in the seventh, but the Falcons were zoning in on Berto at short by the eighth, hitting four grounders there, of which he missed one and flubbed another, but somehow Zabala and the rest of the crew managed to get three outs after all… Berto had to handle another grounder in the ninth, but retired Chris Russell while Alex Ramirez went 1-2-3 on the Falcons. 7-2 Raccoons. Ramos 2-3, BB, 2B, RBI; Hunter 1-2, BB, 2B; Fernandez 2-4, HR, 2B, 2 RBI; Kilmer 2-4, 2 RBI; Balaski 2-4, HR, 2 RBI; Nettles 2-4;

There were good news after all, though. Dr. Padilla reported that Tony Hunter had only a mild calf strain and would be as good as new in a few days. We had Monday off, and we’d leave him out of the Sunday game to not dare the baseball gods to make his leg fall off.

Also, Cosmo Trevino came off the DL and was added back to the roster. The Raccoons kindly asked Miguel Reyna to accept an assignment to AAA, which he answered with an uninspired “you gotta get me through waivers first”, which was true as well.

Thus, Reyna ended up on waivers, the Raccoons added Cosmo, and then they’d, heck, try to win a rubber game.

Game 3
CHA: 3B Farfan – 1B Lorensen – SS Aparicio – RF C. Robinson – C Kokoszka – LF Esperanza – CF C. Russell – 2B B. Nelson – P O. Flores
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF Fernandez – C Morales – RF Balaski – 1B Levis – SS Kilgallen – CF Nettles – P Johnson

The Falcons socked Johnson for four runs in the opening inning, starting with a Farfan homer, and continuing with another two hits, two walks… and a bases-loaded drill in the bum to Chris Russell, too. So, that was the rubber game, what else is up, Slappy? …

While Berto was the Raccoons’ first two base runners in the first and third innings, and never got even near scoring, Johnson was yanked in the fourth when the Falcons put their pitcher, Farfan, and Lorensen on base in order with one out. Zabala inherited the mess, walked in a run against Aparicio, and then conceded two more runs on a Robinson single, as well as a fourth run on Kokoszka’s groundout. 8-0 in the fourth. Good team. Good team…

While Levis hit a meaningless homer in the bottom 5th, only the second base hit for Portland in the game, the Falcons kept cranking it up against DeOrio, who was sentenced to mop-up duties in the sixth and seventh. Mopped up he was by Charlotte, who ravaged him for five hits and four runs in the two innings to complete the demolishing of the Raccoons and all their hopes and dreams. 12-1 Falcons. Levis 2-4, HR, RBI;

In other news

May 13 – The Indians trade reliever Nate Norris (0-1, 3.79 ERA) to the Rebels for two prospects.
May 13 – Thunder OF Ethan Moore (.307, 4 HR, 11 RBI) has five hits and four RBI, including a 2-run homer, in an 8-4 win over the Knights.
May 14 – DAL 2B Hugo Acosta (.361, 1 HR, 23 RBI) comes a homer short of the cycle in a 5-hit game with 2 RBI as the Stars down the Scorpions, 10-3.
May 14 – The Pacifics send SP Josh Bourgeois (2-3, 3.80 ERA) to the Buffaloes for #96 prospect SS Landon Guillory.
May 15 – One day later, now-Buffaloes starter Josh Bourgeois (3-3, 3.17 ERA) 2-hits the Blue Sox in a 5-0 Buffos win.
May 16 – LAP SP Chris Sulkey (6-1, 1.02 ERA) 2-hits the Warriors in a 5-0 L.A. win. The 33-year-old southpaw strikes out seven.
May 16 – The Wolves get utility player Bob Mancini (.284, 7 HR, 24 RBI) from the Buffaloes in exchange for RF Troy Greenway (.231, 3 HR, 10 RBI) and a pitching prospect.
May 19 – VAN SP Eric Weitz (5-2, 4.26 ERA) and CL Josh Boles (2-4, 5.09 ERA, 7 SV) pitch a combined 1-hitter against the Bayhawks, for whom only RF/LF Dave Martinez (.256, 11 HR, 29 RBI) manages to hit a single. The Canadiens win 3-0.
May 19 – The Cyclones score 10 runs in the seventh inning in beating the Stars, 15-8.

FL Player of the Week: CIN 1B Danny Santillano (.365, 8 HR, 33 RBI), hitting .520 (13-25) with 6 HR, 13 RBI
CL Player of the Week: SFB RF/LF Dave Martinez (.256, 11 HR, 29 RBI), batting .455 (10-22) with 4 HR, 11 RBI

Complaints and stuff

A -11 run differential, sponsored by the Falcons, who can’t outscore their own shadows. (tears scout guy’s report in half and throws it at his feet) Try again.

When the Buffos acquired Vince Burke from the Pacifics on Tuesday, they axed Vince Burke, who they had taken in the rule 5 draft last December. Burke, a 24-year-old righty, had been in six games (four starts) for them, going 1-1 with a 4.30 ERA. He walked 15 in 29.1 innings, which was unpleasant. The Raccoons did thus not immediately keep him on the roster at the expense of Angelo Montano even though those two were probably tit-for-tat at this point.

Maybe one of them can be the closer…! Because Damon DeOrio will be sent to the glue factory first thing Monday morning. I don’t know how he got by in Vegas, but his ERA is up to 8.55 and I am not going to deal with that any longer. Alex Ramirez will take over closing duties.

Not like this is a team that leads many games late and *needs* a closer…..

Looking forward to the off day on Monday. Then a road trip to Oklahoma and Mexico before it’s back home for more humiliation in front of the sparse home crowd.

Fun Fact: The Aces got two pitchers for DeOrio that both outpitch him now.

And keep in mind we’re talking about Sal Lozano (4.97 ERA) and Francisco Pena (5.65 ERA) here.

The trades we do…

[Westheim]

Monday was off, except for the banishing of Damon DeOrio to the Alley Cats. I did not envy the poor coaching stuff down there that was entirely unprepared for a 27-year-old Hall of Fame level ****.

The Raccoons divined to get another look at Josh Rella in the absence of any smarter ideas.

Raccoons (24-19) @ Thunder (18-27) – May 21-23, 2041

Two of the things the Thunder lacked where offense and pitching. They were at the bottom of the list in runs scored, getting barely 3.5 runs per game across, and were also fourth from the bottom in runs allowed with an unhealthy -56 run differential (and don’t mind us, they had the damn Elks coming up, too, this week). Their defense was “eh”, while their pen was rivalling the Coons’ in terms of flammability. This was the first meeting we had this season, with last year’s season series having gone 6-3 in the Critters’ favor.

Projected matchups:
Bernie Chavez (3-4, 6.43 ERA) vs. Juan Ramos (1-5, 4.52 ERA)
Nelson Moreno (3-2, 4.12 ERA) vs. Dan Minelli (5-3, 2.79 ERA)
Josh Brown (5-0, 2.44 ERA) vs. Alan Fleming (4-2, 2.98 ERA)

Those would be all their right-handers, but it remained to be seen whether they’d use their Monday off to skip a lefty into the series. The Raccoons skipped Angelo Montano, because watching Bernie Chavez getting beaten to death was so much better…….

Contrary to expectations, Tony Hunter was not 100% on Tuesday and was left out of the starting lineup once more.

Game 1
POR: 3B A. Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF Fernandez – C Morales – RF Balaski – 1B Levis – SS Kilgallen – CF Nettles – P Chavez
OCT: LF E. Moore – 2B Martell – C Adames – RF Marz – 1B D. Cruz – SS Kuhn – CF Heskett – 3B Trawick – P J. Ramos

Berto drew a 4-pitch walk to begin the series and was maneuvered around to score on two grounders and Tony Morales’ chip single for an early lead. Bernie Chavez then drove in a run himself, singling home Nettles with two outs in the second inning after Nettles himself had singled and stolen second base. Then he was beaten to ******* death again; retiring the first six Thunder in a row was followed by leadoff walks to Brian Heskett and Jake Trawick. Juan Ramos bunted them over, and the Thunder got the runs in on Ethan Moore’s groundout, Al Martell doubling in the gap, and for good measure an RBI single by Jesus Adames, taking a 3-2 lead with two outs. While I wondered what there was to even help Bernie anymore, besides holding his head under water for a solid 15 minutes, those were the only Thunder hits through five innings. John Marz dropped a soft single in the sixth that led nowhere. Jimmy Kuhn then hit a leadoff jack in the seventh, because it wouldn’t be Bernie if it didn’t make loud noise from time to time. The Raccoons, meanwhile, had apparently gone to bed and didn’t figure offensive throughout the middle innings at all. The top 8th then saw the tying runs on base almost by surprise; Morales hit a 1-out single, while Bill Balaski walked. Levis struck out. Kilgallen flew out to center. In the ninth, Hunter, Ito, and Berto went out in order. 4-2 Thunder. Morales 3-4, 2B, RBI;

That was the kind of loss bad teams would suffer to other bad teams…

Game 2
POR: 3B A. Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – C Morales – 1B Balaski – 2B Trevino – RF Ito – CF Nettles – P Moreno
OCT: LF E. Moore – 2B Martell – C Adames – RF Marz – 1B D. Cruz – CF Ringel – SS Kalinowski – 3B Trawick – P Minelli

The baseball gods give, the baseball gods take – Berto started a splendid 5-4-3 double play for a bowling ball his size to end the second inning on Adrian Ringel, then threw away Jake Trawick’s grounder the following inning for a 2-base error. In the end, the Thunder didn’t score early on despite Moreno walking Moore with two outs and throwing a wild pitch, because Martell’s fly was tracked down by Manny. The Thunder had two hits and as many double plays through four innings, while the Raccoons had landed four hits and didn’t have anything to show for them, either. Berto walked in the fifth and was left on; Morales hit a single in the sixth that he thought got by Ringel, but it didn’t, and Tony didn’t make it to second base alive… Moore singled off Nels in the bottom 6th, but was caught stealing. One of *those* games!

The Raccoons got two on in the seventh with nobody out because Cosmo singled to begin the frame, took off with Ito blinking at a fat pitch and was safe because Adames threw high. The Thunder then bypassed Ito to get to the .186 hitter Stephon Nettles, who grounded out, but advanced the runners. Nels then heldout for a full count against new pitcher Jake Bonnie, then dinged the southpaw with a single up the middle that put the first two runs on the board! Berto ripped a double into the gap, reaching a .409 OBP – and also for his knee, which seemed to bother him. I sighed loudly in the visiting GM’s box. Dr. Padilla collected Berto, who was replaced by Jay de Wit. The Thunder walked Hunter intentionally to get to Manny Fernandez, which oughta be a crime. Turns out, it was, and the sentence was a 2-run single by Manny and an RBI single by Morales before Balaski tumbled into a double play to end the 5-spot.

Moreno maintained a 3-hitter through seven, then came back for the eighth. Trawick singled, Rick Urfer belted a pinch-hit homer, and Moreno was replaced with Brent Clark for the left-handed top of the order. Between Clark and Zabala the Raccoons loaded the bases, but PH Jimmy Kuhn would pop out to leave them loaded. Alex Ramirez, maybe the new closer or maybe not, retired the Thunder in order to make his case in the the ninth inning. 5-2 Coons. Fernandez 2-4, 2 RBI; Morales 3-4, RBI; Trevino 2-4; Ito 1-2, BB; Moreno 7.0 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 3 BB, 2 K, W (4-2) and 1-3, 2 RBI;

Dr. Padilla, you have to explain it to me in normal person terms. What is a patella and why is it tendinitic?

Anyway, Berto was off to the DL, maybe only for 15 days, but we also thought we’d have Maldo back by now… In the absence of any actual plan or idea, the Raccoons did a smooth move and told Miguel Reyna that they had a roster spot open again and if he didn’t mind…

Yes, there was some mutual hissing going on.

Game 3
POR: SS Hunter – 2B Trevino – LF Fernandez – C Kilmer – 1B Levis – RF Ito – 3B de Wit – CF Nettles – P Brown
OCT: CF E. Moore – 2B Martell – C Adames – RF Marz – 1B D. Cruz – SS Kuhn – 3B Kalinowski – LF Trawick – P Pinter

Left-hander Casey Pinter (1-2, 3.04 ERA) gave up an unearned run in the top 1st on Levis’ sac fly after two singles and a Josh Kalinowski error had loaded the bases. Adames homered in the bottom 1st to tie the game, the Raccoons scratched out another run between Nettles and Hunter in the second inning for a new lead, and a Kalinowski double and Trawick’s RBI single took it away again in the same frame against a wonky looking Josh Brown. Pinter walked six Raccoons in just four innings, but the Critters couldn’t get a base hit when they needed them, and instead Brown kept leaking singles and fell 3-2 behind on a 2-out Kalinowski single in the bottom 4th, making all the Thunder runs occur with two outs so far.

Portland had the bases loaded with nobody out in the sixth as Brown singled, Hunter was nicked, and Cosmo singled. They scored the expected amount of runs – ******* zero. Manny struck out. Kilmer struck out. And reliever Sean Hardin completed the cleanup with a soft pop from Levis… Brown was yanked the same inning after loading the bases cluelessly. He didn’t strike out anybody in the entire game, while Chuck Jones, upon entering with three on and two outs, threw a wild pitch that almost took out .184 hitter Jesse Stedham. Once allowed to actually mess up, Stedham messed up, popping out. The Raccoons continued to trail 4-2 into the eighth, where Nick Lando drew a walk leading off and Cosmo hit a single off Bobby Klopotek. Manny Fernandez then struck out in a fat spot for the third time in the game before Brian McAllister walked Kilmer. Levis batted with three aboard and two gone against the lefty that the Thunder seemed in no hurry to remove. He struck out. 4-2 Thunder. Hunter 2-3, BB, RBI; Trevino 3-5;

Raccoons (25-21) @ Condors (22-22) – May 24-26, 2041

The Condors’ record was deceptively .500, while they had a +24 run differential that indicated they were due some good luck. Well, here we were… Fourth in runs scored and second in runs allowed, the Condors were looking forward to get into the season series, which the Raccoons so far led, 2-0 with a rainout that would be made up in September.

Projected matchups:
Drew Johnson (2-3, 3.57 ERA) vs. Jose Lerma (1-6, 5.34 ERA)
Angelo Montano (0-2, 5.09 ERA) vs. Gilberto Rendon (3-3, 3.36 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (3-5, 6.27 ERA) vs. Tommy Kubik (4-3, 2.74 ERA)

The series would start with us facing a left-hander and conclude with another edition of Southpaw Sunday, too!

Game 1
POR: SS Hunter – 3B Trevino – LF Fernandez – C Kilmer – 1B Levis – RF Ito – 2B Lando – CF Reyna – P Johnson
TIJ: LF S. Martin – 1B Willie Ojeda – CF Phinazee – SS Strohm – C Sawyer – 2B Ragsdale – RF Trahan – 3B B. Moore – P Lerma

The wickedest thing we had seen for a while in an initially dull contest turned out to be both teams ending their fourth innings with a fly ball-induced double play. The Raccoons had Manny and Levis aboard when Ito flew out to Dave Trahan, who found Levis having wandered towards second base for no good reason at all and completed the 9-3 double play, while in the bottom of the same frame, the Condors had gone up 1-0 on singles by Mal Phinazee, Mike Sawyer, and Dylan Ragsdale, when Trahan flew out to Ito this time, and the Raccoons’ rightfielder doubled the runner off second base. The game returned to being a snoozefest until Trahan homered off Johnson in the seventh. The Coons’ right-hander came apart entirely in the eighth, allowing three hits, including back-to-back RBI doubles to James Arnett and Phinazee, and with Juan Zabala replacing him the Condors unfurled another two base hits and Lando chipped in a throwing error, escalating the miserable inning into a 5-spot. 7-0 Condors. Hunter 2-4; Morales (PH) 1-1; Reyna 2-3;

So we’re already 1-3 against meager competition, and NOW we roll up Angelo Montano. Oh boy.

Game 2
POR: SS Hunter – 3B Trevino – LF Fernandez – C Morales – RF Balaski – 1B Levis – 2B Kilgallen – CF Reyna – P Montano
TIJ: RF Willie Ojeda – CF S. Martin – SS Strohm – C Sawyer – LF St. Pierre – 3B B. Moore – 2B J. Simmons – 1B Phinazee – P G. Rendon

Single, walk, single – the Raccoons got a quick start, which meant they had three on, no outs, and then Morales, Balaski, and Levis… struck out, struck out, and … struck out. I giggled like a schoolgirl while beelining for the nearest place with liquid refreshments. The Coons also left Miguel Reyna in scoring position in the second, while Montano decimated the Condors in the weirdest way. Jon St. Pierre led off the bottom 2nd with a single, and Bill Moore added another one of those. St. Pierre hurt himself on his trip to third base, was replaced with Trahan, and with the bags full and nobody out, Phinazee flew out to Manny Fernandez in left. The Condors sent Trahan for home plate, where he collided noisily with Tony Morales and remained in the dirt until being stretchered off. The second inning wasn’t even over and the Condors were on their third guy – Ryan Phillips – in the #5 spot in their lineup. Whatever works?

Actually, maybe it would be great to score at least one run if we wanted a W. In that regard, we seemed completely **** out of luck, though. The Raccoons couldn’t score when Balaski hit a leadoff double in the fourth inning (they didn’t even move him to third base…), and then the fifth saw Cosmo hit a 1-out double. Manny walked and Balaski singled, putting three on with two gone for ice cold Doug Levis, who fell to 1-2 before chugging a ball over Bill Moore’s raised glove and all the way up the line into the corner for a bases-clearing double. Hell, yes, more of that!! It gave the Coons a 3-0 lead behind Montano, who was somehow still holding up, and with the Condors inches away from putting additional pitchers into their lineup. The Condors hit a bushel of singles off Montano in the middle innings, but never could get a hit with somebody in scoring position and didn’t score while Montano clicked off five, six, seven innings. Scott Martin singled to lead off the eighth. Chris Strohm struck out, but Montano then hit Sawyer with his 107th pitch and was removed. Brent Clark came in for Ryan Phillips, who singled up the middle. The Condors admirably refused to run the bases with breakneck attitude, and Reyna threw out Martin at home plate (no injury this time!). Sawyer and Phillips reached scoring position while Ramirez replaced Clark and got a groundout to escape the jam, then completed a 4-out save without panic. 3-0 Raccoons. Trevino 2-5, 2B; Balaski 2-3, BB, 2 2B; Levis 1-2, 2 BB, 2B, 3 RBI; Montano 7.1 IP, 7 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 2 K, W (1-2);

Game 3
POR: SS Hunter – 3B Trevino – LF Fernandez – C Kilmer – 1B Levis – RF Ito – 2B Lando – CF Kilgallen – P Chavez
TIJ: LF S. Martin – 1B Willie Ojeda – CF Phinazee – SS Strohm – RF R. Phillips – 2B Ragsdale – C Guerra – 3B B. Moore – P Kubik

Bernie Chavez faced the minimum the first time through, with a single and a double play behind him, while the Raccoons remained wholly oblivious to the fact that the game revolved around actually scoring runs. Through five, “Kitten” Kubik allowed three hits, three walks, whacked Kilgallen once – and the Raccoons stranded any and all of the runners. Bernie maintained a 1-hitter through five innings, then saw Levis whack a leadoff single in the sixth. There was Rikuto Ito next, and also a 6-4-3 double play. Sigh. Kilgallen hit a leadoff double to center in the seventh… and also didn’t reach third base even. Martin hit a single off Bernie in the sixth, Phillips found a single in the seventh, and neither scored, keeping the game looking for even a sliver of offense. Jeff Kilmer broke the drought with a leadoff jack to left-center in the eighth inning, finally!

Since Bernie was so completely dominating the Condors, the Raccoons did not think about replacing him, either. Juan Guerra and Bill Moore made easy outs to begin the bottom 8th, but then James Arnett buried a ball in the gap (still better than over the fence) for a 2-out triple. Bernie whittled down Scott Martin, though, ending the inning, and then batted for himself leading off the ninth against Steve Bailey. He grounded out, but Hunter and Cosmo reached base ahead of an RBI double smacked by Manny Fernandez, 2-0. Kilmer struck out, while Tony Morales hit for Levis and was walked onto the open base. Hah! We have more like that! Balaski batted for Ito with the bases loaded and two gone… and popped out on the first pitch. (grumble grumble) Thus it was Bernie against the 2-3-4 batters, although Willie Ojeda was gone in a double switch. Justin Simmons hit second, grounding out to Lando. Phinazee popped out. Strohm grounded up the middle, Hunter deep behind the bag – no chance, infield single. The pitching coach hurried out, with Bernie already holding up a paw to slow down his pace. All was well, Bernie claimed, and he had what it took to retire .201 batter Ryan Phillips. At 2-0, Phillips singled, and up 2-0 the Raccoons pulled the plug. Ramirez came on for PH Mike Sawyer, getting a fly to center on his only pitch of the game. 2-0 Raccoons. Trevino 3-4, BB; Levis 2-3, BB; Kilgallen 1-2, BB, 2B; Chavez 8.2 IP, 6 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 2 K, W (4-5);

In other news

May 20 – Milwaukee outfielder Justin Nelson (.265, 5 HR, 18 RBI) falls a double shy of the cycle as he rips into the Knights for five hits and 3 RBI. The Loggers win, 11-4.
May 20 – SAC LF/SS Jesus Banuelas (.382, 1 HR, 16 RBI) keeps raking, dropping four hits and as many RBI in a 13-3 rout of the Cyclones.
May 22 – The Pacifics’ recent addition, outfielder Aaron Foss (.306, 5 HR, 22 RBI) tags the Capitals for five base hits, all singles, in a 14-7 shootout.
May 24 – MIL SP Sal Chavez (3-3, 3.68 ERA) and CL Kurt Crater (3-3, 4.94 ERA, 14 SV) pitch a combined 1-hitter in a 5-2 win over the Aces. The only Vegas hit is a 2-run home run served up by Chavez to rookie CF/RF Chris Whalen (.198, 3 HR, 10 RBI).
May 24 – Bone spurs in his elbow needing immediate removal end the season of RIC SP Jared Murphy (3-3, 2.83 ERA).

FL Player of the Week: SFW C Ethan McCullar (.267, 8 HR, 40 RBI), batting .440 (11-25) with 4 HR, 15 RBI
CL Player of the Week: BOS RF/LF Kyle Beard (.293, 4 HR, 21 RBI), hitting .480 (12-25) with 3 RBI

Complaints and stuff

Was this week a success? No. The team went 3-3 and looked like it would fall victim to starvation on most days. We were outscored by three runs, which happens, but the opposing teams only scored 17 runs themselves… Scoring 2.3 runs per game is usually not a lasting recipe for success.

Dr. Padilla, when’s Maldonado going to lose that cast? – Tuesday? – You promise? – Double-promise? – Good.

We start another 2-week homestand now, featuring the Aces, Indians, Loggers (shivers), and Stars.

Fun Fact: The record for fewest Raccoons at-bats while hitting a triple is held by just-retired left-hander Mauricio Garavito.

Garavito, who pitched here for almost 12 seasons, got exactly 12 at-bats in his career and landed two base hits, both in otherwise wretched 2032. One of them was a single, the other a triple, and they came in the same game on August 6 against the Indians, braving through four innings of long relief after Travis Coffee lasted only three innings on account of injury rather than dismemberment. Garavito didn’t allow a run and batted twice, including a 2-out triple that scored Toby Ross and Brendan Day (who?) against John McInerney. The Coons won 8-0.

[Westheim]

The Raccoons returned home to have an off day on Monday ahead of a 13-game homestand. Jesus Maldonado, who had gone down with the broken wrist after only 12 games, was activated from the DL and Rikuto Ito, batting 1-for-21 in his last nine games, was sent to the Alley Cats.

Raccoons (27-22) vs. Aces (24-27) – May 28-30, 2041

We were up 2-1 on the Aces for the season. The Vegas team ranked seventh in the CL in both runs scored and runs allowed, although the rotation was pretty sturdy overall and let down by suspicious defense from time to time. While they were in the upper half in home runs and stolen bases, the Aces were third from the bottom in on-base percentage. Thankfully, we’d keep Bernie Chavez away from them…

Projected matchups:
Nelson Moreno (4-2, 3.94 ERA) vs. Oscar Valdes (5-3, 2.60 ERA)
Josh Brown (5-1, 2.80 ERA) vs. Willie Gallardo (4-5, 3.84 ERA)
Drew Johnson (2-4, 3.86 ERA) vs. Israel Mendoza (2-5, 3.82 ERA)

Not a left-hander to be found in their rotation…!

Game 1
LVA: CF Dustal – 3B Rossi – SS O’Keefe – RF Jorgensen – LF C. Caldwell – 2B D. Richardson – 1B J. Velazquez – C D. Gomez – P O. Valdes
POR: SS Hunter – 3B Trevino – LF Fernandez – C Morales – CF Maldonado – RF Balaski – 1B Levis – 2B Lando – P Moreno

The Coons began their week by getting three on (Hunter walk, Cosmo single, Manny drill) and scoring nobody thanks to a pop, a comebacker for a force at home, and a lazy fly to Cory Caldwell. Moreno had two very good innings, then hit a single, got to stand around the bases pointlessly for ten minutes while Tony Hunter and Cosmo Trevino did little, and then got dinked around for a two singles and a run in the top 3rd. Bill Balaski ******* dropping yet another lazy fly by Jonathan Dustal didn’t help either. The game then also became exceedingly dull, with nobody doing much worth talking about. By the seventh inning, both teams were on four hits and an error, and it was still 1-0 Aces. That was, until Moreno walked John Velazquez with one out. He struck out Danny Gomez, then got 0-2 ahead of Oscar Valdes. For his 105th and final pitch of the game, Nels unfurled a curve that hung in the middle of the plate and couldn’t even be missed by a ******* pitcher. Valdes belted it for a home run (his third of the season…!), and the game was pretty much decided at that point. The Raccoons got Nettles on with a leadoff walk in the #9 spot to begin the bottom 7th. Cosmo hit an RBI double, advanced to third base on a throw to home plate that was never gonna get Nettles, and then scored on Manny’s sac fly, but that only got the Coons to 3-2, no further. The tying run would only reach base by impact, specifically of a 66mph goofball thrown by Aaron Duval that dinked Hunter’s bum with one out in the bottom 9th. Hunter then took off and was caught stealing before Cosmo walked. Manny Fernandez struck out. 3-2 Aces. Hunter 1-2, 2 BB, 2B;

Well, that was awful…

Speaking of awful…:

Interlude: Trade

On Tuesday night, the Raccoons got 34-year-old CL Wyatt Hamill (2-4, 2.74 ERA, 13 SV) from the Thunder in exchange for super utility Matt Kilgallen (.261, 2 HR, 8 RBI) and the pest on humanity that was Damon DeOrio (1-2, 8.55 ERA, 9 SV before exile). Hamill, who was under contract through 2042 for $1.92M per season, had been a closer on four different teams, with good success, and this time it would totally work out.

Totally.

To make up the numbers for the time being, MR Josh Rella was returned to AAA and the Raccoons promoted 1B Art Goetz, hitting .323/.476/.569 in St. Pete at nearly 26 years old. Goetz had been third-rounder in 2036 and had parked it in Ham Lake for two full and two partial seasons on his slow, slow way up. Goetz was batting lefty, which made him a good completement to a slumping Doug Levis (aren’t they always?) while we were on the lookout for another infielder.

Raccoons (27-22) vs. Aces (24-27) – May 28-30, 2041

Game 2
LVA: CF Rossi – SS O’Keefe – RF Jorgensen – C Wiersma – 1B J. Byrd – 3B D. Richardson – 2B Bensinger – LF Dustal – P W. Gallardo
POR: SS Hunter – 3B Trevino – LF Fernandez – C Morales – CF Maldonado – 1B Goetz – RF Reyna – 2B Lando – P Brown

The middle game started with a Nate Rossi homer to left, so there was the instant deficit we were looking for. Manny would make up the deficit in the bottom 3rd, landing the last of three Coons hits in the inning that started with a Brown double and continued with a Cosmo single in the middle. Morales then spanked into a inning-murdering double play.

It was another dull game. Through five innings, there were no other hits than the Rossi bomb and the three the Coons cobbled together in the third. Rossi had the Thunder’s second hit, too, a sixth-inning single that got them nowhere, and deep inside I braced for a 15-inning, 2-1 loss. Even the Coons’ wonky pen might have trouble blowing a game quickly against an Aces team that couldn’t even rely on their certified pest, Ken Wiersma, who had Steve Jorgensen aboard in the seventh, then hit into a double play. Also, anybody remember the debut kid? “Kid”, at almost 26. Art Goetz was retired his first two times up. His third at-bat came leading off the bottom 7th. He hit a banger off Willie Gallardo, inches over the fence and Dustal’s raised glove, and gave the Critters a 2-1 lead! Brown looked after the lead himself in the eighth inning, allowing a single to Jason Bensinger, but finished his outing ahead and with eight strikeouts on the board. Portland then tacked on in the bottom 8th, with Hunter walking and Manny rushing a homer outta rightfield, his eighth of the year, to get to 4-1. With two outs, Gallardo walked Maldo – first time he got on base since coming off the DL – nailed Goetz, then gave up an RBI single to PH Jeff Kilmer. Lando grounded out. With a 4-run lead and nothing but right-handers up, the Raccoons refrained from sending in Wyatt Hamill, who had arrived just before game time, and had only been fitted for a uniform in the middle innings… at least until they couldn’t continue watching Alex Ramirez to **** it all up. Ramirez initially put Chris O’Keefe on base, but Jorgensen hit into a double play. Then Wiersma, John Byrd, and Doug Richardson all reached in order, bringing up the tying run in PH Corey Caldwell. He was a left-hander, so here came a left-hander. Hamill fell to 3-1, then gave up a screamer to right that was hit so hard it almost broke a hole in the wall before caroming away from Nettles in rightfield. All of Ramirez’ runners scored before Dustal struck out to end the game after all. 5-4 Critters. Fernandez 2-4, HR, 3 RBI; Kilmer (PH) 1-1, RBI; Brown 8.0 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 8 K, W (6-1) and 1-3, 2B;

…and that, kids, is why you always tack on!

I see, Wyatt, the uniform is too tight. – Around the neck. Ah yes. – Yes, my neck also tries to burst through my shirt right now.

Game 3
LVA: 2B D. Richardson – 3B Rossi – SS O’Keefe – RF Jorgensen – 1B J. Byrd – CF Whalen – LF O. Burgos – C D. Gomez – P I. Mendoza
POR: SS Hunter – 3B Trevino – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Kilmer – 1B Goetz – RF Nettles – 2B Lando – P Johnson

More dull baseball. While Drew Johnson scattered three hits and two walks in five innings to not concede anything to the Aces that would end the game after nine innings, the Raccoons had their first 11 batters in the game all retired by Israel Mendoza before Manny hit a double to right-center. Maldonado got whacked, but Kilmer grounded out poorly, stranding the precious runners. The Raccoons reached base only with two outs again in the bottom 5th, when Nick Lando singled to center. Johnson also singled over the head of Rossi, and Tony Hunter singled right in front of Ozzie Burgos. That loaded the bases for Cosmo, who grounded out to Richardso- hold on! He threw the ball away! Wild ball caroming around in foul ground, and the Raccoons scored two runs on the throwing error…! WHATEVER WORKS. Manny Fernandez’ clutch single to right-center made it four unearned runs on Richardson’s piss poor throw, and maybe that was going to be enough here …!

While Johnson sure did his part, extending a 3-hit shutout through seven innings, the Raccoons even tacked on in the bottom 7th, erasing Mendoza with two outs when Cosmo singled and Manny hit a home run to right, 6-0. Johnson expired the following inning after drawn-out at-bats with Richardson (who walked) and Rossi, who flew out to center for the second out, then was replaced with Zabala after 106 pitches, which was more than his fill. Zabala got the last out of the inning from O’Keefe, while Tim Zimmerman resisted the urge to implode in the ninth. 6-0 Raccoons. Fernandez 3-4, HR, 2B, 4 RBI; Lando 2-3, BB; Johnson 7.2 IP, 4 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 6 K, W (3-4) and 1-3;

Raccoons (29-23) vs. Indians (21-30) – May 31-June 2, 2041

The Indians were not that bad on paper. For starters, their run differential was the same as their record relative to .500, -9. The Coons’ was barely better at -8… They had a hard time scoring, and their rotation was iffy, but they had the best bullpen in the league, whatever that got them. They had also not won any of their five games against Portland so far, so what am I even complaining about?

Projected matchups:
Angelo Montano (1-2, 3.86 ERA) vs. Alex Flores (3-6, 4.97 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (4-5, 5.43 ERA) vs. Chris Haskell (0-7, 5.25 ERA)
Nelson Moreno (4-3, 3.95 ERA) vs. Jake Jackson (4-6, 3.04 ERA)

For the second series in a row, the other team didn’t even have a left-hander. They might skip Haskell, bringing in Manuel Herrera (4-1, 2.75 ERA).

Game 1
IND: LF D. Gonzales – 3B Hutson – C Mordino – RF Sanderfer – 1B Dodson – CF D. Rivera – 2B Peets – SS Huber – P A. Flores
POR: SS Hunter – 3B Trevino – LF Fernandez – C Morales – CF Maldonado – 1B Goetz – RF Nettles – 2B Lando – P Montano

Somehow, this week had only slow starts to baseball games. The Raccoons had a few early runners, but hit into double plays in the first (Manny) and second (Maldo) innings and got nowhere. The Indians got singles from Will Peets and David Gonzales in the third inning against Montano, but Peets was thrown out at home plate to make an end of the inning. Adam Huber also made an out on the basepaths in the fifth, going first-to-third on Alex Flores’ single, except that he was erased by Maldonado to end the inning. And I don’t know whether this said more about the Arrowheads or Angelo Montano, but the latter had seven strikeouts against three hits and no runs through five innings. But he didn’t have any run support, and when he did walk Dan Hutson and Alex Sanderfer in the sixth inning, Pat Dodson’s soft single to left was enough to give the Indians a 1-0 lead. He also never managed to make an unproductive out of Alex Flores. In the seventh, with two gone, Flores singled. Montano hung around, gave up a triple to Gonzales and a single to Hutson, and thus two more runs before being yanked anyway. Sal Mordino then flew out to Maldonado against David Lindstrom, but the righty reliever was tagged for another run in the eighth by Dodson and Peets landing base hits. The Raccoons accepted defeat to the tune of a 5-hit shutout by Alex Flores. 4-0 Indians. Morales 2-3, BB; Goetz 2-4, 2B; Balaski (PH) 1-1;

Interlude: waiver claim

The Raccoons added another former Thunder by Saturday, claiming super utility Jake Trawick (.231, 2 HR, 10 RBI) off waivers. He would replace Art Goetz (.333, 1 HR, 1 RBI) on the roster. The 36-year-old Trawick was best suited for leftfield, but was also a fit for center and third base, and could fill in at the middle infield spots if needed. His bat inspired nobody, but then there was probably a reason that he was now on his seventh team in six seasons.

Raccoons (29-23) vs. Indians (21-30) – May 31-June 2, 2041

Game 2
IND: RF Crocker – 3B Hutson – CF D. Rivera – C Mordino – 1B Dodson – 2B Sanderfer – LF D. Gonzales – SS Huber – P Ja. Jackson
POR: SS Hunter – 2B Trevino – LF Fernandez – C Morales – 3B Maldonado – 1B Levis – RF Balaski – CF Nettles – P Chavez

Portland scored two in the opening frame, landing four hits including doubles by Hunter and Maldonado, and could have done more damage if not for an otherworldly snag by Adam Huber, shagging a scorched liner by Levis that seemed destined for the gap. Bernie immediately gave up a celebratory homer to Pat Dodson to cut the lead in half, then hit a single with Nettles on second in the bottom 2nd. Nettles was sent around and thrown out by Nick Crocker, who then had the favor returned by Manny Fernandez, starting from second base on Danny Rivera’s single in the third inning, and also being thrown out at the plate. We then waited for another knell of Bernie, who was throwing heat down the middle and how long could that go well…?

But before the lead went bust, the bottom 5th saw Hunter reach on Alex Sanderfer’s error to begin the inning. Cosmo singled, both took off on the first pitch to Manny, and when Mordino threw the ball away Hunter scored and Cosmo dawdled to third base. The bags filled up with an intentional walk to Manny and a pitch into Morales chest, giving us three on with no outs. Oh no. Maldonado, for the second time this week, hit a comebacker for a force out at home with the bases loaded, which was ONE way to express you’d like to have another paw broken and return to the DL. (pats his left palm with a bat held in his right) And Levis hit into a double play – hooray, the Coons!

David Gonzales then hit a 2-run homer off Bernie in the sixth to tie the game, but I was neither surprised nor sad, just annoyed. Clark and Zimmerman then held the game tied through eight while the Raccoons did absolutely nothing worth writing home about. The ninth saw Hamill get around a walk to Nick Crocker to hold the Indians from scoring, so the Raccoons could still walk off in regulation with a single measly run, but would have to do so against the left-handed Joe Robinson with the top of the order. They didn’t get past a Cosmo single, sending the game to extras. Maldonado, who had a rotten time since coming off the DL, then whacked Robinson for a leadoff double in the bottom 10th. Levis was walked intentionally, after which the Raccoons broke out their remaining righty hitters. Kilmer struck out. Lando struck out. Miguel Reyna then hit for Hamill … and struck out. ******* bunch. The winning run also remained at third base in the 11th inning. Cosmo got on, stole second, moved to third on a groundout, and was stranded when Morales whiffed against Fernando Nora. Maldonado hit a leadoff single in the 12th, then was doubled up by Levis. The Coons had the pitcher in the #7 slot now, and Alex Ramirez – also two valorous innings for no banana – was hit for by starting pitcher Josh Brown, .370 hitter by night, since the bench was empty after the 10th inning pinch-hitting gorefest. Brown flew out to left, and the game continued. Lindstrom was next out of the pen, which still contained Zabala and Jones, so at least on that front there were no issues to report, and posted a clean 13th. Lando had remained in the #8 hole and grounded out to begin the bottom of the inning, before the game ended with a bang – Miguel Reyna’s first homer as a Coon. 4-3 Blighters. Trevino 3-5, BB, RBI; Maldonado 3-6, 2 2B, RBI; de Wit (PH) 1-1; Reyna (PH) 1-2, HR, RBI; Hamill 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 2 K; Ramirez 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 2 K;

No-no, Maud, I didn’t fall asleep. I saw it all! – (rubs eyes) Don’t ask dumb questions. – Of course I know who hit the walkoff homer! – (silence) … Daniel Hall?

Game 3
IND: RF Crocker – 3B Hutson – CF D. Rivera – C Mordino – 1B Dodson – 2B Sanderfer – LF D. Gonzales – SS Huber – P M. Herrera
POR: SS Hunter – CF Maldonado – LF Fernandez – C Kilmer – 1B Levis – RF Balaski – 3B Trawick – 2B Lando – P Moreno

Crocker doubled, Rivera singled, and the Arrowheads were up 1-0 in the first against Nelson Moreno. Maldo was the only Coon to reach base the first time through, but tied the game with a homer. The joy was short-lived since Moreno continued to run 2-strike counts on everybody and never got the deal finished. He ran four 2-strike counts in the fourth inning, yielded three hits and a sac fly to fall behind again…

The Furballs scratched out another tie in the fifth with doubles by Trawick – first hit on the team – and Hunter doing the trick. By the same time the noises that Moreno’s pitches generated got louder, maybe because the Indians got bolder. They took bigger rips, leading to five strikeouts after six, but also hit a few deep flies. Sanderfer ripped a 2-out triple off the fence in the sixth, but with nobody on and with Gonzales being retired in center afterwards. The Raccoons then actually took the lead in the bottom of the inning. Sanderfer and Huber got into each other’s uniforms but failed to play Levis’ roller, which became a 1-out infield single. Balaski hit a solid single. Trawick beat Rivera in center for another double. Levis scored, with Balaski held for fear of Rivera’s murder arm. Lando was walked with intent and that ended Moreno’s day; with three on and one out, Cosmo batted for him, having to put down the pie on his day off. He grounded to Sanderfer, who threw the ball through a befuddled Huber’s legs for a run-scoring error. Hunter popped out, but Trawick and Lando scored on Maldonado’s single to extend the gap to 6-2. Left-hander Aaron Curl got Manny to 0-2 before he poked the ball at Sanderfer, who made his second error of the inning to restock the bases for Jeff Kilmer, who crashed a bases-clearing double past David Gonzales to decide the contest, 9-2. Of the Raccoons’ 7-run eruption, five runs were unearned. Oh whatever! At least Chuck Jones retired four Indians for no runs allowed, and while the Indians got a run off Zabala in the ninth inning, Zabala at least finished the game without us having to call emergency services again… 9-3 Raccoons! Hunter 2-5, 2B, RBI; Maldonado 2-4, BB, HR, 3 RBI; Kilmer 2-4, 2B, 3 RBI; Trawick 2-4, 2 2B, RBI; Reyna 1-1;

In other news

May 27 – Pacifics third-string catcher John Lunde (.375, 0 HR, 2 RBI) piles five hits, including two doubles, and an RBI on the Blue Sox for an 11-3 L.A. victory.
May 27 – The Rebels acquire SP Casey Pinter (2-2, 2.92 ERA) from the Thunder for two prospects.
May 29 – Falcons catcher Mitch Cook (.253, 3 HR, 11 RBI) drives in half the runs in the Falcons’ 12-4 win over the Titans while missing the cycle by the single.
May 31 – Wolves CF/RF Armando Herrera (.350, 1 HR, 27 RBI) lands a fourth-inning single in a 6-5 loss to the Scorpions, finishing the month with a 20-game hitting streak.
June 1 – TOP 1B Chris Delagrange (.269, 7 HR, 34 RBI) would be on the shelf for the month after having suffered a wrist sprain.

FL Player of the Week: SAC OF/2B Alfonso Cedillo (.284, 11 HR, 36 RBI), hitting .417 (10-24) with 3 HR, 9 RBI
CL Player of the Week: VAN C Timóteo Clemente (.231, 5 HR, 29 RBI), swatting .529 (9-17) with 2 HR, 5 RBI

FL Hitter of the Month: LAP INF Brian Bowman (.315, 7 HR, 37 RBI), hitting .374 with 5 HR, 28 RBI
CL Hitter of the Month: SFB RF/LF/1B Dave Martinez (.263, 14 HR, 38 RBI), batting .327 with 8 HR, 26 RBI
FL Pitcher of the Month: SFW SP Keith Black (8-3, 2.54 ERA), tossing for 5-0, 1.55 ERA, 27 K
CL Pitcher of the Month: CHA SP Oscar Flores (7-2, 2.28 ERA), hurling at 5-1, 1.72 ERA, 26 K
FL Rookie of the Month: PIT OF/1B Rusty Dirks (.356, 2 HR, 18 RBI), hitting .360, 1 HR, 11 RBI
CL Rookie of the Month: CHA C/1B Chris Kokoszka (.247, 2 HR, 24 RBI), batting .280 with 2 HR, 13 RBI

Complaints and stuff

If you look at the roster, you see names you’d never have expected to see. How the heck did the Raccoons, who entertained somewhat rosy playoff ambitions before the season and still pretend they have a legit shot, end up with an old leather boot like Jake Trawick? That is the sort of acquisition (off waivers no less) a .420 team would make in May.

No offense, Jake. – No-no, keep nomming your grapes. – That’s right. Nom-nom-nom. Be a good boy. Do the chew-chew.

(tensely watches Trawick while Trawick slowly shoves another grape in his snout, tensely watching the GM)

They sure have pointy ears whenever you say something that’s not for them.

Crucial 4-game set with the Loggers coming up, which I have a bad feeling about. I don’t know why there’s sometimes a team that you just can’t beat. I mean, even as a nominally winning team.

The Raccoons, if they want to be taken seriously, would need a #5 starter that belongs in the majors. We might try out Corey Mathers soon, but his 2.25 ERA in St. Pete is brushed up nicely by a .230 BABIP that he’s not likely to get on a consistent basis. He doesn’t even reach 2 K/BB down there. Jason Wheatley will be promoted to AAA now, but he’s of course not ready for the show yet. Tony Negrete will replace him in Ham Lake, coming from Aumsville.

Fun Fact: The Raccoons lead the CL with a stolen base per game.

And that is with Berto and Cosmo constantly missing time. Tony Hunter sitting on 20 bags sure helps out, though.

[Westheim]

2041 DRAFT POOL ANALYSIS

The 2041 draft pool was here, and the Raccoons had some good picks, and … (looks at reports) … and the draft pool isn’t very good at all.

There’s some pitching. There’s a few hitters. Nothing special. There’s not even one kid here on the list that I absolutely want. Not one. I mean, scout guy over here went through the motions and gave me a hotlist, but … eh…! (*denotes high school player)

SP Rich Knowles (11/12/13) * - BNN #3
SP Eric Kruse (12/12/14)
SP Bubba Wolinsky (10/14/14) *
SP Charlie Hudson (11/15/8)

C Sean Suggs (12/17/9) * - BNN #4

1B Chris Schrock (11/13/13) * - BNN #8
INF/LF/CF Eric Miller (11/13/8) – BNN #1
INF Andrew Russ (11/3/12) – BNN #2

That’s it. That’s already it. Now, everybody is up and on about Suggs, but then we saw all the video there is of him chasing after passed balls, and the guy really needs a different position. Thing is, he’s not gonna find one, at least not one where he’s better suited and that’s on a baseball diamond.

Sad draft. Sad times.

[Westheim]

Raccoons (31-24) vs. Loggers (34-21) – June 3-6, 2041

Not sure what it was with the Raccoons and the Milwaukee Demigods recently, but we had already dropped the last two season series against them as well as the first set of games this year, which had developed into a mild 4-game rout. The Loggers were by no means otherworldly, with pedestrian pitching that was backed by the second-best offense in the CL. They hit for average, power, got on base, stole those bases all by top four rates in the CL, making their approach well-balanced, while the Raccoons were mo- (great noise nearby!) … Berto, would you please stop tumbling into the bobblehead displays!!

Projected matchups:
Josh Brown (6-1, 2.61 ERA) vs. Adam Giovenco (4-1, 3.52 ERA)
Drew Johnson (3-4, 3.45 ERA) vs. Sal Chavez (3-4, 4.17 ERA)
Angelo Montano (1-3, 3.89 ERA) vs. Carlos Padilla (4-3, 5.43 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (4-5, 5.35 ERA) vs. Sergio Piedra (6-2, 3.68 ERA)

Another opponent with no left-handers to put up against us. Where had all the southpaws gone??

Game 1
MIL: CF Cannizzard – RF N. Duncan – 3B Paul – SS Del Vecchio – 1B Brayboy – C F. Gomez – 2B V. Acosta – LF Torri – P Giovenco
POR: SS Hunter – 3B Trevino – LF Fernandez – C Morales – CF Maldonado – RF Balaski – 1B Levis – 2B Lando – P Brown

While an early homer by Nick Duncan was matched by Tony Hunter in the same opening frame, the Loggers got Josh Brown for another run in the third inning on a single by Tim Cannizzard, who stole second base, and Jared Paul’s 2-out RBI double. Portland then loaded the bases with a leadoff walk drawn by Tony Hunter and singles by Cosmo and Manny, both of the soft sort. It was thus three on, nobody gone, and I was not quite sure what they were trying to prove here, other than time and again that they wouldn’t sore from that situation, or at most one run, maybe. The one run scored on Maldonado’s groundout, after Tony Morales had hit a comebacker for a force out at home, and before Bill Balaski leisurely flew out to leftfielder Dan Torri, ending the inning in a 2-2 tie. The top of the Loggers order got an otherwise decent Josh Brown again in the fifth, this time with straight 2-out singles from the 1-2-3 hitters. A wild pitch with two on and Jared Paul up ensured that Paul’s stringer to center would score two. Yet, again, the Raccoons matched the output in the same inning when Tony Morales homered to right, collecting Manny Fernandez to make it four-all through five innings.

Brown held out for six before being done again, while the Raccoons crowded Giovenco with two outs in the bottom 6th, but damned be them if they’d score with Lando, Reyna, and Hunter on base! Cosmo grounded out trivially to strand all of the bunch. Milwaukee instead whacked Tim Zimmerman around for a pinch-hit Justin Nelson double, a Duncan RBI single, and an RBI double by bedeviled Ted Del Vecchio to go up 6-4 in the seventh. Brent Clark had to get in and restore order. Another immediate response? Manny hit a leadoff double in the bottom 7th, then scored on Maldo’s single. Balaski also singled, sending the tying run to third base. Doug Levis then torpedoed the effort with a grounder to second base that became an inning-ending double play, while Nelson conquered Clark with a 2-out, 2-run bomb in the eighth. Manny drove in de Wit with a run in the bottom 8th, but it wasn’t enough, especially since the Raccoons’ pen continued to leak. Del Vecchio, the miserable weedhead, hit another homer off Zabala in the ninth, after which the Raccoons retired to bed. 9-6 Loggers. Trevino 2-5; Fernandez 4-5, 2 2B, RBI; Lando 2-4; de Wit (PH) 1-1, 2B;

Game 2
MIL: LF J. Nelson – SS Del Vecchio – RF N. Duncan – 1B Brayboy – 3B Paul – C F. Gomez – CF Torri – 2B V. Acosta – P S. Chavez
POR: SS Hunter – 3B Trevino – LF Fernandez – C Morales – 1B Maldonado – RF Balaski – CF Nettles – 2B Lando – P Johnson

Drew Johnson was whacked around no less than Brown the day before, and Nick Duncan hit another first-inning solo homer to open the barrage. Del Vecchio and Duncan made the corners in the third inning before Duncan was caught stealing for the second out and Johnson balked in Del Vecchio after all. The fourth was just a potpourri of line drive hits and bad defense that gave the Loggers another two casual runs, which – cherry on top – were singled in by Sal Chavez. It also rained intermittently, creating an adequately miserable atmosphere all around. Johnson walked five Loggers and was all chewed through in six innings, at which point the Raccoons had amounted to a lone base hit and no runs against Chavez. It was all pointless. Hunter drew a walk and stole his 21st base in the sixth, but the Raccoons didn’t add a base hit to an early Maldonado single until Doug Levis hit a pinch-hit single in the eighth, and then with two outs, and of course it led nowhere whatsoever. Zimmerman had his skull cracked open again for three hits and two runs in the ninth inning, not that it made a difference anywhere other than his already pathetic ERA. 6-0 Loggers. Levis (PH) 1-1; Lindstrom 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 3 K;

Sal Chavez completed the shutout, walking four and whiffing three.

Well, maybe it would inspire Bernie. – No, Slappy, I don’t believe that either. – I’m just babbling like a street corner derelict at this point.

Game 3
MIL: 2B V. Acosta – RF N. Duncan – 3B Paul – SS Del Vecchio – 1B Brayboy – CF Prestwood – C H. Alvarez – LF Torri – P C. Padilla
POR: SS Hunter – 2B Trevino – LF Fernandez – 3B Maldonado – C Kilmer – 1B Levis – RF Reyna – CF Nettles – P Montano

Hopes were naturally low on Wednesday for our selection of starter alone, but the Raccoons took their first actual lead of the week on another Tony Hunter homer in the bottom 1st, while Nick Duncan was (narrowly) denied. But sometimes you had to get Montano a little bit of time for the implosion to develop. While he retired the first seven Loggers in a row, they got Dan Torri on with a single in the third inning and got him around with Vic Acosta’s 2-out single to left-center, erasing the Raccoons’ lead. Montano then started the bottom 3rd by legging out a roller near the third base line against Gold Glover Jared Paul, while Cosmo singled and Manny had himself dinged to fill the bases with one down. Maldonado whiffed and Jeff Kilmer flew out to Torri to curb any euphoria any ill-advised fan might have felt.

Tyler Prestwood singled home Del Vecchio, the revoltworthy ******** in the fourth inning, although a now-rare Doug Levis homer tied the game again in the bottom of the same frame, knotting the tally at two. Prestwood shrugged and hit another 2-out RBI single in the sixth, then driving in Duncan, who had singled and stolen second base. Montano lasted seven without ever completely imploding, which was admirable, yet futile given the state of things in Portland. The Raccoons fell short of scoring in the sixth or seventh innings, then at least got rid of Padilla when Kilmer drew a leadoff walk in the eighth. Levis’ groundout sent him to second base, the only batter Cesar Perez faced before southpaw Marvin Verduzco came on for the bottom of the order. The Raccoons, who had already used Jake Trawick, sent Nick Lando to pinch-hit for Miguel Reyna, and the scrappy second-sacker actually squeezed a single up the middle to get Kilmer around and tie the game. Then Nettles jabbed into a double play… When Wyatt Hamill retired the 6-7-8 batters in order in the ninth inning, the Raccoons at least had a chance to walk off in regulation. Between Balaski, Hunter, and Cosmo, nobody reached base. Hamill added a scoreless 10th for no greater good, and Alex Ramirez held Milwaukee away in the 11th. The bags filled up in the bottom of that inning against Kurt Crater. The right-hander allowed a 1-out single to PH Tony Morales, then with two outs walked Balaski with intent and Hunter without such. That put Cosmo in the golden-boy position. He clipped a 2-1 pitch over Victor Acosta, who leapt high – but missed it! The ball fell in, and Morales jiggered home as the Raccoons ACTUALLY won a game from the Loggers in 2041…! 4-3 Blighters. Trevino 3-5, BB, RBI; Lando (PH) 1-1, RBI; Morales (PH) 1-1; Hamill 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 4 K;

I don’t know, Wyatt, why they won’t give you anything to save. Believe me, I’d prefer if they did…!

As an aside, the damn Elks were playing the Arrowheads in this slot and had by now taken three 1-run losses in a row. So there WERE worse ways to play!

Jay de Wit was then handed back to St. Pete before the series finale, while Portland activated Berto from the DL. Manny Fernandez would get a rare day off for the series finale.

Game 4
MIL: CF Cannizzard – SS Del Vecchio – RF N. Duncan – 1B Brayboy – 3B Paul – LF J. Nelson – C H. Alvarez – 2B V. Acosta – P Piedra
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – SS Hunter – LF Maldonado – C Morales – 1B Levis – RF Balaski – CF Reyna – P B. Chavez

Levis became the first Critter to ten bombs this year with a solo shot in the bottom 2nd that also put the game’s first marker on the board. Next the Raccoons removed Tim Cannizzard from the equation, the centerfielder breaking his hand running into the fence as he caught a long-but-not-long-enough fly by Balaski in the same inning. Prestwood replaced him, then hit a 2-out single in the third for the first Loggers knock of the series finale, which led nowhere.

Bernie tried to solve all our problems with gas, cranking it up in the middle innings. While the Loggers found a few stray singles in the fourth, fifth, and sixth innings, they also went down in flames and Bernie piled up eight strikeouts by the end of the sixth, still holding on to a 1-0 lead sponsored by a team that had only one base hit in addition to Levis’ homer through six. Jared Paul then inevitably hit a solo homer to tie the score in the seventh. I sighed, unscrewed another bottle of Capt’n Coma and accepted defeated and dropping to 1-7 against them for the year, and burying the season altogether.

Then Levis followed up a leadoff walk by Morales with a double to center, putting two in scoring position with nobody out in the bottom 7th. The Loggers treacherously walked Balaski with intent, then went to right-hander Mario Bojorques after dooming the Raccoons with three on, nobody out. Reyna struck out before Manny obviously batted for Bernie Chavez and grinded out a walk to push home the go-ahead run. Berto clipped an RBI single, and Cosmo hit an infield roller that left Paul with the ball, but no play on any base, getting Balaski across, 4-1. Tony Hunter’s sac fly added one more run before Maldonado flew out to Torri in left. Then Prestwood and Del Vecchio poked their way on base against Alex Ramirez in the top 8th. Chuck Jones came in for the left-handers with one out, whiffed Duncan and got Aaron Brayboy to fly out to center, stranding the runners. The Coons went on to have three on with nobody out *again* in the bottom 8th, putting the 5-6-7 batters on once more, now against Bojorques. Reyna popped out and the team was held to a Kilmer sac fly from the #9 spot for a lone tack-on run. Brent Clark retired Milwaukee in order to conclude the game. 6-1 Coons. Hunter 0-1, 2 BB, RBI; Morales 1-2, BB, 2B; Levis 2-3, BB, HR, 2B, RBI; Fernandez (PH) 0-0, BB, RBI; Chavez 7.0 IP, 6 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 9 K, W (5-5);

Raccoons (33-26) vs. Stars (28-32) – June 7-9, 2041

Somehow the Stars played in a shoebox at home and still ranked third from the bottom in runs scored in the Federal League, which struck me as a fatal flaw. Too much focus on pitching? Their hurlers were fourth (rotation) and seventh (pen) by ERA, respectively. We looked on enviously. Their run differential was -5 (Coons: -8). These teams had also met in 2040, when the Raccoons had taken two of three games from them Stars.

Projected matchups:
Nelson Moreno (5-3, 3.87 ERA) vs. Alfredo Vargas (5-4, 5.70 ERA)
Josh Brown (6-1, 2.88 ERA) vs. Orlando Leos (3-6, 4.90 ERA)
Drew Johnson (3-5, 3.65 ERA) vs. Aaron Jones (3-3, 3.77 ERA)

Another set without left-handers!

Game 1
DAL: SS O. Aguirre – LF Correa – 2B H. Acosta – C Torreo – RF Calais – 1B Monge – 3B J. Rivas – CF Cecil – P A. Vargas
POR: 3B A. Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Morales – 1B Levis – RF Balaski – 2B Lando – P Moreno

The struggles of Nelson Moreno continued, with five hits clubbed off his paws in the first three innings. Hugo Acosta’s triple and Pacio Torreo’s single led to a run in the first inning, a deficit with the Raccoons then did not obviously and visibly try to recover. While Vargas issued walks by the bushel, the Raccoons made either poor outs or hit into hard-luck ones, like Morales and Lando hitting line drives right into infielder’s mittens in the third and fourth innings, respectively, both times with a pair of runners aboard. Portland remained shut out through five, with Morales whiffing to strand Manny and Maldo in the fifth, too. Maldo then tweaked his back on a defensive play in the sixth and left the game, replaced by Stephon Nettles.

After the early barrage, Nels did not allow a base hit in the middle innings. Jose Rivas singled off him in the seventh, but was stranded at second, where he ended up on Morales’ errant pickoff attempt. Moreno struck out Tylor Cecil and Vargas to reach 8 K for the game against no walks. By contrast, Vargas through six allowed five walks and still remained on top, 1-0. Cosmo pinch-hit for Moreno when the #9 slot opened the bottom 7th, grounding out. Berto hit a single to left, then was forced out by Hunter. Manny dropped a single to center, which brought up Maldo- oh. Nettles. And yet, the perplexingly persistent .155 hitter clubbed a single to shallow right-center, getting Hunter around to score and take Moreno off the hook. Morales flew out to left, stranding two. Lindstrom held the Stars away in the eighth; Ricky Correa singled, but was caught stealing. Even Tim Zimmerman managed a scoreless ninth to keep the game tied! The Raccoons then faced long-time Crusaders and Titans foe Mike Hugh (also the rule 5 pick that got away) in the bottom 9th, with the 1-2-3 going down in order.

Free baseball was in order. Chuck Jones got around a leadoff walk issued to leadoff hitter Edward Sepulveda in the top of the 10th, while Hugh remained in for Dallas. After Nettles grounded out, he walked Morales and threw a wild pitch to get the tying run to second base. The Raccoons, however, had already used Kilmer and could not reasonably pinch-run for Morales as the winning run. Not that it would have helped – Levis struck out, and Balaski grounded out to second. Jones retired three right-handed batters in the 11th, making it imperative for the Raccoons to reward such heroics with a walkoff in the inning against righty Matt Simmons. Lando, Reyna, and Ramos made outs in order, though. Simmons continued his own heroics with a leadoff walk drawn off Hamill in the 12th (…!), but Jon Ramos, Sepulveda, and Leo Villacorta made outs in order after that and stranded the tie-breaking run. Nettles hit a single in the 12th, but the game continued unabated. By the 14th the Raccoons arrived at Juan Zabala and were almost out of pitchers. Zabala retired 6-7-8 in order in the 14th, including the pitcher in the leadoff spot again, while the Stars continued with Simmons for a fourth inning in the bottom 14th. Trawick led off batting ninth after entering in a double switch with Zabala, with the bench now also empty. He struck out, and Portland went down in order.

One gone in the 15th, Tony Morales threw away Oscar Aguirre’s grounder for two bases, which I figured would be the end of it all and struggled with Maud when she refused to let me kill the lights early. Aguirre stole third and scored on Hugo Acosta’s single, breaking the endless tie. Nettles hit another single in the bottom of the inning, but that was literally all the Raccoons could poke together. Maldonado 2-3; Nettles 3-4, RBI; Moreno 7.0 IP, 6 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 8 K; Jones 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 2 K; Hamill 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 2 K;

The #4 slot went 5-for-7 in this game. Everybody else combined hit a strong 3-for-46.

What a bunch.

Maldonado was listed as day-to-day with a sore back. He would not be in the lineup for the rest of the weekend, but was available to pinch-hit.

Game 2
DAL: SS O. Aguirre – 3B J. Ramos – 2B H. Acosta – C Torreo – RF Calais – 1B Monge – LF Correa – CF Cecil – P Leos
POR: SS Hunter – 2B Trevino – LF Fernandez – C Kilmer – RF Balaski – 1B Levis – CF Nettles – 3B Trawick – P Brown

Of course rain then conspired to become an issue on Saturday with the Raccoons’ pen seriously depleted and Josh Brown pitching to begin with. He held the Stars shut out for three innings, then sat and stared in the dugout for upwards of half an hour during a rain delay. When play resumed, the Stars broke the scoreless affair with another Hugo Acosta triple, leading off, and a Sean Calais groundout in the fourth. The Raccoons answered with a leadoff single by Manny in the bottom 4th, then a Kilmer double up the rightfield line, getting the tying and go-ahead runs into scoring position. Hopes for big offense were dashed when Balaski walked, recreating the dreaded three-on, no-outs scenario to perpetually doom us. Levis fell to 2-2, but instead of striking out then singed a liner up the middle. Kilmer went on contact and I shrieked as Aguirre lunged for the ball, but missed it by mere inches, allowing Levis’ shot into shallow center and Kilmer to score behind Manny to flip the score to 2-1 Portland. Balaski and Levis both reached scoring position. The former scored on Nettles’ groundout, while the latter was dinged in only with two outs by Josh Brown. Hunter’s groundout ended the inning, with Portland up 4-1.

Everything came apart in the sixth inning – at least as far as winning prospects were concerned. The Raccoons needed Brown to go more than six innings, badly, but he barely made it through six after laying a whole clutch of eggs in that inning. Pacio Torreo hit a 1-out single, which was not ideal, but the main issue was the pair of 2-out walks, both in full counts, to ex-Coon Danny Monge and Ricky Correa, then nailing Cecil with a pitch to force a run home. Jose Rivas pinch-hit for Leos, but grounded out to keep the Raccoons up 4-2, but Brown was now tuckered out and we had to find three innings from a depleted bullpen. Bottom 6th, right-hander Daniel Hernandez loaded the bases with two outs, allowing a single to Trawick, a double to the pinch-hitting Maldonado (don’t run too hard on the bases!), and a walk drawn by Hunter. All for the *** - Cosmo grounded out, stranding three.

The Coons then went to Lindstrom by default – he was the only reliever that hadn’t been involved in last night’s 15-inning shambles. Acosta hit a double off him with two outs in the seventh, but was stranded, and the Raccoons broke up Hernandez in the bottom of the inning. Balaski and Levis hit singles, Nettles ripped a 2-run triple, and Trawick singled that run home. Lindstrom remained in the game to bat for himself, taking a K from Josh Winther, then was torn in half in the eighth. With the bases loaded and two outs, Oscar Aguirre drove in three with a double in the gap. Jon Ramos walked, and Acosta hit a double up the rightfield line. Aguirre scored, Ramos was thrown out trying, and only that ended the inning with the 7-2 lead almost reduced to rubble, 7-6. Hamill, who had pitched two innings on Friday, asked for the ball in the ninth and received it, immediately gave up a double to Torreo, who scored on Monge’s single to blow the lead for good. (buries striped face in paws)

The Raccoons did nothing in the bottom 9th, sending the game to extras, for which I cancelled their after-game ox roast out of spite. Not even winning after all, somehow, could reinstate their ox roast!! (angrily throws another glug of Capt’n Coma into his throat) Bah. This lacks oven cleanse! Maud! … Hamill continued to suck in the 10th, allowing a leadoff single to Chris Sandstrom and hitting Aguirre. Ramos popped out, after which Zimmerman replaced the 37th consecutive useless closer on the roster. Acosta hit into a fielder’s choice at second base, and Torreo grounded out to short.

Two scoreless by Alex Ramirez followed, with the Stars holding just as tight. The Raccoons kept filing through the pen trying to find somebody with a pulse. Brent Clark was “it” for the 13th and retired the 3-4-5 in order. The Coons had the top of the lineup for the bottom of the inning against left-hander Chris Myers in his second inning of work. Hunter walked. Cosmo whiffed. Manny forced out Hunter. Kilmer whiffed. Cecil singled off Clark in the 14th, but that was with two gone and Myers struck out afterwards with no bench options remaining for Dallas. Myers returned to the mound for the bottom of the inning, but not for long. His first offering of the inning was belted over the fence by Bill Balaski. 8-7 Raccoons. Fernandez 3-7; Balaski 2-5, 2 BB, HR, RBI; Levis 2-5, BB, 2 RBI; Nettles 3-6, 3B, 3 RBI; Trawick 2-6, 2B, RBI; Maldonado (PH) 1-1; Ramirez 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 2 K; Clark 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 3 K, W (1-2);

After 29 mostly stupid innings in two days, there was understandably not much left of the Raccoons’ pen. There was an off day on Monday for recovery, but before that the baseball gods demanded a rubber game be played on Sunday. The Stars would go with right-handed spot starter Joe Murphy (1-0, 1.71 ERA) for reasons best known to them. The Raccoons had no such option to begin with. Drew Johnson got the ball, obviously, but besides Zabala and Jones there wasn’t much behind him anymore. If things went pear-shaped, we’d have to burn Montano in long relief on short rest. He was in the bullpen to begin the game, which we thought preferable to making a pointless transaction to get a fresh arm up (which would have to come at the expense of a batter, probably Lando).

Game 3
DAL: SS O. Aguirre – LF Correa – 2B H. Acosta – C Torreo – RF Calais – 1B Monge – 3B J. Rivas – CF Cecil – P J. Murphy
POR: 3B A. Ramos – 2B Trevino – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – C Morales – RF Balaski – CF Nettles – 1B Reyna – P Johnson

Johnson knew he wouldn’t get out of the game under 95 pitches, and at least started out efficiently, retiring the first six Stars in order for only 16 pitches. Manny hit a leadoff jack, his 10th of ’41, in the bottom 2nd for a 1-0 lead. Johnson sat down another five Dallas batters before Hugo Acosta singled, then walked Torreo on top of that. Calais popped out to Berto to strand the runners, with Johnson on 40 pitches through four. He then dropped an RBI single bringing in Nettles to extend the lead to 2-0 in the bottom of the inning.

Things went smooth as butter through five before hammer came down. Full-count walks to PH Leo Villacorta and Ricky Correa, Acosta’s game-tying double, and an RBI single by Torreo gave the Stars the lead and also threw all our best laid out pitching plans into the ******* fire. Johnson, now being defeated, was on 82 pitches through six, bunted Miguel Reyna to second base in the bottom 6th (where he was stranded by Berto), then returned with claws and teeth showing and got through the Stars on just eight pitches in the top 7th. Just that one ******* inning, as usual…!! Manny and Morales hit 2-out singles in the bottom 7th, at which point the wasteful Raccoons were out-hitting Dallas 9-3, but Balaski popped out to strand them. Johnson struck out Aguirre to begin the eighth, then was replaced by Jones, who put two aboard and somehow escaped that sticky situation. Zabala held the Rebels at bay in the ninth, and then I had a hunch that the Raccoons might not just simply lose like the suckers they were, but might actually scratch out a run and go to extras AGAIN, but they – what a relief – wouldn’t go beyond a Hunter single in the inning. Manny struck out to end the game and the goddamn week. 3-2 Stars. Hunter 3-5; Fernandez 2-5, HR, RBI; Nettles 2-4, 2B;

In other news

June 3 – The Capitals use five relievers behind SP Shaun Wardwell (5-1, 3.09 ERA) in a combined 1-hitter, 2-1 win over the Rebels. RIC 3B Josh Frazier (.244, 9 HR, 38 RBI) has the lone Richmond entry in the H column with an RBI double that knocks out Wardwell in the sixth inning.
June 4 – NAS 3B/SS Brad Critzer (.256, 3 HR, 28 RBI) would be sidelined for a week with a shoulder strain.
June 5 – Salem CF/RF Armando Herrera (.357, 1 HR, 28 RBI) runs his hitting streak to 25 games with two singles and a crucial run batted in in the Wolves’ 2-1 win over the Stars.
June 5 – Thunder and Bayhawks pack 41 combined base hits into 11 innings, with the former eventually winning 12-11. OCT RF/1B John Marz (.227, 6 HR, 23 RBI) stands out with three base hits and 5 RBI.
June 6 – DAL SP Corey Booth (4-7, 2.79 ERA) shuts out the Wolves on five hits for a 5-0 Dallas win and as bycatch also ends the hitting streak of SAL Armando Herrera (.351, 1 HR, 28 RBI), who goes 0-for-4.
June 6 – TIJ 2B/SS Dylan Ragsdale (.267, 5 HR, 28 RBI) beats the Aces with a solo homer for a 1-0 Condors win.
June 6 – The Capitals break the Rebels’ pitching staff for ten runs in the bottom 8th en route to a 15-5 win.
June 8 – The Canadiens expect to miss 2B Dan Schneller (.356, 9 HR, 39 RBI) for a month. The 33-year-old is out with a strained biceps tendon.
June 8 – The Capitals pick up 1B Mark Cahill (.232, 3 HR, 17 RBI) from the Gold Sox in exchange for a minor leaguer and #32 prospect, infielder Brian Bass. Cahill was the 2039 FL Rookie of the Year, but has yet to replicate that year’s success.
June 9 – LVA SP Israel Mendoza (2-8, 3.93 ERA) will be out until late July with an oblique strain.

FL Player of the Week: TOP RF Troy Greenway (.217, 9 HR, 24 RBI), hitting .417 (10-24) with 4 HR, 7 RBI
CL Player of the Week: OCT RF/1B John Marz (.236, 6 HR, 25 RBI), batting .414 (12-29) with 2 HR, 9 RBI

Complaints and stuff

One of those weeks that can turn you away from baseball and instead let you pick up knitting. (wiggles with his right hindpaw, the only that can still move, as he’s trapped in a couple of Maud’s needles and the contents of a ball of yarn that have slung themselves around the GM)

Will you please stop laughing, Maud? – Thank you.

The Raccoons SHOULD have gained ground this week. They were undone by too many innings. If we had lost more crisply on Friday, we would not have tried to extend Lindstrom beyond his stretchability (or: ability?) on Saturday and MAYBE wouldn’t have blown a 5-run lead. Although the team has a pretty good track record of blowing 5-run leads, so maybe that was just destined to be.

Not going to 0-6 against the Loggers before finally winning a game from them also would have helped.

The Loggers!

We will be out of town next week, traveling to Washington and New York. The Coons would then return home to play the Titans to begin the week after. There was another Loggers set on the schedule this month, too…

Jesus Maldonado started the four games in the Loggers series on four different positions. He will never win a Gold Glove for being to flexible. Except for his back. That back does not appear to be very flexible.

Not so flexible: Nick Lando. The 2035 third-rounder keeps gobbling up at-bats while being a mediocre defensive second baseman and with a career .211/.281/.261 slash line in 161 at-bats. There aren’t many position player in the illustrious back catalogue of sub-standard batters in need of replacement that got even this many at-bats and produced a lower OPS: Cal Lyon tops the list, followed by Tom Ingram, Daniel Rocha, Yoshi Yamada (hah!), Matt Triolo, Bob Wood, Ryan Miller, Damian Salazar, Victor Castillo, and Jose Gutierrez. Over half the list is within either 20 points of OPS or some 20 at-bats, or both, of Lando.

Fun Fact: Tony Hunter is third in OBP in the Continental League with a .441 mark, trailing the pair of damn Elks Dan Schneller and Jerry Outram.

Hunter never posted an OBP higher than .351 (2039) before, so we’re tempted to find out how this will turn out. He’s hitting .295, 39 points over his career average, and while his .318 BABIP is above average, it’s not *outlandish*. Maybe his eyes suddenly sharpened up at 28? He has drawn 54 walks so far this season, after drawing 69 walks all of last year and 64 the year before. He has just over half of the plate appearance compared to either of those two years right now.

Both of the damn Elks’ terrors might be on the DL by the time we see them – Schneller is already out, and we hear that Outram has a bum elbow right now…

[Westheim]

I keep having absolutely ****** internet here. It’s gone for hours at a time, every day, for two weeks now. No connection, nada. This was played on Saturday, but I couldn’t get it up on the forums.

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Raccoons (34-28) @ Capitals (31-32) – June 11-13, 2041

Last year’s meeting with the Caps hadn’t gone so well, ending with the Raccoons getting swept. It would be advised to the furry bunch to not repeat that feat, given that somehow the band of misfits was still in the hunt for the division. Washington meanwhile sat ninth in runs scored and fifth in runs allowed in the Federal League with a -8 run differential. The Coons’ was -9, a slightly negative slant they were not able to shake.

Projected matchups:
Bernie Chavez (5-5, 4.98 ERA) vs. Josh Long (7-3, 3.02 ERA)
Nelson Moreno (5-3, 3.65 ERA) vs. George Drob (2-2, 6.75 ERA)
Josh Brown (6-1, 2.89 ERA) vs. Bryce Sparkes (3-8, 3.62 ERA)

Another set of only right-handed pitchers! Not included in their rotation was a certain Raffaello Sabre, who had been banished to the bullpen with a 1-6 record and 7.71 ERA.

Game 1
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – C Morales – 1B Levis – RF Balaski – CF Nettles – P Chavez
WAS: CF T. Romero – 2B Arnold – C N. Evans – 1B Cahill – RF E. Avila – 3B Falzone – LF Dunlap – SS E. Williams – P J. Long

Two innings into the game, the Capitals had two runs on the board and also two injury replacements going. Bill Balaski’s fly to deep left had been caught by Tom Dunlap in the top of the second, but he had also grabbed a hammy and had been replaced by Ed Thompson. And Bernie Chavez served up a lazy fastball that Josh Long hit for a 2-out, 2-run double in the bottom of the inning, but he strained an abdominal muscle sliding into second base and was ruled out of further proceedings. Right-hander Ricardo Patino took over, while the Raccoons just continued to collapse. Tony Hunter hit into an inning-ending double play in the top 3rd, then ****** up a grounder by Eduardo Avila in the bottom of the inning for an error that inspired Chavez to give up unearned runs on hits by Rich Falzone and Thompson. Ex-Coon Elijah Williams popped out to strand them on the corners, but the Caps had beaten eight hits out of Bernie Chavez in just three innings. Patino would single off him in the fourth after having gotten another inning-ending double play out of Doug Levis in the top of the inning.

Bernie Chavez lasted 5.2 innings before being knocked out on a Nate Evans RBI single in the bottom 6th. At that point, another run didn’t matter. The Raccoons were stuck on three hits and had yet to touch third base in any form in the game. All the add-on damage was purely cosmetic on Bernie’s ERA… and Tim Zimmerman’s, who would not stand back in a badly pitched game and gave up another run each in the seventh and eighth innings, the latter when Tony Romero took him well deep to left leading off the inning. The Raccoons remained stuck on three hits until the ninth when Levis and Balaski hit back-to-back singles… and Stephon Nettles hit into one final double play to end the charade. 7-0 Capitals. Ramos 1-1, 3 BB; Levis 2-4;

Game 2
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – C Morales – 1B Maldonado – 2B Trevino – RF Balaski – CF Nettles – P Moreno
WAS: CF T. Romero – 2B Arnold – C N. Evans – 1B Cahill – LF E. Avila – 3B Falzone – RF Levy – SS E. Williams – P Drob

In one of the weirder beginnings to a baseball game – even with the Raccoons involved – Portland took a 1-0 lead on a Maldonado jack in the second inning, while Moreno had an “interesting” first time through the order, allowing five hits, two of them of the infield variety, with two runners being caught stealing by Morales, and yet still wound up 2-1 behind on Rich Falzone’s 2-piece far over the leftfield wall. Singles by Nettles and Hunter around two productive outs in between got the game back tied in the third inning at least…

Then the inability to get strike three tore Moreno in half in the fifth inning. He went to two strikes on everybody in the inning. He struck out precisely nobody and yielded singles to Chris Levy and Williams instead, plus a 3-run homer mashed by Logan Arnold. Falzone hit another solo blast off him in the sixth to conclude his utterly miserable day in the office, down 6-2. The rest of the team was just as miserable, with the notable exception of Maldonado, finally back in the lineup. By the sixth inning he was 3-for-3 and a triple shy of the cycle, even though the rest of the team couldn’t make fire with dynamite and matches through six innings. They developed at least a hunch of a chance in the seventh with Balaski leading off with a single and Nettles dropping a double into right. Doug Levis’ pinch-hit sac fly and Berto’s RBI single erased half the gap, but then the pursuit died down for the inning. Lindstrom held the Caps where they were, and then Tony Morales hit a leadoff jack in the eighth to narrow the gap to 6-5. Here came Maldonado, needing a triple, but grounded out. The rest of the team, needing something, anything, got a 1-out single from Berto against Roland Warner in the ninth inning. Tony Hunter had been replaced in a double switch; Jeff Kilmer batted in his spot, grounded to short, and another game ended in defeat with ANOTHER double play. 6-5 Capitals. Ramos 3-5, RBI; Maldonado 3-4, HR, 2B, RBI; Balaski 2-4; Nettles 2-4, 2B;

Game 3
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – C Morales – CF Maldonado – 1B Levis – RF Balaski – 2B Lando – P Brown
WAS: CF T. Romero – 2B Arnold – C N. Evans – 1B Cahill – LF E. Avila – 3B Falzone – RF Levy – SS Majano – P Sparkes

Bryce Sparkes was 3-8, so maybe his rotten luck could stave off the sweep? Berto and Hunter landed singles and somebody found a run with a sac fly in the first, so at least we had the early lead. With the early lead it went exactly as well as the day before. Josh Brown allowed a hit to Arnold, then hit Mark Cahill, and gave up a 2-run double on two strikes to Avila. Deficit! Defeat! Great job, boys.

Portland went up 3-2 with Berto and Hunter reaching base again, then a throwing error by Evans in the third inning. It scored Ramos right away, while Hunter came in on Morales’ groundout. Interestingly enough, at this stage both teams had more runs than hits, Portland being up 3-2 in runs and 2-1 in knocks. Maldonado hit a single in the fourth to remove the distinction, before the Caps tied the game in the bottom half of the inning when Cahill reached with one out when Levis fell over a baseball for an error. A wild pitch moved the runner to second before Avila legged out an infield single. Falzone hit a game-tying groundout. They took the lead the following inning on Sparkes’ leadoff single (…) and Arnold’s monster blast to left. Balaski and Reyna reached the corners in the seventh, with Berto’s sac fly briefly narrowing the score to 5-4 before Juan Zabala entered the bottom 7th and was obliterated. He faced five Capitals, retired none of them, and was yanked after walking in a run against PH Greg Regan and a 2-run double by Falzone. Zimmerman replaced him, allowed another run on a Chris Lewy single, and somehow the Caps then made three outs without getting Falzone in. They had still put the game away with a 4-spot.

Or had they? The Coons had the tying run in the box in the eighth as Bryce Sparkes was also annihilated in a serial assault by Manny, Morales, Maldo, and Levis, the latter hitting a 2-run double. Another ex-Coon replaced him, Dusty Kulp, and wholly un-Kulp-like retired Balaski, Lando, and Kilmer in order to end the inning. In the ninth against Warner, the Coons went 1-2-3. 9-7 Capitals. Ramos 2-3, BB, RBI; Maldonado 2-4, 2B, RBI; Reyna (PH) 1-1;

And that was the Raccoons’ playoff ambition. The Loggers and damn Elks won all but one of their games while we were drowned in a barrel by the Capitals, dropping the Raccoons to third place, six games out, and within reach of the Crusaders. Speaking of which…

Raccoons (34-31) @ Crusaders (33-33) – June 14-16, 2041

The Crusaders could reach third place as early as Saturday, which was also Draft Day. Cruel scheduling meant that I could not even excuse myself away for one miserable game to observe the draft process since League HQ was *in* ******* New York and the draft was in the afternoon, well ahead of the scheduled night game. Oh woe is me!

New York had won three in a row (envy…) and had a +4 run differential, sitting seventh in runs scored and fifth in runs allowed. The season series was tied at two.

Projected matchups:
Drew Johnson (3-6, 3.65 ERA) vs. Todd Lush (5-7, 4.36 ERA)
Angelo Montano (1-3, 3.68 ERA) vs. Aaron Hickey (3-3, 2.77 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (5-6, 4.97 ERA) vs. Ernesto Lujan (4-4, 4.86 ERA)

Left-handers DO exist! Proof was Todd Lush, the first southpaw the Raccoons would see in about two weeks.

Game 1
POR: SS Hunter – CF Maldonado – RF Fernandez – C Kilmer – 1B Levis – 3B Trevino – 2B Lando – LF Trawick – P Johnson
NYC: SS Adame – CF Graf – LF Besaw – C Alba – 2B Briones – RF Platero – 1B Rudd – 3B Sifuentes – P Lush

The Coons opened the game by scoring first, which was not something that was becoming them well recently: Tony Hunter tripled to begin the affair, with Maldonado doubling him in immediately. Manny hit a soft single, putting them on the corners, while Kilmer whiffed and Levis walked. Cosmo singled in a pair with a dropper in shallow center, far enough away from Joe Graf, 3-0, while Lando struck out and Trawick flew out to Graf, stranding two runners, and Graf continued to feature in the box score, hitting a solo jack off Drew Johnson in the same inning. The Coons’ offense died down soon enough with a dearth of hits going forwards. Levis drew a walk in the third and went nowhere. Lando drew a walk in the fourth and didn’t even get to stay on, picked off by Lush.

Next to die was the Coons’ lead, with New York taking a 4-3 lead in the fifth. They got their first three hitters on base with a pair of leadoff walks to Jose Platero and Tom Rudd, then a bloop single by Ramon Sifuentes in shallow right that somehow became two bases and a run. Lush struck out, Alex Adame popped out, and Joe Graf was apparently the villain of the week and clubbed in both runners with a 2-out single. Joe Besaw then lined out to Hunter. Platero added a homer for good measure in the sixth, 5-3. Maldonado hit a double in the seventh, but was stranded, then couldn’t reach another Graf looper that dinked in for a 2-out RBI single, plating Sifuentes against Lindstrom. It didn’t really matter who pitched or fielded when or where – they were all ******* ****. Add to that the double plays – Levis celebrated Kilmer’s leadoff walk in the eighth by hitting into another one of those. Juan Zabala then had his second outing in a row of retiring nobody, this time facing four batters for two walks and two hits, and two runs before removal. Brent Clark replaced him, gave up the remaining runners, plus two of his own on booming extra-base liners by Justin LeClerc and Adame, who injured himself on the bases. The rout was completed in style; Lando hit a leadoff single in the ninth. And Bill Balaski hit into a double play to end the game. 12-3 Crusaders. Hunter 2-4, 3B; Maldonado 2-4, 2 2B, RBI;

(sits and stares, motionless)

Game 2
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – C Morales – CF Maldonado – 1B Levis – 2B Trevino – RF Reyna – P Montano
NYC: SS Miles – CF Graf – 2B Briones – LF Besaw – 3B Sifuentes – RF Platero – C D. Phillips – 1B Rudd – P Hickey

When Reyna singled home Maldo in the second inning, the Raccoons drew first blood for the fourth straight day, and it had yet to net them a W. Maldo had singled and stolen second in that inning, then scored again in the fourth, landing a double and getting around on a wild pitch and Cosmo’s groundout to make it 2-0 for Angelo Montano, who had allowed only one runner the first time through the Crusaders’ order… and on his own throwing error… AND it had been the opposing pitcher. (shrugs) Madness does as madness wants, I guess.

Graf and Briones then opened the bottom 4th with a pair of singles, at which point I went to call Maud in Portland to put out a sign reading “Players 4 Sale! VALUE DEALS!!” – and exactly like that!! Nevertheless, Joe Besaw popped out and Sifuentes hit into a double play, with the inevitable explosion thus delayed to a later point. The Raccoons then found doom in the fifth, loading the bases with singles by Montano and Berto, a Hunter walk – and nobody out. Manny Fernandez flew out to Graf in shallow center, and too shallow to send the pitcher. But Tony Morales came through, banging a ball off the fence in right for a bases-clearing double, 5-0! After Tony was stranded, the bottom the inning had the Crusaders with their own three-on, no-outs situation on three singles before PH Rich Salek struck out, Tyler Miles struck out, and Graf… remained a pest and walked in a run. Briones then grounded out to short, stranding three in a 5-1 game.

Dazzlingly, those were the last runners against Montano, who went seven and a third on 104 pitches, ending with a groundout of Graf to open the eighth, the last left-handed batter Montano could hope to see. The Raccoons went to Alex Ramirez in a double switch and he got them two outs to close the eighth. Sifuentes hit a leadoff single against him in the bottom 9th, but Platero and Devin Phillips made outs. With Tom Rudd up, the Coons went to Chuck Jones. His strikeout ended the game. 5-1 Critters. Ramos 2-4, 2B; Maldonado 3-4, 2B; Montano 7.1 IP, 6 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 3 K, W (2-3) and 1-3;

Baseball, huh?

Game 3
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Kilmer – 1B Levis – 2B Trevino – RF Balaski – P Chavez
NYC: SS Adame – CF Graf – LF Besaw – C Alba – 2B Briones – 1B Rudd – RF Salek – 3B Sifuentes – P Lujan

Bernie Chavez decided playing from the front was not the be-all, end-all, so he got wobbled around for three hits and two runs after an initial error by Berto to put Alex Adame on base. The comparison between those two was ridiculous. One slim, tender, fresh-faced, the other having rolled to a stop vaguely near third base, scratching his bum between pitches, and old enough to be the biological parent of the former. The future was maybe not necessarily Adame’s (although he was ******* 19 and hitting .320 with 20 steals), but certainly not Berto’s.

Adame made and error in the fourth that put the tying run (Kilmer) on base in addition to Manny Fernandez, but there was no reason to worry about the Crusaders here. Doug Levis came to the rescue and hit into a 6-4-3 double play, perfectly placed for any sort of shortstop. This one ended the inning, and also my will to live.

While he leaked a steady stream of runners, Bernie Chavez made it through five innings without any further accidents, after which the Raccoons actually got another scoring opportunity. Berto singled to lead off the sixth, and while Hunter popped out, Manny whacked a double over Joe Besaw to put the tying runs in scoring position with one out and in a challenging spot for a double play (not to say it was impossible…); Maldonado’s drive to deep center was snared by Joe Graf, the budding pest, but good for a sac fly. Kilmer then whiffed to leave Manny on third base. Cosmo hit a double in the seventh and was stranded with poor groundouts by Balaski and Nettles, the latter hitting for Bernie Chavez. Alex Ramirez instead kept the Crusaders where they were, and Berto, old and fat but far from useless, snapped another leadoff single in the eighth. Lujan now plonked Tony Hunter with a baseball, moving the tying run into scoring position. Manny flew out to center, Maldo popped out, and Kilmer singled, but Berto had to be held on third base. Three on, two outs for Levis sounded like a bad deal even before right-hander Mike Gutierrez replaced Lujan. Levis grounded out to short, again, stranding everybody and their mother in the process. Ex-Coon Josh Livingston was put in charge in the ninth inning. Cosmo flew out to Graf. Balaski fanned. And Tony Morales hit for Brent Clark and ended the game with a single to leftfield… and being thrown out at second base. 2-1 Crusaders. Ramos 3-4; Fernandez 2-3, BB, 2B; Chavez 6.0 IP, 7 H, 2 R, 0 ER, 0 BB, 5 K, L (5-7);

(breathes into paper bag all the way to the airport)

In other news

June 10 – VAN OF Jerry Outram (.355, 12 HR, 40 RBI) will miss two weeks with an elbow sprain.
June 10 – Aces C/1B Ken Wiersma (.324, 2 HR, 24 RBI) drives in six runs on four hits in a 14-3 smashing of the Gold Sox.
June 12 – More injuries in Vancouver: SP Matt Sealock (9-3, 3.22 ERA) will be shut down for a month with a flexor-pronator strain.
June 12 – BOS OF/2B Moises Avila (.281, 4 HR, 28 RBI) is going to be out for a month with an abdominal strain.
June 12 – Pittsburgh RF/LF Manny del Toro (.359, 1 HR, 12 RBI) hits his first home run of the year in style, a walkoff grand slam off Atlanta’s CL Rico Sanchez (2-3, 5.20 ERA, 12 SV) that gives the Miners an 8-4 win.
June 13 – TOP 1B/LF Ed Haertling (.277, 5 HR, 17 RBI) singles in RF Jorge Quintanilla (.278, 2 HR, 9 RBI) with the bases loaded in the 10th for the only run in the Buffos’ 1-0 victory over the Blue Sox.
June 14 – Falcons SP Jose de Lucio (7-6, 3.28 ERA) 3-hits the Condors in a 1-0 shutout. De Lucio strikes out eight in the feat.
June 14 – Orlando Leos (4-6, 4.65 ERA) and two Dallas relievers pitch a combined 1-hitter against the Scorpions. Only RF/LF/1B Carlos Cortes (.276, 9 HR, 53 RBI) reaches base by a batted ball for Sacramento, who go under 5-0. Leos whiffs ten batters in seven innings.

FL Player of the Week: SFW C Ethan McCullar (.278, 12 HR, 57 RBI), hitting .476 (10-21) with 3 HR, 8 RBI
CL Player of the Week: BOS CF Mark Vermillion (.247, 3 HR, 27 RBI), batting .481 (13-27) with 3 HR, 11 RBI

Complaints and stuff

The noise you just heard were our chances getting splattered all over the windscreen of a car plastered with “REALITY” stickers and travelling at 130 miles per hour.

While this week was an absolute riot there might be a bright spot. When Scout Guy returned from Venezuela for the draft he had something in tow, a 16-year-old Venezuelan outfielder named Netuno Torres. Now, he had a weird makeup; wide range with clumsy paws, good eye and contact, but no power whatsoever (rated a 12/1/18 potential). He was still the best thing the cat had dragged in as far as scouting discoveries were concerned in the last few years, so I wasn’t too mad. Maybe a hearty Portland diet would get some power on the boy’s bones – apparently the new technocratic government in Venezuela was too much concerned with quantum research and not enough with giving people to eat.

In terms of foreign talent, Rikuto Ito is murdering AAA pitching, so maybe a return is coming up for him. I don’t know which of the three terrible left-handed hitting outfielders currently on the roster lightning will strike, and I also don’t know whether I care about the difference between them.

I also kinda want to see more of Art Goetz, who has turned 26 by now, but is also hitting .314/.460/.557 in St. Pete, with 12 homers in 55 games. That won’t translate to here, and there’s also a certain problem child at first base we’d have to get rid of first.

I reached out and some teams would take on that problem child, but only if they can dump a similarly misfit player in return. We might just take up the Arrowheads on their ludicrous offer for Eric Peck (2-1, 4.91 ERA). The 32-year-old southpaw was shifted to the pen permanently this year, but was a starter for the Aces for a long time. Problem is, he gets paid $2.64M per year through 2042, and that is a millstone I don’t want around my neck just to see more of a 26-year-old first-sacker having a good half-season with the Alley Cats.

Fun Fact: The Loggers have the fourth-worst rotation by ERA in the Continental League, and yet have the best record in baseball.

Baseball makes no sense and at times is exceedingly cruel and shouldn’t be watched or read about by small children.

Meanwhile we have a bullpen with an ERA pushing five, which apparently negates our first place in stolen bases in the league, fully and wholly.

[Westheim]

The draft was also done yesterday, alas, ...

I am a sad little raccoon right now.

+++

2041 AMATEUR DRAFT

With the Raccoons on a roll (down the hill, in case you weren’t sure) they got to throw themselves onto the annual first-year player draft, armed with some solid picks. We had the #12 pick, the #17 pick, and altogether five picks in the top 60, which was far from shabby… but the draft pool was kinda shabby. There were quite a few yeah-well pitchers, and the batting side was even worse than that. Even the annual hotlist was pathetically short (*denotes high school player):

SP Rich Knowles (11/12/13) * - BNN #3
SP Eric Kruse (12/12/14)
SP Bubba Wolinsky (10/14/14) *
SP Charlie Hudson (11/15/8)

C Sean Suggs (12/17/9) * - BNN #4

1B Chris Schrock (11/13/13) * - BNN #8
INF/LF/CF Eric Miller (11/13/8) – BNN #1
INF Andrew Russ (11/3/12) – BNN #2

Sean Suggs was perhaps somebody that I’d like to dabble with, so-so defense be damned. Thankfully, we didn’t have to antagonize about our chances for very long – Suggs was taken at #2 by the Bayhawks, after Andrew Russ, whom the Indians took at #1. After that it was Eric Kruse to the Pacifics. The Gold Sox had the #4 pick and another hotlist selection with Eric Miller. The Condors were the first team to not take a hotlist player, selecting pitcher Kevin Daley.

The Falcons selected Chris Schrock at #9, which emptied the batting side of the hotlist, but also meant that one of the pitchers would fall to the Raccoons after all. It wasn’t Charlie Hudson, who the Crusaders snatched at #10. The Stars picked Jake Ferguson, another pitcher, at #11, leaving the Raccoons with the choice between Rich Knowles and Bubba Wolinsky, two high school pitchers. We ended up picking the left-hander – which was Wolinsky. Knowles had slightly better stats in high school except for BB/9, but Wolinsky also came OSA-endorsed, despite Knowles being the one ranked by BNN in their top 10 selections. Make no mistake – it was a narrow decision. But a left-hander with very good control, a wide pitch selection, and good composure was something everybody wants in their rotation.

Rich Knowles ended up with the Miners at #15, at that point closing the hotlist rather briskly. We settled for a steady second-sacker for our second pick, then went back to a dicey selection with the first of our pair of supplemental round choices. There was another high school hurler in the draft that had great numbers and looked like quite the beast in competition… but he only threw two good pitches. If it worked out (and the days of the Scott Wades were over in the league) and he found his third pitch he might be a steal, but he also might end up pitching seventh innings on the losing side for a fourth-place team down the road…

+++

2041 PORTLAND RACCOONS DRAFT CLASS

Round 1 (#12) – SP Bubba Wolinsky, 18, from Odessa, TX – left-hander with very good control at this stage, mix of five pitches, and 90mph fastball. Fine potential for a control/groundball type starter, and there are worse things to have.
Round 1 (#17) – 2B John Castner, 20, from Bristol, VA – sturdy contact bat and a good battle for a pitcher, hard to strike out; not much in terms of power, but he fields well and runs quite good, too. Kind of the type of player that might bat second if things turn out really well.
Supp. Round (#29) – SP Adam Bates, 18, from Riviera Beach, MD – right-hander throwing 93, plus a vicious forkball, but only a crippled changeup for a third pitch. It was really a shame because apart from that there was much to like about him. Good movement, fine control, sufficient stamina… but only two pitches and a half, if we’re generous.
Supp. Round (#42) – CL Sean Marucci, 21, from New York, NY – grew up in spitting distance from League HQ, throws 97mph from the right side, swooping curve… and has deficient control.
Round 2 (#60) – RF Brian Shedd, 18, from Boston, MA – the usual power lottery ticket; power is promised, if he can hit the ball at all… wonky defense, probably better suited in leftfield, where his target would be nearer…
Round 3 (#84) – INF/RF Adam Byrnes, 18, from Cape Girardeau, MO – solid contact bat, some power, but nothing to get giddy about. Has wide infield range and a strong arm, but fumbles quite a few baseballs.
Round 4 (#108) – CL Alejandro Padilla, 20, from Elk Grove, CA – right-hander with a 90mph fastball and scooping curve that you have to be brave to hit … it could come for your eyeballs.
Round 5 (#132) – SS/3B Jonathan Jackson, 17, from Los Angeles, CA – the obligatory strong defensive shortstop with token hitting abilites; singles bat with a lack of patience, but runs fairly well, too.
Round 6 (#156) – SP Eric Tracy, 19, from Ewa Villages, HI – another right-hander with basically just two pitches. 92mph heater with a slider and a tendency to be taken to the next island over.
Round 7 (#180) – SS/3B Ben Coen, 20, from Columbus, OH – here’s another one of those defensive-minded shortstops, although his range was not that great and he would be better suited for third base. The bat was what a bat in the seventh round usually is, lackluster.
Round 8 (#204) – OF Ben Finegold, 22, from Los Angeles, CA – all you could wish for in a centerfielder! Defense! Speed! …as long as somebody else would take his at-bats.
Round 9 (#228) – CL Joe Fishkin, 21, from Bangor, ME – left-hander with a neat slider and a nothing-special 90mph cutter that usually ended up behind the nearest river.
Round 10 (#252) – C Mark Curts, 18, from Los Angeles, CA – clumsy backstop, giving his best; the same is true at the plate, where he doesn’t add up to more than singles, strikeouts, and 6-4-3 soulkillers.
Round 11 (#276) – SP Bill Goforth, 20, from Skokie, IL – this year’s Nick Brown Memorial pick has a 89mph fastball, a curve, a nothing changeup, and a lot of boldness to face hitters with that package.
Round 12 (#300) – LF Bryan Hardy, 17, from Escondido, CA – there really is not a lot to see here, not even much of an athlete. Immobile, not even poster boy looks, and the way he hacks at the plate he’s probably legally blind.
Round 13 (#324) – SP Brian Willard, 18, from Paradise, NV – right-hander throws all of 86mph. And manages to miss the target with that.

+++

All picks were assigned to single-A Aumsville.

Room had to be made in the system, because there was only so much mal money we could afford. The most prominent player to get the axe was 33-year-old Ian Wilson, who had been on the Opening Day roster before disappearing with more than 9 BB/9. He also put up more than 9 BB/9 in St. Petersburg and the Raccoons were not going to bother much longer with a “non-prospect”. Also gone, with 60 walks to 32 strikeouts in AAA was 32-year-old Ernesto Rivera, who had made two appearances for the 2039 Critters for a 67.50 ERA.

Other players sent home included in AA: left-hander Jason Martin (2037, 10th round), catcher Bobby Komoroski (2035, 7th round), and a couple more that were picked up as minor league free agents and never turned it around here either…

And from Aumsville: left-hander Travis Herr (2038, 11th round), catcher Troy Hall (2040, 13th round), defensive middle infielder Marshall Otte (2039, 6th round), infielder Harrison Szot (2039, 9th round), corner outfielder Ben Bandy (2038, 9th round);

[Questdog]

Bubba Wolinksy is a name I can rally 'round!

[Westheim]

Raccoons (35-33) vs. Titans (30-37) – June 17-19, 2041

The careening Raccoons traipsed home just for a 3-game set with Boston, who sat fifth in the North. They were second from the bottom in runs scored, at the very bottom in runs allowed, and yet still were ahead of the Raccoons this year, leading the season series 4-2. The Titans, unsurprisingly, remained – by a large margin! – the Continental League the Raccoons all-time had done the worst against. It didn’t matter how bad they were – they always found a way to whoop the Critters…!

Projected matchups:
Nelson Moreno (5-4, 4.02 ERA) vs. Eunice Suyumov (1-2, 5.89 ERA)
Josh Brown (6-2, 3.10 ERA) vs. Philip Wise (5-4, 5.66 ERA)
Drew Johnson (3-7, 3.90 ERA) vs. Rich Willett (5-2, 2.49 ERA)

The Titans had three lefties in the rotation, and somehow the Raccoons found a way to dance around two of them even then. Only Suyumov would encounter them with the left arm.

Boston had a flurry of injuries, too, missing almost an entire lineup full of major leaguers: Moises Avila, Jimmy Wallace, Antonio Gil – all out. Chris Joseph, too, as was Orlando Nieblas, and Juan Rodriguez … and Willie Vega felt queasy too as the week began.

Game 1
BOS: 3B Rangel – LF Rodela – CF Vermillion – 1B A. Zacarias – RF Beard – C Guadalupe – 2B Toney – SS Santillan – P Suyumov
POR: SS Hunter – CF Maldonado – LF Fernandez – C Kilmer – 1B Levis – 3B Trevino – 2B Lando – RF Reyna – P Moreno

The people that nobody knew ravaged Moreno for four runs in the opening inning, with Mark Vermillion and Mario Guadalupe both hitting 2-run jacks, one to right and one to left. That was basically the entire game. Moreno lingered into the fifth before getting knocked out with doubles by Jose Santillan and Suyumov (…), plus an RBI single by Ruben Rangel, all with nobody out. That made it a 6-1 game, and even the run scored by the rancid Raccoons had been a Titans run, their pitcher balking with Maldonado accidentally standing on third base. If a game ever loudly announced the end of contention with the loud bang of a door slamming shut, it was this breezy, moist Monday night in the middle of June, once again, completely defaced and humiliated by a Titans team that ranked at the bottom of everything, that had lost a bushel of major league hitters, and that still found a way to **** up the best the Raccoons could offer.

The Raccoons put Maldonado and Fernandez on the corners with one out in the bottom 5th. Kilmer struck out. Levis grounded out to Ruben Rangel. Instead, two runs fell out of Zabala in the seventh, a.k.a. a normal day at the office for a ****** pitcher. Maldonado and Kilmer each drove in a run to mildly taint Suyumov’s line in the same inning, not that anybody gave a **** about that anymore, given that they still remained down by a pawful. Even the weather and the umps had a field day, with the former letting it rain quite a bit in the eighth inning and the latter deciding to sit out an hourlong rain delay in an 8-3 bum rush. It only got better in the ninth, when Wyatt Hamill pitched a perfect ninth in a 5-run loss, because he had to pitch at SOME point and it wasn’t like the team was going to not lose another 93 games straight after this one, so what would we possibly save him up for? In the bottom of the inning, Nettles and Hunter had somehow wandered on base against Aaron Howell. With one out, Maldonado grounded at Mike Toney, who tried to turn two, but threw poorly and led Jose Santillan to fall onto the sliding Hunter, knocking him in the head, groin, knee, and shoulder all at once with various flailing body parts of his. Then Maldonado was picked off first, just when I thought he was the likable one. 8-3 Titans. Maldonado 2-4, 2B; Fernandez 2-4, 2B, RBI; Kilmer 2-4, RBI; Reyna 2-4;

No news on Hunter by Tuesday, except that he says that EVERYTHING hurts. That is not a good sign.

But, eh. Sometimes things are just that, broken. I think my resolve is, too.

Game 2
BOS: LF Liceaga – 1B A. Zacarias – CF Vermillion – 2B M. Hurtado – C Guadalupe – 3B Rangel – SS Toney – RF Beard – P P. Wise
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Morales – 1B Levis – RF Balaski – SS Trawick – P Brown

The Boston Unknowns took the lead with a Kyle Beard homer in the second inning on Tuesday. They had stranded two in the first, stranded another runner in the third, and went up 2-0 with another shot by Guadalupe in the fourth. I should also take more shots, either in terms of Capt’n Coma, or with the blunderbuss into my snout. The Raccoons had all of a Bill Balaski single in their first run through the lineup, upped that to two singles (Maldo, Morales) the second time through, and yet persistently didn’t score at all through five innings. Berto drew a leadoff walk in the bottom 6th, then reached third base on a Fernandez single, technically putting the go-ahead run in the box, but by now I was entirely too cynical to believe in any form of comeback or salvation. Maldonado struck an RBI single to right. Tony Morales ripped a 2-run double off the fence, also in right, giving the Coons the lead, 3-2. Oh, so what, Slappy? They’ll find another ****** way to lose! (throws empty Capt’n Coma bottle against the wall, where it shatters into a thousand bits) … No, Slappy, you don’t have to clean that up. Cristiano can do that.

Balaski hit a ball to I-405 to extend the lead to 5-2 in the same inning, with Brown returning for the seventh on 83 pitches. He allowed a single to Kyle Beard, but then got through the inning unharmed, meaning blowing the lead to bits would be left to the bullpen today. Good! I’m always for variety! Can’t have the starting pitchers blow every game to ******* hell! Alex Ramirez retired Boston in due order in the eighth, so perhaps it would be on Hamill to explode after being used pointlessly in Monday’s dousing loss. Hamill began the ninth by hitting Guadalupe – AND HERE WE GO!! It’s always … It’s always SOMETHING!! Guadalupe then took off for second, Morales threw the ball away, and the catcher reached third base. Rangel struck out, but Toney clipped a single, 5-3. Beard grounded out. Ernesto Huichapa popped out. Wait, what? Why are they all walking to the dugout? Did we win? Did we ACTUALLY win a ballgame?? 5-3 Coons. Maldonado 2-4, RBI; Morales 2-4, 2B, 2 RBI; Balaski 2-3, HR, 2 RBI; Brown 7.0 IP, 4 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 7 K, W (7-2);

I’m sure they will make up for this by losing the rubber game, badly.

We also have two second basemen now hitting under .100 for their last so-and-so at-bats. Nick Lando is 2-for-21. Worse yet, Cosmo Trevino is 4-for-43. In AAA, Jose Brito was hitting .225; Arturo Carreno wasn’t even breaking .200 and had just returned from a stint in Ham Lake…

By Wednesday, the Raccoons had to send Tony Hunter to the DL with a strained hammy though, which would take him out until the All Star Game, so there went the season for the umpteenth time. The Raccoons sighed and shrugged, then called up an old favorite – Steve Nickas, the career .204/.332/.247 hitter we were all longing for. At least he could play D.

Game 3
BOS: LF Liceaga – 1B A. Zacarias – CF Vermillion – RF Beard – 2B M. Hurtado – 3B Rangel – C Guadalupe – SS Santillan – P Willett
POR: 3B Ramos – RF Balaski – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Morales – 1B Levis – 2B Lando – SS Nickas – P Johnson

Neither team got a base hit until Alex Zacarias singled off Johnson to begin the fourth inning. He immediately walked Vermillion, too, and the Titans were on the corners after Beard hit a grounder to Lando for a force at second base. Crucially, Mario Hurtado struck out, allowing Johnson to escape unharmed when Rangel flew out to Maldonado. Rich Willett meanwhile didn’t even allow any base runner until he arrived at Doug Levis in the fifth inning and allowed a 2-out walk. Next went the no-hitter, Nick Lando legging out an infield single to make it to first base. And then Nickas popped out to strand them both, because Nickas was Nickas, and nobody oughta be surprised.

Both teams had two singles in the sixth inning. While the Titans stopped there, the Raccoons added a Manny Fernandez walk to fill the bags with one out, adding to Johnson (!) and Balaski on the more advanced sacks. Willett also lost Maldo on balls, forcing in the game’s first run. Then Morales had to hit away at a borderline 3-2 and hit straight into a double play to kill the inning. Johnson lasted seven without giving up a run, after which the Raccoons bullpen had to get involved. Chuck Jones and Tim Zimmerman got through the top of the order with no more than a walk drawn by Zacarias in the eighth, while we preserved Lindstrom for the ninth, Hamill now being unavailable. Hurtado flew out to right, but Rangel walked, putting the tying run on base. Guadalupe singled up the middle on a 1-2 pitch, putting the tying run on third base. I sighed. Jose Santillan singled up the middle, putting the tying run in the dugout and the go-ahead run on third base. I drank, silently. Lindstrom then uncorked a wild pitch to score said go-ahead run, walked Alejandro Rodela, and was then told to go somewhere dank and hide under a blanket to hide his shame. Brent Clark inherited a bust of a game, had Santillan get caught stealing third base, then decided that pitching with two runners on was more fun and nailed Danny Liceaga, then walked the right-handed Zacarias. Lorenzo Celaya, was next, hitting all of .136 after a steep fall from grace. He hit a 2-run single, and the mud slide only stopped when Zacarias ran into an out at third base.

And yet it got worse in the bottom 9th, because of conundrum time. The Raccoons got Morales on base with a 2-out double, then had Gilberto Castillo nick Reyna, hitting for a decidedly unclutch Doug Levis. That brought up Lando. Oh, the urge to pinch-hit for Nick Lando…!! But, yet, we could not. He was not the winning run. And we had only two bats remaining, Kilmer and Nettles, and those would have to hit for Nickas and Clark if the inning dragged on. We ran the math, and Lando had more major league hits than the other two combined in this decade… He also grounded out to Zacarias, but what the **** do we know about baseball? 4-1 Titans. Johnson 7.0 IP, 4 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 5 K and 1-2;

If you carved me, fully conscious, up right now for my bacon, I would feel nothing.

I’m so dead inside.

Raccoons (36-35) @ Bayhawks (32-39) – June 21-23, 2041

The Raccoons couldn’t beat the bewilderingly bad Bostonians, so I had no expectation playing San Francisco, who were fourth in runs scored and at the bottom in runs allowed. Their run differential was -21, which was actually better than the stinkin’ Critters (-31). The Raccoons had swept the Baybirds the first time up this year, but that had been in the distant land of April, and April had long been torn off the calendar and tossed into the bin, just like these Raccoons.

Projected matchups:
Angelo Montano (2-3, 3.33 ERA) vs. Jose Moreno (4-5, 3.11 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (5-7, 4.63 ERA) vs. Rick Haugh (1-5, 4.76 ERA)
Nelson Moreno (5-5, 4.43 ERA) vs. Jeremy Truett (5-4, 4.39 ERA)

We’d expertly avoid their lefty, Noe Candeloro (4-6, 3.96 ERA). Because that is what we do.

San Fran also had a rush of injuries, but in their case it was mostly pitchers. Ryan Kinner, Tom Miller, Tim Thweatt, Garrett Sutherland… all on the DL, and some more.

We did not skip Montano on this off day, because why hurt him? It’s enough when my soul is stepped on with cleats. And it’s not like anybody dies to see the other two clowns we’d offer up…

Game 1
POR: 3B Ramos – RF Nettles – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Morales – 1B Levis – 2B Trevino – SS Nickas – P Montano
SFB: CF M. Hall – 3B Barcia – RF D. Martinez – 2B G. Ortiz – LF M. Castillo – 1B S. Ayala – C Canas – SS Clary – P J. Moreno

Montano had one of those days, putting the first two batters on in both of the first two innings. Somehow, the Bayhawks scored only a run in the second inning on a Rodrigo Canas single, while both times they smashed into a double play to kill their shot at turning Montano inside out. The first two Bayhawks were on AGAIN in the bottom 3rd, this time with Mike Hall reaching on a Montano error before he walked Sergio Barcia. Dave Martinez struck out, but Greg Ortiz whacked a home run to right that sent the score to 4-0 and led me to mark up a big fat L in the pocket schedule.

Montano got shanked for good in the fourth inning. Canas opened with a first-pitch groundout, and that was the last out Montano got. He walked Eric Clary on nine pitches, then mishandled Moreno’s bunt to add an extra runner. Hall hit an RBI single, and Barcia walked on four pitches to drive in the final nail. Zimmerman replaced Montano with one across, three on, and nobody out, and the team down by five already. Two pitches later, Dave Martinez hit a grand slam, 9-0.

After five innings of nothing, the Raccoons piled it on Moreno in the sixth inning, but even when they scored five runs in the inning, they were still behind by a slam (hah!). Nickas singled, was bunted to second, and Berto reached on an error. Nettles singled in a run, as did Manny, and Maldo hit an RBI double. Even Levis chipped something in, plating two runs with a single before the inning ended with Cosmo flying out to center. Three runs were unearned. Those were also the final runs in he game, with the Raccoons not reaching as much as second base from that point onwards and losing comfortably instead. 9-5 Bayhawks. Nettles 2-4, RBI; Maldonado 2-4, 2B, RBI; Trawick (PH) 1-1; Zabala 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 2 K;

Game 2
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Morales – 1B Levis – RF Balaski – SS Trawick – P Chavez
SFB: CF M. Hall – 1B S. Ayala – C J. Davis – RF D. Martinez – 3B Barcia – LF M. Castillo – 2B G. Ortiz – SS Clary – P Haugh

While Bernie Chavez stranded one runner in the first, two in the second, three in the third, and I was worried how many more bases there could possibly be, the Raccoons had also tossed away a few early chances. In three innings, Berto hit a leadoff single twice, once in conjunction with Cosmo, and was never scored by the lame ducks behind him in the order. The scoring drought would finally be broken in the fifth inning with a longball, so of course it was the Bayhawks taking the lead on Boom-Boom Chavez, who gave up a solo bomb to Josh Davis. The Raccoons instantly responded by having Maldonado and Morales take the corners with a pair of 2-out singles in the sixth… and with Doug Levis striking out to leave them there. Bernie also managed to hit into a double play in the seventh, and left dangling from the hook after seven innings pitched and 109 baseballs thrown, down 1-0.

He didn’t remain there. Berto hit ANOTHER leadoff single off the first reliever up, Michael Zabek, and the rest of the bums finally woke up. Cosmo walked Josh Wilkes, and Maldonado knocked an RBI double off Trevor Corrigan to tie the game and place two 1-out runners in scoring position for Tony Morales. The Baybirds’ fourth pitcher of the inning, Tony Rivas, threw a wild pitch to put Portland ahead, 2-1, then gave up an RBI single to Morales. Then “Double Play” Levis douged into a Dougie play, ending the inning. Portland shrugged and used Chuck Jones and Alex Ramirez to cover the eighth at the cost of a single, but no runs, while in the top 9th they got singles from Balaski and Kilmer, and then a pinch-hit double play grounder by Lando. That still left a 3-1 lead to blow for Hamill, with Mel Castillo hitting a leadoff single right away. Alas, Greg Ortiz grounded at second base, and Lando started a 4-6-3 to get that pesky runner dealt with, too. Clary flew out to Fernandez, ending the game. 3-1 Blighters. Ramos 3-4; Maldonado 2-4, 2B, RBI; Morales 2-4, RBI; Kilmer (PH) 1-1; Chavez 7.0 IP, 6 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 3 K, W (6-7);

Oh, I have no doubts they’ll reach their goal of dropping under .500 sooner rather than later. Next chance will already be there on Monday at this rate.

Game 3
POR: 3B Ramos – RF Balaski – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Kilmer – 2B Trawick – 1B Reyna – SS Nickas – P N. Moreno
SFB: CF M. Hall – 1B S. Ayala – C J. Davis – RF D. Martinez – 3B Barcia – LF M. Castillo – 2B G. Ortiz – SS Clary – P Truett

Portland scored first for once, getting Berto on and developing a Ramos Special with a stolen base, a Balaski single, and a Manny Fernandez sac fly to get him across. Balaski would then score on a throwing error by Davis. Then the Bayhawks went to work on Moreno, who was whipped for three hits and two runs in the same inning. The runs were unearned thanks to a Berto error on Davis’ grounder. And that, kids, is what we call the circle of life.

The Coons got him another lead in the second with Miguel Reyna’s leadoff triple and Nickas’ run-scoring grounder, but that, too, was transient. Moreno allowed another two hard hits, with Mike Hall singling home Eric Clary in the bottom 2nd, tying the game at three. Barcia and Castillo were in scoring position with two outs in the bottom 3rd. The Raccoons elected to walk Clary intentionally, so the pitcher would come up. Well, the pitcher whipped a ******* 2-run single, Hall knocked an RBI single to right, 6-3, and Moreno was yanked before even completing three innings this time. Brent Clark got the final out instead, then actually hit a 2-out single with nobody on (and nobody following on either) in the fourth inning. The Raccoons didn’t get another hit until Cosmo slapped a 2-run single that was overran / fallen on by Dave Martinez for an extra base in the seventh, leading to an unearned run that narrowed the score to 6-4 (not that it did not still FEEL like 10 runs difference). Trawick hit a 2-out double in the eighth, but for a lack of support that, too, dissipated into nothingness. The ninth saw the Raccoons still down by two after some stubborn refusal to yield by Zimmerman, Lindstrom, and Jones through the innings. They faced right-hander Jon Salls. Nettles hit for Nickas to begin the inning, but made a soft out. Cosmo was still in the #9 hole (with Berto gone) and singled. Tony Morales batted for Chuck Jones in the #1 slot, struck out, and a wild pitch moved the count on Balaski to 3-1 and Cosmo to second base, but Cosmo’s run didn’t count – Balaski was the tying run. The count ran full, and then Balaski slapped a grounder through the right side. Cosmo came around to score, 6-5, and Manny now could do some actual damage. Instead, he grounded out. 6-5 Bayhawks. Ramos 2-3, BB, RBI; Balaski 2-5, RBI; Trevino (PH) 2-2; Zimmerman 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 1 K;

In other news

June 18 – Four Thunder – Jesus Adames (.280, 8 HR, 22 RBI), Danny Cruz (.304, 15 HR, 39 RBI), John Marz (.241, 7 HR, 29 RBI), and Jesse Stedham (.264, 2 HR, 13 RBI) – pound out four base hits each and drive in nine runs between them in the Thunder’s 12-11 squeeze win in 10 innings over the Aces.
June 19 – The Buffaloes celebrate a 10th-inning walkoff win, 2-1, over the Rebels when RIC MR Jose Colon (2-3, 4.88 ERA) issues them three walks in the inning before third-string backstop Dan Sarro (.328, 0 HR, 7 RBI) loses another offering for a passed ball that allows the winning run to score.
June 22 – Nashville’s SP Matt Hose (8-6, 4.14 ERA) and CL Alex Banderas (2-6, 5.40 ERA, 20 SV) pitch a combined 1-hitter for a 3-1 win over the Gold Sox. Denver’s only hit is a single by C/1B Jeff Wilson (.259, 8 HR, 41 RBI) and their only run is unearned.
June 23 – NAS 3B/2B Jim “Mastodon” Allen (.316, 6 HR, 29 RBI) drives in six runs on three hits in a 12-8 shootout win over the Gold Sox.

FL Player of the Week: LAP INF/CF Brian Bowman (.341, 9 HR, 50 RBI), hitting .444 (12-27) with 2 HR, 7 RBI
CL Player of the Week: VAN LF/RF Justin Becker (.295, 3 HR, 22 RBI), batting .435 (10-23) with 2 HR, 5 RBI

Complaints and stuff

I feel nothing.

Reportedly, Juan Zabala also feels nothing in his throwing arm and Dr. Padilla is investigating. Oh no, how would we live without the backbone of our league-worst bullpen??

Steve Nickas got a new number, sporting #36 now. He used to wear #26, which has since gone to Bill Balaski.

We will face some actual winning teams next week (Falcons, Loggers), so I have zero doubt that we will reach that losing record next week, and then there’ll be no stopping them in a race for 100 losses. Maybe even 110, who knows!

Something for the soul? Ed Hooge hit a walkoff homer for the Stars this week, a come-from-behind 2-piece to beat the Warriors on Tuesday. He is batting .277 with three homers in the same part-time role he always had in Portland.

Fun Fact: No CL North team has ever lost 110 games in a season.

WELL, SOMEBODY’S ALWAYS THE FIRST!!

[Westheim]

The Raccoons also had to go for roster moves as the week began, when Dr. Padilla diagnosed Juan Zabala with rotator cuff inflammation that might cost him three months, and Jeff Kilmer was felled by a virus and we could not go without a second catcher for several days. Dr. Padilla said he wouldn’t come back before the weekend, and that he should stop swallowing his half-oxen whole to upset his stomach less… Thus, the Raccoons returned Steve Nickas (1-for-10, 1 RBI) to AAA, installed Maldonado at short for the time being, and added a third catcher in Chris Lancaster, backup catcher in St. Pete behind a 22-year-old Jason Lindblom, who wasn’t on the 40-man while Lancaster was. In previous cups of coffee, the 28-year-old Lancaster had batted .333 (7-21) with 1 HR, 3 RBI in the majors. For the pen, with great gnashing of teeth, Travis Sims was added.

No need to say any more about Travis Sims…

Raccoons (37-37) @ Falcons (43-32) – June 24-26, 2041

The Raccoons began their deadly week in Charlotte, where the Falcons were up 2-1 in the season series. They sat ninth in runs scored, but were allowing the fewest runs in the land, which was just barely enough to keep them in first place. Their run differential was only +31 (Critters: -34).

Projected matchups:
Josh Brown (7-2, 3.06 ERA) vs. Marcos Nabo (7-4, 3.14 ERA)
Drew Johnson (3-7, 3.62 ERA) vs. Jose de Lucio (7-6, 3.64 ERA)
Angelo Montano (2-4, 4.28 ERA) vs. Ernie Quintero (6-6, 2.89 ERA)

We continued to elude left-handers, which, considering our recent record, was not really a good thing.

Game 1
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Maldonado – LF Fernandez – C Morales – RF Balaski – 2B Trevino – 1B Levis – CF Nettles – P Brown
CHA: RF C. Robinson – 3B Lorensen – SS Aparicio – C M. Cook – 2B B. Nelson – CF J. Reyna – LF C. Russell – 1B Sheaffer – P Nabo

While Mitch Cook had the Falcons’ first two hits in the game, and Doug Levis temporarily looked like he had shaken off his month-plus-long slump with a 2-run homer to left in the second inning, the Falcons began to encroach on Josh Brown in the fifth inning. Jonathan Reyna hit an infield single, stole second, then scored on another soft single by Chris Russell. Brown continued to leak runners, putting on Nabo with a 1-out single and Chris Robinson with a walk, but then somehow elicited pops on the infield from Ryan Lorensen and Tony Aparicio. Heck, the damn Coons even got a glove under both of them, stranding three runners to preserve their 2-1 lead. They tacked on in the sixth, which Berto opened with a single. Morales walked and Bill Balaski chipped an RBI single into right-center, 3-1, but then Cosmo popped out.

Charlotte got a run back in the seventh when both Travis Sheaffer and Chris Robinson shot grounders past Berto’s big bum at third base for a double and an RBI single. Brown held out into the eighth inning – which turned out to be one inning too long. With two outs, Bob Nelson crashed his game with a home run, tying the game at three and removing him from the game. Alex Ramirez would get the last out of this inning and the first one in the ninth, then was replaced with Brent Clark, who basically retired nobody. Sheaffer and Jose Farfan singled, Robinson walked – all left-handed batters by the way – and then the game ended on a fly to Balaski and his terrible throw to home plate that was bad enough to earn him a game-ending error… 4-3 Falcons. Balaski 2-4, RBI;

Game 2
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Maldonado – LF Fernandez – C Morales – RF Balaski – 2B Trevino – 1B Levis – CF Nettles – P Johnson
CHA: RF C. Robinson – 1B Lorensen – SS Aparicio – C Kokoszka – 3B Farfan – LF Esperanza – CF C. Russell – 2B B. Nelson – P de Lucio

Portland broke open de Lucio right at the start. Berto opened with a single, remaining around the .350 mark, and while Maldo flew out, both Manny and Morales whacked RBI doubles to right. Balaski added a single, Cosmo dropped an RBI single, and then Levis whiffed and Nettles rolled over dead to keep the score at 3-0. Drew Johnson meanwhile didn’t explode at first sight *and* hit a pair of singles in his first two stints in the box. The latter one dissipated in the third inning in which the Coons left the bags stacked, but the first one led off the top 2nd and eventually saw him score on a Fernandez single that made it 4-0. The Falcons vaguely threatened at times, but never got to Johnson, also thanks to some strong defense by Stephon Nettles, who seemed to roam the outfield on a four-wheeler. Robinson hit a leadoff double in the sixth and Aparicio walked to slightly crowd Johnson, but he got a 5-4-3 double play from Chris Kokoszka to stave off the Falcons. Nevertheless, seven innings was all the Coons got from Johnson, who took 90 pitches through seven and looked well done. The fact that the Coons had two on and one out when his spot came up in the top 8th was also an incentive to pinch-hit for him, but both Reyna and Ramos struck out. Tim Zimmerman pitched a scoreless eighth before Manny and Morales went back-to-back doubles for the second time in this game, then off right-hander Jerry Felix in the ninth inning. Then the Coons went to Travis Sims in the bottom of the ninth. The result was grim – Kokoszka singled, Farfan homered, and here was already Wyatt Hamill, who walked the bags full with the tying runs while getting only one out. Chris Robinson was next and flew to left on a 2-2 pitch. Manny made the catch, the Falcons’ Ruben Esperanza went for home plate – and was thrown out! 5-2 Raccoons. Ramos 2-5; Fernandez 3-5, 2 2B, 2 RBI; Morales 3-5, 2 2B, 2 RBI; Trevino 3-5, 2B, RBI; Johnson 7.0 IP, 4 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 2 K, W (4-7) and 2-3;

This bullpen!!

Game 3
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF Fernandez – SS Maldonado – 1B Levis – RF M. Reyna – C Lancaster – CF Nettles – P Montano
CHA: RF C. Robinson – 3B Lorensen – SS Aparicio – C M. Cook – LF Farfan – 2B B. Nelson – CF J. Reyna – 1B Sheaffer – P E. Quintero

The Raccoons opened the game with having Berto and Cosmo on, then hit into a double play and a simple fly to right. Both teams stranded the bases loaded from having only one out in the second inning, and both teams had their leadoff hitter make the third out in the inning with a pop to left. Two walks and a single then loaded the bases with nobody out in the bottom 3rd as Montano did his usual coming-apart gig. Jose Farfan and Jonathan Reyna hit RBI singles each, Travis Sheaffer singled in two, and there was enough juice in the inning for Ernie Quintero to hit a sac fly and bury the Critters five runs deep. I was hardly pacified with Montano when he hit a single in the top of the fourth, the 2-hit keeping the inning going long enough for Berto to single home Miguel Reyna with a token run.

Montano was done after five innings. The Raccoons also made three errors behind him, but none of the lapses by Maldonado and Berto (twice) came in the third inning, and all the runs were thus earned on Montano’s pathetic ledger. The Coons kept getting runners and kept being ******ed whenever they had one. Reyna hit into an inning-ending double play in the fifth, Berto did the same in the sixth, then was excused the for the rest of the game, because it was ENOUGH. Travis Sims shoveled four Falcons on base and allowed another run in the bottom 6th, as if it mattered… The Raccoons got only one more run when Cosmo hit a leadoff triple in the seventh inning. Manny plated him with a groundout. Every other Critter to reach base afterwards (Maldo, Lando) was caught stealing. 6-2 Falcons. Trawick (PH) 1-1; Levis 2-4; Reyna 2-4;

We actually out-hit the Falcons in this game, 13-10.

What shall I say? We’re special!

Raccoons (38-39) vs. Loggers (45-33) – June 27-30, 2041

What a lucky break for the Loggers! They had just dawdled away their lead over the damn Elks, and now got to play their favorite punching bags in the division! Milwaukee was second in runs scored and sixth in runs allowed with a modest +39 run differential. They could potentially put away the season series with a sweep, leading it 6-2 already.

The Loggers!

Projected matchups:
Bernie Chavez (6-7, 4.39 ERA) vs. Tony Fuentes (7-5, 3.54 ERA)
Nelson Moreno (5-6, 4.69 ERA) vs. Adam Giovenco (5-3, 4.84 ERA)
Josh Brown (7-2, 3.10 ERA) vs. Sal Chavez (5-7, 4.50 ERA)
Drew Johnson (4-7, 3.39 ERA) vs. Carlos Padilla (5-4, 5.21 ERA)

These were all right-handers. And while the Loggers had some injuries, those were all afflicting position players like Jared Paul, Tim Cannizzard, and Dan Torri – no starting pitchers were hurt and none of the people routinely making things miserable on us.

We weren’t close to an off day (the next day off would be the All Star break), so we’d rotate people in and out on the weekend. Berto, with that rancid performance of his on Wednesday, got to take a day off first.

Game 1
MIL: LF J. Nelson – 3B Ronan – SS Del Vecchio – 1B Brayboy – RF Duncan – C F. Gomez – CF Prestwood – 2B V. Acosta – P T. Fuentes
POR: SS Maldonado – 3B Trevino – LF Fernandez – C Morales – 1B Levis – RF Balaski – 2B Lando – CF Nettles – P B. Chavez

It began at once. Joseph Ronan singled, dismal Ted Del Vecchio walked, and with two outs Nick Duncan belted a 3-run homer off hapless Bernie Chavez. To anybody’s surprise, that was not a W outright for the Loggers, and shockingly it was Doug Levis to keep the Furballs in the game. He hit a leadoff double in the second inning, scored on a Balaski grounder, and when the third inning rolled around he found Cosmo on base and crushed a 2-run homer to left, his 12th of the year, to tie the score at three. By the fifth, though, the old slumpy Levis was back, hitting into a double play to erase Tony Morales.

And Bernie? After the early noise, Chavez didn’t allow another runner in the second, third, fourth innings… and so on, until the Loggers suddenly woke up and bashed him for another three hits in the seventh, knocking him out of the game with Aaron Brayboy already in and Felipe Gomez and Tyler Prestwood on the corners. Ramirez stranded them, getting a pop from Victor Acosta before walking PH Daniel Hertenstein. With the bags full, Justin Nelson grounded out to short to end the frame. Instead, Brent Clark was humbled by Del Vecchio and Duncan singles for another run in the eighth… Bottom 9th, the Raccoons got a free runner when Ronan threw away Nick Lando’s grounder for a 2-base error. Kurt Crater surrendered the run on Stephon Nettles’ single to center, 5-4, but before euphoria could even begin to stretch its paws, Miguel Reyna crashed another chance with a double play grounder. And if that bum hadn’t found the double play, Maldonado’s grounder to short would have done the job… It sure enough ended the game. 5-4 Loggers. Levis 2-4, HR, 2B, 2 RBI;

No, Maud, I will not come down from the ledge. I will only come down from the ledge when we have a good team again that is worth getting up for in the morning? – You baked cookies? (whiskers twitch) Which cookies? – *Fine*! But that is the last time, Maud, that your cookies will bait me away from throwing myself into the container with broken recycling glass under this window!!

Game 2
MIL: LF J. Nelson – 3B Ronan – SS Del Vecchio – 1B Brayboy – RF Duncan – C F. Gomez – CF Hertenstein – 2B V. Acosta – P S. Chavez
POR: 3B Ramos – CF Nettles – LF Fernandez – SS Maldonado – C Morales – 1B Levis – RF Balaski – 2B Lando – P Moreno

Sal Chavez went on short rest for reasons not immediately divulged, and fell behind 1-0 in the first on Maldonado’s 2-out single that scored Nettles (who himself had forced out Berto). Nels allowed a first-inning single to Ronan, but nothing else through five, before a brief rain delay of about 20 minutes was definitely going to unhorse him. He struck out five up to that point, including four in a row just before the delay… The Raccoons’ offense was also in a perpetual rain delay – after the two first-inning singles by Berto and Maldo they didn’t land another base knock through five and the score remained 1-0.

And yet we all knew the end was near when Sal Chavez led off the sixth at the plate and whacked a liner up the rightfield line for a leadoff double. Nelson struck out, Ronan rolled out, but perpetual ******** Ted Del Vecchio crashed a homer to center that flipped the score in the Loggers’ favor, 2-1. Hertenstein, a switch-hitting rookie from Pahrump, Nevada, hit a solo shot in the seventh on his fourth day in the majors. Harrumph.

Lindstrom and Clark came apart for three hits and another run in the eighth inning, while the Raccoons were soul- and hit-searching. Maladonado had his third base hit of the game and the team’s fourth in the bottom 8th, and with two outs. Morales also singled, and Levis rolled over for an easy out. The tying run reached the batter’s box again in the ninth against Crater, this time with Balaski and Berto on the corners and two outs, and it was only Nettles who was up to bat. Given his 0-for-Infinity in progress, the Coons sent Jake Trawick to pinch-hit. He grounded out to short. 4-1 Loggers. Maldonado 3-4, RBI;

(hits head against ledge repeatedly while also nomming a cookie)

Jeff Kilmer returned from the outhouse by Saturday, allowing the Raccoons to return Chris Lancaster (1-for-4) to St. Pete and bring back a shortstop (Nickas… it’s not like we bred a new one in the meantime…), which would bleed into Maldonado getting a day off next.

Game 3
MIL: 3B Wynn – SS McNelis – 2B Del Vecchio – 1B Brayboy – LF Hertenstein – C F. Gomez – RF J. Nelson – CF Prestwood – P Giovenco
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF Fernandez – C Kilmer – 1B Levis – RF Balaski – CF Nettles – SS Nickas – P Brown

Pat Wynn was a debutee, and Eric McNelis had been up for a few weeks, but never in the starting lineup. Both rookies opened the game with a single each, and Brayboy drove in the first run of the game with another single off Brown. The Raccoons didn’t get a base hit until the third inning, then had three in a row starting with leadoff hitter Josh Brown to load the bases for Manny Fernandez. They got the tying run on a fielder’s choice that removed Cosmo at second base, after which Kilmer fouled out. Doug Levis ripped at a 3-1 pitch, causing me agony until the ball got past Hertenstein in left for a 2-run double that put Portland in front, 3-1. Balaski whiffed, sending the Loggers back to the plate. They did little in the fourth, then had the bags full in the fifth. Tyler Prestwood drew a leadoff walk, Wynn was nicked, and McNelis hit another single with one gone. Predictably it all went in the toilet with ******** Del Vecchio batting. He singled in a pair before McNelis was caught trying to cockily steal third base, and the Loggers took a 4-3 lead on Brayboy’s single. Brown barely got out of the inning, but was done after 93 pitches, most of them unimpressive.

The Raccoons were hell-bent on sticking the loss on Brown, too. Berto and Cosmo reached base to begin the bottom 6th, but the middle of the order collectively farted and the tying run was left on third base. Balaski then ripped a gapper for a leadoff triple in the seventh. He, too, was stranded on third by the assembled lack of hitting talent in Nettles, Nickas, and, depressingly, pinch-hitter Maldonado. Bottom 8th, still a 1-run game, Berto and Cosmo were on AGAIN facing lefty Marvin Verduzco. Manny flew out to Hertenstein, who also handled the 3-0 pitch that Kilmer singled to left on while I was shrieking. Berto had seen enough and just went for it from second base, barely barreling over home plate ahead of the throw, and tying the score at four. The trailing runners both advanced on Hertenstein’s throw to home plate, while the Loggers elected to walk Levis with intent. Trawick was then sent to hit for Balaski against the left-handed Verduzco… and smacked right into an inning-ending double play.

The Loggers wouldn’t win in regulation at least – Lindstrom and Hamill took care of that, even though Levis tried to derail the latter with a silly error on a Hector Alvarez grounder. The Coons had the 3-4-5 up against righty Cesar Perez in the bottom 9th, but the meaty bit of the order only yielded a Kilmer single. Tony Morales hit for the pitcher in the #6 hole and grounded out, thus sending the game to extras. The Raccoons were down to Chuck Jones and Travis Sims in the pen, plus a tired and terrible Brent Clark, and went with Jones to begin overtime. He retired three in a row, but the bottom 10th had the dismal mucky part of the order up. Nickas hit a 1-out single, was caught stealing, and then Reyna singled. Berto lined out to ******** Del Vecchio, keeping the game going for another scoreless frame by Jones in the 11th. Kurt Crater was in the for the bottom of the inning, which seemed like a weird choice, given his extensive track record in this series. Manny and Kilmer hit 1-out singles, then reached scoring position on a wild pitch. The Loggers went for the intentional walk to Levis, bringing up the pitcher’s spot again. Nick Lando was the last bat on the bench. The .200 hitter didn’t even need to land a base hit – a sac fly would totally do! He flailed at the first pitch, a low liner up the middle, past the middle infielders, and into center for a walkoff! 5-4 Coons! Ramos 2-5, BB; Trevino 2-4, 2 BB; Kilmer 3-5, BB, RBI; Lando (PH) 1-1, RBI; Jones 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 2 K, W (4-1);

Game 4
MIL: 3B Wynn – CF Hertenstein – SS Del Vecchio – 1B Brayboy – RF Duncan – C F. Gomez – 2B Yoshioka – LF Prestwood – P C. Padilla
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Morales – RF Balaski – 1B Reyna – SS Nickas – P Johnson

Maldo tripled in the game’s first run (Manny) in the first inning, and I decided not to gnash my teeth over the run we lost when Cosmo was caught stealing just prior to Manny’s single, even when Felipe Gomez tied the game with a homer in the second inning. Both teams then proceeded to do next to nothing for the rest of qualifying distance, through which Johnson threw 69 pitches, whiffing seven against three base hits. He struck out Duncan to end the sixth, but only after walking ******** Del Vecchio, who stole second, and allowing a tie-breaking single to Brayboy. Johnson retired three in a row in the seventh inning, but left on a 2-1 hook. Padilla couldn’t hold on, though, with Maldonado hitting a leadoff single in the bottom of the inning and advancing on a wild pitch. Morales then plated him with a single to right, getting teams even at two before the next three Critters all made poor outs.

Bottom 8th, Berto and Cosmo reached with one out against Padilla, who was still short of 100 pitches. Manny popped out, but Maldo came through with a single to center, driving in Berto with the go-ahead run and two outs. Then Cosmo was caught stealing third base, ending the inning. Ramirez then got the save chance since Hamill had been in both of the last two games (without ever getting a save opportunity since the one coyly manufactured by Dimwit Sims earlier in the week). Del Vecchio, Brayboy, Duncan came up against Ramirez – and he struck out all of them. 3-2 Coons. Maldonado 3-4, 3B, 2 RBI; Morales 1-2, BB, RBI; Johnson 7.0 IP, 4 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 8 K;

In other news

June 24 – SFW SP Keith Black (11-4, 2.43 ERA) 2-hits the Capitals with five strikeouts to his name in a 3-0 Warriors win.
June 25 – NAS 1B Chance Bossert (.329, 1 HR, 16 RBI) reaches 2,000 hits on a 3-for-4 day as the Blue Sox beat the Scorpions 7-6. The milestone is his first home run of the year, a leadoff jack off SAC SP Al Scott (6-6, 4.63 ERA) in the fourth inning. The 33-year-old Bossert is a career Blue Sock, having been the #1 pick in the 2027 draft. He led the FL in stolen bases twice in his younger years (when he was also still mostly playing third base), and won the 2039 batting title. For his career, he was a .306/.396/.393 hitter with 45 HR and 689 RBI.
June 25 – The Aces enter the ninth inning with a 6-1 lead over the Crusaders and manage to suffer a 6-run implosion to lose the game in regulation, 7-6. New York hits four singles, draws two walks, and has no fewer than three batters hit by pitches to enable the comeback. NYC LF/CF Joe Besaw (.281, 3 HR, 49 RBI) is hit by a pitch offered by Derek Barker (1-4, 5.00 ERA) with the bases loaded to end the game.
June 26 – The Aces send SP Willie Gallardo (7-7, 3.62 ERA) to Cincinnati for two prospects.
June 27 – NYC SP Ernesto Lujan (7-4, 3.79 ERA) no-hits the Titans in a 1-0 win for the Crusaders. The 38-year-old Lujan walked two and whiffed four in the performance. It is the sixth no-hitter for the New York franchise after those by Eric Edmonstone (1984), Carlos Guillén (1985), George Kirk (2004), Jaylen “Midnight” Martin (2017), and Mike Rutkowski (2026).
June 27 – The Condors will be without OF/1B Scott Martin (.317, 5 HR, 29 RBI), who is going on the shelf for six weeks with a torn groin muscle.
June 30 – The Crusaders lose SP Aaron Hickey (4-4, 3.08 ERA) for the season. The 25-year-old is out with a torn labrum.

FL Player of the Week: NAS 2B/SS Billy Bouldin (.338, 1 HR, 25 RBI), hitting .517 (15-29) with 1 HR, 3 RBI
CL Player of the Week: VAN OF Jerry Outram (.367, 16 HR, 49 RBI), whacking .462 (12-26) with 4 HR, 8 RBI

FL Hitter of the Month: TOP RF Troy Greenway (.241, 11 HR, 28 RBI), hitting .314 with 9 HR, 21 RBI
CL Hitter of the Month: VAN LF/RF Justin Becker (.318, 4 HR, 27 RBI), batting .339 with 4 HR, 16 RBI
FL Pitcher of the Month: TOP SP John Kennedy (8-6, 3.76 ERA), hurling 4-0 with a 1.67 ERA, 34 K
CL Pitcher of the Month: CHA SP Ernie Quintero (7-6, 2.87 ERA), tossing 5-1 ball with a 2.08 ERA, 28 K
FL Rookie of the Month: SFW OF Tyler Mantooth (.265, 7 HR, 38 RBI), hitting .348 with 3 HR, 17 RBI
CL Rookie of the Month: BOS LF/RF/1B Alejandro Rodela (.356, 5 HR, 9 RBI), hitting just exactly as much

Complaints and stuff

Saturday was the 5,400th regular season win for the franchise, and they took their sweet time with it, both in terms of wins put together this season (they have fewer than losses now, you may have noticed) and how long it took in that game – 11 innings despite ample chances. Nick Lando bought himself another four days’ reprieve from being sent to the nearest bread line for a complete lack of production with that walkoff single.

Looks like the -38 run differential finally caught up with us, huh?

Now, we could waste some oxygen on how the Raccoons are really not THAT far away (though in fourth place) and could conceivably – … but may I make you remember that they had eight of their next eleven games against the damn Elks and could reasonably be 15 games out by the middle of July? Montano will open the first four-game set against the Elks, in case you were tempted to make a bet to the contrary.

Fun Fact: The Raccoons are third in hits, third in OBP, fourth in walks, first in stolen bases… and ninth in runs scored.

That is not bad luck. That is the baseball gods telling you firmly NO, and not now, not next year, and not for the rest of the decade.