Portland Raccoons (ABL)

[Questdog]

Oh! Those wonderful days! Tet-SU!! Quinn and Reece and never forget good ol' Vern! And Teacher's Pet!

Although, now that I think about it, I think maybe you were trying to forget something about Vern.... Sorry to bring it up, but I did like him....

[Westheim]

(sees the yellow #16 on the blue shirt and the raised fist flicker in front of his eyes)

Uhm. (shakes head)

Well, everybody liked Vern Kinnear! He didn't come up until '91 though for a cup of coffee, and then stayed for good come '92 and won Rookie of the Year. He never batted .311 or hit 16 homers again, but it sure was love at first sight!

(yellow #16 on the blue shirt flickers again)

My meds stop working...

(pours Capt'n Coma into a bowl with pills)

[Westheim]

Raccoons (72-52) vs. Loggers (52-72) – August 24-26, 2037

This season series had so far really not gone to plan for Portland, with the Raccoons trailing 7-5 against the otherwise wholly lost Loggers. They were 20+ games out, in the bottom four in both runs scored and runs allowed, with no power, little speed, mediocre defense – little to love. BUT … 7-5 against Portland.

Projected matchups:
Raffaello Sabre (9-5, 4.12 ERA) vs. Tommy Iezzi (8-10, 4.12 ERA)
Bryce Sparkes (11-5, 2.95 ERA) vs. William Stockwell (5-10, 4.87 ERA)
Jared Ottinger (9-7, 3.54 ERA) vs. Vinny Olguin (6-18, 4.61 ERA)

Southpaw Stockwell in the middle, surrounded by righties, and looking at Olguin’s record on Wednesday I was dead-certain that we wouldn’t win that game…

There were two days before Wednesday, but only one with a game, since Monday’s opener was rained out. Ya-hah, that brutal Portland August. Be sure to bring a jacket. And an umbrella. Tuesday then saw the teams line up for a double header, which didn’t make the SP situation down the road any easier for Portland…

Game 1
MIL: 2B Paul – 1B S. Ayala – 3B Conner – RF Valenzuela – SS Del Vecchio – C M. Cooper – LF J. Crawford – CF Prestwood – P Iezzi
POR: 2B Trevino – SS Ramos – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Fowler – C Morales – 3B Myers – 1B Stedham – P Sparkes

Things didn’t get better when baseball was actually being played, either, with Berto beating out a throw by Josh Conner on an infield roller, but Conner’s throw also had Salvador Ayala reach into the runner, and the two collided. Berto went flying into foul ground, then had to be supported on a slow limp off the field, with Steve Nickas replacing him, while I could see Dr. Chung donning surgical gloves in the corner of my eye… The Loggers lost Iezzi to injury in the second inning, with a sore wrist bothering the right-hander, who was replaced by left-hander Jake Presley, the sort of 26-year-old rookie you’d find on sixth-place teams. Neither team had more than one hit in the first three innings, but they both unpacked some offense in the fourth. Danny Valenzuela doubled and was singled in by Ted Del Vecchio for Milwaukee, while the Raccoons got three 2-out hits by Fowler (single), Morales (double), and Myers (RBI single), with Morales thrown out at home plate to end the inning.

Sparkes was done after six innings with many long counts, including giving up the go-ahead run in the sixth when Jared Paul walked, stole second, reached third base on Morales’ throwing error, and then scored on Sal Ayala’s sac fly. The Raccoons had a potential counterattack planned in the bottom 6th, which began with Greenway singling to right to knock out the so far highly resilient Presley, after which Carlos Padilla gave up a double to Fowler. Here they were, out-hitting the Loggers 8-3, but trailing 2-1, yet with runners in scoring position and nobody out in the bottom 6th. And here came the Coons – sac fly by Morales, which, y’know, at least a tie! Myers popped out. Stedham was walked intentionally, but Hooge batted for Sparkes and was nailed, filling the bases for Trevino, who ran a full count against Padilla before looping a ball into shallow left-center for a tie-breaking 2-run single! Whee! (looking at Nickas stepping into the box) And not one second too soon! Indeed, for Nickas would pop out. After Citriniti managed to out-pitch both his own self-doubts and the Loggers in the top 7th, the Raccoons got a leadoff triple from Manny Fernandez in the bottom of the inning. It took the Raccoons three runners to score him, although Fowler walked, was forced out on a grounder to third, and then finally Morales got a ball to fall in for an RBI single. Dave Myers hit an RBI single off new pitcher Rob Clack, getting a 6-2 lead. The inning fizzled out after that, but the Raccoons finished the game with only one more pitcher, sending Travis Sims out there for two innings and squeezing him out for 38 pitches that made sure he wouldn’t see the Loggers again until September … or a 15th inning on Wednesday. 6-2 Coons. Trevino 2-5, 2 RBI; Ramos 1-1; Fowler 2-4, 2B; Morales 2-2, BB, 2B, 2 RBI; Myers 2-3, 2 RBI; Sparkes 6.0 IP, 3 H, 2 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 5 K, W (12-5); Sims 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 3 K;

There was good and bad in Berto’s knee sprain that would render him out for two weeks. First, well, we had just lost Berto again. BUT – he opened up a roster spot for an extra pitcher to make a now-necessary second spot start, UNLESS … Sabre was knocked out quick in the second leg of the double header.

IF Sabre went deep into the game, we’d get a spot starter for *Wednesday*, pushing Ottie to Friday in Atlanta (followed by Ward (yuck) and Sparkes) ruining the lives of all the kids that nagged their parents into buying tickets for Wednesday, then could recycle that guy into another infielder for the weekend (the last series before roster expansion).

IF Sabre was knocked out early, Ottie would pitch Wednesday, Ward on *Friday* and Sabre could come back on three days’ rest on Saturday, and we’d get an infielder right away on Wednesday.

Game 2
MIL: 2B Paul – 1B S. Ayala – 3B Conner – RF Valenzuela – SS Del Vecchio – LF J. Crawford – C F. Chavez – CF Prestwood – P Stockwell
POR: SS Trevino – 3B Myers – LF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – C Garcia – 2B Vickers – 1B Stedham – RF Pinkerton – P Sabre

Neither team reached base in the first three innings! Sabre whiffed four, Stockwell struck out nobody, but the result was the same. Ayala would hit a single in the fourth, but didn’t get off first base. For the Coons, with one out in the fourth Dave Myers walked, Manny singled to center, but Fowler flew out to right. While Garcia singled, that was also to right and Myers was held against Valenzuela’s murder arm. Rich Vickers had three on and two outs, and grounded out to Del Vecchio.

No other Raccoon reached base until a leadoff single by Fowler in the seventh, giving both pitchers a 3-hitter at that point. Garcia flew out to Tyler Prestwood, but Vickers singled this time around, showing he had no sense for the perfect timing. When Stedham grounded out, the Loggers replaced Stockwell with righty Cody Chamberlin for Pinkerton, who was immediately pinch-hit for with runners in scoring position and two outs. Troy Greenway to the rescue! …and… and a ****ty roller along the third base line, but it was slow – Fowler out-ran Conner, Greenway dieseled it up to first, and everybody was safe for the first run of the game…!! Hooge batted for Sabre and flew out. Then we watched helplessly as Antonio Prieto and David Fernandez cocked up four singles for the tying run in the eighth, and still couldn’t get out of the inning – Derek Barker grounded out Del Vecchio with three aboard to get out of the mess. The Raccoons made two outs against Chamberlin to begin the bottom 8th before Manny stumbled on base, and with a guy aboard Justin Fowler opened up the 30-homer club for the season, hitting a long home run to right that gave the Raccoons the lead *again*. This time they – and Yeom Soung – kept it. 3-1 Blighters. Fowler 2-4, HR, 2 RBI; Greenway (PH) 1-1, RBI; Sabre 7.0 IP, 3 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 9 K;

Alright; things to pick out of the detritus here – Sabre went seven and won’t be burned on short rest. We’d see what AAA had to offer instead.

Also, the Crusaders and Indians didn’t win all that much so far this week and the Raccoons thus took first place by sweeping the double-header!

The Wednesday start went to Bob Thomson, who was 5-5 with a 3.61 ERA in AAA, employed in a swingman role. He had made two scoreless relief appearances for the Critters earlier this year, and had a total of 11 games (2 starts) for Portland over three years, with a 1-2 record and 3.86 ERA in just 23 innings. Cannon fodder lefty, 27 years old.

Game 3
MIL: RF Valenzuela – LF J. Crawford – 2B Paul – 3B Conner – SS Del Vecchio – 1B S. Ayala – C M. Cooper – CF Prestwood – P Olguin
POR: SS Trevino – 3B Myers – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Fowler – C Morales – 1B Stedham – 2B Vickers – P Thomson

Two walks and Josh Conner’s 2-run triple put the Raccoons in a hole right away, but at least he next two Loggers whiffed to end the top 1st and the Raccoons loaded the bases right away via two singles and a walk off Olguin. And then two strikeouts and Morales flying out on 3-1 took care of that… The 1-2 pair would be on base again in the bottom of the third. Manny hit into a fielder’s choice, Greenway struck out AGAIN, but Justin Fowler was still awake, got hold of a fastball, and put Olguin on the hook for his 19th loss with a 3-run homer to right-center! The Loggers reversed fortunes immediately, pummeled Thomson for a Conner walk, a Del Vecchio double, and a 2-run single by Matt Cooper for a 4-3 lead, and the inning didn’t end until after a 2-out walk was issued to OLGUIN. The bullpen was up after that performance, while Jesse Stedham opened the bottom of the frame by striking out, yet reaching on Cooper’s mishandling of the baseball. A wild pitch moved the tying run to second base, Vickers singled, and Thomson was hit for with Ed Hooge, who grounded to short for a force on Vickers at second base, but Stedham scored, and Thomson would at least not take the loss (but probably a good scolding) in what was now a 4-4 game. Cosmo hit into a force at second, but then stole that base and scored on Myers’ single to left, putting Portland in the lead, 5-4.

…after which the pitching on either side suddenly turned competent! The 5-4 score remained intact into the late innings, with the Raccoons doing little off the Loggers’ pen, but our own held up, too. Derek Barker gave the Raccoons two innings of keeping the Loggers behind. Garavito pitched for four outs, and Prieto for two, completing eight innings. Offense remained denied in the bottom 8th, and so Soung was back with a 1-run lead and the 5-6-7 batters up. Del Vecchio struck out in a full count, and Ayala also ran a full count before flying out to Fowler, who had been lifted for D quite often in tight late innings recently, but with the short bench the Raccoons didn’t have an outfielder left over here. In any case, Cooper grounded out to Myers, and the sweep was complete…! 5-4 Raccoons! Myers 3-4, RBI; Fowler 2-4, HR, 3 RBI; Barker 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 2 K, W (9-1);

(shivers, but grins)

Oh well, Thomson was sent right back to AAA, but he would have been if he had tossed a 3-hitter just as well. We brought up Jose Brito, the Dominican second baseman that had amounted to a .167 clip in seven games earlier this season. Trevino would thus play short for the time being.

Raccoons (75-52) @ Knights (65-60) – August 28-30, 2037

The recently-promoted first-place Raccoons went out to see the second-place Knights, five games out in the South. Scoring was like glue in their games, as they were on the shallow end in terms of runs scored, with the third-fewest markers on the board both offensively and defensively. Injuries to Luis Inoa and Matt Kilgallen would not help them in this series, and Portland led the season series, 4-2.

Projected matchups:
Jared Ottinger (9-7, 3.54 ERA) vs. Armando Zaragoza (12-6, 3.41 ERA)
Nate Ward (1-3, 4.72 ERA) vs. Brad Santry (9-10, 3.59 ERA)
Bryce Sparkes (12-5, 2.90 ERA) vs. Danny Orozco (6-8, 3.48 ERA)

Southpaw on Sunday! Apart from that, boys, don’t lose!

Game 1
POR: SS Trevino – 3B Myers – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Fowler – C Morales – 2B Brito – 1B Stedham – P Ottinger
ATL: C Horner – CF J. Simmons – RF Pincus – 3B Maneke – 1B J. Elder – SS K. Thomson – 2B Zesati – LF Dahl – P Zaragoza

Adam Horner, Roy Pincus, and Chris Maneke all slapped singles up the middle in the first for a 1-0 Knights lead. Ottie would take care of business himself, homering off Zaragoza in the third inning. Unfortunately the rest of the team wasn’t doing nearly as well, and the score remained tied. The Knights had two more hits off Ottinger in the fourth, but didn’t break through, while the Raccoons finally found scoring position in the fifth inning with Myers’ 1-out walk and a single hit by Manny Fernandez. Well, and then Greenway struck out and Fowler rolled over to Maneke.

Atlanta had two more aboard in the fifth when Ottinger walked Adam Horner and allowed a double to Justin Simmons. That was with two outs, Greenway contained Pincus’ rocket, and the game remained tied, somehow. Jay Elder and Keith Thomson hit singles to reach the corners in the bottom 6th, and while Vincent Zesati, a former Coons farmhand, also flew out to Fowler, that one was with one down and good enough for a tie-breaking sac fly. The game then came completely apart with a walk to Mike Dahl and a screaming 2-run double hit by Zaragoza, squeezing tears out of my eyes, but I guess it was sweet revenge for him. The Raccoons put a pair in scoring position after Citriniti got out of the mess of the bottom 6th, when Trevino and Myers got there with one out in the seventh. A passed ball charged to Horner scored a run, 4-2, and then Manny buried a ball in the gap in right-center and raced all the way to third for an RBI triple! Greenway however continued to be absolutely useless this week, popped out, and Fowler also flew out easily, bitterly stranding the tying run at third base in tandem. The eighth was largely uneventful, and the ninth brought on southpaw Roland Warner (2.66 ERA), facing the top of the order with a 4-3 score on the line. Cosmo singled, but Myers hit into a double play, and that was that. Manny Fernandez grounded out to end the game. 4-3 Knights. Trevino 2-5; Myers 2-4, BB, 2B; M. Fernandez 3-5, 3B, RBI; Garavito 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 0 K;

Well. That sucked. Greenway was HORRENDOUS this week!

Game 2
POR: 2b Trevino – 3B Myers – LF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – RF Greenway – C Morales – 1B Stedham – SS Nickas – P Ward
ATL: C Horner – CF J. Simmons – RF Pincus – 3B Maneke – SS K. Thomson – 2B Zesati – 1B LeClerc – LF Dahl – P Santry

Cosmo opened with a triple and scored on a Fernandez groundout for an early 1-0 lead, and the team got another triple in the second inning, that one by Stedham and scoring two runs with nobody out, as both Greenway and Morales had already hit singles off Santry – Greenway’s was of the infield variety. Nickas struck out (sigh!), but Nate Ward slapped a single into center to get the run home, going up 4-0. Cosmo singled again, but Myers whiffed; however, Manny Fernandez hit a gapper for a 2-run double before this inning, like the first, ended with Fowler grounding out. Manny then held Ward together in the bottom of the inning. With Thomson and Zesati on base, he speared a screaming Justin LeClerc drive in the gap to rob him of extra bases, and Mike Dahl would pop out to strand the pair for good.

Credit to Santry, he held out until a fifth-inning jack by Greenway did him in for good; or maybe the Knights had stopped to bother in the second inning. With stingy defense and the homer, the Raccoons were now up 7-0. The Knights would get to Ward in the sixth and made quite some noise. Justin Simmons doubled off the wall, and Pincus and Thomson hit balls clean over it, getting the Knights all the way back to 7-3. The Critters kept Ward for a K on LeClerc to begin the bottom 7th, then sent David Fernandez in relief… and one of those Fowler-replacing double switches. Manny ended up out there in center and raced back to catch a Horner drive to end the inning. From there, the pen remained in control and Dennis Citriniti and Derek Barker kept the Knights at a distance in the last two innings. 7-3 Coons! Trevino 2-4, BB, 3B; Myers 2-5; Brito (PH) 1-1; Greenway 2-5, HR, RBI; Stedham 2-4, 3B, 2 RBI;

Early offense – best kind of offense!

…as voted on by managers and general managers for 60 straight years in Early Offense Magazine.

Also, no southpaw on Sunday, with Terry Garrigan (8-12, 3.34 ERA) getting the start instead.

Game 3
POR: SS Trevino – 3B Myers – LF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – RF Greenway – C Garcia – 1B Stedham – 2B Brito – P Sparkes
ATL: C Horner – CF J. Simmons – RF Pincus – 3B Maneke – 1B J. Elder – SS K. Thomson – 2B Zesati – LF Dahl – P Garrigan

After doing little with a leadoff single by Cosmo, who was doubled off by Myers, in the first and two walks issued in the second, the Raccoons loaded the bases at the start of the third inning, with Sparkes singling, Cosmo doing the same, and Myers getting nicked, which was really Garrigan’s fault, throwing the double play away so easily! And all the runners would score, but … oh, HOW …!! Sparkes came home on a passed ball, which was already after Manny had whiffed. Fowler grounded out, getting another run across. Myers’ run required a wild pitch. So the Knights were a mess and the Raccoons had a 3-0 lead. But here came the Coons; bottom 3rd, Mike Dahl singled, the first hit for Atlanta with one out here. After a casual bunt, Sparkes walked Horner with two outs, and then Garcia was charged with a passed ball, moving the runners into scoring position. A mound conference served to inform both nutjobs that they were supposed to strand those guys in the white shirts. Bryce Sparkes accordingly reconsidered his errant ways, went from 1-0 to a strikeout, and it looked like the day could still go alright for us…!

Atlanta opened the fourth with two singles, but Jay Elder hit into a 5-4-3 double play, which was very welcome. Keith Thomson also grounded out to Myers, stranding Pincus on third base. Bottom 5th, more 2-out mess, this time with Garrigan singling. Horner walked again, and then Simmons singled to right. Garrigan scored, 3-1, but Horner was thrown out at third base to at least end the inning. Maybe this could still go either way….

Portland had only three hits through five innings, so the offense still had room to develop; and Manny drew a leadoff walk in the sixth. Fowler singled to center, then was forced out on a Greenway grounder. Garcia whiffed, Stedham walked, and Jose Brito came up with three on and two outs, and wasn’t that a ****ty spot, because yes, we wanted him to get at-bats, but wins were precious, and Ed Hooge grabbed a bat. We needed a tack-on run. Or four. Hooge grounded out to first base, and the Coons didn’t get zip. Cosmo was on in the seventh, but was caught stealing by Horner, and the team just couldn’t bowl over Garrigan after that third-inning snafu. The Atlanta righty only left the game when LeClerc hit for him to begin the bottom 8th, with Sparkes remaining the game to face him (with Garavito ready for Horner). The plot didn’t work, LeClerc singled, and the Raccoons were in problems. Garavito hit his man, then was replaced by Prieto, who got a grounder to short from Simmons for a much-welcome 6-4-3! Then he still gave up the run with a Pincus single… Maneke also singled, but the inning ended with Elder, thankfully. When Warner held the Raccoons to five hits in regulation, Yeom Soung had to solve the bottom of the order without a cushion, and with right-hander Eric Martins pinch-hitting for Thomson. He grounded out, Zesati whiffed, and then Ted Schlegelmilch, batting all of .114, hit for Dahl for his righty bat, and singled to center. Alex Jaramillo batted for the pitcher, also a right-hander, poking .196. His infield roller befuddled the entire crew and all Knights were safe on the play while I felt a sting in my left arm. The left-handed Horner would *not* be hit for – there were no right-handers left over on the bench! He shot a liner to right, Greenway BARELY cut it off, and the Knights tied the game when Schlegelmilch scored. The Coons sent Citriniti to stop the bleeding, with Simmons legging out ANOTHER infield single. The bases were now loaded, with Pincus either walking the Knights or sending everybody to the 10th. Citriniti walked him … and that was that. 4-3 Knights.

In other news

August 26 – Nashville’s 2B/SS Billy Bouldin (.386, 1 HR, 64 RBI) has hit in 20 straight games, reaching the two-oh with a single in a 6-3 loss to the Buffaloes.
August 27 – Shoulder inflammation ends the season of NYC SP Geoff Whitehouse (13-5, 3.29 ERA).
August 28 – TOP SP Ricardo Ordas (12-8, 4.81 ERA, 9 SV), who started the season in the pen, shuts out the Stars on two base hits in a 6-0 Buffaloes win.
August 30 – The hitting streak of NAS Billy Bouldin (.381, 1 HR, 65 RBI) ends with an 0-for-4 in a 7-3 loss to the Wolves. Bouldin had connected in 21 straight games.
August 30 – DEN OF/1B Rich de Luna (.303, 2 HR, 44 RBI) is out for the season with a bad groin strain.

FL Player of the Week: SAL LF/RF Kyle Weinstein (.285, 19 HR, 75 RBI) batting .476 (10-21) with 3 HR, 9 RBI
CL Player of the Week: TIJ RF/LF/1B Willie Ojeda (.368, 13 HR, 86 RBI), poking .500 (13-26) with 2 HR, 10 RBI

Complaints and stuff

First place… but Sunday was one of those games where you just want to kick something over and yell at Baseball to go **** itself. It brought New York back to within half a game, and things could have been so much better. In fact, a 6-0 week was entirely possible. ****ty hitting cost the Coons on Friday, and hemiplegic pitching did them in on Sunday.

Thursday is another day off next week, so we should be good with our four starters, but I thought that before and just recently… But Bernie will be back on the mound for that series, and rosters will expand on Tuesday as well.

We’ll go back to the Bay for a 3-game set, then loop around home for three with the damn Elks on the weekend, before going right back to the East Coast to play the Titans and Crusaders. The return flight will be via Elktown after that.

Fun Fact: 33 years ago today, Indy’s Jose Paraz hit for the cycle in an 11-5 win over the Thunder.

Paraz was a Venezuelan, switch-hitting catcher with extreme longevity, lasting 21 years in the majors from his age 22 debut with the Indians until a backup assignment with the Condors at age 42, or from 1999 through 2019. He was the 2000 CL Rookie of the Year, and would win 11 All Star nods and a ring with the 2015 Crusaders. His defense never merited him getting a Gold Glove, but he was an absolute threat at the plate, posting OPS+ values of 123 or higher in all but one of his first 17 full major league seasons. He hit 20+ homers seven tims, was always good for at least as many doubles, and four times drove in 100 or more runs. For his career he batted .267/.389/.441 with 269 HR and 1,130 RBI and was elected to the Hall of Fame on his fifth ballot in ’29.

[Questdog]

I went back and read through the '85 to 92 seasons, just for sentimental reasons, and I was amazed at how unhappy you were with the team most of the time! IIRC, you even rage-quit for a bit in early 92, which ended up being a pretty special season....

[Westheim]

Originally Posted by Questdog

I went back and read through the '85 to 92 seasons, just for sentimental reasons, and I was amazed at how unhappy you were with the team most of the time! IIRC, you even rage-quit for a bit in early 92, which ended up being a pretty special season....

Funny thing; I find losing with a good team harder to stomach than losing with a bad team. With a bad team, losing is all you expect. With a good team, losing is wrong.

Something like four years ago we had that season where no pitcher could retire anybody and our team ERA was well over five. I laughed more during that season (of despair, but it counts!) than during any other season I remember.

[Westheim]

Raccoons (76-54) @ Bayhawks (73-57) – August 31-September 2, 2037

Nothing good ever happened in San Francisco, especially not to the Raccoons. Both teams led their divisions; us by half a game and they by ten times that amount. They had the fifth-most runs scored, but the very fewest runs allowed with the best rotation and a highly competent bullpen. Their defense also ranked first in the CL. While the Raccoons’ gap in terms of pitching (only 10 more runs allowed) was narrow, I worried for our beleaguered offense… and the Crusaders breathing down our furry necks. The season series stood at 4-2 in the Furballs’ favor.

Projected matchups:
Bernie Chavez (10-8, 3.34 ERA) vs. Josh Long (12-11, 4.49 ERA)
Raffaello Sabre (9-5, 3.90 ERA) vs. Lorenzo Viamontes (14-6, 3.01 ERA)
Jared Ottinger (9-8, 3.65 ERA) vs. Ben Lipsky (10-7, 2.87 ERA)

All Baybird starters were right-handed.

Game 1
POR: SS Trevino – 3B Myers – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Hooge – C Morales – 1B Stedham – 2B Vickers – P Chavez
SFB: LF Balderrama – 2B M. Hurtado – RF P. Sanchez – 1B McGrath – CF Coca – SS Greer – 3B A. Castillo – C Umanzor – P Long

Fresh out of detention and on eight days’ rest, Bernie Chavez allowed only one hit to Marshall Greer the first time through, but then got ticked by Edgardo Balderrama, Mario Hurtado, and Pablo Sanchez in order with two outs in the bottom 3rd as the Bayhawks erased the Coons’ 1-0 lead, which had been the result of well-placed base knocks by Dave Myers and Troy Greenway in the top of the first. Portland seemed to reload their guns in the fourth, though, with Greenway drawing the leadoff walk before Ed Hooge hit a double up the leftfield line. Balderrama cut the ball off and had a rightfielder’s arm, so Greenway was held at third base, bringing up Tony Morales with nobody out. But for the Raccoons, clutch was something that was perpetually in somebody else’s car – on 2-2, Morales popped out in foul ground. Long walked Stedham, filling the bases, but Vickers popped out to Mario Hurtado, and Bernie grounded out to Greer… Like I said, nothing good ever happened for the Raccoons in San Francisco.

Bernie battled valiantly throughout the middle innings, holding off the Bayhawks even when Eduardo Umanzor hit a leadoff double at one point. Bernie was batting with Stedham on first base with one out in the seventh, bu couldn’t get the bunt down. At 1-2, the Raccoons called the run-and-hit, Bernie slapped a single through the hole between the middle infielders, and the Raccoons set up camp at the corners with Cosmo back to the plate. Trevino fell to 0-2, then slapped a ball over Hurtado’s head for an RBI single, breaking the 1-1 tie. That was all they got – Myers flew out to left and Manny whiffed to end the inning. Long getting bombed by Greenway to lead off the eighth was consolation, and Greenway had his 20th homer of the year, 13 of those for the Critters. Berto lasted one out into the eighth before Hurtado hit a single to center. With the ancient Pablo Sanchez up, the Raccoons sent Garavito, who threw one pitch which Sanchez poked into play and then beat out the play on his 43-year-old legs. Exit Garavito, enter Prieto, drop a 2-1 bloop off Kevin McGrath’s bat into shallow center. Hurtado scored, but Tony Coca, the once-upon-a-time Elk, hit into a much-relieving double play. That feat would be matched by a pinch-hitting Justin Fowler in the ninth, leaving the Raccoons still only one run ahead with Yeom Soung on the mound in the bottom 9th. Greer slapped a leadoff double to center at 3-2, but Soung registered two pops on the infield after that before PH Sonny Deming pinch-hit in the #9 hole; the unremarkable, 29-year-old occasional major leaguer ended the game – by homering to left on another 3-2 pitch. 4-3 Bayhawks. Myers 2-3; Greenway 2-3, BB, HR, 2 RBI; Garcia (PH) 1-1; Chavez 7.1 IP, 6 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 1 BB, 7 K and 1-3;

At least I knew it beforehand. How comforting.

A New York loss kept the Raccoons in first place, and then Tuesday brought the roster expansion. The Raccoons added three batters in Jesus Maldonado, Jeff Kilmer, and, reluctantly, Chiyosaku Maruyama as a bench bat. In terms of pitchers, Francisco Pena and Gene Tennis were supposed to reinforce the pen to the best of their abilities…

Game 2
POR: SS Trevino – 3B Myers – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Hooge – C Morales – 1B Stedham – 2B Brito – P Sabre
SFB: CF M. Castillo – LF Balderrama – RF P. Sanchez – 1B McGrath – SS Greer – 2B M. Hurtado – 3B Da – C Umanzor – P Viamontes

Mel Castillo and Pablo Sanchez doubles put San Fran up 1-0 in the first, and that was not the last loud contact against Sabre, who was at least temporarily taken off the hook in the third inning. Cosmo led off that inning by reaching first base, stole base #40, and then was singled home by Dave Myers, who managed to get thrown out trying to reach second base on the play. Yet, *after* that dumb out, Manny, Hooge, and Morales cobbled together a 2-out run, taking the lead, Stedham walked to fill the bases, but Brito struck out to leave them full. Viamontes continued to struggle, loading the bases in the fourth inning with nothing but walks, but when Hooge batted with three on and two outs, he lined out to Castillo.

While the defense kept a sub-par Sabre alive, the Raccoons had another (unearned) chance in the sixth inning when Cosmo hit a 1-out double to center and Myers reached on Greer’s error. Manny flew out to shallow center, Greenway grounded out, and again nobody scored, but I was once again gnawing on my Raccoons hat. A leadoff infield single by Balderrama, who stole his 15th base off a sleepy Morales, and then the 43-year-old Sanchez, who had once played with Moses and Nebuchadnezzar in the old, now defunct Mesopotamian League, doubled in the tying run. Two pops hindered the Bayhawks from roughing up Sabre in the inning, and the Raccoons escaped with a 2-2 tie on the board. Umanzor would knock out Sabre with a single in the seventh, but David Fernandez held the Bayhawks away, while seven was also the limit for Viamontes. Jose Brito hit a leadoff single to left off Jose Lerma in the eighth, but Fowler, Trevino, and Myers were retired in order to make me even sadder. The home team overcame Derek Barker for a leadoff walk drawn by Balderrama and another Sanchez RBI double in the bottom of the inning, and while the Raccoons tied the game off Jose Moreno in the ninth, they did so only on former Gold Glover Tony Coca’s clumsy error, dropping Hooge’s would-be-final-out fly ball for two bases, with Tony Morales knotting the game with a single to right. Travis Sims’ scoreless performance against the bottom of the order sent the game to extras.

Maldonado batted for Sims with one out in the 10th, singled off Moreno, and stole second base on the next pitch. The Bayhawks elected to walk Cosmo intentionally, then had Myers line out to Hurtado, causing me even greater chest pains – seriously, like an elephant balancing on one foot … ON my chest. Pressure relief came with Manny Fernandez’ slap single through the middle, scoring the quick Maldonado from second base, and breaking the 3-3 tie…! Greenway walked, but with the bases loaded Ed Hooge was robbed in the gap by Jaden Pridgeon, who had replaced Sanchez for D earlier. Then the Raccoons sent their closer… uh, Dennis Citriniti. Both Prieto and Soung had pitched two days in a row – Citriniti it was. He got two grounders before Pridgeon doubled to right, become an annoyance real fast, bringing up James Crawford as the winning run. Crawford was 26, and in his seventh major league appearance. He had one career base hit. He got ahead to 3-1, then hit a sharp grounder up the middle, Cosmo reached it, spun and tossed – and the runner was beaten by half a step! 4-3 Coons! Trevino 2-5, BB, 2B; Morales 2-5, 2 RBI; Maldonado (PH) 1-1;

Game 3
POR: 2B Trevino – 3B Myers – LF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – RF Greenway – C Garcia – 1B Stedham – SS Nickas – P Ottinger
SFB: CF M. Castillo – LF Balderrama – RF P. Sanchez – 1B McGrath – SS Greer – 2B M. Hurtado – 3B Da – C Umanzor – P Lipsky

Dave Myers’ jack gave the Raccoons an early 1-0 lead, although Mel Castillo’s single, stolen base, and two productive outs tied the game right away off Ottinger. Greer homered the following inning, 2-1 Bayhawks, and Lipsky’s leadoff double (…!!) and another two productive outs put the Bayhawks up 3-1 by the third. The Raccoons needed three hits by Fernandez, Greenway, and Morales to scratch out even one run in the fourth, and then Stedham and Nickas struck out on a total of six pitches to strand the other two runners.

Ottinger only ever allowed three hits and two walks, but somehow that was enough to be on the hook through six. His spot came up with one out and Stedham and Nickas in scoring position after a single off Lipsky, and a double off Matt Diduch, respectively. Ed Hooge batted for the pitcher and struck out, and Cosmo popped out ****tily all on his own. They didn’t want to win, and they wouldn’t win, and they probably would soon drop behind the Crusaders…

Two doubles off Derek Barker and a bloop single off Garavito by September call-up Oscar Calderon extended the Bayhawks’ lead to 5-2 in the bottom 7th, and pitching collapsed for good the following inning, with a single off Garavito, another single off Francisco Pena, then a 3-run homer to left by McGrath. The Raccoons scratched out a meaningless run they could have left tucked away under their stripey tails in the ninth, mostly the product of throwing a horde of right-handed pinch-hitters at Jesus Rodarte with no regards for personal safety. 8-3 Bayhawks. Garcia 2-4, 2B, RBI; Maruyama (PH) 1-1;

To put the cherry on top, Mauricio Garavito complained about discomfort after the game, and when we were back home on Thursday – our off day – and Dr. Chung approached be I braced for bad news, but wasn’t ready for Alberto Ramos having suffered a setback with his knee sprain and missing at least another week. Garavito was undiagnosed by the next game…

Raccoons (77-56) vs. Canadiens (66-66) – September 4-6, 2037

To deal in platitudes, this series could completely ruin our season now, although the Crusaders had been swept by the Falcons during the week, but won their game against the Titans on Thursday; Friday began with Portland holding a 1-game lead over the Crusaders, and a 2-game lead over the Indians.

Ten-and-a-half out and done were the damn Elks, but when had that ever stopped them from ruining EVERYTHING? They were sixth in runs scored, sixth in runs allowed, with a good rotation undone by a shabby pen and even worse defense, and when had being all-sixth ever been enough? Portland led the season series, 6-5, but that hadn’t stopped the Critters from losing the one against the Baybirds…

Projected matchups:
Bryce Sparkes (12-5, 2.89 ERA) vs. Corey Booth (10-9, 3.50 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (10-8, 3.30 ERA) vs. David Arias (9-2, 3.87 ERA)
Raffaello Sabre (9-5, 3.85 ERA) vs. Matt Sealock (10-8, 2.67 ERA)

We’d miss their only southpaw, Bryce Neal (9-11, 4.47 ERA), who had pitched on Wednesday. Like us, they had been off on Thursday. Unlike us, they were not cute and did not smell of roses when wet.

Game 1
VAN: 2B D.J. Robinson – LF LeJeune – C Clemente – RF R. Phillips – 1B J. Lopez – SS Cabral – CF Morrow – 3B Ashley – P Booth
POR: 2B Trevino – 3B Myers – LF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – RF Greenway – C Morales – 1B Stedham – SS Nickas – P Sparkes

****ing Jesse LeJeune hit a homer right away, and Timóteo Clemente’s single and Ryan Phillips’ double produced another run while Sparkes was getting whacked around in the first. None of which would surprise veteran Raccoons sufferers, really. (calmly spices his Capt’n Coma with some 10W motor oil) … Bottom 1st, Myers single, Manny getting brushed, and a Fowler single loaded the bases with one out for Greenway. Again, to nobody’s surprise – grounder to second, to short, to first, ta-dah, inning over. Such magicians…! Making every single ****ing scoring opportunity disappear for an entire week…

Amazingly the bases were loaded again in the bottom 2nd, then even with nobody out, after a Tony Morales double in the gap and two walks to Stedham and the runt of the litter, Nickas. Of course all that did was promoting Sparkes to the box, and his fly to center was too shallow to allow Morales a bid at home plate. Cosmo found an RBI single to right, and Myers and Fernandez found ****ty outs that scored zero runs between them.

Top 5th, the damn Elks had the bases loaded with one out. D.J. Robinson tripled, LeJeune legged out an infield single near the third base line that was too dicey to run on for Robinson, and Clemente drew a walk. Ryan Phillips popped out to second, and Johnny Lopez got rung up, proving that sucking in RISP situations was contagious, whereas all was well for the Raccoons in the bottom 5th with singles by Manny and Greenway… until they herewith reached scoring position, and Morales thus grounded out to second base to end the inning. Sparkes was hit for after six muddled innings, being bid farewell with Ray Ashley’s solo jack in the top 6th that put Elktown up 3-1. Booth kept pitching in the bottom 7th, being not challenged all that often, then walked Manny and nicked Fowler with two outs. Again, runner in scoring position – meaning that the franchise charter demanded that Troy Greenway had to turn into Green-K again or make the third out in some other horrendous way. He popped out on a 2-0. Doomed, the Raccoons fell behind 5-1 with Nate Ward on the mound in the eighth, Ryan Phillips chipping in a homer, but the Raccoons had one more tease in them. Bottom 9th, Cosmo and Myers hit leadoff singles off Jeremy Bloedow, bringing about a pitching change with Justin Fowler being the tying run in the on-deck circle. Right-hander Tim Zimmerman was sent in, got a grounder from Manny to third for the first out, and a grounder from Fowler to second that Robinson threw away quite grossly for a 2-base, 2-run error. Greenway lined out to LeJeune. Morales flew to left as well… and also into the glove of LeJeune. 5-3 Canadiens. Trevino 2-5, RBI; Myers 2-5; Maldonado (PH) 1-1;

(looks dejectedly at his oily concoction of a drink) Maud? – Do you still have one of those green sticks you put in the flower pots that kills… whatever? – I see. Nail polish remover? – No? – Maud, you’re not helpful.

(bends forward, resting the forehead on the desk while Maud, inside, and the head of the grounds crew, outside, simultaneously flick out the lights)

Game 2
VAN: 2B D.J. Robinson – LF LeJeune – C Clemente – RF R. Phillips – 1B J. Lopez – SS Cabral – CF Morrow – 3B Ashley – P D. Arias
POR: 2B Trevino – 3B Myers – LF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – RF Greenway – C Morales – 1B Stedham – SS Maldonado – P Chavez

A 2-out, 2-strike double by Phillips drove in LeJeune in the top 1st off Bernie Chavez, putting the Raccoons right back in their usual place for the week – trailing. The Critters did take the lead in the second, scoring two runs with an RBI groundout by Jesus Maldonado and a 2-out RBI single by Bernie Chavez, but putting anything to score on base had required David Arias to hitting consecutive batters to begin the inning… And while Bernie certainly looked like he would prefer nothing else to ridding himself of the shackles of being laden with the lead, the damn Elks couldn’t get the ball over the fence no matter how many deep flies he served up. Through five innings, they had only two base hits, and depending on your level of squeamishness between three and five alarming fly outs to the warning track area. Portland of course still didn’t have a base hit by a position player in the box score, in fact, through four innings only Dave Myers (among position players) reached base without risking bodily harm, having drawn a walk in the first inning. Bottom 5th, Maldonado got on from the leadoff position – getting wackoed by Arias, who by now heard some choice words from the Critters bench. I didn’t care much – I had hit JUST the right level of Capt’n Coma, antifreeze, and weight loss pills to feel like I was drifting on a cloud. Nothing came of the inning; Maldonado was caught stealing, and nobody else reached base.

Manny Fernandez hit a single in the sixth to break the batting corps’ hitless drought, and immediately after that Justin Fowler, who had entered the week on 98 RBI and was now at 98 RBI, hit into a 4-6-3 inning-ender. Arias nailed Stedham in the bottom 7th, which caused an audible shout of “watch your step, ****head” on the NWSN broadcast, and to me it sounded like Rich Vickers, but as zoomed out as I was, everything sounded like Rich Vickers. Maldonado grounded out, inning over. Bernie held the 2-1 lead through seven and two thirds before encountering the heavily left-leaning top of the order again. Yeom Soung was brought into the game in a double switch (with Kilmer), being asked for a 4-out save. He struck out Robinson to finish the eighth for the time being, after which Arias allowed runners to the corners with nobody out in the bottom 8th with Kilmer and Cosmo singling. Myers was at 3-2 before hitting a floater to LeJeune County, and the damn Elk DIDN’T reach it – RBI single, 3-1! And that was all they got, the middle of the order flunking out entirely once more. Soung struck out three in the ninth, though, and this one somehow became a W. 3-1 Blighters. Kilmer 1-1; Chavez 7.2 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 4 K, W (11-8) and 1-2, RBI;

Garavito was reported to have some mild elbow inflammation by Dr. Chung. He was supposed to miss only another week or so, and thus wasn’t put on the DL. It wasn’t like we needed the space anymore.

Or had to make serious playoff considerations if we continued to play like *that*.

Game 3
VAN: 2B D.J. Robinson – LF LeJeune – C Clemente – RF R. Phillips – 1B J. Lopez – SS Cabral – CF Morrow – 3B Schneider – P Sealock
POR: SS Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Fowler – C Morales – 3B Maldonado – 1B Stedham – 2B Brito – P Sabre

A sight to behold, that top of the first. D.J. Robinson singled, stole second, then scored on a LeJeune single – his soul shall be rotting and burning in hell until the end of time – who advanced on the throw home, then stole third and came home on Clemente’s grounder. Just like that, two singles for a 2-0 deficit. Somebody check whether Tony Morales still has his arms attached, and if so, I will be glad to brutally remove them. – I think my cocktail isn’t working anymore… Portland would however take a 4-2 lead in the bottom of the inning, in which Sealock gave up a leadoff jack to Cosmo, then walked two and surrendered a 3-run shot to Morales. – Alright, Cristiano, he can keep ONE arm!

Single, single, single – thus went the stupid Elks to begin the second inning as Sabre fooled absolutely nobody, not even Chad in the mascot, who interrupted his dance atop the Coons’ dugout when Brian Schneider singled to load the bases, holding both paws in front of his mouth – which was where his actual eyes where. Sabre threw a wild pitch to Sealock, 4-3, who lined out, then somehow whiffed Robinson. LeJeune was walked intentionally to get a right-hander to the plate, whom Sabre then drilled enthusiastically to tie the game. He was yanked after walking Phillips, sliding into a 5-4 hole. David Fernandez got a pop from Lopez, ending the inning. Bullpen day! (claps paws with a crummy expression)

Brian Schneider’s homer off Travis Sims made it 6-4 in the third, but the Raccoons had the tying runs aboard in the bottom of the inning, Greenway and Fowler shooting singles. Morales flew out, Maldonado was nicked to load the bases – whether indifference or continued inept pitching was up to interpretation – and Stedham batted with three aboard and no outs. Sealock fell to 2-0, then came inside, and that was the last pitch he threw, and lefty Mike Haertl would rub up a new one – GRAAAAAAAAAND SLAAAAAAAAAAM!!

Sims lasted three innings, which was the first positive surprise in - … okay, the second after the slam; in any case he maintained the 8-6 lead through four-and-a-half. Bottom 5th, leadoff single for Morales against the southpaw Haertl, who then hit Maldonado, who looked bruised like an apple that had tumbled down three sets of stairs by now. Stedham chased and whiffed, but Brito singled up the middle. Morales had a good jump and was sent to score, with the trailing runners reaching scoring position on the play, 9-6. Maruyama pinch-hit and walked, filling the bases for Cosmo, who was called out on strikes, but Manny grinded out a full count for a 2-out walk, getting the Coons into double digits, 10-6. Greenway added an RBI single before Fowler grounded out. Fowler remained in the game for two outs, collected by Pena, in the sixth, then was replaced in a double switch, with Gene Tennis tasked with lefty-bat removal as the damn Elks went back to the top of their order. It went pretty badly – he got three outs for the cost of two runs in the seventh inning, and left with Lopez on base and two outs, the score being 12-8 thanks to Brito’s sac fly in the bottom 6th. Nate Ward came on, nailed Eric Morrow, but got Maldonado (now in center) to catch Schneider’s fly, reaching the stretch in the 12-8 score. The Elks reached the corners against Barker in the eighth, but didn’t score, and were retired in order in the ninth. 12-8 Raccoons…? Greenway 2-4, BB, RBI; Morales 3-5, HR, 3 RBI; Maldonado 1-2, BB; Stedham 2-5, HR, 4 RBI; Brito 2-4, 2 RBI; Sims 3.0 IP, 2 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 2 K, W (3-2) and 1-1; Barker 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 2 K;

In other news

September 3 – PIT OF Ozzie Burgos (.313, 4 HR, 28 RBI) is out for the year with a concussion.
September 4 – The Capitals’ 1B Adam Avakian (.329, 21 HR, 93 RBI) has hit in 20 straight games, knocking out an RBI single in the Caps’ 6-1 loss to the Rebels.

FL Player of the Week: SAL CF/RF Armando Herrera (.314, 1 HR, 71 RBI), batting .520 (13-25) with 3 RBI
CL Player of the Week: SFB RF/LF Pablo Sanchez (.331, 6 HR, 43 RBI), hitting .560 (14-25) with 6 RBI

FL Hitter of the Month: DEN C Danny Zarate (.309, 18 HR, 84 RBI), batting .386, 4 HR, 16 RBI
CL Hitter of the Month: TIJ RF/LF/1B Willie Ojeda (.367, 13 HR, 86 RBI), batting .486, 4 HR, 26 RBI
FL Pitcher of the Month: TOP SP David Elliott (15-6, 2.70 ERA), tossing 5-0, 1.96 ERA, 30 K
CL Pitcher of the Month: CHA SP Keith Black (11-15, 3.75 ERA), tossing 5-1, 2.02 ERA, 34 K
FL Rookie of the Month: CIN C/1B Ricky Rodriguez (.302, 3 HR, 18 RBI), batting just as much
CL Rookie of the Month: OCT INF Al Martell (.229, 5 HR, 37 RBI), batting .222, 3 HR, 14 RBI

Complaints and stuff

Somehow, the baseball gods only know how, we’re up two games after this ruckus week where nothing really worked out. Not hitting, not pitching, certainly not fielding, and also not staying healthy, although again no terminal damage was done. However, Mauricio Garavito was expected to miss all of next week, and sometimes you just liked having a 15-year veteran around to calm everybody down. He had 679 appearances in the Bigs, all but 87 for the Critters (with his first five years in San Francisco including two cups of coffee and two sporadic applications)

We probably also wouldn’t win 102 games this year, but, eh, when have I ever been right?

Unsurprisingly, Tuesday’s was the first career save for Dennis Citriniti, a former waiver claim off the Warriors. Not that a star was born – he’d be a 29-year-old righty making the minimum next year… an easily replaceable ham-and-egger.

And here is the pennant chase table, with only three teams in the running:

POR (79-57) – BOS (6), IND (4), VAN (4), MIL (3), NYC (3), OCT (3), TIJ (3) – .496 – 62.9%
IND (77-59) – NYC (6), MIL (4), POR (4), ATL (3), BOS (3), LVA (3), VAN (3) – .510 – 27.0%
NYC (77-61) – IND (6), BOS (3), IND (3), MIL (3), OCT (3), POR (3), TIJ (3) – .504 – 10.1%

In the FL East, the Blue Sox looked invincible in mid-August. Since then they have gone 4-15 and while their lead is still commanding, that ship is trying hard to become the Mary Rose.

Fun Fact: With Tuesday’s win the Raccoons had claimed the season series against the Bayhawks, the fifth CL South team they had beaten out this year. Only the Condors (3-3) were missing from the list.

We previously won the season series against all CL South teams in 2026, which was a pretty good season, I dare say, and in 2010, which was fair, but we could have used pitching from somebody else but Nick Brown against the Cyclones…

Going back further, other seasons were the feat was achieved were 2007, which yielded no October baseball, but at least ended the Decade of Darkness, and 1996, which saw the Raccoons’ best-ever regular season record (108-54), but no cigar at the end, either.

[Bub13]

Originally Posted by Westheim

In the FL East, the Blue Sox looked invincible in mid-August. Since then they have gone 4-15 and while their lead is still commanding, that ship is trying hard to become the Mary Rose.

I love a good semi-obscure historical analogy.

[Westheim]

Raccoons (79-57) @ Titans (68-69) – September 8-10, 2037

After an off day, the Raccoons plunged into Boston, hoping not to get stepped on as they tried to hold off the Crusaders (who were up on the weekend) and the Indians. They were eighth in runs scored, but third in runs allowed, with a very good rotation; it had without a doubt been the old and moribund offense that had toppled them from their usual perch atop the division. The season series, however, was tied at six, and this was far from over.

Projected matchups:
Jared Ottinger (9-9, 3.68 ERA) vs. Andy Bressner (1-2, 5.30 ERA)
Bryce Sparkes (12-6, 2.94 ERA) vs. Mario Gonzalez (3-5, 3.15 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (11-8, 3.21 ERA) vs. Matt Brost (5-8, 4.17 ERA)

Right, left, right, including first-up two pitchers that had lost most of the year to injury.

The Critters were yet getting by on only four starting pitchers, but that would end by Saturday. So far it was *possible* that Colt Willes would come off his season-long DL vacation at this point, but he might not make it just as well. Anybody remember Colt Willes at all? Perhaps the saner approach would be to call up somebody from AAA, although that roster had been stripped down, or turn to Gene Tennis with utmost reluctance.

Game 1
POR: 2B Trevino – 3B Myers – LF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – RF Greenway – C Morales – 1B Stedham – SS Maldonado – P Ottinger
BOS: SS Gil – 3B Corder – RF M. Avila – LF W. Vega – C J. Herrera – CF Hawthorne – 1B Uliasz – 2B Sibley – P Bressner

Moises Avila’s triple came with two outs in the bottom 1st and led nowhere for the Titans, with the Raccoons eventually scoring the first run in the third inning with singles by Ottie (!) and Cosmo, although it ultimately took a 2-out error by ancient Justin Uliasz to get Ottie across. Fowler grounded out to short to end the inning. Ross Sibley, briefly a forgettable Raccoon a few years ago, hit a leadoff double in the bottom of the third inning, was bunted to third, but was thrown out at home plate on Antonio Gil’s fly to Fernandez in left. Ottie retired the first two batters in the fourth, then allowed singles to Willie Vega and Juan Herrera, walked George Hawthorne in a full count, I sighed, and then accepted Justin Uliasz’ inevitable 2-out, 2-run single like the Roman – looking for a suitable piece of dirt nearby to half-bury my sword, blade up, before two Titans attendants dragged me away.

The same part of the lineup finished off Ottinger in the sixth. Leadoff walk to Avila, a Herrera triple, and it was all downhill from there. Hawthorne’s grounder brought in the third Titans run, and while Uliasz struck out, the Critters brought in Gene Tennis against Sibley, who OBVIOUSLY hit a 2-out single to center, 4-1, before Bressner popped out. The game was pretty much dead at that point, with the Raccoons unable to get the balls to fall onto the green in the middle innings. Justin Fowler, who had gone the entire previous week without an RBI, hit a homer to left, but that was already leading off the eighth inning, getting the Raccoons to 4-2. In exchange, Uliasz hit a 2-run homer off Francisco Pena in the bottom of the inning… 6-2 Titans. Trevino 2-5; Myers 2-5; Morales 2-3;

Game 2
POR: SS Trevino – 3B Myers – LF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – C Garcia – 1B Stedham – 2B Vickers – RF Pinkerton – P Sparkes
BOS: SS Gil – 3B Corder – RF M. Avila – LF W. Vega – C J. Herrera – CF Hawthorne – 1B Uliasz – 2B Sibley – P M. Gonzalez

Gil drew a leadoff walk for Boston in the first, but was caught stealing between consecutive strikeouts for Sparkes. The following inning the Titans got a leadoff single from Willie Vega, Herrera hit a ball to the warning track in right for a double, and then the Titans went down strikeout, strikeout, strikeout – admittedly with an intentional walk to Sibley, who had that coonskinning gene in him, in between.

The Raccoons’ offense opened with four shambolic innings before getting the 7-8 batters aboard with consecutive 1-out singles in the fifth. Sparkes bunted into a force on Rich Vickers, but Trevino grounded out anyway, and I was slowly but surely overcome by a gloomy mood. Antonio Gil’s 1-out triple and Adam Corder’s well-placed grounder near second base then allowed Boston to take a 1-0 lead in the bottom of the inning, and I declared all of it lost before digging another hole for that sword. Sparkes would pitch seven innings of 4-hit ball without ever getting a sniff of a lead (the Raccoons never even reached third base…), before being hit for by Hooge to begin the top 8th, with right-hander Mike Hugh having replaced Gonzalez. Not that fresh blood changed anything – the Coons made three quick outs against three relievers in the inning. Prieto held the Titans to their 1-0 lead before southpaw Wyatt Hamill came in for the ninth inning. Manny Fernandez hit a liner over Uliasz for a leadoff single, which was one of those things that would get your hopes up before the mousetrap would snap on your feeble neck… Fowler struck out. Garcia grounded out, moving the runner to second, where Stedham left him with another K. 1-0 Titans. Trevino 2-4; Sparkes 7.0 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 4 BB, 7 K, L (12-7);

****ing hopeless.

Game 3
POR: 2B Trevino – 3B Myers – LF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – RF Greenway – C Morales – 1B Stedham – SS Maldonado – P B. Chavez
BOS: SS Gil – 3B Corder – RF M. Avila – LF W. Vega – C J. Herrera – CF Hawthorne – 1B Uliasz – 2B Sibley – P Willett

The Raccoons reached third base for the first time since Tuesday on singles by Fernandez and Fowler in the first, but Troy Greenway grounded out to Sibley and the inning ended on that account. While Bernie was almost obliterated by a Vega liner to begin the second, getting his glove up in front of his noggin’ for protective purposes only to find a ball in there, he at least wasn’t scored upon the first time through, and the Raccoons then were back on first and third with one out in the top 3rd after Cosmo and Myers dropped singles. All we got was a Fernandez sac fly, but it was better than ****ing nothing.

Boston tied the game in the fourth when Bernie gave up two near-bombs. Vega’s drive was caught by Greenway, bouncing off the wall in right, but Manny couldn’t reach Herrera’s ball in the gap, which fell for a double, followed by a Hawthorne single through the right side that got the run home. Uliasz popped out to end that inning, but it only got worse. Sibley hit a leadoff double over Fowler’s head to begin the bottom 5th, Bernie lost Willett’s bunt in translation, and then walked Gil. Three on, no outs, all was lost! Corder popped out, but the next three batters all got home a run – Avila singled, Vega walked on four pitches (…), and Herrera singled. Bernie was yanked at that point, with Citriniti getting a comebacker for a force out at home and then a K on Uliasz to escape inning, three runs too late, but then gave up a run with Sibley’s leadoff single and then assorted misfortunes in the sixth.

Down 4-1, then 5-1, the Raccoons did precious little. Greenway had a 2-out double in the sixth, which led nowhere; Brito and Trevino hit singles in the seventh, also with two outs, and Myers flew out to center harmlessly after that. Nate Ward loaded the bases while getting only one out in the bottom 8th, with Derek Barker then walking in a run against Moises Avila, while a Stedham error allowed another run across. The Raccoons did absolutely nothing in the last two innings. 7-1 Titans. Trevino 2-4; Brito (PH) 1-1;

Doom.

By then, the Indians had made up almost all their deficit and were only half a game behind the Critters after splitting two games with the Crusaders. Their Wednesday game was rained out and would only be made up on the last weekend of the season. Said Crusaders were now 1 1/2 games behind, and…

Raccoons (79-60) @ Crusaders (78-62) – September 11-13, 2037

The Crusaders still tried to make the playoffs while not breaking the top four in either runs scored or runs allowed, which was wicked, and now they got three free wins on the paws of the Raccoons. We had an 8-7 lead in the season series, but the Crusaders would take care of that.

Projected matchups:
Raffaello Sabre (9-5, 4.13 ERA) vs. Ignacio del Rio (16-8, 2.90 ERA)
Gene Tennis (2-2, 4.50 ERA) vs. Brian Frain (7-9, 3.89 ERA)
Jared Ottinger (9-10, 3.77 ERA) vs. Jeff Turi (11-11, 4.10 ERA)

So, the Coons brought up the melting Sabre, the crummy Tennis, and Ottie, who had lost three straight. New York had three right-handers, but of course led off with the ex-Coon del Rio, so we were surely done. Oh yeah, and of course they came into the series with two days off…

Game 1
POR: 2B Trevino – 3B Myers – RF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – LF Hooge – C Morales – 1B Stedham – SS Maldonado – P Sabre
NYC: CF L. Herrera – RF Botzet – C D. Phillips – 1B K. Henderson – LF Sato – SS Zeltser – 3B G. Ortiz – 2B Lira – P del Rio

The Raccoons did little to nothing in the first few innings, while Sabre already drilled Devin Phillips on an 0-2 pitch in the first. He second inning was worse; Greg Ortiz and Tony Lira hit 1-out singles, were bunted into scoring position, and driven in on a single over second base by Lorenzo Herrera. Sabre nailed Aaron Botzet for good measure before some kind soul made a play for him… When Maldonado was nailed to begin the third, the Raccoons could do nothing with the free runner, but the Crusaders scratched out another run with an infield single by Tony Lira to lead off the bottom 4th, with Botzet taking revenge smashing a 2-out RBI triple.

At that point the Raccoons still didn’t have a base hit and I had no idea where the offense had gone all of a sudden. The fifth was no better, with the Raccoons retired in order by del Rio before Kumanosuke Henderson, lead-footed AND old, hit a triple to center. Graciano Salto’s single got the run home with a single that Ed Hooge overran, and the inning dragged on until del Rio hit an RBI single with two outs past Maldonado, at which point Sabre was unceremoniously yanked after 4.2 innings, 11 hits, and five runs, all earned and deserved. Sims struck out Herrera to end the fifth, while the heretofore-hitless Raccoons got a 1-out double from Trevino in the sixth, then left him out there to die. That was his last base hit of Trevino’s year – he injured himself on a defensive play an inning later, was later found out to have a strained oblique, and was ruled out for the season.

The following half-inning, the Raccoons got a 1-out single from Rich Vickers in the #1 hole before Dave Myers hit a double to center – tumbling into second base and Bob Zeltser so violently that he, too, had to be removed from the game.

Preston Pinkerton now playing third base, Fernandez’ grounder to first and Fowler’s grounder to second ended the inning without a run scoring, and the best the team could do was to get Morales and Stedham into scoring position on another pair of base hits with one down in the ninth, finally chasing the much too smug del Rio. A run scored on Maldonado’s groundout against Julian Ponce, and that was ****ing everything. 5-1 Crusaders. Vickers 1-1; Morales 2-3, BB; Ward 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 2 K;

And that, my kids – (noisily closes tome of gruesome fairy tales) – is how this season ended.

Now, the Indians lost on Friday, but the Raccoons were now only half a game ahead of both their competitors, and with Trevino certainly lost for the season, Myers undiagnosed as of now, and the rotation having turned to mush at the same time the offense had disappeared in quicksand, the season was over.

There was NO WAY they’d win on Saturday with Tennis on the mound and the lineup decimated like that. Yes, Alberto Ramos was activated on Saturday and exchanged places on the DL with Trevino – but there was no discussion how Trevino had seen the much better season.

And who knows how long until Berto breaks both legs putting on pants…

Game 2
POR: SS Ramos – C Garcia – RF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – LF Hooge – 1B Stedham – 3B Maldonado – 2B Vickers – P Tennis
NYC: CF L. Herrera – RF Botzet – LF Salto – 1B K. Henderson – 3B G. Ortiz – C D. Phillips – SS Zeltser – 2B Reynoza – P Frain

Hooge, Stedham, Maldonado – all reached base to begin the second inning, and Ed Hooge was also thrown out at home plate by Herrera, trying to score on the Maldonado single. The remaining runners moved up before Rich Vickers slapped a double up the leftfield line, the first genuinely big hit this ****ing team had gotten in eons. Vickers reached third base on a ball Tennis served into shallow left for a single, then scored on Frain’s wild pitch, 3-0. Berto walked, but the inning fizzled out on a pop and a K, and then the Raccoons still had to contend with their own starting pitcher, who put Henderson and Ortiz on the corners to begin the bottom 2nd. Bob Zeltser, another recent Raccoon harboring some sort of grudge, hit a 2-run double past Fowler, but Manuel Reynoza and Brian Frain both failed to hit a homer, which was *shocking* at this point.

The next Raccoons run was a Maldonado sac fly in the third, while the next Crusaders run came in the fourth, when Tennis walked Frain with the bases loaded and two outs (…!); the run was unearned, courtesy of an error by rusty Ramos that put Phillips on base. Tennis then added Zelts and Reynoza. Somehow Herrera popped out, leaving the Raccoons dangling with a 4-3 lead.

Vickers sent a ball yard with one out in the sixth, extending the lead to 5-3, and Tennis was hit for immediately after that. Maruyama grounded out in his place, while Berto singled with two outs against Josh Brown. Zeltser mishandled a Garcia grounder to extend the inning, but the team that would have pounced even last week was no more. Fernandez flew out gingerly to Botzet, and two more runners were stranded. Barker pitched a clean sixth, while David Fernandez put Herrera on with a single. Prieto replaced him with two outs and fanned Salto, ending the seventh, then put two on in the eighth before escaping on Zeltser’s 4-6-3 double play. The Raccoons couldn’t score against the bullpen in the late innings, but at least they could get Soung into the game with a lead – but he had pitched for two outs the night before just to get work, not having faced any Titan midweek. Reynoza singled. He walked Michael Duryea. Herrera then hit a ball off the wall in the right corner that sent Greenway back, then back in as he chased after the carom. The tying runs scored, Herrera had a triple, and everything was coming apart. Ricky Tello struck out, after which the Raccoons pulled a desperate lever – Salto and Henderson were BOTH walked intentionally to get forces, and get Soung to face Ben Putz in the #5 hole. Josh Stephenson batted for that guy, though, ran a 3-2 count, then spanked a ball at Berto. Ramos knocked it down, fired home, and the winning run was slapped out by Morales. Devin Phillips lined out, and the game went to extras, where Ed Hooge hit a leadoff double and was stranded.

The 11th and 12th were handled by Citriniti, while the offense was positively useless. It didn’t help that Fowler had been lifted for defense earlier in the game. The 13th was the third inning of work for New York’s Michael Zabek. The right-hander allowed a leadoff single to Greenway in the #9 hole in the inning, then walked Berto. Tony Morales got a bad pitch and actually FOUND the damn thing, hitting it over the fence for a 3-run homer. BUT NOW, BOYS. No excuses. NOW. Of course, being almost out of arms didn’t help. The Raccoons had an 8-5 lead in the bottom 13th, but nobody to pitch. The only guys left in the pen were Ward, Sims, and Pena. All three had pitched on Friday, and all but Pena had pitched two days in a row. Pena it was… The Raccoons’ lead in the division would live or die with a gruesome rookie with a 9.75 ERA! Shortstop Andy Hendrix hit a double on his second pitch, bringing up the top of the lineup. Herrera’s fly was caught by Hooge, but Vickers then fumbled a Dan Rule liner for an error, and Salto (.294, 20 HR, 75 RBI) stepped in as the tying run. C’est la vie. Salto hit a LOUD fly to right on Pena’s first pitch, but it was too high and not long enough; Greenway caught it in right, and the Crusaders settled for the sac fly. Kumanosuke Henderson? LOUD fly on the very next pitch, to center, Hooge back – and he made the catch, flying and braking with his nose in the dirt, but holding on to the ball. 8-6 Critters. Morales 1-3, HR, 3 RBI; Hooge 5-7, 2 2B; Vickers 2-5, BB, HR, 2B, 3 RBI; Citriniti 2.0 IP, 0 H; 0 R, 2 BB, 2 K, W (2-0);

First career save for Pena. And by god, it was something… (sinks exhausted into a clubhouse attendant’s arms)

The Indians lost again, which ensured the Raccoons to hold onto first place through Sunday, but at what cost… at what cost? All my nerves for sure, and then some.

Changes for Sunday included Mauricio Garavito being available for the first time in over a week, and Colt Willes being activated from the DL; he’d be worked in the next blowout for two innings of rehab work, and the next blowout for this team could only be minutes away. No news on Myers. Was Dr. Chung even on that? Had anybody SEEN Dr. Chung?

Game 3
POR: SS Ramos – C Morales – RF Greenway – CF Fowler – LF Hooge – 1B Stedham – 3B Maldonado – 2B Vickers – P Ottinger
NYC: CF L. Herrera – RF Botzet – 1B K. Henderson – LF Salto – SS Zeltser – 3B G. Ortiz – C Duryea – 2B Lira – P Turi

Both hurlers faced the minimum the first time through in the rubber game, and both had their only runner (Maldonado; Herrera) caught stealing. Botzet would hit a single, the Crusaders’ first hit, in the fourth, but also stranded in what was a pitchers’ duel only when looked at from afar and not beyond the line scores. Both had only one strikeout, relying heavily on defense. Hooge doubled in the fifth, but was left on, and the Crusaders had two singles off Ottie, as well as a double play grounder.

Jose Brito opened the sixth with a leadoff single through the left side, then was bunted to second. Ramos hit a comebacker, which was awful, and Turi hit Morales with a pitch, which brought up Greenway, but he had one of his absent weeks, hit a fly to left, but Salto was there and caught it. Ottie held up, getting the Raccoons clean through seven, still in a scoreless game. Turi was also still going on a 3-hitter, but gave up another single to Brito with one out in the eighth. Manny Fernandez pinch-hit for Ottinger, singled by Lira, and the Raccoons moved the go-ahead run to second base. Berto up, and the 1-1 was ticked up the middle. Zeltser dove, missed it, and the ball slowly made its way to a racing Herrera, while Brito was waved around third base and scored! He drew a throw, the runners alertly moved up into scoring position, and then Morales found another hanger and BELTED it over the fence! HOME RUN!! HOME RUN!!!! (runs around screaming at Crusaders patrons in the luxury bar place) HOME RUN!!

This was no spot to toss Willes into the water and see whether he’d swim or sink; the Raccoons HAD TO WIN THIS GAME. Derek Barker got into the #4 spot with Fowler removed for D after ending the inning with a long out. Prieto and both usual left-handers were also available to mix and match. Garavito got his turn in the inning, appearing against PH Andy Montes with two outs and Duryea on second after a 1-out double to left. Montes grounded out, ending the eighth. The bottom of the order then burned Josh Brown all over with two outs in the ninth. Maldonado doubled, Brito walked, and Manny smashed another 3-piece to extend the lead to seven – leading to another reconsideration. Now the Raccoons DID go to Willes for an inning in relief. How much damage could he do?? He loaded the bases before we stopped trying to find out, getting only a pop from Herrera before the Crusaders went walk, single, walk on him. David Fernandez came in, having warmed up already, got a comebacker from Zeltser for a force out at home, then walked Ortiz to force in a run. And Duryea, too, forcing in another run. A passed ball on Morales plated a run. And then Fernandez walked Lira. The tying run was up in Devin Phillips, with Prieto coming in. He walked Phillips, forcing in another run. The patrons frequenting the luxury bar began to chant “WALK!! WALK!!” at that point, but Herrera fell to 2-2 against Prieto before hitting a gapper to right-center, and I screamed, and they screamed, and then HOOGE OUT OF NOWHERE AND HE MADE THE CATCH OH MY GOD I CAN’T – 7-4 Raccoons. Maldonado 2-4, 2B; Brito 2-3, BB; M. Fernandez (PH) 2-2, HR, 3 RBI; Ottinger 7.0 IP, 3 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 5 K, W (10-10);

In other news

September 7 – VAN 2B/OF Eric Morrow (.237, 10 HR, 45 RBI) hits a homer for the only score in a 1-0 win over the Loggers.
September 8 – SFW SS Jesus Matos (.261, 10 HR, 42 RBI) goes down with a broken rib and won’t return this season.
September 9 – WAS 1B Adam Avakian (.332, 23 HR, 100 RBI) has his hitting streak end at 24 games in a 9-4 win over the Buffaloes. Avakian goes 0-for-3 in the day.
September 11 – DAL OF/1B Ryan Cassell (.315, 12 HR, 71 RBI) is out with a broken kneecap, but will have all winter to heal.
September 13 – The Warriors’ 3B/2B Nick Rozenboom (.341, 10 HR, 43 RBI) has a 20-game hitting streak, knocking out two base hits in a 13-1 blowout suffered by the Warriors against the Wolves.
September 13 – Also with a 20-game hitting streak: DAL 2B/SS Hugo Acosta (.368, 0 HR, 82 RBI), who has one hit in a 1-0 loss to the Pacifics. That run? Not scored until the 14h inning on utility Luis Allucingoli (.167, 0 HR, 2 RBI) dropping in a walkoff single.

FL Player of the Week: SFW 3B/2B Nick Rozenboom (.341, 10 HR, 43 RBI), hitting .543 (19-35), 1 HR, 6 RBI
CL Player of the Week: VAN 2B/OF Eric Morrow (.243, 13 HR, 56 RBI), swatting .370 (10-27), 4 HR, 12 RBI

Complaints and stuff

(breathes heavily under oxygen mask on the airplane)

(briefly takes the mask off) That was … this week was … (puts the mask back on)

(briefly takes the mask off) Ottie threw only *73* pitches before being pulled on Sunday, getting the W as a result, which means he *could* go on short rest, meaning we can delay Willes/Tennis another day next week. Minor thing. (puts the mask back on)

(briefly takes the mask off) Oh, woe is me! (puts the mask back on)

(briefly takes the mask off) Yes, Madam Stewardess, I know, the plane has not taken off yet. – Is it unlawful to breath into this mask? – Well, no, I’m not well. – Did you see the Raccoons game today? – No, baseball. – I guessed you had never heard of them. – Thank you. (puts the mask back on)

(briefly takes the mask off) First career save for Pena on Saturday, and I never want to see him get another one… (puts the mask back on)

(slumps into seat)

POR (81-61) – IND (4), VAN (4), BOS (3), MIL (3), OCT (3), TIJ (3) – .488 – 65.3% (+2.4%)
IND (78-63) – MIL (4), NYC (4), POR (4), ATL (3), BOS (3), LVA (3) – .506 – 18.8% (-8.2%)
NYC (79-64) – IND (4), BOS (3), IND (3), MIL (3), OCT (3), TIJ (3) – .486 – 15.4% (+5.3%)

Fun Fact: On June 26, 2007, the Raccoons held a 10 1/2 game lead over the Crusaders.

Then blew it.

(twitches)

[Westheim]

Raccoons (81-61) @ Canadiens (73-69) – September 14-17, 2037

The Raccoons made for Vancouver at the worst of all times, hanging in the ropes already and waiting for the count to reach ten. The damn Elks were fifth in runs scored and seventh in runs allowed with a decent, but insufficient +35 run differential (Coons: +94), but the Raccoons led the season series, 8-6; whatever that meant – all my hopes had died, or had strained an oblique the previous week.

Projected matchups:
Bryce Sparkes (12-7, 2.88 ERA) vs. Corey Booth (12-9, 3.30 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (11-9, 3.28 ERA) vs. David Arias (9-4, 3.92 ERA)
Raffaello Sabre (9-6, 4.31 ERA) vs. Matt Sealock (11-9, 2.94 ERA)
Gene Tennis (2-2, 4.40 ERA) vs. Eric Weitz (15-10, 3.20 ERA)

We’d get all their right-handers, missing southpaw Bryce Neal (10-11, 4.21 ERA), not that I was crying about that. We’d also not see regulars Jerry Outram (labrum) and D.J. Robinson (hip), who were out for the year; Eric Morrow had won Player of the Week the last seven days, but was also nursing a tight hamstring.

Not that the Raccoons had it easy; Dr. Chung had yet to find out what had befallen Dave Myers, and Cosmo Trevino was out for the season regardless. And then there was all the high-level sucking that overcome them…

Game 1
POR: SS Ramos – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Fowler – 1B Stedham – 2B Vickers – 3B Maldonado – C Kilmer – P Sparkes
VAN: 2B Morrow – LF LeJeune – C Clemente – RF R. Phillips – SS Cabral – CF Carpenter – 1B Mezzanotte – 3B Schneider – P Booth

The first Raccoon to reach was Jesse Stedham, dinking a single behind Brian Schneider in the second inning. Rich Vickers ran a 3-0 count before poking into a double play for which he should be shot and I would drive to Raccoons Ballpark on Tuesday morning and clean the blunderbuss for that purpose, but right now I was busy huddling up on the couch with tissues, Honeypaws, and a whole pot of instant mac and cheese that looked like enough for a family of five. The tissues soon came in handy when Ryan Phillips yoinked one off Sparkes for a 1-0 Elks lead in the bottom 2nd. Sparkes then bunted into a double play after Jeff Kilmer reached on an error, and Booth faced the minimum through three innings. Good times.

Portland tied the game with two outs in the fourth inning. Greenway slapped a double down the line, but only reached third base on a soft Fowler single. Stedham sent a single up the middle, though, bringing in (only) his 56th run of the season. Vickers flew out to Nick Carpenter, stranding two, and Jesus Maldonado was robbed in the gap by Phillips the following inning, taking away extra bases at the start of the fifth. Meanwhile, entirely unnoticed by most, Bryce Sparkes pitched a rather dandy game – the Phillips homer aside, the Elks did not get another base hit until with two outs in the sixth, when Eric Morrow hit a single to left. Sparkes struck out only three, but generated a lot of poor contact that was easily collected by the infielders. Morrow stole second, scored on the inevitable Jesse LeJeune’s inevitable single to center, and the Raccoons were trailing again. Timóteo Clemente grounded to short, but what hope was there, really?

Leadoff walks to Stedham and Vickers – the latter at 3-0, and with the first base coach holding up a cardboard sign reaching “NO!!!” – put traffic on the bases for Booth in the seventh. Maldonado singled to right, loading the bases with nobody out, a.k.a. time to bat for Kilmer. Ed Hooge came out, hit a sac fly on 0-2, tying the game, and then Tony Morales batted for Sparkes on a necessary off day (necessary enough to sit him after two 3-run homers in two games), also found himself 0-2 behind, and hit another 3-run homer! This one to dead center, and putting the Critters up 5-2! Things then got dicey – because the pen had seen some … “wear” in New York. The damn Elks had three left-handers up in the eighth, and three right-handers in the ninth, and their bench wasn’t endless. The Raccoons thus sent Yeom Soung into the eighth, and lined up Citriniti for the ninth (Prieto being unavailable). Soung did his part, retiring the 4-5-6 in order with 2 K in the bottom 8th, but Citriniti walked Dusty Mezzanotte – who was batting .180 and in line for a One Hit Wonder in memoriam baseball card – to begin the ninth. Schneider popped out, after which .429 hitter (in limited exposure) and left-hander Luis Amezquita appeared in the #9 hole and legged out an infield single. Morrow struck out. When the damn Elks sent left-hander Fernando Alba to pinch-hit, the Raccoons pulled one of their last rested relievers – Mauricio Garavito. Strikeout – ballgame. 5-2 Raccoons. Greenway 2-3, BB, 2B; Stedham 2-3, BB, RBI; Morales (PH) 1-1, HR, 3 RBI; Sparkes 6.0 IP, 3 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 0 BB, 3 K, W (13-7);

New York was idle awaiting Boston, while Indy lost to the Loggers, thus giving the Raccoons at least a 3-game lead in the division.

And just when I started to unclench after the game, Dr. Chung called me from Elk City that he was sending Dave Myers home with back spasms that were not treatable by him sleeping on a hard surface for three days. He was lost for the season, plunging the Raccoons into the spiritual abyss for good. They were assured to play their last 19 games without a genuine #2 hitter.

Game 2
POR: SS Ramos – C Morales – LF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – RF Greenway – 1B Stedham – 3B Maldonado – 2B Brito – P Chavez
VAN: CF A. Perez – LF LeJeune – RF Phillips – 1B J. Lopez – 2B Morrow – C James – SS Serrano – 3B Ashley – P D. Arias

…which was the point where every reasonably warm paw would get a chance, that being Tony Morales on Tuesday, where Bernie Chavez loaded the bases with two first-pitch singles, a full-count walk, and one out in the bottom 1st and then struck out Morrow and grounded out Derek James to escape the mess. That was already the most offense any team put up early. While they played five innings and I dug my way through eight packs of white bread with three pounds of liverwurst, nobody scored; the Raccoons totalled three hits, while the damn Elks tallied three hits after the James groundout, and all fairly well spaced. Offense then came in the way of a 3-run homer again, and once more for the good guys, when Troy Greenway collected Morales (single) and Fernandez (walk) with two outs in the top of the sixth.

While Bernie kept pitching a non-flashy, but successful game through six, the Raccoons got Maldonado and Brito on in the seventh. Their double steal gave Brito his first career steal (not that he’d ever reach 500 for it), and when Bernie flew out to left, Maldonado scored on the sac fly, and LeJeune’s bad throw allowed Brito to third base, aiding him in coming home on Morales’ 2-out single to right. Berto had struck out in between and Manny grounded out to end the inning, with the score at the stretch being 5-0. Bernie was on 83 pitches, so a shutout was not likely, but he kept the board clean through seven and had a run tacked on with a Stedham homer in the top of the eighth, coming off Alex Aguilar. A Brito error would then complicate the eighth inning to the point where Bernie Chavez reached 108 pitches, and the Raccoons were not willing to risk a fatigue injury at this point. They needed all the stripes they still had on the field. Nate Ward finished off the damn Elks in the ninth. 6-0 Raccoons! Morales 2-4, RBI; Brito 2-4; Chavez 8.0 IP, 6 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 5 K, W (12-9);

Indy won, staying 3 1/2 behind, while the Crusaders lost their opener and dropped to four games out.

POR: SS Ramos – C Morales – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Hooge – 3B Maldonado – 1B Maruyama – 2B Nickas – P Sabre
VAN: CF A. Perez – 2B Morrow – C Clemente – RF R. Phillips – 1B J. Lopez – SS Cabral – LF Korecky – 3B Ashley – P Sealock

If the Raccoons wanted to get anywhere (now or in October) they had to get Raffaello Sabre turned north again. He came off two straight 5-run ravagings and had only pitched a good game and a half in his last seven. Predictably, giving the environs, he melted down in the second inning, which began with Johnny Lopez and Ramon Cabral hits that put them in scoring position, a 2-run single by Will Korecky, a grim throwing error by Maldonado that scored the third run, and a 2-out Morrow single to make it 4-0, at which point I was no longer in the mood for the large fruit basket with an extra helping of vanilla sauce I had bought earlier. Even Honeypaws looked kinda pale around the snout… Two runs were unearned, but that would not be a bullet point for playoff considerations relative to the Indians and Crusaders… It was more about the eternal question of shooting for merely flogging.

Nickas’ leadoff walk and him scoring on Ramos’ single got the Raccoons on the board in the third inning, but more offense was needed, and against a firmly resisting Sealock was hard to come by. Berto hit a double in the sixth, representing the next time a Raccoon reached scoring position, but was left there by Morales and Manny. Sabre managed to pitch into the seventh after the early clubbing, and was removed after a 2-out Morrow single. Barker allowed the only batter he faced on base, but Phillips popped out against David Fernandez. The Raccoons sent Colt Willes into the eighth inning, saw him give up murderous bombs to Lopez and Cabral, and worried. 6-1 Canadiens. Ramos 2-4, 2B, RBI; Maldonado 2-3, 2B; Nickas 0-1, 2 BB;

The good news was that nobody broke their little neck and that the competition lost as well. At this point the Titans were beginning to creep back into the picture…!

The Raccoons would not see a left-hander on the weekend (barring surprises) and thus could be liberal with the starting catching assignments. Morales, who had not hit a 3-run homer in two games, got one more game in the #2 hole, and we’d likely try Maldonado behind Berto on Friday.

Game 4
POR: SS Ramos – C Morales – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Fowler – 3B Maldonado – 1B Stedham – 2B Brito – P Tennis
VAN: SS Cabral – LF Amezquita – 1B J. Lopez – C Clemente – RF R. Phillips – CF LeJeune – 2B L. Castillo – 3B Ashley – P Weitz

I ordered stew for twelve at the nearby Asian place and it arrived just in time for the first pitch; Gene Tennis then promptly put a pair on base, and was saved only by Fernandez throwing out Amezquita at the plate to end the bottom 1st. Justin Fowler however opened the top 2nd with a homer to right, his 33rd of the year and also FINALLY getting him to 100 RBI for the season. That was about the extent of early offense, though. The Raccoons twice got Berto on base, he stole a bag, and wasn’t scored once, let alone twice, and that was about their box score entries through five innings. Tennis lumbered on clumsily, keeping the Elks away through four inning, but they opened the fifth with straight hits by LeJeune, Luis Castillo, and Ray Ashley. The latter was to left, LeJeune was sent – and thrown out by Fernandez, who logged his second assist of the game. The trailing runners reached scoring position, but with the pitcher at the plate. Weitz fanned against Tennis, the left-handed Cabral came up, and bounced out to Brito. PHEW!! And – mmm, stew!

More offense would have been lovely, but wasn’t on the menu, and Tennis fell apart for good in the sixth. Amezquita singled, Lopez walked, Clemente hit a double, and the game was tied. All three runs scored; one more on a grounder off Tennis, and the third on Ward serving a single to Castillo, putting the Raccoons in a 3-1 hole. Eric Weitz unhelpfully retired Portland in order twice more, and they faced Tim Zimmerman in the ninth inning. Troy Greenway led off by falling to 1-2 before hitting a drive to right for a – fair? foul? … Home run! One more to tie, boys, I yelled, shaking my stewy spoon. Fowler singled, putting the tying run on base, but Zimmerman struck out the next two before Ed Hooge batted for Brito… and grounded out to short. 3-2 Canadiens. Fowler 2-3, HR, RBI;

(sigh!) When it came to teasing, they were sure a playoff team.

The Indians won, so the division narrowed to 2 1/2 games, and with another Titans win, they moved to six games out. I hated to say it, but they were making a last-ditch run for it AND we’d play them to end the year.

Raccoons (83-63) vs. Condors (73-73) – September 18-20, 2037

The Condors were considered done at eight games out, but the Titans had been pronounced dead just as well and were zooming back into the race. Tijuana had the most runs scored in the CL, but also the second-most runs allowed. Their once-formidable pitching staff had completely come apart at the seams and nothing had helped fix the problem. The season series was tied at three.

Projected matchups:
Jared Ottinger (10-10, 3.62 ERA) vs. George Griffin (7-11, 5.59 ERA)
Bryce Sparkes (13-7, 2.88 ERA) vs. Greg Fischer (9-8, 5.79 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (12-9, 3.15 ERA) vs. Omar Uribe (7-17, 4.73 ERA)

We got the worst bits of their stuff, but beware those 17-loss tossers! All of the bunch were right-handed.

Game 1
TIJ: CF C. Boles – SS Bunyon – RF Willie Ojeda – LF J. Williams – 1B Zuazo – 3B Sanks – 2B Ragsdale – C Kumle – P Griffin
POR: SS Ramos – 3B Maldonado – LF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – RF Greenway – C Garcia – 1B Stedham – 2B Vickers – P Ottinger

I was piqued to see what somebody named Dylan Ragsdale could do to Ottie – exactly the type of ho-hum youngster that could tear the Raccoons apart at a critical junction! He struck out the first time up, but by that time the Condors led 1-0 on a solo home run by Alvin Zuazo. The Raccoons responded (!!) with Fowler singling and Greenway homering to right in the bottom of the same inning (!!), taking a 2-1 lead, before Ottinger blew it in the next half-inning, with Chris Boles, Willie Ojeda, and Alvin Zuazo ripping him for a single and two RBI doubles. The Raccoons went on to do nothing with leadoff base runners Jesus Maldonado in the third and Fernando Garcia in the fourth, then saw Ottinger dismembered in the top 5th, with Donovan Bunyon and Justin Williams having a single and RBI double, respectively, and then Zuazo hit his second home run of the game.

Down 6-2, the Raccoons sent Pena to stall and prepared Willes for another rehab outing under live fire. Willes entered for the sixth inning and remained woefully ****. He walked leadoff man George Kumle, allowed a pinch-hit RBI triple to Giacomino Vitalini, walked Bunyon, and gave up the Vitalini run on an Ojeda grounder, 8-2, and another RBI triple to Bunyon in the eighth, being lifted after three catastrophic innings, which at least hadn’t undone a splendid 4-run Raccoons rally, because they hadn’t even been on base in any notable capacity during Willes’ time getting blasted. The Raccoons eeked out a sac fly in the bottom of the ninth, and otherwise lost silently for their part. 9-3 Condors. Garcia 0-1, 3 BB;

The good news… Indy and New York lost AGAIN. Boston was now within five games, though.

Can anybody hear play this game?

Game 2
TIJ: CF C. Boles – SS Bunyon – RF Willie Ojeda – LF J. Williams – 1B Zuazo – 3B Sanks – 2B Shay – C N. Howell – P Fischer
POR: SS Ramos – C Morales – LF Hooge – RF Greenway – 1B Stedham – CF Maldonado – 2B Vickers – 3B Pinkerton – P Sparkes

Berto singled and stole a base in the first inning, but found nobody aiding him with the roundtrip. The Raccoons remained stale and dry the first time through, and while Sparkes managed to see the minimum with one double play turned and one base runner (Ojeda) thrown out by Morales, he still gave up a single to Boles and a double to Bunyon to begin the fourth. Willie Ojeda hit a sac fly, 1-0, but Bunyon was left on base after poor outs by Williams and Zuazo. Ed Hooge’s leadoff jack tied the game in the bottom 4th, and while Maldonado hit a 2-out triple there was a) nobody on base, and b) Vickers struck out.

The Raccoons got a gift chance in the bottom 5th with Preston Pinkerton’s leadoff single allowing Sparkes to bunt. Greg Fischer threw that bunt away, and now the Raccoons had them on second and third with nobody out and the top of the order coming up. Berto lined out to Chris Boles in center, but at least got Hooge in with the sac fly. Morales’ single put runners on the corners. Hooge’s grounder to short looked good for two, but Bunyon’s toss to Adam Shay was a bit off and took away the double play – Sparkes scored, and Hooge reached first base safely, then was caught stealing to end the inning.

Sparkes labored around a leadoff single by Boles, with the runner replaced twice on fielder’s choices, walked Williams, and rung up Zuazo in an endless sixth inning that almost consumed his pitch count. Greenway opened the bottom 6th with a jack to right, extending the lead to 4-1, and Sparkes would retire the next four Condors in order before arriving at the top of the order again where mostly left-handed batters lived, all of them making the Coons’ little lives a living hell. David Fernandez got the assignment, gave up two soft singles, then a run on Ojeda’s sac fly. Far from ideal, but at least he got out of the inning eventually… Against the righty part of the lineup, the Raccoons sent Prieto in the ninth. The ****ing skunk weasel, Shane Sanks, hit a 1-out triple to leftfield to get the tying run to the plate, scored on Shay’s grounder, but at least we were only one out away. When Josh Turley, a 29-year-old AAA denizen, pinch-hit for Nick Howell, the Raccoons sent Soung after all against the left-handed batter. He promptly gave up a single… but struck out Vitalini after that. 4-3 Raccoons. Stedham 2-4, 2B; Maldonado 1-2, BB, 3B; Pinkerton 1-2, BB; Sparkes 7.1 IP, 7 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 8 K, W (14-7);

(EXHALE)

In a major breakthrough, the Indians lost their game in Vegas, dropping to 3 1/2 games out. Crusaders and Titans held the stations at four and five, respectively, so this assured the Raccoons to improve their position at the end of the week compared to Monday morning, if nothing else.

We’d still like to not soil the carpet facing a 17-game loser, though…

Game 3
TIJ: 1B Zuazo – SS Bunyon – RF Willie Ojeda – LF J. Williams – 2B Bensinger – CF Stubblefield – 3B Quintanilla – C N. Howell – P Uribe
POR: SS Ramos – C Morales – LF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – RF Greenway – 3B Maldonado – 1B Stedham – 2B Brito – P

Bernie threw four pitches, left with back pain, and the Raccoons were in trouble. Me personally, I couldn’t find the cyanide capsule I had stashed away somewhere. Personal issues notwithstanding – the Raccoons had a bullpen day on their paws, and it didn’t look like it was going to be pretty. Derek Barker was brought in first and got the lead after navigating his way out of the inning when Berto walked, stole his 30th base of the year, and scored on Manny’s single to right. Fernandez scored on 2-out singles by Greenway and Maldonado, Stedham walked, but with the bases loaded Brito ground out to Zuazo and the Raccoons missed the chance to deal a big blow right away, getting only two runs. Barker conceded a run against the bottom of the order in the top half of the second, but then the Condors made consecutive errors to put Berto and Morales on base with one down in the bottom 2nd! Manny grounded into a fielder’s choice, but Fowler shoved an RBI double through Victor Quintanilla, who had scored the Condors’ run earlier. The Coons got a fourth run on a wild pitch. Tijuana again reclaimed a run in the following half-inning, this time in unearned fashion as Brito’s defense also melted down for a 2-base throwing error that threatened to unhorse Barker before he retired Jason Bensinger and Marquis Stubblefield to end the inning.

The 4-2 lead barely survived a Pena appearance in the fourth, with Quintanilla and Howell reaching base on a walk and a single with nobody out. A grounder, a pop, and Garavito getting a fly to center that Fowler could reach off Bunyon’s bat starved the tying runs in scoring position, but Ojeda hit a homer off Garavito in the fifth, and the score narrowed to 4-3. With the Raccoons’ offense haven walked off work after the four early runs, the reliever parade kept the Condors in check. The parade continued with Ward, David Fernandez, and then Citriniti to cover eight innings. Brito and Berto singles in the bottom 8th led nowhere nice, and the 4-3 lead went to Soung once Turley was introduced as pinch-hitter leading off the ninth inning. He lined out to Berto, who also handled the pinch-hitting skunk weasel’s grounder for an out. Zuazo got screwed on a screwball, and the Raccoons eeked out another win. 4-3 Critters! Maldonado 2-4, RBI; D. Fernandez 1.2 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 3 K;

In other news

September 15 – LVA C Ken Wiersma (.262, 5 HR, 22 RBI) goes yard for the only tally in the Aces’ 1-0 win over the Condors.
September 16 – The first major league home run of ATL OF Nelson Velez (.182, 1 HR, 5 RBI) is a walkoff grand slam off SFB CL Jose Moreno (4-5, 3.93 ERA, 11 SV), giving the Knights a 7-3 win.
September 18 – The 24-game hitting streak of Dallas’ Hugo Acosta (.369, 0 HR, 83 RBI) ends in a 6-0 loss to the Capitals.
September 18 – SFW 3B/2B Nick Rozenboom (.334, 10 HR, 43 RBI) sees his hitting streak end on the same day, at 23 games, in a 3-2 win over the Buffaloes.

FL Player of the Week: NAS 3B/2B Jim Allen (.297, 15 HR, 87 RBI), batting .478 (11-23) with 3 HR, 9 RBI
CL Player of the Week: ATL 1B Justin LeClerc (.273, 8 HR, 49 RBI), who hit .750 (6-8) with 2 HR, 3 RBI

Complaints and stuff

There is an unwelcome re-entry into the division race that I don’t even want to talk about….

POR (85-64) – IND (4), BOS (3), MIL (3), OCT (3) – .478 – 85.7% (+20.4%)
IND (81-67) – NYC (4), POR (4), ATL (3), BOS (3) – .541 – 7.3% (-11.5%)
NYC (81-68) – IND (4), IND (3), MIL (3), TIJ (3) – .498 – 3.8% (-11.6%)
BOS (80-69) – VAN (4), IND (3), LVA (3), POR (3) – .532 – 3.3% (+2.8%)

All our games are at home – except for a weekend trip to Milwaukee next week. The Indians and Titans will make up the final week. The Indians’ and Crusaders’ 4-game set on a 3-day weekend will be in parallel to our Titans clash. That could be an … “interesting” finale. Don’t make plans. Stock up on tissues. And pills.

We used eight pitchers on Sunday in that highly critical game (and W! … which went to Barker). Now – Bernie Chavez will live. He only has mild back spasms, I am told, and he will be fine in a couple of days, Dr. Chung said. I just wonder whether me pointing the blunderbuss at his guts and demanding good news had anything to do with this. I mean, he’s from Pyongyang, he knows how to handle mental strongmen.

We might be lacking for pen options to begin the Thunder series on Monday, though. Prieto and Sims were the only relievers not used in the team effort. Although – Colt Willes would be ready for another tryout!

We could also add another arm. I’d also be interested in another option at third base. The options for the latter are rather lackluster (Matt Triolo, anyone? Vince Lutch?); the only AAA bat that would be interesting is Cory Cronk, a 23-year-old third-rounder who spent the entire year there for the second straight season. He batted .218 with 7 homers in ’36, but .278 with 16 homers this year. He also drew *110* walks and stole 26 bases. The problem is that he’s a left-handed corner outfielder, and where would we fit a guy like that in? Now, he has played second base before, but don’t expect him to make the pivot on a double play. His arm *is* great – but he has no experience at third base, and now seems like a bad time to have a Ricardo Martinez Revival.

Cronk was of course already on the major league roster earlier this year. He appeared in six games, went hitless in 17 plate appearances, but walked four times. We have guys on the roster that wouldn’t walk four times in a month…

What to do with Maldonado? He batted .363/.442/.573 during his 43-game exile to AAA. There is *clearly* talent there. It just doesn’t click! He played all week and has in fact played regularly since Myers and Cosmo disappeared into the rapture. He batted 7-for-24 this week, walked twice, struck out 8 times, and had one RBI. It’s just … he just doesn’t put it together here…..

And it’s too bad because the Raccoons have a guy under contract for ’38 with 33 homers that can’t play his position anymore, but 33 homers will surely find a suitor even at that price. If only we could find somebody to step forward to stake a claim! Everybody on the team seems to have stepped back … except for maybe Greenway, who had his attention on his bowl with snacks and didn’t notice everybody else galloped backwards.

Greenway as a Coon? Slugging .625!

Fun Fact: Justin Fowler hit his 300th ABL home run in the second inning on Thursday, a game that turned sour later on, much like Fowler’s defense has.

86 of his bombs have come for Portland, the rest with the Pacifics. And while there’s any number of players that manage to hit three times as many homers as their draft position indicates, for the 2023 #100 pick it was an actual achievement. .279/.350/.476 for his career, with 1,081 RBI, and in his younger years he also stole 134 bases in total.

Rookie of the Year, 9-time All Star, plenty of accolades, and three World Series rings – there’s empty claws left on these paws.

[Questdog]

Fernando Garcia has to be having the best year ever for someone getting absolute no ink at all.....

P.S. Yes, I admit the main reason for this comment is to show off my signature where the Reds won a World Series! All players on the team have all played for Cincinnati at some point in their career.

[Westheim]

No, Nick, the Raccoons can’t clinch the division while you’re in town. – Because your’re only here for a day, thank god, and even if they win and the other teams lose they’re only up 4 1/2 with 12 to play. – What did I mean with “thank god”? Uh. … Uhm. …….

Raccoons (85-64) vs. Thunder (58-91) – September 21-23, 2037

Let’s get into this real quick (claps paws) – the Raccoons had already taken the season series from Oklahoma (5-1), for the fourth straight years, but they also had never won *more* than five games from them in the previous three years… The Thunder couldn’t score a lick, but were being beaten up vigorously by everybody – they were at the bottom of the CL in *both* runs scored and runs allowed, which was not a fun place to be. Their run differential was a screaming -200 (Coons: +93).

Projected matchups:
Raffaello Sabre (9-7, 4.24 ERA) vs. Joe Robinson (10-13, 4.35 ERA)
Gene Tennis (2-3, 4.44 ERA) vs. Paul Peters (8-10, 4.78 ERA)
Jared Ottinger (10-11, 3.84 ERA) vs. Mike Hanneman (1-3, 5.40 ERA)

The Raccoons had two more players on the roster to begin this series; Josh Weeks came off the DL and would have to do rehab in a relief outing in some fashion. We also added an infielder to the thinned out roster, promoting 23-year-old 2034 first-rounder (#20) Jon Caskey, who could play more or less all positions on the infield. He was a righty batter, which was not exceptionally helpful. He had also hit .215 in AAA after a midseason promotion there. But we needed another option for third base, and he had to be added to the 40-man roster this fall anyway. To make room on said 40-man roster, Matt Triolo was designated for assignment.

Since Robinson was the only left-handed starter coming up in this series, Caskey would make his major league debut in the starting lineup right away on Monday.

Game 1
OCT: CF Shamhart – 2B Martell – C Urfer – 1B D. Cruz – RF Celaya – LF Nuno – SS Agosto – 3B Laue – P J. Robinson
POR: SS Maldonado – C Garcia – RF Greenway – CF Fowler – 2B Vickers – 1B Maruyama – 3B Caskey – LF Pinkerton – P Sabre

The Raccoons rested Berto (we couldn’t afford to break him too) and Manny (slight slump, and, well, lefty opponent) and gave Maruyama a start for platoon purposes, but I really feared that this was the best lineup the Thunder could muster at this point. Caskey got to hand his first chance right away, throwing out Nate Shamhart on a poor drag bunt, then legged out an infield single for his first career hit in the bottom 2nd. That came with Maruyama already on first, nobody out, and after the Critters had stranded a pair in the first inning. Preston Pinkerton struck out, Sabre bunted, Maldonado walked, and Garcia struck out again to strand a full set of runners.

It came as it had to cum – Sabre struck out four in the first run through the lineup, but allowed back-to-back singles to Danny Cruz and Lorenzo Celaya, about the only serious major leaguers in that lineup, in the fourth inning and conceded the go-ahead run on Federico Nuno’s sac fly to right. Bottom 4th, Maruyama and Caskey opened the inning with a pair of singles yet again, and this time Robinson plunked Pinkerton, loading the bases with nobody out and, well, Sabre up. No, Nick, we can’t bat for Sabre here. – Yes, because, well, we only have 11 men in the pen…? … Sabre slapped a 3-2 pitch through the hole on the left side, Maruyama scored, and the game was tied at one in any case, and now the top of the order could do some real damage! Maldonado hit a so-so grounder for the go-ahead RBI, but Garcia cracked a ball off the wall for a 2-run double, then was stranded when Fowler’s drive to right died just ten feet short of the fence and in Celaya’s glove. The Thunder responded with a runner and a double play in each of the next two innings, and the runner in the sixth was even unearned after a Rich Vickers error. In response, Garcia seemed to put the game away in the bottom 6th, following up Maldonado’s double to center with a home run to center, stretching the lead to 6-1! Raffaello Sabre pitched into the ninth inning, but allowed a leadoff single to Al Martell and walked Rick Urfer (who?) before being removed. Mauricio Garavito retired the next three batters to end the game, and without a run scoring. 6-1 Raccoons! Garcia 2-3, BB, HR, 2B, 4 RBI; Maruyama 2-4; Caskey 2-4; Sabre 8.0 IP, 6 H, 1 R, 0 ER, 2 BB, 6 K, W (10-7) and 1-3, RBI;

Good game, wasn’t it, Nick? – Nick Valdes is content, but still would have loved to clinch the division. Well, come back next week.

Indy won, but the Crusaders lost, dropping into a tie with the Titans for third place, five games out.

Game 2
OCT: LF E. Moore – 2B Martell – C Urfer – 1B D. Cruz – RF Celaya – SS A. Rojas – CF Pack – 3B Laue – P Peters
POR: SS Ramos – C Morales – LF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – RF Greenway – 1B Stedham – 2B Brito – 3B Caskey – P Tennis

Portland scored before making an out with three straight singles to begin the bottom 1st. Brian Pack, one of those unspectacular 25-year-old rookies (but with great sideburns!) overran Manny’s single for an extra base, but Berto probably would have scored anyway; the other two runners reached scoring position on the play, though, where they held out while Fowler lined out to Martell (unlucky) and Greenway fanned (eek!). Jesse Stedham salvaged the inning with a 2-run single to left, staking Gene Tennis to a 3-0 lead. The left-hander then blew that one instantly, loading the bases with nobody out in the second. Pack walked to force home a run, Tommy Laue hit an RBI single, and Peters managed a sac fly to tie the game before Ethan Moore hit into a 4-6-3 double play. The Raccoons scratched out a new lead in the bottom 2nd, which Caskey opened with a triple to center, scoring on Ramos’ groundout, but Tennis cocked that up, too, giving up a pair of singles to Martell and Urfer to begin the top 3rd; Cruz hit into a double play, but Celaya singled to left, the score was even at four, and Tennis was yanked. No patience for that kind of bull****!

Nate Ward initially picked up the slack, but also put Laue on second base with one out in the fourth. Josh Weeks’ rehab began right there, entering against the top of the order, with four of the first five batters being left-handed or switch-hitters; only Urfer was a righty. Weeks struck out Moore, but gave up an RBI single to Martell and an RBI double to Urfer to dig a 6-4 hole for the team. Portland had a few silent innings before finally scrambling for a run in the bottom 6th, Stedham doubling in Fowler with two outs. Ed Hooge batted for Brito in a critical RISP spot, but grounded out to first.

Weeks threw 43 pitches and after the early “hiccup”, as we will call it generously, allowed only one more hit while whiffing five in three innings, and while he left trailing in the seventh, he had won Tennis’ starting spot for sure. The seventh was not helpful for Portland, but in the eighth they put Tony Morales and Troy Greenway aboard with singles, but there were also already two outs for when Stedham faced right-hander Matt Bosse. The Raccoons needed a third RBI knock from their first-sacker, but got a walk instead. Jesus Blanco replaced Bosse, righty-for-righty, with Rich Vickers batting seventh at that point. Blanco fell to 2-0, had to come into the zone, and Vickers was there, lacing a ball up the leftfield line, past Moore, and for a bases-clearing double!! THE ****, VICKERS!! – Caskey would hit a single, but the inning ended with Maruyama, but Yeom Soung retired the Thunder in three snuffs in the ninth inning, putting this one into the W column, too! 8-6 Furballs! Morales 2-4; Stedham 2-4, BB, 2B, 3 RBI; Vickers 1-1, 2B, 3 RBI; Caskey 2-4, 3B;

Derek Barker pitched the eighth and got the win. That was his *11th* win this year, all in relief, and seven of them for the Critters!? The Raccoons had only two *starters* with more wins…! (Bernie, Sparkes)

Indy also won, so did Boston; the Crusaders lost and dropped six out.

Game 3
OCT: LF E. Moore – 2B Martell – C Urfer – 1B D. Cruz – SS A. Rojas – RF Nuno – CF Heskett – 3B Laue – P Hanneman
POR: SS Ramos – C Morales – LF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – RF Greenway – 1B Stedham – 2B Vickers – 3B Maldonado – P Ottinger

Portland scored two runs on four singles by Berto, who stole a base, and their 4-5-6 batters in the first inning. Fowler and Stedham got RBI’s, but Greenway was axed in a rundown to end the inning. Maldonado doubled the score in the bottom 2nd with a homer, collecting Vickers, while Ottie legged out an infield roller for a single, then stole his first career base on Hanneman. The first time through the order, the celebrated Gobble star and side-hustle starting pitcher for your local professional baseball team walked one and struck out four, and when Al Martell hit a leadoff single to cruelly take the no-hitter away in the fourth, Urfer hit into a double play.

Things then obviously had to come crashing down in the fifth. Alfredo Rojas and Federico Nuno opened with singles, Laue hit an RBI single, and Nuno was criticially caught stealing third base by Tony Morales before the pinch-hitting Lorenzo Celaya homered to right, narrowing the score to 4-3. No problem though – just get the 7-8 batters back up! Vickers reached base again in the bottom 6th, and Maldonado hit *another* jack off Nick Celmer, extending the lead again, now at 6-3. Ottinger was removed after a leadoff walk to Rojas in the seventh inning, but David Fernandez cleaned up behind him, and the Raccoons looked decently good for a sweep now. But, oh well, baseball, huh? Jake Markley singled, Ethan Moore walked, and Al Martell hit an RBI double off Fernandez in the eighth – all but Markley left-handed batters. The tying runs were in scoring position, there was nobody out, and I was starting to panic. Antonio Prieto came in, allowed a sac fly to Urfer (seriously, who??), and then a game-tying double to Cruz. I slumped into a crying pile on the couch, bad enough for Slappy to pat to change his bottle from one hand to the other so he could pat my shoulder without having to reach.

The bottom 8th brought no relief, but at least Citriniti held the Thunder at bay in the ninth, giving the Coons a walkoff chance against right-hander Raul de la Rosa, who walked about six-and-a-half per nine innings. He walked Manny Fernandez in the ninth after a leadoff single by Morales, also walked Fowler to load the bases, and that brought up Greenway, who poked and grounded to Laue, who fired home to kill the winning run, and they got Greenway at first base, too! 5-2-3 went the Critters, with Maruyama batting sixth after pinch-hitting for Stedham earlier for no good reason. No lefty bat was left on the bench, so we’d have to do with Maruyama… until de la Rosa took all the pains away with a wild pitch. Ballgame!? 7-6 Raccoons. Ramos 2-4, BB; Greenway 2-5; Maldonado 2-4, 2 HR, 4 RBI;

Complications were introduced into the division race at this point. While we took that game by dumb luck, the Indians’ series finale with the Knights was rained out. Since the teams had no matching off day left, the game was rescheduled for the Monday after the initial end of the regular season.

The rest of the competition won on Wednesday, so it was Indians four games out, Titans five, and Crusaders six.

Thursday was off for Portland – and every other important team in the North, so nothing changed by the time we made it to Milwaukee.

Raccoons (88-64) @ Loggers (62-91) – September 25-27, 2037

Bad things had happened to the Raccoons in Milwaukee before, as I vaguely remembered an excoriating 4-game sweep that had appeared to derail the season for good earlier this year. We were ahead 8-7 in the season series, though, while the Loggers showed many qualities of last place teams, namely not scoring, and giving up many runs. They were second-worst in scoring runs (although we hadn’t exactly shut the Thunder out…), and were giving up the fourth-most runs.

Projected matchups:
Bryce Sparkes (14-7, 2.82 ERA) vs. Vinny Olguin (10-19, 4.40 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (12-9, 3.14 ERA) vs. Tommy Iezzi (9-11, 4.12 ERA)
Raffaello Sabre (10-7, 4.02 ERA) vs. Sergio Piedra (9-13, 3.36 ERA)

Probably all right-handers here.

Game 1
POR: SS Ramos – C Morales – RF Greenway – CF Fowler – LF M. Fernandez – 3B Maldonado – 1B Stedham – 2B Vickers – P Sparkes
MIL: CF T. Romero – 2B Paul – LF J. Nelson – 3B Conner – RF Valenzuela – SS Del Vecchio- 1B S. Ayala – C M. Cooper – P Olguin

Berto opened the game with a walk, stole not one, but two bases, and eventually scored on a Matt Cooper error while the Raccoons kept putting runners aboard. Greenway and Fowler scored on a Fernandez double to left, giving Manny 93 RBI in his attempt to join Fowler in triple digits. The inning died after that, but the Raccoons were up 3-0 for Sparkes, who came in and … uh… what? Tony Romero homered. Jared Paul singled. Justin Nelson whacked an RBI double. Josh Conner walked onto the open base, and Danny Valenzuela tied the game with a single. There wasn’t even an out on the board yet…! Ted Del Vecchio legged out an infield single before Sal Ayala popped out. Cooper gave Milwaukee the lead with a groundout, and Olguin popped out, but … what the ACTUAL ****??

Sparkes retired nobody in the bottom 2nd, with Nelson singling home Romero before the hammer came down and Travis Sims replaced the ****ing sucker. Down 5-3, two on, nobody out, Sims walked Conner before getting a pop and a 4-6-3 grounder. While the Raccoons made up one run with the help of Manny Fernandez’ leadoff double in the third inning, Sims succumbed to his own rectal examination in the bottom of the inning. TWO leadoff walks, another Tony Romero homer that counted for three, and then he put Paul and Nelson on the corners after that. Nate Ward came in, conceded a run on a wild pitch, and at 9-4, this game was lost. Thus, here came another attempt at putting Colt Willes back together – he’d have all the time in the world beginning in the bottom 4th. The Raccoons actually rallied for three runs in the top 4th, with Berto getting on and stealing another base before Morales (single), Fowler (sac fly), and Fernandez (single) each brought in a run, 9-7. The Critters’ bed was made though, and Willes got into the game in the bottom 4th after all. Single, wild pitch, RBI single. Promising start! After that he struck out Cooper and got a double play bunt from reliever Adam Giovenco, who gave up that extra run in the top 5th with Stedham and Ramos chipping in base hits. And Willes? Was ravaged for three more runs in the bottom 5th. We couldn’t help but wonder whether he was irreparably broken after missing most of two seasons with various injuries. He walked Romero, Josh Conner hit a homer, and they got another run on two doubles after that.

Top 6th, bases loaded with one out, Greenway, Fernandez, and Hooge being on for Stedham against Giovenco. A single up the middle made it … wait… (counts on claws) … 13-9? …and brought on Rob Clack, who gave up a sac fly to Vickers before getting out of the mess. In the bottom 6th, Romero walked against Francisco Pena, stole second and scored on Paul’s single, giving the Loggers a run in every inning in the game until they FINALLY ran dry in the seventh. Portland was on base in the eighth against Clack, who allowed a single to Fowler and nicked PH Fernando Garcia before giving up a 2-out RBI single to Vickers. Righty Carlos Padilla replaced Clack against Caskey in the #9 hole, who was also the tying run, singled to left, narrowed the gap to two runs, and brought in the next reliever in Mike Leeth, who had been bombed for four runs in 1.2 innings in his first September call-up, but got Berto to fly out. The Loggers scored a run off Citriniti in the bottom of the inning, Victor Acosta singling home Matt Cooper and his double, while Alex Banderas (5.22 ERA) would see after the Raccoons in the ninth. Morales singled to center, and Greenway hit jack to right, narrowing the gap to … I don’t know, the scoreboard said 15-14, but maybe I was seeing spots from being happy drunk. Fowler struck out, but Manny reached base on an Acosta error, before Maruyama and Stedham both flew out to center. 15-14 Loggers. Ramos 2-4, 2 BB, RBI; Morales 2-6, RBI; Greenway 3-4, 2 BB, HR, 2 RBI; Fowler 2-4, BB, RBI; M. Fernandez 3-6, 2 2B, 3 RBI;

The first five for Milwaukee on the scoreboard read 41413. That’s the zip code of Crockett, Kentucky, I am told.

Fine.

That’s where I’ll ****ing deport our ****ing pitchers to if they don’t ****ing stop ****ing up.

The Indians beat the Titans, 6-2, while the Crusaders overcame the damn Elks. The gaps to those three teams were thus three, five, and five games now, respectively. The Elks were nine out and one game from elimination, but we hadn’t really bothered with them in a while.

But we also hadn’t bothered with the Titans for a while, and here they were, just waiting to decimate our tossing stuff, suddenly comprised of a dozen identical copies of Bumpy McPuddingface.

Mmm, pudding.

Game 2
POR: SS Ramos – C Morales – RF Greenway – CF Fowler – LF M. Fernandez – 3B Maldonado – 1B Stedham – 2B Brito – P B. Chavez
MIL: CF T. Romero – 1B S. Ayala – LF J. Nelson – 3B Conner – RF Valenzuela – SS Del Vecchio – 2B V. Acosta – C M. Cooper – P Iezzi

I spent some time to beg Bernie to be good, then wandered off to find a bowl of vanilla pudding, and when I came back it was a 1-1 game in the third inning. Bernie walked Nelson with two outs, then gave up a homer to Conner. Valenzuela singled, Del Vecchio homered, and it was 5-1 Loggers. – (turns to attendant at the bar) Sir, excuse me. I will need high-proof booze with this vanilla pudding.

The main difference to Friday’s game soon turned out to be that the Raccoons couldn’t score. As soon as they got on, they’d hit into a double play, so happening in the fourth and fifth innings, and if they didn’t hit into a double play the main reason was that they didn’t get on base in the first place. A slight variation in procedure occurred in the seventh inning, where Fernandez hit a leadoff single, then was picked off by a solid Iezzi, just before Maldonado walked and Stedham hit an RBI double. I was grumbling into my bottle, the pudding long gone, but that was the only run the Critters got in the inning, and the Loggers got that run back from Garavito in the bottom of the inning, with Nelson doubling and Valenzuela tripling to get to 6-2. Iezzi departed after a leadoff walk to Berto, who was doubled up by Morales in a sad eighth inning, in which Nate Ward gave up a 2-out double to Kymani Farmer and an RBI triple to Tony Romero for a tack-on run. The Raccoons remained terrible to the very end. 7-2 Loggers. Ramos 0-1, 3 BB; M. Fernandez 2-4; Stedham 2-4, 2B, RBI; Barker 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 1 K;

Alright. Looks like our condition is terminal, but maybe we can at least lose everything to the Indians rather than the Titans, with another game between those two going into the Indians’ W column. They were now two behind. Boston and New York, both losing, remained five out.

Come on, boys. ONE game. Just ONE.

Game 3
POR: SS Ramos – 3B Maldonado – RF Greenway – CF Fowler – LF M. Fernandez – C Garcia – 1B Stedham – 2B Caskey – P Sabre
MIL: CF T. Romero – 2B Paul – LF J. Nelson – 3B Conner – RF Valenzuela – SS Del Vecchio – 1B S. Ayala – C M. Cooper – P S. Chavez

Facing Sal Chavez (11-9, 3.91 ERA), and with rain moving towards the city, the Raccoons had to get something on the board early, very much didn’t, but at least Sabre made it through three innings before being hit with high-explosive ammunition, and the game was scoreless through three, with the drizzle already beginning. There was a half-hour delay in the top of the fourth, but neither pitcher suffered terminal damage during the waiting time. Both teams would tally three base hits through five shutout innings, but of course the question was when either team would resume the cannonade.

Turns out the Raccoons broke through first, getting a Ramos double to begin the sixth, but then struggled to actually get him across. Maldonado grounded out, Greenway walked, and Fowler was rung up in a full count. Manny Fernandez came to the rescue, crushing a 3-run homer to right, the first meaningful offense in the game! Sabre rung up two in the bottom 6th before Valenzuela singled, but then got Del Vecchio on a grounder to third base, and retired the bottom of the order without issue in the seventh. That was all from him – he threw 102 pitches around a rain delay, and the Raccoons wouldn’t dare sending him back out for the eighth. Greenway was on base in the top 8th but got doubled up by Fowler, which was not helpful, but we also needed only six outs with a 3-0 lead. Prieto came in to face the top of the order, Hooge replaced Fowler for defense, and they wouldn’t dare to blow it, would they? At least not Prieto, who gave up a Romero single on his first pitch, but then dug in and got the next three Loggers on poor outs. The Raccoons got pinch-hit singles from Maruyama and Morales in the ninth inning, but stranded the runners when Vickers, hitting for Prieto, popped out. Well, Warden, honor your name then. Valenzuela single. Del Vecchio single. Oh for ****’s sake!! PH Maxime Garnier hit a grounder to short that was only good for an out second base, but Cooper hit a fly to shallow right that Greenway snatched on the run, denying even Valenzuela and his blitzing speed to score from third base. Left-hander D.J. Mendez pinch-hit in the #9 spot, fell to 2-2, then hit a gapper for an RBI double. SOUNG!!! There wasn’t even a pitcher ready, because how could he ruin this!? Tony Romero drew a ball, then fired a liner to left and – MALDONADO!!! A leap and a grab! And the ballgame was over!!! 3-1 Blighters!! Greenway 2-3, BB; M. Fernandez 1-4, HR, 3 RBI; Maruyama (PH) 1-1; Caskey 1-2, BB; Morales (PH) 1-1; Sabre 7.0 IP, 4 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 7 K, W (11-7);

(is soaked in sweat, but grabs the passing Maldonado in the clubhouse tunnel and smooches him fat on the lips)

In other news

September 22 – Salem INF/CF Jeremy Camden (.265, 4 HR, 48 RBI) hits a walkoff single to beat the Buffaloes, 4-3, and with that clinches the FL West for the Wolves.
September 22 – BOS SP Tony Chavez (15-10, 2.64 ERA) 3-hits the Aces in a 7-0 shutout. Chavez fans ten batters in the game.
September 23 – For a victory lap, the Wolves dismember the Buffaloes to the tune of a 25-3 game. Salem’s Chad Armfield (.266, 6 HR, 71 RBI) leads a team effort with four base hits and 5 RBI while batting eighth.
September 25 – A 2-1 win over the Thunder clinches the CL South for the Bayhawks.
September 27 – PIT 1B Danny Santillano (.322, 22 HR, 106 RBI) joins the 300-homer club with a shot off RIC SP Jamal Barrow (12-14, 4.77 ERA) on Sunday, but the Miners lose 8-7. The 31-year-old Santillano has lots of homers yet to hit and has his Hall of Fame plaque more or less furnished for having already bagged six batting titles, five Player of the Year awards, and countless other accolades, including three homer crowns.
September 27 – NAS SP Abramo Archibugi (5-6, 3.25 ERA) clinches the FL East in style with a 3-hit shutout of the Buffaloes, the Blue Sox winning 5-0. The Blue Sox also clinch home field advantage throughout the playoffs with this win.

FL Player of the Week: RIC INF Kenny Elder (.297, 13 HR, 49 RBI), hitting .450 (9-20) with 5 HR, 8 RBI
CL Player of the Week: BOS OF Willie Vega (.246, 15 HR, 77 RBI), batting .579 (11-19) with 2 HR, 8 RBI

Complaints and stuff

Holy ****, what the **** was this week?? Looks like if we make the playoffs, Raffaello Sabre will have to start games 1 through 7 because every else got ravaged! Alright, Ottie was *decent*. Ottie can start the even-numbered games. All of them. The rest of the starters was barely worth the effort of beating them senseless.

Sabre pitched 15 innings and allowed one unearned run for two wins. The rest of the starting corps (including Ottie)? 0-2 with an 11.20 ERA. (Don’t ask for that without Ottie… please don’t…) And I am not even getting into the weeds of Colt Willes yet, who can’t get anybody out anymore. He’s also under contract for $1.58M for another season, and I already scrawled a team option under his contract signed in ’33, but Cristiano tells me that won’t be legally binding.

Cristiano!! You killjoy!!

In good news, the Titans took the last game in their series with the Indians, thus increasing our lead to three games again (although our performance this week didn’t merit a lead at all), with New York hanging in there despite losing to the Elks. Their magic number was two, but wicked **** was going on and I wouldn’t put it beyond the Raccoons to go 0-7 next week…

POR (89-66) – IND (4), BOS (3) – .550 – 83.2% (-2.5%)
IND (85-68) – NYC (4), POR (4), ATL (1) – .549 – 15.8% (+8.5%)
BOS (84-71) – VAN (4), POR (3) – .545 – 1.0% (-2.3%)
NYC (83-72) – IND (4), MIL (3) – .493 – 0.0% (-3.8%)

I don’t like how the Indians have a game in hand *after* our last game. Oh well, if we get swept to start next week it will be the least of our troubles. I’d say a split against the Arrowheads would be *decent*. Unless the Titans swept the damn Elks a Coons/Indians split would put them out of business, maybe giving us less of a nightmare on the weekend. If we lost the Indians series, then – (shivers)

NO MORE LOSING!!

After a crisp 33 years during which they finished in the first division only six times, the Wolves are in the playoffs again! We still have a revenge thing going on for ’89 … and last time I checked Glenn Johnston couldn’t **** it up this time…

Our scout guy dragged in a 16-year-old Mexican centerfielder this week… and normally I nod off every Latin hustler boy he pretends will be a future star (they never are), but this guy looks like he can actually hit, run, and field. His name is Alberto Silva, he has great range, ability to hit for contact and power, and might get a start in single-A as early as next season! (He’ll turn 17 in March)

Fun Fact: 45 years ago today, the Condors’ Bruce Boyle hit for the first of his two cycles.

Boyle’s two cycles came more than ten years apart, the longest apart an ABL hitter has landed two cycles. The rare breed of middle infielder that lasts 25 years in the league, Boyle made his debut with the Condors in 1989 but didn’t win a regular spot until ’92, his age 22 season and the one where he hit that cycle. He stayed with Tijuana through 2006, then bounced around various teams in reserve roles. He was an All Star four times, and while he never led the league in any category, he was regularly worth 4+ WAR in his 20s, and 58.7 for his career, for which he batted .263/.360/.394 with 2,454 hits, 157 HR, 1,079 RBI, and stole 171 bases.

[StLee]

Every other division is well-wrapped up, but you have a four-team race on your hands. At least raccoons are scrappy in a close-contact fracas!

[Questdog]

Losing 2 of 3 to the Loggers?! That is not how to win championships....

15 to 14??

You are making a travesty of the National Pastime....

It seems the opposing coach outsmarted you by going for a 2 point conversion.....

PS. That is a reference to American Football, in which a score of 15 to 14 is more commonplace than in baseball. Though, these days, it is more commonly a halftime score, as they have largely legislated defense out of the game.

[alexsimon99]

I don't want to get ahead of things by too much ... but I can't help it.

I can't help but see the possibility of the Salem v. Portland World Series. I believe it's happened once before, hasn't it?

Still, an all-Oregon battle. My oh my.

Let's go Blighters!

[Westheim]

(sits on the brown couch, frozen and stiff, Honeypaws in his clutch, and doesn’t blink)

Raccoons (89-66) vs. Indians (85-68) – September 28-October 1, 2037

This was for the money – the Raccoons were behind in the season series, 8-6, which was unfortunate but not a great problem; they could in fact maintain an excellent position in the division by splitting this 4-game set with the #2 offense in the Continental League that was being weighed down my mediocre pitching. Their pen was very good, their rotation rather crummy, although we’d not see many stinkers…

Projected matchups:
Josh Weeks (10-6, 3.80 ERA) vs. Joe Dishon (10-7, 3.16 ERA)
Jared Ottinger (10-11, 3.86 ERA) vs. Donovan Mason (1-0, 1.93 ERA)
Bryce Sparkes (14-8, 3.03 ERA) vs. Justin Kaiser (2-9, 3.95 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (12-10, 3.31 ERA) vs. Mike Hurley (9-6, 3.63 ERA)

We’d also not see southpaw Arnie Terwilliger (13-11, 3.60 ERA), who had pitched on Sunday and who we had faced three times this year and had lost every game against. Of the folks on offer, Kaiser was the only left-hander.

A word on the potential madness ready to unfold: as of Monday morning, a 4-way tie for the crown in the North was still possible. First, the Crusaders had to win out and reach 90-72. The Indians had to sweep the Coons and win their makeup game with the Knights, thus also reaching 90-72. The Raccoons had to win exactly one game from the Titans on the weekend, also making it to 90-72, and the Titans would arrive at the same mark by sweeping the damn Elks while we were getting humped by Indy. While not likely, it was worth noting that we were historically bad against the Titans (and the usual 6-9 crapper this season) and they were far from finished at five games out, with three against the Critters. Boston had been 11 1/2 games back with four weeks to play. They had a valid chance at this junction.

Game 1
IND: 1B Rempfer – 2B Schneller – 3B Hutson – CF Baron – C Ebner – LF Bainer – RF Calderin – SS DiGiacomo – P Dishon
POR: SS Ramos – 3B Maldonado – RF Greenway – CF Fowler – LF M. Fernandez – C Morales – 1B Stedham – 2B Caskey – P Weeks

The Indians stuffed all the right-handed bats they could find into their lineup against Weeks, but only Jeremy Bainer reached on a single the first time through while Weeks struck out five Arrowheads. The Raccoons had a Berto walk to begin the bottom 1st, then nothing until they loaded the bases on nothing but walks in the bottom 2nd, and with two outs. Manny drew the leadoff walk, but only made it to second base on a wild pitch to Jon Caskey, who was then put on the open base intentionally before Dishon also walked Weeks in a sucky way. Berto lined out to Bainer in left, however, and all the runners were stranded. The second time through, Portland managed two base hits; Greenway hit a single in the third and was then forgotten about, and Morales was nailed and Caskey singled in the fourth before Weeks bunted into an inning-ending double play.

Bainer fired a leadoff double to center to begin the fifth inning, but was stranded when the bottom of the lineup made a string of poor outs, keeping the game scoreless long enough for Jon Caskey to slap a leadoff single to reach base for the third time in a scoreless game in the bottom 7th. Weeks was aceing this game, and the Raccoons called for another bunt, but only got another double play, causing me to show some sort of reaction, biting into my lower lip until it bled. Weeks at least maintained his 3-hitter through eight innings, and if the Raccoons scored for him to get in line for a W, it would be unearned. Fowler walked against Alan Mays with two outs in the bottom 8th, and Dan Schneller made an uncharacteristic error to put Manny Fernandez on base, too. Mays nailed Tony Morales with a 1-2 pitch, loading them up for Jesse Stedham, who grounded to Schneller, and this time the ball was handled correctly, and the Raccoons scored three LOB again. Portland sent Antonio Prieto into the ninth, seeing him give up a 1-out single to John Baron, then brought David Fernandez when Jeremy Leftwich pinch-hit for Sean Ebner. Fernandez was taken deep by the left-handed batter, and the Raccoons trailed 2-0 in a game they should be leading. Bottom 9th, Tim Thweatt struck out Caskey before giving up a right-corner triple to Ed Hooge. Berto dropped an RBI single, bringing up the winning run in PH Fernando Garcia, who popped out, promoting Troy Greenway to the plate with two gone. Greenway almost hit one gone – but the ball annoyingly glanced off the top of the wall and back into play, but ran away from rightfielder Dustin Acor so efficiently that Berto had all the time in the world to paw home from first base, and Greenway, the winning run, reached third base with the second triple of the inning…! Indy brought in right-hander J.J. Ringland, Fowler hit a deep fly – and it was caught by Mitchell Bizier to send the game to extras.

Yeom Soung struck out three in the to 10th – but not leadoff man Jairo Sigala, who hit a pinch-hit dinger to left. Thus, Ringland had a 3-2 lead in the bottom of the inning, but would face three lefty batters to begin things. Of those, only Morales reached with a 1-out single. Vickers pinch-hit for Caskey, lined out, and the Raccoons lost. 3-2 Indians. Greenway 2-5, 3B, RBI; Caskey 2-3, BB; Hooge (PH) 1-1, 3B; Weeks 8.0 IP, 3 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 9 K;

(SIGH)

Boston beat the damn Elks, 3-1, while the Crusaders lost to the Loggers, 5-1. The Raccoons’ lead was down to two games, our magic number over the chasers was six, three, and one, respectively, and Tuesday was a must-win.

Oh, Nick Valdes is also here. – So happy to see you. – What did you miss? The usual bull****. – No, you can’t have Honeypaws, get your own stuffed toy raccoon!!

Game 2
IND: C E. Thompson – 2B Schneller – RF Leftwich – 3B Hutson – 1B Caraballo – CF Baron – LF Garbinski – SS DiGiacomo – P D. Mason
POR: SS Ramos – 3B Maldonado – RF Greenway – CF Fowler – LF M. Fernandez – C Morales – 1B Stedham – 2B Vickers – P Ottinger

Now alternating lefty and righty bats, the Indians looked forward to keep momentum and maybe take Ottie’s head off early. After Maldonado singled, stole second, and was stranded in the bottom 1st, the top 2nd saw Tomas Caraballo (single), Josh Garbinski (4-pitch walk), and Joe DiGiacomo (nailed) on base with one out. Mason popped out on a 1-2, and Elliott Thompson flew out to Greenway to stave off potentially terminal damage. For the moment at least. The Coons’ half of the second began with Fernandez and Morales singles, then continued with a wild pitch. Two in scoring position with no outs, great! Let’s take the lead, boys! Stedham took the very next pitch into the gap, the ball went all the way to the fence, two runs scored, and Stedham reached third base on another triple! Vickers cashed him with a grounder, 3-0 Coons after two!

Caraballo’s second-inning single remained the only base hit off Ottie through five innings, but he also had to labor hard and threw over 80 pitches for three walks and five strikeouts. He wouldn’t be around forever, and a tack-on run would be welcome. When Stedham had reached on an error in the bottom 4th, the Raccoons had failed to pounce, and the game remained close enough that the pen was up in the sixth. Ottie walked Caraballo with one out, but got a force play out of John Baron, who he then *almost* but not quite picked off. Garbinski was so far unretired, ran a 3-2 count, but then flew out easily to Manny Fernandez. That was already enough to fire Ottie over 100 pitches, and he’d not return for the seventh. Maruyama already pinch-hit for him in the bottom 6th and grounded out, stranding Stedham and Vickers.

Three relievers then conspired to give up a run in the seventh; Derek Barker got his man, but Gene Tennis gave up a triple to PH Oscar Mendoza in the #9 hole. He got Thompson, but Travis Sims conceded the run on the inevitable Dan Schneller’s 2-out single before Schneller was caught stealing. Sims retired ****ing nobody, putting Leftwich and Hutson on base to begin the eighth. Garavito came out, then saw Brent Rempfer pinch-hit as a counter-measure. A grounder to third base looked good for two, except that Maldonado fudged it (he had eaten fudge between innings) and the bases were loaded with nobody out. Both me and Valdes were quivering and rocking back and forth clutching a stuffed toy coon at that point. I had Honeypaws, and Maud had gotten one out of storage for Valdes, who had named the poor Critter Fairydust. None of it helped any – Garavito got a grounder from Baron that was again not turned for two, a run scored, and runner were on the corners. Sean Ebner pinch-hit for Garbinski, Portland sent Citriniti, who gave up singles to Ebner, tying the game, DiGiacomo – with Baron thrown out at home plate by Fowler on the play – and then just barely handled Acor’s comebacker for the third out, keeping the game tied.

Bottom 8th, Fowler and Fernandez opened with singles off Alan Mays, nothing we hadn’t seen before. Mays nailed Morales with the first pitch, a cruel ploy that loaded the sacks with nobody out and would virtually assure the Indians to not concede a run! Filthy buggers!! Stedham lined out. Vickers popped out. Valdes howled in agony, squeezing Fairydust so hard his eyes were about to pop out. Compared to that, I was rather calm. I’d seen way more **** than him on this cursed baseball field. Ed Hooge batted for Citriniti with two outs and hit the first pitch to right. Leftwich came in, then saw that he had misread the ball’s trajectory, and upon hustling back couldn’t reach the ball anymore. It hit off the warning track, the wall, and bounced back to Leftwich, but by then two runs had scored! Portland!! A third run would be balked in by lefty Cesar Castillo before the inning ended. And the Raccoons? Soung and Prieto were unavailable. Two of the first three batters in the ninth threatened to be left-handers, so we sent David Fernandez despite “mixed” results in recent outings. Elliott Thompson promptly rolled a single through between Stedham and Vickers… oh boy! Schneller was down to 1-2 before hitting a grounder to short, and THIS TIME the Raccoons got two! And then Leftwich doubled. Fernandez walked Hutson. For ****’s sake!!! The only semi-reasonable arm left was Nate Ward (Pena with the game on the line? Nah!), who gave up a full-count infield single to Brent Rempfer, loading the bases for all-or-nothing swatter John Baron (.261, 15 HR, 65 RBI). 2-2 count, fly to right. And deep. And – not quite long enough. Greenway on the track! A catch! Ballgame!! 6-3 Raccoons!! M. Fernandez 3-4; Hooge (PH) 1-1, 2B, 2 RBI; Ottinger 6.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 4 BB, 5 K and 1-2;

Seven relievers for Portland, none of whom managed to get more than two outs. (shakes head) Nate Ward’s first and likely only Raccoons save.

Oh well. The Crusaders (who lost again) were eliminated, while the Indians were three behind again. The Titans’ game with the damn Elks had been rained out, and they’d play two on Wednesday. Our magic numbers were four and two, respectively – yes, winning the rest of the series would actually clinch the division!

Game 3
IND: C E. Thompson – 2B Schneller – 3B Hutson – 1B Caraballo – CF Baron – LF Garbinski – RF O. Mendoza – SS DiGiacomo – P Kaiser
POR: SS Ramos – C Garcia – LF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – 2B Vickers – 1B Maruyama – 3B Caskey – RF Pinkerton – P Sparkes

Sparkes continued to be ghastly, giving up a Thompson double on an 0-2 pitch and nailing a pair of batters before Garbinski hacked himself out on a 3-2 pitch to strand all of the runners in the first. Indy scored in the second inning when Rich Vickers insisted on putting Oscar Mendoza on second base with a throwing error, and Sparkes lacked any ingredients to stall that runner. Worse yet, the opposing pitcher singled him in. There went the toy Critters back into the clutches of grown men. Vickers went on to hit a leadoff single in the bottom 2nd and be stranded, then dropped Caraballo’s pop for another leadoff error in the third. – Alright, Steve from Accounting!? – STEVE FROM ACCOUNTING!! – Maud, ask Steve from Accounting to look into Vickers’ bank account and whether he’s gotten money from somebody in Indy. – Maud, I am not into discussing this. – Well, find a hacker kid on the internet that will look into it, then!

Somehow, despite a wild pitch by Sparkes (…!?), the runner didn’t score, Sparkes hit a leadoff single in the bottom of the inning, then was doubled up by Berto. One of those 54 we’re predetermined to lose, huh? Despite the awful early innings, Sparkes seemed to get a little bit better in the last three of the six innings he lasted in the game – a Dan Hutson homer to right in the fifth notwithstanding. Not getting better was the Coons’ offense, still shut out by Kaiser, and the game was put away when Travis Sims got hit by a truck, and Jeremy Leftwich’s pinch-hit, 3-run homer in the seventh inning. Kaiser only left the game when injured in the bottom 7th, and the Raccoons were out of it well enough to send Colt Willes to pitch the ninth inning, promptly leading to three hits and another run on his ledger, but since he finished the inning, his ERA actually went down… 6-0 Indians. Maruyama 1-2, BB;

Upsides? Uh. Pena pitched a scoreless inning! And… uh…

Boston split their double-header with the Elks, thus being now four games out with a magic number of one. Indy was two out and the magic number was still four.

Now, has Bernie Chavez recovered from the recent shellackings he got?

Game 4
IND: C E. Thompson – 2B Schneller – RF Leftwich – 3B Hutson – 1B Caraballo – CF Baron – LF Garbinski – SS DiGiacomo – P Hurley
POR: SS Ramos – C Morales – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Hooge – 3B Maldonado – 1B Stedham – 2B Brito – P Chavez

A fastball to the knee took out Tony Morales in the first inning, with Jeff Kilmer suiting up to replace him; the vile assault also moved Berto to second base after his leadoff single, but Morales’ knee soon swelled up and he was unavailable for some length of time for sure. Fernandez singled to load the bases, three on and no outs, with Greenway’s sac fly and Hooge’s RBI single getting two runs home. Maldonado walked, restocking the bases, and Stedham at least cashed a run on a groundout. Brito was walked intentionally, allowing Berto to fly out to Garbinski. The Coons opened the second with another flurry of hits, Berto singling and stealing, and Kilmer and Manny also supplying singles to get him around, 4-0. Greenway singled to load the bases, and Hooge hit a single into no man’s land for two runs. Only now did the Indians’ pen get up, and Maldonado reached on an error to again put three on with nobody out. Hurley, sweating profusely, plated Greenway with a wild pitch, then walked Stedham anyway before being unceremoniously yanked. David Lindstrom got a 1-2-3 double play from Brito that axed the inning rather fast, but the Raccoons were now up 7-0 and had a solid-looking Bernie to head back to the mound!

Hutson doubled home Leftwich in the fourth, in which the Indians got three hits off Bernie, but only the one run. Valdes, panicked regardless, suggested that we should just end the game while we were up by six, which honestly wasn’t how anything worked. Maldonado drove in Greenway in the bottom 4th to make up the run, but a leadoff walk drawn by DiGiacomo and two base hits led to another Indians run in the fifth and also depleted Chavez’ pitch count. Bottom 5th, Lindstrom and Chris Myers as well as a Baron error loaded the bases with one out for Ed Hooge, who hit into a double play.

Bernie had just enough for 6.2 innings before giving up back-to-back bombs to Thompson and Schneller, reducing the lead to 8-4. Gene Tennis got out of the inning, then surrendered a run on a Hutson walk and a Baron double in the eighth. Boyyys …! Don’t …! Get the last few …! Aack!! Barker got a groundout to end the inning, with the lead reduced to 8-5. Soung got the ninth. Mitchell Bizier flew out to Hooge. Thompson struck out. And even the inevitable Dan Schneller couldn’t hit a 6-run homer now, and flew out to Manny, ending the game and securing a sweaty split …! 8-5 Raccoons. Ramos 3-5; Kilmer 2-4; M. Fernandez 2-5, RBI; Greenway 1-2, 2 BB; Hooge 2-5, 3 RBI;

The good news was that the Titans lost their last game to the dastardly, but at least inadvertently helpful Elks. They were thus eliminated from competition – only the Indians remained before the final weekend-and-change’s worth of games.

The Raccoons were at 91-68 at this point. The Indians, with two extra games to make up, sat at 87-70, three games out with a magic number of two.

Tony Morales’ injury was a problem – Dr. Chung thought him unavailable for at least the last weekend and the CLCS, and maybe altogether. I clenched a fist, sent curses at Mike Hurley, and then sent for Matt Hartley to come to Portland as spare catcher for the last three games. Unless the Raccoons clinched early or both Garcia and Kilmer broke at least one leg each, he was not going to see game time. Hartley had batted 3-for-9 in a 5-game cup of coffee last year, and had hit .261 with four homers in AAA this year.

Raccoons (91-68) vs. Titans (86-73) – October 2-4, 2037

How much murder was left in the Titans? We’d find out on the diamond, but they were up 9-6 in the season series and had the stingiest pitching and defense in terms of runs allowed. Their offense had been their downfall, being at best middling in runs scored. No significant injuries with them. Coons needed two to clinch on their own. With less than two, they had to hope for cooperation from the Crusaders and/or (oh baseball gods, have mercy on my soul!) the Knights on Monday.

Projected matchups:
Raffaello Sabre (11-7, 3.85 ERA) vs. Tony Chavez (16-10, 2.66 ERA)
Josh Weeks (10-6, 3.57 ERA) vs. Andy Bressner (6-2, 4.36 ERA)
Jared Ottinger (10-11, 3.73 ERA) vs. Mario Gonzalez (6-5, 2.73 ERA)

Left, right, left? Gonzalez and Matt Brost (5-10, 4.38 ERA) had both pitched in that double header on Wednesday and one of them would have to go on short rest. Probably Gonzalez, just to annoy us with another left-handed arm.

Game 1
BOS: SS Gil – 3B Corder – RF M. Avila – LF W. Vega – 1B Uliasz – C Dear – CF Hawthorne – 2B Sibley – P T. Chavez
POR: 1B Maruyama – C Garcia – LF M. Fernandez – CF Fowler – RF Greenway – SS Maldonado – 2B Vickers – 3B Caskey – P Sabre

Sabre, who had been so great the week before, was stuffed with four runs in the opening inning, because baseball. The toy raccoons were immediately back to being squished, and the Raccoons wondered how much pen they’d need in this one… Antonio Gil led off with an infield single, after which Sabre retired Adam Corder before the bases filled up. Justin Uliasz hit a sac fly, Matt Dear singled home two, and George Hawthorne hit an RBI double. Sabre didn’t make it out of the second inning, walking Gil, who was forced out by Corder, who stole second, scored on a single by Moises Avila, who also stole second, and then Sabre ****ed the bags full before being yanked. Barker got a groundout from Dear, but at 5-0 the damage was done…

While Fernando Garcia hit a solo home run in the third inning, the Raccoons’ Nate Ward was exploded for a 3-run homer by Justin Uliasz in the fourth, with Moises Avila and Willie Vega on base, at which point the score was 8-1 and you could unclench your butt cheeks, because this one wasn’t going to come back. The Raccoons readied Colt Willes for a final probe to see whether he was useful at least as a paper weight, to which the answer, following a Ross Sibley homer that disappeared behind the batter’s eye, was likely nope, while the Raccoons loaded the bases in the bottom of the seventh inning against Chavez, and he retired the next three batters without conceding a run. – No, Nick, I have nothing planned for the rest of the evening. – Well, maybe looking at the Indians scores and then having a good, manly cry? 9-1 Titans. Garcia 3-5, HR, RBI; M. Fernandez 2-4; Vickers 1-2, 2 BB; Pinkerton (PH) 1-1;

Colt Willes, despite being a completely broken tosser at this point, still logged the most outs by any Raccoon in this game…

Let’s check the Indians scores, Nick. And hold on to our Honeypaws and Fairydust. – (is shown a pad with numbers by a grinning Cristiano) – They lost? – Twice? – So that means…?

PLAYOFFS, BABY!!!

That changed a thing or two. While the Raccoons had used both pitchers fitting for a garbage start on Friday (Tennis, Willes), they wanted to give Weeks more tune-up for the CLCS anyway. Ottie remained penciled in for Sunday – there were no sane alternatives.

We’d go light on the lineup, though… especially on Garcia, who with Morales out was required to catch an entire CLCS. So Matt Hartley *would* see action, splitting the last two games with Kilmer. We’d not lay down entirely, though – CLCS homefield advantage was still a thing. Right now we had 91 wins to the Bayhawks’ 90, and nothing good had ever happened at the Bay.

Game 2
BOS: SS Gil – CF Hawthorne – RF M. Avila – 1B Uliasz – LF W. Vega – C Dear – 3B Hansen – 2B Sibley – P Bressner
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Caskey – LF Hooge – RF Greenway – CF Fowler – 1B Stedham – 3B Maldonado – C Hartley – P Weeks

Beginning with a George Hawthorne double in the first inning, Weeks conceded an early run giving up too much fat contact, but the Raccoons began their day at the plate with a Berto double, then straight singles by the 3-4-5 batters to tie the game and have three aboard for Stedham, who struck out, and then Maldonado, whose 2-out grounder to John Hansen was airmailed over Uliasz for a 2-run error. Hartley walked, Weeks popped out, ending the inning. While Weeks walked a pair and somehow avoided damage in the top 2nd, Hooge doubled home Berto for his second RBI in the game and 50th all year, extending the lead to 4-1.

Top 4th, a walk to Uliasz, a fumble error of Willie Vega’s comebacker, a Matt Dear single – bases loaded, nobody out. Why, oh why, … why? Weeks failed to regain control; John Hansen slapped an RBI single, Sibley hit a sac fly, and thankfully Bressner struck out trying to bunt, but Weeks walked Gil anyway. Hawthorne flew out to Greenway in deep right, stranding three in a 4-3 game, which was the score until Jon Caskey clocked Bressner for his first major league home run, a solo job in the bottom 4th, 5-3!

There was no W for Weeks, though, only an eeks. After a 2-out walk to Vega, his fifth in the game, he was yanked in the fifth inning – the lengthy at-bat had ended with him on 120 pitches. Citriniti escaped with a strikeout and also did the sixth. Pena even pitched the seventh inning without having all his limbs removed by blasted baseballs, but at the stretch, still up 5-3, the Raccoons started to remove regulars. Berto, Fowler, and Greenway were all replaced by the time Pena went back out for the eighth. Matt Dear singled, but Steve Nickas started the double play on Hansen. Stedham then left in a double switch that brought on Garavito and Maruyama. The former gave up a home run to Juan Herrera to begin the ninth, and when Prieto replaced him to try and secure the W, he gave up four base hits, the third of those being a 3-run homer by Vega. With another lead professionally blown, the Raccoons got to bat in the bottom 9th against Wyatt Hamill, hours after having emotionally and cerebrally distanced themselves from the task, and with all the good batter having gone home already. Pinkerton grounded out. Jose Brito – homered to left!? TWO maiden longballers in one game!? Manny Fernandez pinch-hit in the pitcher’s spot at #6 and walked. Maldonado batted for himself, hooked a Hamill fastball to deep left – and OUTTA HERE!!! 8-7 Raccoons!! Ramos 3-4, 2B; Nickas 1-1; Hooge 2-4, BB, 2B, 2 RBI; Greenway 2-4; Brito 1-1, HR, RBI; Stedham 2-4; Maldonado 1-5, HR, 2 RBI; Pena 1.2 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 1 K;

More importantly – nobody broke a leg. Let’s keep doing that.

The Baybirds lost their game on Saturday, thus Maldonado’s walkoff blast clinched home field in the CLCS. Homefield in the world series could only be won by the Wolves beating the Blue Sox after losing on Sunday, while we won our Sunday game, and then the draw for homefield, as we’d be even at 93 wins.

Contrary to expectations, we’d get the right-handed Brost on Sunday, our regular season finale. There were only three regulars (outside of Ottie) in the Sunday lineup, and Maldonado and Maruyama were likely to replace two of them at some point. Nick Valdes shook my paw and excused himself of the finale; he had to hit the office to short-sell 26 tons of peanuts for reasons I didn’t care about. The Raccoons were in the playoffs again!

Game 3
BOS: SS Gil – 3B Corder – RF M. Avila – LF W. Vega – 1B Uliasz – CF Hawthorne – C J. Herrera – 2B Sibley – P Brost
POR: 3B Caskey – CF Hooge – LF M. Fernandez – 1B Stedham – 2B Vickers – RF Pinkerton – C Kilmer – SS Nickas – P Ottinger

Manny hit a solo homer in the first and Ottie ripped a 2-out, 2-run double in the second, scoring Vickers and Kilmer to give himself a 3-0 lead before Caskey struck out. On the mound, Ottie allowed five hits and three walks through the first five innings, and somehow kept the Titans shut out at the same time; a crucial double play lined into by Willie Vega in the third inning had surely helped him with his traffic troubles. He sure was used up where the pitch count was concerned though and wouldn’t last more than six innings, not allowing a run to score in that, either. Him, Manny (who got stuck at 99 RBI), and Stedham were all replaced after the bottom 6th, with the Raccoons still clinging to their 3-0 lead from the early innings. David Fernandez walked two in a disturbing development, but didn’t allow a run in the top 7th, while Adam Potter pitched in relief in the bottom of the seventh inning and loaded the bases with the assorted sub-.200 batters Pinkerton, Kilmer, and Nickas, and nobody out. Maruyama struck out, but Caskey grounded to Corder for at least another run to score. Ed Hooge, the last regular not sent to AAA halfway through the season that was still in the game, drew a walk to restock the bags, but Maldonado flew out to centerfielder Tony Luna. Another out by Fernandez, two by Travis Sims, and a scoreless ninth by Nate Ward – and that was the end of the regular season! 4-0 Raccoons! Stedham 1-2, BB; Ottinger 6.0 IP, 5 H, 0 R, 3 BB, 5 K, W (11-11) and 1-2, 2B, 2 RBI;

In other news

The blown save and subsequent win taken by Dennis Citriniti on Tuesday was the 5,100th regular season win for the franchise. Could have done with less drama and an Ottie win, though!

September 29 – The Miners amount to one base hit, a second-inning single by OF/2B Chris Russell (.306, 13 HR, 97 RBI), against WAS SP Alfredo Vargas (15-6, 3.38 ERA), who whiffs nine in the 5-0 shutout.
September 30 – SFW 2B/SS Mario Colon (.234, 13 HR, 57 RBI) hits a 2-run homer for their only base hit in a 3-2 loss to the Gold Sox.
October 1 – WAS C Nate Evans (.301, 10 HR, 82 RBI) strikes a walkoff homer for the only score in the Capitals’ 1-0 win over the Miners.
October 2 – Dallas SP Mark Holliday (12-12, 4.23 ERA) no-hits the Warriors in a 1-0 defeat, allowing one walk while whiffing two. The walk to Sioux Falls’ OF Juvenal Grilo (.215, 0 HR, 5 RBI), his own errant pickoff throw, Nick Rozenboom’s groundout, and Mario Colon’s (.233, 13 HR, 60 RBI) create the only run of the game in the bottom of the first inning, and the Stars manage only five hits and no runs themselves.

FL Player of the Week:
CL Player of the Week:

FL Hitter of the Month: WAS 1B Adam Avakian (.338, 24 HR, 118 RBI), batting .394, 3 HR, 28 RBI
CL Hitter of the Month: BOS OF Willie Vega (.245, 15 HR, 78 RBI), batting .418, 4 HR, 28 RBI
FL Pitcher of the Month: SAL SP Eric Peck (13-11, 3.50 ERA), hurling 5-0, 1.62 ERA, 30 K
CL Pitcher of the Month: BOS SP Tony Chavez (16-10, 2.66 ERA), hurling 5-1, 1.62 ERA, 40 K
FL Rookie of the Month: PIT OF Adrian Wade (.305, 13 HR, 64 RBI), batting .307, 3 HR, 16 RBI
CL Rookie of the Month: CHA SP Lorenzo Campos (13-12, 4.89 ERA), hurling 5-0, 2.31 ERA, 23 K

Complaints and stuff

YAASS!!!

Playoffs, baby!!

And it didn’t even come down to the final game on Monday, the make-up date between the Arrowheads and Knights, which was meaningful in a way – before the game the 81-81 Buffos held the last protected pick in the ’38 draft, but a Knights loss would tie them for that #12 pick and require a draw. It came differently, with Atlanta winning on Monday over the depressed Indians, thus letting the Buffos keep their protected pick.

Losing Tony Morales so late sucked, but at least we had another catcher with a bat on hand in Garcia, and the off days allowed a guy to catch every game in the playoffs. There would be a few interesting choices where the playoff roster was concerned, especially relating to Josh Weeks and where to fit him in. There was no such concern for Colt Willes, who fit best and solely in one of the dumpsters behind the ballpark. The one with the perpetual lake at the bottom I’d suggest.

Taking two of three from the Titans broke a string of more than a decade’s worth of baseball during which the Raccoons had always finished with an even record. Their last season with odd win and loss totals had been a 73-89 campaign in *2023*. This year, an odd bunch at 93-69. Which is not the 102 wins I advertised before the season, but given the first half that went like glue, and a scuffling September, I’ll be content with what I got.

We led the league in stolen bases, though injuries played a part in us getting nowhere near a sack per game, and for a change also hit more homers than we gave up. We even finished third in runs scored *and* runs allowed at the end, and let me be honest, they didn’t feel like a #3 offensive team for much too long…

None of it matters. We’re in the playoffs. The other suckers aren’t. The Baybirds will be here in a few days.

Food for thought – our weird scout guy took away Berto’s shortstop rating, and he is now a player without a position in our own scouting book of wisdom. Not so awesome!

Fun Fact: The first no-hitter ever for the Stars’ franchise came of course on the road, and it is also the first no-hitter thrown by a losing pitcher.

Prior to this, the only pitcher to even give up a run in a no-hitter had been the Raccoons’ Manuel “Bam Bam” Movonda, in a 2-1 masterpiece over the Condors in 1998.

+++

I did a boo-boo and went to Tuesday before taking the screenshot of the roster, which replaces the expanded roster with the playoff roster. Please peruse the stats for the 40-man roster instead.

And don’t complain! You know I suck!

[Questdog]

Nothing beats clinching the division with a 9 to 1 loss!

Congrats!

Is this the most home runs ever by 3 outfielders for the Raccoons?

[Westheim]

Yes, and it is not close. Off the top of my head I would have thought of three potential “eras” where a Raccoons team could have hit more, and they all feature in the top 10 further down, but none of them came close.

The team hit the third-most home runs overall in franchise history – 142 – coming behind the otherwise perfectly rancid 2003 crew (143), and the 1989 team that socked 153 homers and then lost the World Series because Glenn Johnston’s spastic paw couldn’t hold on to the Wolves’ Ed Parrell’s fly in Game 6.

Am I piping about that more often than back when “Keith Ayers out at home” was a running gag?

The 2037 trio of Fowler, Fernandez, and Greenway (who hit 18 for Portland) hit 72 bombs in total, blasting the previous record by double digits.

That record of 61 bombs had been set in the 90s by the juicy set of Dan The Man, Neil Reece, and Vern Kinnear, and then tied in the year that banished the Decade of Darkness, with Luke “Duke Smack” Black getting valuable support from Tomas Castro and Matt Pruitt. That’s two of the candidate groups I had in mind; the third being the Mendoza-DeWeese combo, but the first year of the DeWeese contract Mendoza wasn’t here yet and DeWeese (who hit 31 that year, 2016) had no support (from outfielders; Ronnie McKnight and Matt Nunley hit 27 between them to complete the overall top 3; the third-best outfielder that year? Cookie Carmona!!), and began to sag by the third year of that deal. When Mendoza arrived, he played almost exclusively first base, so it doesn’t count, and by the time he played the outfield, DeWeese was only a source of rage, then made the Falcons’ problem.

Most home runs by any three Portland Raccoons outfielders*:

1st – 2037 – 72 HR – Justin Fowler (33), Manny Fernandez (21), Troy Greenway (18)
t-2nd – 1992 – 61 HR – Daniel Hall (24), Neil Reece (21), Vern Kinnear (16)
t-2nd – 2007 – 61 HR – Luke Black (31), Tomas Castro (19), Matt Pruitt (11)
4th – 1994 – 60 HR – Royce Green (38), Vern Kinnear (13), Neil Reece (9)
5th – 2020 – 59 HR – Hugo Mendoza (38), R.J. DeWeese (15), Eddie Jackson (6)
t-6th – 1982 – 58 HR – Mark Dawson (25), Daniel Hall (18), Ramón Borjón (15)
t-6th – 2035 – 58 HR – Justin Fowler (26), Jimmy Wallace (20), Manny Fernandez (12)
t-6th – 2036 – 58 HR – Justin Fowler (27), Manny Fernandez (19), Ed Hooge (12)
9th – 2008 – 57 HR – Luke Black (33), Ron Alston (14), Tomas Castro (10)
t-10th – 1984 – 55 HR – Daniel Hall (29), Mark Dawson (22), Cisco Banda or Raúl Herrera (4 each)
t-10th – 1985 – 55 HR – Mark Dawson (22), Ricardo Gonzalez (21), Daniel Hall (12)
t-10th – 1996 – 55 HR – Royce Green (26), Neil Reece (15), Vern Kinnear (14)

*Totals of players that play both outfield and infield included as a whole, if they made at least 60 outfield appearances or half their total appearances were in the outfield, whatever is less. Sounds arbitrary, but it is what it is.

Famous here-and-there players would include Mark Dawson in the 80s, who played all four corners, was mostly an outfielder through ’85, and then mostly the third baseman, and then Hugo Mendoza, who was the first baseman of choice in 2018 and 2019, but played mostly rightfield from 2020 until he was traded in disgust in 2022. Rich Hereford played five positions, but only played a qualifying amount of his time in the outfield in his last two years, 2030 and 2031.

[Westheim]

2037 CONTINENTAL LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES
Portland Raccoons (93-69) vs. San Francisco Bayhawks (90-72)

Before any fun could be had on the field, the baseball gods and the league office demanded a 25-man playoff roster be constructed. Technically, the Raccoons had 28 eligible players for that roster – everybody on the 25-man on August 31, as well as Alberto Ramos and the two pitchers that returned afterwards, Colt Willes and Josh Weeks. Willes had sucked the leather off the baseballs and nobody wanted part of his bum in the CLCS. Weeks was placed on the roster indeed, with reliever Nate Ward getting bumped into the cheap seats. He had had his moments, but also a 5.55 ERA with the Coons, and while Weeks was not tagged for a starting job out of the gate – we’d go with the Bernie, Sparkes, Sabre, Ottie group – he was there for long man duties and if one of the other guys got humped his first time around, Weeks could replace him the second time through … if we made it that far.

Now, of course the Raccoons had also shed Tony Morales to a knee contusion, so there was a pinch at catcher – only Fernando Garcia remained for eligible catchers. But of course it was possible to get a replacement catcher (Jeff Kilmer) onto the playoff roster, compensating for that. With Cosmo Trevino and Dave Myers, two starting infielders had ended up on the DL in September, and to make up the numbers there, Jesus Maldonado was nominated as replacement.

So, in essence, Ward, Morales, Cosmo, and Myers were not on the playoff roster amongst eligible players and/or were taken off compared to the roster on August 31. Instead, Weeks, Ramos (both off DL), Kilmer, and Maldonado (both as injury replacements) were on the playoff roster.

There was no way to smuggle both Jon Caskey and Jesus Maldonado on the roster, and in doubt we preferred the guy that could replace Fowler on defense, which left Ed Hooge around as left-handed pinch-hitter. Our backup infielders would be Nickas and Brito, which was pretty dismal. In fact, Maldonado was going to start at third base, because otherwise we’d have to use Nickas there. Rich Vickers would get the start at second base in all games, but since he’d bat around #7, he was an interesting double switch selection with Brito replacing him in the #9 hole.

+++

Opposite the Raccoons would be the Bayhawks, who lost five of their last seven games to forego homefield advantage, so the series would start in Portland, which was only fine by us.

The Raccoons’ strengths and weaknesses, like disintegrating defensive skills, were well known. And the Bayhawks? First, the Baybirds had no injuries to speak of. They were as healthy as they could get.

They had the #4 offense in the CL (Coons: #3), but were allowing the second-fewest runs thanks to the prime rotation. Their pen was only average, but they beat the Raccoons on D and had a run differential almost 40 runs better than the Critters. Their record in 1-run games was 20-27, which was a) bad, and b) a lot of 1-run games in the first place.

If you knocked out their starters early, you could really feast on the pen. Unfortunately patience was not our strongest quality…

There was something else playing in the Raccoons’ favor here – platoon matchups. The Bayhawks had a lot of lefty relievers, but figured to bring up four right-handed starters for the series. Since the Raccoons would have at least four lefty bats in the lineup, this was very much to our liking (and losing Morales now hurt double). If Justin Fowler didn’t break out of his slump, he could even be replaced by Hooge, adding another lefty bat. The Bayhawks’ lineup meanwhile was heavily right-handed; they had one lefty hitter (Pablo Sanchez, the 43-year-old who might never make the Hall of Fame for never retiring), and three switch-hitters, but only one of them (Alex Castillo) figured to be a regular in the lineup. Since the Raccoons *also* expected carting up four righty starters (with Weeks their only serious lefty option), this could only help us.

The season series had ended 5-4 in Portland’s favor.

+++

For the Raccoons, this was their 15th playoff ticket, tying the Pacifics for third overall behind Boston (19) and Tijuana (17). The Bayhawks only made their eighth playoff appearance. They had one title to the Raccoons’ four, with the Critters tying for fourth-most championships with the Capitals. Only the Titans (10…), Crusaders (7), and Pacifics (6) had more.

These teams had met in the CLCS three times before. The Raccoons knocked the Bayhawks out twice in the 90s during their 3-year run of meeting the Capitals in the World Series (fun times!), but had lost the CLCS in 2017, then part of the string of three straight CLCS losses.

No pitcher on the Raccoons’ playoff roster had ever won a championship; while Mauricio Garavito was the elder statesman of the bullpen, he had only arrived from those Bayhawks in 2029, one year after the Raccoons’ most recent set of rings.

For position players, Berto was the only guy that had won two (2026, 2028) with the Critters, also taking Rookie of the Year honors in the former season. Justin Fowler, who was part of the Pacifics team that lost the ’26 Series to the Raccoons (and had been his league’s Rookie of the Year the same season!), had three rings, all won with L.A. in 2027, 2030, and 2032.

That was it. That was ALL the experience of hoisting a trophy we could show off. The Bayhawks had eight rings distributed between six players, including relief man Kevin Surginer, who had won his two with the 2026 and 2028 Raccoons.

[Westheim]

2037 CONTINENTAL LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES
Portland Raccoons (93-69) vs. San Francisco Bayhawks (90-72)

And then, Thursday, October 8, arrived. So did the Bayhawks. The teams would fight out the rights to play the FL champs in the World Series, with the FLCS having begun the day prior. The house was packed, and so was the brown couch, with Slappy, Valdes, me, Honeypaws, and Fairydust all crammed together, munching snacks and fighting over them. Thankfully Cristiano Carmona brought his own seating wherever he went! Only Slappy, sitting squat in the middle, maintained his calm, and firm grip of his bottle.

Game 1 – Bernie Chavez (13-10, 3.38 ERA) vs. Gilberto Rendon (14-14, 3.53 ERA)

Rich Hereford threw out the first pitch, having been part of the last Raccoons team to win a World Series. The anthem was performed by Uncle Kevin, a city icon, who had started recycling industrial trash to furnish musical instruments from them in 2001. He played the anthem on an oboe he had built himself from some old pipes.

It’s so pretty I think I must cry …!

The Raccoons faced their former member Gilberto Rendon, although he had not been part of a ringed squad, or even one that was any good. With the exception of Ed Hooge, all the lefty bats were in there.

SFB: LF Balderrama – SS Greer – 2B M. Hurtado – 1B McGrath – RF P. Sanchez – 3B Da – CF Coca – C Umanzor – P G. Rendon
POR: SS Ramos – C Garcia – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Fowler – 1B Stedham – 2B Vickers – 3B Maldonado – P Chavez

While the urge was definitely there, Bernie Chavez didn’t allow a homer in the first inning, but Marshall Greer and Kevin McGrath hit sizable fly balls that ended with outfielders, while Mario Hurtado walked on four pitches. Manny Fernandez had the first actual hit of the series, a 2-out double in the bottom 1st, but was left on when Greenway grounded out to Hurtado. Bernie opened the second with a walk to the ancient Pablo Sanchez, then gave up a single to Zhao-jun Da that went past Vickers, and with that, trouble had arrived – the 43-year-old Sanchez sprinted all the way to third base, and there was nobody out. Bernie put on his grim face, dug in, and struck out the 7-8-9 batters in order to escape the jam.

Not that the Bayhawks stopped poking any time soon – they successfully ran up Bernie Chavez’ pitch count early and by a lot, and hit another two singles through Edgardo Balderrama and Hurtado in the third inning, but again failed to score. The Raccoons then stirred in the bottom 3rd, inspired by Bernie’s 1-out single through Da into leftfield. Berto singled softly, and Garcia singled right in front of Balderrama, keeping Bernie honest and at third base, but they were now stacked up for Manny Fernandez. Nick Valdes remarked that if they scored a run now, they’d take the lead, which was very helpful, and that if they scored multiple runs, they’d take an even bigger lead, which was a completely new insight for me. Manny ran a full count before clipping a soft ball into centerfield, Tony Coca, a Gold Glover a long, long time ago, couldn’t even get near the ball, and the Raccoons took a 1-0 lead on the single. A Greenway sac fly extended the lead to 2-0, but Fowler struck out, stranding two.

And then the Bayhawks chopped three straight singles off Bernie right away in the fourth, with Eduardo Umanzor driving in Da to narrow the gap to 2-1. A bunt and a sac fly tied the game, and then Marshall Greer dropped a single between Vickers and Greenway for a 3-2 Bayhawks lead. Hurtado grounded out, but McGrath tacked on with a jack to begin the fifth inning, 4-2.

That was all anybody saw of Bernie in this game, and I was ready to bite into the jagged edges of a bottle I had just broken on the edge of the table, but the Raccoons put the tying runs on the corners with nobody out in the bottom 5th. Berto singled, advanced on a wild pitch, and reached third when Rendon fumbled Garcia’s roller for an error. Rendon, who had allowed seven hits against one strikeout, not necessarily better than Bernie’s line, couldn’t remove Fernandez with two strikes, and instead gave up a double up the rightfield line. Berto scored, 4-3, but Garcia had to be held up at third base. Greenway brought in the tying run with a groundout, and Fowler scored Fernandez with another groundout, taking a 5-4 lead!

The Vickers double switch happened as early as the sixth inning, with Stedham’s infield single stretching the bottom 5th long enough to clear Vickers’ spot. Citriniti went in there, with Brito batting ninth, following up a Maldonado single with an RBI double to centerfield in the bottom 6th! Berto was walked intentionally, Garcia popped out, and Manny whacked an RBI double off lefty Jesus Rodarte, tying an age-old CL record for doubles in a playoff game with three. Greenway struck out against Rodarte, but Justin Fowler, an easy strikeout recently, we must admit, shot a single up the middle for two more runs, running the lead to 9-4, at which point there was a lot of excitement in the office and I double-high-fived Cristiano with enough vigor to send his wheelchair rolling back into one of the bobblehead cabinets. Oh, it’s alright, Slappy will clean up later!

Citriniti got one out in the seventh, and Mauricio Garavito got two, after which we gave the ball to Travis Sims in the eighth, and he produced a bases-loaded situation on three 1-out singles. Oh well, why not blow a 9-4 lead? That’s what you get from Travises! They’re all the same!! Prieto entered, walked in a run against Greer, then got a double play started by Brito, 4-6-3, on Hurtado’s grounder, bailing out of the inning. Manny Fernandez opposed giving up the lead and smashed a 2-run homer off Eric Fox in the bottom 8th, and THAT should put the game away for good, shouldn’t it!? It did – Yeom Soung pitched a scoreless ninth, not because we needed him for a 6-run lead, but because my main concern was running out of right-handed relievers…!

Raccoons 11, Bayhawks 5 – Raccoons lead series 1-0

Ramos 2-4, BB; Garcia 2-5; M. Fernandez 5-5, HR, 3 2B, 5 RBI; Maldonado 2-4; Brito 1-2, 2B, RBI;

Five hits? Also tying a CL playoff record, and it had been done only five times in a nine-inning game, including by otherwise blasted Raccoon Alex White in 1983. Takahashi Higashi, Mike Herrera, and B.J. Manfull were the other players on that list.

Three doubles in a regulation playoff game had been done by a Raccoon before – Berto in the 2026 World Series.

Game 2 – Bryce Sparkes (14-9, 2.99 ERA) vs. Josh Long (18-11, 3.89 ERA)

Long had faced and beaten the Raccoons twice this year, including a complete-game 9-hitter for a 4-3 W on August 31. Things exist, you wouldn’t believe it…

The national anthem was sung by Timmy, nine years old, from Arbor Lodge, in the north of Portland. He had won a contest to sing the anthem for Game 2. He also sounded like a ****ing siren and we’d know better next time we tried to be original.

First pitch was thrown out by Carl Bean, as close to an ace as the Raccoons had between 2000 and 2003. He was notable in being brought in via trade from Denver, with the Gold Sox receiving, among others, future Hall of Famer Antonio Donis, and being traded to the Loggers eventually for all 300 pounds of Edgar “Fat Cat” Amador.

SFB: LF Balderrama – SS Greer – 2B M. Hurtado – 1B McGrath – RF P. Sanchez – 3B Da – CF Coca – C Umanzor – P J. Long
POR: SS Ramos – C Garcia – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Fowler – 1B Stedham – 2B Vickers – 3B Maldonado – P Sparkes

Both teams carted up the Game 1 lineup, and the Raccoons sure hoped for similar results. Balderrama hit a ball over the fence to begin the game – except that the ball bent around the outside of the foul pole, missing it by inches, and he had to retreat to the box after having gone as far as second base with both arms raised. He then hit a drive to Troy Greenway, who bounced off the fence in making that catch. The worst that really happened in the top 1st was a Greer single into center. Berto singled in the bottom 1st, but never got off first base.

First blood was drawn unexpectedly by Rich Vickers, hitting a 420-footer over the fence in centerfield for some awes in the bottom 2nd, putting the Coons up 1-0. Ah yes, Vickers. Mediocre in most respects, but occasionally he’d have a hot week. If his hot week was in this series, all the better.

The Bayhawks soon took it all back, and the lead, with 2-out singles by Balderrama and Hurtado in the third inning, then a 2-run double down the line hit by Hurtado. Fernando Garcia tied the game the same inning with a 2-out solo homer of his own, but you couldn’t help but be buried to the n-th degree by the Raccoons’ shaky starting pitching at this point…

Baybird Nation took the lead again in the fourth inning, and Sparkes was just getting spanked by now. Tony Coca, the damn ex-Elk, homered to left, and Umanzor and Long (!!) hit doubles to produce another run. I was greatly dismayed, and Nick Valdes opined that he’d prefer not to pay for THAT performance. – Well, he’s gonna be arbitration eligible, Nick, I don’t know, whether – Okay, Nick, dump or kill, whatever is easier.

Sparkes was spanked some more in the fifth, Pablo Sanchez slugging in a 2-out run with a hard single (though the run was unearned for an earlier Maldonado error), and the Raccoons yanked their hapless starter early again. Sims was supposed to just get out of the inning and then be pinch-hit for in the bottom 5th, but gave up a homer to Da, putting the Raccoons in a 7-2 hole and more or less tying the series.

Derek Barker pitched two scoreless for Portland while the Raccoons were not even getting on base against Long, who after the Garcia homer retired them in order, without exceptions, until the Bayhawks lifted him for pitch count concerns after eight innings. He had allowed only three base hits to the Critters. David Fernandez and Josh Weeks pitched scoreless innings for Portland, with right-hander Ryan Kinner coming in for the bottom of the ninth. Berto struck out. Garcia grounded out. Fernandez struck out.

Bayhawks 7, Raccoons 2 – series tied at one

Barker 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 2 K;

I know, Nick, I know. – I am just upset as you are. – Well, maybe we should wait for them to play the series to conclusion before giving them to charity.

[Westheim]

2037 CONTINENTAL LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES
Portland Raccoons (93-69) @ San Francisco Bayhawks (90-72)

A kingdom for a pitcher that can get anybody out! We’d try Ottie in Game 3. Sabre was lined up for Game 4. Bernie had not pitched in a way that made us think starting him three times in the series was going to bring much success our way…

Game 3 – Jared Ottinger (11-11, 3.62 ERA) vs. Ben Lipsky (13-10, 3.11 ERA)

The Raccoons stuck to the same lineup, which made sense given that outside of Ed Hooge our bench was mostly warm bodies to make sure nobody would abduct the snacks from the dugout when nobody was in there…

Oh well, at least I was far away from Nick Valdes for a few days.

All relievers were available after the off day, even Travis Sims, the dismal tosser.

POR: SS Ramos – C Garcia – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Fowler – 1B Stedham – 2B Vickers – 3B Maldonado – P Ottinger
SFB: LF Balderrama – SS Greer – 2B M. Hurtado – 1B McGrath – RF P. Sanchez – 3B Da – CF Coca – C Umanzor – P Lipsky

Lipsky walked Garcia and Manny in the top of the first, but neither of our 4-5 hitters could shove a ball through the infield and the runners were stranded. Ottie retired the first five in a row before Da singled through Maldonado and Coca hit a terrible blooper to shallow right that Greenway caught while taking a tumble on the field, but he held on to the ball and the inning ended.

The Raccoons had only one hit the first time through, a Vickers single, while Lipsky would rip a double off Ottie in the third inning, but couldn’t get a helping claw from the rest of the lineup. While the Raccoons’ offense remained morose, with a Fowler single in the fourth being another early highlight, even though it led nowhere, the Bayhawks put Hurtado and McGrath on base with soft singles leading off the bottom 4th. Sanchez grounded out, advancing the runners, and Fowler caught a soft Da fly, but couldn’t throw out Hurtado at home plate, and thus the Raccoons trailed again. Coca popped out to strand McGrath in scoring position.

Berto hit a single in the fifth and was picked off to end the inning, which was also not quite how we wrote it up in the playbook. Also not accounted for – Ottinger coming apart ENTIRELY in the bottom 5th. He walked Lipsky (…), threw a wild pitch, allowed an RBI double to Balderrama, and then walked the bases full before being yanked. Citriniti came in, struck out McGrath, then yielded for David Fernandez, who walked Sanchez in a full count, giving the Baybirds a third run before Da hacked himself out.

Nothing good EVER happened to the Raccoons at the ****ing Bay.

Top 6th, leadoff walk to Garcia. Fernandez singled to left, putting the tying run in the box, in this case Greenway, who was 0-for-9 with 2 RBI in the series. Well, ain’t gonna get a ribbie without a hit here, sunshine! – … except that a wild pitch advanced the runners, and Lipsky ultimately walked the batter to load the bases with nobody out (uh-oh) for Fowler, who fell to 0-2, then did meet a ball, but lined out to Hurtado, and the Bayhawks almost doubled off a scrambling Fernandez, who BARELY got the paw back into second base. One run scored on Stedham’s grounder, but when Vickers also grounded out, the inning ended.

San Francisco appeared to put the game away in the bottom of the inning, which saw David Fernandez face right-handed batters, walk Tony Coca, and getting obliterated with an Umanzor homer, 5-1. Balderrama tripled off Barker and scored on a groundout, adding another run the Baybirds didn’t need. Or so you’d think. Lipsky allowed Maldonado and Brito on base to begin the seventh, and while Berto flew out to left, Garcia flew out OF left, hitting a 3-piece that brought the Coons back to within a pair. While the Birds scrambled for a replacement, Fernandez hit a ground-rule double before Jose Lerma, a southpaw and former starter, could be brought in. He grounded out Greenway, then balked in Manny to narrow the gap to 6-5. Fowler struck out, ending the inning.

Come the eighth, Ed Hooge hit for Barker and singled, putting the tying run on base with one out against Jose Moreno. Maldonado was next and hit an 0-1 pitch into the gap, and neither Balderrama nor Coca were going to get there. Extra-bases, Hooge was sent around drawing a throw – SAFE! Tied ballgame! Six-each, and the go-ahead run at second base with one out! Unfortunately both Brito and Berto flew out, failing to score that run…

After Prieto dismissed the bottom of the order without issues in the eighth, the Raccoons faced Kinner in the ninth. Garcia drew the leadoff walk, and Jeff Kilmer ran for him, having non-trivial speed. A hit-and-run saw Manny grounding to Mike Moran at first base, who looked up to see whether Kilmer was gonna make it, then lost track in the ball until it hit him in the guts. He was given a painful error, and the Coons had first and second and nobody out for Greenway, STILL hitless. Kinner, showing nerves, walked the slugger in a full count, and now the bags were full, nobody out, and Fowler at the plate. He HAD to get a run in, that’s what he was being paid millions for!! And he … kinda did and didn’t. He didn’t get an RBI. But Kinner, in a full count, sweating like a pig, twitched with his leg while on the rubber, and immediately was called out for it; “BALK!!” the home plate ump yelled while stepping out from behind Umanzor, sparking a major murmur in the ballpark. Kilmer jogged home, 7-6, and Kinner snapped a few remarks at the ump before being counseled by the pitching coach and manager. He got a comebacker from Fowler on the next pitch, keeping the runners pinned, but Stedham hit away at the very first pitch, shot it into centerfield, and two runs scored!!

(jumps up and down screaming like a moron GGNNGG-HHHNN-PORTLAAAAAAAAND!!!

Nickas and Maldonado made outs to end the top 9th, with Soung getting the 1-2-3 batters for the bottom 9th with a 3-run lead. Balderrama singled. Greer singled, runner to third. NOOOO. Then came the array of switch-hitters, which had replaced defensively wonky and/or retirement-age players. Castillo popped out. Moran hit an RBI single. Jaden Pridgeon hit a 1-2 looper to shallow left with Manny racing in and making a ****ing shoestring catch …! Two outs, Sonny Deming, a right-hander, at the plate. Technically, the Raccoons had seen enough of Soung now, but the only righty arm in the pen was Sims, and … no. Deming shot a single up the middle, plating another run. What the actual heck, SOUNG!!!! Tony Coca was surely gonna kill them, wasn’t he? He was in the box with two outs, tying run on second, winning run on first. The Raccoons COULD NOT bring any other pitcher except maybe Garavito. No, it was Soung against Coca. First pitch, slapped up the middle, Berto rushing over, picking the ball on his side of second base, beating Deming by two strides, and this ballgame ended with me sweat-soaked and stinking, but screaming and bliss.

Raccoons 9, Bayhawks 8 – Raccoons lead series 2-1

Garcia 1-2, 3 BB, HR, 3 RBI; M. Fernandez 2-4, BB, 2B; Hooge 1-1;

OH BOY.

Can we get ANY starter to log an out in the sixth, though? Weeks can’t replace all o’ them!

Game 4 – Raffaello Sabre (11-8, 4.08 ERA) vs. Lorenzo Viamontes (16-9, 3.21 ERA)

Not a pitching matchup in our favor… at least the Raccoons had once bonked Viamontes for six runs this year, so maybe we could actually take an early lead and somehow hold it…?

POR: SS Ramos – C Garcia – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Fowler – 1B Stedham – 2B Vickers – 3B Maldonado – P Sabre
SFB: LF Balderrama – SS Greer – 2B M. Hurtado – 1B McGrath – RF P. Sanchez – 3B Da – CF Coca – C Umanzor – P Viamontes

That would be a firm NO. Sabre retired the Bayhawks in order in the first, and in the second put McGrath on with a single and gave up bombs to both Pablo Sanchez and Eduardo Umanzor, plummeting into a 3-0 hole, and I wished I could just plummet into the goddamn Bay next to the ballpark and be done with it all…

Fernando Garcia continued his single-pawed quest to keep the Raccoons in the games with a solo homer in the third, narrowing the gap to 3-1, but Sabre kept getting waffled with two outs in the bottom 3rd. Hurtado hit an infield single, he walked McGrath, and then gave up an RBI single to the sport’s most annoying pensioner. Da would pop out to Fowler in shallow center to strand two in the 4-1 game.

96 pitches carried Sabre through precisely five innings, tying Bernie Chavez’ team-best result from Game 1, which was just not a sustainable quality of starting pitching. They were going to get an extremely productive offense ****ing killed by being collectively horse ****. Top 6th, Greenway finally broke into the H column with a leadoff double to right-center. Fowler singled, and the tying run came to the plate with Critters on the corners. Stedham was batting a steady .143 in the CLCS, but drew a walk, loading the bags for Vickers, who could pick this moment for one of his more marvelous upset grand slams, but settled for an RBI single past Hurtado in a 2-0 count, which was FINE… at least he kept the line moving, and got the Bayhawks’ pen stirring. Maldonado though hit into a double play, run-scoring as it was, that was more horse ****. Sit over there by the pitchers, you fool!!

Bizarrely, the tying run scored on a passed ball as a very sloppily played CLCS sought new climaxes. Preston Pinkerton, batting for Sabre, singled anyway, but Berto grounded out.

The Raccoons were about to run out of right-handed relief pitching; with the 6-7-8 batters up, they HAD to get a clean inning from Sims. If not the 6-7-8, who then?? A K and two groundouts indeed got him through those three batters, and the score remained tied at four at the end of six.

Portland got 2-out singles from Greenway and Fowler in the seventh, but Stedham grounded out, while at the same time we got a bit carried away. Sims struck out Viamontes to begin the bottom 7th, and then we just left him in now that he had found his groove. A strikeout to Balderrama, and then Greer hit a 2-2 fly to deep center and scared the living crap out of me, but Fowler got back there and made the catch.

The offense remained unproductive after tying the score, while the Raccoons tried to cheat their way through the bullpen, which sooner or later ended with a big knell. That knell was Tony Coca, the ****ing ex-Elk, finding McGrath (Garavito’s runner) and Da on the corners with two outs, and blasting Dennis Citriniti all the way back to Sioux Falls with a 3-run homer. All the Raccoons could muster in response was a Manny Fernandez homer with two outs off Kinner, but nobody else reached base and they lost, excoriatingly, despite out-hitting the Baybirds 12-8.

Bayhawks 7, Raccoons 5 – series tied at two

Greenway 2-5, 2B; Fowler 2-4; Vickers 2-4, RBI; Maldonado 2-4; Pinkerton (PH) 1-1; Sims 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 3 K;

At this point, the Raccoons had NINE pitchers with an ERA of six or well above. The only exceptions were Weeks (1 IP, 0 R), Barker (3.2 IP, 1 R), and Prieto (1.2 IP, 0 R). Everybody else was getting hammered.

I called Maud at night, discussing a thing or two for Game 6 and (maybe) 7 arrangements in Portland, and when she asked me whether I wanted anything else, I glumly replied that I really wished I had some weights to chain to my ankles…

Game 5 – Bernie Chavez (13-10, 3.38 ERA) vs. Gilberto Rendon (14-14, 3.53 ERA)

Bernie. Please.

POR: SS Ramos – C Garcia – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Fowler – 3B Maldonado – 2B Vickers – 1B Stedham – P Chavez
SFB: LF Balderrama – SS Greer – 2B M. Hurtado – 1B McGrath – RF P. Sanchez – 3B Da – CF Coca – C Umanzor – P G. Rendon

Leadoff hits on either side went unused in the early innings, with Balderrama in the first, Greenway in the second, and Stedham in the third getting on base to start an inning, and being left on, yes, ignored entirely by their teams. Greenway even hit a leadoff double – to no avail. He also walked with one out in the fourth his next time up, but Fowler struck out and Maldonado grounded out.

Bernie’s leadoff walk issued to Hurtado in the bottom 4th made me feel queasy. While McGrath struck out, ancient curse Pablo Sanchez singled to left, and the Baybirds starting to close in and look for a place to drive their claws into, but Greenway showed hustle to catch a Da fly that was right over the rightfield line and could have dropped either way, and Coca went down on strikes for a change.

Stedham drew a walk in the fifth and was caught stealing, which also did not further our ambitions to go back to Portland up 3-2. However – Bernie shut out the Birds on three hits through five innings, so at least we’d get our starter into the sixth inning, FINALLY. Unfortunately, both offenses had died at the same time, and the Raccoons just couldn’t get anything off Rendon. And then the bottom 6th began with a Hurtado double up the rightfield line, and I feared the absolute worst, which of course happened – Kevin McGrath homered to left, and the Raccoons were in a hole. Again.

Ed Hooge batted for Bernie in the seventh in a must-hit situation, with Maldonado (single) and Stedham (2-out single) on base, and they were the tying runs. And the 1-1 pitch was hit to right, over Sanchez’ head, and HE ****ING DID IT!! Maldonado in to score, Stedham in to score, tied ballgame on Hooge’s double!! Jose Lerma replaced Rendon at once, but gave up another double to right to Ramos, that one scoring Hooge for a 3-2 lead …!

Garcia grounded out, and then Derek Barker came in to pitch in the #5 hole, with Fowler replaced for D. Balderrama’s solo homer tied the game, making the point moot.

Against Lerma, Fernandez and Greenway set up camp on the corners with a ball to the thigh that saw Manny hobble to first, but he was good enough to sprint to third base on his fellow outfielder’s single. Now having Fowler batting next would have been great, but alas, we had to send Preston Pinkerton to bat for Barker, who had just given us the 3-3 tie in the eighth. Pinks walked, setting a dreaded three on, no outs situation with Maldonado at the plate. His clip was up to .333/.368/.389 in the series, and he sniffed a chance to get a spot on next year’s roster and pushed a ball through the middle for an RBI single! Vickers hit a sac fly (on a 3-1 pitch…), while Stedham hit into a fielder’s choice, and Hooge whiffed.

The Raccoons sent Prieto into the bottom 8th, maybe, if he could be so kind, protecting the 5-3 lead. Pablo Sanchez and Alex Castillo reached the corners with a pair of 1-out singles, and the agony wasn’t going to end any time soon, was it? Coca struck out, bringing up San Fran’s own unexpected .333 hitter, Umanzor. Prieto assured everybody he had this, then walked him. Deming was in the #9 hole, but what now? Who to send?? The Raccoons rolled the worst die. With three on, two outs, Game 5 on the line, they brought David Fernandez against a right-handed batter. It worked as well as anticipated – he walked Deming, then gave up an RBI single to Balderrama, batting a ****ing .429; that tied the game. Greer popped out, stranding three, and while Berto reached base in the ninth, he was also caught stealing.

Out of idea, entirely, the Raccoons sent Bryce Sparkes into the bottom 9th – Weeks would be assigned the Game 6 start, unless the Bayhawks could find a way to walk off that would count for two, but for now they were retired in order. Coca singled off Sparkes in the 10th, but was doubled up.

While the Raccoons’ lineup refused to make an effort for another lead that would then invariably be blown, Sparkes worked his way around Balderrama’s 96th single in the series to keep the Raccoons in the game through 11 innings. Jeff Kilmer batted for him in the 12th with Fernandez on first base and two outs, facing the lefty Rodarte. Barely a chance, but the best the team could do right now. Kilmer flew out to right. Mauricio Garavito’s quick 12th ensured more agony in Game 5.

Jose Moreno pitched for San Fran in the 13th. Maldonado flew out easily, but Vickers dinked in a ball for a single. Stedham was next and ripped a ball up the rightfield line, and that was the perfect place to hit one, because Sanchez was still out there, still 43, and while he had decent range and a strong arm still, his movement was based on momentum – he didn’t easily reverse course. When Stedham’s ball passed between McGrath and the bag, its next bounce was right on the seam between grass and dirt, and the ball changed course slightly into foul territory, then caromed sharply off the edge of the stands that were jutting out towards the line. That one did Sanchez in – the ball shot by him, into the depths of right-center, the old man fell, and Tony Coca (a comparatively young and juicy 37) had to collect the ball. Stedham rushed all the way to third base with an RBI triple, and the tie was broken!! Hooge added an RBI single, and Berto also singled, but easy flies by Garcia and Fernandez kept anybody from scoring.

Bottom 13th, well past midnight on the East Coast. Yeom Soung against the 7-8-9. Coca grounded out to Nickas, having replaced Berto for D. Umanzor… grounded out to Nickas as well. Deming … singled to left. Oh for ****’s sake, Balderrama was back with his 1.207 OPS. And Yeom Soung sawed him apart in a 9-pitch battle with a full count, clinching this insane (and sometimes inane) game.

Raccoons 7, Bayhawks 5 (13) – Raccoons lead series 3-2

Ramos 2-6, BB, 2B, RBI; M. Fernandez 2-6; Greenway 2-5, BB, 2B; Maldonado 2-6, RBI; Stedham 3-5, BB, 3B, RBI; Hooge (PH) 2-4, 2B, 3 RBI; Chavez 6.0 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 5 K; Sparkes 3.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 1 K and 1-1;

Anybody else finding it hard to breath?

No, you all have your paws alternating between your food bowls and your stuffed cheeks pretty well…