2016 Expansion - Baseball in the Tragic Kingdom

pauwoo · 10-28-2018, 11:30 PM

It’s 2016.
Major League Baseball, citing population growth (science!) and an unprecedented appetite for more, um, baseball (who needs science?) have undergone a completely unnecessary and ill-conceived expansion to 32 teams.

The announcement of the two new clubs was coupled with several more, equally ill-conceived, um, announcements. They are, in no particular order, as follows:

1. Each league will henceforth (they didn’t use the word, ‘henceforth’, I added that myself… for the whimsy) be comprised of 16 teams.
2. Each leagues schedule shall be balanced.
3. With this expansion, we, the powers that be (think ‘illuminati’, where, said Illuminati's quest for a new world order is limited in scope to a chocolate confectionary that is running low on nougat) do hereby decree that interleague play shall cease. Immediately.
4. Each league will consist of four divisions of four teams. It’s dumb. You hate it. And we don’t care.
5. Two new clubs will be established. The first will call Charlotte, North Carolina home (makes sense, a city on the rise) and the second will be rooted in Orlando, Florida (The theme park capital of the world! Wait. What?).
6. We’re also moving Houston back to the National League.
7. Additionally, we’re moving Milwaukee back to the American League.

All well and good, I suppose. The MLB is gon’ MLB, as they say.

Really, I’m just setting the stage here, because this is where I come in… I’m on a beach, in SoCal, bagging rays and taking longboard lessons after having been summarily dismissed by the San Diego Padres for leading them to depths even their longtime faithful would never have deemed fathomable. A man of questionable intellect with verifiably poor general management acumen who was about to be handed the keys to the magic kingdom.

Listen, when my agent called to tell me that the Orlando ownership had expressed interest in me as a GM candidate, I showed great, if slightly ingenuine, excitement. When he told me that despite joining a group of teams swimming in a sea of naming convention plurality, they were to be called, simply, ‘Magic’, I didn’t balk. Not even once. No sir. I did what every baseball-loving red-blooded American would do in my position. I took the money and ran.

There are 162 games to go, we have 5 catchers on the 40-man roster, half a bag of sunflower seeds, it’s dark out and we’re wearing eye-black.

HIT IT!

Note: Planning on this being a single season dynasty.
Attachments: League Alignment

pauwoo · 10-29-2018, 08:15 AM

After surviving all the hullabaloo of the expansion draft, I settled into the business at hand. We had to take our collection of misfit toys and shape them into a baseball team. After a spring training that felt like an eternity and what felt like months on the phone trying to work out an equitable trade, we found ourselves stretching on the beautifully manicured field of Steamboat Park prior to our historic first game against the division rival, if you can call a team we’ve never played before that, Houston Astros. This would be the first of six home games over the start of the season. Let’s hope we don’t embarrass ourselves. Let’s hope people show up.

Game: 1 of 162
Date: April 4, 2016
Weather: Partly Cloudy (56 degrees)
Start Time: 7:05 pm EST
Time: 3:27
Attendance: 54156

Magic Walk Off with Win

The Orlando Magic put one in the win column on Opening Day at Steamboat Park. The Magic defeated the Houston Astros, 5-4. Orlando left fielder Marwin Gonzalez was instrumental in his team's success. He was 3 for 4 with a home run and a triple. He scored 2 runs.

Orlando won the game in the bottom of the tenth inning. With no outs and Ken Giles on the mound for Houston, center fielder Leonys Martin hit a dramatic solo home run, bringing Magic fans to their feet.

Gonzalez said afterward that he was "glad the fans were treated to a good ballgame."

RMc · 10-29-2018, 12:06 PM

The Orlando Magic

Adam Silver would like a word with you...

pauwoo · 10-29-2018, 12:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RMc

The Orlando Magic

Adam Silver would like a word with you...

Ha! In this world, only baseball matters. Plus I’m a lazy team name/logo/uniform creator. Silver will likely be more upset that we took the Charlotte Hornets as well.

RMc · 10-29-2018, 07:32 PM

Naah, nobody cares about the Hornets. (And besides, that was the name of a minor league baseball team long before the NBA used it!)

pauwoo · 10-29-2018, 09:42 PM

After pulling out all the stops for our inaugural game - Faith Hill singing the anthem, a rendition of "take me out to the ballgame" led by the Disney Princesses, and a stellar fireworks display - we came crashing back down to reality in our second game.

Game: 2 of 162
Date: April 5, 2016
Player of the Game: Colby Rasmus
Ballpark: Steamboat Park
Weather: Clear skies (69 degrees), wind blowing out to center at 9 mph
Start Time: 7:05 pm EST
Time: 3:20

Rasmus belts 2 home runs to Pull Astros to .500
The Houston Astros defeated the Orlando Magic, 10-2. Earning player of the game honors was left fielder Colby Rasmus, who was 2-4 with 2 home runs while adding 6 RBI and scoring twice. Houston starter Dallas Keuchel was credited with the win after throwing 116 pitches over 7 innings. His record now stands at 1-0. The win gives Houston a record of 1-1.

Rasmus had a big at-bat with the bases loaded in the top of the seventh inning when he hit a grand slam. The Astros went on to win.

"We put it together today and came out with the win," Rasmus said in postgame remarks. "That's the main thing."

10-28-2018, 11:30 PM	#1
pauwoo Hall Of Famer Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: Seattle Posts: 2,266	2016 Expansion - Baseball in the Tragic Kingdom It’s 2016. Major League Baseball, citing population growth (science!) and an unprecedented appetite for more, um, baseball (who needs science?) have undergone a completely unnecessary and ill-conceived expansion to 32 teams. The announcement of the two new clubs was coupled with several more, equally ill-conceived, um, announcements. They are, in no particular order, as follows: 1. Each league will henceforth (they didn’t use the word, ‘henceforth’, I added that myself… for the whimsy) be comprised of 16 teams. 2. Each leagues schedule shall be balanced. 3. With this expansion, we, the powers that be (think ‘illuminati’, where, said Illuminati's quest for a new world order is limited in scope to a chocolate confectionary that is running low on nougat) do hereby decree that interleague play shall cease. Immediately. 4. Each league will consist of four divisions of four teams. It’s dumb. You hate it. And we don’t care. 5. Two new clubs will be established. The first will call Charlotte, North Carolina home (makes sense, a city on the rise) and the second will be rooted in Orlando, Florida (The theme park capital of the world! Wait. What?). 6. We’re also moving Houston back to the National League. 7. Additionally, we’re moving Milwaukee back to the American League. All well and good, I suppose. The MLB is gon’ MLB, as they say. Really, I’m just setting the stage here, because this is where I come in… I’m on a beach, in SoCal, bagging rays and taking longboard lessons after having been summarily dismissed by the San Diego Padres for leading them to depths even their longtime faithful would never have deemed fathomable. A man of questionable intellect with verifiably poor general management acumen who was about to be handed the keys to the magic kingdom. Listen, when my agent called to tell me that the Orlando ownership had expressed interest in me as a GM candidate, I showed great, if slightly ingenuine, excitement. When he told me that despite joining a group of teams swimming in a sea of naming convention plurality, they were to be called, simply, ‘Magic’, I didn’t balk. Not even once. No sir. I did what every baseball-loving red-blooded American would do in my position. I took the money and ran. There are 162 games to go, we have 5 catchers on the 40-man roster, half a bag of sunflower seeds, it’s dark out and we’re wearing eye-black. HIT IT! Note: Planning on this being a single season dynasty. Attachments: League Alignment Attached Images

10-29-2018, 08:15 AM	#2
pauwoo Hall Of Famer Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: Seattle Posts: 2,266	Game 1 After surviving all the hullabaloo of the expansion draft, I settled into the business at hand. We had to take our collection of misfit toys and shape them into a baseball team. After a spring training that felt like an eternity and what felt like months on the phone trying to work out an equitable trade, we found ourselves stretching on the beautifully manicured field of Steamboat Park prior to our historic first game against the division rival, if you can call a team we’ve never played before that, Houston Astros. This would be the first of six home games over the start of the season. Let’s hope we don’t embarrass ourselves. Let’s hope people show up. Game: 1 of 162 Date: April 4, 2016 Weather: Partly Cloudy (56 degrees) Start Time: 7:05 pm EST Time: 3:27 Attendance: *54156* Magic Walk Off with Win The Orlando Magic put one in the win column on Opening Day at Steamboat Park. The Magic defeated the Houston Astros, 5-4. Orlando left fielder Marwin Gonzalez was instrumental in his team's success. He was 3 for 4 with a home run and a triple. He scored 2 runs. Orlando won the game in the bottom of the tenth inning. With no outs and Ken Giles on the mound for Houston, center fielder Leonys Martin hit a dramatic solo home run, bringing Magic fans to their feet. Gonzalez said afterward that he was "glad the fans were treated to a good ballgame." Attached Images

10-29-2018, 12:06 PM	#3
RMc All Star Starter Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 1,718	The Orlando Magic Adam Silver would like a word with you... __________________ "We're all behind our baseball team..."

10-29-2018, 07:32 PM	#5
RMc All Star Starter Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 1,718	Naah, nobody cares about the Hornets. (And besides, that was the name of a minor league baseball team long before the NBA used it!) __________________ "We're all behind our baseball team..."

10-29-2018, 09:42 PM	#6
pauwoo Hall Of Famer Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: Seattle Posts: 2,266	After pulling out all the stops for our inaugural game - Faith Hill singing the anthem, a rendition of "take me out to the ballgame" led by the Disney Princesses, and a stellar fireworks display - we came crashing back down to reality in our second game. Game: 2 of 162 Date: April 5, 2016 Player of the Game: Colby Rasmus Ballpark: Steamboat Park Weather: Clear skies (69 degrees), wind blowing out to center at 9 mph Start Time: 7:05 pm EST Time: 3:20 Rasmus belts 2 home runs to Pull Astros to .500 The Houston Astros defeated the Orlando Magic, 10-2. Earning player of the game honors was left fielder Colby Rasmus, who was 2-4 with 2 home runs while adding 6 RBI and scoring twice. Houston starter Dallas Keuchel was credited with the win after throwing 116 pitches over 7 innings. His record now stands at 1-0. The win gives Houston a record of 1-1. Rasmus had a big at-bat with the bases loaded in the top of the seventh inning when he hit a grand slam. The Astros went on to win. "We put it together today and came out with the win," Rasmus said in postgame remarks. "That's the main thing." Attached Images