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Old 03-11-2002, 12:06 PM   #1
crackpott
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Smile Tips on how to simulate a gunshot wound to the stomach without being fired upon...

you can do so by eating tainted food from dented cans.

Seriously though, if you for some reason checked out that stupid heading, you seem like you'd fit right in with my oddball bunch of owners in the <a href="http://members.rogers.com/crackpott/" target="_blank">FBBL</a>. Yes, that's right, the <a href="http://members.rogers.com/crackpott/" target="_blank">FBBL</a>. Say it with me now, <a href="http://members.rogers.com/crackpott/" target="_blank">FBBL</a>. Alright, that's enough of that. The league is borderline famous... many have heard of it, but few of the "OOTP elite" are actually IN it. What I can't stress enough is that the league is NOT worse than a 15 year old can of packaged meat. Repeat... NOT worse than old spam. In fact, 4 out of 5 dentists recommend it.

Sure it sounds like I'm drunk when I'm writing this, but I frankly don't give a damn. All this is filler. If you truly believe what a commish writes here about how his league is the best, then you haven't been around the OOTP scene very long. No one will say there's is the worst. So, I provided a link to let you judge yourself. That's all I needed to do. In turn, now I can list 10 things that you'll need to know to be in the league

Phil's top 10... actually, let's say top 11 so i'm not copying Letterman.

11. Kansas City is a good source of prospects. If you want some for your grizzled old veterans, that's your one-stop shop.
10. Boston will not trade with you unless he gets a superstar under 22 for cash. I'm sending social services after him because I'm not sure what he's doing with those kids...
9. Cleveland is the only good team open. If you want it, you'd better damn well show me why you should get it.
7. The DH blows.
6. So Does Ed Rogers.
5. To understand the context of "6" You'd have to have been in the league for a long long time. He's actually not bad, but I mean in a whole other context. To be one with the league, all you have to know is "So did you hear that Jay did ______ to Ed Rogers today?" It's something you'll commonly hear.
5. My head hurts.
4. Redheads are great.
3. Do not trade your prospects or picks for guys of little value to you.
2. Laura Prepon is hot.
1. Laura Prepon is really really hot. Any blasphemy involving her, and I'll cut your nuts off.

I think that'll do for now. If you're interested, mail me at crackpott@rogers.com (ironic address following this message, huh?) or catch me on AIM at BJGM or ICQ at 4249716. Note if you mail me, include your AIM name or ICQ number so I can talk to you.

oh ya... the #1 reason Canada is better than the U.S.... Taco Bell has fries here.
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Old 03-11-2002, 12:10 PM   #2
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I just realized I missed #8... let's say "Worship Laura" ...I simply can't stress that enough...

I'm really enjoying these Taco Bell fries right now.
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Old 03-11-2002, 12:12 PM   #3
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...but I had 2 fives. Oh well, counting isn't my strongsuit. Maybe I don't even have teams open and I just think I do... or maybe I'm just plastered. In any event, mail me just to be sure.
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