Yet Another OOTP6 Dynasty, Year 2: One Flew Over the Pale Hose

[cknox0723]

We've picked up some All-Star players already in Wells and Podsednik and some other seasoned pros. This is the ballclub we're going to win with.

That statement doesn't necessarily imply that it will apply to the August first rubber match of a three-game set with Minnesota, but it turns out to be the case anyway. And why not? I suppose it helps that the Twins are throwing their fifth starter in Neil Cotts (6-3) against our man, Jon Garland, whose 12-5 record compares with anyone in the American League.

It also helps that Cotts is throwing meatballs by the second inning. So fat and juicy are these meatballs that a left-handed Scott Podsednik is able to ignore which hand the meatball came from and instead focus on pummeling it over the right field fence. With all the trouble Cotts had already gotten himself into, of course that home run wasn't a solo shot, nor were those runners the only ones to touch home that inning. 4-0 Chicago heading into the bottom of the second. Jon Garland's only thrown seven pitches, and look at the lead.

Second sacker Mike Cuddyer takes a good cut at a four-seamer and cracks it into right to give the home half a baserunner for the bottom part of the order. Then "Jon Moo" throws a couple of lousy pitches to center fielder Torii Hunter, but that pales in comparison to his seventh pitch of the inning, one right in Hunter's wheelhouse that gets driven out of the house like a termite-infested family. Jon Garland's only thrown seven pitches this inning, and look what he's done.

Somehow the boy gets through the rest of the inning OK, something that the 26 year old southpaw Cotts would love to have said about the third. Wil Cordero cracks a one-out double for his second hit in two innings, and then we walk on. An otherwise harmless Jack Wilson fly ball is able to bring home Cordero because of all those walks, leading Cotts to an unceremonious slouched-shoulder walk to the dugout. His pitching line is maybe even more unceremonious and slouched - 2.2 IP, 5 H, 4 BB, 5 R, 2 K, 64 pitches (34 strikes). I don't think it would have helped if he threw more strikes, either.

But the same can be said for Garland, who's doing less damage by not throwing strikes. Like the uninhibited houseguest who rummages through your cupboards and has a particular problem with Mike Cuddyer, Garland's giving back runs as fast as we can score 'em. I guess the walks aren't much helping, either. The lead's down to one by the time three frames are in the books, but at least Torii Hunter struck out this time.

If I could put that moment in a bottle and save it forever, I would, 'cause it would've came in handy. A single and swipe of second by spectacular Scotty starts something sweet in the sfourth sframe, and second baseman Adam Kennedy's base knock gives us a little more cushion. Uh, scushion. The cushion is still the same by the time the fifth inning rolls around, but a single by Wil Cordero and a single by Frank Catalanotto shift things around a little bit. Miguel olivo succeeds at sacrificing the guys over, but without the nasty bloodshed and ritualistic aspects. The bottom of the order disappoints, but even a terrible team get a run home after getting a couple of guys in scoring position so quickly. We can, too. Spectacular Podsednik strikes out looking to end the inning, but maybe he was shooting some beaver. With a 7-4 lead, who could blame him?

But show me a guy who's lost so many productive ballgames to the vapid cesspool that is Milwaukee, and I'll show you a guy who should know better. Jon Garland had his share of struggles in the first few innings, but once upon a time the boy entered in a won-lost ledger of four and fifteen, and look where he is now.

Back where he started. In the bottom of the fifth, "Moo" tosses cowpies, not baseballs. I guess you could expect it with the middle of the order up, some good hitters in veteran 3B Koskie and .300 hitting SS Cintron and hulking LF Lee. But it's walks that get Garland in trouble, three miserable bases on balls that load the bases. Then one lousy pitch to Torii Hunter does more damage than it ever should. It's a completely innocuous grand slam to left field, but one so out of left field that I didn't really believe it even as the ball was soaring.

After a Joe Mauer double off the base of the center field fence, Garland strikes out right fielder Byrnes and first baseman Fullmer to end the inning. It's only eight-seven in favor of the ****ing Twins, but the deficit may as well be twenty. Both bullpens go into shutdown mode the rest of the way, eliminating even the thought of a baserunner for either side. The fine three innings from relievers Otsuka and Bevis are a testament to the benefits of strikethrowing; as for our guys, I can't really say I blame 'em for not pulling off (12.) The Comeback.

I just hope it's not the start of the old and tired song. I remember these sort of losses like they happened yesterday, and it's real easy to think that one will lead to many. I'm terrible with that **** all across my life; maybe you are, too.

But this is a different ballclub. Can't judge it by yesterday.

[zukes]

Originally Posted by cknox0723

A single and swipe of second by spectacular Scotty starts something sweet in the sfourth sframe,

Excellent alliteration dude!

[cknox0723]

An off-day in the beginning of August while in first place is baseball's equivalent of taking a big bite out of summer. I have been buying quite a bit of a watermelon recently, even though I am more of a banana or pear guy. Watermelon is a very summery fruit, you know.


Toronto spit out the seeds in their melon a few days ago, thereby avoiding choking on them unlike someone I won't mention. Then for good measure they pickled the watermelon rinds the next day.

Despite being Canadian and therefore dull, the Jays are the clear winners of this year's Trade Deadline Extravaganza (TM), having significantly beefed up a pitching staff that had relied on an extraordinary number of soft-tossers behind incomparable ace Roy Halladay, who will now remain up north for quite sometime after signing a long extension similar to the five-year, fifty-million shekel deal our ace Buehrle inked last year.

Toronto sent away a useful outfielder in 26 year old Laynce Nix (.282/.326/.444 in 365 AB); when you consider that their center fielder Alex Rios is hitting .202, you wonder if perhaps they're trading the right guy. But Nix is not a patient hitter and not really a source of power, and very rapidly, his salary's going to rise rapidly. This was the time to move him, and the return from the queenly New Yorkers was massive - a control artist with a 3.82 career ERA, right-hander Jae Seo, and the hard-throwing southpaw that the organization so desperately needs in 22 year old Scott Kazmir. Yes, even in this universe the Mutts can't hang onto the kid. Seo has an overinflated scouting report - I really doubt he will become the next Prime Minister of Chile as my scout seems to suggest - but he has had more major league success than anyone on Toronto's pitching staff save for Halladay, which has to count for something. The kid Kazmir can count to something, we know; his stat lines seem to suggest the answer to that conundrum is often four, but the southpaw's walk totals have never veered that far above four-and-a-half per nine, excepting this year. But you can give him a pass on the walks this year - he's 5-4 with a 3.45 ERA in AAA, and still touching 95 and 96 on the radar gun.

There's more good players going to Toronto in that trade than they're giving up. I like that kind of thinking. Even better was their midnight-hour move on July 31 that sent reliever Aqui Lopez (2-4, 4.02 in 56 IP) to who...? To Boston, of course, along with IF Dave Berg (who should have been a Pale Hose) and outfield filler in Gabe Gross. The other Sox really can be called the other Sox this season, since they unceremoniously punted away ten of thirteen to start the second half despite facing such powerhouses as last-place Tampa and last-place Oakland. The 32 year old right-hander Lopez is a change of pace from the veterans in the Beantown bullpen whose radar guns are suddenly reading, "Tilt", but he's not a change of pace because he's a late bloomer or throws a knuckleball. No, Aqui is a change of pace because he's just a lousy pitcher, a five-year veteran with a career ERA over four. Try telling that to his new ballclub, who plans to use him in setup relief.

Berg makes for a nice temp at second base, especially when the alternative is that vortex of suck with a .250 AVG and .300 SLG, Willie Bloomquist. Gross is no great shakes but handy to have on a team like this one, where there are only two decent outfielders and not three. But it's probably too late to address these things on July 31 when you're seven out of the division and three out of the wild card, and it's all meaningless anyway when the trade is really made just to expel malcontent reliever Grant Roberts, an expensive 29 year old pickup from the Mets (hey! and things come full circle!) this past offseason. The right-hander has a 3.36 career ERA and gives the Mounties (oops, Jays...so easy to confuse them) the Proven Closer (TM) they've been lacking all year. Sure, he's expensive. Sure, he'll only pitch seventy innings a year. It's still better than Eric Knott (2-4, 5.94 ERA).

The 27 year old pride of Taiwan, Chien-Ming Wang, will also cross the border, and having posted ERA's of 2.46 and 3.31 in the past season-and-a-half in the minors, he's proven beyond a doubt that he can pitch AAA. That's more than you can say for Noah Lowry, who was 6-12 in AAA a year ago but has gotten a few starts and pitched 33 (mostly crappy) innings in Toronto at random points this season. The same for "Proven Winner" Mike Bacsik, a 29 year old southpaw whose 2006 AAA record of 12-9 overshadowed a 4.07 ERA (and higher run average) and strikeout rate of less than six per nine. Somehow he's pitched the best 19 starts of his life this year, 7-4 record and 3.87 ERA.

But with all these new pitchers, the Bacsiks will actually have to pitch well to keep their jobs in Toronto, which is the way it ought to be. Sacre les bleus!

[cknox0723]

I don't normally do this, but here is a quick copy-and-paste of all of the trades from this year's Trade Deadline Extravaganza (TM). Why not? Who doesn't like extravaganzas? And just like the one going on at my work right now, I did most of the setting up - I love this game, but we all know the AI has some flaws. I didn't want to see my carefully calibrated universe thrown astray, so I went through all of the teams and made the trades that I thought made sense, also canceling the AI trades that I thought were screwy, e.g. one-for-one challenge trades where a contending team got a younger player. There were a few that I thought were OK.

Anyway, it was great fun and I suggest it to anyone who has an OOTP league. Unless of course they hate extravaganzas, in which case I say NO SALMON BURGERS FOR YOU, SIR!!!

Sunday 7/30/2007 :

Trade between New York (N) and Toronto:
Toronto gets :
P Jae Weong Seo
P Scott Kazmir
New York (N) gets :
LF Laynce Nix

Trade between San Diego and Baltimore :
Baltimore gets :
1B David Ortiz
San Diego gets :
LF Nick Markakis
P Antonio Molina

Trade between Chicago (N) and Seattle :
Seattle gets :
RF Nic Jackson
Chicago (N) gets :
P Lorenzo Perez

Monday 7/31/2007 :

Trade between Philadelphia and Montreal :
Montreal gets :
3B D'Angelo Jimenez
Philadelphia gets :
1B James Loney
P Gerald Shryock

Trade between Chicago (N) and Montreal :
Montreal gets :
SS Habelito Hernandez
Chicago (N) gets :
2B Keith Ginter

Trade between Baltimore and Cleveland :
Cleveland gets :
1B Jay Gibbons
Baltimore gets :
3B Mark Bellhorn
P Adam Miller

Trade between Boston and Toronto :
Toronto gets :
P Chien-Ming Wang
P Grant Roberts
Boston gets :
SS Dave Berg
P Aquilino Lopez
RF Gabe Gross

Trade between Chicago (N) and Anaheim :
Anaheim gets :
P Carmen Pignatiello
1B Michael Aubrey
P Elizardo Ramirez
Chicago (N) gets :
LF Jay Garthwaite
CF Tike Redman

Trade between Colorado and Philadelphia :
Philadelphia gets :
SS Jolbert Cabrera
Colorado gets :
P Jon Lieber

Chicago (A) : Yorvit Torrealba has been signed to a contract extension, $1,550,000 per year, for 1 years.

You like that last bit, dontcha???

Thanks for reading, have a happy Fourth of July even if it's just another day to you, and it seems you may be stuck with me as I plan to update this thread again tomorrow.

[cknox0723]

Jeff Suppan of Detroit beat us twice last year, but those losses were mos' definitely beatdowns, made even more painful by the fact that the veteran right-hander compiled a 3-12 record against all of the other teams out there, even the ones in AAA! Here are links one and two.

Suppan accidentally sliced off about an eighth of an inch from his right (throwing) index finger this offseason while waxing prosaic about the proper usage of the santoku knife. It's been hell on his .284 batting average and .324 OBP; those numbers are down to .250 and .245 this season because he can't fully grip the bat properly, and maybe also because he's not faced enough Pale Hose pitching. But the deformed digit has done wonders for the Oklahoma native's breaking ball; his command both in and out of the strike zone is greatly improved, and scores of double plays induced (18, to be precise) have been the chief reason behind "Soup" currently toting 10 wins and a career-best ERA just north of three.

Irony is, this guy may have been able to beat us while at his worst last year, but he can't do it at his best this year. That thing doesn't cause itself; this is just one ballgame and Suppan (4.2 IP, 7 H, 5 R) didn't really pitch that much worse than Esteban Loaiza (7.2 IP, 11 H, 2 R, 3 BB, 4 K). He just had lousier outcomes and a shorter leash.

But it is also true that Suppan's home side never had the lead, not after Magglio Ordonez doubled home Scott Podsednik with one out in the top of the first to give the visitors an early lead. "Buddha" added a bigger extra base hit with his tater to left that started the fourth, and his exclamation mark was a two-out fifth-inning single that brought home Ramon Vazquez, who'd doubled in Yorvit Torrealba two batters earlier. That one-base hit didn't pack the same punch as his first-inning jab or fourth-inning roundhouse, but it was the blow that sent Suppan down for the count. By the time someone on the Detroit tag team had slapped in, Esteban and relievers Calero and Castro needed to record only a few outs before the end of the round.

Round 2, tomorrow.

[ifspuds]

Originally Posted by cknox0723

Chicago (A) : Yorvit Torrealba has been signed to a contract extension, $1,550,000 per year, for 1 years.

You like that last bit, dontcha???

YORVIT!

Come on, you knew I'd chime in on that...

[rem]

It's nice to see this running again.

[cknox0723]

Originally Posted by remangiii

It's nice to see this running again.

I don't know if it's running, necessarily, but it's moving along, and I'm comfortable with life at these speeds.

[cknox0723]

FRI 8/4: L 9-2 @ DET - Ace LHP Buehrle (10-7) allows four straight to reach base in the bottom of the second, and three Tigers score in the inning. That's more than enough for mediocre LHP Redman (8-9), who is a step above mediocre today, cruising through the first five innings unscathed. By that time, Buehrle (4.1 IP, 6 H, 4 R, 67 pitches) is long gone, replaced by the pitching equivalent of dancing chimpanzees. Facing a four-nothing deficit that becomes five-one just a half-inning after we plate that first run, our chances for victory are also long gone - as long gone as LF Mike Hessman's pinch-hit seventh inning grand slam, in fact.

SAT 8/5: L 6-4 @ DET - Ryan Franklin, the 35 year old codger, does his typical work, logging six innings of five hit and two run ball, only fanning three but also walking just two. Journeyman Izzy Valdes does his usual thing, coming totally unglued with two outs in the fourth and allowing three runs, two on a single to center by Franklin, one on a wild pitch that allows Yorvit Torrealba to scurry home. He'd reached by being plunked in the shoulder. Funny thing is, the Pale Hose offense is mostly quiet the rest of the ballgame; baserunners reach and baserunners advance, but there's something stopping us from the six or seven run burst that has been so common this season. Right-handed reliever "Mercurial Kiko" Calero is instead the one who bursts, putting the first three men on in the seventh. Trade acquisition Wade Miller is brought on at that point, but pinch-hitter Mike Hessman raps one over the head of third baseman Munson to plate two, giving the .178 hitter six runs batted in over two plate appearances in two days. Right fielder Reed Johnson follows in kind with a knock into center; of course he does, he's hitting 100+ points higher than Hessman, the new Pale Hose killer. Miller is fine the rest of the way, but so is the opposing bullpen. Ramon Vazquez draws a walk to start Proven Closer (TM) Fernando Rodney's ninth inning, and Vernon Wells pokes a two-out single to bring the winning run to the plate. Pinch-hitter Raul Gonzalez, with a chance to keep our engine running, sees a nice 1-1 fastball and smacks the ball hard, but right at first baseman Pena. You may have forgotten the details (I know I have), but you remember that feeling, don't you? These are the ballgames bad teams were born to lose.

We might win a ballgame like this in the future, but former top prospect Chris Scarborough won't be a reason why. Every start he makes for Milwaukee makes me think a little bit more, and his fourth one, a six-inning gem, is no exception. A three-hitter with nine strikeouts, no walks, and one run allowed will do that to you. Funny thing is "Scarborough Fair" still only threw 54 of 92 pitches for strikes, continuing the battle he's fought ever since, well, forever.

And Milwaukee still lost the game, watching a 5-1 lead evaporate like the Wisconsin snow because they are a fifth-place team (technically sixth in this swollen universe) that has enough trouble finding guys to start the game, let alone finish it.

So if we were born to lose a bunch of games to Detroit, at least we can have some solace that Milwaukee will probably suck worse for all of eternity.

[Jestor]

Scarborough's quest for greatness will, like my hunt for a sold-out Zidane French national team jersey, come to fruition in the fullness of time.

In the meantime, I'll cheer for the fairest one of all in the Pale Hose world and cheer *the* Pale Hose in first place.

Oh yes and root for Les Bleus to win against Italy, too.

[cknox0723]

You threw out the past
When you threw out what was mine
Throughout the years
It was hard to make it last
Anaheim

No sign of reconciliation
It's a quarter past the end
Full moon from on high
Across the board we lose again
Anaheim

Anaheim
Tossed it out for me to find
Without a word you're out the door
Without a reason anymore

Two fingers on the trigger
Can break the heart of any day
Foolish to believe
It would turn out okay
Anaheim

Anaheim
Tossed it out for me to find
Without a word you're out the door
Without a reason anymore

Anaheim

Anaheim kicked our tails last year, you know. Won six out of nine against us. They're in second place again this year, but a repeat of the wild card isn't even a thought, because the Halos are struggling just to hang around .500. They still have plenty of fearsome hitters - RF "Mad Vlad" Guerrero, LF Garret Anderson, 2B Soriano, hulking 1B Cust and sweet-swinging .300 hitting 3B Justin Leone. But the pitching staff gives back runs faster than the offense can score them; behind ace right-hander John Lackey, who was 8-1 with a 1.03 ERA in 75+ June and July innings, there are a bunch of guys with little experience and lousy numbers, desperately trying (and failing!) to replace Ben Howard and Jarrod Washburn's disabled wings. Nine different men have started a ballgame for the purple pitchin' eaters this year, and 27 year old Rhett Parrott, who sports a nifty 5.08 career ERA, is second on the team in starts, and he is not particularly good and only averages about five innings per outing. Predictably, the bullpen has been heavily overworked and has gone from a strength of last year's club to a liability. Veteran closer Troy Percival has converted 23 saves but also has an ERA just over four and a component ERA a run and a half higher. His young setup man "K" Rodriguez has seen his ERA more than double from last year's 2.70 mark despite retaining the velocity on his howling fastball and the nasty cut on his electric slider; the right-hander just doesn't have consistent command in (or out) of the strike zone, so even his obscene K rate of 13.4 per nine innings may not necessarily mean that better outings are ahead. Still, Rodriguez is better off than 29 year old Steve Green, who dominated the minors for three years in this universe and pitched well enough in the second half of 2006 to secure a spot in middle relief -- a spot that he will probably never see again, with a current ERA of 5.95. Left-handed batters are hitting .365/.428/.533 off the poor sap. Despite his troubles, Green has already reached a new career-high in innings pitched this season, with sixty-two.

And there's the rub. It's early August in this universe, you've got a guy who had a 7.71 ERA in April and a 5.91 in May and you keep pitching him and pitching him.

Still, Green should probably even get a start one of these days, 'cause the alternatives ain't much. For our first game in sunny Anaheim, the opposing starter is 23 year old right-hander Geoff McInnis, a fresh-faced California native and Fresno State graduate who is barely a year removed from carving up Mountain West competition. With such a quick ascent and a first-round nametag pinned on him, you might think McInnis is exactly the type his organization needs more of -- but then you see him pitch. The kid is big and strapping at 6'4", 225 lbs...but he doesn't throw any harder than you or I. He doesn't walk anyone, preferring instead to give up more than the occasional single. I believe you would call that a very unpreferable preference.

And then you can look at his numbers. Sure, McBumblebee only needed two dozen minor league starts before his call-up to the bigs in June, and his AA numbers from his debut last season were pretty solid - 6-4 record, 2.99 ERA, and only 17 walks in 81 innings. But this is a 22 year old kid from California, where the sun always shines and you can go surfing (and eat road tacos) in November. He's outclassing a lot of the other 22 year old kids in AA because age is just a state of mind, especially in baseball. Bumped up to AAA this season, McInnis was 3-3 with a 4.98 ERA in 11 starts, allowing 86 hits in 72 innings. His big league ERA is 3.98 after two months' of starts, but the 2-3 record is more indicative of the kind of pitcher this kid is.

Of course, Geoff McInnis doesn't have that 2-3 record until after we bludgeoned him around for five runs in six innings, including home runs by Frank Catalanotto (8) and Yorvit Torrealba (7). And had we fouled things up just a little more in the eighth inning, the 23 year old's record wouldn't have changed at all. Platoon-extraordinaire Dallas McPherson (batting .290/.326/.618 in 131 AB this season) swatted a two-out, two-run eighth inning double off of little lefty reliever Fabio Castro to plate Anaheim's third and fourth runs of the inning, cutting what had been a 7-2 lead all the way down to a single run. But trade deadline acquisition Wade Miller came in and blew away scrappy SS Eckstein on three consecutive sliders to end the inning there, and Joe Roa closed out the ninth for his tenth save.

Division foes Cleveland scored one in the ninth to tie and one in the tenth to beat last-place Oakland three to two. It was the seventh straight Tribe triumph and the sixth consecutive game where they allowed three runs or less. That's no real surprise; with 23 year old right-hander Fausto Carmona (3-4, 3.72 ERA in 67 IP) having replaced struggling southpaw Cliff Lee (6-7, 4.94) in the five-man rotation, opponents won't face a single Cleveland starting pitcher with an ERA above the league average of 3.96.

[cknox0723]

You would think that someone in Anaheim would have realized at some point that maybe it is not such a good idea to have more than half a rotation composed of 5.00+ ERA pitchers, but I didn't, so maybe they should get a pass. We can get a pass, too, because the opposing starting pitcher in this ballgame is Rhett Parrott, the 27 year old luddite. Should make for a free pass for our man Michael Nannini in his quest for win number six.

A three-run first inning keyed by a two-run Vernon Wells single gives Nannini a comfortable enough cushion that he can spend most of innings four through six battling his control, and in a step out of character, the control artist does just that. It's all good; the man can bunt, having sacrificed Yorvit Torrealba to second in the second to give Ramon Vazquez an RBI opportunity which the .340 hitter unsurprisingly capitalized on. With Nannini pitching into the sixth and not giving too much of that lead back, all we need is the bullpen to bear down for a few frames while waiting for the inevitable Anaheim catastrophe. Aki Otsuka does just that, stranding Nannini's runners by retiring Alfonso Soriano on a long fly out to right to end the sixth. The awful Steve Green pushes his ERA a little closer to six with a typically ugly top of the seventh, seeing men from Munson to Catalanotto to Torrealba reach on singles and errors and walks, and then making it too easy for Ramon Vazquez, throwing one up and out that "Pokey" smacks into left for a two-run hit. Kiko Calero only gives back half of those goods in the bottom half, and "K-Rod" gives up a quick single to Vernon Wells to start the eighth and then a quicker long ball to Eric Munson when he leaves a slider up in the zone and watches it get lasered down the right field line, just inside the pole. 9-3. Fabio Castro comes on for the garbage-time eighth and makes things a little too interesting by giving up back-to-back two-out home runs to Soriano (his eleventh) and sweet-swingin' .300-hittin' 3B Justin Leone, number twelve for him. But left-handed hitting Jack Cust grounds to short to end the inning and prevent some awful puns involving three backs, and all that's left is for Joe Roa to convert the easiest of saves by pitching the ninth. "Thor" Guerrero starts off the inning with a base knock, but veteran LF Garret Anderson raps into a quick 3-6-3 double play, and the air is out of the Anaheim float, though I'm still it would still hurt if it ran you over. Catcher Brian Schneider, an All-Star last year, came out of the gates slow this season and was still muddling around until July, when he smacked the ball at a .299/.348/.558 rate and drove in 21 runs.

He can't drive in three here, not by himself. Roa throws a heavy sinker or two, Schneider swings at one and fouls it off and swings at another and taps it right down the first base line. Frank Catalanotto pounces on it, bounds over to first, and that's the place we're still in, eight Cleveland wins in a row or no.



CHW 9 ANA 6

WP: M. Nannini (6-3) - 5.2 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 5 BB, 4 K, 116 pitches (but dance anyway, banana! )
LP: R. Parrott (5-9) - 4.1 IP, 8 H, 5 R
S: J. Roa (11)

Game Ball Goes to... Aki Otsuka, who I suppose could have fouled things up by throwing one very poor pitch in the sixth inning, rather than a slider that was inside just enough that "Fonsie" couldn't take it for a real ride. Lots of Pale Hose guys saw the ball well in scoring nine runs on sixteen hits - Vazquez was 3-5 with 3 RBI, Wells was 3-5 with a double, Munson was 3-6 with his nineteenth tater, Yorvit was 2-3 and walked twice - but Rhett Parrott and his ilk are a little "easy", if you know what I mean. Polly want a cracker?

[zukes]

Two updates within 12 hours? Someone has found a little time on his hands. Good, it's always a pleasant diversion from work to get to read some Pale Hose, especially in the summer, when I look out my window and wish that I were anywhere but at my desk. Keep it up.

[cknox0723]

Originally Posted by zukes

Two updates within 12 hours? Someone has found a little time on his hands. Good, it's always a pleasant diversion from work to get to read some Pale Hose, especially in the summer, when I look out my window and wish that I were anywhere but at my desk. Keep it up.

Hey, thanks. Of course, I am ironically enough a week late in thanking you.

But I was able to update a bit more often last week because my car was burned out and had to go into the mechanic for a bit. I think it was a coincidence, but a few days later I felt as though I needed a tuneup myself. You know how that is.

But triumphantly enough (and significantly poorer), here are the Pale Hose once again.

[cknox0723]

Jarrod Washburn, the 33 year old southpaw and career-long Angel in this universe, can certainly hit, at least when facing our shower of clowns. But carrying a 6-9 record this season with a chunky 5.00-plus ERA and terrifying home run rates, it's open question whether he's got anything left in the once-golden left arm.

A first inning long ball off Magglio Ordonez's big bat is a nice start, but Esteban Loaiza, "The Art of Suck", scourge of the earth and all those nice things, gives it right back. Garret Anderson singles home sweet-swingin' Justin Leone, who had doubled off the center field fence two batters earlier, and we're tied after one only because Dallas McPherson grounds out to second for out number three.

Second inning takes a nice turn after a Wil Cordero strikeout because Frank Thomas, getting a rare A.B., cracks an ordinary fastball into left for an all-too-rare hit, raising his average to .170 or so. Yorvit Torrealba smacks another nice, hittable pitch down the left field line and into the corner and now something else is being raised -- Thomas's heart rate, as he's chugging around second and heading for third, running through Dan Pasqua's stop sign and huffing and puffing, straining and pushing and finally...collapsing, halfway between third and home. Wil Nieves tags him out. Two down.

Two down in more ways than one, as Torrealba is writhing on the ground around second base. "P***ed something?" I'm wondering, since I was too busy marvelling at big Frank to know what the hell happened, but no one answers me. Miguel Olivo, Yorvit's backup, jogs out to second base to run in his place and in place, since Jack Wilson strikes out to end the inning.

Esteban's fine for an inning or so, but you remember the guy last year who would come unglued just enough to lose ALL THE ****ING TIME?

I have a bad feeling that after winning ten games in four months, "The Art of Suck" is rearing his ugly head again. Esteban serves up a solo home run ball to Garret Anderson with one out in the fourth inning, and backup backstop Nieves brings home another run on a groundout after a single and walk had put men on the corners. By the time our "dynamic" "revamped" "exciting" offense gets a man on second base, it's the sixth inning. Predictably enough, that manly man is one of the new guys, Podsednik, who singled to lead off the inning and then moved up on a scintilling hit 'n run groundout. Of course, superstar and former MVP Magglio Ordonez strikes out on three pitches, and proven cleanup man and RBI machine Vernon Wells pops out to left-center.

Esteban's fragile psyche can't handle that crushing blow, and he all but throws away the ballgame the next half-frame by giving up a few more runs. Again G. Anderson (.280/.357/.475 in 400 AB) catalyzes the run-scoring with an extra-base hit; this time, it was a double to right-center. The powerful Mr. McPherson, giving "Mad Vlad" a day off today, knocks a measly run-scoring single to right; after a fielder's choice and steal of second, Wil Nieves comes through with a base hit to left for his second run batted in. Julio Lugo (remember him?) ends the inning with his specialty, the ground out to second base, and he'll cap off a fine oh-for-four day by striking out against Wade Miller in the eighth. Too bad the right-hander had to face six other batters in the inning to get the other two outs.

Vernon Wells hits a meaningless home run to lead off the ninth inning, cutting the deficit to six runs for good and sending Washburn's home run rates northward just a little bit more. Big deal. The portsider's still got something left in that arm...at least when he's facing the Pale Hose.

CHW 2 ANA 8

WP: J. Washburn (7-9) - 8.1 IP, 9 H, 2 R, 1 BB, 6 K
LP: E. Loaiza (11-6) - 6 IP, 7 H, 5 R

Game Ball Goes To... Nieves (two for four with three RBI), a 29 year old rookie carrying a .306 batting average in 144 AB this season despite a mostly undistinguished minor league batting record. His mate Brian Schneider had two hits in each of the first two games, so it was as good of a series for Anaheim catchers as it was a calamitous third game for Yorvit Torrealba (who got hurt) and "Miguel the Incompetent", his wonderful (and terrible) backup (who actually went two-for-three, but I didn't notice; I did notice his ridiculous eighth-inning throwing error trying to peg out basestealer Reggie Willits at second, though). The good news is that Yorvit is listed as day-to-day with some sort of horribly pulled muscle; the bad news is that maybe 90% of a journeyman like Yorvit Torrealba isn't quite enough, and should go on the disabled list.

[Y0DA55]

At some point in the future (like not now), you need to do a "Woulda Coulda Shoulda" with your trades that you made. It's a little early right now, but hopefully you could do so during the thick of the pennant race that you will be in shortly.

And, btw, how far are the Indians behind you at this point? And if you do slide too far, is there hope for the Wild Card?

[CTSoxFan]

*Bump*

Where are you Craig?

[ifspuds]

No kidding. The guy wins dynasty of the year two years straight, and can't even be bothered to show up to pick up his virtual trophy.

[CTSoxFan]

For anyone bored, read Return to Glory 2006...

http://ootpdevelopments.com/board/sh...d.php?t=128452

[cknox0723]

Most dynasties in this forum end without ending, don't they? A day trickles by without a post, then it becomes two and four and even though time is passing at the same rate, the distance between author and dynasty and forum increases exponentially. Before you know it, there's a new edition of "The Top 75 Dynasties" (Y0DA willing) and the aforementioned dynasty that just ends is number fifty-six or thirty-nine or a footnote to a better, more complete body of work by the same poster.

The reasons behind a dynasty ending are of course more interesting than a simple discussion of the dynasty's end, because we would like to think we could make some greater, general point from figuring out why and create a list of tips for enterprising dynasty writers. But observation tells me that some dynasties end because its author comes up with a bigger and brighter idea, and others because the author finds greater interest in something else. You will have those that claim computer crash and others that said, "Busy now, just bumping to remind myself to update," but those are just excuses, you know? Call me a nerd or a sap or whatever, but I see a dynasty as just like a relationship -- you will meet a gal (or guy), and classify them very quickly based on first impressions. Then maybe you want to move beyond just being acquainted with them, or maybe you will see some hawt chiXXor and forget all about them. I won't even mention how the dancing banana plays into all this.

Anyway, I'm rambling, trying to wax philosophical about an internet baseball dynasty forum for any number of ill-conceived reasons. What I'm trying to say is this - dynasties end, same as the American television show from the eighties.

The recent lack of posts in this dynasty was simply because I had been brainstorming what I affectionately like to think of as "the greatest post ever." No lie. It involved the White Elephants of Oakland being led by right-hander Joe Blanton in numerous bloody battle scenes, with cameos by Akinori Otsuka as a kamikaze pilot and Joe Borchard as himself.

But, as you can imagine, the post fell flat at some point. I fail you fail he/she fails we fail you fail they fail. We are all failures. For whatever reason, probably because I am cknox0723, I couldn't reconcile that, even though I know it to be an eternal truth. It refused to sit well with me, punching in the normal rambling 500-word post describing our 7-6 loss...so one day without posts became two, two became four, and on and on. That is why I can't write a story dynasty, by the way - I can't separate myself from myself, let alone from something I do.

So that brings us to now...and, yet, most everyday the past three weeks I have pondered Scarborough for Podsednik or some variation thereof. And that brings us (or, at the very least, me) back to here. But how to get back on point?

The grand solution occured to me a day or two ago, something that would have been unfathomable to me circa 2005. But things change, people change, time passes by whether we want it to or not. And dynasties end.

The solution for me was to take a rags-to-riches team that had scraped for everything they had earned that season, a 67-51 ballclub, and...

...hit the simulate to end of season button.

I realized the cold, cold water that I was cannonballing into -- I have written how many posts about how many games, again? -- but the cknox0723 that writes the Pale Hose has the same imperfections as the cknox0723 that works 45 hours a week and busts his tail for almost no return and is painfully shy and likes taking classes but doesn't know what to do with them.

G-d grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.

One of the things I could change was not posting about my fake internet baseball team because I didn't know what to say, same as I can crawl out from my own fake turtle shell by talking to hawt chiXXors and stuff. It sucks that it takes so much effort -- I am literally pounding my fingers on the keys as though it will help me articulate my message better...

And again I digress. Cut me a break, OK, I didn't pull 800-post threads out of my ***, you know!

My ultimate point is this:

League Standings Report
Thursday, 9/28/2007 
American League Standings 
 
East 
 
Team 	W L PCT GB  Pyt.Rec Diff   Home Away XInn 1Run M# Streak Last10 
Empire 	88 68 .564 - 89-67 -1   48-31 40-37 9-6 27-24 1 W1 5-5 
Boston 	82 74 .526 6.0 86-70 -4   38-40 44-34 5-11 26-25 - W2 7-3 
Orioles 79 78 .503 9.5 81-76 -2   41-40 38-38 5-9 26-26 - L1 6-4 
Toronto 69 87 .442 19.0 72-84 -3   39-36 30-51 8-13 24-30 - W1 4-6 
Bad Fish67 89 .429 21.0 65-91 2   41-36 26-53 8-9 30-25 - L3 4-6 
 
Central 
 
Team 	W L PCT GB  Pyt.Rec Diff   Home Away XInn 1Run M# Streak Last10 
CLE 	91 65 .583 - 88-68 3   55-20 36-45 16-6 30-21 * W1 6-4 
HOSE 	83 73 .532 8.0 80-76 3   45-36 38-37 10-7 25-25 - L1 5-5 
MIN	79 78 .503 12.5 82-75 -3   43-36 36-42 9-9 26-29 - W6 7-3 
Detroit 70 86 .449 21.0 69-87 1   30-45 40-41 5-7 16-33 - W2 5-5 
K-City 	70 86 .449 21.0 71-85 -1   39-42 31-44 8-12 31-31 - L1 3-7 
 
West 
 
Team 	W L PCT GB  Pyt.Rec Diff   Home Away XInn 1Run M# Streak Last10 
Seattle 90 66 .577 - 83-73 7   42-36 48-30 12-11 36-21 * W2 7-3 
Anaheim 78 78 .500 12.0 76-80 2   36-45 42-33 10-5 22-26 - L3 4-6 
Texas 	76 80 .487 14.0 79-77 -3   40-35 36-45 8-5 21-30 - L2 2-8 
Oakland 71 85 .455 19.0 73-83 -2   37-41 34-44 6-9 29-23 - L1 6-4

We faded, and Cleveland caught fire, just as you easily could have guessed. There was no one particularly close in the wild card in August, but Boston recently pulled off a CLUTCH three-game sweep of our boys in socks and then split a four-game set with Toronto to mostly holdfast while we took two of three from the awful Royals. The Other Sox also picked up quite a bit of ground when we went on a six-game skid in early September which happened to encompass a four-game sweep by the $#%&*)# Rangers, who won all four games by one run and three in extra innings.

We have played all of our home games, finishing 45-36 in the House that Julio Deconstructed. Boston has three more, against Baltimore to end the year. We will be playing Cleveland at the same time, which intimidates me almost as much as (you can guess how I'd finish that sentence). Fortunately Boston has three with them beforehand; we'll play terrible Detroit at the same time. We play one game better than Boston over the next six and we're in.

So here's your pennant race, and here once again are the Pale Hose we all know and love.