Yet Another OOTP6 Dynasty, Year 2: One Flew Over the Pale Hose

[ifspuds]

I'm not sure what to say. The triple play, cool! I had a 7-4-3 triple play in a playoff game in the Northwest League. First time I'd seen one.

But not cool, cause it's the beloved Pale Hose! It's strangely fitting though, I suppose.

Hey, that rhymes!

[cknox0723]

Originally Posted by ifspuds

I'm not sure what to say. The triple play, cool! I had a 7-4-3 triple play in a playoff game in the Northwest League. First time I'd seen one.

But not cool, cause it's the beloved Pale Hose! It's strangely fitting though, I suppose.

Hey, that rhymes!

you can take the t.p. as a sign that we really suck, or take it as i did. i'm not sure either way is preferable.

loved the last part of your post, spuds. speaking of strangely fitting...that's about the best "page flip" post a pale hose thread has seen.

[cknox0723]

Originally Posted by cknox

it was an inauspicious start to the season for 37 year old arthur rhodes, who walked the prior two batters to allow aurilia a chance to blast his club off to victory. however, rhodes has saved 84 games over the past three seasons, posting an earned-run average of just over two in about 200 innings. so i posit to say that reports of his demise would be greatly exaggerated, 84.00 earned run average be damned.

rhodes has now blown two saves in three days for 1-2 oakland, with his latest effort the type that only arsonists could appreciate. 3-2 at safeco, bottom of the ninth. opening day hero rich aurilia leads off with a single, robby hammock doubles two batters later. a wild pitch puts one run on the board and also allows pinch-runner juan "the out-sucking machine" uribe to move up to third. jose lopez follows with a 275-foot fly ball to right, uribe jogs home, and all of the navigators do the funky chicken at home plate.

Originally Posted by cknox

and cleveland is still a fine team, if not one particularly likely to become a dynasty. two games shouldn't change that.

but what about three games? wilson alvarez -- chris berman might call him "87 year old wilson alvarez" -- outdueled proven playoff pitcher c.c. sabathia, helped by three runs batted in by michael jack "aching back" sweeney. spuds, i think you will appreciate the rhyme at the end of that last sentence as much as anyone.

brian schmack's still on pace for 162 saves and cleveland is still tied with...the pale hose. still plenty of ball ahead of us, folks.

[cknox0723]

game iv - chw (0-3) @ bos (3-0) - "dreamer in my dreams"

last year: W 7-6 @ ANA - we beat an american league west team (one of just eleven times we did that in aught-six in thirty-four tries). joe roa blows a save, and jeremy reed plays the hero once again. it's seventy and sunny every day in antarctica in this world.

this time around: j. depaula (0-0, 0.00) vs. a. martinez (0-0, 0.00)

I gave Anastacio Martinez the moniker of "The Other Martinez" sometime last year, and it looks as though that name will be an apt one after he starts the final game of this four-game series by walking Ramon Vazquez. Adam Kennedy strokes a single to left-center, and just like yesterday, we're in business. But then Anastacio really makes good on his nickname -- by resembling the other Martinez, the guy who shut us out on Opening Day. Ordonez flies out, Thomas pops up, and Raul Gonzalez grounds to second. No triple play, still nothing to it. No runs.

DePaula looks okay in the first, getting a ground ball off the bat of Johnny Damon, which is nice. Willie Bloomquist follows suit, which isn't exactly the world's greatest accomplishment, but -- hey, two outs. Then DSM-IV Jorge grooves a fastball. Manny smacks it off the Monster. Uh, no problem...no problem. No prob--

"The three-one to Garciaparra...fastball, up in the zone and he turns on it and fires his hips through! Crushed to left-center! Way back! Way back! And that ball is OUTTA HERE!!!"

Two-nuttin', just like so. Yeah, no problem. No problem at all.

Anastacio channels Pedro over the next few frames, but Good Jorge shows up, albeit with his typical tendency to leave one slider in five out over the plate. But shots off the bats of Vance Wilson, Nomar, and Willie Bloomquist all stay within the confines built at Yawkey Way, and Boston only picks up one additional run over the next four frames, putting the score at three to goose egg after five.

In the top of the sixth, Mr. Kennedy gets things going once again, this time with a one-out double into the right field corner. "Buddha" Ordonez loops a single to left-center to give us runners at the corners...but Frank Thomas picks another really inopportune time to decide that he'd rather poop in his pants than hit career home run number five hundred eleven. Raul Gonzalez walks, loading the bags with two outs for Jeremy Reed.

Now scroll all the way up for a second. Click on the link to last year's game.

OK, you back? Notice any similarities? Jeremy "The Zebra" Reed earned his stripes and his "Clutch God" nickname with a game-winning tater against Kansas City last year. Plus, we're going to score some runs eventually, damn it!!! Those two facts are enough to create in my mind visions of baseballs struck at angles and speeds that allow Pale Hose runners to tear around the bases at frightening speed and touch the holy pentagon once, twice, thrice, and tie the game. Reed takes a ball high and the images of what could -- no, what will be -- just whirl around faster. I can see it...I can see it...here it comes, fastball high and in, just where Reed likes it, swing and --

"Popped up behind the second base bag. Bloomquist and Garciaparra converging...Willie waves both arms high, calls for it and...hauls it in for the third and final out of the inning. Martinez gets out of a jam as the Pale Hose strand three..."

Hmm. That's not quite what the dreamer in my dreams was going for, I don't think. Still three innings to go, though, right? We'll get 'em next inning.

[Y0DA55]

Did anyone else get this when clicking on said link to the other game.

Don't worry Craig, one of these days, your boys are going to pull some games out.

[seth70liz76]

Originally Posted by Y0DA55

Did anyone else get this when clicking on said link to the other game.

Don't worry Craig, one of these days, your boys are going to pull some games out.

No I got this, which was about as usefull as your link Y0DA.

Keep the chin up Craig, even Wid Matthews 5-year plan took 7 season to truely bottom out. You've got plenty of time to turn this around, it's still early.

[cknox0723]

hey, i just wanted to see if people were actually clicking the link. really.

and we haven't lost this game yet, you bloody pessimists!!!

[seth70liz76]

Originally Posted by cknox0723

hey, i just wanted to see if people were actually clicking the link. really.

and we haven't lost this game yet, you bloody pessimists!!!

Fair enough, but I prefer realist.

[MattStewNYY]

Ooh.

Dem's fightin words.

[seth70liz76]

Originally Posted by MattStewNYY

Ooh.

Dem's fightin words.

Craig knows I'm kidding. Don't you, Craig? For the love of God please say you do! [/hysterics]

[cknox0723]

Originally Posted by seth70liz76

Craig knows I'm kidding. Don't you, Craig? For the love of God please say you do! [/hysterics]

damn you, seth! whatever happened to the hall of fame power of positive thinking??? damn you!

soooo...anyway -- i was reminded of this quote while doing some writing earlier.

Originally Posted by copper888

The suspense is killin me man! I can't handle the half inning updates once every two days...I need more Pale Hose!

my apologies in advance to this thread's biggest grady sizemore fan. i just go where my neurons take me. and in this case...well, you'll see.

[cknox0723]

To have a chance at winning this one, we'll have to keep our three-nothing hymen (SFW) intact. Fortunately, a Vance Wilson walk leads nowhere as Good Jorge induces Bill Mueller to tap a bouncer up the middle. Ramon Vazquez has no trouble gobbling it up like macaroni to start a 6-3 inning-ending double-play, and since DePaula would be due up to bat third in the seventh, he hits the showers having given us a quality start, if not necessarily one of the highest quality. I'll take Mediocre Jorge over the Schizophrenic version any day of the week.

Enrique Wilson, the man who bats in his place in the top of the next frame, digs in not with two outs and no one on, as you might expect, but with a man at first and a man down. Enrique strokes a single to left off the quickly fatiguing "Other Martinez", and we're in business for the flying wallendas at the top of the order. Ramon Vazquez doesn't disappoint, either, cracking a single to right-center to finally get us on the board -- except it doesn't, as Yorvit Torrealba holds at third. Should've pinch-ran with Miggy Olivo, but, hell, I didn't expect us to do something so improbable as rally. Fortunately, it doesn't come back to bite us, as Adam Kennedy takes the next five pitches, four of which aren't especially close to the strike zone. It may not force runners to "tear around the bases at frightening speed", but it still brings home a run. Better yet, the bases are still loaded -- for Buddha. Our number three hitter, the MVP three years ago, the superstar. Who better to have up in this spot? If he can't do it, nobody can!

You know as well as I do that even thinking that last line is asking for trouble. Sure enough, Maggs hits a shot -- right back at Martinez. You know the type, happens once every other game, give or take. A rocket right back through the box that'd take the pitcher's head off if it connected with a skin flap rather than a leather one. It's not a skill to catch that ball; more like a reaction, same as if you're driving and a deer runs out in front of you. Self-preservation. Catches like the one Martinez made -- they never turn into double or triple plays, though. No one can think that quickly when they're still feeling around to make sure all their parts are attached. It's like when you swerve off the road to avoid that deer. If you're lucky, you miss it, but then you're heading straight for a telephone pole or something. You could avoid it under normal circumstances, but your mind's still stuck on the deer. Has to be how some of those one-car wrecks happen, right?

Same with Martinez. After snaring Buddha's liner, he had three runners on the bags who were left flapping in the wind because they expected the ball to be bouncing through the outfield. Throw to any base, that's out number three. But Anastacio didn't do that, instead sort of looking down at the ball in his glove for a moment, then looking down at his feet before the light bulb went off in his mind. "Hey," sayeth the angel in Anastacio's mind, "I could double someone off and then I'll be thirty seconds closer to a post-game 'back rub'!!!" By then, it's too late. Aye...there's the rub.

But no one-car wreck here, as Frank Thomas pops up on the fourth pitch he sees. Again it's Willie Bloomquist waving his arms and snaring the can of corn, and again we've left the bases loaded.

If this is going in the direction I think it is, pretty soon someone from Boston's going to twist the knife a little deeper. Sure enough, Jeromy Burnitz is announced as the pinch-hitter to start the bottom of the seventh. A "proven RBI man", a "Blake Street Bomber"...just the man to take a mediocre Akinori Otsuka fastball and with one violent swipe of the air -- CRACK! -- launch a blast to left that no one's going to run down without scaling the Green Monster, and even then, Jeremy Reed's arms aren't fifteen feet long. Sayonara, pelota.

My Japanese Love Machine's not done, though. He allows a single. Now, even when the batsman Murphy is bunted into scoring position by Willie Bloomquist, I'm more apathetic than anything. Home runs, I'll bitch about -- I mean, if you're going to fling crap up there, at least keep it down in the zone. But singles happen to even the best pitchers bringing their best stuff -- seen any "broken-bat" or "seeing-eye" home runs lately? It's why that DIPS thing makes sense, at least to me.

But after that single and sacrifice, Otsuka stops throwing strikes, walking Ramirez and then Garciaparra. Want to, pardon the pun, push my buttons? Keep trying to throw that perfect pitch, and walk a bunch of guys. That's why Rick "Wild Thing" Ankiel is calling Charlotte his home right now. Despite his occasional flashes of brilliance where he'd make my heart sing, those times where he'd throw twenty-seven balls and nine strikes in two-thirds of an inning were awfully hard to forget.

You know what else is hard to forget? The bases are loaded right now -- mostly because of walks. Good Jorge showed up for a full start today -- except for two damned batters. Boston hasn't really outplayed us, have they? But because of some jackass reliever, we're about to fall behind a half-dozen runs once again. Lose our fourth straight.

You start to doubt yourself when things get bad. "If only I'd done this, if only I'd done that..." I wish I had my own personal Joe Roa. Just as I start thinking "Why didn't I sign Berkman last year or Rivas this year? This team sucks!", Roa struts in like the Pied Piper and lulls the citizens of Boston to sleep with his power splitter. Kevin Millar's shocked and amazed enough to take two quick strikes. He manages to pull himself together enough to foul off a pitch or three, then lets another couple go to work the count even, but then ends up gaping at another nasty, diving split-fingered fastball, right on the outside black. Two down. And Roger Cedeno's all too eager to fall prey to Roa's charms, hacking at the first pitch and tapping it right back to "The Pied Piper", who tosses it to first, ending the frame and giving Boston a taste of their own medicine as they leave the bags full.

Nice to see Roa hasn't lost the magic. Stranded 45 of the 53 runners he inherited last season and he's a perfect three for three this year. Still, with a three-run lead with only two innings to go, Boston can leave fifty runners on base and it won't much matter. No problem, right?

Right. No problem at all.

[Tavarin]

I'm not liking all these cliffhangers....

Come on Pale Hose!

[BadluckinOOTP]

Originally Posted by Tavarin

I'm not liking all these cliffhangers....

Join the club!

[cknox0723]

Originally Posted by Tavarin

I'm not liking all these cliffhangers...

ok. no cliffhangers in this next post, i promise!

[cknox0723]

I was sitting in the local coffee shop on Saturday, reading Donald Miller's "Blue Like Jazz" and eating a piece of apple pie. An older gentleman came in, asked for a few things, and then for a quart of pistachio ice cream. "Sorry," the reasonably attractive 20-something girl behind the counter said, "We only have sugar-free."

It would have made for a neat, surreal little anecdote if the gentleman had turned around in a huff upon hearing that, went and slammed the door shut or something. He didn't; he just went without a quart of pistachio for his wife or grandkids or whoever. Solely because it didn't have sugar. To me, a guy who doesn't salt his food, only rarely uses pepper, and doesn't put sugar in his iced tea, I can't understand that. You want pistachio ice cream, who cares whether it has sugar or not? Pretty much tastes the same, and you'll forget it by tomorrow, anyway!

"OK," you're thinking, "Cute story."

"But what the **** does it have to do with the Pale Hose???"

Just like Ruth Graham, insomnia, and Qantas Airlines, absolutely nothing.

[BadluckinOOTP]

[seth70liz76]

Originally Posted by cknox0723

I was sitting in the local coffee shop on Saturday, reading Donald Miller's "Blue Like Jazz" and eating a piece of apple pie. An older gentleman came in, asked for a few things, and then for a quart of pistachio ice cream. "Sorry," the reasonably attractive 20-something girl behind the counter said, "We only have sugar-free."

It would have made for a neat, surreal little anecdote if the gentleman had turned around in a huff upon hearing that, went and slammed the door shut or something. He didn't; he just went without a quart of pistachio for his wife or grandkids or whoever. Solely because it didn't have sugar. To me, a guy who doesn't salt his food, only rarely uses pepper, and doesn't put sugar in his iced tea, I can't understand that. You want pistachio ice cream, who cares whether it has sugar or not? Pretty much tastes the same, and you'll forget it by tomorrow, anyway!

"OK," you're thinking, "Cute story."

"But what the **** does it have to do with the Pale Hose???"

Just like Ruth Graham, insomnia, and Qantas Airlines, absolutely nothing.

And since Ruth Graham has, in her own way, become a reoccuring character in the realm of the Pale Hose, having nothing to do with the team doesn't mean it isn't important. Without stories like this, what would Craig link to?

[MattStewNYY]

Garbanzo Beans

I think it works, Craig.

[Tavarin]

Originally Posted by cknox0723

I was sitting in the local coffee shop on Saturday, reading Donald Miller's "Blue Like Jazz" and eating a piece of apple pie. An older gentleman came in, asked for a few things, and then for a quart of pistachio ice cream. "Sorry," the reasonably attractive 20-something girl behind the counter said, "We only have sugar-free."

It would have made for a neat, surreal little anecdote if the gentleman had turned around in a huff upon hearing that, went and slammed the door shut or something. He didn't; he just went without a quart of pistachio for his wife or grandkids or whoever. Solely because it didn't have sugar. To me, a guy who doesn't salt his food, only rarely uses pepper, and doesn't put sugar in his iced tea, I can't understand that. You want pistachio ice cream, who cares whether it has sugar or not? Pretty much tastes the same, and you'll forget it by tomorrow, anyway!

"OK," you're thinking, "Cute story."

"But what the **** does it have to do with the Pale Hose???"

Just like Ruth Graham, insomnia, and Qantas Airlines, absolutely nothing.

Glad to see everything got wrapped up in one tidy post