Yet Another OOTP6 Dynasty, Year 2: One Flew Over the Pale Hose

[Vris]

11:20 PM EDT

BANANA DOES NOT DANCE, SCREWS WITH PEOPLE'S MINDS
OOTP Boards, OOTP.com - In a startling revelation, the "dancing" banana emoticon, used to display joyous emotions, has decided that he wants to dance "when he feels like it", instead of when he is supposed to. Which is constantly. When he is not dancing, it sucks the happiness right out of the board. Says a board member, wanting to stay anonymous:

"The banana does not dance and it makes me sad. F*uck you banana, and f*uck the rest of you."

We will have more on this story as it develops. The banana will not get away with this.


Associated Press

[The Funk]

It's dancing again!!!

[Vris]

Originally Posted by The Funk

It's dancing again!!!

LIAR!

[gordyhulten]

Currently shaking his moneymaker.

[The Funk]

Originally Posted by Vris

LIAR!

Well...it's stopped now. (+1)

[The Funk]

And now he's dancing again (+1).

[by the way, stop me when this starts to get annoying.]

[cknox0723]

Originally Posted by messenjah

Is there any way to format a thread so that only cknox's threads are seen. That way it will make it easier to skim through what has gone on without seeing everyone else's comments. (No offense everyone else).

By the way, this is the most long lasting and fun thread I've seen so far on this dynasty forum.

heh. now that was prescience. amidst all of the banana talk, i did notice this gem, though:

Originally Posted by cknox

This could be us. Couldn't it?

Originally Posted by The Funk

No.

you'll see, funk. you'll see! as for a question that was posed to me elsewhere:

Will you do a couple games on real-life off days to get it where you play a game every real Sox game in our world?

when that funky german came up with this idea a month or so ago, i liked it a lot, and i still do, but i also treasure being able to go at a sloooow pace and not push myself to get caught up to some hypothetical schedule. so, sadly, as much as i'd like to match up these sox with the tadahito iguchi and freddy garcia-led bunch, i won't. sorry! but it will mean more of my blather, if that's any consolation!

okay, all that's finally out of the way, so back to the banana pale hose talk!

[cknox0723]

As of the middle of May of last year, the entire division was under .500 and within four games of each other. But these were the final standings:

THE AL CENTRAL IN THE YEAR 2006
Cleveland Indians.......98-64 (.605, 7th AL Central flag)
Kansas City Royals......82-80 (.506, 16 GB, 21-game improvement on '05)
Minnesota Twins.........78-84 (.481, 20 GB, worst record since 2000)
Detroit Tigers..........70-92 (.432, 28 GB, lowest profit of all 5 teams)
Chicago White Sox.......69-93 (.426, 29 GB, 7-game improvement)

So how the hell did that happen?

Well, we're the easiest case, so let's start with the Pale Hose. We were never any good to begin with, of course, seven games under .500 as soon as May. Our Pythagorean record was lousy pretty much from the get-go, a telling sign. A pair of long early-summer losing streaks dropped us 20 games below .500 by the middle of June. That also means that we more or less played .500 ball over the last three months, but in the end, that only has meaning if you want it to. And I don't particularly care.

The Tigers were the souped-up version of...well, us, hovering slightly above us in standing for much of the year. Small winning streaks pushed them around ten games under mediocrity as late as the trade deadline, but a relative youth movement in the second-half led to irrelevant struggles over the final two months. Still, they finished higher than us, but no one will remember that in ten years, anyway. Unless I get a CatoBase up for this league, that is.

The Twins were an odd case. My pick to finish second to the Pale Hose, they struggled along near .500 for the first few months, harkening reminders of another red team known to disappoint, the Phillies. Shut up, libs. This continued through the All-Star break, but then a 7-3 stretch from July 18th to 27th put them seven above .500 and in position to challenge the Tribe. This gave them the confidence to do nothing at the All-Star break, which turned out to be the beginning of the end. Despite being 10 games above .500 at the end of the first of week of August, the Twins were back down to .500 two weeks later, the floodgates having been opened by a sweep by some team from Chicago. Predictably, the club barely had the heart to play out the string, and that's how they ended up with the tragic moniker of "Most Disappointing 2006 AL Central Team".

It's hard to find fault in a team improving 21 games, but when you realize that the Kansas City season ended the same time as the Pale Hose, Cinderella doesn't quite seem to the most accurate adjective to describe last year's Royals. Perhaps a sheep in wolf's clothing works better. They hung with the Indians for the first half of the year, trailing that club by as little as a half-game as late as Independence Day, but a five-game losing streak to kick off the second half dug too deep of a hole for a team led by Carl Pavano to climb out of. A fine September pushed the team over .500 for the season, and good for them, but also realize that this was a mediocre team through and through. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

And then there was one, the same one as there was at the end of last season. The Tribe went from tied for first at the All-Star break, eight games above .500, to 98-64 after a ridiculous 50-24 second-half run. Instead of the pitching falling apart, as I predicted it would time and time again, Cliff Bartosh emerged as an ace and everyone stayed healthy. Perhaps more importantly, this club was the only one in the division to improve significantly at the deadline, beefing up the bullpen with "Mercernary Mike" Koplove and the much-maligned Armando Benitez, and making a pale attempt at improving the lineup by adding "Rockin' Robin" Ventura. Needless to say, he didn't exactly work out, but a brilliant Cleveland pitching staff carried the team to their second-half success, and then throughout the postseason. Having a year's hindsight, it's almost painful that I underrated their pitching so much (I saw it as the team's flaw!), but Beckett, Bartosh, and Sabathia all stayed healthy and turned in brilliant career years. 700+ innings of 2.50 ERA ball is a hell of a head start on the opposition, and the three were just as dominant in the postseason, combining for an 8-4 ledger. Looking at it through the lens of mid-May, 2006, a Cleveland world championship makes no sense. A handful of real-life and simulation months later, it fits perfectly. It's a testament to the fluidity and unpredictability that comes with human performance, and it's one of the things that makes baseball great. One of the few things that isn't fluid and unpredictable is the past -- and the flag that comes along with it, at least for this club. We can measure what was pretty accurately, but we can't necessarily do it at the time.

So that brings us to today. We know what was. We don't know what will be. Cleveland may have been #1 last year, but everyone's tied up once again. Who will emerge on top this time? I don't know, but I know what my heart says. Now let's see what my head comes up with.

[MarkyMark1908]

Any chance you could consolodate with the Midwest Dynasty and make a Chicago super-team? With Buddha , they may never lose a game.

Keep up the good work.

[cknox0723]

just a bump to remind my lazy self to get off my duff and start writing. unfortunately, my schedule is packed over the next 48 hours, but that's never stopped me before. nevertheless, if you don't see an update until friday night or saturday...

Originally Posted by MarkyMark1908

Any chance you could consolodate with the Midwest Dynasty and make a Chicago super-team? With Buddha , they may never lose a game.

Keep up the good work.

you know, this thought actually occured to me, too! my exact thought process was something like, "damn, we could really help this team!"...then i realized that even our cleanup hitter, frank thomas, wouldn't be starting for them. so my tune quickly changed to, "damn, magglio ordonez, mark buehrle, and joe roa could really help this team!"

if this was the 19th century, i could pull a merger off and then take all the credit. as for now...oh, well.

[gordyhulten]

Originally Posted by cknox0723

just a bump to remind my lazy self to get off my duff and start writing. unfortunately, my schedule is packed over the next 48 hours, but that's never stopped me before. nevertheless, if you don't see an update until friday night or saturday...

Hope things slow down for you a little. When I see you've posted at 3:51 AM, I worry.

[Vris]

You mean 5:51 AM...

[gordyhulten]

Says 3:51 for me here in Central Time, which I think means it was 4:51 in Jersey, where (I think) Craig is located. Either way, the poor guy needs some sleep.

Where are you, Vris? Novia Scotia?

[canadiancreed]

Originally Posted by gordyhulten

Says 3:51 for me here in Central Time, which I think means it was 4:51 in Jersey, where (I think) Craig is located. Either way, the poor guy needs some sleep.

Where are you, Vris? Novia Scotia?

fo soem reason this made me smile

I think there's only one board member in Nova Scotia (ill16ca), I think Vris is in either SE PA or Boston area, cant remember which

[Vris]

Currently SE Pennsylvania. And it would've been 4:51 CT. You sure you got your forum settings all correct? Unless Illinois is one of those Commie states that doesn't use daylight savings time (or is it Indiana...I don't remember).

[ifspuds]

It's Indiana. I lived there for 6.5 years (which was 6.5 years too long, for me).

[cknox0723]

as the displaced new englander has already ascertained, it was in fact 5:51 when i made that post, which was only some 15 minutes before you actually made your post, gordy. hope i don't have to worry about you, too.

nah, i kid. i appreciate the (misplaced) worry, truly. i am lacking on sleep, but i am typically a morning person, or at least i try to fake it, so i'm up at six a.m. as often as possible. uh, anyway...

Originally Posted by gordyhulten

Where are you, Vris? Novia Scotia?

like creed, i found this hilariously funny. for the record (not that you really care -- but hey), i am in virginia for the next three plus weeks, then i'm going back home to sweet new jersey where i'll be for the rest of the year 2005. then back down here, as long as newport news, va doesn't float off into the atlantic. and, yes, there will be a quiz, so memorize that asap. i will have 'net access at home, though -- something i was worried about -- so the pale hose should soldier on no problem!

if i ever get back to the baseball talk, that is. but, hey, every post like this moves me up a half spot on the 2005 dynasty countdown, right? i know, i am a sly, sly dog!

keep up the good work, all.

[seth70liz76]

At least the tradition of the Pale Hose being "the OT of dynasty" still carries on. And this is an OT I'm proud to be associated with (no offense to OT Regs . . . ok, no offense to OT Regs I like.)

[Vris]

And just think, the posts in here actually count!

[cknox0723]

Originally Posted by Vris

And just think, the posts in here actually count!

+1?

Originally Posted by seth70liz76

At least the tradition of the Pale Hose being "the OT of dynasty" still carries on. And this is an OT I'm proud to be associated with (no offense to OT Regs . . . ok, no offense to OT Regs I like.)

yeah, agreed. i like this forum a lot, i feel comfortable enough here to post...well, just about anything...and have it taken in stride. make of that what you will. i'm sure you all know what it's like to be thinking about your ootp league at work, while you're driving, at class, whenever. i consider my little tangential posts in here the reciprocal of that. anything that gets people reading the great dynasties in this forum and posting is ok in my book.