Yet Another OOTP6 Dynasty, Year 2: One Flew Over the Pale Hose

[seth70liz76]

You post in four other, but only one Pale Hose update today.

[Vris]

A mercy bump. Why? Cause I feel like posting in here.

[cknox0723]

Originally Posted by seth70liz76

You post in four other, but only two Pale Hose updates today.

^^^fixed that for ya

[cknox0723]

In the agate type on a sidebar on page nine of the Chicago Sun Times' sports section:

Chicago (A) 2
New York (A) 3 (11)

Former White Sox farmhand Kris Honel tossed six shutout innings as the Yankees defeated the Pale Hose three to two in Pomegranate League play on Monday. Chicago prospect Ryan Wing walked four batters but fanned six and allowed just one run in five innings, a solo home run to Bronson Sardinha. New York added another run in the seventh off of Rick Ankiel to push their lead to two, but the Sox tied the game up in the next half-frame when Ramon Vazquez doubled home a pair of runners. However, he was thrown out trying to steal third, and Chicago failed to get another runner after that. After a pair of eleventh-inning singles, Hector Gimenez hit a fly ball to left deep enough to plate Bronson Sardinha to end the game in New York's favor. Righthander T.J. Beam, who pitched two scoreless innings, was credited with the win and Eric Cyr took the loss. Chicago will conclude their exhibition action with a game later in the week against their cross-town rivals.

[gordyhulten]

Originally Posted by cknox0723

In the agate type on a sidebar on page nine of the Chicago Sun Times' sports section:

Chicago (A) 2
New York (A) 3 (11)

Nothing like some extra-innings in the Pomegranate League - perfect for getting your young, budding superstars some extra work!

[cknox0723]

Originally Posted by gordyhulten

Nothing like some extra-innings in the Pomegranate League - perfect for getting your young, budding superstars some extra work!

^^^gets it, even if he is wildly optimistic. (it would be news to me if we had young, budding lilies; never mind ballplayers!)

It was nice to have a change of pace from the typical recap with something more realistic, but I couldn't go the whole way; it seemed too forced. Hence the Pomegranate League makes its appearance.

The most impressive young, budding star from yesterday's battle was most definitely Rule 5 Pick Aneudi Cuevas, who had a pair of hits and showed that he could handle shortstop OK. He's a lock to make the team at this point. On the other hand, fellow Rule 5'er Marcos Carvajal will need to have a mighty impressive performance in our third and final spring training game to avoid being returned to Dodgertown. Maybe I'm falling prey to the sample size trap here, but...I don't know, Carvajal just seems really, really wild. A thrower, not a pitcher. Just too raw for my tastes. He's thrown 40 pitches in game action, 23 for strikes. I'd rather have the flexibility of the roster spot or someone who might actually contribute this year. And Mike Crudale.

[Vris]

[aside]Would OOTP send him back where he came from, or is that something you have to do manually?[/aside]

These ST games are a fascinating addition Craig. Something I'm going to have to work on for my next venture.

[cknox0723]

Originally Posted by Vris

[aside]Would OOTP send him back where he came from, or is that something you have to do manually?[/aside]

Nah, you'd have to do it, but it'd take 30 seconds at most. Just cut the guy (turn off finances if you don't want to pay the $300,000, which seems fair enough to me) -- the computer won't sign him immediately, of course, so all you have to do on the free agent screen is find the team he came from and sign him back. May not be ideal but, hell, there's a workaround for almost everything if you think about it enough.

As an aside , you completely confounded me with your use of "aside" in brackets. I expected the text to be in a quote box or change color or something. Excellent work!

Originally Posted by Vris

These ST games are a fascinating addition Craig. Something I'm going to have to work on for my next venture.

Thanks. I like playing them out, too. Don't know how much further you could go with them but it's something I plan on thinking about.

[cknox0723]

2006 NL CENTRAL STANDINGS
Chicago Cubs..........97-65 (.599 win pct), L to CLE 4-2 in WORLD SERIES
Houston Astros........82-80 (.506), 15 GB
St. Louis Cardinals...79-83 (.488), 18 GB
Cincinnati Reds.......72-90 (.444), 25 GB
Pittsburgh Pirates....67-95 (.414), 30 GB
Milwaukee Brewers.....66-96 (.407), 31 GB

Boy, that's ugly. One damn good team and a bunch of nonsense. Much like another division we're all too familiar with.

Enough with the pithy introductions...let's see if the Midwest is in for another year of this.

[cknox0723]

Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Accursed, that state is. Home of the inimitable Mr. Moungey and a big steaming pile of nothing else, baseball team included. Things haven't changed in this universe. Three straight seasons below 70 wins, and that doesn't also read "three straight last-place finishes" only because Pittsburgh's every bit as inept. But that franchise broke their ways by adding Cy Young winner Joel Pineiro this offseason. What did the Crew do?

Nothing, unless Paul Byrd counts, which he doesn't. So what does a 66-win team have to look forward to?

Well, Scott Podesdnik is a hell of a player with a hell of a name. His OBP over the last two seasons is right around .400, and he's added 130 stolen bases to boot. This is Rock Raines, reincarnate. So where do the bumbling Brewers bat Pods?

Fifth. Well, at least that'll boost his RBI totals, so he gets more money in arbitration. Toolsy youngster David Kryznel will bat leadoff instead. I suppose it's a lack of options, more than anything. It's not as if the Brewers are teeming with quality bats. Young first baseman Brad Nelson, who I apparently dubbed "Hobbs", has a saccharine-sweet left-handed swing and the .300 averages to show for it. He also slugged all of .399 last year. He's the club's #3 hitter. Mercy me, I think we've found another team worse than the Pale Hose!

Geoff Jenkins, professional cleanup hitter, is a fine middle-of-the-order bat when he's not hurt or hitting .225 like he has two of the last three years. I'd rather have Maggs Ordonez. Casey Blake is the only other hitter who will definitely be above league-average, but he doesn't have the power nor the patience to have any more upside than the ~.760 OPS he's settled into the last few years.

The rest of the names are an amalgam of ne'er-do-wells, has-beens, and ne'er-will-bes. Wil Cordero? Einar Diaz? In their mid-30's? What was their upside in their prime years -- .270 average, a little power? What does that leave you with now?

Young shortstop J.J. Hardy has an empty .242 average over three seasons' worth of scattered at-bats, 533 in total. He'll probably be better than that .580 OPS, but not by a whole lot. And the man who stole the leadoff job from Scotty Pods hit .286 last year. In AAA. David Krynzel, for your own sake, I hope you're batting seventh by June. This team will have enough trouble scoring runs; they don't need to have their leadoff hitter batting fifth to boot.

As weak as that lineup is, Milwaukee fans can't even take solace in their pitching staff, as is the case with their real counterpart. No Ben Sheets in this universe; he was shuffled off to Minnesota a year and a half ago for Wade Miller, who's gone to hell as soon as coming to Olde Milwaukee. He managed an abysmal eight wins to fifteen losses last season, with a run average near five -- and then blew out his arm in September! He'll probably start the year on the disabled list.

Winter Sheets isn't around, so the nominal title of staff ace falls on...Darrell May, who's actually had three strong years in this universe. 34 starts in each, won-lost records better than .500, and ERA's in the mid-threes -- before last year's career-best 3.07. Only downside is that he's 34 and...well, he's Darrell May, but he's a dozen steps ahead of the rest of the shining stars in the rotation, most of whom are reasonably young yet still fall in that "never was, never-will-be" category. Juan Cruz is probably the best of the lot, by virtue of his solid strikeout rate, but his run average was near five last year. But Juan Dominguez and Andy Good just aren't any...well...good, damn it. Paul Byrd and Doug Davis are around, too, but the latter lost 27 over 65 starts in 2004 and 2005, prompting a move to the bullpen last year that somehow went even worse. Perhaps they'll try right field this year; couldn't hurt. Byrd is just awful, living up to his name by allowing dozens of baseballs to fly away annually. I'd wonder why he's still in baseball, but he's no worse than the rest of this team's pitching staff, including the bullpen, which I'll barely mention because it's such a waste dump.

Todd Van Poppel is the closer. Same guy with a career ERA north of five, same first round bust extraordinaire, same guy who lost nine and allowed 13 long balls in 88 innings last year. So think about it for a second. What can I possibly say about the guys worse than Van Poppel? They probably won't have an ERA over ten? They might be better than the Twins' AAA bullpen? Why even bother? Easier to just ignore it.

Mercifully, not all is completely bare in the oaken Milwaukee cupboard. Rickie Weeks, a second base prospect, is on the cusp of the big leagues. Last year's first rounder, backstop Clay Vogan, is a bit further off, but judging by his sparkling OBP in A-ball, he'll be a good one, too. I don't see anyone worth a whit beyond them, but...hell, it's a start. A couple hunks of cheese, those guys are. Can't make supper out of it, but not totally useless. These guys just need some bread and mustard and a bratwurst or two. In the meantime, they'll be the mice of the National League, living on cheese. Just hope they don't get caught in a trap. Could get ugly then.

[jaykno14]

As a Brewer fan I hope that they aren't like this for the next three years in real life.

[cknox0723]

Originally Posted by jaykno14

As a Brewer fan I hope that they aren't like this for the next three years in real life.

i figured i could get you to comment on this one!

don't fret too much; i like both versions of milwaukee. just not for this year.

this next post is another one i'm really proud of, so feel free to stroke my ego after you are, too. then go check out yoda's top 75 dynasties' thread, one i should have plugged a long time ago.

[cknox0723]

If Milwaukee's the mice, Pittsburgh is a rockslide. What the hell does that mean? From page two of this very thread:

Originally Posted by DAL 9000

About the girl, because although you conspicuously refrained from asking for advice, I feel compelled to give it 'cause I'm a total dick: I know other people have probably told you this, but shut up and ask her out already, fool! Look, what's the worst that can happen? I'll tell you what's the worst that's ever happened to ME: I asked Ruth Graham out and she turned me down. OK, no biggie, I got over it. Then a few months later at our school-sponsored graduation party, she volunteered for the hypnotist routine, and at the very end of it he said, "Is there a boy you think is very, very cute, Ruth?" and she said, "Yes." and he said, "When I say [whatever the word was, "rockslide" or something] you'll go find that boy, and you'll make out with him," and that's how she ended up Frenching Ajayi Lawrence in front of the entire Class of 2003, including me, of course.

Dude, this girl of yours will NOT end up publicly making out with one of your classmates while under hypnosis. Probably. Neither will she stare at you afterwards when you tell her, "Hey, no worries, Ruth. Who among us hasn't been taken advantage of by a travelling hypnotist?" And even if she /does/ get hypnotized into making out with one of your classmates /and/ stare at you afterwards, you'll get over it.

Eventually.

Stupid friggin' hypnotists and their stupid, stupid rockslides.

Ruth goes to BYU now, though. True story.

As has been said, that's the funniest freakin' story ever, certainly in this forum. You're probably wondering, though, "What the hell could that have to do with the Pirates?"

Easy. They got up the nerve to be like David and ask out Ruth Graham. And what's more, Ruth -- Joel Pineiro -- said yes!

Holy sh*t! Think about that -- I picture myself in that scenario. Getting up the nerve to ask out the object of my affections (I won't post pix, but suffice it to say...), and this girl saying yes to skinny, awkward, socially inept little ol' me. Stumbling onto a diamond for who knows what reason. Now, don't start thinking that I see myself as simply as a skinny, awkward, socially inept schmuck -- I don't have any real desire to turn this into a self-help thread -- but for the most part, that's who I am. And that's the Pirates. Lovable losers. 25th in run scoring last year, 27th in run prevention, and most of that thanks to guys that were around three or four years ago. Jay Kendall. J.J. Davis. Ian Oquendo, Kris Benson, Mark Corey. One good young player in the system, 2005 1st rounder Adam Felan, a second baseman who's about a year away from being the new Jeff Kent. Last year's number one overall pick, shortstop Mike Wright, hit .210 -- in A-ball. Writing him off this early would be foolish, especially with his disciplined approach at the plate, but he's a long, long ways off.

And last year's AL Cy Young, a 21-game winner...picked here? A $55 million diamond helped, but...still! Could it be that Pineiro sees beyond Pittsburgh's awkwardness, funny chin, and crooked teeth? That there's something more here?

Nope. That's not it. There's something more in Chicago, but this team won't pull off a playoff appearance until they seriously overhaul a mediocre at-best lineup and eight or nine pitchers that aren't worth much. So Pineiro's a gold-digger, then, and Pittsburgh is Ajay Lawrence. Fine. I can handle that. They'll break up in three months anyway.

But if it was me...if it was the Pale Hose...I bet things would have worked out like every dream I've ever had. Haven't you thought the same thing?

[Jestor]

Brilliant way to summarize the Pirates!

I just thought of something.... Maybe Ruth Pineiro is fascinated by Pittsburgh because Steeltown is a strange, strange man.

[Y0DA55]

Originally Posted by cknox0723

this next post is another one i'm really proud of, so feel free to stroke my ego after you are, too. then go check out yoda's top 75 dynasties' thread, one i should have plugged a long time ago.

Thanks for the plug Craig.

Counting down the days until the 2007 season starts...

[gordyhulten]

Originally Posted by cknox0723

I don't have any real desire to turn this into a self-help thread

Too late!

Great post - I still love that story...

[cknox0723]

thank you for the kind words, gentlemen, and of course thanks to dal for the inspiration for that post. like gordy said...what a fantastic, fantastic story.

in honor of yoda's countdown and use of "counting the days till opening day 2007", we'll move a step closer with this next post. eight more to go after this one.

[cknox0723]

Seventeenth in the major leagues in run scoring, seventeenth in run prevention. You'd expect a team with those numbers to have a record pretty close to the middle of the pack, right?

Nope. The Redlegs from Cincinnati instead finished at 72-90, six games under their Pythagorean record. How'd that happen? A 5-12 record in extra innings seems like a good place to start, with most of that carnage attributable to erstwhile closer Ryan Wagner, a spectacular relief ace for two years until the strike zone slipped out of his grasp last year. Toss in a weak bench populated with the likes of Kit Pellow (.318 slugging...meee-ow) and yet another Rule 5 fiasco, Chris Duffy (232 AB, .273 OBP). That and a little bouillon and you have a fine recipe for losing the close games. Serves 25.

For a team that finished 18 games under .500, the not-so-close games were a problem, too, so to combat that, enter Joe Borchard and his powers of rejuvenation. Yeah, him. His in-game nickname is "Beet Soup", so maybe the Reds just wanted a tastier recipe for disaster this year. His offensive "contributions" will pale next to outfield mates Austin Kearns and Raul Ibanez, but at least he'll give Cincinnati a quality defensive outfield. And they'll have 2/3 of a quality outfield, period, as the 26 year old Kearns has 115 career home runs and "Fender Bender" Ibanez has quietly put up two career-best seasons since migrating to the midwest, and "career-best" really doesn't even tell the whole story.

YEAR	AB	2B	HR	R+RBI	AVG	OBP	SLG
2005	587	47	27	200	.308	.358	.554
2006	547	45	26	170	.316	.384	.552

At 34 years young, it's debatable how much longer he'll keep it up, but Ibanez gives Cincinnati a true talent at the #3 spot in the batting order. Unfortunately, he's the only sure-fire stud in this bunch, though most of the other names are at least interesting. Ray Olmedo and B.J. Upton provide a flying circus up the middle and are a hell of a duo if they both hit .290 like last year. Don't know about Olmedo, but Upton is all of twenty-two years old and has a ceiling of...oh, the Sistine Chapel. And Kevin Cash is worth his weight in gold behind the plate. How many catchers hit fifth, whack 19 balls out of the park, and bat over .300? Not many, especially in this league.

But consider this -- all those guys were around last year, doing serious damange, and the Reds were still below average in run scoring. This time around, a carousel of replacement-level bats, most notably Luis Lopez and Ryan Shealy, will handle first base instead of Kevin Witt, who cracked 17 home runs last year. Joe Borchard replaces The Kid in center. Ryan Freel and his .619 OPS is back at the hot corner for another whirl. Aww, f'real? F'real! How can I say that this club will score more runs this year?

Worse, though, is that the entire pitching staff returns unchanged. For things to improve in that sort of scenario, you'd expect a load of young pitchers with upside, but instead, the only young starting pitchers are a guy named Bubba and a man with a 112 to 104 strikeout-to-walk ratio. The latter, Jose Guevara, is a sure bet to regress from his 3.84 ERA a year ago. The former, a Mr. Nelson, is actually pretty decent, but with such a dopey name, don't blame me for hoping he fails, too. The rest of the rotation is decidedly mediocre, as Zach Day, Carlos Silva, and Scott Schoeneweis are a good bet to match the mediocre performances the Reds received a year ago from Zach Day, Carlos Silva, and Scott Schoeneweis. That's not a compliment.

Something is telling me this club will be improved this year, though. Maybe it's just my affinity for last year's first round pick, closer prospect Matt Farmer, a native of Middletown, New Jersey, my fine (sort of) hometown. Or maybe it's just that I'm a fanboy of the predictive utility of Pythagorean records. Whatever the case, .500 seems like a good hole to peg this team in, and they're a sleeper for the wild card in aught-eight.

So long as they rid themselves of Joe Borchard by then.

[gordyhulten]

Originally Posted by cknox0723

he rest of the rotation is decidedly mediocre, as Zach Day, Carlos Silva, and Scott Schoeneweis are a good bet to match the mediocre performances the Reds received a year ago from Zach Day, Carlos Silva, and Scott Schoeneweis.

Ah, sweet mediocrity. For some reason, it's one of my favorite words right now. Just rolls off the tongue, doesn't it?

Say it with me, now: Mee - dee - ah - krih - tee.

Beautiful.

Originally Posted by cknox0723

Cincinnati

Why the bolded third "n" in Cincinnati? Did I miss a story somewhere along the line?

[BadluckinOOTP]

Originally Posted by gordyhulten

Why the bolded third "n" in Cincinnati? Did I miss a story somewhere along the line?

I think that it's bolded because since its a very commonly misspelled word. I think.