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11-24-2019, 03:20 AM | #81 |
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Unremarkable 73-89 season for the Big Tomato, headed back down to Silver (and honestly, looking at the team, Silver is where they belong). The initial small ball experiment failed spectacularly, and the minor twist really didn’t work out at all. So they’re now a light-hitting team with no particular focus, playing in a dead ball field. Acquiring new talent, period, appears to be more than enough of a hurdle to leap. I’ve sold a hundred “live” cards and drawn perhaps ten non-live. Trickle trickle. |
11-25-2019, 03:15 AM | #82 |
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Offseason Acquisitions, I guess. The Penguins picked up RHSP Shane Reynolds and CF Vada Pinson. Neither is an upgrade, really, they’re just useful spare parts. We gained a little flexibility in the OF, I guess. Insurance vs prolonged hitting slumps, and Pinson should love hitting in the Igloo (gap hitter, his card is made for it). Ditto for the rotation. Reynolds no Ace, but he should hold down a 3 or 4 spot. But they’re solid gold-diamond level players, not Perfects. I fear to get a serious upgrade at any position we’re going to have to save up for multiple seasons and/or have a Fire Sale. And of course the cards will need to be available. The sports writers are not terribly excited about our prospects this year, once again the goal will be avoiding relegation, probably. We're talking with a team from Santo Domingo, they might want to build us an entirely new ball park. Santo Domingo, hot and humid. Penguins, cute and chilly. Does not sound like a fit for us. Sandy, could you get the mayor of Anchorage on the phone for me? Last edited by Lemandria; 11-25-2019 at 04:18 AM. |
11-26-2019, 02:39 AM | #83 |
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Mallards in this division, they’ve rolled over us before. Wouldn’t qualify them as ‘whale’, though. I do see a some whales in other divisions, maybe they won’t stray over here too often. Look, that guy has at least thirty seasons in perfect and most of them qualifying, and a handful of series wins. Stay over there, shoo! Can’t play the schedule though, need to play the actual games, little birds. Mar/April (so far, there are still games to play in Apr) we went 11-14 (.440). Rdiff is only -4, so not too awful, hitting the ball at least. Hot start, cold finish. Runs scored, 4th. Runs against 12th. Starters again, I wish I could do something about that. Division 3rd, Overall 18th. 2 teams in the 200 club, 6 teams in the 300 club, 6 teams in the 400 club. Mendoza Line Qualifiers Review: Dihigo Yount Betts Freeman maybe Pinson Turner of the hitters. Vazquez Palmer Strasburg Mussina Greinke maybe Severino of the pitchers. Four of them guys are pitching from the bullpen. Some odd ducks on the booby prize list, what an atypical month. Ah, I see–for some reason this particular league has swarms of LHP, and we’re seeing much higher than typical Lefty starts. I bet there are some really unusual stadiums out there. Ayup, there sure are. Look, there’s even a deadball stadium! This could be a much more interesting year, even if we get clobbered. |
11-27-2019, 02:46 AM | #84 |
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Third in the division, 14th overall. Rdiff hangs at -5, essentially unchanged from last month. Chris Sale, even in the bullpen, is 1-5 with ERA of 14.77. I’ve reached the conclusion that this guy cannot pitch at all, at any level—he certainly never has for us. Banishment time, what a human waste of PP. Contract terminated. Dean is not pitching well, putting him in the 1 hole is asking too much. But we don’t really have an “ace,” and he’s done the best job lifetime for us. He’s had to pitch against some serious Perfect Monsters, tho. Poor fella. Gonna bullpen him for a while and let Moose have a stretch in the rotation. Warning, Moose, you aren’t likely to see many Ws. Pitching staff Mendoza line: Mussina Greinke Severino Vazquez Palmer Strasburg. Two starters whoohoo! Lineups Mendoza Line: Giles Bets Fisk Dihigo Pinson Freeman Turner Cedeno Yount and maybe Sandberg. Nothing usual there except that we’re actually getting a little hitting from the infield. Some years we get nothing. The only guys who are seriously not hitting play LF/DH. Frown. Why is left always such an issue? Runs scored 3rd, runs against t-12th. So yeah, we’re over-hitting and under-pitching right now, enjoy it while it lasts. Hey Clarke, Pinson’s gonna take your job if you continue stinking up your corner. Step it up! What do ya’ll think about the Portland Penguins? You adorable little aquatic fowl don’t hate rain, do you? We might be able to get a stadium deal, maybe even a thirty year lease. Last edited by Lemandria; 11-27-2019 at 02:53 AM. |
11-28-2019, 01:47 AM | #85 |
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For the month, 13-12, so +1/2. Not too shabby, for Perfect we’ll take it. Hitters are…doing well(!!) Been a couple of years since I could say that. Runs Scored – 3rd 1st to 6th in most of the offense categories. Eating their Wheaties this year? Offensive Mendoza Line: Cedeno (limited PA) Pinson Giles Betts Dihigo Fisk Freeman Turner Brock. Replacement: Sandberg Clarke Yount Fosse. Clarke’s just begging me to play Pinson in left. Hit above .250 dude, or a Pinson/Cedeno platoon will push you right onto the bench. Pitching isn’t such a pretty picture. Runs Against 11th, ERA 11th. Pitching Mendoza: Mussina Greinke Severino Vazquez Strasburg Palmer. Hey, that’s 4 starters. 2nd in Division, 15th overall, right in the middle of the pack. Comfortably above that scary .400 relegation zone, at least for now. |
11-29-2019, 03:53 AM | #86 |
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12-12 for the month, yawn. 2nd in division, somehow only 3 games back. 12th overall. This league seems to feature only one genuine rock-crusher, and he’s grinding up the NL and leaving us little humble teams in peace. But we’re hitting the baseball! Offensive Medoza Line Batting this month includes every hitter on the team except two: Sandberg and Fosse wear the collar of shame. Not too shabby, but why is the team at .491? Well, too many live arms which (as everyone knows) are trash in Perfect. Honestly, low diamond and high gold pitchers that belong down in Diamond. Pitching that is every bit as bad as the hitting is good. And again, I’ve no way to address the issue except time and luck. We could be repeating this lament for many, many seasons. Our junior franchises are seeing some tourney luck, but the Penguins are only winning a standard pack here and there, naturally they’re filled with Iron cards. Shrug. This is the dreaded ‘perfect doldrums’ you hear so much about on message boards. Cue Snow White: “Some day my Prince will come.” Hope he can pitch. |
11-29-2019, 03:51 PM | #87 |
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ESPN Breaking News, Aug 10 2054
Perfect game by David Price. In regular season play, not a tourney.
Player of the Game: David Price Ballpark: Force Field Weather: Roof closed, 74 degrees Start Time: 7:05 PM MST Time: 2:44 Attendance: 34430 Special Notes: Perfection! (D. Price, 9.0 IP, 0 HA, 0 R, 0 BB, 5 K, 100 pitches vs. the Totally Clueless). Only 5 Ks in 27 batters, he was getting a lot of ground ball outs. No Addie Joss 74-pitch miracle, but he was definitely throwing strikes. Not-qualifying-for-Maddux Pefect Game, one pitch too many. Last edited by Lemandria; 11-29-2019 at 03:56 PM. |
11-30-2019, 03:27 AM | #88 |
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12-14, so -1 game. Not too shabby, good job fellas. We’re actually still in striking range of the division, 3-1/2 games, though admittedly that would take something of a miracle to achieve. We do play 10 games against a single opponent next month, for some known-only-to-the-scheduler reason. But not the division leader, only three games ‘gainst Wallawallla. 2nd in Division, 15th overall. Still dead middle, in terms of the entire league. It looks doubtful for movement up or down. General numbers are much the same; we’re here offensively but the pitching is meh. Looks like a unremarkable year, all ’round. Mendoza line hitters above: Cedeno, Pinson, Giles, Freeman, Betts, Dihigo, Fisk, Yount, Clarke. Turner, Brock. On the annoyed list: Sandberg Fosse Mendoza line pitchers above: Greinke Mussina Strasburg Vazquez Reynolds Hendriks. On the annoyed list: Palmer Severino Dean Bedrosian Sain Olson. Olson is having a really, really bad year with the control, which is why we don’t have Aroldis Chapman on the team. Who needs two control issues in their pen? Pessimistic Projection™ says we end at 79 wins, but the schedule ahead looks just slightly worse than average. So, gut call it 75. Difficult to predict, with 10 of 29 games vs a single opponent. Assuming the wheels come off entirely, the absolute worst we can finish is .401—same as last year, and still well north of relegation. Last edited by Lemandria; 11-30-2019 at 04:21 AM. |
12-01-2019, 03:01 AM | #89 |
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Your friendly Penguins missed .500 because they dropped game 162, finishing at a thoroughly average 80-82. All in all, we prefer that outcome over anxiously watching the relegation race. A pretty average year all around. :celebrate: The hitters done good this year, take a bow guys. Now let’s talk about consistency, PLEASE. We can’t have any more years of leaving the bats in the dugout. And we need to acquire some better Defense, without giving up the stick. Easy! (cough) The pitchers survived somehow. They’re outclassed by Perfect, and we all know it. Razzies: Greg Olson. You finished below replacement, those walks killed us this year, dumbass. Fred Clarke. You finished below replacement, and your defense is too terrible to carry if you leave your stick at home. Should I replace you with a platoon? Ryne Sandberg. Damn, dude, that is one awful year. |
12-03-2019, 03:05 AM | #90 |
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A whole new set of problems :look around at the league: Whoah-oh-oh, look at all the seasons and titles on that guy, he’s gonna crush us. 24 for 24 consecutive winning Perfect seasons, six Pe series wins. Oh, look, he’s in my division. The other guys in this div look like normal humans, this guy’s gonna be locking up the division by August. For Apr/early May: 9-17 (.346). Under .400 is never, ever good. What’s going on, exactly? Bullpen ERA 15th. Looks like that expensive Rollie card is really paying off!!! Kirby Yates isn’t pitching badly. 4 of 5 starters are doing meh. But everyone else is just getting their brains beat out right out of their skulls. Runs scored 12, runs against 13. Of 15 teams. Yikes. Position in division: 4th, Overall 26th. Yes, there actually are teams off to worse starts than ours. We’re a precious +1/2 game north of the relegation line, at least at the moment. Oh Penguins, you’ve just got to do better than this. Fight for every half game, you overpaid tee-ballers. Let’s start the drinking and pray that it’s just an icy cold start. If you hear whimpering from a dark corner this season, it’s probably me. |
12-04-2019, 02:57 AM | #91 |
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Jun 4
For May: 12-15 (.444) For 2055: 22-31 (.415) Division: 4th (20GB) Overall: 22nd (+5G over relegation line) Runs scored: 11th Runs Against: 10th Looks like the pitching is slowly picking up, at least a little bit. This could be a .450 team zomg! Or not. Confidence and expectations remain low. Relievers still getting shelled, just not as badly. We’re .316 in 1-run games! Chicago Cubs territory. Hitters, meh. The lefties are digging the season so far, the righties are over in the darkest part of the dugout playing with their bats. Guess that means less LH pitching to feast on in this league? I think Clarke got tired of me scowling at him, he just won a POTW. So that’s one (count em, 1) good week for the season thus far. Moose is pitching pretty well. Last year’s rookie Shane Reynolds is pitching all right. Finished the Detroit and Baltimore collections, Miami 95% complete. Tourney win card draws are kick-starting the stalled collections, on the easy ones. The Gold tourney team picked up a couple of arms. Brutes doing well, Tomato treading water. And that’s the news at six! |
12-05-2019, 05:05 AM | #92 |
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For June, 14-14 (.500) Division, 4th (26-1/2 GB) Overall, 37-45 (.451), 19th. Relegation line +9g. We won a couple of tournaments,->which turned into six packs->which turned into a new backup catcher (more on that later). We won a couple of POTWs, which (maybe) turned into all star votes? Doubt it. Relief pitching continues to struggle but individual performances have made bright spots now and then. Johnny Sain and Gregg Olson were both exiled to the ice floes following last season’s flops, but they’re both pitching very well at the moment. Moose is making consistent solid starts again. The other four starters are pitching right around league average…not doing too much damage, but not dazzling either. The hitters are beginning to lose interest and wander aimlessly around in the outfield again, except for single-week hitting displays from Brock and Clarke. Unfortunately isolated performances–Brock went right back to ice cold following his week in the newscasts. C Ray Fosse has announced his retirement as fading numbers and the Pete Rose incident/injury have detracted from his playing career. He’ll be working is his new job as the Announcer for New Orleans Penguins baseball. We’d like to thank Mr. Fosse for his contributions and many years of service. The New Orleans Penguins would like to welcome our newest rookie: Catcher JT Realmoney … er, Realmuto. He’ll be taking over as Pudge’s sidekick, as they share duties behind home plate. Remember JD Martinez, Penguins fans? Apparently our scouts have a fondness for guys with initials instead of first names. |
12-06-2019, 02:43 AM | #93 |
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Thus far we aren’t facing relegation yet, boys, keep the chins up. July was pretty good, 15-9 (.625). We actually reached .500 for one brief, shining moment. 50-55 for the year (.476). Moved all the way up to 3rd in the division, but that uppity nonsense should end with Death rolling into town. 16th overall, dead middle. Currently +15-1/2 over the relegation line, and we’ll need every one of those games in August. The pitching is looking a wee better, 4 relievers and two starters over the pitching Mendoza line. Hitting–well, 8 above Mendoza. Runs scored 9th, Allowed 8th. At least we can all share the blame pretty equally. Just remember, this is our peak of the season, because here comes Death, on his way to winning 116 (give or take). He leads the league overall, so I guess it’s just my turn to take my lumps. He should lock before August ends. I just hope he doesn’t push us too close to that R-line. |
12-07-2019, 03:12 AM | #94 |
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For August, 7-21 (.250). As expected, Death locked up the division, and he did it while standing on our corpses. Cy Young pitched a 6-hitter (WE GOT SIX HITS AGAINST CY YOUNG SQUEEEEEEE) to clinch the division. Looks like the Revolution will cruise easily to yawn another perfect series–but the Saints (even more Pe experience and series wins) are only a game or two behind him. This outcome was predictable at opening day, ya’ll. We fell back a lot (4th in division, 21st overall) but we’re not yet into relegation territory. Think we might be all right, fellas, currently +12-1/2 games over relegation line. Only three games left to play against Death in Sept, a much much much much friendlier schedule. Pessimistic Projection Model says we end with 72 wins. (Death ends with 120.) If we lose every single game next month, we’ll still be slightly ahead of the current relegation line. The doldrums will continue! Possibly forever, at the rate we (aren’t) acquiring new talent. |
12-08-2019, 02:58 AM | #95 |
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Jersey and Trenton finished one and two, as predicted from opening day. Congrats, guys. Tune in again next week for the continuing doldrums, as we’ve acquired no new talent (except for a backup catcher, as previously noted) that could possibly save us. Maybe we’ll score in a deck pull some day. I hear that does happen to some people, and we are opening our tourney decks diligently. Results thus far: Enough Iron to build an entire new stadium. In the mean time, we’ll probably finish Live Toronto collection today, and keep plugging away at the kind of things we can do. Like knitting new mittens for our adorable Penguins. |
12-08-2019, 03:01 AM | #96 |
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Sacramento Big Tomato season review The big news this season was our two rookie additions, closer Billy Wagner and starter Johnny Sain. Not much else happened, really. Tomato finished in the middle of the pack (3rd division, 18th overall). A rather uneventful year. The scouts checked out hundreds and hundreds of time travelers, rejecting all as ordered by the front office. We’ll keep you updated if the discover any exciting new historical talent. Brute Force 2055 recap Vancouver won the AC East division, edging out The_JH Jay (who came on strong in the final month), by two games and finishing 3rd overall. The Brutes will be facing the Beisbol Birds (AC Central winner, overall 9th) for the division series. The Force won largely on the long ball (2nd HR overall) and some exemplary starts from Sixto Sanchez and Claude Passeau. Top Hitters: Ketel Marte 21HR 5.4WAR Ronald Acuna, Jr. 31HR 5.3WAR Trea Turner 11HR 4.6WAR Fernando Tatis Jr 21HR 3.4WAR Hank Greenberg 27HR 3.4WAR Michael Conforto 22HR 2.0WAR Top Arms: Sixto Sanchez 13-8 3.03ERA Claude Passeau 18-8 3.54ERA Jake Odorizzi 15 Hld 4 Sv 3.29 Liam Hendriks 5 Hld 37 Sv 3.49 |
12-09-2019, 01:50 AM | #97 |
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Brute Force in the postseason:
That means the Brutes will be moving on to Gold League next season, regardless of the Silver Series outcome. Vancouver is also proud to announce the signing of rookie 1B Carlos Santana, who has been making news tearing up the AAA pitchers. Also signed for 2056 season, RF Gary Sheffield and LHP Whitey Ford. On a 3-hit gem pitched by Strasburg, Hendriks locked up his 26th consecutive save. Brute Force wins the series four games to two. Post-season awards: Ketel Marte Platinum Stick (CF) Ronald Acuna, Jr. Platinum Stick (LF) Fernando Tatis, Jr. Great Glove (3B) See you next year in Gold League! Feel the power of the Force. |
12-10-2019, 01:36 AM | #99 |
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911
Ish. “Officer, I’d like to report a murder.” Actually, we recovered (a little) after that 0-7 start. :headshake: Baseball. 10-14 for April. We were dead last, of course, but now we’ve moved all the way up to…21st? JFC there are eleven teams under .400!!! Looks like three, maybe four Really Big Guns, but I haven’t looked around all that carefully yet. There might be more. Come on in, we’re serving icy beverages. What’s on television? Last edited by Lemandria; 12-10-2019 at 01:38 AM. |
12-11-2019, 02:28 AM | #100 |
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The chum is in the water and the frenzy has begun. After that horrific start, things haven’t improved. 9-19 for May. Interleague shark cruised through briefly, but our local big boy was busy cruising other waters. So the shark watch continues, but we can’t really blame them. We left the bats at home this season (again). Two (count ’em) two hitters hitting above replacement. Seven regulars hitting under .250! Four pitchers above replacement. They share the blame, too. Relief staff hovering around exhaustion. According to the schedule, the worst is yet to come. Still sixteen games to surrender to the Sharks, most of them in July. Anyway, we’re not (yet) in the Dead Zone, but we’re really close. 5th division, 26th overall, a precious +1/2 game above rel line. June doesn’t look too awful, but July should sink the boat for good. No PP, no prospects of earning any, haven’t drawn any fire from tourney decks. We might score a Lenny Dykhead from collecting, but he won’t help us significantly–too little, too late. Several other meaningless collections pending, but no escape plan has presented itself yet. Odds of winning useful talent via tournaments is infinitesimal. Morale is low, New Orleans fans. You need a new General Manager. Or some kind of miracle. And you lazy overpaid veteran athletes need to grab a bat and hit something with it. NOW. |
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