Strangeverse

[pauwoo]

Los Angeles Lakers (11-4, .733, 1st NL West) @ Montreal Impact (8-6, .571, 2nd NL East)
We’ll continue our Canadian tour in Montreal before heading south into the lower 48 where we’ll get our first peek at Pittsburgh who hasn’t looked the same without Voorhis holding court. The Impact offense is humming already even though they haven’t even dropped it into 4th gear as Rex Engelstad has yet to look comfortable (.214/0/4)… when he starts to come around, though, he’ll join Harlem Peterson (who is on fire) and Austin Rollins to form as fearsome a triumvirate as we have in the Majors. Austin is off to a solid start for his new club and has already endeared himself to the Montreal fanbase, while Kwaku Kwaku (the other former Laker they got from us in the offseason) has struggled to secure solid footing with the club. Their staff, conversely, hasn’t yet gelled – they are 11th in Starters ERA and 9th in pWAR so far but have the talent to course correct sooner rather than later. Montreal is a good club – they got a bit better in the offseason – whose problem is that while they did improve, so did the rest of the NL and, so far, it seems that they may not have improved enough to have a better showing than they did in 2076 when they lost in the Wild Card round to the Vancouver Whitecaps.

Elsewhere: The Carolina Panthers, fueled in part by 1B Pablo Madera’s 8th inning GRAND SLAM, defeated the Toronto Reds (who STILL haven’t called Derek up yet) by a score of 18-2. 7 of Carolina’s runs in the game were unearned… The Minnesota North Stars also experienced an offensive explosion as they put 15 on the San Francisco 49ers at home – the North Stars hit 5 home runs during the game (including one for former Laker, Sammie Fregoso).

16 of 162: Aiden Jensen (1-1, 5.93) @ Max Harrington (0-2, 3.93)
Loss, 4-1. All of Montreal’s runs were scored by way of Solo HR… DJ Wilders, Jax Malagon, and former Lakers, Austin Rollins & Kwaku Kwaku get in on the action to secure the hard-earned victory. Aiden went 8 innings, but gave up all four of the HRs, Hamza hit a double and scored on a Tony Voorhis double, and we turned three double plays – just not enough of that to go around, however, as Montreal digs deep to kill all the good vibes we had in the clubhouse after sweeping the Whitecaps.



Elsewhere: Former Laker, SP Matt Olston, went 8 innings with 0 earned for Minnesota in their 4-0 win over Orlando… SP Josiah Weber, now with the resurgent St. Louis Rams, delivered an 8-inning, 6 hit performance against San Francisco – the Rams won the contest by a score of 2-1… LF Palmer Parker went 3 for 5 with two doubles, a home run, 3 RBI, and 2 runs in a losing effort for the 76ers (they lost a close one to the Whitecaps by a score of 6-5)… And, 1B Oh Hong, of your CITY OF COMPTON RAIDERS, has struggled to readjust to play in the IL – he’s hitting a disappointing .211/0/2 so far in 9 games played.

17 of 162: Michael Brisk (2-1, 1.69) @ Jaxson Mottola (1-0, 4.50)
Win, 3-0. BRISKY! A nice 8-inning, 2-hit shutout for everyone’s favorite Lambo owner… Rajkumar went 3 for 4 with two doubles, a homer, and 3 RBI, Barbaccia picks up his third save, Webster scored twice, and our stout infield unit turned two double plays. 48 degrees with a 23 MPH wind blowing in from left, ~36K frozen fans, and only one home run for the game… Canada is too cold for Baseball in April.



Elsewhere: SP Nacho Valadez went 7.1 innings and only allowed 3 hits in Chicago’s 8-0 win over Dallas, the former Luchador also K’d 7 batsmen… LF Jerry Landowski’s hot streak continues in Phoenix… he went 2 for 4 with a GRAND SLAM in the Suns’ 8-6 win over Brooklyn in the desert… SP Hudson Dorsch, currently plying his trade with your CITY OF COMPTON RAIDERS, spun a CG, 4-hit, shutout in Compton’s 1-0 win over the Mexico City Diablos – we got Dorsch via trade last season when we sent Philip King and Aston Monroe to the New York Jets for Ian Hanan. Hudson is the only piece of that deal I have left…



18 of 162: Dejuan Burns (1-0, 3.72) @ Dylan Bauer (1-1, 5.60)
Loss, 3-2. Hard-fought series win for the Impact – Dejuan gave them the business over 8 innings, but the three he allowed to get across were all the Impact would need to secure the series win at home. Hamza & Cooke scored, RBI for PEPPER, two stole bags (Hamza with #7, Otto with #3), and even a pretty sweet Pepper-Marshburn-Webster double play wasn’t enough to win in the rubber match.



Elsewhere: Former Laker, 1B Ian Hanan, went 2 for 4 with a GRAND SLAM against the San Diego Chargers in Pittsburgh’s 10-3 win at home. Hanan is off to a rip-roaring start for Pittsburgh – the 27-year old Santa Ana native is batting .328 with 1 homer and 13 RBIs so far in 2077. We’ll have an opportunity to experience the wrath of Hanan first-hand as we will be in Pittsburgh next for a 3-game set.

[pauwoo]

Los Angeles Lakers (12-6, .667, 1st NL West) @ Pittsburgh Steelers (10-9, .526, 3rd NL East)
Ton Voorhis spent 7 years in Pittsburgh, 9 if you count the 2 years he spent in Nashville after being drafted 9th overall out of Nebraska. His career highlights so far – a gold glove, two silver sluggers, and 4 all-star appearances – have all come while donning the Pittsburgh kit. He was, to some, the face of that franchise during their run of 6-straight playoff appearances from 2070 – 2075… a hard-working everyman who prioritized winning above all else. The new-look Steelers look about the same as they did in 2075 – capable of making it to the postseason with a #2 ranked offense built to do all the little things and with a staff that will be fierce once they get into a little bit of a groove (this is taking some time, unfortunately, as they are only ranked #8 in the NL so far). For now, I’m buying what the Steelers are selling – sure, SP Cole Guzman has been wildly inconsistent so far with two 5+ run games charged to his account in 4 starts, but he’s a gamer who will settle into a rhythm soon enough. Pittsburgh will have to work for it though – with the changed playoff format, and with Montreal & St. Louis in their division, they’ll need to maintain focus throughout this long slog of a baseball season.

19 of 162: Newton Weiser (1-1, 2.74) @ Tim Kelly (1-1, 2.91)
Win, 5-3. Newton allowed 2 runs over 6 innings, Barbaccia picked up his 4th save over 22 pitches and despite giving up two hits, and Mario Marshburn drove in a timely run and scored twice. Hamza – the speed demon – stole his 8th bag of the season (he’s tied for 2nd for steals in the MLB), Pepper hit an RBI double (and flubbed a grounder for his 2nd error on the season), and Tony Voorhis – the consummate team-first professional that he is – hit a SAC FLY in the top of the 7th that put us up for good.



Elsewhere: LF Bakari Konate, of your CITY OF COMPTON RAIDERS, went 2 for 3 with 2 homers, 5 ribbies, and 2 runs in Compton’s 10-5 win over the Mexico City Diablos. Bakari was a throw-in on our first Pepper trade to Dallas – he has limited upside, but it’s nice to see him putting down some nice lines in Compton. He should develop into an average (read: solid) big-league outfielder in time – I don’t see him making our club, but he will be donning an MLB kit in some nearby city, someday.



20 of 162: Paul Yeager (3-0, 2.70) @ Robby Garrett (2-1, 3.69)
Win, 9-1. CG for Yeager – a 1-run, 8-hitter (with only 2 K’s), a double and a homer for Voorhis (he’s comfortable in this park), and 2 solo jacks for Otto in what would be our most rip-roaringly, rip-roaring performances of the season so far. Three homers as a club (Ethan joins Otto & Tony), 3 RBI for Ethan, 2 each for Otto & Voorhis, and 3 stolen bags for the La La’s (Otto, Ethan, and Owen Mack). Pepper left with an injury – he’ll be DtD for about a week.



Elsewhere: 1B Austin Rollins is headed to the IL… for 4-5 months! Ouch. Torn back muscle. This is a huge blow to the Impact (and probably a gift to the Steelers). He was in a bit of a groove too - .308/2/10 with 9 runs… Also, MIT’s RF Boogie Barnett went 2 for 5 with a 2-run homer, 3 RBI, and a R in the equations 6-5 win over the Seton Hall Pirates. Boogie’s 2-run homer came in the top of the 9th and was enough to get the win. MIT is currently leading the NCAA Independent division with a 22-8 record but the PCU Whooping Cranes are only 2-games back.

21 of 162: Aiden Jensen (1-2, 5.40) @ Cole Guzman (1-2, 5.40)
Loss, 5-4. We would narrowly miss earning our 3rd road sweep of the season as SP Cole Guzman gave us the business over 7 strong innings… Hamza put two hits, a run, and an RBI on the board (plus steal #9), Dom got hit by a pitch (Guzman doesn’t like it when you crowd his plat, it seems), and we got a couple of double plays… what we didn’t get was a win. A frustrating result – played out like the flip of a coin, could’ve gone either way.



A couple of other cool things that happened today: Heathcote Kinton (LAG) hit two out of the park in LA’s 16-9 win over Chicago and C Iglesis Ruiz (LAG) hit his first career GRAND SLAM during the contest… SP Christopher McAllister of the Orlando Solar Bears (Jags affiliate) took a no-hit bid into the 8th inning of their 13-o win over Louisville. 2B Julius Etcheverry broke it up on a well-hit grounder that found it’s way through the defense.

[pauwoo]

Minnesota North Stars (12-10, .545, 2nd NL West) @ Los Angeles Lakers (14-7, .667, 1st)
The Bootleg Timberwolves have been something of a nice surprise so far in 2077 – they won four sets in April, including a sweep against San Francisco and currently sit at 2nd in the NL West tied with Phoenix at 2 ½ games back. Sure, it’s early & it, in the larger scheme of things, means nothing, but let’s just enjoy this run while it lasts – in Shawna’s tenure owning the club, this may be the best start they’ve ever had. What’s most interesting, I suppose, is that they are only 12-10 and have the #2 rated offense in the NL with the #4 rated pitching staff. They currently boast a +22 rDiff, have a 7-2 home record, are 3-1 in extras, and are on a 2-game winning streak… it’s that pesky 5-8 record on the road that’s holding them back. SS Sammie Fregoso (.310/3/14) and 3B Aldo Fernandez (.330/6/13) are driving the offense so far (how long can that last?) and recent addition, SP Norm Rodriquez, is off to a solid start – his 2.68 ERA and 167 ERA+ should be yielding a better record than he has so far (1-2), and if he can continue to display this form, it will in time. That they are performing this way while spending $82 million less than their allocated budget could spell disaster for our division this offseason when big names like Julen Morales & Otto Isaac will, likely, declare free agency – the future of these North Stars could be bright, indeed.

22 of 162: Octavio Cervera (1-2, 5.13) @ Michael Brisk (3-1, 1.23)
Loss, 13-4. Homeruns from Otto & Tony could not save us from a brutal performance by Brisky, who gave up 7 runs in 4.2 innings. Otto hit a 3-run ding dong, Voorhis drove one in and scored one, and Hamza got caught with his hand in the honey pot for the 2nd time this season. Errors by Sandoval and Marshburn didn’t help.



Elsewhere: SP Josh Allen (BRK) earned the NL Pitcher of the Month honor for the National League. The former Wyoming Cowboy is quietly putting his best professional season together so far in 2077. He posted a 4-0 record in April with an ERA of 1.40 and 41 K’s. 1B Tom Franzone (PIT) took home the NL Batter of the Month Award - .372/8/24 with 20 runs… The American League gave out awards to, but – pfft… it’s the American League, who cares? OK… SP Jake Renfer (TOR) took home PoTM (4-0, 2.76 ERA) & RF Jordan Maze (DAL) won for AL Batter of the Month (.420/6/22). Maze is 36-years old – no way he keeps this up, he’s got to be tired...



23 of 162: Norm Rodriquez (1-2, 2.68) @ Dejuan Burns (1-1, 3.62)
Win, 4-1. Dejuan went 8, gave up only 1 earned, Pepper hit his 2nd homer, and Barbaccia picks up his 5th save… and just like that, all is right with the world once more. Otto, Hamza, Dom, and Lonzo all K’d twice, Hamza is in double digits for steals now, and we got a yo-yo DP from Voorhis-Cooke… those are always fun.



Elsewhere: 1B Patricio Sanchez (ORL) hit a GRAND SLAM in the top of the 10th against the St. Louis Rams that proved to be the difference-maker in their 4-3 win (St. Louis put 3 up in the bottom of the frame before CL Radoslav Borovsky was able to shut the door in their ill-fated rally. CF D’Andre Merlot, of your CITY OF COMPTON RAIDERS, hit two bombs in our 8-3 win over the Bengals – D’Andre was our 137th pick in the 2073 draft and, at 25-years old, is starting to run out of time in our development system. And… lastly, the Bush League got underway today with a bang – 1B Micky King (HAG) and LF Billy Hollingsworth (HAG) hit a combined 4 ding dongs in Hagerstown’s 10-8 loss to the Columbia Blowfish… let me get this straight – 4 HRs, 14 hits, 8 runs, and the Loss? Yeah, the BL is wacky.



24 of 162: Adrian Hollyfield (1-2, 3.62) @ Newton Weiser (2-1, 2.79)
Win, 4-3. Adrian Hollyfield, whose sister, coincidentally, was named Holly – as in Holly Hollyfield (had to be tough), didn’t get the win despite giving the North Stars 8 innings of solid work where he went pitch-for-pitch against Weiser. They both went 8 & they both only gave up 3… in the end, this one belongs to PEPPER who hit a run-scoring single in the bottom of the 10th off of RP Heath Valdes to walk the North Stars out of town, onto their bus, to board their airplane, and, ultimately, to fly back to wherever it is that they came from. Buh-bye nao…



Note: I did a thing I almost never do…

• Purchased the contract of CF Ned Saucerman from the Beaumont Bullies of the Bush League.
• Purchased the contract of CF Zach Lavoie from the Nolanville 'Nauts of the Bush League.

Both actually have some promise. But, it is most likely that I threw away $500K x2 on these cats – burning money, it’s what I do (ask Pepper).

[pauwoo]

Los Angeles Lakers (16-8, .667, 1st NL West) @ San Diego Chargers (10-15, .400, 4th NL West)
It’s Burt McElheny and the also-rans in San DEE-AHH-GO – never mind the FACT that he too is an also-ran at 0-4 with a 5.59 ERA. Welcome to paradise – where visiting clubs come to kick back, relax, soak up some rays, and win… easily. That the Chargers have won 10 of the 25 games they’ve played is something of a low-key miracle that owes more to the nonchalance with which their opponents played than it does anything they brought to the table. Only in a game as fickle as this does a team who is ranked dead last in both Offense AND Pitching flex a 10-15 record. They are bad, terrible even, and content to shamble along to the tune of a drummer that can’t keep time as they slog their way through the grind. That’s what living in paradise will do to a man - bootleg island vibes, Bob Marley cranked up to 11, Corona swill with over-ripe limes at the ready, and a belief that, no matter what, everything is going to be alright. Of course, having said all that, we should go 0-4 here - if karma is a bitch, then karma in Paradise is a hungover Bette Midler fronting a Madonna cover band while trying to free her lady marmalade.

25 of 162: Paul Yeager (4-0, 2.31) @ Burt McElheny (0-4, 5.59)
Win, 9-7. Yeager struggled – it seems that hanging out with Brisky on a mission to scout the local talent on the beach did not treat him kindly… 6 earned will be added to his permanent record – but Ferdinand gives us two solid innings and Barbaccia collects his 6th save of the season. Our pitching wasn’t great, it was sufficient… this one, then, was the Ethan and Otto show – Mullens punched out a 3-run jack & Isaac scored twice. Lonzo & Dom both drive in two, Mullens, Mack, and McDonnell each commit an act of brazen robbery, and we completed THREE double plays. All in a days work, my friends… the Golden Caps from Sunset Strip are on something of a run.



Elsewhere: The superbly named, C Chitomi Kojima, of the Hagerstown Hummers went 3 for 4 with a HR and 3 RBI in the Hummers 7-5 loss against Columbia. He gets the highlight here by virtue of having a killer name and hailing from San Diego if for nothing else. Speaking of the Hummers, your boy Adrian Bae, who they did super dirty during their BL Championship run last year, has pitched in 2 games for the Carolina Panthers and is posting a 1.35 ERA with a save, 4 K’s and a 324 ERA+. In other news… the Brooklyn Citizens moved their AAA affiliate from Brentwood to Staten Island and have rebranded the team as the Staten Island Killer Bees. The move is expected to increase revenue for their affiliate program (C.R.E.A.M.)…



26 of 162: Aiden Jensen (1-3, 5.86) @ Teagan Rachel (3-2, 4.30)
Win, 7-3. GRAND SLAM in the top of the 11th for Arnold Webster! Win #2 for Barbaccia! SAC BUNT FOR HAMZA! SAC FLY FOR ISAAC! We’re just firing on all cylinders & kicking back with a Cadillac Margarita catching that cool ocean breeze. This is kind of like a vacation…



Elsewhere: YOU GUYS… all that Rad Taylor needs to get a complete-game shutout against the Gwinnett Stripers at Coolray Field is a cool buzz and some tasty waves. Well, there are no waves in Gwinnett, but they do have a fine assortment of local beers to get you headed towards that buzz… 4 hits, 1 walk allowed… but ZERO RUNS and SEVEN Ks! What’s good?

27 of 162: Michael Brisk (3-2, 2.91) @ Artyom Fadeyev (2-3, 4.78)
Loss, 7-5. Brisky, out here looking like he’s bagged more rays than Bernie in Weekend at Bernie’s, got shelled – 4 runs scored, 9 balls got hit, 4 people got free passes… you get the gist. Not sure what I need to do to keep Brisky from going full beach bum when we come to San Diego… if you have any ideas, let me know. We still managed to earn a chance to win it, BUT then we put Rudolf out there – so, yeah, we couldn’t close it out. Ethan hit his 3rd homer… and yeah, nothing else to highlight really.



28 of 162: Dejuan Burns (2-1, 3.06) @ Mike Augustine (1-1, 8.79)
Win, 5-1. It was bikini night at Coppertone Stadium, my favorite promotion where the Chargers give out 20-thousand bikini tops on a first-come, first-serve basis… don’t get too excited though – there was a group of Banditos (from the local SD Chapter) in the bleachers who decided it would be a good idea to remove their swanky biker gang vests and don the bikini tops instead. You can’t unsee that no matter how nice the rest of the scenery was. Dejuan was clutch (only 1 run allowed), Hamza went 4 for 5 with a triple and two runs, and Pepper drew three free passes. Of note: Voorhis stole his 1st bag of the season (it would later be revealed that he did so because he didn’t want to face the bleachers at first) and Hamza is now up to 13 steals – he’s the 2nd most prolific bag collector in the league right now behind left-fielder Travis Scharmer (CHI) who has 22 – dude’s a bit greedy, I’d say.

[pauwoo]

Los Angeles Lakers (19-9, .679, 1st NL West) @ New York Jets (16-13, .552, 2nd AL East)
The total flight time from San Diego to New York is about 5 hours and 16 minutes with 4 1/2 of those hours being spent in the air... it only sounds pleasant, 4 1/2 hours of uninterrupted work where I can idle my time by reading development reports, free-agent scouting reports, and to look in on players I’d like to add via trade. The problem is that I’m sharing the plane with 28 professional athletes, trainers, additional staff, etc - basically a collection of societal misfits whose weird mixture of self-aggrandizement, self-loathing, and anxiety make the most insecure of all movie stars look like a well-adjusted human being. By the time we land in New York, I had spent the last 4 1/2 hours listening to Otto tell me how a guru he found in the San Bernardino Valley helped him to fine-tune his swing, had helped Brisky pick out a new set of rims for his Lambo, and offered Voorhis my advice on some of the design choices he’d made on a new dining room table he plans to build from reclaimed wood (my advice was, of course, to wait for the offseason). Distractions… so, what do I know about the Jets? They have an average (or slightly below) offense anchored by the 5-time Boyce Award winner, 2B Rich Hamilton, who is still going strong (.343/5/18) at 36-years young for starters. They also have an average pitching staff (or slightly above) that is helmed by the incorrigible Tommy Mathieu, who, despite his advancing age continues to be one of the top hurlers in the game – he’s 4-1 with a 3.78 ERA so far… nothing flashy, just gets it done. And, lastly, I know that they have a new ballcap – and, for my money, it’s much better than the crown they used to wear.

29 of 162: Newton Weiser (2-1, 3.25) @ Tommy Mathieu (4-1, 3.78)
Loss, 6-2. What do you get when you pair a long flight with no game preparation? Embarrassed, that’s what. Newton gave us 6.2 and gave the Jets 5 runs (Ferdinand gave up the sixth) and we got an RBI each from Otto & Dom… and, well, that’s just about all of it. Jet lag had us sleepwalking our way through this one – Mathieu took advantage of our Zombie-like state for 5.2 (1 earned) and Hamilton chewed us up a bit with a 2 for 3, 2-RBI performance. Also… if you are looking for something, anything good – Voorhis and McDonnell (14) stole bags and we got two double plays. So, it’s not like we completely sucked.



Elsewhere: 2B Magmo Noyola, of the LSU Tigers, went 2 for 5 with 2 homers, EIGHT RBI, 3 runs and 2 walks in the Tigers’ 23-12 win over Boston College. The 19-year Cuban national is developing into something nice during his NCAA tenure – might have to keep an eye on this kid, he’s got something snappy. Also, Magmo looks like he's got some scraps, right? Good in the pocket, undoubtedly good to have around if/when a donnybrook breaks out.



30 of 162: Paul Yeager (4-0, 3.25) @ Lenny Rios (2-0, 3.32)
Loss, 6-2. This is nearly a carbon copy (what’s a carbon copy in 2077, anyway?) of the 1st game – Yeager went 7, gave up 5 (Garcia gave up #6 in relief) and Otto & Owen get an RBI each. Not sure we can use jet lag as an excuse two days in a row, so I’ll just go with this: WE KINDA SUCKED AGAIN YOU GUYS! Rich Hamilton, the Laker Killer, went 2 for 4 with an RBI and a run. We didn’t steal any bases. Heck, we barely played baseball… even with all the great bagel options NYC provides – nothing, not even the comfort of a pizza bagel, can make you feel good about losing two in a row…



Elsewhere: Pennsylvania Quaker, C Jeremy Bogus, went 4 for 5 with a double, two jacks, 7 ribbies, 3 runs, and a walk-in their 19-8 win over the Michigan Wolverines. Bogus has a cool name, that much is clear, but what he doesn’t have is an MLB future – he could, MAYBE, play a couple of years as a pro in the Bush League, but that’s iffy. So, this might have been his shining moment – bask in the afterglow, young man, you may never reach this sort of individual athletic peak ever again.



31 of 162: Aiden Jensen (1-3, 5.45) @ Brad Davis (0-2, 4.67)
Win, 6-3. Back in the saddle again (I listened to Classic Rock on my way to work today, this Aerosmith tune came on and I made everyone stopped near me at the intersection uncomfortable while we waited for the light to change -it's a bop as the kids like to say)… Aiden pitches a complete game where he struck out 7 and only allows 3 to plate, Voorhis drives one in, as do Hamza and Ethan, Otto went 1 for 4 with 2 RBI, and Pepper went 3 for 5 with a run scored. TWO SAC FLIES – Otto & Ethan showing some much-needed team spirit! Rajkumar and Mack took one for the team – literally – both were pegged by a pitch… AND we got two double plays. Let’s be honest though, folks, I’m just happy to have avoided a sweep.



A few notes before we head back to LA for a 9-game homestand: The Washington Huskies have a guy playing for them called Mahmoud FakhFakh – a so-so 3rd baseman from Morocco. I know this because he went 2 for 4 with a double, a jack, 7 ribbies, and 2 runs in a 12-6 win over Texas A&M. He’ll be a three and out International League guy most likely – but, hey, his last name is good for a laugh. Our lead in the NL West is only 1 ½ games – Phoenix is making a move and even the MINNESOTA NORTH STARS are in the mix at only 2-games back… Ethan is leading the league in being caught with his hand in the honey pot – dude’s timing has been suspect so far…SP Aiden Jensen is leading the league in HRA by TWO… he likes to live dangerously, hanging big juicy curveballs out there for power hitters on the regular… Bright-note – Tony Voorhis is leading the league in ZR at 6.5, CF Masaharu Watanabe (last years leader in K’s) is second at 5.8 so far… AND we are leading the league in attendance (by about ~10K), so, it’ll be good to get home in front of a raucous crowd as we welcome the Timbers to the City of Angels next.

[BirdWatcher]

Originally Posted by pauwoo

[B] Back in the saddle again (I listened to Classic Rock on my way to work today, this Aerosmith tune came on and I made everyone stopped near me at the intersection uncomfortable while we waited for the light to change -it's a bop as the kids like to say)…

So, wait, it's a bop not a banger?

[pauwoo]

Originally Posted by BirdWatcher

So, wait, it's a bop not a banger?

This is what happens when I try to be hip.

[pauwoo]

Portland Timbers (12-19, .37, 5th AL West) @ Los Angeles Lakers (20-11, .645, 1st NL West)
So far, in 2077, the Timbers look like a collection of stiffs with a couple of actual baseball players sprinkled in for good measure. And, really, that’s what this club has looked like for the last decade with their best season of the bunch coming in 2076 when they posted a .475 winning percentage. Prior to this decade of tumult, Portland had made 9 straight playoff appearances and even managed to win the whole thing twice during that stretch – but that was then, and this is now. In the present, outside of hitting bombs, PDX is bad everywhere… especially in the pitching department where they rank dead last in the AL. Here is a club that boasts a starters ERA of 5.80 and a bullpen ERA of 4.74 – terrible – with an offense that is 9th in OBP, and a defense that has the worst ZR in all the MLB. So, maybe I was wrong at the beginning, maybe they don’t really have any actual baseball players – nope, this is just a loose collection of working stiffs going through the motions like they were playing ball in the Beer & Softball League of some nondescript suburban sanctuary for the Starbucks & North Face set. Easy money, unless, of course, it’s not… still gotta play the games as they say.

32 of 162: Peter Garcia (3-1, 2.68) @ Michael Brisk (3-2, 3.38)
Win, 5-0. Brisky gave us a CG shutout tonight – turns out that the rims I helped him pick out have improved his morale and have allowed him to stay loose out on the mound. HRs for Dom, Otto, and Voorhis… and, in the end, the house wins…



Elsewhere: Former Laker (well, for a few games at least), 1B Archie Imanov, went 3 for 5 with a double, 2 homers, 5 RBI, and 3 runs for the Sounders in their 13-5 win over the Minnesota North Stars. After a down year in 2076, Archie looks to have regained some of the power he displayed prior to us trading for, and ultimately trading away, during the Tricentennial Campaign…

33 of 162: Riley Valentine (0-5, 7.63) @ Dejuan Burns (3-1, 2.74)
Note: Riley Valentine, who I’ve highlighted a couple of times when he was with PDX’s minor league affiliate, the Salem Silverbacks, is a stud… don’t let his line fool you.
Loss, 3-2. Riley pitched well, not well enough to get the win, but it was easily his best performance of 2077, and Dejuan pitched even better (7IP, 6H, 2R, 9K) but, also, didn’t get the win… not when we have Rudolf the Ruiner available to blow another save… he gave up the only run that mattered in the top of the 10th in this one... Another homer for Otto (I guess we should send some more of our guys to this Guru he was telling me about…), a couple of steals (Hamza/Ethan), a couple of errors (Hamza/Pepper), and an all-around poor effort from the Purple & Gold tonight.



Elsewhere: SP Kordell Littles, of your CITY OF COMPTON RAIDERS, went 8-strong with only 2 hits, 1 earned, 4 walks (bummer biscuits), and 11 K’s to lead our affiliate club to a 3-1 victory over the Seattle Supersonics. Kordell is getting there, no doubt, but he still has a ways to go before he makes the rotation on the Big Club… but, make no mistake, this kid is definitely in my future plans… in other news out of the CITY OF COMPTON – Oh Hong is batting only .212 so far in 2077 and seems to have taken a couple of steps back from where he was last season when he earned a temporary assignment on the big club to cover for some injury woes we were experiencing – he’s gonna need to show me something and quick… Oh, and Rad Taylor is 2-3 with a 5.02 ERA – I keep reaching for this kid and he just keeps disappointing me each and every time… some things never change.



34 of 162: Thomas Ortega (0-1, 20.25) @ Newton Weiser (2-2, 3.25)
Win, 10-2. It was the PEPPER show in this one – your boy was out here earning his salary for a change – as he went 2 for 3 with 2 HRs, 5 RBI and 2 runs scored… 2 SBs (Mack/Hamza), 3 double plays, and no errors. Otto hit a double, Voorhis drove one in, and Dom hit one out. So, good all-around effort from the club and a much-needed series win at home.



Elsewhere: The Jacksonville Jaguars beat the Vancouver Whitecaps by a score of 17-7… 2B Telma Tavares went 4 for 5 with a 3-run homer in the win… Our lead over the Phoenix Suns in the NL West remained unchanged, but the North Stars now find themselves a full 3 games off of our pace… We’ll welcome the last place Vancouver Whitecaps to town for a 3-game set next, they are basically a bad knock-off of the Portland Timbers with less talent and uglier uniforms.

[pauwoo]

If I were to give any advice to a young up & coming GM, it would be to remove all emotion from your decision-making process. This, of course, is not advice that I would follow, but it seems like the right thing to say...

Los Angeles and Houston announced some roster changes today as the Lakers acquired 24-year-old minor league LHP Toni Cartwright and 24-year-old minor league LHP Matthew Jeon from the Dynamo in exchange for 30-year-old RHP Rudolf Caldwell. Representatives from both teams say they are pleased with the deal.

This year Caldwell has 10 relief appearances with 1 save, 0-3 season record and a 3.38 ERA. He has hurled 13.1 innings, given up 10 hits, struck out 8 and walked 9. Opposing clubs have batted .196 against the Houston reliever. And he sucks at closing out games.



Fare thee well, Rudolf, and don't let the door hit you on your way out...

Side note: Houston also signed Derek Jeter as a free agent... so, their decision making is definitely suspect.

[pauwoo]

Vancouver Whitecaps (12-22, .353, 6th NL West) @ Los Angeles Lakers (22-12, .647, 1st NL West)
After going 81-81 in 2076, making it to the 2nd round of the playoffs, and putting together their 1st non-losing season in 4 years, the Whitecaps have taken one giant leap backward. Their biggest free-agent acquisition of the offseason was the angriest man in baseball, LF Eloy Delando, who they agreed to pay ~$7M per season for 2-years. Sure, that’s not the kind of money that breaks the bank, but it is definitely too much for a perpetually unhappy power hitter who lost his power stroke in 2074 and hasn’t lasted a full season without a significant injury in the last 3 years. A questionable move made by a club with a questionable desire to win, and a front office of questionable intelligence. I just don’t get it – sure their owner is an economizer, but he’s hands-off, tolerable, and wants to win… That he expects this collection of athletically challenged “ballplayers” to make the playoffs though, might tell us everything we need to know. He’s senile. That’s got to be it – he’s completely lost touch with reality, has a pair of rose-colored glasses permanently attached to his head, and believes, in his heart of hearts, that this club can do anything they put their minds too. Except they can’t… and he needs to lay off the mushrooms.



35 of 162: Julian Brooks (1-1, 1.57) @ Paul Yeager (4-1, 3.68)
Win, 10-1. 8.2 for Yeager, the one run, unearned, comes courtesy of a Lonzo Gonzo error… 4 RBI’s for Ethan, 3-run ding dong for Otto, Pepper goes 4 for 5 with a HR.

Elsewhere: LF Lennon Davis, who looks like a longshot to ever make the majors, went 5 for 6 with 2 HRs, 5 RBIs, and 4 runs in Cal State Fullerton’s 17-1 victory over the Fordham Rams – Fordham has a good shot to make the tourney, Cal State Fullerton does not… so it’s the little things that help you get up after being laid out like this. The Los Angeles Galaxy blew the doors off of the Dynamo in Houston, winning the ballgame by a score of 14-1 – Former Lakers SP Josiah Kawka & CL Saul Guzman (is it just me or does he look like he was on a weeklong cocaine bender right before they took his team photo?) gave up a combined 9-runs in the loss… Also, Derek was assigned to the Salt Lake Alpines immediately after signing (AND HIT A 2-RUN HOMER in their 6-2 win of the Hartford Whalers)…



36 of 162: Anthony Boswell (1-1, 4.12) @ Aiden Jensen (2-3, 4.95)
Loss, 4-3. Some top of the 9th heroics for Vancouver’s RF Reading Minor whose solo HR was the difference-maker in this one… Otto’s 7-game RBI streak comes to an end, Hamza strikes out 3 times.

Elsewhere: 2B Raymond Haynes, of the Green Bay Packers, hit two 3-run jacks in their 12-1 win over the Jacksonville Jaguars – with the win, the Packers have taken a ½ game lead over the New York Jets in the AL East… this is Haynes’ 2nd year with Green Bay after spending his first 7 seasons in New York with the Jets.



37 of 162: Nick Rich (1-1, 7.57) @ Michael Brisk (4-2, 2.76)
Win, 8-5. We get a less than vintage performance from Brisky – 5 earned – Barbaccia picks up save #7, and Dom hit a GRAND SLAM in the 7th that put us up for good. Hamza swipes his 17th bag…

Elsewhere: SP Merl Crawford (BRK) pitched a complete game shutout against the St. Louis Rams – we traded him to the Citizens in 2076… for Rudolf Caldwell & Archie Imanov – both of whom are no longer with our club… while I like to fancy myself a solid decision-maker, the data says otherwise… Otto won the NL Player of the Week Award and we’re now ranked 3rd in the power ranking just behind Seattle and Pittsburgh. Oh, and Rudolf’s debut with Houston wasn’t a complete disaster – 1 IP, 1 H, 1 BB, and 1 K… he took the Houston fans on something of a journey there – the turbulence associated with the full Rudolf experience is in the mail – of that, I am certain. AND, lastly… some bad news for former Laker Mainstay, Sammie Fregoso (attached)…

[pauwoo]

San Francisco 49ers (15-22, .405, 5th NL West) @ Los Angeles Lakers (24-13, .649, 1st NL West)
For a team that has one of the best, if not the best, pitchers in the game (Landon Sampson – 2076 NL Pacheco Winner), the San Francisco 49ers sure are a terrible baseball club. And when you factor in that they also have one of the top infielders in the game on their roster (Randall Berger – 2074 NL Boyce Rigg winner), that they are this bad is mind-boggling. San Francisco peaked in 2074 – sort of – when they surprised the sporting world by winning the whole thing despite being, at 82-80, the lowest-ranked club to make the playoffs. It’s been all downhill from there – 3 straight losing seasons (counting this one), an 8.3% drop in total attendance, and having the 21st ranked development system tells you everything you need to know about their club. There’s no future in San Francisco, the present is suspect, and the past is so far back in the rearview that it’s hard to believe that they were even there in the first place. It always gives me heartburn when we welcome a doormat to town as we often forget to wipe our feet and end up tripping over it instead…

38 of 162: David Ouwerkerk (0-4, 4.91) @ Dejuan Burns (3-1, 2.72)
Win, 5-2. Dejuan was serviceable over 6.2 innings of work and only allowed 2 runners to score, but it was the 4 walks that brought out the hook – not to worry though as Ferdinand secures the hold and Barbaccia earns his 8th save. 2 RBI & 2 Runs for Ethan, Hamza hit his 10th double, Lonzo hit his first triple of the season, and Ethan swipes two bags… Oh and SAC FLY for Dontrell today – sacrificing his individual stats for the good of the club… My man.



Elsewhere: Seattle got blasted by the LA Galaxy – an 18-3 murder in the park… 1B Gabe Felix (a scrub that plays every 5th or 6th day) finished with 6 RBI and 3B Demario Junior (also a scrub who plays every 5th day or so…) finished with 5 of his own. Pittsburgh’s first baseman, Tom Franzone, hit his 13th homer in a loss to the Brooklyn Citizens – he leads the league currently, with Otto only 2 HRs behind him… An unprecedented five clubs from the NCAA’s Unaffiliated Division have qualified for the tournament - the MIT Equations, PCU Whooping Cranes, University of Alaska Anchorage Seawolves, the Ridgemont Community College Tasty Waves, and the NAU Lumberjacks will all vie for the 2077 Championship.



39 of 162: Jan Hernandez (4-1, 4.36) @ Newton Weiser (3-2, 3.14)
Win, 8-0. Complete game shutout for Newton – his curveball, fastball, slider combination was too much for the 49ers to handle as they only managed to get two total hits during the game. Ethan hit a 3-run bomb, Otto & Pepper hit balls out, and we also hit 3 doubles… so, while we were firing on all cylinders the San Francisco 49ers couldn’t get their motor to turn over. This is what’s supposed to happen when a doormat comes to town – an opportunity for a sweep tomorrow…if we can secure it, then it would be our 3rd of the season.



Elsewhere: Listen, as much as I want to highlight the fact that SS Heathcote Kinton and his Rodeo Clown heart hit THREE HOMERS in the Galaxy’s 8-5 triumph over Seattle, AND as much as I want to call out that his game score of 94 is good enough to rate as the 4th best single-game performance so far in 2077… I won’t… BECAUSE we have bigger things to talk about. YOUR BOY, RF Jules Winfield, put his 3rd homer of the year out of the park in Brooklyn’s 2-1 win over the Pittsburgh Steelers – it came in the bottom of the 5th, with 2 down, and in a tight 1-1 contest – KA-POW! 424ft of funk for the win. It’s always nice to see Jules get some playing time and it’s even better when he does something with the opportunity. Long live Jules Winfield.



40 of 162: Pascal Paiz (2-2, 5.61) @ Paul Yeager (5-1, 3.15)
Win, 11-0. Two straight shutouts – this one requires Yeager and Sandoval to bring it home – and two straight offensive explosions… Ethan went 3 for 4 with a double, 2 jacks, 6 RBI, and 2 runs… Voorhis hit a 3-run ding dong, and Marshburn hit a 2-run triple. Great all-around performance for our club and we secure our 3rd sweep of the season… still, just 2 ½ up on Phoenix though (they’ve beat the North Stars three straight times with one game left of their 4-game series).



A few notes… Derek Jeter is batting .192 in 28 plate appearances for the Salt Lake Alpines – I think he’s done, you guys. OH Hong is hitting .225 in Compton – the struggle is real... he’s on the developmental hamster wheel and I’m starting to worry about the guy… Rad Taylor improved his ERA to 4.41 after going 6 innings against the Austin Grackles where he only allowed one run to the plate, kinda cool I guess… Adrian Bae has posted a 0.90 ERA in 10 innings of work in relief for the Carolina Panthers – nice to see him back in the show, he deserves it… the La La’s, in a bizarre set of scheduling circumstances, will be heading to St. Louis for a quick 3-game set before returning to LA for another 9-game stretch at home.

[pauwoo]

Los Angeles Lakers (27-13, .675, 1st NL West) @ St. Louis Rams (24-15, .615, 1st NL East)
SP Josiah Weber is Ronin – roaming the earth in search of a championship ring, loaning out his services to the highest bidder provided that they share the same goal of winning it all. And, let it be known that, St. Louis intends to win it all… 1st in Runs Against and Starters ERA, and tied for 1st in ZR – the Rams have paired a talented staff with a resolute defensive unit. Offensively, they leave a bit to be desired, but they are serviceable (or maybe a bit better) and are 5th in AVG and Runs Scored… AND it’s working – they are 1st in the NL East (only leading by ½ a game, but still…), have a +55 rDiff, and are coming off a sweep over the Philadelphia 76ers. A tough quickie of a road-set in St. Louis…

41 of 162: Aiden Jensen (2-4, 4.53) @ Josiah Weber (4-2, 3.16)
Win, 12-7. We extend our winning streak to 5 games – Ethan hit a double, a homer, and drove in 5 runs, and Hamza hit a triple, brought one in, and scored twice. Barbaccia gets his 9th save. We hung 6 on Josiah Weber…



Sidenote: Former Laker, SP Josiah Kawka’s return to form continues… CG 4-hitter over the New York Jets, 2-0 win for the Dynamo… UAA, MIT, NAU, and Ridgemont Community College have each advanced to the 2nd round of the NCAA tournament…



42 of 162: Michael Brisk (4-2, 3.42) @ Trev Anderson (4-1, 2.43)
Loss, 6-1. Brisky gave up 5 earned, Jonah Dove drove in three runs, we only manage to get 4 total hits.



43 of 162: Dejuan Burns (4-1, 2.72) @ Dimitri Pimentel (4-3, 3.19)
Loss, 6-0. No shame in losing a set to St. Louis – still sucks though. Pimentel pitched a near-masterpiece over 8 shutout innings, only 4 hits again for the La La’s, and Jonah Dove drives in another two runs in this one.



Sidenote: Phoenix, after dismantling the Pittsburgh Steelers by a score of 20-5, is now only a single game back in the NL West. The Suns hit FIVE homers in the win – they’ve been hangin’ tough like NKOTB... we need to put some distance on them. Heathcote Kinton (LAG – AL) & Jacob Wells (PHX – NL) took home player of the week honors… We now lead the weekly power rank and are only .2 points above the LA Galaxy – the City of Angels is running this thing.

[pauwoo]

Philadelphia 76ers (17-26, .395, 6th NL East) @ Los Angeles Lakers (28-15, .651, 1st NL West)
After going all-in on an attempt to capture the tricentennial championship, the Philadelphia 76ers have, after failing to do so, dumped all the salary that they could and are in the midst of the early stages of what can only be described as a tanking effort. At 11th in Runs Scored, OBP, Starters ERA, and Defensive Efficiency – Philadelphia has found a way to be bad nearly everywhere – they’ve left nary a stone unturned in their quest for terribleness. Except one – they still have CF Palmer Parker and will be, most likely, holding him hostage until 2080, when his current contract expires… never the type to complain through the media, it seems that some of Parker’s prime years will likely be wasted as he toils for a club with no desire to win in the short (or medium) term. But, given their 22.9% drop in attendance, it’s unlikely that there will be enough people at the park to notice begging the question, “if a superstar is stuck floundering for a moribund franchise in a half-empty stadium, does it make a sound?”.

44 of 162: Lachlan Langdale (1-4, 8.37) @ Paul Yeager (6-1, 2.83)
Win, 7-2. Yeager went the distance in a 2-run, 6 hit effort, Otto hit HR #13, Dom hit a 3-run bomb in the bottom of the 6th, and Ethan & Hamza both stole a bag…



45 of 162: Nat Millard (1-4, 6.60) @ Newton Weiser (4-2, 2.67)
Win, 3-1. Newton gives us 8 solid innings and only allowed a single run, Barbaccia picked up his 10th save on 22 pitches (it was a rough one – but he got himself out of the jam), Otto went 3 for 4 with a 2-run double, and Hamza hit a SAC BUNT!



Elsewhere: OH HONG of your CITY OF COMPTON RAIDERS went 3 for 4 with a double, a homer, 4 ribbies, and 3 runs in their 11-5 win over the Columbus Blue Jackets. AND, Rad Taylor picked up the win after pitching 6 innings where he allowed 4 runs – so, yeah, not the best outing… but let us give the young man some love for doing enough to help his club secure the W. Also… the St, John’s Red Storm will meet the Vanderbilt Commodores in the NCAA Final game – the smart money is on Vandy.



46 of 162: Vin Uhlman (3-3, 4.55) @ Aiden Jensen (3-4, 4.87)
Win, 3-1. SWEEP! Aiden went 8 innings and gave up only one earned, and Tony Voorhis hit a 2-run double in the tight closeout game to help secure our 4th sweep of the season…Fun Fact: we now have 2 road sweeps and 2 home sweeps – we are an equal opportunity dominator.



Elsewhere: The Phoenix Suns lost their home series against the St. Louis Rams and, as a result, are now a full three games off of our pace… the New York Jets have opened up a 4 ½ game lead over the Green Bay Packers in the AL East Division… they’ve been led by 5-time Boyce Award winner, 2B Rich Hamilton, who, at 36-years old, is quietly putting together one of his best campaigns. The crusty vet is hitting .373 with 9 homers and 31 RBI so far and is trending to a 9.0 WAR (which, if you are counting, is 2x the WAR he put up in 2076).

[pauwoo]

Brooklyn Citizens (26-21, .553, 3rd NL East) @ Los Angeles Lakers (31-15, .674, 1st NL West)
When we last saw the Citizens, in Brooklyn, they were just coming off of a 5-1 start - we’d get the sweep in their park, our first of the season, but since then Brooklyn has been solid. Still making their living off of Pitching and Defense, the Citizens have acquitted themselves quite nicely and have amassed a respectable 26-21 record despite fielding an offense that knows more about a swing & a miss then they do about providing any kind of run support. Josh Allen continues to dominate – he’s put together a 7-1 ERA with a 2.94 ERA and already has 70 K’s to his name. He came into the MLB with a lot of hype on his name and he’s surely had his struggles, but if his early work in 2077 is any indication, the former Cowboy is finally turning the proverbial corner in his 10th Major League campaign at the tender age of 30-years old. It would be nice to see him keep it up – at this rate he could win some hardware for his individual effort when this season is in the books.

47 of 162: Josh Allen (7-1, 2.94) @ Michael Brisk (4-3, 3.84)
Win, 3-1. Allen was good but Brisky was better – 7 innings and 2 earned to Josh’s 6 & 3… 12th save for Barbaccia, and RBIs for Voorhis, Pepper, and Webster… Hamza hit his 11th double as well – he now has 11 doubles, 5 triples (where he leads the majors so far), and 1 homer.



Elsewhere: LF Otis Murray, the Orlando City transplant, recorded his 2000th (and 2001st) hit today against the Phoenix Suns – he has a lifetime average of .294 with 2001 hits, 350 doubles, 45 triples, 125 jacks, 869 ribbies, and 1079 runs… pretty cool. But, you know what’s even cooler? He did it in a 9-7 win over our division rival Phoenix Suns who are now a full 4 games off the pace in the NL West. Also… St. Johns beat Vandy to win the NCAA Championship – so much for my ‘smart money’ comment.



48 of 162: Dontrell McNeil (6-3, 2.83) @ Dejuan Burns (4-2, 3.02)
Loss, 5-3. Brooklyn scored 3 in the 8th to steal this one from us – a good effort by Dejuan, just not good enough. Ferdinand Loving gave up three runs in relief – he’s just not adapting to the relief role, it may be close to decision time with him… Pepper & Voorhis with a GIDP each, Arnold Webster gets caught stealing, and everyone else did nothing of note. Our fans deserve better than this – a loss is okay, a loss coupled with a complete lack of effort? That’s no Bueno.



Elsewhere: For the first time in that last two seasons, Otto Isaac is NOT the leading vote-getter in the early All-Star polls… that honor goes to Pittsburgh’s Tom Franzone who is leading all vote-getters at 415K votes so far… dude’s a stud, to be sure, but, it is a bit surprising to see a DH leading even if it is only the first voting update.

49 of 162: Lee Trost (0-3, 4.66) @ Paul Yeager (7-1, 2.74)
Win, 5-1. We’ll take the series win – could be worse after all… Yeager allows one run and K’d 6, Pepper hit a 3-run bomb, Voorhis drove in a run, Hamza jacked his 20th bag, and Loving was able to shake off yesterday’s performance to close out the show on 10 pitches – he is responsible for the last 4 outs in this one. Good stuff out of the 2073 Pacheco winner…



Notes: Back to a 3-game lead over the Suns… bummer. Dropped to 2nd in the Weekly Power Ranking (also a bummer) – NYJ took the top spot, St. Louis is 3rd, Phoenix 4th, and the LA Galaxy are now 5th… Otto is now 3rd in the HR race behind Franzone (17) & Verne Morey of Dallas (14)… Wait, what? Who is Verne Morey… Mr. Boogie… LF Verne Morey is, as it turns out, a low level MLBer with solid HR power and an ability to avoid striking out, but not much else – this is his, or will be his, 2nd full season in the majors with the Cowboys… he hit 27 homers last season, so the kid does have a little bit of pop – I’ll have to keep my eye on this cat.

[pauwoo]

Montreal Impact (26-23, .531, 4th NL East) @ Los Angeles Lakers (33-16, .673, 1st NL West)
Montreal’s First Baseman, Austin Rollins, is out for 3 months with a torn back muscle – putting aside how painful that must be for him, it’s, perhaps, even more painful for the impact – Austin is not their top guy – that designation goes to C Rex Engelstad – and he’s not even their 2nd best guy (that’d be LF Harlem Peterson), he’s their glue guy. The guy that makes it all work like a well-oiled machine, the guy whose presence means that your opposition can’t just pitch around your top-flight guys, and the guy that keeps the clubhouse loose. Without him, their good offense is looking pretty pedestrian and is currently ranked no better than 7th anywhere. And when you pair a pedestrian offense with a ho-hum starting rotation you get average results… At 26-23 the Montreal Impact are a good club that isn’t going to strike fear into the heart of their opponents – no, there’s nothing especially scary about this club… it’s too bad, if all their pieces were healthy, they’d have to be considered one of the favorites coming out of the NL East. Instead, they’re just another mid-table club playing a non-descript vanilla brand of baseball… in 2077 Canada’s greatest exports are Maple Syrup, Comedians, and a brand of baseball that is more sleep-aid than compelling.

50 of 162: Mikhail Poppen (3-3, 7.77) @ Newton Weiser (5-2, 2.49)
Loss, 6-3. We wasted a good effort from Weiser by virtue of providing no run support… Otto & Marshburn drive in our only (earned) runs, HR #14 for Isaac, Pepper hits his 12th double, and we stranded 8 base runners.



51 of 162: Max Harrington (2-4, 4.29) @ Aiden Jensen (4-4, 4.41)
Loss, 4-1. Harrington was masterful – 8 IP, 3 H, 1 ER, 7 K’s – and Kwaku Kwaku hit a 3-run homer and was, ultimately, responsible for all 4 of Montreal’s runs… Hamza hit his 2nd HR of the year… AND, well, that’s just about it from the La La’s. Stolen bag for Otto… he also got hit by a pitch, didn’t leave the game though. It seems that our fragile little flower is all growns up…



Elsewhere: Brooklyn’s Merl Crawford pitched a CG shutout in their 3-0 win over PHOENIX – the former Laker struck out 7 during the appearance. SP Howard Min, of the Columbus Bluejackets, went TWELVE shutout innings with 11 K’s in a 1-0 loss to the Cincinnati Bengals – two things: 1- that’s not a line you see every day, and 2 – the Chicago Fire brass should fire the Manager of their AAA club for leaving this kid out there for 12 innings.



52 of 162: Jaxson Mottola (3-5, 4.36) @ Michael Brisk (5-3, 3.70)
Win, 8-3. Well, we avoided the sweep, and in dominating fashion no less… Brisky went 7 and gave up 3, Voorhis scored twice and drove one in, and we got homers from Otto & Webster. BUT THAT’S NOT ALL… SAC FLY for Dontrell Gay, 3 bags swiped clean (Lonzo Gonzo, Mack, and Gay), and a crisp looking double play… Mack-McDonnell-Webster.



Notes: Tough to lose a series at home, but, on the Brightside (I guess), we are about to head out on a 6-game road trip with stops in Minneapolis and Phoenix… Speaking of the Suns, our lead in the NL West is currently at 3 games – getting tired of these guys just hanging around.

[pauwoo]

Los Angeles Lakers (34-18, .654, 1st NL West) @ Minnesota North Stars (25-28, .472, 3rd NL West)
After shooting out of a cannon to start the 2077 season, and despite having a tip-top offense (1st in AVG & SB’s, 2nd in OPS, WAR, and wOBA), the Minnesota North Stars have come back down to earth. This is because Shawna’s brain trust simply does not know how to build a complete team – while they busied themselves stocking the offense’s shelves, they forgot to get their canning done for winter and as a result their pantry is completely devoid of a starting rotation (11th) and they don’t even have the staples to construct a halfway decent pen (9th). You see, Minnesota’s GM, Christopher Coyne, is no doomsday prepper – he lacks the imagination required to meticulously plan out a route of escape and the logistics of a well-stocked home base – so, in the event of a zombie apocalypse, or say a baseball season, he should not be on your shortlist of people to look to in your time of need. In fact, he is to be avoided at all costs – seems like the kind of dude that would set up one of those cult-like post-apocalyptic societies based on fear, manipulation, and medieval barter economics.

53 of 162: Dejuan Burns (4-3, 3.00) @ Norm Rodriquez (4-5, 4.69)
Loss, 7-0. Wow. Murked in Minnesota – Norm Rodriquez, el cartero, places a CG shutout with 7 K’s at our feet & Dejuan can’t make it out of the 2nd inning – dude got shelled, teed off on, and, just, generally mistreated by the North Stars offense. Ethan, Oh Hong (guess who’s back, back again…), and Dom each strikeout twice, Hamza got 2 steals, and we sucked. Bad. We sucked really, really bad.





Elsewhere: 2B Telma Tavares (JAX) went 4 for 6 with a double, a GRAND SLAM, and 2 runs in the Jags 10-3 win over the New York Jets… 3B Lance Tabor (SEA) went 3 for 4 with 2 jacks, 5 RBI, and 2 runs in Seattle’s 8-5 win over Houston… Note: Life of the Party Saul Guzman & Rudolf the Ruiner gave up 3 runs each in the loss for Houston… RF Lang Hammer, of your CITY OF COMPTON RAIDERS, went 3 for 3 with a double, TWO HOMERS, 4 RBI, and 3 runs in Compton’s 5-0 win over the Newport Beach Gypsies – Lang, picked up as a throw-in piece on one of my PEPPER trades (more for his name than any value add), will kick it in and around Compton for a year or two before he, inevitably, takes his rightful place on a Bush League roster… he made me proud today, though. Maybe, if we go up on Phoenix by double digits on the table, I’ll give him a cup of coffee when the rosters expand. Decaf though, let's not get crazy.



Note: WE NOW INTERRUPT OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAMMING FOR THE 2077 AMATEUR DRAFT. Um, we have the 20th pick, so please temper your expectations, I expect to be making my selections based on how cool the players facegen looks or how funny I think their name is no later than the 3rd round…

[pauwoo]

Note: At the beginning of the 2077 Campaign I changed the min/max age of my NCAA feeder from 18/21 to 17/20… Wanted to bring players in a little earlier. I also modified the player creation min/max from 18/18 to 17/18… hoping that this will help avoid a 1-year gap in my draft class.

Top 5 Picks:

1. Houston Dynamo – SP Ardolph Goldberg (Tennessee Volunteers; 25/67) – Projects to have killer “stuff”, three good to great pitches, and above-average control. Movement is a little low… definitely wouldn’t have been my 1st pick. Low adaptability, work ethic, and intelligence – sort of explains why Houston was willing to take Rudolf the Ruiner off of my hands (even if they only gave up a couple of minor league scrubs to get him).
2. Dallas Cowboys – SS Jaylen Payton (California Golden Bears; 21/66) – Another curious choice… Great base runner, legendary infield range, but nothing else that really pops out. He’s either solid or projects to be solid in all the ‘basic batting ratings’.
3. Orlando City – SP Myeong-Han Gang (Washington State; 20/68) – Stuff, Movement, and Control all project to where you want them to be, but he has a ways to go to get there. Rated low for intelligence, which makes sense given that he graduated from WSU with a degree in communications. Power pitcher with high K potential… Killer mustache as well, if I’m not mistaking, he’s flexing the ‘Wyatt Earp Dirty’ style.
4. Minnesota North Stars – SP Johndale Bill (New Mexico Lobos; 20/60) – The man with THREE first names… you don’t see that every day. Here’s a guy who projects to be somebody in the Pros. He’s a sidearm guy with average velo. Might be a better K guy than Gang… I think that the North Stars did good work here.
5. St. Louis Rams – C Mo Brokaw (St. Marys Gaels; 20/68) – Not sure that he is the best catcher in a draft class that has 4 who look like they have a big-league career in their future… great behind the plate, high intelligence, low work ethic, I don’t think his bat will be worth much but his catching ability should compensate. Love his name...

And the La La’s select…

• SP Jack St. Germain (20yo; Loyola Marymount; 20/56) – Projects as a borderline starter, possesses a mean curveball that looks like it has room to add some nastiness in there too, stuff potential is off the charts, movement is meh, control will eventually be good (I hope)… rates low on the facegen/name ratings, can’t lay down a sacrifice bunt to save his life (shouldn’t ever have to consider we are all DH in the MLB). Threw a bone to my scouting director on this one… not sure how I feel about it.
• C Monty Williams (21yo, Texas Longhorns; 20/56) – Good eye potential, great HR Power potential, solid intelligence and work ethic, has a blonde mustache, good behind the plate, a disaster on the base paths, he’s got a shot at backing DOM up in a few years (or starting if Dom has moved on to greener pastures). He’ll be “extremely hard” to sign.
• CF Rake Lewis (21yo; Maryland Terrapins; 20/43) – Left-handed, so-so power bat with good discipline at the plate, great range and fielding prowess, a gym rat who works out relentlessly, good baserunning abilities… unfortunate first name, didn’t hit a single homer in 47 collegiate games last season.
• 3B Mick Cappella (21yo; Arizona State; 20/40) – Passed the name test, looks to develop a little bit of pop, was arrested three times on UIP charges while with the Sun Devils (never convicted), good work ethic, isn’t greedy, he’ll be fun to have around in Compton – not much of a ballplayer though…
• 3B Tim Thorp (20yo; Nebraska; 20/39) – Classic midwestern dude… quality aims, sets a good example, ambitious without being unrealistic… drafted to help keep the Compton clubhouse in check… good range, good arm, so-so stick.

All filler, no killers list…
SP Bob Dauncey (21yo; Seton Hall) – He’s Welsh, so, if nothing else, his accent should be pretty cool. Finesse guy with good stuff and poor control – his fastball & slider look like they could be fierce one day… another hard worker, putting in the effort to stay off the dole. Seems like he'd be fun at a party and good in the pocket should some fisticuffs break out. He’ll be fun to have around for a while – I’ll definitely be following his Bush League career one day. Seems like the kind of guy the team will talk about for years - not for his on-field achievements but for his off-field exploits. "Remeber that time Bobby D (insert something outlandish here)? I wonder where that guy is these days...".



2077 Season (6/4 – 6/6, Cont.)
54 of 162: Paul Yeager (8-1, 2.59) @ Taylor Pushkin (0-0, 3.56)
Win, 7-3. Six innings for Yeager with 6 hits and 6 K’s – could mean that trouble is brewing in paradise, dunno, hard to say… Voorhis 2 for 4 with an RBI and 2 runs, 2 RBIs & 2 walks for Otto, recent call-up 2B Mark Messick stole his 1st bag of the season… didn’t mention it at the time but I sent Marshburn & Webster to Compton and brought Oh Hong and Mark Messick up.



55 of 162: Newton Weiser (5-3, 2.59) @ Matt Olston (1-8, 6.06)
Win, 7-4. Voorhis went gonzo – 4 for 5, a double, a homer, 3 ribbies, and 3 runs… Newton was solid, got the W… Barbaccia with his 13th act of heroism… Otto with 2 RBIs… Hong walked in his only AB – patience young grasshopper… Lonzo Gonzo with a SAC FLY… two balls got by Dom (maybe he can feel those catchers I drafted breathing down his neck already…



We’re back to the top spot on the Weekly Power Ranking & Phoenix has moved up the #2… our 3-game set with them will be Nationally Televised on Super Mega Sports TV. We have Brisky set to go in the 3rd game – expect him to be sufficiently done up for his turn in the lineup.

A look at the NL... West is looking pretty weak after the La La's and Phoenix...

[pauwoo]

Los Angeles Lakers (36-19, .655, 1st NL West) @ Phoenix Suns (35-22, .614, 2nd NL West)
The Burnt Orange & Eggplant Purple, outside of the playoffs, have been a problem during my tenure with the La La’s. Well, maybe more of an annoyance given that their regular-season dominance over our club hasn’t spilled into the playoffs. In 2077, our battle for the NL West division will likely come down to the wire with this just being the opening salvo of a long and arduous journey filled with treachery, hard slides, and even a pickle or two. We’ve not successfully posted a winning record against these guys in the regular season over the last two campaigns - an alarmingly poor stat if I’ve ever seen one - and doing so won’t get any easier in ‘77. Their offense, anchored by one of the best in the game (Ray Ray), is potent, an explosive cocktail of star power, swagger, and skill - they rank 1st in the NL at the plate and never seem to be more than a swing or two out of it. Their pitching has been a different story – their rotation has had its struggles with some of their top guys not quite bringing their A-game yet… but, they’re a capable unit that is prone to periods of sustained dominance and with an ability to rise to the occasion when necessary. They haven’t been the dominant force we thought they would be but they have been moving in that direction here lately and will look to turn that corner during this 4-game home series against us. We seem to be the foil that brings out the best in the Suns – always a concern when we visit the desert. Also – their starting 2nd baseman is named Zippo Hollins, which, may be one of the top three best names in all of baseball.

Top 3 2B Based on Given Name:

1. Zippo Hollins (PHX) – Zippo is just such a great name… legendary, unforgettable, and fun.
2. Heathcote Kinton (LAG) – Heathcote has something snappy – sounds old-timey & serious, but with an undercurrent of troublemaker thrown in to spice it up. The name Heathcote gives off some Eddie Haskell vibes – the instigator who never gets in trouble because every one’s mom fancies him.
3. Owen Mack (LAL) – O-Mack… great name – O-Mack just sounds like a stud. The nickname possibilities are nearly endless and anyone named Owen Mack always gets an invite to the party.

56 of 162: Aiden Jensen (4-5, 4.48) @ Julen Morales (5-2, 3.03)
Win, 7-4. Solid effort from Jensen (all four were charged to his account though…), 3-run blast from OH HONG (4 total RBIs too), Barbaccia earns his 14th save, 3 total homers for the La La’s (Ethan & Messick get in on the fun), and Hamza swipes his 23rd.



57 of 162: Michael Brisk (6-3, 3.72) @ Cam Murphy (3-4, 4.60)
Loss, 6-4. 6 earned ones charged to Brisky, only 4 for Cam… OH HONG, PEPPER, and O-MACK go a combined 0 for 12, 3 hits for Hamza, 2 for Ethan (he also drove in three runs), and Hamza stole #24 and also got caught with his hand in the honeypot for the 7th time. Dude’s a hound & often times is a poor decision-maker – not always the best combination…



58 of 162: Dejuan Burns (4-4, 3.57) @ Patrick Keith (5-3, 5.50)
Win, 12-2. Dontrell Gay went 4 for 6 with a 2-run blast, Otto drove in 3 and hit a double, and Dejaun allows only a single run in 7 innings of work. 4 doubles as a team, big day for Lonzo Gonzo ( 4 for 5 with 2 ribbies), TWO SAC FLIES (Otto & PEPPER), and Messick stole second for the second time this year. Bad news for Phoenix… Patrick Keith was injured while pitching in the 4th. He’s basically the human equivalent of peanut brittle.



59 of 162: Paul Yeager (9-1, 2.72) @ Del Miller (6-4, 4.50)
Loss, 7-3. We’ll have to settle for the series split… ZIPPO hit a 2-run homer, Ray Ray went 3 for 4 with an RBI (quiet series for him, relay), and Homer Wingard went 2 for 4 with a 2-run shot – the bad guys got their revenge. Yeager takes his second loss and allows 5 earned runs – Phoenix would chase him out of there in only 3.2 innings… more bad news for Phoenix tho – Del Miller was injured while pitching… he lasted only a single batter and 19 total pitches before they had to yank him.



Elsewhere: Palmer Parker (PHI) went 3 for 4 with a 3-run homer (and 6 total RBIs) in Philly’s 10-4 win over Montreal… SP Trevor Dotson of your CITY OF COMPTON RAIDERS struck out 11 batters in an 8-inning, 3-hit shutout over the Gwinnett Stripers – Compton won the game by a score of 4-0…SP River Hudson, a 17-year old fireballer out of Cloverly, MD, is widely considered the top college recruit to sign this year – he’s committed to the UCLA Bruins and projects to be a top of the rotation guy with incredible stuff, above average movement, and pedestrian control. His slider and changeup look to be the two pitches that will develop into something nasty for the young man.

[pauwoo]

Green Bay Packers (26-34, .433, 6th AL East) @ Los Angeles Lakers (38-21, .644, 1st NL West)
If you’re going to welcome an American League club to your ballpark for some interleague silliness, it might as well be one of their scrub clubs… Green Bay is mired in a semi-prolonged period of baseball funkiness. They went from 1st (in 2075) to worst (in ’76) and are pacing to stay there in 2077. You know you are in trouble if SP Isaiah Zuno is your top pitcher and you know you are in it deep when you have FOUR LEFT FIELDERS on the IL… I’m not convinced that they won’t trot their ball boy out to left field when they come to town at this point. Green Bay has the 7th rated offense and the 10th rated pitching staff, which, in addition to meaning they are terrible, also means that they are not committed to anything other than staying stuck in the middle… too cheap to build a winner and too cowardly to go all-in on a rebuild. They have the 15th ranked development system for Pete’s sake. It’s hard to explain what they are doing with their club – they don’t seem to have a plan and instead have all the makings of a club that is content to live off of the goodwill of a fanbase whose blind loyalty to the Packer cause is the source of envy from every other club in the MLB.

60 of 162: Katsuhiko Kishi (2-1, 0.98) @ Newton Weiser (6-3, 2.84)
Win, 6-1. Green Bay, it should be noted, has now lost 11 straight ballgames. That’s just sad, really. Newton gave the 7-strong shutout innings in the win, Hamza went 3 for 4 with a run, PEPPER hit his 8th longball, Ethan drove one in and scored one of his own, and Hamza stole second on 2 out of 3 attempts. A workmanlike and low-key dominant victory for the La La’s.



61 of 162: Elijah Rizzuto (4-5, 5.86) @ Aiden Jensen (5-5, 4.52)
Loss, 6-5. Rizzuto struck out 7 and allowed only 3 to plate, while a disastrous 4-run 5th did Jensen in – he couldn’t even register a single out in the frame before handing the ball off to Sandoval. Otto finished 3 for 5 with 2 runs and Rajkumar went 2 for 4 with a run of his own… Back-up catcher, Dylan Tucker, managed to drive in 3 of our 5 runs for the game…



62 of 162: John Aivazian (2-6, 5.40) @ Michael Brisk (6-4, 4.08)
Loss, 3-0. Brisky got pulled over in the Lambo before the game – this is news because I had to go bail him out before the game due to the fact that he was, in addition to doing 105 in a 45, driving with a suspended license. He gave us 7 relatively strong innings in this one – only giving up 3 earned runs – but, well, it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t enough because our guys couldn’t be bothered to give him any run support – 8 left on, Dontrelle hit into a double play during our ill-fated rally attempt, and our lone highlight for the 44K in attendance was a Lonzo Gonzo thievery that, upon further review, probably should’ve been called the other way…



Elsewhere: LF Lynden Urmanski hit a GRAND SLAM for St. Louis in their 5-2 win over the Chicago Fire – they got a good effort from the GOAT, the Tom Brady of Strangeverse if you will, Josiah Weber as well – he went 8 innings with 2 earned and 4 K’s. Not vintage, but it’ll have to do… ALSO OF NOTE… when I was loading the international league scores, to see if I could find anything to highlight in the elsewhere section, I saw the name “T-Rex” scroll by… a quick search of the IL players unveiled that it wasn’t just wishful thinking. YOU GUYS… there is a Closer who plays for the Columbus Bluejackets (Chicago’s affiliate) whose name is T-REX STILES… T-REX MF’N STILES!!! He was drafted NINETEENTH in THIS YEARS DRAFT… how did I miss this?!? The former Texas Longhorn has some promise too – looks like he’ll eventually have killer stuff with a diabolical cutter in the future. He will be mine, mark my words… Mustache needs work tho.

[BirdWatcher]

Originally Posted by pauwoo

This is what happens when I try to be hip.

Hey, I'm 54 years old and have a long, curly white beard (well, technically maybe goatee really) that makes me look like some aging hipster doofus (to quote Seinfeld) version of Gandalf/Dumbledore (I'm convinced that is why teens tend to trust me), so I'm the last one to call anyone out regarding hipness.

But I'm also a big music aficionado (and not stuck in the past like a great many of my contemporaries) so I tend to hear/read these types of terms. My question was only partly tongue-in-cheek. It might be a bop, or a banger. Or, hey, for some people it might be more a jam.