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10-29-2019, 02:24 AM | #41 |
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New Season, New Hopes - Apr2
Well. Diamond pitching is pretty much as scary as I’d imagined, but so far the guys are hitting all right. Maybe we just haven’t met the league Rock Crushers yet.
15-9 for April, .625. Offensive Runs Scored, 3rd, Other offensive numbers are 2nd-4th range, mostly. Surprisingly, we’re leading the league in HR (at the moment!!), which leads me to believe we’re over-performing offensively thus far. The Igloo isn’t kind to HR hitters. Defensively Runs Against, 6th. Ouchie. Starter ERA was horribad for a while, but is slowly normalizing. Bullpen’s doing fine. I may need to look around for another Arm for the rotation. We’re leading this division, somehow, 3-way tie for 3rd overall. Rdiff is +1/game, exactly. A good start, fellas. I pessimistically believe we’ll fall back from this, at least a bit. Or maybe we just stumbled into a league with a fair number of new-from-Gold promotions? The FTP pack-only teams are doing well in Iron. Big Tomato is off to a great start, 1st in division and overall. Brute Force is leading their division, and 4th overall. Home Last edited by Lemandria; 10-29-2019 at 08:28 AM. |
10-30-2019, 02:27 AM | #42 |
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Anybody on the bench who can hit these guys?
Wanted: consistent bats.
The pitching is doing just fine. We even got a POTM out of them, the bullpen is on cruise control, and the starter ERA’s have recovered from the post-spring-training pummeling. But the streaky hitting is driving me nuggin futz. Runs scored, we’re headed for the basement again, down to 8th. Cold, cold bats. OBP in the toilet. As expected, the early season over-performance in dingers is returning to normal for the Igloo. Sold another Aroldis Chapman card. It seems to be the only card I ever pull. We hate that guy. All right, so clearly the team doesn’t feel like winning this season, cool cool, we didn’t really expect to. Make me some gate receipts then, fellas? Do something dramatic and flashy to draw in the fans and earn us some yummy PPs. Fellas? Hello? Where did everyone go? |
10-31-2019, 01:02 AM | #43 |
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Throw a Maddux (July 4)
For the month of June: 16-11 (.593)
Offensive output is still declining precipitously, runs scored are down to 12th in NC. OBP 15th. Our offense is in the toilet, too many guys cold as ice, at the same time. Defensive output–well, the pitchers are frankly surprising me. We’re still in it, if we’re in anything, because of the curve balls and change-ups. (Looking at the K’s, it sure ain’t the blazing heat.) Severino has an ERA of 1.03, Dizzy just threw a 92-pitch shutout, Moose is being consistently Moose, Greinke’s off to a solid year. Only Chris Sale is getting beat up, because he’s a lefty (and probably a dirty commie, too.) Take a bow, bullpen, you guys are doing terrific, too. Olson, Pressly, Hendricks, Crain. And a few other guys. Amazingly, we’re still leading the division and 3rd overall. Good pitching wins championships? I dunno, it’s working somehow with this anemic offense, though. Maybe the other teams are full of Incaviglias and Schwarbers, kicking the ball around in the outfields, or something. Time to play some small ball? Bah. Ptui. Closing in on the AS break, don’t think we’re sending many players this year. To the batting cages, position players. Time for you all to take some extra batting practice. Home |
10-31-2019, 11:16 PM | #44 |
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There was an All-Star game?
Offensively, still in the swamp, apparently. Runs Scored 12th.
Pitching & defense, much the same. Runs Against 1st. For the month of July, 15-8 (.625) The Penguins currently lead a weak division, we’re the only team in it with a .500+ record, so we have a 10 1/2 game lead. We clutch to 4th spot overall by our fingernails. Not much else to say about things, really. Weak & inconsistent production out of 2, 5, 6 holes, Dihigo’s not having a career year, nor Bonds. Schedule remaining, looks like Sept is the most dangerous for us. Aug & Oct we should be all right. [Moments are writing that, I look up to see we've lost the first two games in August. Fate is a smart-ass.] Honestly, we’re doing surprisingly well for our first Diamond season. But I’m reaching the “baffled how to improve without a 100k PP windfall” point, the players we need in those weak holes are really, really expensive. You know how expensive the premiere Catchers are. This might be just about as far as we can reasonably progress. Home Last edited by Lemandria; 10-31-2019 at 11:34 PM. |
11-02-2019, 02:30 AM | #45 |
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Morale low, slogging along Sep4
Division 1st, Overall 5th. August was merely bad, teetering on terrible. 12-16 (.429), our first losing month in Diamond. We’re just a hair ahead in a division that’s essentially .500 teams. Magic Number is 23, with 29 games to play. If we clinch at all, it will be late in the season.
The hitters are still sleeping in a freezer, but during August the relief staff was getting shelled regularly. Five men are dragging the New Orleans through this season, and their names are Severino, Greinke, Dean, Mussina, and Sale. Oh, and the defense is still getting in front of baseballs admirably. Just not with their bats. Defense: A- Offense D. That’s a hell of a way to be approaching a playoff run, right guys? Conclusion: our pitchers can play at the Diamond level, our hitters cannot. Looking ahead, the schedule isn’t awful for us, though there’s going to be a painful week or two. Pessimistic Forecast Model says 89 wins. Linear projection says 90. Nearest opponent 82 wins. Yep, if he’s hot for September he can still catch us. Two teams are in range, in fact. We’re going to get hammered in any playoff tree. Our latest email says we’ve clinched a wild card (yay). I would really hate sneaking in the back door by wild card. I would hate worse being promoted up to Perfect (which is still possible). Obviously, we ain’t ready to play in the Mega-whale universe. It’s going to be a lot of batting cage time for you boys during the off season, win or lose. And one or more of you will be replaced with more reliable personnel, I’m just not sure who yet. I’m thinking Arenado has to go (I have the weak Arenado card, not the “perfect” one.) But only if I can upgrade the slot. Sandberg is also a possibility. Or shortstop, or Left field. Lots of PP to upgrade any slot. I don’t want to surrender defense for a stick, only the defense is keeping us in this. Now I know how Lasorda felt all those years, sneaking into a series against the Yankees with a team built on pitching and defense. (Generally speaking, the Yankees would yawn and proceed with the pummeling.) |
11-03-2019, 02:16 AM | #46 |
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Regular season ends
For the first time in club history, the New Orleans Penguins have won their division in Diamond403. The win came very late in the second half of a season that can best be described as an extended slump. For September and October, we were 14-18 (.438), finishing just barely ahead of the Hollywood Knights (mgr: Nicolas), the NCE Wild Card winner. A red-letter day, right? A stunning 87 win season, (.537) every manager’s dream team!!! Well, it is our first Diamond season, at least we didn’t completely wash out and get blown back to Gold (yet). Zack Greinke won the ERA crown, go go Zack. Bonus kippers in your pay envelope. We are impressed with that one. Look ma, we have at least one card that’s performing above expectations. Don’t think a 16-9 season’s going to win any Cy Young awards, tho. For the playoffs, we face the Pack Rats (mgr: Packrats), who we haven’t encountered since May (a single 1-2 series). His team won 99 games, we’re not dripping with confidence. We expect a blowout, in the wrong direction. “Still, ’tis better to try and fail,” or some such platitude. Not happy, hitters. You sucked, pretty much all season. Pitchers, you guys did okay. Home |
11-03-2019, 02:26 AM | #47 |
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Side note
For the first time, all three teams won their divisions. Probably the last time, too, heh. The FTP teams are subject to the luck of the pack draws, the records should diverge quickly.
Vancouver Brute Force demolished all opposition, 117-45. Sacramento Big Tomato had an excellent year, 109-53. New Orleans Penguins limped home, 87-75. |
11-04-2019, 02:20 AM | #48 |
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Just wait til next year! Or later today.
Cesar Cedeno earned series MVP honors, despite playing for the losing team, batting .500 for the series with two triples and a home run. Dizzy Dean recorded the team’s only W decision. The series was not a complete loss–as a division series winner, the Tomato moves on to the Bronze Level for next season. Next year, mighty Brutes. You did Vancouver proud with a truly memorable inaugural season. Last edited by Lemandria; 11-04-2019 at 04:24 AM. |
11-05-2019, 01:55 AM | #49 |
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https://facethecurtain.wordpress.com...nd-new-season/
Odd, vanishing graphics. Hooray, brand new season! How’d we do for April? Well, I can probably answer that with a single image. Really nothing else you can say about it. The starters just got shelled, and shelled again, and shelled again. All five of them, every single one has an ERA of 6+ That kind of beating is just simple brutality. If you paid any attention to last season, you know that our five guys are generally excellent pitchers. It’s not a right hand thing, it’s not a left hand thing, it’s not anything but a good, old-fashioned ass-whuppin. Shelled at home, shelled on the road, shelled by RHB, shelled by LHB. Homers aren’t abnormally high, nor walks. Straight up every bat boy at every ball park is getting base hits. Yep, OBA is over .300 for every starter. Everyone got in on the fun. Your grandma probably got hit three base hits every game. Def eff? Zone rating? Nope, you can’t blame the defense boys, this is all on you. Summon the team surgeon, we’re gonna need five Tommy John surgeries. The bullpen, meanwhile, is again on cruise control. They are not hanging fastballs dead center of the plate–they’re wondering what all the fuss is about. And calling their agents to negotiate bigger contracts. Meanwhile, on the offensive side…meh. Not too bad, I’ve seen it worse. Not too good, we’ve seen it better. Overall 11-15 (.423). We’re ahead of one of the teams in this division! Oof, what kind of year is HE having? In summation, chalk it up as “one of those months,” and wait for the pain to stop. Last edited by Lemandria; 11-05-2019 at 02:02 AM. |
11-06-2019, 04:20 AM | #50 |
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Ticket to Ride
In May, 12-17 (.414). It’s actually getting worse. Oh, the pitching improved, a tiny bit. ERAs down in the 5s now. In protest of this outrage, the batters sat down in the dugouts and refused to come outside. Last in the division, and 25th overall. Nothing I’ve tried is slowing the bleeding at all. I don’t have a huge wad of PPs to buy a fix. Some seasons just smell like rotting fish. Looks like this is one of them. Just ride it out and get used to sucking, looks like we’ll be going that route for a good long while. Prepare for the off-season liquidation and rebuild sale. |
11-07-2019, 03:11 AM | #52 |
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Meh
If we could only get them to have them on the same day now and then, we might win a few. Seriously, there are signs that the evil fog surrounding the starters may be dispersing. We’re up to 10th ranked (two months at 15th) and the ERA’s are climbing up into the 4s. Hitters ’round 10th position, too. So that puts us in the 40th percentile, as far as performance goes. Whoohoo! Not quite crappy enough for relegation? Maybe. We like to slump through September, historically. The Terriers came and went, 2-4 against their Perfect starters, could be worse. Think that’s every game we’ll see from them for on this schedule. They were good dogs, didn't tear up the dugouts too badly. June, 11-14 (.440), but .438 overall, so it was a better-than-average month, as far as this season goes. We’re already selling Wait Til Next Year calendars in the gift shop. |
11-07-2019, 09:24 AM | #53 |
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I always plead with the pooches to be on their best behavior when they visit other ballparks. Sometimes they listen, most times they don't lol
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11-08-2019, 02:40 AM | #54 |
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Think more lonnnng term, it's gonna be a while
Other than that, nothing particularly memorable took place. Starter ERAs in decline again, and I don’t have any other arms to trot to the mound, so….yeah. I honestly don’t believe it’s possible that we’ll finish the year in the black. Nor lose badly enough to retreat a step. Maintain and try to pluck a historic superstar (or ten) out of a card deck. Thus far, nada. Think I’ll head over to Benjiguigui Ballpark and kidnap a couple of guys, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind. Get the windowless van out of the garage, fellas, it’s time to do some late-night talent shopping. Maybe we can black bag an entire pitching staff! |
11-09-2019, 02:39 AM | #55 |
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August Report
We finally accomplished something, a .500 month. 14-14 for August, which is actually our best month of the season!! Overall 60-73 .451. I’m stuck in a division with three (count ’em) three serious PeL contenders. They’re so busy wrecking each other’s records that they barely even notice the Penguin guts on their tire treads. We started pitching a little. We started hitting a little. And somewhere in there, we had an eight-game losing streak. Overall, our miserable numbers are slowly improving, and we’re inching our way out of the Relegation Zone. I think it’s due to the number five guy down there, the only guy in this division with a sob story even worse than ours. All four of them have twice as many years in the trenches (at least) as these new upstarts from New Orleans. Should I be impressed or sad that we’re limping through somehow? Pessimistic Forecast Model™ says 73-74 wins. Regardless of the final outcome, it’s almost certain to be the worst season we’ve ever had. Is it relegation-level worst, or only crap? Stay tuned! |
11-09-2019, 03:58 PM | #56 |
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Minors updates
Since I've so little positive to say about the Penguins this week, let's do a couple of press releases for the FTP teams.
--- Worth a tasty hunk of PPs, around 8000 altogether. And I drew some upgrades from the packs...so joy! |
11-10-2019, 03:04 AM | #57 |
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For September: 10-17 (.370) For Season: 72-90 (.444) The fans and press have noticed, stadium attendance is in steady free-fall. For statistical geeks, you might notice our winp by season is a steady decline, whose equation is -.025x+53.1, r=.78728, a very strong linear correlation. Coming up: 2053 0.441 2054 0.415 2055 0.389 We’re the Cleveland Indians. Where the hell is Willie Mays Hayes? Good news? We squeaked past relegation by +2 games! Whahoo! |
11-10-2019, 03:02 PM | #58 |
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Go Terriers!
Hiram College is doing well, won both the wildcard and division series!
More press releases from the minors: But sometimes, Brute Force wins when great planning does not. Division winners! In honor of this thrilling victory, I shall open a fresh deck, and draw… Six "live" scrubs. Which I must immediately sell, as per the fresh Tomato license agreement. Sigh. |
11-10-2019, 05:21 PM | #59 |
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The Rancho Penasquitos Moose (mgr: johnnybartel) are our likely opponent for the series. He won more than 130 games in the regular, and he has a staff full of low end Diamond cards. It’s going to be a rough, rough Series, and we’re the heavy underdogs with the Vegas odds makers. Let’s do it for the fans! |
11-10-2019, 10:38 PM | #60 |
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Brute fans have watched many such home run events this year, thanks to the short walls at Force Field. The Brutes drove 240 baseballs into souvenir territory during the 2051 season. |
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