FOBL OFFSEASON STARTS WITH A BANG!

Subby · 02-02-2002, 08:20 AM

</tr><tr><td width="225"><font face="verdana" size="-3" color="#000000"><center>(Above) Former Heavyweight Champ Mike Tyson Tried to Include Himself in the Seminole - Green Bay Deal.</center></font></td></td></tr></table>
LAS VEGAS, NV (AP) -- "Pass the vaseline!" shouted billionaire Renegades owner and nunchuks magnate Double A. And with that, the 2003-2004 FOBL Hot Stove League got off to a screaming start.

At the top of the buzz list the first day was the sale of the Rockville franchise to reclusive billionaire and processed pork magnate DukeRulesMAB. The team was almost immediately moved to KY and renamed The Juggernaut. The Juggs will continue to bounce up in the Calzone and have promised a bodacious, double D-style, marketing campaign for the upcoming season. "We're skewing so old," lamented MAB, "but I plan on having a Rob Lowe/Judd Nelson Look-Alike Night to try and help us connect with all the youngsters out there. I'm also working on booking teen-heartthrobs Def Leppard to play after one of our games".

However, the real story so far has been the red-hot trade market. Household names like Emrich, Stafford, Romriell, Cansler, Prater, Stowers, Berglund, and Crose have all switched teams in the past week. Wilderness champ Seminole sent half its team to Green Bay and the other half to Davenport in exchange for an absolutely fantabulous stable of prospects.

"I'm afraid to leave my hotel room," commented Las Vegas executive assistant and fluff girl Alhill, "I'm afraid NoMyths will trade me to that cesspool in Montana. Of course, getting paid in hookers and coke has not been as rewarding as I initially thought it would."

Once contract extensions are finished, the league will delve into free agency, where three big names loom large. SP Ken Schrupp and Outfielders Joaquin Broomfield and Carlo Lawler refused to re-up with their teams in anticipation of 8 million dollar FOBL paydays. Teams with lots of cap room and an interest in competing are expected to drive the off-season FA market to record heights. In addition, the league is expected to download new bidding software into Spanky, the FOBL's robotic assistant. The software build should enable Spanky to carry out the FA process cleanly and with a minimum of German-inspired mayhem.

Many owners have stocked up on draft picks in anticipation of a draft pool that all scientists have predicted will be better than last year's. Cap City and Santa Cruz bring an Assload of Picks™ to the game and expect to completely restock their talent pipelines.

Billionaire widgets manafacturer and Cap City owner Buddy Grant, Jr. commented, "After winning the SS Championship we thought it might be a good idea, from a competitive standpoint, to acquire more prospects."

More immediately, the FOBL Ownership group was gearing up for its 4th Annual Shake It Don't Break It Party at the infamous Pantalones Nyet! Genleman's Club out on the 171 Bypass.

02-02-2002, 08:20 AM	#1
Subby Major Leagues Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 375	FOBL OFFSEASON STARTS WITH A BANG! <table width="160" border="0" cellspacing="2" cellpadding="2" align="left"><tr><td></tr><tr><td width="225"><font face="verdana" size="-3" color="#000000"><center>*(Above) Former Heavyweight Champ Mike Tyson Tried to Include Himself in the Seminole - Green Bay Deal.</center></font></td></td></tr></table> LAS VEGAS, NV (AP) --* "Pass the vaseline!" shouted billionaire Renegades owner and nunchuks magnate Double A. And with that, the 2003-2004 FOBL Hot Stove League got off to a screaming start. At the top of the buzz list the first day was the sale of the Rockville franchise to reclusive billionaire and processed pork magnate DukeRulesMAB. The team was almost immediately moved to KY and renamed The Juggernaut. The Juggs will continue to bounce up in the Calzone and have promised a bodacious, double D-style, marketing campaign for the upcoming season. "We're skewing so old," lamented MAB, "but I plan on having a Rob Lowe/Judd Nelson Look-Alike Night to try and help us connect with all the youngsters out there. I'm also working on booking teen-heartthrobs Def Leppard to play after one of our games". However, the real story so far has been the red-hot trade market. Household names like Emrich, Stafford, Romriell, Cansler, Prater, Stowers, Berglund, and Crose have all switched teams in the past week. Wilderness champ Seminole sent half its team to Green Bay and the other half to Davenport in exchange for an absolutely fantabulous stable of prospects. "I'm afraid to leave my hotel room," commented Las Vegas executive assistant and fluff girl Alhill, "I'm afraid NoMyths will trade me to that cesspool in Montana. Of course, getting paid in hookers and coke has not been as rewarding as I initially thought it would." Once contract extensions are finished, the league will delve into free agency, where three big names loom large. SP Ken Schrupp and Outfielders Joaquin Broomfield and Carlo Lawler refused to re-up with their teams in anticipation of 8 million dollar FOBL paydays. Teams with lots of cap room and an interest in competing are expected to drive the off-season FA market to record heights. In addition, the league is expected to download new bidding software into Spanky, the FOBL's robotic assistant. The software build should enable Spanky to carry out the FA process cleanly and with a minimum of German-inspired mayhem. Many owners have stocked up on draft picks in anticipation of a draft pool that all scientists have predicted will be better than last year's. Cap City and Santa Cruz bring an Assload of Picks™ to the game and expect to completely restock their talent pipelines. Billionaire widgets manafacturer and Cap City owner Buddy Grant, Jr. commented, "After winning the SS Championship we thought it might be a good idea, from a competitive standpoint, to acquire more prospects." More immediately, the FOBL Ownership group was gearing up for its 4th Annual Shake It Don't Break It Party at the infamous Pantalones Nyet! Genleman's Club out on the 171 Bypass.