Mets

[Westheim]

If Peterson's pitching like THAT and we apparently don't have a bullpen anymore, then maybe it's the Fishheads' turn to score 19 today...

[Westheim]

Gary Cohen has now also said that Tong looks like 12.

Now I feel like I know baseball.

That aside, bring up the Sproat kid. Let's have some Youth of America. Everybody else can try and get a job at Walmart for all I care.

[Westheim]

Senga sucks. Rest of the Mets sucks as well.

Watching deGrom now taking on the Pathetics while waiting for dead-of-night NASCAR, because I just love getting hurt over and over again, apparently.

[Westheim]

Gary Cohen: "The Mets scored a franchise-record number of runs and hit the most home runs ever in a single month in August, and yet... they went 11-17."

Yeah. I saw that.

Unwatchable.

[Amazin69]

As I delay today's excursion into misery as much as possible (MLBN is "graciously" letting me see both today's and Wednesday's matinees), I have to note that the four-day travesty is not merely on the individual players (thanks, Pete/Squirrel/Mr Pointy/Holmes/So-So!) nor on FIRE MIKE SARBAUGH NOW, the worst 3B coach in the bigs, but that Mendoza also deserves a serious portion of blame, even if it's probably best to wait until October to bounce his ass, too.

One day of the players acting like lazy spoiled ****s who got high sniffing each others' farts was bad enough. To let it spread all weekend long without blasting them is frankly disgusting.

Not to mention Mendoza's own ****-ups:

• Yeah, yeah, if McNeil just gets the out at 1B rather than throwing home in the 3rd inning of Thursday's game, then Holmes never gets the chance to drop Pete's throw and we don't get behind, blah blah blah, bad Squirrel, I get it.

Of course the whole reason McNeil even contemplated throwing home was because some ****head had the infield playing in, with a 2-1 lead, in the THIRD INNING, against Miami! What, ****head, you thought that if you let the Fish tie it up, the Billion-Dollar Babies would never score another run, is that it? You worthless brain-dead pile of alleged brain cells. "Oh, no, a tie game in the THIRD against MIAMI!! The HORROR!" **** off, Col. Kurtz

And then on Friday, sending Torrens out there to extend what Gary rightly called a "travesty" (Howie: "Maybe I'm from a different generation, but I can't imagine anyone finding this entertaining at this point") was utter and complete ass. Especially knowing that your paying customers had to sit through this **** since it was Fireworks Night and they didn't want to leave without seeing what they had paid for.

It's one thing for the losing team to try and end the game without letting any more of their pitchers' delicate little egos get bruised and so putting the spare infielder on the mound or whatever. (It's still gross and I really don't like that the Mets now have a "record" amount of runs scored in a home game that needs at least six asterisks, given that 31.6% of those runs scored against non-pitchers…but I at least semi-understand where Clayton McCullough was coming from.)

But it is unmitigated BULL**** for Mendoza to basically taunt Miami by putting Torrens on the mound with the giant lead. "Ha-ha, we're so far ahead, I don't even have to use one of the 88 guys in the bullpen because HEAVEN FORBID one of them has to throw an extra inning! We can finish the game with Torrens!" Made me ****ing sick. Bravo to Luis for giving up enough gophers to force Mendoza to have Stank get two whole outs and screw up Mendoza's plans to protect the Poor Delicate Babies' arms by making a mockery of the game. What a ****ing ****wad.

And then followed Saturday and Sunday, but I was pretty near checked out by then. All I know is that right now I hope the Tigres beat us 30-0 in this series, and I hope we go 0-10 on the road trip and let Stinkinnati have the "honor" of finishing 6th.

Fork this Spit, as the board forces me to say.

[Amazin69]

Top of 1st. Lindor walks. Lindor steals 2B. Soto walks. Pete GIDP, for a league-leading 22nd time. (Did Gary call it a "5-5-3" DP? I didn't get a chance to check.). Nimmo grounds out, Six Most Common Words in English. End of Inning.

Commercials. That annoying "Queens. You welcome me and my family" ad by Lindor for his (loser) shoe company starts playing. I logically decide to skip ahead, but as I am using my right hand to complain about my Matt Mitchell post being incomprehensibly deleted, I use my left hand on the remote, fumble it, somehow hit the "channel down" button and WHAMMO! I'm on NFLN and when I switch back to MLBN it's right after Soso's salami has sent Morton to the showers.

Come on.

(And yes, this could have been avoided had I DVR'd the game rather than simply relying on "pause", but me DVR is crammed to the gills. Bloody anus.)

[Amazin69]

SUNDAY.

Kodai Senga, 4.2 IP. 5 ER. An ERA of 9.64

Kodai Senga makes $20,000,000 per season.

MONDAY

Sean Manaea. 3.2 IP. 5 ER. ERA of 12.27

Sean Manaea makes $25,000,000 per season.

(Please note that, in both cases, I wrote "makes" rather than "earns". For obvious reasons.)

[Amazin69]

Bottom of the 5th.

A fly ball falls in front on Juan So-So, who "got a late start coming in".

I am shocked. So very, very, shocked. (Or not.)

Moron Mendoza pulls Gregory Soto (aka, "The Soto who tries") in favor of Ryne Stank. Gregory presumably asks "how is this my fault?" as he takes his stinky ass to the bench.

(Seriously, wtf is up with pitchers no longer being allowed to shower? How did that become a thing?)

Stank's first pitch sails in at least four feet over Torrens' head. Tie game. The Tigers have to be so embarrassed that they're not beating us by double-digits.

Yet.

[Westheim]

I am ABSOLUTELY seeing too much of this completely decrepit, useless, bottomless, spineless, feckless pitching recently.

And it’s the Mets AND the Raccoons ganging up at the same time, and I just CAN’T anymore.

Last Coons week I played:
VAN 9, POR 1 – after a day off, 27-year-old AAA nobody Vinny Morales gets knifed in the back by his own defense, gives up four runs (two earned) before the bullpen habitually explodes
VAN 5, POR 0 – Tony Gaytan (#2?) can’t get anybody out and is yanked after 3.2 innings; the difference to Manaea is that he’s young and cheap
VAN 6, POR 5 (16) – Girolamo “Pizza” Pizzichini works himself up in five innings for a 4-2 lead that the bullpen dutifully blows before then delivering stellar scoreless relief in extras until we’re finally out of arms and have to throw in “ace” Nick Walla, the next day’s starter, who goes three innings before giving up the winning homer
TIJ 0, POR 4 – reclamation project Alex Dominguez on regular rest in place of Walla somehow spins seven shutout innings for the W against the Condors, who bought up the entire free agent market and are being rewarded with the worst record in the league
TIJ 5, POR 7 (11) – in lieu of an actual starter, AAA body Cameron Bridges starts and aches through five innings and a rain delay before running out of fizz; the pen with surgical precision blows a 5-1 lead, send another game to extras, where we – out of paws – have to use Morales, next day’s starter. At least Joel Starr hits a walkoff homer…
TIJ 1, POR 2 – in lieu of an actual starter, the Raccoons bring back all 8.50 ERA of Randy Rautenstrauch (actual name!), who of course goes 7.1 innings while trailing 1-0 before the Critters get a 2-out, 2-run, walkoff single from AAA infielder Brian Hills.

That was the WORST week of Raccoons I played in a very long time. And they even went 3-3…! Granted, there’s always bonus misery points for getting swept by the “VAN” Canadiens, because I HATE THE CANADIENS!!! … but … (moves paws around while squealing)

And then there’s the METS…… who are even WORSE!!

FIRE the front office!

FIRE Mendoza!

TRADE Senga!

TRADE Boom-Boom!

TRADE or DUMP Alvarez!

RELEASE Manaea!

RELEASE Montas!

RELEASE Helsley!

RELEASE Stanek!

RELEASE Soto (the one who knows about sliders)!

THROW Holmes into a volcano!!

SACK the entire ******* bullpen!!

Stop collecting other people’s reclamation projects and wannabe closers! Burn the entire ******* **** to the ground and start again building around the young starters. Let it be 2014 again. I don’t ******* care for these faces anymore!

…

Except for Pete.

Pete must stay.

Eight years, $240M, I don’t care. Plus incentives. And free ice. He deserves it. Pete is good.

[Amazin69]

Google Translate claims that "Rautenstrauch" means "rue bush". Okay, then.

[Westheim]

I collect players with funny names.

The Mets collect suckers.

[Westheim]

Mets went boom in the night to score another dozen and actually found enough pitching behind McFame (WIP) to somehow wobble... Herget, really? REALLY?

Double Pete broke a tie with Ian Kinsler for 238th with 257 dingers; 258 sat empty but briefly, and now he's tied for 237th with 259 dingers with The Scum of the Earth, who needs no further introduction, and his cursed name shall not be spoken ever again. (spits on the ground three times)

[Amazin69]

EW. Please go yard ASAP, Pete, before you get contaminated by the stench.

Even if it's as inconsequential as Soto's blast yesterday which wasn't QUITE a Strawberry Special (Mets were only up 4 runs, not 5) but ticked enough of the boxes (late inning solo shot that mostly serves to pad the stats) to raise my eyebrow.

The big inning was of course nice to lock up the game, even if it meant that Mr First Met Ever to win his first [x] starts had to be pulled due to catching cobwebs watching. That's forgiveable, but less so is Moron Mendoza repeating his classless act from Friday and sending Jared Young out there in the 9th. (And, once again, requiring Actual Pitcher Stank to finish the game, which, let's face it, is the best time to use Stank.)

If you want to let Jared Young touch grass in the 9th, put him in for Pete. His work for the day was done. But this taunting is just getting tacky. Boo!

[Westheim]

Holmes useless, but at least the Mets stayed close until falling into the trap of turning to "Shells Fly" Helsley again. Kerry Carpenter only *barely* socked a 3-run homer though, and then Helsley still couldn't get out of the inning.

Fantastic.

On the plus side, Pete now has 69 extra-base hits for the year. NICE.

Day off, and then they can show their worst against the team chasing them for the final wild card...

[Amazin69]

Gary: "The Mets go for the series sweep, and send Clay Holmes to the mound." There should be a picture of that sentence in the dictionary, used to define "oxymoron".

Holmes goes 4.2 IP, allowing 5 H, 3 BB, 2 ER. Nice 3.86 ERA…if you don't mind the 1.71 WHIP that comes with it.

Ryan "Highway to" Helsley clearly isn't ready to work in high-leverage situations until he gets his confidence back. Gee, it's a pity we weren't ahead by 12-2 in the 9th yesterday, then…

Fire Moron Mendoza NOW. Unless you want to wait until after the season and keep the (non-Voltron) symmetry going, that is…Mickey Callaway, two seasons…Luis "Arm Care" Rojas, two seasons…Schmuck Bowalter, four-time failure, two seasons…Mendoza??

(Hilarious that the Tigers' pregame press notes were all quotes from Keith's Seinfeld episode.)

[dsvitak]

As a Cardinals fan, I would like to personally thank the New York Mets for taking on Helsley. Dude is legit awful, with a 2.226 WHIP. Dunno if I have ever seen a WHIP that high, 'cept back when I was pitching little league.

[Amazin69]

Originally Posted by Westheim

If Peterson's pitching like THAT and we apparently don't have a bullpen anymore, then maybe it's the Fishheads' turn to score 19 today...

Redemption time tonight?

Or more of the same?

[Westheim]

Why's Tong pitching on Saturday?? He last was out on Friday last week. Why's everybody on EIGHT DAYS' REST and they still can't get anybody OUT?????

Speaking of out...

CINCINNATI -- The Mets on Friday made the dramatic move of optioning right-hander Kodai Senga, arguably their de facto ace entering Spring Training, to Triple-A Syracuse.

The assignment needed to be accepted by Senga, who has struggled mightily over his last eight starts, producing a 6.56 ERA in those games. The team is expected to recall No. 5 prospect Brandon Sproat from Syracuse to start Sunday against the Reds in his place, according to a source.

by good man DiComo

I would have donated Manaea and Holmes for scientific research first, but whatever shakes up The Suck.

We have also activated Alvarez, because a catcher with two crippled hands is exactly what this pitching staff needs.

[Westheim]

Mets started like a fire engine, then drove it into the nearest pond, although the bloody thing just wouldn't quite sink and they crawled away with a 5-4 win, even though Boom-Boom insisted on saving a 1-run game by starting the bottom 9th with three on and nobody out. Even his ******* shoe couldn't take it anymore and came apart...!

I almost fainted when Gary Cohen suggested that now that the Dodgers had released Boom-Boom's brother, the Mets could reach out and reunite them in the orange 'n blue.

Gary - NO. I love you to bits, and I will charitably ascribe this motion to old people getting sentimental about family, because one of those guys is well enough to bring the house down already...

[Amazin69]

Originally Posted by Westheim

Mets started like a fire engine, then drove it into the nearest pond, although the bloody thing just wouldn't quite sink and they crawled away with a 5-4 win, even though Boom-Boom insisted on saving a 1-run game by starting the bottom 9th with three on and nobody out. Even his ******* shoe couldn't take it anymore and came apart...!

Not the best David Peterson on offer; I'm a bit concerned.

Thank heavens for our sterling bullpen!

I almost fainted when Gary Cohen suggested that now that the Dodgers had released Boom-Boom's brother, the Mets could reach out and reunite them in the orange 'n blue.

Excellent idea! Díaz y Díaz (Los Dos Díazos?) would look great in the matching orange 'n blue…of Syracuse.

(That's what Gary meant, right?)

Gary - NO. I love you to bits, and I will charitably ascribe this motion to old people getting sentimental about family, because one of those guys is well enough to bring the house down already...

I would have thought that Gary had been around long enough to know that, when trying to build a bullpen, the top priority should not be targeting guys who have been released. Huh.

I mean, I'm a free agent, too. I'd be glad to play for the minimum and I know how to duck. Doesn't mean I'm the answer, though.