National Baseball League

[jg2977]

MIKE: Alright, DOG, lemme tell ya somethin’. You talk about big-time pitchers, you talk about guys who rise to the moment — this kid, Sal Cantu, he was unbelievable last night. I mean, DOG, this was vintage October baseball. You get on that mound, hostile environment down in Houston, forty-nine thousand people screamin’, and he silences ‘em. Complete game. Four hits. No runs. Zero. You can’t pitch better than that, DOG.
DOG: MIKE, MIKE, HE WAS LIGHTS OUT! LIGHTS OUT! HE MADE THAT ASTROS LINEUP LOOK LIKE THE 1962 METS! I MEAN, COME ON, FOUR HITS? THEY COULDN’T TOUCH HIM! HE’S OUT THERE THROWIN’ BBs, WORKIN’ QUICKLY, CHANGIN’ SPEEDS—OH, IT WAS A MASTERPIECE!
MIKE: You know what I loved? The pace. No foolin’ around, no nibblin’, none of that modern nonsense with pitch counts and openers. He goes out there, ninety-one pitches, nine innings. That’s old-school baseball, DOG. That’s what an ace does in October.
DOG: ABSOLUTELY! THAT’S A MAN’S PERFORMANCE RIGHT THERE, MIKE! Not one of these five-and-fly guys, lookin’ to hand it off to the bullpen by the sixth! He finished the job! You gotta give Andy Marley credit too—he let him go! None of this analytics junk pullin’ him in the eighth!
MIKE: Exactly. And listen, this was a swing game, DOG. You go down 2–1 to Houston, that’s trouble. But now? Yankees up 2–1, feelin’ good, got the momentum. You win behind your big guy, you send a message. You tell the rest of the league, “Hey, the Bronx is back.”
DOG: OH THEY’RE BACK, BABY! AND I’LL TELL YA, MIKE, THIS CANTU—HE’S GOT THAT LOOK! HE’S GOT THAT BIG-GAME FACE, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? HE WANTS THE BALL! HE’S NOT OUT THERE CHECKIN’ THE IPAD, HE’S OUT THERE COMPETIN’!
MIKE: (laughing) Yeah, none of that iPad stuff, DOG. Just a guy on the mound sayin’, “Give me the ball, get outta my way.” You pitch like that in October? You become a legend in New York. That’s how you get your plaque in Cooperstown someday.
DOG: PUT HIM IN THE HALL RIGHT NOW! SAL CANTU DAY AT YANKEE STADIUM, MIKE! GET THE PLAQUE READY!
MIKE: Alright, easy, DOG, it’s one start. But yeah—if he keeps doin’ that, he’ll be rememberin’ this game twenty years from now. A performance like that? That’s why you watch postseason baseball.

MIKE: And DOG, how about the hometown kid, huh? Leo Romero. Born and raised right here in New York City, and he shows up in a playoff game like this? Four-for-four. I mean, come on. That RBI double in the fourth—that’s the only run they really needed, and he delivers it like he’s been dreaming about it his whole life.
DOG: OH, MIKE, HE WAS INCREDIBLE! A TRUE NEW YORK KID, OUT THERE SHOWIN’ THE REST OF THE LEAGUE HOW IT’S DONE! FOUR HITS, FOUR! HE’S LOCKED IN, SWINGIN’ WITH PURPOSE, AND THAT DOUBLE? EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT IN OCTOBER!
MIKE: Yeah, DOG, you could see it in his first at-bat—solid single, stayed on the ball, put it where it needed to go. Then in the fourth, runner on second, two outs, and he rips that double into the gap. The guy’s a pro, born and raised in the Bronx—and this is a homegrown Yankee moment right here.
DOG: AND HE DOES IT IN ENEMY TERRITORY, HOUSTON, MIKE! CROWD’S ROARING, FANS KNOW HIS STORY, AND HE JUST DELIVERS. THIS IS OCTOBER MAGIC! NEW YORK KID, NEW YORK TEAM, PLAYOFF GAME—PERFECT SCENARIO!
MIKE: That’s exactly it, DOG. You win playoff games with guys like this. Big stars get the headlines, but it’s your hometown heroes, your guys with a chip on their shoulder, who make you proud to wear the pinstripes.
DOG: I TELL YA, MIKE, CANTU GIVES YOU THE SHUTOUT AND ROMERO GIVES YOU THE CLUTCH HITS—THAT’S YANKEE BASEBALL! THAT’S WHAT OCTOBER’S ALL ABOUT!
MIKE: Yep. Homegrown talent, big-time pitching, and a little storybook magic. You keep getting performances like that, you’re going deep, DOG.
DOG: YOU MIGHT BE PLAYIN’ FOR A PARADE, MIKE! NEW YORK KID, NEW YORK TEAM, OCTOBER BASEBALL—CAN’T GET ANY BETTER THAN THAT!

[jg2977]

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[jg2977]

Ohhhhhh, LEMME TELL YA! Lemme tell ya what happened at Wrigley, DA BEARS FANS! The Chicago CUBS, yeah, they’re the Cubs, took the Pittsburgh Pirates to school, 9-4, and now we’re talkin’ about a ONE-GAME PLAYOFF, capisce? One game, all it takes, like a da Bears game in December, you feel me?!
DA FIRST THING YA GOTTA KNOW… Israel Fernandez, that third baseman, BOOM, 2-for-4, homers, scores two, drives in two—he’s doing it ALL! I tell ya, he’s like a da Bears linebacker back there, hitting everything in his path. You can’t stop him, nobody!
And the Cubs? They just kept hammering. Woodfin, Padillo, Quiroz, J. Rivera—these guys aren’t messin’ around. Base hits, doubles, stolen bases! I mean, J. Rivera swiping SIX—SIX! He’s faster than da Bears running back on a Thursday night primetime!
Pirates, meanwhile, ohhhh, the Pirates, they tried… they really did. Ramirez gave up eight runs in less than five innings! I mean, it was like they were playing da Bears defense in ’85 against Marino or somethin’, c’mon! They got a little rally late with two in the 7th and one in the 9th, but it’s too little, too late.
AND LISTEN… D. Cranmer comes in and just shuts ’em down after that—8 innings, 4 earned, keeps it together like a Bears offensive line on a cold windy night at Soldier Field. Perfect.
Now it’s all tied, one game to decide who moves on. Wrigley was packed—39,693 folks! The weather? Clear, 54 degrees, wind in from left. Perfect baseball day. Perfect!
DA BOTTOM LINE… Cubs are alive! Pirates better watch out! It’s one game, da Bears style, and you KNOW the Cubs are gonna bring the heat. It’s like the Super Bowl but with baseball bats instead of footballs!
WHO’S GONNA WIN? We’ll see Friday at PNC Park, baby. ONE GAME, BIG TIME. LET’S GO CUBS!

[jg2977]

Ahhh… good evening, everybody. Steve Somers here with you on The FAN — the schmooze is loose, and what a game it was tonight at Citi Field, where the Mets — the Amazin’s, as they used to be called, though not so amazin’ tonight — get absolutely pummeled, embarrassed, shellacked, by the Arizona Diamondbacks, seventeen to seven.
Seventeen! To seven! It looked more like a Jets score, folks.
Now, you know me — I’m a glass-half-full kinda guy, sometimes — but when you give up twenty-three hits in a playoff game, at home, in front of almost 39,000 paying customers, under clear skies, nice crisp fall air, wind blowing left to right at sixteen miles an hour — you can’t blame the weather, you can’t blame the ballpark, you can’t even blame the umpires. You just got pummeled.
And who did the damage? None other than a guy named Jesús Ramos — four hits, a homer, a double, five runs batted in. The guy was practically living on the bases. If the game went any longer, he’d be renting property out there between second and third.
Sean Nicholson? The big blow in the eighth — a two-run double to give Arizona the 10-7 lead. The Mets never recovered. Never!
And you can almost hear poor Bobby Colon — oh, Bobby, remember him? The big man? Four and a third innings, eleven hits, eight runs. The guy probably aged ten years between the third and fifth innings. I mean, by the time the bullpen showed up, the game was already halfway to Phoenix.
Now, Alonzo Hernandez — the Diamondbacks’ skipper — after the game said, quote, “I like our moxie.” Moxie! I love that word. The Mets? They had no moxie. They had mockery. And misery.
So, the Division Series — tied. Two games apiece. Game Five back in Arizona on Friday. It’s gonna be warm, it’s gonna be loud, and if the Mets don’t show up with something resembling a pitching staff, the only thing heading back to New York will be their luggage.
We’ll take your calls at 877-337-6666. Were you there? Did you see this mess? Did you leave early? Did you at least get your money’s worth on concessions before the bullpen melted down? We’ll talk about it all… the schmooze continues, right here on The FAN.
(Steve exhales into the mic)
Ohhh, the Mets… they giveth, and they taketh away. Stay with me.