Oakland A's 2024 And Beyond Dynasty

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
19 August 2026
Classic Fernandez display guarantees winning record for Oakland
By O. Verfivehundred, successful season correspondent

"There's life in the old dog yet!", veteran Jose Fernandez wheezed to reporters after yesterday's game, a 5-1 victory over the Baltimore Orioles which moved Oakland to 82-38 on the season. That ensures Paulie Beane's troops will finish over .500 for the fifth year in a row. The last time they failed to achieve that mark was 2021, when they finished 76-86. Oakland have managed to put a bit more ground between themselves and valiant chasers Seattle, who are now 14 games behind.

The 34-year-old Fernandez produced a vintage outing, throwing 6.1 innings for just one, unearned, run which came after an error, as per usual, from coordinationally challenged second baseman Alejandro Gusman. A's hitting coach Noah Hitter says Fernandez's ratings are dropping like a stone, but pensioner Fernandez seems intent on defying gravity and is still producing the goods. His 16 wins and 2.33 ERA marks both lead the majors this term.

"I expect to be on the receiving end of some Beane strops next season as my ratings and performances deteriorate", explained an optimistic Fernandez. "I've got 10/5 rights and don't want to leave. Paulie has promised me that it's a house rule of his that he won't cheat by putting me in the minors to pee me off so that I'll accept a trade." He went on, "In a way it'll be fun watching Paulie get increasingly irate and frustrated at paying a guy $22m to pitch out of the bullpen."

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
7 September 2026
Snel goes out cycling again
By Tor deFrance, cycling correspondent

Patrick Snel is having a rather nice season, thank you very much. Not content with becoming the first A's batter in franchise history to hit for the cycle earlier this year, he's only gone and done it again. He went 4-6, including his 20th homer, as the A's beat the Indians 5-3 in the 12th inning yesterday, to complete a perfect 6-0 week. With only 25 games remaining, Oakland still have the best record in the majors, 92-45, and are maintaining a decidedly heathy 13 game lead over Seattle in the American League West division. GM Paulie Beane currently has an unusual record of having won more World Series titles than he has divisional titles. He looks poised to even the scores up, but will hope to regain that odd statistic come November.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
14 September 2026
Red hot Soto crushes ten homers in a week
By Ash Bang-Wallop, deep shots correspondent

To say that Oakland right fielder Isael Soto is in decent nick right now would be understating it ever so slightly. The A's face division rivals Seattle tomorrow, and their pitching staff won't have got much sleep last night, and are probably all desperately hoping they conveniently pick up a niggling little injury so they don't have to face Soto in their forthcoming series. He has turned into a pitchers' worst nightmare this week, launching a devastating barrage of 10 home runs during Oakland's two 3-0 sweeps over Houston and Texas.

On Monday, Soto was just getting warmed up. He smoked a solo bomb in the 2nd followed by a two-run homer in the 8th, as Oakland won 10-4. Then, on Tuesday, the main course: a three home run violation of the Astros' pitchers' reputations and breaking half the perspex backdrop at Minute Maid Park in the process. He earned 8 RBIs in total in the A's 16-7 victory. Stadium staff at Minute Maid Park were seen hurried erecting a temporary screen to protect the remaining window panes from any further Soto-inflicted damage in the final game.

But he wasn't done. The Rangers pitchers will have been quaking in their boots having seen what he did to Houston, and Soto didn't disappoint. He gave them a little teaser in the first game, caressing two fastballs into the bleachers. He decided not to take any pity on them in the final game, smashing three more home runs and gathering 8 more ribbies. For Soto's final plate appearance Texas set up with no infielders, 3 outfielders and 4 players stationed in the seats, and he still went deep.

In total for the week he had 10 homers and 23 RBIs. Somehow he managed to nab the American League player of the week award. "I've just been seeing it like a beachball", he explained after the game. "I'm going to enjoy it. Based on my past performances, a 0-20 run is likely just around the corner." Oakland have now won 12 games on the spin and are 98-45, with a magic number of just 4.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
19 September 2026
CHAMPIONS! Oakland secures first American League West title since 2023
By P. Nogrigio, alcoholic celebrations correspondent

There were sore heads galore among Oakland players and staff arriving at the Coliseum ahead of this evening's game, after the A's bagged the American League West pennant thanks to yesterday's 3-0 win over Houston. With what was, neatly, their 100th victory of the season, they have become divisional champions for the fourth time in the Paulie Beane era, and are headed to the postseason for the fifth year in a row.

Superstar-in-waiting Karl Dickson combined with closer Eric Wright, who snagged his 42nd save, to shut out the Astros on 7 hits. All Oakland's runs came in the first inning off back-to-back home runs from (shock, horror) Isael Soto and rookie steroid abuse risk Javier Cruz. Cruz only made his major league debut in late June but already has a remarkable 17 homers. The Soto v Cruz power hitting battle next season could be a fun watch, and a pleasant change for A's fans used to seeing Beane's boys grind out low-scoring wins.

"I got wasted last night", grinned second baseman Alejandro Gusman as he arrived at the ground for today's game, a player who hopefully is better at holding onto beer glasses than he is balls hit towards him in the infield. "It will be hair of the dog time for me to make it through tonight's game", he told reporters, demonstrating his unflinching professionalism. Beane himself doesn't usually fraternise with the players, but he nevertheless celebrated somewhere last night as he was unable to appear at this morning's press conference. A club spokesman read out a statement on Beane's behalf, which said he was immensely proud of the players but that he was under the weather and needs to have a little lie down for a while and can someone please turn off that bright light.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
5 October 2026
Oakland head into the postseason with MLB-leading 108 wins
By Juan O. Eightwins, big win tally correspondent

The Oakland A's finished the regular season yesterday with a disappointing loss to Arizona, but can be very satisfied indeed with an excellent season which saw them clinch the American League West division title with room to spare. Their 108-win tally was just one short of the franchise-leading mark set in 2023, the first year of their three-peat sequence. In the divisional series they will now face either Boston, if they win the wildcard game against Seattle, or the Toronto Blue Jays, who won the AL Central pennant.

Unsurprisingly, A's players featured near the top of the MLB pitching statistic tables. Senile superman Jose Fernandez overcame creaking joints and the urge to doze off, sorry, rest his eyes, in an armchair every afternoon, to lead the majors with his 2.80 ERA. There was a more agonising result for closer Eric Wright, whose 45 saves fell just one behind the MLB best, which, wouldn't you just know it, was set by traitorous money-driven former A's closer and cartoon baddie Bernardo Lopez of Philadelphia.

GM Paulie Beane nearly fell off his chair when he noticed that Oakland had even managed to place batters among the major league offensive leaders. Patrick Snel's 210 hits was third, while Alejandro Gusman's 55 stolen bases was fourth. The A's aggregate runs scored total of 851 was a franchise season record.

Beane said, "I'm absolutely staggered at how well we've done, to be honest. Before this season, we had to lose some important players we couldn't afford and replace them with minimum salary guys, but the new lads have turned out even better." He particularly highlighted the contribution of young muscleman Javier Cruz, who, after being called up in mid season, has firmly locked down a place on the roster after crushing 21 home runs in 86 games.

The good news doesn't stop there for Oakland fans. All their players are under contract for next season, and the only uncertainty is around whether unexpected all-star outfielder Martin Wilson will be super-2 eligible, although Beane expects to be able to afford an arbitration award for him anyway. Irrespective of what happens in the postseason, it looks likely to be a quiet offseason at the Coliseum and this squad will be back intact for another crack at the title.

The final 2026 playoff picture is as follows.

American League
AL East winners: Toronto (97-71)
AL Central winners: Minnesota (98-64)
AL West winners: Oakland (108-54)
Wild cards: Seattle (93-69), Boston (85-77)

National League
NL East winners: Philadelphia (95-67)
NL Central winners: Cincinnati (92-70)
NL West winners: San Francisco (89-73)
Wild cards: LA Dodgers (88-74), Arizona (83-79)

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
12 October 2026
Dominant A's cruise into championship series
By E. Zee, immodesty in victory correspondent

Oakland last night secured a remarkable tenth straight postseason series win, as they murdered the Boston Red Sox 3-0 to advance to their fifth American League championship series in as many years. Boston led the majors in team batting average and on-base percentage during the regular season, but their dynamic lineup proved no match for Oakland's excellent pitching. The A's batters showed up, and they triumphed 9-4, 3-2 and 8-4.

Jose Fernandez rolled back the years with a lovely performance in the second game, throwing 8 innings for just 2 earned runs. Patrick Snel and Javier Cruz both smashed two home runs during the series, with crowd-favourite Cruz also bagging 5 RBIs. GM Paulie Beane clearly couldn't believe how easy the win was in the end. He walked into his post-game press conference insisting that one of the journalists pinch him to prove he wasn't dreaming. Upon being told that they would rather not and his unusual demands were making people uncomfortable, he proceeded to tip a glass of water over his head. He then said, "Yep, so it did happen. Fan-bleeding-tastic. It's always a pleasure to beat Boston, with all their cash. I should be publicly offering my commiserations to them. But I wouldn't really mean it. So I won't."

The championship series will now be the match-up all neutral fans, and the TV networks, were hoping for. Oakland will face Minnesota, who won a seventh American League Central crown in a row, and were equally as pitiless in dispatching Toronto by a similar 3-0 scoreline in their divisional series. The A's and Twins have been the two dominant teams in the American League the last four or five years, and they finished with the two best regular season records again this time. They have also met in the playoffs the last two years, the A's prevailing in the championship series in 2024 and the divisional series last year. Can they make it a hat-trick over the Twins? It will be a heavyweight clash of the titans and we'll bring you all the action. Well, OK, we'll write a report after the series has finished, summarising how it's gone. You'll need to use a proper baseball news source like MLB At Bat, or indeed any newspaper other than this one, to find out what happens actually at the time.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
20 October 2026
Fourth straight American League crown for Oakland as beaten Twins apply to join the National League
By Una Beatable, American League domination correspondent

Can anyone stop the Oakland A's juggernaut? Not the Twins, that's for sure. For the third year in a row, the A's have dumped Minnesota out of the playoffs. This time they were simply swatted aside by an Oakland team that is bang in form at exactly the right time. Last night's 6-3 victory completed a 4-1 series win that made Oakland the American League champs once again. It is their fourth consecutive and fifth overall of Paulie Beane's increasingly legendary tenure.

The series had been billed as a battle of irresistible force meets immovable object. In the end it was more like Barcelona versus Stockport County. The Twins would have had more success trying to stop Lewis Hamilton by whacking his onrushing car with a helium balloon. And leading the Oakland charge was none other than the wrinkly old man himself, withering ace Jose Fernandez. Karl Dickson has taken over as rotation lead this postseason, but it is the four-time Cy Young winner Fernandez who has stolen the headlines. In his two starts against Minnesota in the series, Fernandez threw 15 innings for just a single earned run.

Led by Fernandez, Oakland jumped out of the blocks and were 3-0 up in the series before Minnesota had barely time to blink. A 3-hit shutout in the fourth game kept the Twins in with a shout, and A's fans started to get rather twitchy when they fell behind early in game 5 and were shut out for the first seven innings. But Patrick Snel's fifth postseason home run tied it up in the 8th, and Oakland scored 3 runs in the top of the 11th inning to seal the series. After the conclusion of the match, reliable sources say Minnesota made an application to join the National League, citing as evidence that their repeated inability to beat Oakland in the postseason demonstrated that the American League had failed in its duty to ensure competitive balance between all teams, and so they wished to switch leagues. Commissioner Rob Manfred-Mann gave the idea short shrift, telling reporters that he had told Minnesota to "sod off" and "just man up" and "that's baseball, it goes in cycles, deal with it."

The A's now head to the World Series where they'll face a familiar and local foe, the San Francisco Giants. They overcame reigning NL champions Cincinnati 3-0 in the divisional series, and, more satisfyingly, thrashed arch rivals Los Angeles Dodgers 4-1 in the next round. In what will be a repeat of the "Bay Bridge World Series" of 2023, the Giants will fancy their chances, since they, like Oakland, have so far gone 7-1 in the postseason so far. Something has to give, and the A's won't have it all their own way. But they have the chance of an historic four-peat.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
27 October 2026
CHAMPIONS YET AGAIN!! Superlatives inadequate as Oakland win fourth straight World Series
By B. Yondourwildestdreams, unbelievable events correspondent

"It never gets old. Never." Those were Oakland general manager Paulie Beane's first words as he entered his post-match press conference last night. "I'll even break the habit of a lifetime and not have a whisky. Champagne tonight." His Oakland side had just achieved the impossible dream. A fourth successive World Series title.

"Will you continue at the helm?" he was asked at one point, by a reporter who usually covers the Twins, so clearly in hope rather than expectation. "What more do you have to achieve?" "I told you, it never gets old", Beane replied immediately, "and I have no plans to leave. I love this club, I love winning titles, and there's always a new challenge. Even Jose Fernandez's biggest fan, which is of course me, would admit that he's over the hill and speeding at breakneck pace down the other side; we will have to try and challenge again next year without him at his peak. I'm excited to see how some of our young prospects will develop. You can never say never, but I can assure you I'll be back next season and hungrier than ever to win."

Oakland's 8-0 victory at the Coliseum last night completed a 4-1 World Series triumph over San Francisco. But the series was considerably tighter than that scoreline suggests. The Giants narrowly won the first match-up by a single run, with A's starter Rodney Stewart continuing his postseason struggles on the mound. San Francisco then established a slender lead early in the second game, but Javier Cruz's RBI single in the 8th made it an extra innings game, before homers from Jakson Reetz and Dennis Hawkins helped Oakland score 5 runs in the top of the 12th to square things up.

Beane's boys cruised to a 11-5 win in the next, the first game at the Coliseum, but the decisive game was the stunning fourth in the series. Ambrose Bailey, starting on the mound for Oakland in place of Stewart, was smashed for 7 runs in the 3rd inning, but only 1 of those was earned, after errors by infielders Patrick Snel and Josh Morgan. It was a long way back from a 7-0 deficit, but Oakland's lineup and bullpen continued their superb postseason form. They responded immediately with 3 runs in the bottom of the 3rd, made it 7-6 with 4 runs in the 6th, and won it at the death on two 2-out RBI singles in the bottom of the 9th. That demoralising defeat seemed to knock the stuffing out of the Giants and it was no surprise that the succumbed easily in last night's shutout win, with Karl Dickson's 8 scoreless innings setting down a marker for next season. Oakland and Beane are world champions for the fifth time in all.

Can the A's make it five in a row in 2027? The squad will be a year older, but they'll all be back. But baseball is an unpredictable sport and who knows what will happen. The Telegraph will report it all.

[Paulie123]

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The Oakland Telegraph
28 October 2026
Speculation mounts about Beane's Oakland future as A's celebrate
By Will Heeleave, resignations correspondent

Speculation continued to build last night that Paulie Beane, the most successful GM in Oakland franchise history and the man who has now led the team to four consecutive World Series titles, may be considering his future at the club. After twelve seasons at the helm and with five rings in his trophy cabinet, rumour has it he may be lacking in motivation and be keen to seek a new challenge elsewhere. The several reported spats with field manager Phil D'Manager this season have also led to tension in the Oakland front office and dressing room, and there is a belief that this may also be a factor in Beane thinking about whether he may wish to move on.

"I don't know where these stories have come from", Beane told waiting reporters as he arrived for work at 2pm yesterday afternoon wearing some ridiculous trendy sunglasses of the sort that celebrities seem to love but which no rational, normal person would even consider stepping out of the house wearing. "I'm late today, not because I'm demotivated, but because I got thoroughly plastered out celebrating last night, and have spent most of the morning enduring a heady cocktail of a crushing headache and repeated trips to the toilet bowl to puke my guts out. Oakland is my club and I'd never voluntarily leave."

We experienced journalists would never let an official, unequivocal denial get in the way of a good story, however. There is plenty of mileage, and therefore column inches and sales, to be had from a long, drawn out series of entirely made up articles which peddle and embellish these entirely made up rumours. Get ready for some double page spreads at even the merest hint of a whiff of a suggestion that there might be any credence to this. For instance, today's paper carries our behavioural analysis of how, when Beane briefly turned his head away from D'Manager when he sneezed during today's press conference, this means he hates D'Manager and the pair will never speak again. The suggestion that making sure you don't sneeze all over a work colleague is simply good manners and there is nothing more to read into it than that is laughable, especially when you're a struggling newspaper with useless correspondents like this one. Here at the Telegraph we believe there's no smoke without fire.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
4 November 2026
Fernandez and Beane win at end of season awards
By A. Wards, star player recognition correspondent

Jose Fernandez might be thoroughly over the hill these days, but he showed this season that he can still cause batters problems. His excellent form was a feature of Oakland's title-winning success, and he has been awarded with his fifth Cy Young award. The veteran hurler notched an 18-6 record with a league-leading 2.80 ERA this season, despite the deteriorating assessment of his abilities by major league scouts.

Not even his mother expects the 34-year-old to feature in the Cy Young conversation again in future seasons, but the man who also won in 2018, 2022, 2023 and 2024 and has a 229-95 career record was determined to enjoy his award. "I know that realistically I'll be undemotable roster-filler for the A's next season", he said, "but I've got five Cy Youngs and four World Series rings, so I won't feel any shame if for once it's the other lads carrying me, rather than the other way round. No matter what happens now, I've had a career way beyond anything I dreamed of as a kid."

Fernandez's $22.4m per year contract ends next year, and insiders say that, at the A's, where sentiment counts for little, it will depend on his performances as to whether he will be offered an extension. If he wishes to stay at the penny-pinching Coliseum, he certainly won't be getting anything like his current wage. "My target for next season, first and foremost, is to avoid embarrassing myself. Anything beyond that is a bonus", he added optimistically.

Meanwhile, Oakland's general manager, Paulie Beane, received his fourth American League manager of the year title. It is well known that he couldn't give a monkeys.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
18 November 2026
Quiet offseason expected for A's, but big shake-up coming after 2027 season
By Stan D'Pat, roster contentment correspondent

GM Paulie Beane has assured Oakland fans that it will be a quiet winter at the Coliseum. For the first time in several years, budgetary constraints imposed by owner Ban-ki Rupt will not mean Beane will have to move out one or more higher earners. Rupt has again kept the payroll budget at $150m, but the squad who have just won 108 games and the World Series championship will all be back for another shot at the title in 2027 on an aggregate payroll of $139m.

Unused and unloved reserve pitchers Aaron Sanchez and Lance Roberts both departed to free agency, but that could be the extent of the roster comings and goings for Beane this offseason. The one other change pundits are speculating about is whether Beane looks to promote promising young lefty starting pitcher Nathan Hamilton onto the 25-man roster. The 22-year-old didn't overly impress in 9 starts last year, being sent back to the minors after posting a 6.34 ERA, but he is cheap - always an asset in Oakland for a player seeking game time - and Beane may decide to give him a longer run. Frustration-o-matic machine Johnny Jackson may be the man to make way for Hamilton.

So it is a settled picture for 2027 in Oakland. But watch out, a payroll storm is cooking for 2028. Dennis Hawkins, Roy Ellis, Melvi Salazar, Martin Wilson, and, rather less worryingly, Rich Weaver, are all likely to reach arbitration for 2028, and on current estimates the A's would need a payroll budget of $167m to cover their salaries. There is more chance of the sun exploding than Rupt increasing the budget above the current $150m, so it will be thoroughly shot to pieces. Add into the simmering concoction the fact that key players Rodney Stewart, Josh Morgan, Isael Soto, Ketel Marte, Franyel Casadilla, Bill Williams and, last but not least, Jose Fernandez are all currently on course to be free agents after this year, and you have a major roster reshuffle brewing.

The 2027 A's will look very familiar to fans indeed, and be comprised of 25 guys who have all already won rings at the club. But the 2028 vintage will look rather different. How the club is faring and how individuals are performing over the first two or three months of next season will probably determine who Beane decides to keep and who he'll ship out. Given their performances this past season, everyone expects the A's to be firmly in the playoff mix. But if they're out of contention then there could be roster carnage on the west coast.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
11 January 2027
Nothing happening in boring Oakland
By M. T. Pages, slow news day correspondent

The Telegraph can today boringly and exclusively report that there is absolutely nothing to report in Oakland. General manager Paulie Beane has been good to his word, and boringly there have been no incoming or outgoing players all winter. The only roster move so far is one that was widely expected, and therefore fairly boring, with reliever Johnny Jackson dropping to the minors, starting pitcher Bill Williams taking his bullpen spot, and Nathan Hamilton being promoted to the rotation to take Williams's spot.

Does the club not realise that we sports journalists have to somehow make ends meet, and that this requires something to actually happen that we can report on? Selfish, I call it. I should probably instead do some kind of space-filling banal and unoriginal opinion piece about how Beane's lack of trading activity is storing up trouble for the future, and pose the rhetorical questions about whether he's taking his eye off the ball this offseason, and that this is a symptom that he is thinking about leaving the organisation? We all know he's not. But posing these rhetorical questions is the best I could come up with for my column this week, and our editor is too apathetic to commission anything else.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
11 April 2027
Hamilton heads impressive A's prospects list as tedious offseason finally ends
By Les Getonwithit, eager anticipation correspondent

After what must rank as singularly the most boring offseason for Oakland followers in recent memory, baseball is back at last. Even hardcore fans were reduced to following the hapless Raiders, in the absence of any news of note whatsoever coming out from the A's organisation. The only event of any sort so far this calendar year came in February when general manager Paulie Beane announced he had negotiated affordable contract extensions to buy out the arbitration years of reliever Roy Ellis and all-star centre fielder Martin Wilson. But the tedium is over now, as the regular season kicks off again in a couple of days.

Baseball News Network have also published their annual top prospects. No one knows what arcane algorithmic potion they use to create their list of future superstars, but it seems to come close to pretty much just repeating the order of the previous summer's draft. Baseball clubs say it bodes well for the future if their young players feature heavily, and of course question its formula and relevance if the list contains none of their projected stars.

Oakland GM Paulie Beane yesterday sat firmly in the "it bodes well for the future" camp, as his club again placed several young players on BNN's radar. Leading the pack was starting pitcher Nathan Hamilton, who was ranked #10, up from #21 last year. He will begin the season on Oakland's active roster. A further seven players also appeared further down the Top 100 list. Starting pitcher Ramon Mendoza (#20) and lefty relievers Gonzalo Avila (#22) and Brandon MacPherson (#63) are all young arms who will be pushing for spots on the active roster as the season progresses. Catcher Pedro Trinidad (#81) will make the roster, taking over from Junior Vincent as backup to Jakson Reetz. Outfielders Robert Perry (#30) and Williams Morris (#42) are inside the top fifty, but face a key season in the minors to assuage the doubts of club insiders who are concerned that they will never quite make it to the majors. Last year's first round draft pick, shortstop Liam Brown, appears at #53.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
12 April 2027
Beane's inertia has let world champion A's stagnate
As Paulie Beane's Oakland chase an astounding fifth consecutive World Series title, our preseason previewer, Y. L. D'Guesswork, takes a look at a roster which is essentially unchanged from last November and assesses their chances. You can tell from our headline he doesn't fancy them.

Rotation: Jose Fernandez (34/R/1.5*, 18-6 WL, 2.80 ERA in 2026) may have won the Cy Young last year, but his ageing joints are creakier than a cellar door in an old abandoned house during a national WD40 shortage. His ratings are heading downhill faster than Bode Miller, and much for Oakland will depend on whether he can continue to outfox opposition batters. Karl Dickson (25/R/5*, 17-9, 2.98) is the new number rotation one. Rodney Stewart (29/L/4.5*, 16-5, 3.41) and Ambrose Bailey (28/R/4.5*, 18-9, 3.25) are generally very solid indeed but prone to the occasional tear-inducing shocking display. Young Nathan Hamilton (23/L/4.5*, 3-2, 6.36) will look to cement the fifth rotation spot after a couple of aborted attempts last season. He's resigned being referred to as "young" every time he's talked about this season. Ramon Mendoza is pushing for a spot if anyone gets injured.

Bullpen: This looked suspect early on last year, but got better throughout the season and was dominant in the playoffs. Eric Wright (26/L/4.5*, 6-3, 2.84, 45 SV) is the unimpeachable closer having finished second in MLB for saves last year, and will want this time want to beat the number one save-getter, his nemesis the treacherous former A's closer Bernardo Lopez. Canny Jose Duran (23/L/5*, 7-1, 3.58) and puzzlingly effective Melvi Salazar (32/R/3.5*, 2-1, 2.58) will play setup. In middle relief, Roy Ellis (24/L/5*, 7-1, 3.60) and Franyel Casadilla (30/R/5*, 3-3, 3.65) both recovered last year after poor starts and will look to keep that form going. Jose Martinez (23/R/5*, 1-0, 2.77) is effective, on the rare occasions he deigns to not be injured. Team-mates never get tired of ribbing Bill Williams (28/R/2.5*, 9-8, 3.94) about his name. He drops into the pen to make way for Hamilton to join the rotation, and will no doubt get in a childish grump about that in fairly short order. The A's have incredible depth, with the likes of Johnny Jackson, Brandon MacPherson and Juan Gonzalez in the minors, who would start on most other teams.

Catcher: Jakson Reetz (31/R/4*, .317 OBP, 15 HR, 84 RBI in 2026) is genuinely excellent behind the plate and gives the A's genuinely average performance with the bat. He is under contract for two more years and will play every day he's fit. Pedro Trinidad (24/R/2.5*, drafted 2023 supp rd 1 by Cleveland) takes over from Junior Vincent as Reetz's benchwarming backup, but will hopefully actually hit something occasionally.

Infield: It's often a lottery when ageing batters will hit the wall and decline, so only time will tell whether re-signing first baseman and club legend Matt Olson (33/L/2.5*, .340, 19, 71) for two more years was a mistake by Beane. Walking error-machine Alejandro Gusman (24/L/4*, .382, 5, 56) could kindly be described as a player who handles groundballs accurately less frequently than Jose Mourinho says sorry, but has a good bat and superb eye. Patrick Snel (26/L/4*, .350, 22, 96) is lethal against righties but has started to struggle badly against righties, so will platoon with the absolutely unexceptional Rich Weaver (27/R/1*, .317, 1, 11) at third. Shortstop Josh Morgan (31/R/4.5*, .359, 5, 63) is fabulous defensively but had a down year with the bat and has work to do in early season if he wants to get a contract extension offer for future years. Of course, if he doesn't want an offer then he has little incentive not to be useless. Ketel Marte (33/S/1*, .346, 6, 41) is an identi-kit Oakland backup: dead cheap and surprisingly effective. Leon Aponte is pushing hard from the minor league roster.

Outfield: Everyone is talking about mid-season promotee and ladies' favourite, Javier Cruz (24/L/3.5*, .335, 21, 63). The left fielder doesn't exactly have what you might call a subtle and nuanced approach at the plate, but man, does he give it a smack. Two-time all-star Eddie Holland (28/L/4*, .325, 17, 84) is a defensive dynamo in centre field and leads the lineup well. Right field is a platoon of powermonger Isael Soto (30/L/2*, .337, 28, 100) and surprise all-star Martin Wilson (25/R/2*, .305, 10, 57). Dennis Hawkins (25/L/2.5*, .368, 12, 71) plays all three outfield positions. Unfortunately, very badly. He got better and better at the plate last season, however, and plays designated hitter. Jim Thompson is very capable for a minor leaguer and likely to be trade bait if Oakland underwhelm this year and Beane looks to trade for upgrades. Robert Perry and William Morris may be two of those prospects who promise much but never quite make it.

This newspaper has for three years now repeatedly predicted that Oakland will not defend their title, and then been proved thoroughly wrong. But we are not ones to let hard evidence stand in the way of our prejudice. So we again officially predict that Oakland will not make it five World Series wins in a row, although we'll hedge our bets a little and say we think the A's will however have a winning season, finishing with about 88-90 wins. There, that's put the kybosh on them for sure. Beane says that, after 108 wins and a world championship, he was content with his roster and has no need to make changes. But standing pat looks to have made them stagnate.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
19 April 2027
Nice start for the A's as Dickson lays down a marker, while Yankees uselessness causes nationwide mirth
By Babe Ridge, Bay Area correspondent

New Oakland rotation leader Karl Dickson set a marker out for the coming season, after putting up two dominant displays on the mound this week. He stuck two fingers up to the pressure of pitching on opening day for the first time in his career, restricting the LA Angels to 1 run on 3 hits in 8 innings pitched. In Oakland's 11-1 trouncing of the Texas Rangers on Saturday, he threw 7.2 innings for just 4 hits and 1 earned run.

General manager Paulie Beane said he was very happy overall with Oakland's 5-2 first week, which puts them in familiar territory in first place in the American League West division. He also pointed out his amusement, which he shares with fans of all teams other than the Yankees, at seeing loadsamoney tycoons New York opening the season 0-6, scoring 17 runs but conceding 43. "Hands up who doesn't think that's funny?" he asked us reporters at his press conference yesterday. We all confessed that yes we thought it was very funny indeed. The Yankees issued a statement denying rumours that Matt Williams and Ruben Amaro Jr had joined their front office team.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
1 May 2027
Dickson's fine form rewarded, but rest of A's pitching looks frail
By Luke Ingdodgy, shaky pitching correspondent

Karl Dickson said he was over the moon as he today received the coveted American League pitcher of the month award for April from MLB commissioner Rob Manfred-Mann. The 25-year-old youngster pitched like a rotation ace should, as he shut down opposition pitchers to earn a 4-0 mark with a superb 0.89 ERA from 30.1 innings.

Dickson's fine form contributed to a month of contrasting fortunes for A's pitching coach Ace Onballs. The imaginary Onballs has earned rave reviews for his patient and diligent work developing Dickson over the last few years, but has simultaneously come under fire for the sub-standard performance of Oakland's other hurlers so far this season. Several of them seem to be taking part in a closely-contested game of "who can underperform by most compared to last year". Current leader in that game is lefty Rodney Stewart, whose 0-3 record and 4.76 ERA from three starts is well down on his 16-5, 3.41 displays of last year. Bill Williams and his dirty 10.13 ERA get a special commendation for unstinting awfulness.

Beane needs Onballs to find the answers to these pitching problems, fast. After a nice opening week, the A's have slumped, and have now staggered to a 9-9 record, which puts them in the unusual surroundings of third place in the AL West. Their overall team ERA is 3.18, which is best in the American League, but most of the credit for that goes to Dickson. The other pitchers need to step up to the plate, er, mound, if the team is to challenge for a "five-peat".

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
17 May 2026
Bullpen woes and poor defense killing A's
By Phil Ding-Errors, unearned runs correspondent

The whisky sellers in Oakland are delirious. The baseball team's runaway success over the past five years has seen their liquor sales bump along the bottom. Now, as Paulie Beane's team stare down the barrel of becoming also-rans rather than contenders, vendors' profits are soaring. The A's are 15-18 and 7.5 games back of leaders Houston in the American League West. The team that won 108 games last year is suffering one of those dips that make Beane have a large tipple, swear out load at his iPad, and just generally destroy nearby furniture. "I would moan about this being unrealistic", said Beane, "had not that lack of realism seen me win four straight World Series. And also, this is baseball, and, well, s*** happens."

Even Oakland's harshest critics (i.e. San Francisco fans) will admit they have been a bit unlucky. Their runs differential of 156-141 gives them a Pythagorean record of 18-15, which would put a rather different slant on things. The normally defensively excellent A's have typically made about 80-90 fielding errors per season during their recent years of dominance. This season they have already committed 24, but have also had bad luck in the sheer number of unearned runs that these have led to. Of their 141 runs allowed, 32 have been unearned. Field manager Phil D'Manager has been able to stuff a pillow with the volume of hair he's pulled out of his scalp in frustration while watching on from the sidelines.

Pitching has also been poor, when usually it's a strength of the ball club. In the rotation, Jose Fernandez's long-anticipated decline - he has a 3.42 ERA despite a .269 BABIP - has been compensated for by Karl Dickson's emergence as a bona fide ace, but Rodney Stewart and Nathan Hamilton have been, well, poor. But it is the useless buffoons in the bullpen that have really done the damage. The inexplicably hard to hit Melvi Salazar has excelled while closer Eric Wright has been solid enough. But the other cretinous relievers have been hopeless, all posting ERAs well north of 4.00, and just generally serving up easy pitches to grateful hitters. It has got so bad, Beane has even now turned to serial underachiever and home run magnet Johnny Jackson to try and turn things round, with grumpy bum Bill Williams being sent down to the minors. Beane has explored, but so far held off, making trades, but he is unlikely to continue like that if things don't start to turn.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
31 May 2027
Oakland get Bradford and Gott as Casadilla and Soto depart
By Tré Dingday, panicky trades correspondent

He could wait no longer. This past 1-6 week, which included only narrowly avoiding a 4-0 sweep by the hapless New York Yankees, was clearly the final straw. Paulie Beane's Oakland A's sit at 19-27, 12.5 games back of the lead in the American League West, and, after four straight world championships, are nearly out of the race with barely a quarter of the season gone.

Insiders say his finger had been twitching on the trigger for a couple of weeks, and finally he's pulled it. Beane likes trading with the National League so that any mistakes don't immediately come back to haunt him, and today completed a pair of trades with Arizona and Atlanta. Coming to the Coliseum is a man who will compete with Bill Williams for daftest name on the roster, left fielder Brad Bradford (28/L/3.5*, drafted 2017 rd 1 by Pittsburgh). "I know the parents in this case are Mr and Mrs OOTP Random Name Generator, but crikey do mums and dads give their kids silly names sometimes", said Paulie Beane, apparently without irony. Bradford was an all-star in 2023 and 2025, and adds more reliable contact for equally strong defense, compared to the departed Isael Soto, who moved the other way in the trade. Soto got 10 home runs in a week towards the end of last season, but was struggling to get 10 hits in a month this term.

Also coming to Oakland, in a trade unusual for the club in that it didn't replace a player with a younger man, is experienced reliever Trevor Gott (34/R/4.5*). He takes the spot of the increasingly hittable Franyel Casadilla, who bravely heads to Atlanta. Casadilla has in recent years lost the knack of Beane's favoured groundball pitching, and once he started struggling (his ERA is 4.56 this year despite an unsustainable .186 BABIP), his card was marked.

Also joining the A's is minor league reliever Ricardo Morin (23/R/3*, drafted 2024 rd 4 by Arizona), who was a low draft pick but has developed quickly in the minors and has great stuff.