New Orleans Penguins

[Lemandria]

Nothing but a bloody puddle

Current position 29th of 30, and the worst is yet to come.

Next report will be on Monday, the birds are on full autopilot.

Footnote: Live PHI complete, Lenny Dykstra joins the team. He's not even a sidegrade, assigned to reserves. His agent requests an immediate trade.

[Lemandria]

Merciful end

We did not finish dead last, we finished in a 3-way tie for 29th. (ie last).

Setting a new record for Penguin losses at 103, woot woot woot. Also a record, our team ERA of 5.31, absolutely dazzling! Team OPS was .704, pretty anemic but not actually in the bottom ten.

Hitters not needing pay cuts:
Clarke Cedeno Harper Brock all performed well enough to earn an “adequate” sticker. The entire infield, on the other hand…

Pitchers not needing pay cuts:
Kirby Yates and Rollie Fingers. Closers cannot carry a team, fellas. I’d argue that they’re the two members of the entire pitching staff that can maybe pitch in Diamond. But you can’t close a game if your team is never ahead.

The defense was atrocious, in a ball park where OF defense really, really, really matters. 15th in ZR, 15th in errors (that E crater is new, apparently a demoralized teams kick a lot of baseballs?) I dunno, likely we were just in a league filled with sterling defenders, and so we looked abysmal by comparison.

In summation: we need a whopping big list of roster repairs, and we’ve no budget to make them.

Ballpark updates: we’re going to a full-on deadball field next season, we don’t have the D to play the roomy corners. Let the grass grow tall, groundskeepers, and don’t repair the mud pits.

The Gulf Igloo is going through a period of extended global warming.

[Lemandria]

Tomatooooo!

Sacramento won their division, and are headed to the playoffs.


NC Central was really competitive (best .512 worst .444, that’s pretty tight), but no one really stepped up an dominated.


Sacramento heads into a series, surrounded on all sides by some overpowering teams. Championship hopes are pretty dim, but at least we’ll get our shot.

Vancouver closes out season quietly

The Force never got any real traction this season, but didn’t fare badly.


Second in the NC West, finishing 10 games back (76-86). As expected, the Gold Level pitching was a bit better that we were used to, but we held our own.

[Lemandria]

Ah, back in Diamond, happy happy.

[Lemandria]

There was magic in the air

So the New Orleans players must have been pleased to escape the stifling atmosphere of those robot ballparks up in Perfect, because they started the season muy caliente.

Running shoeless through the outfield, toes in the grass and just… gamboling? Frolicing, perhaps? At any rate, for the first time in five seasons, they began the season with some signs of life.

11-1, in the opening two weeks, including a nine game winning streak. That is a team enjoying itself, and the pleasures of another year in the sun.

For April, 17-8. No bickering in the dugouts, no pitchers cowering in the bullpen to avoid the manager’s selection. It’s almost like a whole new team.

As expected, the tall grass only helped the pitchers. 1st in ERA, 1st in RA. The hitters were not quite so pleased with the new deadball Igloo, but the defense is already showing signs of improvement and the wins (particularly at home, 11-2) are beginning to pile up.

The league looks great, I see half a dozen other teams are enjoying recent escapes from PeL Hell.

We maintain a narrow 1/2 game lead over Anyang Tigers, who also launched the season with quite a warm start. So New Orleans is currently 1st in ACC, and 2nd overall. Keep an eye on Rhode Island Baysox, over in NCC, as they’ve PeL playoff experience and are surely seeking a way back up to try again.

I see the Orinda Ducks, frequent tournament opponents, leading the NCE. Budapest Brutes, over in ACE, and Pittsburg Paddy Cakes in ACW. All quite respectable teams.

What I don’t see is a rock-crushing, league-dominating evil empire. This year could actually be competitive and FUN.

In other news:
Team Iron won a daily, we're trying to get them into shape for the weekly.

[Lemandria]

…until the fairy tale ended

And the Penguins are back. 17-8 for Apr, 10-17 for May. Will the real team please stand up?

That’s us, the masters of inconsistency. Down to 2nd in Division, 13th overall, mediocre.

Overall, it wasn’t really that horrible. There are some odd things happening, and we’re booting ball games that we should win. Our actual record: 27–25, Pythagorean: 30-22. We’re booting close games, the RNG owes us.

But one-run games, 4-10. Extra innings, 1-4. Relievers? No, their numbers are all right. Defense? Probably not, putting up better #’s than last season, for sure.

We’re just losing the occasional dice-toss games, down this month as much as up last month.

In the long term, it (probably) balances out. We project out to a mediocre season, and if our luck swings up a bit, maybe even a wild-card season.

In the doghouse: Moosina and Harper. Pick it up, boys.

Previewing: June sched looks good, July poor, Aug good, Sep poor. All predictive statistics subject to change without notice, not enough data to narrow the error margins. 83 win season (yawn, scratch).

Team Gold finished second in the Daily Gold, so we joyfully ripped open the seven packs and got…squat. Team Gold does not do that well in tournament play, generally speaking. Grateful for the crumbs.

[Lemandria]

July 2

Streaks. Hot, then cold, then hot, then cold. At least we ended the month on a up note.

Moose started to pitch finally, so that helped.

42-37, 15-11 for June, a little better. Looks like we’re shaking out as an average-plus team this season, possible wild card.

2nd in Division, 6 1/2 games back, 10th overall. Pitching is still groovy, but that’s mostly the ballpark. Hitting looks depressed, but that’s also mostly ballpark. We’re leading the AC in walks, which is kind of odd, we’ll take it. Every run helps.

Pythag games still at -5, Mr. RNG still owes us some games. Meh.

In the Doghouse:
Bryce Harper (still)
Johnny Sain (bullpen)

[Lemandria]

Adventures in Mediocrity

10-17 for July (as predicted, a tougher month). Which erases our Apr wining streak and brings us to an exciting .500. 2nd in division, 5 1/2 games back, 15th overall, wild card hopes fading.

I’ve decided what to do with Nails (Lenny Dykhead); he’s platooning in left with Dihigo. Shouldn’t take him long to learn the position defensively, and finally settling on a realistic answer to the perennial LF problem I’ve had ever since the Bonds days. Eventually, a defensive plus, and one that the team sorely needs.

I continue to drop one-run games left and right (8-27, .229), and I must assume it’s largely a defense issue; the reliever numbers don’t support blaming the pen. LennyD will hurt us in the short term, but that shouldn’t last too long, and Dihigo is a 103 in Left so he’s more than adequate.

Lenny’s lighter bat won’t help us much. He’s just a band-aid. How can a guy that quick be such a bad base runner? Maybe he’ll find a role as a three-position defensive sub, but Dihigo already does that, and he’s quicker.

If Nails doesn’t work out after a season or two, we’ll have to reach down and dredge the Bonds gold card up from the days of penguins past.

Doghouse:
Gonna go with Severino this month, whose numbers are crap, and he’s ice cold. Mussina’s numbers are also crap, but he’s still pitching himself out of that early-season hole and slowly improving.
Bryce Harper, gone. No patience with him, and he’s never going to displace RF. Useless (to me) spare part who’s never hit up to his ratings.
Fred Clarke, gone. Another card that’s never hit up to the ratings, and a defensive minus.
Yount again, are you tired old fella?

[Lemandria]

End of Season, 2057

We redefined mediocre this year, all three teams finished dead middle of their respective leagues. I guess that means they’ve found their levels.

The Brutes are the only team maintaining a cash position, for now they’re just banking away the assets acquired. Tomato was designed to advance very slowly from the beginning, and they’re lucky to see one new upgrade per season. (None for 2057.) They convert cash to packs, and wait for historical players to appear. The historical players don’t.

New Orleans is just stagnant. After working themselves into a no-cash-flow hole, now we’re spending all of our PP on collections…so yeah, we’ll get there, but it will take some time.

Advancement is slow if you choose not to play Auction House instead of Baseball.

83-79 for the season, 2nd in division, 14th overall. The only notable thing we accomplished this season was training Lenny Dykstra more-or-less fully in LF (currently 99), where he platoons with Dihigo. Next season it’ll probably be Dykstra/Cedeno and Dihigo/Vinson, or maybe trade the RH bats depending on where I decide to leave the weakest defenders.

Doesn’t feel ideal, but that generates the most defense, without giving up tooooo much Stick; the whole point of playing Nails at all.

Runs allowed: 607 (1st) Runs scored: 734 (8th). So in terms of defense, feels we’re okay now.

Next problem to tackle, the Infield?

:crickets chirp:

[Lemandria]

Uh oh

Was combining the deadball park and a defensive OF a mistake? Because we’re leading the division (barely, +1/2 game). Imagine what we could do with an infield!

Eh, looks like the hitters got off to a warm-ish start. We’ll probably slump out of this after Apr (as we typically do). Wouldn’t be too worried about Perfect promotion again just yet.

16-10 for April (.615), 1st division, 6th overall (tie). Starters are getting abused a bit, bullpen doing great. Hitters are objectively not hitting that terrific, but they’re above benchmark for the ball park–at least so far. The OF is murdering the ball, 1st and 3rd doing well, and the middle infield (as usual) is not.

[Lemandria]

May 31

14-13 for May, leaving us—surprisingly—a half game in front of the division and 7th overall.

The team pursuing us seems determined to overtake and definitely appears (his 100 Trout, Yellich, Schmidt, and Lindor proclaims) to have the goods. He’s got 11 losing seasons in PeL, before tanking his way allllllll the way back down to Iron and then back up again. Call them his “crosstraining” seasons, because surely there’s a perfectly rational explanation.

Anyway, my fragile grasp on the division title seems preordained to fail. We can blame Severino (2-7 and stone icy cold) for this state of affairs, but it probably isn’t his fault. We can look to the hitters not performing (like Giles completely Mendoza-ing away his shot at full time SS job away) but it’s probably not his fault.

We were gonna get rolled this season, regardless. Call it a crosstraining season.

The OF experiment seems to be working out pretty well, and we can win at home playing the deadpark wars. We still need a hard nudge to get the infield out of the gutter, but that particular reclamation project is still at least a season away.

[Lemandria]

Jul 1

Pleased to announce that, at least thus far, we’ve held off the pursuit and we maintain the precious 1/2 game divisional lead.

We’re trying experiments in maximizing the defense, playing in a deadball park. I’m sure that’s costing us some road games, but (at least thus far) the home games appear to balance. It guarantees that our offensive numbers will never, ever be outstanding–but defense is the way to go when you’re playing deadball.

So Yount and Sandberg, our veteran infield, are both enjoying relaxing vacations in the reserves, while more defensive substitutes hold down the middle infield–Lindor at SS and Giles at 2B. This is (offensively) much inferior but…I wasn’t getting much production out of the middle infield anyway. Essentially, B to A defense, C to D offense.

I just wish they could bunt…heh.

In June, 13-14. How are we holding a lead? Dunno, but it’s working thus far. Pythagoras says we should be at 41-41, and we’re actually at 43-39. The one-run ball games are tilting in our direction, this season. We are not, as you might imagine, running away with the overall standings (currently 10th) playing .524 ball.

It’s a very calm way to play baseball. Just not good for the television cameras or all-star selections.

Who’s doing their jobs? Dick Allen, our new first base platoon and sometimes DH (from the White Sox collection) is hitting the ball well. Nails and Cedeno and Brock and Betts all producing, they seem to be thriving on deadball. Possibly because I’m not hurling water coolers and abuse at them?

As far as the pitchers are concerned, Jim Palmer is having a standout year, Greinke is throwing well, Mussina’s all right. The relief staff is absolutely loving our home games.

We are holding our own in a very competitive league this season. Very awful league, I suppose, by PeL standards. There is a single team running away with a .700+ season, and 29 teams between .402 and .573.

That’s a pretty heavily contested anyone-could-win sort of season, and it’s everything that PeL is not.

Next experiment: Robin Ventura at 1B. He'll train up to Keith Hernandez+ defense (eventually), w/better bat.

And we've got Brooks Robinson to win the GG at 3rd (maybe, some day), or after Ventura's trained at the other corner, we might do a Ventura/Robinson platoon. Or we can train Brooks to play 1st, 2nd, and SS. The possibilities of cross-training are just fascinating.

[Lemandria]

Aug 1

All Star came and went, Nails got an RBI, Palmer pitched a scoreless inning. Yawn.

As expected, the contenders finally caught and passed me. We aren’t playing poorly, about the same really. But you can’t stop the team(s) filled with perfects when they try to reach PeL again. 13-13 for July, 3rd in division, 11th overall.

Ventura slowly gaining ground as a first baseman, he’s up to 30 at the position. Outfielders all finished with positional training and settled in nicely. Team zone rating (including Ventura bumbling around at first) is +11.0, probably about as high as it will reach. Defeff, fairly meaningless, says we’re in a deadball park–which we are! Surprise!

Looks like a .500-.550 range season, we’re fairly immune to streakiness because of the park, but hardly wowing the fans with the offense. Nails might win a Glove in center, perhaps–but we expect nothing less, or he doesn’t play. +12.5 ZR, 1.000 pct, 1.104 eff 5 assists. He’s competing with Andruw Jones (won 9 times), tho, so probably not.

We’ve achieved everything we can defensively, I think. Ventura needs more time, but he’ll arrive at Keith Hernandez level (more) eventually.

Probably beginning next season we’ll start working some Sticks back into the lineup here and there and there. The pitchers are whining about run support, and they should be–it’s pretty miserable. Still a positive rdiff, though, so doesn’t look like their poor numbers are entirely due to the hitters.

Starters should be thriving in this environment, but they aren’t. Perhaps it’s time to overhaul the staff. Where did I put Dizzy Dean, he should enjoy pitching here? See who else I’ve not languishing in the reserves who might deserve a second look.

[Lemandria]

Aug 12

Yesterday, the much-anticipated rookie phenom Max Scherzer arrived at the Igloo, and held a brief press conference with reporters.

Today, Max pitched his very first game in a New Orleans tuxedo. In a masterful performance, Max threw 8.2 innings of shutout ball, 6 hits and 11 Ks. Strasburg struck out the final hitter on five pitches to nail down the (shared) shutout against our potent division rivals CT BLOODSHOTHOOLIGANS.

If the rest of Scherzer’s career is anything like his first win for New Orleans, he’s got a dazzling career ahead of him.

[That’s right, the DeGrom Curse is finally over, and we have a usable Ace to anchor our wayward and unfocused rotation, at long last.]



The first genuinely good news for this somewhat cursed franchise in quite a while.

[Lemandria]

Sep 1

Buoyed by the good Scherzer news, the team surged ahead with another stunning .500 month. Heh.

13-13 for August, situation largely unchanged in any major way. Defense is among the best, pitching is among the best (of course). Offense is below average (of course). All of these are park factors.

The season saw another rookie start, Cisco Carlos, whose debut went a little less well. He has some raw talent but rates out, generously, as a number 4. He won’t be our savior.

Division T-2nd, 5 1/2 GB. Overall 12th. Looks like we’re wild-carding our way into any playoff tree, if we make it there at all. Currently a game and a half out of that race, too.

We need a winning streak in Sept, fellas. Mediocre Ball is fun and all, but we need some accumulated wins.

[Lemandria]

9-29

Well, sports fans, you say you wanted some actual competition instead of what happens in PeL? We’ve got it for you today!



Narrow 1/2 game lead, all of our head-to-head games are finished, each of us finishes vs. teams already eliminated. For me: 1 off day, then 3 games to play. The others play four without a rest.

It’s a coin flip. Just glancing over the talent, I’d go with the Hooligans. The Penguins have the easiest schedule, says the WinP’s, and start with the narrow lead. The Kits experienced a horrible September thus far to not have locked it up two weeks ago, but they lead it for most of the season.

We went 16-9 for the month just to reach contention, and I fear we may have used up our luck.

And it’s late and I’m tired and the stress is just too too too much.

Reminder: this is the League with one team that broke .600 and one team that came in under .400. The entire league, entire season is this tight.



9-30, 3 games to play. Cisco Carlos v Shane Bieber @Gulf Igloo. Carlos hammered.



10-1, 2 games to play, division all tied up. Max Scherzer v Hal White @Gulf Igloo. Hooligans being listed first means they get home field for any tiebreaker. Must-win.



10-2, 1 game to play, 1 game lead. Mike Mussina v Van Mungo @Gulf Igloo. Must-win to avoid possible tiebreaker and clinch.

I honestly don't know what happens in a tie scenario, here. Or worse: 3-way tie. Let's avoid that, okay Moose?

Nope.



Division tie. Shane Reynolds v Aroldis Chapman for all the marbles. Mr. Commisioner: We’d like to report another instance of Reliever Cheese.Or maybe just an Opener.

Sigh, no confidence in this one.



Oh god, now we have to play a series. My heart.

[Lemandria]

Tomato Division

Sacramento celebrated their divisional victory by winning a tournament with Tomato Team Silver.


As of this moment, tied for 1st overall with the Suedenim Secret Police (Brixton_Gunn), our most likely opponent for a silver series (by no means guaranteed, of course).

Brutes headed back to Silver

After a very disappointing season for Vancouver fans, the Brutes will be headed back down to Silver next season.


“The hitting just never came together this year,” said the General Manager. “And our pitching isn’t up to the job of Gold, either.”


When we spent PP this season, it was on the offense; the pitching isn’t improved at all, which limits the Brute’s upward mobility. We’ve also got a severe RH problem, the batting lineup and rotation are strongly right handed–making us very vulnerable to predominantly RH pitching.


Both issues will be addressed during our rebuild and retool in Silver.


---


Meanwhile, both teams are doing very well, and improving, with their tournament teams.

[Lemandria]

Well...pooh. We won the division series, means we have to watch the rest of the series. And I'm a little sleep-deprived from that nail-biter last night.

Also means we get to go face the Abuse from PeL again. Sigh.

Personally, I thought this last year, particularly, in Diamond was a hell of a lot more fun.

OTOH, we're gonna see the Hooligans in the sub-league, so he'll get his chance at Vengeance.

And ABCDEF (etc,) the wild card, is giving Brooklyn Stars, the team with the year's best record, a fight. All tied up at 2 games each.

Stars hold off the wildcard team.

We're tied up at one game each in the sub league series. So is Sacramento.

[Lemandria]

10-23

Penguins playoff hopes now rest on the rookie pitcher, Cisco Carlos.

In the regular season, New Orleans and the Hooligans went 10-10. In the division race, they ended with a tie break nail-biter.

So it only makes sense that they go to 3 and 3 in the sub-league series.

What a load of pressure for the young pitcher, who finds himself in the unenviable position of starting the pivotal Game 7!

[Lemandria]

10-24 Trout-ed

Too much pressure, and too much Mike Trout, for young Cisco!

I’d like to sincerely congratulate CT BloodshotHooligans. This entire season and particularly the series games, are the most fun I’ve had in quite some time. That was a great, great race wire to wire.

Well played, and good luck against those Stars!