Hittin' them over the pond: A Tale of British & Irish Cities

[PocketsAintFull]

"You know how guys who make it where they're from are called 'Hometown Heroes'?"

"I do."

"Well see, not only are we starting two teams from the British Isles and sending them across the Atlantic to the Perfect Team leagues; we also really love 'Home Runs', and want to hit as many as we can, right?"

"So... what are you saying?"

"We can market ourselves as the 'Homer-Town Heroes'! Get it? Homer-Town Heroes!"

"I'm really glad you're leaving for six months, you know that?"

---------------------------------------

Thus went the conversation between the two brand new owners of the Birmingham Bolts, from Birmingham, England, and Uecker's Underdogs BFF, playing out of Dublin, Ireland, at their marketing & business conference on the Isle of Mann; a highly inconvenient place for the newly-formed 'Pockets Team Headquarters', that yet finds itself roughly, kinda halfway between Birmingham & Dublin.

What with the motorbikes zooming about the place, and the need to catch an early ferry, the only rule the owners managed to scramble together before leaving was that both teams must be 'self-sustainable', presumably owner-speak for 'operated on the cheap'. Both teams would set off on slightly different paths, too, with Uecker's Underdogs BFF operating under 'BFF league rules', including a few more restrictions on things like buying & selling players. Nothing too important then...

(Incidentally, no, we don't know why the team from Dublin named themselves after the long-time radio announcer of the Milwaukee Brewers and star of the film 'Major League'. We do know the owner is a Brewers fan, and took part in a card game with Bob Uecker last Friday, but our efforts to find out more have thus far proved unfruitful)

With the first week of play well underway, and both teams starting in the Rookie level of Perfect Team, many Home Runs have indeed been sent flying 'over the pond', yet one senses that the journey for these two new ball clubs has only just begun...

[Lemandria]

"Tell me--does wood sink in water?"
"No." "No! It floats!"
"Throw her into the pond!"
(crowd cheers)

Sorry, I'll hush up now.

[PocketsAintFull]

Season Review, 2020 (PT Week 1)

A throughly exciting first season has gone by quickly for both teams, though one certainly made out better than the other...

Birmingham Bolts, Rookie .66

90-72, 1st in Division

The Bolts were in a season-long ding-dong for the division, eventually besting the Harlingen Cards by 7 games after a 20-8 September. Their star player was their star signing, SP Bret Saberhagen (92, Peak). A busy opening few days of trading led to the opportunity to bring the famed slinger on board, and boy did he deliver. He threw (deep breath) 261 innings over 34 starts (7.68 avg IP), racked up 272 strikeouts, compiled a 0.87 WHIP, and backed up his ERA crown (2.00 ERA) with a 2.38 FIP. How many WAR does that get you? 10. 10 WAR just for Bret. I think he'll be staying.

On offense, it was surprise package Vic Davalillo (69, 1965 All-Star) who took everyone's attention. Batting from the leadoff spot, the centre fielder clocked a .360 wOBA (.365 OBP) and added 37 stolen bases, setting the table for the rest of the lineup. He also still managed 14 homers and 61 RBI of his own, plus a 32 game hitting streak, for a 7.1 season WAR. Not quite Bret-level but acceptable, certainly.

Other highlights for the Bolts included a Groundball 5-4-3 Triple Play, RF Jay Buhner (82, SE 1996) smashing 17 HR and 52 RBI in just 56 games post All-Star break, and closer Ken Dayley (77, Snapshot 1987) making 36 out of 40 saves. The Bolts will play in Stone level next season, and continue to buy up 'live' players like they're going out of fashion.

Uecker's Underdogs BFF, Rookie .143

73-89, 4th in Division

The level of competition may be slightly higher than normal, being in the BFF 'friends league', but the poor record for the Underdogs still undermines a reasonably fun week. RF Rocky Colavito (88, Snapshot 1958) certainly had fun; in 130 games, he hit 45 homers and 106 RBI, for a 1.011 OPS and 5.5 WAR. He also managed a 7 game streak of homers early in the season, giving a nice financial boost to the team. Converted LF Gavvy Cravath (88, Snapshot 1915) was the other big batter, going for 35 HR and 107 RBI in the clean-up.

The interesting transaction of the season involved the Catcher spot. The Underdogs started the week by hiring Johnny Bench (78, Hardware Heroes 1971), and by all accounts were happy with his production and expecting a reasonably long stay. That was until the catcher became in extraordinary demand on Friday, due to some sort of time-travel experiment where other managers were combining three versions of the poor guy to make a Super Frankenstein Bench. The end result was Johnny leaving the Underdogs for an exorbitant profit, and Yadier Molina (92, Hardware Heroes 2012) being brought in to replace him. My sources in the Underdogs organisation have confirmed it as a 'positive move'. We also hope Mr Bench is not too traumatised by the whole experience.

Uecker's finished the season strong, and have reason for optimism heading into their second Rookie season. Carl Lundgren (83, One Hit Wonder 1907), post-AS SP addition, threw a complete game 'Maddux' in the final week of the season, for only 1 hit and 1 walk, while the team as a whole went 20-11 to finish the year.

[PocketsAintFull]

The Great Merchandising Rush of 2021

The news spread fast throughout the Birmingham Bolts organisation - not only was first-baseman, super-slugger Cecil Fielder going to the All-Star game in Stone .107 League, the big boomer was the NUMBER ONE VOTE-GETTER. Cue a rush to the phones from the Bolts top brass....

"Quick, I need the warehouse on the line!"

"Hi, this is the Birmingham Bolts mail-order warehouse, Ben speaking, how can I...."

"LISTEN Ben, this is big news coming straight from the top - we need Cecil Fielder T-Shirts, Hats, Bobbleheads, Signed Photos, EVERYTHING, you hear me?!?!?"

"Oh, er, hi boss - yeah we can get started on that, but we normally only make stuff to order...."

"Fantastic! We also want to make a point of him being the top vote-getter in the league - can we start naming him King Fielder? Something like that?"

"I can ask the legal department.... thing is, wouldn't that be kind of strange? He's not really a 'King' of anything yet, it's only halfway through the season, even if does have 35 home runs...."

"FINE, fine. Well, how about Prince Fielder then?"

".........Yeah I don't see a problem with that."

[PocketsAintFull]

Season Review 2021 (PT Week 2)

Both teams win their division!

Birmingham Bolts, Stone .107

98-64, 1st in Division

The Bolts tore up the bleachers wherever they played this season, hitting 252 Homers as a team, just 1 shy of the league-leading effort. Cecil Fielder (1B, 80, SE 1991) was a big part of that, thumping 52 HR of his own, plus 136 RBI & .565 Slugging. Birmingham also led the league in Runs Scored (924), and were 2nd in Quality Starts from the rotation (101). It was as tight a division race as you like, going back and forth all year, before the Bolts finished 1 game ahead of the River City Runnin' Rebels.

Four All-Stars went to the Midsummer Classic - Fielder, Bret Saberhagen (SP, 92, Legend 1986), Andrelton Simmons (SS, 81, Live), and Jay Buhner (RF, 82, SE 1996). Saberhagen led the league with 0.9 BB/9 and 253 IP, for a 7.2 WAR. Andrelton Simmons was the surprise package of the season, leading the league for batting WAR with 7.8, posting a .355 OBP, and racking up 204 Hits. Jay Buhner would have had an outstanding year for the ages were he on any team but Cecil Fielder's - Buhner 'only' managed 41 HR and 117 RBI.

Shoutout to Vic Davalillo (CF, 69, Historical AS 1965), who once again played well above his reputation, leading off the lineup with a .300 AVG and 61 RBI. Many new faces joined the team through the season, including C Jason Varitek (who had an 8 RBI game in May), 2B Ian Kinsler, SPs Eddie Plank and Juan Guzman, and RP Ryan Pressly (who pitched 8.2 IP of shutout ball during the run-in).

As the list above suggests, the Birmingham side are well into the Collecting Missions strategy, and will be able to add 1B Jeff Bagwell to the lineup for 2022! CF Ichiro Suzuki is yet to be confirmed as staying or going...

Uecker's Underdogs -BFF, Rookie .129

90-72, 1st in Division

Dublin's finest learned from a tough opening week in Rookie to bounce back with a division title, winning a tight race in the NC East by 3 games from their two main rivals, Ruffryder Pack -BFF, and Laramie Mustangs -BFF.

Three All-Stars came from the roster, in the shape of Yadier Molina (C, 92, Hardware Heroes 2012), DJ LeMahieu (2B, 86, Live), and firm fan-favourite Rocky Colavito (RF, 88, Snapshot 1958). Some key stats from the All-Stars - Molina caught 40.5% of base-stealers, LeMahieu led the team with 176 hits, batting .300, and Rocky did what Rocky does, with 39 HR and 114 RBI.

One notable shoutout to Tim Raines (LF, 80, Historical AS 1987), who joined the team this year, and stole 57 bases in 66 attempts(!), and another to Scott Spiezio (1B, 67, Snapshot 2002), who brought in a .356 OBP and 78 RBI from the 9th batting spot!

Certainly the Underdogs are proud of their record so far in the 'BFF leagues', but it's not going to get any easier moving on up...

[PocketsAintFull]

2022 Season Starting Lineups announced

The Birmingham Bolts of Iron .163!

Suzuki, Bagwell, & Longoria join the batting lineup, fresh from their Collection Mission packs, as does Joe Nathan at Closer. Berrios & Alvarado are also new in the pen. Plank is promoted to Opening Day starter over Saberhagen.



The Uecker's Underdogs BFF of Stone .184!

Rizzo & Machado look to bring improvement to the corner infielder spots. Arroyo, Yde & Bahnsen are new in the rotation, while Rogers takes over Closer duties from Dayley.



Time to Play Ball!