Oakland A's 2024 And Beyond Dynasty

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
21 February 2028
Offseason moves leave A's fans worried
By Lou Singh-Hismarbles, troublesome GM signings correspondent

A year ago, as Oakland general manager Paulie Beane basked in the glow of a fourth straight World Series triumph, A's fans were worried their GM might decide to leave the club. Now, they're concerned he might have completely lost his touch. As Beane yesterday indicated he was probably done with trades and signings ahead of the 2028 season, many pundits were quick to take to the airwaves to assert that the A's had had a poor offseason, and had taken a step backwards. Beane was equally quick to point out that many of these pundits were only in the media world because they weren't capable enough to get a job running a baseball team, but nevertheless there was a clear sense among even the staunchest A's fans that getting back to the top of the game may be a long road for their legendary manager.

Beane lost shortstop Josh Morgan and living legend Jose Fernandez to free agency, and replacing them was clearly his biggest offseason priorities. But his first move took everyone by surprise. He moved to strengthen his offense by away trading centre fielder Eddie Holland, who had a disappointing year in 2027, to Tampa Bay, and in return acquiring four-time all-star outfielder Luis Guzman. Guzman, 28, is principally a left fielder but will play centre for the A's. Drafted in round 1 by the Rays in 2022, he has a .908 career OPS mark. Outfielder Jim Thompson, infield backup Ketel Marte and minor league relief pitcher Brandon MacPherson also left the Coliseum as part of the deal. Also joining Oakland is 23-year-old minor league centre fielder Jimmy Cochran. The fickle fans somehow managed to be both gutted to lose Holland and ecstatic to obtain Guzman. Make your minds up, freakshows! Journalists, bloggers and sub-editors were appalled at the prospect of having Guzman and near-namesake Alejandro Gusman on the same team. The $15m per year Gusman, sorry I mean Guzman, was headed towards free agency after 2028, but Beane rapidly signed him up for a further three seasons at that wage.

Fernandez's departure left Oakland's quota of Jose's in the pitching staff at an unacceptable two: Jose Duran and Jose Martinez. Beane swiftly addressed this crucial problem, as well as the less important issue of disappointing righty relief displays last year, by signing veteran free agent Jose Dominguez. Dominguez was also at Tampa Bay previously, acting as an occasional closer, and was an all-star in 2022 and 2024. The 37-year-old signed on the dotted line for one year at $4m. A's fan spokesman O. Clandmad said he agreed the club can never have too many Jose's on the roster, so was very pleased by this move.

But Beane's moves to replace Morgan and Fernandez have been heavily criticised. In for Morgan is free agent Riley Unroe, a 32-year-old switch-hitter who was an all-star in 2023, but defensively sound rather than defensively unimpeachable as Beane normally requires of his shortstops. Unroe will in fact play second base, with Alejandro Guzman, sorry I mean Gusman, moving to shortstop. Defensively inept, to put it mildly, not long ago, Guzman, sorry I mean Gusman, has become an inspiration for malcoordinated kids everywhere. Through sheer hard work and practice, he has become not just decent, but excellent in the infield. Time will tell whether Beane is right to now trust him in the vital shortstop position.

In for Fernandez is lefty pitcher Jon Dixon. The 29-year-old was the third overall draft pick in 2021 by St. Louis but has never quite lived up to that potential. He has career marks of a 49-60 win-loss record and 5.21 ERA. Paulie Beane signed the free agent to a ludicrous three-year deal for $9.5m per year. The typical Oakland fan's reaction to Dixon's signing appeared to be: "What the smeg is Beane doing? Is he drunk? Seriously. Dixon?" Most presumed Beane would simply promote young lefty Ramon Mendoza into the rotation. Beane explained that he feels Dixon will do rather better with Oakland's quality defense behind him, and also felt Mendoza isn't quite ready for the show yet, and if nothing else Dixon's addition will add rotation pitching depth. Beane added that he felt Unroe and Dixon were the best available free agent options in their respective positions who did not have Type A status; he protects his draft picks more aggressively than a female swan protects her cygnets.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
9 April 2028
Problems mount for Beane as Oakland's farm system deteriorates
By E. I. E. I. O. Old-MacDonald, farm system correspondent

Years of picking late in the draft look to be finally taking their toll on Oakland's minor league strength. Part of what made Paulie Beane's performance as general manager all the more impressive in recent years is that he built a strong farm at the same time as producing a dominant major league team. But Beane's knack of defying the gravity of the draft system may finally be wearing off. After posting up to nine prospects on BNN's Top 100 list the last few years, suddenly Beane is down to just three.

Some of that is of course down to Beane's willingness to promote and play his youngsters. The likes of Nathan Hamilton, Javier Cruz and Ramon Mendoza no longer appear on the list because they are, or have, spent decent chunks of time, on the active roster so aren't eligible. Meaning that Oakland's three entries this year, reliever Gonzalo Avila (#16), shortstop Liam Brown (#48) and outfielder William Morris (#86), can have every confidence Beane will throw them into the big leagues at some point.

Beane said at yesterday's press conference, "I'd hoped that Josh Morgan and Jose Fernandez would bring us additional early draft picks once they signed on as free agents with other teams. But the buggers only went and signed for Cincinnati and Minnesota, who both have protected first round picks due to being so drastically awful last year. In this game, I don't fancy my chances that the extra supplementary and second round picks I'll get as consolation will bring me anyone of any quality." He then predictably launched into a long and tiresome tirade about the poor quality of the drafts he faces as an MLB Manager, but your correspondent was one of the many reporters who fell asleep before the end of his lengthy, irrational and often foul-mouthed monologue.

Before I dozed off, I did catch that Beane announced he'd signed veteran starting pitcher Ariel Jurado and ageing shortstop Richard Urena, both 32, as back up strength for the minor league roster.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
10 April 2028
A's in trouble as squad looks weaker than for several years
Our resident champion of hope and optimism, Noah Hope-Andbobhope, gives us his assessment of the 2028 Oakland roster.

Rotation: Cemented in as the club's new ace is Karl Dickson (26/R/5*, 16-6 WL, 2.91 ERA in 2027), who will probably fail hopelessly at the thankless task of trying to get the fans to forget about Jose Fernandez. Young lefty Nathan Hamilton (24/L/4.5*, 13-10, 3.62) had a breakout season last year. Mid-season acquisition from Milwaukee, Brad Dundee (24/R/4.5*, 11-2, 3.28), completes a trio of excellent young starters, while Ambrose Bailey (29/R/4*, 13-12, 3.60) is a real steady Eddie. Lefty spray pitcher Jon Dixon (29/L/3*, 8-10, 5.69) is a curious free agent signing by Beane, particularly for $9.5m per year, which just looks silly money for someone who would even be described as a mediocre journeyman by his own mother. Ramon Mendoza will be pushing Dixon hard for that fifth rotation spot.

Bullpen: All-star Eric Wright (27/L/4.5*, 2-11, 4.62, 40 SV) had a shaky year in 2027, but the alliteratively-minded amongst you will be delighted to learn that Beane is backing the boy to bounce back big-time. The set-up men are veteran Trevor Gott (35/R/4.5*, 9-2, 3.26), and Jose Duran (24/L/5*, 7-6, 2.86), Oakland's newly crowned Best Player Called Jose. Duran needs to get himself a new agent, however, after he signed a new contract in the offseason for the period through to the end of 2031 for a mere $3m per year. Middle relief looks stronger than last year, but frankly it could hardly be worse. Lefty Roy Ellis (25/L/5*, 4-2. 4.37) and Jose Martinez (24/R/5*, 1-3, 5.45) are rated as lights-out relievers by scouts, but pitched last season more like lights-off with no one at home. They need to bounce back too. Beane's signing of elderly Jose Dominguez (37/R/4*, 4-3, 3.71) did not exactly shout 'youth policy' but he looks a solid acquisition. No one can quite fathom how soft-tossing Melvi Salazar (33/R/4*, 0-0, 3.62) is effective, but he is, so Beane is sticking with him. Oakland have, as ever, minor league depth, with lefty Gonzalo Avila the pick of the bunch. Ellis and Wright need good seasons or else Avila could force one of them out.

Catcher: Walking typo Jakson Reetz (32/R/4*, .313 OBP, 9 HR, 72 RBI in 2027) enters his fourth season as Oakland's catcher and starts whenever he's fit. Dylan Johnston (27/S/2*, .259, 0, 1) currently has the nod over Pedro Trinidad as backup.

Infield: At first base, Matt Olson (34/L/2*, .309, 20, 79) is fairly useless these days, but has 10/5 rights and can't field anywhere else, so Beane's stuck with him. He platoons with great-eyed, powerful, waft-at-thin-air specialist Leon Aponte (28/S/4*, .316, 9, 24). Flimsy free agent Riley Unroe (32/S/1.5*, .352, 6, 65) is a former all-star but now firmly in the "below average" category and will play second base. Alejandro Gusman (25/L/5*, .410, 11, 48) bats lead off, and has made an astonishing improvement defensively from being a useless sack of spuds a year or two ago to starting shortstop. He is not the quality of defender Beane usually wants in this position, so it'll be interesting to see if this is a permanent arrangement. Patrick Snel (27/L/4*, .329, 12, 87) wants to bat lead off too, but won't, because he's not as good as he thinks he is. He shares third base duties with veteran free agent Richard Urena (32/L/2.5*, .287, 1, 18). Prospect Liam Brown and career reserve Rich Weaver are pushing hard for a roster spot.

Outfield: Hunky incredible hulk Javier Cruz (25/L/4.5*, .319, 42, 111) certainly does clean up from the clean-up spot, and plays right field not particularly well. Four-time all-star Luis Guzman (28/L/5*, .379, 40, 100) isn't super hot at centre field, but offensively is a big upgrade on predecessor Eddie Holland and could become loved by his new fanbase on the west coast. Oakland's left fielder is their most humorously named player, Brad Bradford (28/L/2*, .344, 13, 53). Dennis Hawkins (26/L/4*, .366, 21, 118) has matured into a super batter but is Billy Butler-esque in his alleged corner outfield position, so plays designated hitter. Completing Oakland's quintet of current or former all-star outfielders is Martin Wilson (26/R/1*, .286, 5, 30), but he's lost his way a bit and is on the active roster purely because he's the only righty and excellent as a defensive reserve. No offense, Marty! Lefty corner outfielder William Morris wants to cheekily nab a roster spot from one of his colleagues.

Oakland certainly have some superb players, but they have weak spots, especially in the infield, and don't have the depth of seasons past. Paulie Beane is a man not known for staying level-headed when his team underperform, so get ready for some fireworks at his post-match press conferences and booming whisky sales in the Coliseum district if the A's struggle as I think they will. Clearly Beane's job is completely safe, and owner Ban-ki Rupt has reportedly told him he'll be happy with an over .500 season. That strikes me as a reasonable prediction.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
24 April 2028
Great opening fortnight for A's delights Beane, but worries over Dundee
By Wanda Fulstuff, hot starts correspondent

Oakland GM Paulie Beane openly admits that his team has surpassed all his expectations with their terrific start to the season. He said yesterday he had so often dropped his jaw open in amazement at the players' displays during that period, that he had accidentally swallowed more than a dozen flies. Oakland lost yesterday to Seattle, but nevertheless sit proudly on top of the American League West division with a fine 9-3 record.

It is the offense that has really led the way. Newly acquired superstar Luis Gusman, sorry I mean Guzman, has had a slow beginning to his career at the Coliseum, but the rest of the lineup has been firing on all cylinders. Pick of the bunch has been catcher Jakson Reetz, who is as surprised as anyone else that he is sporting a .451 on-base percentage and 1.118 OPS mark. Honourable mentions also go to shortstop Alejandro Gusman, who has an even better .475 OBP and has already stolen 11 bases, and third baseman Patrick Snel. No one saw these performances coming.

The traditionally strong A's rotation has been a disappointment overall, however, and will be of concern to Beane. Nathan Hamilton and, surprise surprise, Jon Dixon have not been at the races, but most worrying of all is Brad Dundee. In 3 starts so far this season, the 24-year-old righty has only got through 6.1 innings of work and been smacked for 15 runs, giving him a downright diabolical ERA of 21.32. Literally, my granny could do better than that. There is no chance of Beane trading the horrific hurler, given his young age, high ceiling potential and minimum salary status, but he will be looking closely at Dundee's next few starts. Reserve pitching Ramon Mendoza is itching for an opportunity.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
12 May 2028
Wilson injury prompts Beane into trades for defensive upgrades
By O. Nowhatshedonenow, iffy roster moves correspondent

Well, no one can legitimately say that when Paulie Beane decides to make a change, he doesn't go for it with all guns blazing. What they can legitimately say, however, is that he appears to be becoming ever more panicky and short-termist as he attempts to return to the top of MLB. Indeed, some Oakland fans are worried they might be witnessing the start of the slow sabermetric meltdown of their once-legendary GM.

Beane has been taken aback by his team's dire defense this year. Usually less permeable than a metre-long block of lead, this season they have been leaky as heck. Their defensive efficiency mark of .685 ranks 10th in the American League, and that's the highest it's been all season. Beane's tough on the eye but highly effective 'tight defense with great pitching' philosophy demands they rank rather higher. Oakland's 17-12 record so far has, in Beane's increasingly whisky-powered mind, masked significant flaws in the team.

The hamstring injury to outfielder Martin Wilson in yesterday's 2-1 loss to Seattle seems to have been the catalyst that forced Beane's hand. That left him with no right-handed outfield batters on the roster or even in contention for a roster spot. Beane pulled the trigger on trades with Atlanta and the LA Dodgers. The main pieces coming to Oakland are a pair of Juans. Juan Torres (26/R/2.5*, drafted 2025 rd 1 by Seattle) is a speedster centre fielder who makes half-decent contact. Juan Jimenez (27/R/3* , drafted 2018 rd 1 by Atlanta) is superb anywhere in the infield and takes the A's starting shortstop role. Luis Guzman moves from centre to right field, while Alejandro Gusman moves from shortstop back to his favoured second base position. Moving the other way in the trades were underdeveloped outfielder Robert Perry, reserve pitcher Ariel Jurado, and, in a crushing blow to funny computer generated name fans, left fielder Brad Bradford. A few Joe Nobody minor leaguers also formed parts of the deals.

Introducing his two new Juans at yesterday's hastily-arranged press conference, Beane was swift to refute accusations the quick-fire trades hinted at a panicky lack of strategy from him and his organisation. "Au contraire. I'm finally thinking clearly again", he said with the air of a mad scientist whose first fifty attempts to create a vanishing potion had failed disastrously but was convinced the fifty-first was foolproof. "My world championship-winning ball clubs had league leading pitching and defense. Our offense was usually only average, but that was as good as it needed to be. I realise now that over the last year or two, my attempts to strengthen our offense have meant we've moved away from this core philosophy. No offense intended to these new boys' batting, but while the lineup will be less productive with them in it, I expect us to be defensively much, much improved. Plus, we only had one Juan in the entire organisation, and now we are up two a much more reassuring three."

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
22 May 2028
Smug Beane delighted with new players' impact
By U. C. I. Wasright, smugness correspondent

Oakland GM Paulie Beane had a very hittable "I told you so" look on his face throughout last night's post-match press conference. His A's team had just beaten Tampa Bay 5-3, to complete a 5-0 week where they swept Arizona and the Rays. There has been considerable speculation in recent days, mainly fuelled by disreputable newspapers and social media bloggers with nothing constructive to do, about Beane's state of mind following his snap trades for centre fielder Juan Torres and shortstop Juan Jimenez. It was clear that Beane, however, feels his team's form since the trade, which has seen the A's improve to 23-14, 4.5 games back in the American League West division from red-hot Houston, has justified his methods and his decisions.

He refused to answer any questions about his state of mind, saying only, "Five world championships, and yet media commentators and armchair managers still question everything I do. As Sartre didn't quite say: hell is other people, especially when those other people are baseball pundits."

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
1 June 2028
Weak draft class leaves A's unable to restock farm system
By U. Sless, draft correspondent

Oakland general manager Paulie Beane was left fuming after he did not get the quality and quantity of prospects he'd expected for in today's amateur draft. Insiders say that, as staff dived for cover and surreptitiously tried to remove anything throwable from out of his reach, Beane just sat in his office and broiled. At once point, it is said, he simply ripped apart his latest stress ball.

Beane's first round pick was Carl Bates, a right-handed starting pitcher out of high school who scouts project to being a very useful starter in future. In truth, Beane had little option but to draft Bates, as he was far and away the best player left on the board when it came to Oakland's selection. Beane had hoped for a couple more first round picks following the departure of type A free agents Jose Fernandez and Josh Morgan, only for them to sign for Minnesota and Cincinnati respectively, who had protected top-10 picks. That meant Oakland instead got supplementary round and second round picks as their compensation, but: "There was no talent whatsoever left when it came to these picks. Sometimes I hate this game's draft system. Well, I say sometimes; I mean always", Beane wailed.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
8 June 2028
A's sign superstar pitcher Vargas from Philadelphia
By F. Ing-Aytrade, incredible trades correspondent

The whole baseball world sat up and took notice when a smiling general manager Paulie Beane announced the news. Superstar starting pitcher Lucio Vargas, the 30-year-old six-time all-star, the two-time National League Cy Young winner, now pitches for the Oakland A's.

Oakland have been rumoured to be interested in Vargas for several seasons, and are reported to have been in intense discussions with the Phillies on a number of occasions, only for both sides to be unable to agree a trade package. It seems that the trigger for Beane's attempt to make a trade for Vargas again now was his negotiations to extend the expiring contract of starter Ambrose Bailey. Beane explained to reporters that Bailey and his agent, Scott Boredass, opened negotiations by seeking a four-year contract worth $20m per year. That represents more than a doubling of his current salary and substantially more than Beane was willing to pay. Beane laughed Bailey and the agent out of his office and immediately picked up the phone to work out the trade with the Phillies.

Moving to Pennsylvania in exchange for Vargas are Bailey, veteran reliever Trevor Gott and infielder Riley Unroe. Gott's contract was also up after this year, and, with a 4.91 ERA, seemingly was childishly unable to reconcile himself to not being Oakland's closer. Although, given Eric Wright's erratic form, some might say he had a point. Unroe had lost his place in the lineup after Juan Jimenez's acquisition, and was clearly considered to be expendable. Reliever Scott Todd and infielder Rich Weaver replace Gott and Unroe on the active roster.

The number one overall pick in the 2019 draft, Vargas has a highly impressive 144-70 career record, and has probably been the best National League pitcher over the last five or six years. In 12 starts this year, the righty has a 7-3 record and 2.87 ERA. He is under contract for the next two and a half years at a decidedly club-friendly $15.7m per annum. Getting him to sign that contract was a rare moment of strategic brilliance from the Phillies organisation; but now undone by going and trading him. Beane was probably even more excited about the trade than Oakland's ecstatic fans. He said, "I'm absolutely delighted to have Lucio at the club and heading up our already strong rotation. My only concern is that my excessive drooling over his stats might lead me to short-circuit my iPad." Oakland are 31-23 and hold a wildcard spot. Beane will be hoping Vargas's arrival will help consolidate that position this season and push on again next year.

Phillies fans were distraught at the loss of their star player. A club spokesman denied rumours that Ruben Amaro Jr had been rehired by the club to oversee the negotiations with the A's concerning Vargas's trade, saying: "Our Computer AI software told us this would be a good trade to make. Had Ruben been involved we would probably have lost at least another one or two all-stars in the package, I expect."

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
1 July 2028
Dickson and Vargas lead Oakland's postseason push
By Per Fect-Pitching, shutouts correspondent

After his 6-hit shutout exhibition in Oakland's 6-0 victory over the Texas Rangers last night, A's starter Karl Dickson was quick to credit new arrival Lucio Vargas with helping him strengthen his game. Dickson has responded well to being pushed down from the top of the rotation spot by Vargas, and quashed rumours of any tension between the pair.

Dickson and Vargas have rapidly formed a two-headed monster atop the A's rotation and have terrorised opposition batters in their starts over the last three weeks. Vargas himself has made a predictably fast start to life in the A's organisation, posting a 2-0 record and 1.94 ERA in four starts for the club. "Lucio has helped me a lot with my game already since my arrival, and he and I get on absolutely great", he said, slickly displaying his intensive media training. "In him and Jose Fernandez, I've now played with arguably both the two greatest pitchers of the Dynastic Era of Baseball; how can that not help my own game?"

The pair's performances have helped Oakland push on to a 42-32 record, good enough for the second American League wildcard spot. They remain second in the American League West, and, after briefly falling to 11 games back of the Astros a month ago, now sit within striking distance at 6 games behind.

Meanwhile, fellow starter Jon Dixon has so far confounded all the preseason doom-mongers about his signing by putting together a very tidy first half of the season. In 14 starts, he has gone 6-2 with a 3.29 ERA mark that ranks only narrowly outside the top ten in the AL. GM Paulie Beane said, "I always had total confidence Jon would produce the goods for us. Honest, I did. Really. Honest." The man he doth protest too much, methinks.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
7 July 2028
Beane fleeces struggling Angels with trade for infield depth
By U. Wallies, inexplicable computer AI trades correspondent

Oakland have traded away struggling 28-year-old relief pitcher Eric Wright and veteran infield backup Richard Urena to the Los Angeles Angels. The generous package coming back to Oakland in return comprises 25-year-old second baseman Toyokazu Watanabe and 24-year-old first base player Javier Villaneuva.

Both Wright and Urena's contracts were up at the end of this year and were unlikely to be renewed by Oakland. Despite racking up a fair number of saves, Wright was disappointing last season, going 2-11 with a 4.62 ERA and 4.15 FIP. And he has failed to bounce back this term, putting up a 5.53 ERA. He seems to have lost the knack of pitching groundballs towards Oakland's strong infield defense, and had been relegated from the closer roll by Roy Ellis. The trade deadline is approaching and scouts still rate Wright as a 5* reliever so he had trade value. The evidence all added up to a big flashing sign in Beane's head saying "TRADE NOW".

Watanabe takes over as infield reserve and starting third baseman against lefties from the increasingly unfortunate Rich Weaver, who once again returns to the minors. Weaver must have offended Beane in a past life or something, because he simply cannot cement down a spot on the active roster. Watanabe was drafted out of college by the Angels in round one of the 2026 draft. Villaneuva goes to the minor league roster, where coach Ron Washington-Deecy will attempt to develop him into a position to compete with starlet Liam Brown as successor at first base to veteran Matt Olson, who is having an inconsistent season and seems unlikely to be offered a contract extension by the A's beyond this year. Ramon Mendoza takes Wright's bullpen spot.

While the A's stand at an encouraging 46-34, the poor old Angels are having a right old time of it. Veteran Hall of Fame certainty Mike Trout can barely pick up a bat these days, let alone hit anything with it, and the Angels are 29-53, the worst record in the entire American League despite somehow winning their latest five games. The last thing they needed was to losing promising talent to a divisional rival, but Beane has unashamedly taken them to the cleaners. "Stupid muppets, I've no sympathy", was his only comment on the situation.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
17 July 2028
Red hot A's winning run reaches 11 games at all-star break
By L. Evengames-Unbeaten, streaks correspondent

Here we go again. Paulie Beane's A's are the hottest team in baseball right now. At present, they are untouchable from the mound, and devastating at the plate. As players round the league take a breather, or fly halfway across the country for a totally unnecessary game, the A's have extended their current winning streak to 11 games. This last week they destroyed Arizona and Texas 6-0, outscoring their startled opponents by an incredible 53-11. Oakland now stand at 54-34, and have closed to just one game back from Houston, who they swept 3-0 last week to start the streak. They have a 7-game advantage over leading chasers Tampa Bay in the wildcard race.

Given the complete absence of furniture-smashing rampages in recent weeks, it's clear Beane is finally satisfied with his team's pitching and defense. Their 362 runs conceded and 3.57 team ERA both lead the majors. In defense, their effectiveness has improved to .691, 6th in the American League, while their 45 errors committed is another MLB best mark. Beane's trades to acquire strong defensive players Juan Torres and Juan Jimenez, and pitching superstar Lucio Vargas, have paid dividends so far. Vargas is now 4-0 with a 2.09 ERA in seven starts for the club.

It was no surprise, then, to see A's players featuring heavily on the American League all-star roster, which was announced earlier today. Double-headed pitching leviathans Lucio Vargas and Karl Dickson deservedly earned their seventh and second selections respectively. Second baseman Alejandro Gusman and "left fielder" Dennis Hawkins also earned their second call-ups, while right fielder Luis Gusman, sorry I mean Guzman, appears for the fifth time.

There was nearly a serious incident when Beane happened to cast his eyes down the National League roster. What he saw made him fall off his chair in shock, nearly flinging his iPad into his office window as he did so. The cause of his astonishment? Persistently batter-friendly reliever Johnny Jackson and weak-wristed second baseman Ozhaino Albies, both cast unceremoniously aside by Beane after putting up what could at best be described as dire performances for the A's, were picked. "They've gone stark raving mad", Beane said as he attempted to resume a more dignified seating position. Even more realistically, Kansas City relief pitching Bryan Shaw earned his first all-star call-up at the age of 40.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
24 July 2028
It's all happening in Oakland
By Hal Cyondays, great times correspondent

Young left fielder William Morris has been largely a bit-part player for Oakland this season, but the 25-year-old slugger put himself well and truly on A's fans' radar last night as he spanked a walk-off grand slam home run to earn his team a 5-2 victory over the American League East leaders, the Boston Red Sox, at the Coliseum. Ace Lucio Vargas was in typically brilliant form, throwing 7.1 innings for just 1 earned run, but Boston starter Austin DeCarr was equally hot on the night. Boston took a 2-1 lead in the top of the ninth, only to be denied by Morris's heroics.

Although Oakland's winning streak ended at 12 games, after they lost to the Red Sox in the second game of their series, yesterday's win moved the A's to 56-35, and, thanks to Houston's 8-2 thrashing at the hands of Seattle, into joint first place in the AL West division.

There was more good news for Oakland yesterday. Third baseman Patrick Snel secured AL player of the week honours after going 6-8 with 2 homers against Boston. And catcher Jakson Reetz ended speculation about his future by signing a 2-year contract extension for $12m per year. Nice work if you can get it.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
21 August 2028
Neck and neck battle between Oakland and Houston for the AL West title
By Terry Fick-Season, exciting season correspondent

Oakland and Houston fans are enjoying a terrific battle for the 2028 American League West title, as their teams go mano a mano in the race for the divisional pennant and a postseason spot. It's currently advantage A's; but only just. Paulie Beane's boys stand at 73-44, just half a game ahead of the 72-44 Astros. It couldn't be closer. Okay, technically it could be, but it's very exciting nonetheless.

Beane paid tribute to his batting lineup, who have outperformed his expectations so far this season. Their 643 runs scored so far ranks second in the American League. Second baseman Alejandro Gusman is the leader of the offense. The roadrunner has 49 stolen bases, and he's set to smash the single-season franchise record of 55 that he himself set in 2026. His 74 walks jointly leads the entire major leagues. Designated hitter Dennis Hawkins has arguably been the pick of the bunch, however. Hawkins doesn't play against lefties, but has 90 RBIs and a .937 OPS in 100 games. His 118 RBIs last year is another franchise batting record under threat.

Beane told reporters after yesterday's 4-3 loss to the Minnesota Twins that he couldn't quite believe how great the lineup had been this year. "I expected us to be mediocre at best from the plate, but they've stepped up to the, er, plate, and been outstanding. I feel we've hit a sweet spot with this team now; it's just unfortunate that Houston appear to have too." He visibly shuddered when asked his thoughts on the prospect of appearing in yet another wildcard game if the Astros pip them to the title.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
18 September 2028
All set for grandstand finale in the American League West
By I. Theteamcouldwinit, close races correspondent

Fans of the Houston Astros and the Oakland A's are all set for a thrilling end to the season with only three weeks to go. At 90-52 and 92-50 respectively, the two teams are far and away the best in the American League this season. But such is the quirky nature of MLB's divisional structure, that only one of them will qualify for the playoffs automatically, and the other will have to negotiate the ludicrous lottery of the wildcard game.

Oakland GM Paulie Beane's deep-seated hatred of the wildcard game is well known, and often expressed in expletive-laden fashion. Like his Houston counterpart, who is not just entirely fictitious but in the world of an MLB Manager also of unknown name, Beane is desperate to avoid that lucky dip and win the divisional title. Oakland have been unable to shake the tenacious Astros off their tail, who have won their last seven games straight to close the gap to the A's to just two games.

Fittingly, two teams meet with a four-game series, in Houston, to end the season. Everything could come down to that. "I'll be bricking myself if that happens", admitted Beane yesterday. "I'm going to buy myself some spare pants, just in case I accidentally soil any in my nervous excitement. Apologies, I may have shared too much information there."

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
2 October 2028
Hamilton brilliance helps A's to 100 wins, but American League West title fight will go to the wire
By Hugh Dares-Wins, keep calm and carry on correspondent

Starter Nathan Hamilton struggled mightily in August and September. He kept getting picked off by opposing batters as he tired late on in games, and Oakland GM Paulie Beane and field manager Phil D'Manager decided to push him down into the bullpen in favour of fellow lefty Ramon Mendoza. Fortunately for Hamilton, and possibly also fortunately for the A's, Mendoza seems determined to waste every opportunity he gets to cement a place in the starting rotation. After three disappointing Mendoza performances, Beane and D'Manager swapped them over again, and last night, in his first game back in the rotation, Hamilton showed his gratitude in the best way possible: by delivering on the mound.

Hamilton purred through 8.1 innings of work in last night's comfortable 5-1 win over Texas, allowing 8 hits and no walks. He only gave up a single run in the top of the ninth, and that was unearned following an uncharacteristic error from right fielder Luis Guzman, sorry I mean Gusman, sorry no I do mean Guzman, don't I. With one week of the regular season remaining, that win moved Oakland to 100-55. It means the A's have achieved the fourth 100-win season of Beane's dictatorship, sorry, I mean leadership, and a fantastic seventh consecutive 90-win season.

However, the race for the postseason is not yet over. Pesky Houston, displaying more tenacity than a four-year-old at Christmas time trying to rip into a present from their Great Aunt Jean that's unnecessarily been caked in yards of sellotape, simply refuse to go away. They remain just two games back of the A's. It will come down to those final four games where the two challengers will go head to head.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
9 October 2028
OAKLAND WIN THE AMERICAN LEAGUE WEST! Fifth divisional title of Paulie Beane's career
By Will Donelads, pennant correspondent

In the end it was comfortable. After starting the final week by winning two out of three games against divisional wooden spoon winners LA Angels, Oakland entered the crucial final four-game series against Houston needing only to avoid a sweep to clinch the American League West division championship. And they did it at the first time of asking, winning the opening game at Minute Maid Park 6-3. Karl Dickson threw 8 solid innings for 3 earned runs, and teddy bear-loving third baseman Patrick Snel gave the A's their margin of victory with a decisive 3-run home run in the 8th. The title and a postseason place secured, Oakland went on to win two of the remaining three games to finish with a 105-57 record, and a 5-game margin over the Astros. Houston must now face Detroit in the wildcard game.

So that's a wrap on another scintillating regular season, and A's fans can look forward to a seventh consecutive year of postseason competition. The contrast with the mood of the supporters in early May could not be more stark. Back then, with the A's stumbling along and being somewhat fortuitous to reach a 17-12 record, Beane traded for shortstop Juan Jimnez and centre fielder Juan Torres to upgrade his defense up the middle. It looked like the panicky move of a once-great GM who was slowly losing the plot and losing the knack of building winning teams. In fact, Beane was right all along. The arrival of the two Juans galvanised the club, and the later move to ship out solid starter Ambrose Bailey in trade for superstar Lucio Vargas strengthened the team even further. The A's went 63-25 from the start of July onwards. Fan spokesman O. Clandmad said yesterday, "When I said earlier this season that I thought Paulie Beane had taken leave of his senses and had clearly totally lost his GM instincts, what I of course I was saying was that I trusted Paulie's decision-making totally and was convinced that he'd made a sensible move."

Oakland's offense this year has been probably the best it's ever been during Beane's time at the helm. Their aggregates of 894 runs scored and 196 home runs hit are single-season franchise records, as is their .443 team slugging percentage and 215 total stolen bases. Designated hitter Dennis Hawkins remarkably tied his club record 118 RBIs that he set last year, while speedmeister Alejandro Gusman's 63 stolen bases sets a new mark. It almost goes without saying that the team's pitching was league-leading. The team ERA of 3.43 and 623 runs allowed are not club records, but they were both the MLB's best again this year. Oakland's monster #1 and #2 starting pitcher pair, Lucio Vargas and Karl Dickson, led the entire majors in FIP with figures of 3.12 and 3.00 respectively.

So all in all, a highly successful season on the west coast. Beane's reputation is not just intact, but enhanced further. Now, onto the postseason crapshoot.

The final playoff picture is as follows.

American League
AL East winners: Boston (94-68)
AL Central winners: Kansas City (95-67)
AL West winners: Oakland (105-57)
Wild cards: Houston (100-62), Detroit (88-74)

National League
NL East winners: Philadelphia (88-74)
NL Central winners: St. Louis (110-52)
NL West winners: San Francisco (97-65)
Wild cards: LA Dodgers (92-70), Chicago Cubs (87-75)

Bay Area bookmakers have learned their lesson from last year, and have installed Oakland at short odds to reach the World Series. Favourites to win the lot in November are St. Louis, who had the best record in the majors, and achieved a sensational 22-game winning streak in late July and early August.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
19 October 2028
A's squeeze past Red Sox by narrowest of margins in divisional series
By X. Hale, deep breaths correspondent

Well, the playoffs are a crapshoot, but boy can they be incredibly exciting too. In one of the most thrilling postseason series in years, Oakland are through to the American League championship series after a 3-2 win over the Boston Red Sox. Divisional rivals Houston will battle them for a place in the World Series.

The series scoreline doesn't even begin to tell the story. With ace Lucio Vargas on the mound, the A's easily won the opener 7-2. But Boston battled back, winning both the next two closely fought games in extra innings. One can only imagine the destruction done to Paulie Beane's wad of stress balls as he watched events unfold.

Games 4 and 5 can only be described as classics for the ages. In Game 4, Lucio Vargas was on the mound again, in what was a win-or-bust game for Oakland. But three unearned runs following two errors from platoon first baseman Toyokazu Watanabe left the A's 4-1 down after 5 innings and staring down the barrel. But back they came, scoring runs in the 6th and 7th. As the top of the 9th came round, they still trailed 4-3. Time for some heroes. Enter newbies Juan Jimenez and Juan Torres. Jimenez opened the bottom of the 9th with a double. But Leon Aponte and Luis Guzman both got grounded out, and the A's were one out from elimination. Up next was centre fielder Torres, who sensationally singled in Jimenez to keep the game alive, and take us to extra innings yet again. Then, in the top of the 10th, it was that man Jimenez in the thick of the action, as he smoked a three-run homer over the Green Monster to secure the win and take the teams back to Oakland.

And so to last night's deciding game. A's pitcher Karl Dickson was in commanding form, keeping Boston shackled through 7.1 scoreless innings. Oakland took a narrow 2-0 lead through Javier Cruz's RBI double in the 3rd and Jimenez's sac fly in the 6th. It stayed that way into the top of the 9th. Nathan Hamilton, pitching from the bullpen, got two quick outs and this time it was Boston who were one out from going home. The Coliseum crowd got nervy when Red Sox catcher Brian Keller singled, and you could here a pin drop when pinch-hitter Carlos Andres Diaz smashed Hamilton into the stands. 2-2. On to the bottom of the 9th. Matt Olson and pinch-hitter William Morris were walked to open the innings, and Jakson Reetz singled. Bases loaded, no outs. Surely. Lead-off man Luis Guzman gave up a cheap fly out and snail-paced veteran Olson was forced to stay at third. Field manager Phil D'Manager promptly realised he should replace Olson with rather faster pinch-runner Watanabe. But it didn't matter in the end. Third baseman Patrick Snel, already with three World Series rings to his name but wanting a fourth, stepped up to the plate and brought Watanabe home with a single. Eardrums were pierced as the crowd rose to its feet and roared with delight.

What a game. What a series.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
29 October 2028
Brilliant A's regain American League championship crown, face Cubs in the World Series
By Ho-Li Cao, comebacks correspondent

At the start of this season, this newspaper's traditionally ill-informed and sensationalist correspondents predicted that Oakland general manager Paulie Beane had a long road ahead of him to return his club to the top of the game. Well, what on earth do we know? In fact, it's taken him only a season. Oakland have won their showdown against Houston in the American League championship series, and progress to meet the Chicago Cubs in the World Series. The wildcard Cubs squeaked past hot favourites St. Louis 4-3 to reclaim the National League championship pennant that they won last year. It will be their third fall classic of the Dynastic Era but they failed to win either of their previous two, losing to Minnesota in 2021 and Cleveland a year ago. Oakland, by contrast, are making their sixth appearance, and won their previous five.

As the championship series began, it looked like the nervous tension which built up during the Boston marathons was affecting the A's, and things looked bleak when the Astros won the first two games at the Coliseum 4-3 and 8-1. The two teams headed to Houston for the next three games, and the day off for travelling eastwards seemed to give the A's time to gather themselves. Some of Oakland's key batters, such as Luis Guzman, Patrick Snel and Dennis Hawkins, had had disappointing postseasons up to that point, but then suddenly sprang to life. Oakland easily won the next, critical game 11-1, with starter Karl Dickson throwing a complete game in which he generally made the Astros batters look rather silly, and tied the series at 2-2 with a solid 9-6 win in the next.

The next game, then, was crucial. Cometh the hour, cometh the man. Starting pitcher Lucio Vargas showed just why he's so good and why Beane coveted him so much, as he threw a complete game shutout, allowing only 4 hits and no walks. Having won all three games in Minute Maid Park, Oakland were on a roll, and completed the series turnaround with a narrow 3-2 win in the next game, back at the Coliseum. The 34,700 crowd went absolutely bananas when closer Roy Ellis threw a 1-2-3 ninth inning to secure their passage to the World Series.

"I'm not sure my nerves can take much more of this", Beane joked at the post-match press conference. "It would be much less tense if I was just playing this on a computer game rather than managing a real baseball franchise. Wait a minute, this is a computer game. How confusing. Am I myself real or not?" After this remarkable season, A's fans will forgive Beane having a temporary existential crisis.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
7 November 2028
Oakland fall just short as Cubs' 300 year wait for world title comes to an end
By Chick Argocubs, Michigan correspondent

It was billed as Oakland's league-leading defense against Chicago's league-leading offense. And after a momentous tussle, it was the Cubs and their offense who prevailed, winning the series 4-2 to take their first World Series crown since approximately the time dinosaurs ruled the earth. The A's failed to make it a sixth world championship under Paulie Beane's guidance, and settle for the American League title. The Cubs become the first National League winners of the fall classic since Atlanta in 2022.

Chicago's lineup set their stall out right from the start, larroping A's all-star ace Lucio Vargas for 6 runs in 5 innings in the opener at Wrigley Field. The A's struck back, edging the second game 8-7, but the Cubs won game three comfortably. Game Four was the critical one. Starting with Jon Dixon, the man who was much maligned pre-season but far exceeded expectations all year, ahead of Vargas, Oakland took an early 3-0 lead. But the Cubs' lineup dug in, chipping away at Dixon for a run apiece in the 6th and 8th. Closer Roy Ellis came in in the 9th to make the save, but he couldn't get the job done, giving up an RBI triple to last year's NL rookie of the year, catcher Bryan Walsh, and the game went to extra innings. The Cubs then slashed setup man Jose Duran for 2 runs in the top of the 12th, and the series stood at 3-1. Oakland comfortably thrashed a visibly nervous Cubs team 13-3 in the fifth game, so the teams headed back to Wrigley to finish the season. Roared on by a capacity crowd, Chicago's lineup regained their composure and last night secured a 5-3 win.

Oakland's GM Paulie Beane was in a surprisingly philosophical mood at his post-game press conference. "For me, this has been a successful season", he said unconvincingly. "You usually need a fair dose of luck to win the playoffs and we only really got a few droplets. Winning the division and being competitive in the postseason is my aim for every season, and we've silenced the doubters and done that. Anything beyond that is a bonus." He was pressed by reporters about why, if he was genuinely so pleased with his team and not disappointed with the season outcome, was there a skip outside the Coliseum full of what appeared to be various items of destroyed furniture, IT equipment, pot plants and window panes, together with any number of splintered baseball bats. Beane denied he had let his frustration get the better of him while watching the World Series, insisting that he had simply decided to redecorate the office suite in the building. When a reporter suggested that this didn't sound very plausible because sane people simply throw sheets over things when they're painting rather than throwing the entire contents of a room away, Beane declined to comment further.

So that's the 2028 season in the books. Our handful of long-time readers will know this newspaper can only be sporadically bothered to report on the comings and going in Oakland over the offseason, so we'll see you when we see you.

[Paulie123]

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