Mage League Bloodball

[hawaiiansky]

Originally Posted by monkeyman576

Do you frequent fumbbl.com?

Looks like a fun site, But no I haven't played BB online.Thanks for stopping in!

[hawaiiansky]

Thirstday - Peril 16, 2601

Hysterikan League

Dathroat, Mashagain

Home team massacred, crushed, ruined! The Quikargo Fright Sox pulverized five Dathroat flingers for 22 runs and 23 hits to sever their tusks 22-1. Six Fright Sox sluggers had three hits and four of them hit round trippers. Dark Elf SS Tayocet Colddrum banged in five runs in his very first Mage League Bloodball contest, or better yet, conquest. Teammate Nuryrol Fighterfletcher scored 6 runs, a MLB record. SP Orghrot the Ghastly (1-2, 9.43, 12) earned his name –he was horrible giving up 12 runs in five innings. SP Dirgenest (2-1, 2.11, 9) cut through the Tusker lineup flinging a five-hitter over 7 innings; the relief corps no hit the Tuskers the last two. The freebooter flag was lowered to half-mast after the game.

Hurt Baseman Tayocet Colddrum Shirtstop Nuryrol Fighterfletcher
Flinger Orghrot the Ghastly Flinger Tunadai Dirgenest

Fickle Dathroat fans, derided the Tuskers chanting, “Toothless fairies! Follies! Flops!” With this embarrassing defeat, Dathroat (4-6) in 7^th place hung just three games from falling into the 8^th place precipice.

The first-place, bloodball-drooling Fright Sox (8-2) have won 7 of 8, three straight over Dathroat, and appear more than ready to take on the visiting second-place New Ork Yanknecks for a two-game series at home beginning tomorrow. New Ork beware!

Bosstown, Masshooters

Insanes' SP Endal Suden had a three-hit whiteye going for five innings at Funslay Park until Madraider began a five-run rally with a one out gaptooth double to centaur. RF Seibot Kusel lost the ball and his mind in the sun and was charged with an error as Madraider made it all the way home; 2-1 Insanes. That opened the muddy floodgates and four more runs on four singles gave the Red Pox the lead 5-2. The Insanes chipped away and it was 5-4 Pox going into the 9^th. Kamubr Caveslime earned his second save of the season getting Cleavehand out in order 1-2-3 on six flings.

Wightfielder Seibot Kusel

Cleavehand (4-5) is tied with Slashington for 5^th place –top of the second division in the HL! Whoopee! Bosstown in 3^rd is two and half games back of streaking Quikargo.

[hawaiiansky]

[hawaiiansky]

Peril 16, 2601

[hawaiiansky]

Peril 16, 2601

Hysterikan League

Screwloose, Misseri

Bloody-eye View of Warthand’s Park

Warthand’s Park, home to both the Screwloose Bards and Frowns stands on Grand Bullieyard and Dud Ear Streets. The origin of the park name is a complete mystery as are most things in Hysterika are to the dimwitted invaders.

It is enclosed by double-decker stands all around except for a bleacher section in dead centaur field. A 33’ screen rises along the entire wight field section of the park. This area holds the riotous and ultra-drunken Dwarf hordes and prevents them from throwing beer bottles, warclubs or other projectiles onto the heads of the fielders. Club-carrying Skaven blue-licemen frequently patrol the stands braining the more outlandish fans every now and then to keep the situation if not in complete control, at least mildly chaotic.

In elfield, there is an enormous scoreboard, and “eeletrick lights” for night-fright games on metal ladder-like structures surround the park. These lights are the first of its kind in the mager bloodball league parks. Dwarf mechanics had heard about the ancient “electric lights” and assumed that eels were the lighting power source. Eels were found in abundance in the Misseri River when a Dwarf was cooling his beer keg in the water and got a shock from an eel when retrieving the keg. Thus, the eels were gathered in pools under the park and in conjunction with wizardly lore and mechanical prowess, the “eels were tricked” into creating light.

Warthand’s Park’s eeletric lights shined brightly for several innings on Halfling SP Frigrin Applepetal as he amazingly retired the first 11 Frown clubbers in order. The lights seemed to dim a bit when Noilin Darkblade homered to elfield in the 4th, but the Fatlickers were still leading 2-1 after five.

SP Frigrin Applepetal 1B Noilin Darkblade

In the bottom of the 6^th, the lights appeared to go out. Applepetal must have suddenly realized he had a no hitter going because he became a no hotter. He loaded the bases on two walks and a single. Before the inning was over four more singles followed and six runs had crossed home sweet home. The Frowns were rolling 7-2 over the Fats. Unfortunately there wasn’t enough fat if the pan to get a rally going the last three innings and the Fats (1-9) fizzled as usual. Frowns SP Shalekiller (1-1, 2.35, 20) who struck out 11 and walked only one went on to win it 8-4. Fats SP Applepetal (0-3, 7.79, 12) became the MLB first three-game loser and leads the mager leagues in walks with 21. The Fatlickers are marvels at setting negative MLB records.

SP Hoimli Shalekiller

The Frowns (5-5) are in soul possession of 4th place having won 3 of 4 with Killerelfia and next host the toothless Tuskers of Dathroat. Happy to get out of town, the Fats took the grailroad out of Screwloose and set out for a three game series with the Bosstown Red Pox.On the way to Bosstown, the Fatlickers gorged themselves on anything edible as befitting the gluttonous creatures they are.

[hawaiiansky]

Peril 16, 2601

[hawaiiansky]

Peril 16, 2601

Irrational League

Screwloose, Misseri

The Bards were looking to sweep the tottering Tyrants, and it was looking like it would be a neck snap after 6 innings leading 4-0. Boiran Redsmasher (.400, 1, 4) hit a two-run shot in the 2nd and two more scored in the 3^rd off New Ork’s SP Rottentongue. In the 8^th, a walk to Foulstench, a speared-double to elfield by spinach-hitter Tonguebeast (.333, 0, 3) and some spirited base-running made it 4-1. Muckpuke crossbolted a single to centaur and it was 4-2.

Boiran Redsmsher Busedg Tonguebeast Lofur Goddig

Screwloose’s SP Lofur Goddigg (1-1, 4.84, 8) was flinging into the 9^th. Getting the first two outs, he gave up a single to Damnthief. An overworked hoser Lowsmasher (two saves in the past two days against New Ork) took over as Goddigg was hooked like a fish and reeled into the dugout. Ogremurder promptly singled and Giantfinder who runs slower than a slug hit one down the middle, and somehow beat out an infield hit. Bases loaded with nasty Goblins–two away. Lowsmasher lost Fangclaw after getting two quick strikes, and he got a free pass to the circus; it was 4-3 Frowns. Stonechain at bat. Bases still stinking full of Gobs. First fling by Lowsmasher was a called strike. Second fling was a lance towards hurt base, and 3B Beamfighter stuck out his glove and somehow the little wretch caught it! Bards (5-5) swept the Tyrants (4-6) in four.

Two Untouchable Hosers (So far anyway!)
Toinar Lowsmasher Kerotg Muckhand

Third save in three days for Lowsmasher (0-0, 0.00, 7, 3SV). Utterly forgotten was the scoreless relief effort by that Goblin-weasel, hoser Kerotg Muckhand (1-0, 0.00, 5) who flung his seventh straight game in relief this season (12 innings in total) without allowing a run. Too good for the terrible Tyrants.

[hawaiiansky]

Thirstday - Peril 16, 2601

Irrational League

Sinsenasty, Ohwhoa

SP Volkrad Licht SP Nildo Diggerbuff

SP Licht and the Insanses (sounds like a travelling minstrel show) couldn’t contain the Pieplates for long at Crosseye Field. Leading 1-0 in the 3^rd, the hard-clubbing Pies rapped Licht (1-2, 3.13, 18) for 5 hits in a row like what an Ogre pugilist might do to a Snotling; 3-1 Piggsplurgh. Coasting to his 3^rd win of the year, Nildo Diggerbuff flung a 7-hitter erasing 4 and walking only 1 in 8 innings. Ring up another save for Boffinhand (0-0, 4.50,4), his 3^rd. Going 4 for 5,Worrycleve (.341, 1, 7) was top clubber in the 12 hit attack on Sinsenasty flinging.

Killerelfia, Painsylvania

SP Derghenn the Grimy LF Derghrot the Exterminator

Fortunately for SP Deghenn the Grimy whose ERA (7.15) is as large as his inflated size, the Klubs (4-6) provided plenty of support and overwhelmed the faltering Philbellies (2-8) 9-3. Derghrot the Exterminator (.364, 3, 11) was 3 for 4, 4ribs and 2 runs and Yereth the Sorrowful (.250, 4, 6) blasted homers off Dark Elf SP Underghost (0-2,6.05, 5). Derghenn (1-1, 7.15, 4) did fling surprisingly well giving up only 5 hits in 7 innings.

[hawaiiansky]

MAGE LEAGUE BLOODBALL

Standings - Peril 16, 2601

Hysterikan League

	W	L	GB	Pct.
Quikargo Fright Sox	8	2	__	.800
New Ork Yanknecks	7	2	.5	.777
Bosstown Redpox	5	4	2.5	.555
Screwloose Frowns	5	5	3	.500
Cleavehand Insanes	4	5	3.5	.444
Slashington Gnashnails	4	5	3.5	.444
Dathroat Tuskers	4	6	4	.400
Killerelfia Fatlickers	1	9	7	.100

Upcoming Game Schedule

New Ork at Quikargo 4/17, 4/18, 4/19
Killerelfia at Bosstown 4/17, 4/18, 4/19
Dathroat at Screwloose 4/17, 4/18, 4/19
Slashington at Cleavehand 4/17, 4/18, 4/19

Irrational League

	W	L	GB	Pct.
Piggsplurgh Pieplates	8	1	__	.888
Brokenlymb Daggers	7	2	1	.777
Bosstown Graves	5	4	3	.555
Screwloose Bards	5	5	3.5	.500
New Ork Tyrants	4	6	4	.400
Quikargo Klubs	4	6	4	.400
Sinsenasty Shreds	3	6	5	.333
Killerelfia Philbellies	2	8	6.5	.200

Upcoming Game Schedule

Piggsplurgh at Quikargo 4/17, 4/18, 4/19
New Ork at Bosstown 4/17, 4/18, 4/19
Killerelfia at Screwlooose 4/17, 4/18, 4/19
Sinsenasty at Brokenlymb 4/17, 4/18, 4/19

[hawaiiansky]

[hawaiiansky]

Bloodball fan,
In the reports, I’ve tried to include a few bloodball terms little by little and write so anyone can usually guess the meaning, but I’ve noticed lately that the reports are getting more saturated with them.

If you are new to reading this dynasty, you might want to first browse this glossary of bloodball terms to get familiar with the lingo.

Even if you are quite familiar with this dynasty, you may still be curious about the meaning of a word or phrase at times. In that case, check the glossary.

I’ll update from time to time as new words appear.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Official Glossary of Bloodball Lingo

A
Acehole (the ace in the hole) –ace or star pitcher
Afraidio -radio
Around the horned-god –around the horn
Assault & battery mates (flinger & grabber)-battery
B
Bat brat –bat boy
Beeliner –line drive
Belcher seats – bleacher seats
Beltemore Slop –Baltimore chop
Big Bam –Big Show
Blood Mangled Banner (Hysterikan national anthem) – Star Spangled Banner
Bloodball -baseball
Bloodballer-baseball player
Bloodcast(er)-broadcast(er)
Blood drop-sinker
Blue-liceman -policeman
Blunt-bunt
Boltcutter (cut ‘n run) –cutter
Brainers-coaches
Bruthe (Bloodball god of clout)
Burial mound - mound
C
Centaur(fielder)-center(fielder)
Changeling-change
Cliff diver-sinker
Clubber-hitter/batsman
Crossbolt (or spear, lance, bolt) – line drive
Cut ‘n run (speedball)-cutter
Cyungg (Bloodball god of fling)
D
Damnation dogs-Dalmatian dogs
Dancer-forkball
Dayblue-a failed debut
Deadriser-rising fastball
Dirt swirler-grounder
Double slay-DP
Dragonfly-a long flyball
Drain-train
Drooler-slow rolling grounder barely hit
Dwarfen seamstress-made double slay-tailor-made DP
E
Elfield(er)-leftfield(er)
F
Fairyboat-ferryboat
Firestarter-relief pitcher who makes things worse
Fist base(man)-first base(man)
Flea clubber-weak hitter
Flexfence (movable fences)
Fling-pitch
Flinger-pitcher
Follycar-trolley car
Fowl ball-foul ball
Fowl pole-foul pole
Fowl territory-foul territory
G
Gaptooth-ball hit in the gap
Ghost-washed-shutout
Glider (skidder)-slider
Go-far flinger –gopher ball pitcher
Grabber-catcher
Grailroad-railroad
Grasshopper-grounder
Grasshugger- low bounding grounder/pitch close to ground
Grasstrimmer-low bounding grounder
Greenskins-dollars
Groundhog-grounder
Groundscreepers-groundskeepers
Grubhouse-clubhouse
Grumpire-umpire
H
Headroller-high hopping grounder to the outfield
Hellevision-TV
Hellhopper-difficult bouncing grounder
Hellfone-cell phone
Hexes lunger-Texas leaguer
Homesick-coming towards home plate
Hoser-closer
Hurt base(man)-third base(man)
Hysterika (the world of Bloodball)-US and parts of Canada
I
Injuryfielder-infielder
J
Jeerleaders (or cheerleaders)
L
Left-claw handed clubber/flinger-LH batter/LH pitcher
Lyre clubber-banjo hitter
M
Matchbox-small park
Mindpoppy (common drug)
Miner league-minor league
Miner leaguer-bush leaguer
Mushmound (drenched mound)
Murderlow-merlot
MLB (Mage League Bloodball/the mager leagues)
N
Neck snap-easy
P
Pebblepaths (basepaths with small stones thrown on them)
Pit – 8th/last place
Pluck off-pick off
Pyschike-microphone
Q
Quickitch ivy (deliberately planted itchy vines)
R
Racing-running
Riverbloat-steamboat
Running the races-running the bases
Razorgrass (grass planted to cause injuries)
Ribeye (ribs) - rbi
Rightclaw-handed clubber/flinger
Roadkill trip-road trip
Rollerwalls(movable fences)
S
Sacrifice to the gods-sacrifice hit
Scimitar-sweeping curve ball
Second-stinker-second stringer
Seventh-inning stretch (a hanging, neck-stretching on the rack, etc)
Shape change-change
Shirtstop-shortstop
Silver hook-pitcher getting removed from game
Skidder-slider
Slimeball (greaseball,mashed-maggot ball)-spitball
Slay ball!-Play ball!
Sling shot-thrown by fielder
Snot starter-spot starter
Sockem base(man)-second base (,am)
Sour Grapes League-Grapefruit League
Speedball-fastball
Spinach-hitter-pinch-hitter
Sportscribe-sportswriter
Spring Braining-spring training
Steam cab-cab
Strawberry rhubarb pie-rhubarb/brawl
Steermolds-steroids
Stenchwarmer-benchwarmer
Stone-skipper-forkball
Sweeper-curveball
T
Thunderball (or thunderbolt)-fastball
Thunderballer-fastball pitcher
U
Underworld(er) flinger-submarine pitcher
V
Vampire count-a 3-2 count
W
Weird Series-World Series
Whaleskin-rain tarp
Whaleskin derigible-zeppelin
Whichever clubber-switch hitter
White-eye-shutout
Wightfield(er)-rightfield(er)
Wild turkey fling (wild fling)-wild pitch
Z
Zombie (fling)-rising fastball

[hawaiiansky]

Peril 17, 2601

Hysterikan League

Cleavehand, Ohwhoa

Sports Mutilated gives you a really close, black-eye view of an MLB game than you’d probably never really want to have.

“Grabbing Behind Homely Plate” (Part 1)

Grabber Hannos Winrich Flinger Kirstan Kursh

Reek Park. Second stinker, grabber Hannos Winrich watched starting flinger Kirstan Kursh warming up with a cheerleader on the sidelines. He slapped Kursh on the back of his head hard, “Time to fling a few, rake!” Kursh broke up his embrace with the brunette and began to windup. Winrich was today’s Kursh’s assault & battery mate. Before the game started, the Insanes and Gnashnails lined up opposite each other on the baselines, bloodball caps doffed supposedly to listen attentively to the playing of Blood Mangled Banner by an Imperial band. Like all bloodballers, Winrich instead scowled at his opponents, gave obscene gestures and spat in the direction of the clubbers who would face Kursh in the 1^st.

Imperial trumpeters blasted out a tune right before the grumpire screamed, “Slay ball!” Kursh stood defiantly on the burial mound. He’s got more flings than fingers on one hand and his ball moves like an Insanes’ cheerleaders hips. On the sidelines, the Maniacs had done their last shaking and departed the field.

CF Caliong Nightsquirrel 1B Meldur Moonsinger

Elf Nightsquirrel, a whichever clubber, batted on the right side against the left-clawed Kursh. “Ready for some thunder, joker?” Winrich challenged. First fling was a thunderball low. Winrich cursed as two balls followed. Before the next fling, Winrich gave the sign, drawing a hex in the dirt with his glove and brushed his glove quickly on the ground to raise some dirt as the bloodball approached. Nightsquirrel distracted by either the ominous sign or the dust cloud took a called strike. Another ball and Nightsquirrel sneered at Winrich and took fist base. Carro the fist baseman jabbed the runner in the ribs viciously as he stepped on the bag to hold the runner. The Insanes’ fans hurled verbal abuse on Nightsquirrel. “Still in the league, Cutloose?” Winrich said to the annoyed Cutwit who fowled out to the grabber near the backstop on the first fling. Moonsinger got three straight balls as Kursh tried to sneak a speedball past him, and then he drove it in the gaptooth between elfield and centaur, but elfielder ran it down and snatched it. Two away. Lakedeer at bat. Nightsquirrel a speedster at first eyed sockem base. Kursh ignored Nightsquirrel who ran on the first thunderbolt fling to Lakedeer. Outside, and Winrich quickly threw to sockem base and they got him! Inning over. Winrich yelled to Nightsquirrel, “You’ll be down in the miners soon … get your shovel ready, turtlefoot!”

2B Gemir Lakedeer

Bottom of the 1st, Bilhofen doubled in a run. 1-0 Insanes. Top of the 2^nd - Kursh shook off Winrich like a greedy tax collector, and Lakedeer crossbolted Kursh’s thunderball for a homer 296’ away. Tied 1-1.

In the 3^rd, Elf Watersnake spat a Hexes lunger into elfield, and he was on fist with Nightsquirrel at bat. “Well, if it isn’t Nightmare,” noted Winrch as he spat on Nightsquirrel’s shoe. On a cut’n run fling by Kursh, Nightsquirrel blunted left of the mound, and he beat it out against the slow moving Kursh for a single. On a 3-2 count, Cutwit held off on a changeling and took a walk loading the bases with Elves. As Moonsinger came to the plate, Winrich had a chat with Kursh. “Moonsucker over there is on a tear. Mix ‘em up and keep ‘em away.”He shoved the bloodball deep into Kursh’s stomach. The pompous Moonsinger looked down on the crouching grabber. “Oh, it’s Pukeface,” commented Winrich. The first fling was a dancer, and Moonsinger looked silly missing it. “Nice!” commented Winrich. Unfazed by Kursh’s shift-changer, Moonsinger got a piece of it, but fowled it back to the screen with Winrich chasing it. Strike two. Kursh came inside with his cut’n run and Moonsinger belted a grasstrimmer into wight. Winrch hooked his thumb on Moonsinger’s belt for a few seconds to slow his run. One scored and then Nightsquirrel sped home. No throw home, but Winrich blocked the plate anyway and elbowed the grinning runner in his smiling puss. 3-1 Nails. Bases full of arrogant Elves. Lakedeer up and Kursh’s dancer was high. On a cut’n run bloodball, Lakedeer sent a Dwarfen seamstress-made double slay ball to hurt baseman, Kuester (5-4-3). Inning over. Imperial trumpets blared. As the Maniac cheerleaders came on the field for some real sexcitement, Winrich encouraged Kursh, “I should tear your heart out!” “Clutch” Carro doubled in a run in the bottom of the 3^rd, 3-2 Gnashnails

	1	2	3
Slashington	0	1	2
Cleavehand	1	0	1

(To be continued)

[hawaiiansky]

Peril 17, 2601

Hysterikan League

Cleavehand, Ohwhoa

Sports Mutilated

“Grabbing Behind Homely Plate” Part 2

In the 4^th, Winrich fumed as Kursh was punished with Duskhail’s double. Duskhail decided to test Winrich’s average arm, but Winrich rubbed him out as he slid into hurt base. The irritant Winrich screeched, “You couldn’t steal a breath.” Then a solo slam by a weak lyre clubber, Moonpool, made it 4-2 Nails.

It was the 5^th and Carro singled with two outs, 4-3 Slashington. Kursh was horrible in the 6^th allowing two more runs on four singles. Winrich wondered why Kursh hadn’t been hooked. Flea-clubbing Winrich doubled off the elfield wall with two outs in the bottom of the 6^th. 2B Jademouse came over and chided Winrich , “Taking steermolds?” Kursh swung and drooled a ball to the right of the mound and legged it out for an infield hit as Winrich moved to 3^rd. Tying run at the plate. Burgmann struck out.

	1	2	3	4	5	6
Slashington	0	1	2	0	2	1
Cleavehand	1	0	1	0	1	0

Seventh Inning stretch. The crowd cheered as a convict was hung from the pavilion’s rail. Kursh gave up another run, 7-3, as Nightsquirrel and Moonsinger got hits, and Lakedeer sacrificed to the gods. “When you’re ready to end clubbing practice, let me know,” Winrich sarcastically confided to Kursh.

Next inning, Slashington had two on when Insanes’ Manager Coldwarp visited Kursh on the burial mound. silver hook in hand; Winrich knew Kursh was finished. Grape-eating reliever Hinz was carried in on a palanquin. Coldwarp threatened Thaddeus Hinz with a dagger, ”Enough of this nonsense.” He was basically a two-fling hoser with a blazing deadriser (or as others call it, a zombie thunderball). Winrich gave the sign for heat. Cutwit wasn’t a clubber and struck out swinging for the afterworld on a succession of zombies.

With a man on in the 8^th, Winrich slammed a high dragonfly to elfield but it was hauled in. Top of the 9^th and Moonsinger was able to get around Hinz’s deadriser and it vomited into elfield for a double. Lakedeer was given an intentional pass. Grabbing the last ball, Winrich said to Lakedeer, “Can’t stand your smell.” Jademouse and Duskhail went down admiring Hinz’s rising thunderbolts. Expecting another, Moonpool got a glider and grounded out. Bottom of the 9^th, Winrich knew the cause was hopeless since Cleavehand had only one real slugger – Bildhofen. He began to take off his equipment even when Bildhofen tripled into the wightfield corner. Carro whiffed to end it. 7-4 Gnashnails.

	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9	R	H	E
Slashington	0	1	2	0	2	1	1	0	0	7	15	0
Cleavehand	1	0	1	0	1	0	0	0	1	4	10	1

The Imperial trumpeters played a mournful tune. Winrich yelled out to the arrogant Slashington bloodballers congratulating themselves on the field, “Next time, we’ll snip those pointed ears and shove ‘em %^#*@!”

[hawaiiansky]

(A new reporting format begins today – reports on series of games between two bloodball clubs.)

Hysterikan League

Cleavehand, Ohwhoa

Satyrday - Peril 18, 2601

Gnashnails ‘ SP Calmwit (2-0, 1.50, 8) who flung 8 innings and Insanes’ SP Monheim (1-1, 1.33, 15) w ho lasted 7 had quite a bloodball duel at Reek Park. It was tied 1-1 as the game plunged into extra innings. In the top of the 10^th firestarter Langer gave up a two-out double to Lakedeer making it 2-1 and Rootflute singled, and it became 4-1 Nails. With two on, two outs and a 3-2 vampire count on Kusel, Elf reliever Grandstrike took a deep breath as Kusel hit a long dragonfly that was caught by centaurfielder Nightsquirrel.

Stunday – Peril 19, 2601

The Bloodball god of fling, Cyungg, must have received a sacrificial gift of virgins this weekend (that must have been hard finding them in this city) because Cleavehand and Slashington starters once again silenced the clubs on both teams. Making his dayblue, Imperial SP Oldenhaller (0-1. 2.00, 6) flung a complete game though lost it in the 7^th when with two outs Nails’ Grimraven lanced a single to centaur with the bases loaded. 2-0 Slashington. The winner Elf SP Chantsinger (1-2, 2.37, 9) was flawless through 8 innings and Grandstrike mopped it up once again. They hung the white-sheeted Insanes out to dry, 2-0.

The gritty Gnashnails (7-5) swept the three-game series at Reek Park and stood in 4^th place three games out of first. The iffy Insanes (4-8) were mired in 6^th six games out of it; they also lost CF Nightsquirrel for two weeks due to a strained pinky … the baby wretch that he is.

[hawaiiansky]

Hysterikan League

Friesday –Peril 17, 2601

Quikargo, Killnoise

Bloody-eye View of Coldmisty Park

Quikargo –The Blowhard City or The Windblast City-was a shared but contested home to two rival MLB teams the Dark Elf Fright Sox and Ogre Klubs; it was situated west of Lake Mashagain, one of the Hate Lakes. The brutish harsh winds would whip onto its shoreline, thus, perfect for the cold-loving Dark Elves. In the harbor, swaying black warships were ready for any outburst of conflict even though there had been peace for decades –unfortunately most thought. Some say the term, Blowhard City, refers to the boasts of the extremely-cross town Ogre Klubs who have an innate desire to not only defeat the Fright Sox some day in the Weird Series, but also to drive them from the South Side of Quikargo into the lake by force in battle.

Located on the corner of Dirty Filth and Squeal Streets, Coldmisty Park, bedeviled lair of the Fright Sox, was a wondrous structure, much too good for the brooding and dour Dark Elves. Its previous white-colored outer walls were re-painted a glossy pitch black to match the disposition of its bloodballers.

When entering Coldmisty Park, a bloodballer felt like a gladiator going to his final battle. A huge arena, the symmetrical field was almost completely enclosed by grandstands except for a small bleacher section in dead centaurfield. The bullpens were placed behind a fence in centaur too adjacent to each other, so that the teams could glare, hurl insults and dump debris on each other. Dark Elf naval engineers had constructed devices on the centaurfield scoreboard for shooting off blood-red skyrockets when the Fright Sox notched a victory.

Due to its large capacity, the park hosted large numbers of frigid-faced fans who could glare down on a visiting team. Most races attended the games, but the principle fans were Dark Elves as well as Trolls, who worked the wharves as cargo haulers or performed other drudgeries. When the home team was up, the fans would beat drums with the ominous pounding getting faster and louder reaching a crescendo of sound as the Sox scored orrallied; shrilling flutes accompanied a visitor’s at bat – its screeching, whining, unsettling notes piercing the skulls of even the strongest creatures with the intention of unsettling and distracting them.

[hawaiiansky]

Hysterikan League

Quikargo, Killnoise

Friesday – Peril 17, 2601

The irritating flutes of 28000 fans greeted the visiting New Orc Yanknecks the moment they came to club in the 1^st. It appeared to have some effect on them as they were scoreless with five singles in 6 innings against the flinging of SP Anaciyul Breakrod (0-2, 5.75, 8). Meanwhile the drums boomed loudly and triumphantly in the 5^th when the Fright Sox put two on the scoreboard on three hits off Sp Doimak Pittracker (2-0, 1.80,7). The Orc Necks snarled and grunted each inning to keep their battle spirit up. Despite the unsettling sight of a seventh inning stretch of a convicted robber on the rack, the growling Orcs took the lead on the strength of Gredush Cavepick’s(.357, 2, 12) three-run bomb into the elfield stands. 3-2 Necks. In the 8^th the potential tying run, Demontraveller steamed towards home on a double by Warboar (.304,0, 10) was cut down at the plate. Cavepick tripled in the 9^th, 4-2 Yanknecks. And that was the bloodball game! New Ork stood proudly in 1^st place a half-game over Quikargo.

Satyrday – Peril 18, 2601

The fans were more obnoxious than the day before shouting insults and epithets, like “Well skin you alive, greenskins!” and “ Where shall we ship your corpses?” New Ork was hitless for 4 innings as SP Aruvic Dancestaff struck out 4 using a combo of shift-changers and sweeps. Yankneck SP Lerg Ironminer gave up 3 runs (2 unearned. 5 hits but walked 4 in 5.2 innings. After 5 innings, the Fright Sox had a 3-0 lead.

In the 6^th, the Yanknecks used some gutsy race running to make it 3-2 Fright Sox; Ironminer who had singled took two bases on a single by Iceminer and scored. It was amazing since Ironminer runs as fast as an overburdened Sudsgeyser wagon. Iceminer then stole hurt base and touched home on a groundhog.

Into the terrible 7^th, the Necks rallied once again as Kragpick looped a lunger to centaur and runners on sockem and hurt crossed the plate, 4-3 New Ork. A massive groan and roar of outrage shook Coldmisty Park as fans recoiled over the New Ork rally. Drums echoed as the Dark Elves had something going in the 8^th with a leadoff double by Rootstealer, but he tried to stretch his neck for a triple and Kragpick’s slingshot nailed the racer at hurt base. Bottom of the 9^th Silentmaw reached fist base on a walk but hoser Hillsmasher (0-0, 0.00, 11, 2SV) retired the next three batters. New Ork in first by a game and a half.

Stunday – Peril 19, 2601

Violence to New Ork was on the minds of Fright Sox fans and glints of metal from daggers, blades and other weapons could be spotted everywhere in Coldmisty Park. The Dark Elf owner took no chances (no reason to ignite a war) and he ringed the field with grim-looking spearmen, and blue-licemen with truncheons positioned themselves in the bleachers and grandstands eager to bash the heads of any hooligans. New Ork’s Berg Deatharmor flung a two-hitter through 5 innings; nevertheless, the Frightson led 2-1 as SP Arodoce Fughtershooter scattered 8 hits though 6 innings.

The Fright Sox starter fizzled once again in the 7^th allowing a leadoff single and a base on balls. Dark Elf Waterpanther who hadn’t allowed a run all season relieved, and Iceminer (.400, 0, 3) rained a crossbolt double on the Fright Sox and two ribeyes made it 3-2 New Ork. Warbreaker drove in Iceminer 4-2 New Ork. The Necks added three in the 8^th.

Bottom of the 9^th, the Yanknecks had a 4 run cushion, 7-3, but bloodball fodder Warsmiter couldn’t hold back the desperate and determined Fright Sox who quickly loaded the bags with none out –the tying run at bat. The drums beat steadily. Doom sat at New Ork’s doorstep. An injuryfielder’s choice and two singles made it 7-6 Necks with the bases still loaded. Two down. Reliever Enemytracker (0-1, 3.00, 0, 3SV) who had climbed the mound for New Ork had a 3-1 count on punch hitter Ikonexa Silentmaw. Instead of laying off the fling, Silentmaw hit an easy Beltemore slop to 3B Godscut who threw it to first –three away! Another come from behind win for New Ork (10-2) who swept the faltering Fright Sox (8-5) into 2^nd place two and a half games behind them. Needless to say but there were no skyrockets fired the last three games.

The fans went berserk not believing their eyes. Flashing swords and thrusting knives were used against rival factions in the stands-Troll against Dark Elf, Imperial against Ogre - as they took out their frustration on each other unable to reach the Yanknecks because of the line of soldiers with lowered spears. The blue-licemen entered the fray cracking skulls left and right to break up the riot.

[hawaiiansky]

Hysterikan League

Screwloose, Misseri

Friesday - Peril 17, 2601

The beer-sloshing Screwloose Frowns hosted the ice cold Dathroat Tuskers (three losses in a row) for a three game series. It was nice of Dathroat’s flingers and firestarters to offer in-game clubbing practice at Warthands Park. On Friesday, the Frowns gushed out 5 runs in the bottom of the 5^th erasing a 2-1 Tusker lead. “The keg” was flowing freely capped by Glofur Axehunter’s (.432, 2, 11) 396’ bing off newcomer SP Erghadd the Raucus(0-1, 9.00, 2). Welcome to the Big Bam, “Egad!” Screwloose splashed Dathroat 8-4 lead by Axehunter and Gemcut (.308, 1, 4)who went 3 for 4 with 2 runs scored. Dwarf Babur Boltsmiter (1-0, 2.30, 3) got his first win. Frowns 8 Tuskers 4

Satyrday – Peril 18, 2601

Warthands Park’s fences rattled as five bloodballs ended up residing in the stands. Ogres’ Yarabb the Peculiar and Tozew the Unavoidable connected for Dathroat-Cairnhunter (2 round-trippers) and Leadboot for Screwloose. SP Marbltracker (2-1, 5.88, 9) with a six hitter over 5 outflung Reremm the Clumsy who delivered meaty flings to Frown clubbers (3 homers, 10 hits and 8 runs). Cairnhunter (4runs, 3 ribeyes , 3 for 4) was the clubbing hero for the Frowns. Final 10-6 SCrewloose.

Stunday – Peril 19, 2601

In the rubberneck game of the series, the Frowns rolled the keg over the dulled Tuskers 14-3, wiping their ugly Ogre pusses 14-3! Clubbing 4 for 5, Darkblade (.409, 1, 10) drove in 5 runs, C Goldgrinder in his first MLB game scored 3 runs going 4 for 5, and Slatefist (.442, 0, 8) scored 4 runs and drove in 3. SP Honar Kragpick (3-1, 4.54, 17) scattered 9 hits, got his third win tying him for the Mage League Bloodball lead in victories.

The hottest team in the MLB, the inebriated Frowns (8-5) have won 6 games straight (or weaving) tied for second 2.5 games behind New Ork. The Tuskers (4-9) have free-fallen to 7^th one loss away from ending in the armpit of the league.

[hawaiiansky]

Hysterikan League

Bosstown, Masshooters

Friesday – Peril 17, 2601

The vultures were flying low in Funslay Park and the Halfling Fatlickers were a little wary during the pregame warm-up lest they be picked up by the birds’ talons and whisked away. The Fats were cold on the griddle the first five innings as the Red Pox had a 2-0 lead when Chaosfire walked in a run and Greatstealer had a sacrifice fly to the gods. Then the Fats started to sizzle in the top of the 6^th when Patchbar reached home on a muff by Ironmouth and a single by Giligar Worrycleve tied it 2-2. In that inning Winyla Rumbleby argued a strike call looking and got so irritating that the grump heaved the little twerp into his team’s dugout and out of the game. The Fats came to a boil in the 8^th as Butterbur sacrificed a run in with the bases loaded of halfmen and then Oddbar singled making it 4-2 Fats. Relievers Bracedown and Proudberry shut the Pox down on one hit and zero runs the last five innings and the Fats won one again!

Satyrday - Peril 18, 2601

It seemed like only the clubbers showed up for the game. Neither starting flinger had much stuff at all. and it was 8-6 Pox after 7 innings. The Fats had unloaded three homers and the Red Pox two in the stands. In the 8^th Stonegouge relieving with one out got into a mess first loading the bases and then serving up a Fats double to Rumbleby as all three runners scored; 9-8 Fats. Rumbleby gave the grump the bird after his base-clearing getting his revenge for being tossed by the same vampire in blue in yesterday’s game. The Pox were helpless the last two innings as Bracedown and Millgirdle (0-2, 0.84, 10, 1SV), who got the save, cured the Pox the last two innings. It was two in a row for Killerelfia the first time this season … and maybe the last time.

Stunday – Peril 19, 2601

The Fats must have been dreaming of sugarplums and lard as they had a 2 zip lead going into the bottom of the 4 with hopes of taking three straight from the Red Pox^th. In the 1^st the red-hot fat Rumbleby (.340, 4, 11) slammed a two-run shot into the centaur field stands. But SP Meroibo Jumpsgirdle (0-2, 4.91, 10) couldn’t stop the clubbing plague in the 4^th. Sunk Greatchaos doubled in one run, Madraider brought in two with a single, Fangstink singled in one and Cleaverbrain (.256, 2, 13) crossbolted a double for the last two; 6-2 Pox.

SP Bonerender (2-0, 4.19, 9) and Bigmuck combined to fling a five-hitter and the Red Pox took the Fats off the flame to beat them 7-3 to end their winning streak.

Killerelfia (3-10) remains in 8^th place a game behind Dathroat while Bosstown (6-6) tops the second division one game back of Slashington.

[hawaiiansky]

MAGE LEAGUE BLOODBALL

Standings - Peril 19, 2601

Hysterikan League

W L GB Pct.
New Ork Yanknecks 10 2 __ .833
Quikargo Fright Sox 8 5 2.5 .615
Screwloose Frowns 8 5 2.5 .615
Slashington Gnashnails 7 5 3 ,583
Bosstown Redpox 6 6 4 .500
Cleavehand Insanes 4 8 6 .333
Dathroat Tuskers 4 9 6.5 .308
Killerelfia Fatlickers 3 10 7.5 .231

Upcoming Game Schedule
New Ork at Dathroat 4/20, 4/21
Bosstown at Quikargo 4/20, 4/21
Screwloose at Slashington 4/20, 4/21
Cleavehand at Killerelfia 4/20, 4/21

Leaders
Clubbing Average Slatefist, Frowns .442
Homeruns Rumbleby, Fatlickers 4
Runs clubbed in Cleaverbrain, Red Pox 13
Slugging % Cometsword, Gnashnails .714
Stolen bases Iceminer, Yanknecks, 3 / Mountainmolder, Frowns 3 / X. Silentmaw, Fright Sox 3
ERA Gruesome, Tuskers 0.61
Wins Kragpick, Frowns 3
Saves Enemytracker, Yanknecks 3
Strikeouts Bladeshaman, Yanknecks 4

[hawaiiansky]

Friesday -Perii 17, 2601

Irrational league

Brokenlymb, New Ork

A Bloody-eye View of Maggots Field

Visitors to Maggots Field, home of the Daggers, pass over its famed, ancient Brokenlymb Bridge to reach it, and they usually view corpses hanging from gibbets at various points in crossing it – those of caught trespassers, thieves and spies. Spatbush aka as the Flatcrush section is where Maggots Field is surrounded by the sordid thoroughfares of Deadforth, Sonofagun, Mount Gonorhea and Frickin . The park is relatively small and, as a result, Ork fans get really close to the gory action on the field which is unfortunate for visiting teams.

The Ork fans are well …fanatical… to say the least yelling at the top of their lungs rooting for their bloodball heroes and display drooling fangs and shout obscenities and throw debris on the heads of bloodballers. Spitting too is common, a sport of sorts in Brokenlymb; hence, the origin of the name, Spatbush. They have their own sinphony too, and its ”musicians” play a blood-curdling array of “musical” tunes on their instruments made in hell itself, it is said.

The beloved Daggers are greeted with the friendly epithet of “Slums! Slums!” whenever they take the field. Slums are the pre-eminent feature of the Spatbush neighborhoods. Vendors sell questionable meat products often rotten and swarming with maggots, a local delicacy for the ravenous Orks.

Bullpens are placed down the lines and at the corners near the fowl poles, and visiting flingers are at the mercy of fans glaring down at them above their heads. Double-decker grandstands filled with hordes of horrid, grinning green faces circle right and left field. There is a twenty-foot high wall in right field topped by a screen to hinder the longball. Not that it helped much. In center, fresh scalps wave proudly from the flag pole, and a gigantic scoreboard heralds each Dagger victory. At least, visiting centaur and wight fielders do not have to worry about ugly fans behind them.