Yet Another OOTP6 Dynasty, Year 2: One Flew Over the Pale Hose

[Vris]

I love this game!

[cknox0723]

Akinori Otsuka is the reliever who works the seventh inning and the seventh inning he does work. I assumed his command would be more reliable than Kiko Calero's, but of course he runs the count up three-and-one on leadoff man Luis Castillo. But the second baseman hits a harmless bouncer to first on a well-placed fastball. Juan Pierre is a quick out on a foul pop-up and Adam Dunn strikes out as he is wont to do. We're six outs away.

Zerbe rolls through the eighth as though our guys aren't even batting. For all I could care, they're not.

I leave Otsuka in for the eighth because, racist that I am, he is from Japan and so is Ichiro!, who's leading off the inning from the number four spot in the order. Mofo works a walk.

Rich Aurilia proceeds to hit into a double play, 3-6-3, and I wonder if someone somewhere for some reason.

Ten minutes later, somehow some way, someone somewhere got their wish. We leave the bases loaded in the top of the ninth, but Proven Closer (TM) Joe Roa pitches a one-two-three bottom of the inning. We'd need to be perfect to beat a team that has won as many games and scored as many runs as these Mariners have; for one day, we were, and yet think back to all the wasted opportunities and near-disasters. This was quintessential Pale Hose, for better or for worse.

For one day, it was for better. Two more of those and we'll be in the freakin' league championship. Pinch me if I'm dreaming.



CHW 2 SEA 0

WP: M. Buehrle - 6 IP, 6 H, 0 R, 3 BB, 3 K, 99 pitches
LP: C. Nageotte - 6 IP, 6 H, 2 R, 1 BB, 5 K, 1 HR, 99 pitches
S: J. Roa

Game Ball Goes To... Butcher-boy third baseman Munson, who despite his hideous and obvious flaws is beloved by chicks everywhere. Hoo boy, could it ever be more clear why?

[Jestor]

It's very important to win the first game in a set! (Ivan Lendl and Chris Evert Tennis paraphrased)

Congrats!

[rem]

Woot!

[CTSoxFan]

This is amazing. GO PALE HOSE!

That was better than watching the Red Sox

[Y0DA55]

Originally Posted by CTSoxFan

This is amazing. GO PALE HOSE!

That was better than watching the Red Sox

Eh... watching them get swept by the Mariners was pretty sweet.

Really enjoying the playoff coverage, craig.

[Astros33Resurrected]

Go pale hose!

[cknox0723]

The odds are stacked against us in the second game of this series, in part because Seattle's ace left-hander Odalis Perez (16-10, 3.74) is on the mound. Maybe it is an uphill climb also because Esteban "The Art of Suck" Loaiza is our pitcher; never mind his 3.33 ERA this season, or the 13-9 record - this is still the guy that went 8-16 for a pale Pale Hose team once upon a time. Mostly I am not too enthusiastic because I remember that really bad 99-loss Pale Hose team, since it wasn't so long ago, and I'm not at all convinced that this Pale Hose team is really any different, 85 wins or not, wild card berth or no wild card berth, 2-0 win in game one of the ALDS or nothing.

Facing any left-hander throws our lineup into a flux; "Buddha" Ordonez and "Hitman" Wells are mainstays in the lineup, and for whatever reason Podsednik is still in there, but the infield is all shuffled around:

LF Podsednik/2B Kennedy/RF Ordonez/CF Wells/3B Cordero/1B Thomas/C Olivo/SS J. Wilson/P Loaiza

The opposing lineup is the same as game one, except 24 year old Dan Gottlieb (.293/.370/.431 in 123 at-bats) is in left field, batting eighth, rather than Nic Jackson, who lacks the letter K in his first name but makes up for it by popping up a lot (twice in the first game).

Seeing as we are facing a southpaw and an ace southpaw at that, I am content to win whatever battles we can. So when leadoff man Podsednik fouls off an 0-2 pitch and then takes a ball out of the zone before striking out like the miserable, wretched batsman he is, it's cause for celebration. Adam Kennedy pops out to right-center on a 1-1 pitch; it's a moral victory for a second baseman invariably described as light-hitting, .280 batting average notwithstanding.

[cknox0723]

Then the real hitters step in. "Buddha" Ordonez has shown a more discerning eye than a gardener at the farmer's market this series, and his first at-bat of this game is no exception; he passes over a few bad ones and a few good ones, waiting for one that really catches his eye. After seven previous pitches, left-hander Perez delivers his third 3-2 payoff offering and it's a sweet, juicy, and ripe slider that doesn't do much sliding. Ordonez doesn't do much sliding, either; after pouncing on the fat one and walloping it into the oblivion of the left field corner, he's got an easy stand-up double, giving us a man in scoring position with two outs for the cleanup man Vernon Wells.

"Vernon Wells digs into the right-handed batter's box, hoping for a repeat performance of yesterday's two-for-four line. Ordonez at second, two men out here in the top of the first. The left-hander Perez coming from the stretch, catcher Hammock setting up on the outside half. In comes Odalis's offering...wide, ball one. With that last one, he hit ninety-five on the gun for the first time today, but Vernon wouldn't've touched it with a ten-foot pole and wisely held back. Let's see if Odalis can dial it down with his 1-0 pitch. To the stretch...the offering, breaking ball, in the dirt and nicely smothered by Hammock, keeping Ordonez at second. Count's two and a goose egg, you can bet Wells will have the green light flashing from third base coach Pasqua. Perez to the set, kicks and deals, Wells swings and cracks the fastball on a line down the third base line and into the corner. Gottlieb tearing down into the corner, but the ball kicks around down there and rolls back past him. Wells is tearing around second and heading for third...the relay from Aurilia to third, the tag and Wells is OUT to end the inning, out trying to stretch a two-bagger into three. But his extra base knock plates Magglio Ordonez and gives the Pale Hose a 1-0 lead after half an inning."

Leadoff man Juan Pierre cracks a hard grounder to the right side on a 1-1 slider; Frank Thomas, at the sprightly age of 39, makes a diving stop and flips to Loaiza to nip the speedster. Esteban strikes out speedy second baseman Castillo on three pitches and powerful first baseman Dunn fans on a 1-2 slider. If first innings were horses, then the Pale Hose would ride.

Somehow we one-up ourselves in the second; Wil Cordero leads off by blasting a ball into the left field seats. Thomas and Olivo and Wilson all ground out, which means Esteban will lead off the third, but why **** when you can hold it in?

Esteban quickly gets ahead of dynamic .344 hitter Ichiro!, but that is really not too important as he just don't strike out. Sure enough, the left-hander cleanup man makes contact on a tough 1-2 two-seam fastball, and because he can really hit, it's smacked hard to the right side. But in a strange bit of deja vu, Frank Thomas makes a diving stop -- seemingly effortlessly -- and tosses to Loaiza, IN time. Rich Aurilia hits a three-hop ground ball to his counterpart Jack Wilson, and third baseman Doug Mientkiewicz grounds to his apparent student of the glove, the 39 year old "Big Hurt". Two innings, twenty-one pitches from Esteban and he's got a two-nothing lead.

[cknox0723]

Ace southpaw Perez faces Loaiza, Podsednik (who is awful), and Kennedy in the third and almost predictably strikes all three of them out. It's a bit of downer but even with that bit of dominance, the left-hander has already thrown 45 pitches. Loaiza might not hit that until the fifth; he sets down the last three in the Seattle order in the bottom of the third, continuing to keep the ball in the confines of the infield. Catcher Hammock started the inning by fanning on four pitches; he's two-for-thirty-one (.065) against our pitchers this year. Youngster Gottlieb bounced to short and the pitcher Perez rapped the first pitch with some steam to the right side, where it was deftly handled by "Gumby" Kennedy after some consternation, but his rocket to Frank Thomas at first made up for it, going into the books as out number three.

A Vernon Wells single is the only highlight in an otherwise dreary top of the fourth; tropical storm Ernesto has apparently hit our lineup, same as it is hit my hometown yesterday evening, and though it didn't destroy anything, you can still tell it was here. Same with the zeroes lining the top half of the scoreboard; we've got those ones from the first and second, but that sun ain't shining no more.

To start the bottom of the fourth, Juan Pierre is once again prevented from fulfilling his duties as leadoff man extraordinaire; Loaiza's first pitch is a solid fastball that registers 92 on the radar gun, but Pierre gets good wood on it, whacking a hard grounder up the middle. But that's Gumby's territory, and Adam Kennedy's stretchable legs help him make yet another brilliant stop. Throwing the man out at first is just unfair, but he does that, too.

Second baseman Castillo finally ends the perfect game with a first-pitch base hit, turning a hard fastball into a screaming single to left. Masher Adam Dunn steps in, representing the tying run. Esteban's thrown two pitches in the inning; both were hit hard. Here's where we come unglued, right?

Well, Loaiza ends the first-pitch foolishness with a pitchout. Maybe it's just a coincidence, but speedy Castillo stays anchored to first after that. It's probably even more of a coincidence that Dunn is retired on a foul pop out caught by the catcher Olivo, and Ichiro's pop fly to right-center that ends the inning is likely just blind luck. But maybe you can trace it all back to that pitchout.

Or maybe we've just found some bizarre bit of code where the user-controlled team don't give up no runs. Left-hander Perez is dominant once again in the top of the fifth, retiring our bottom three to make it twelve batters out of the last thirteen retired (five strikeouts in that time and only one ball out of the infield). But Loaiza matches him with another perfect inning. SS Aurilia bounces out to second, maybe showing his 36 year old age as he is hitless in the series. 3B Mientkiesnort whiffs, catcher R. Hammock bounces to Loaiza. A few clicks teach me that Mientkiebatter hit .317 (13 for 41) against us in the regular season, but you wouldn't know it from this series as he is oh-for-six, same as just about everyone else in their lineup. What are these guys from Seattle doing? Do they not understand the point of this game?

[canadiancreed]

wow the Pale Hose is in the playoffs? Has Hell really frozen over?

[Jestor]

Originally Posted by canadiancreed

wow the Pale Hose is winning in the playoffs? Has Hell really frozen over?

Fixed.

[cknox0723]

Scott Podsednik makes an out to start the sixth, though that is expected at this point, of course. He has literally made at least a hundred outs in the last month, which is quite silly. Somehow Adam Kennedy follows with a single, looping one into left-center field. However, both Ordonez and Wells hit grounders to second base that are converted into a force out, and we come up with another zero in a long line of 'em.

Seattle's line is one longer after their half of the inning, though; 24 year old LF Gottlieb pops out to "Batless" Podsednik, and the pitcher Perez bats for no good reason and foul pops out to Thomas, wasting one of the outs that Seattle quickly can't afford to lose. Leadoff man Pierre, robbed by infielders in his first two at-bats, finally realizes that if he hits one into the outfield he might be OK. This time he is, giving Seattle a rare baserunner and again one with a lot of pump in his pistons. But pitchouts and pointless psychology power Pierre's pedantic philosophy to remain at first base; I'd let the 66-steal man try to ignite something that Seattle seems to be seriously lacking, but that's just me. Instead Luis Castillo grounds to first and the Mariners are again left wanting.

Perhaps the highest of many highs is Frank Thomas's one-out double in the top of the seventh; it's not some misplayed bloop, but a solid shot into the left field corner, and it's not really the "Big Hurt" who clubbed it, but a 39 year old .163 hitter. It's almost irrelevant that he's doubled off second a few minutes later when Ichiro! makes a brilliant catch of Miguel Olivo's low liner, but maybe it shouldn't be.

These are the Pale Hose, after all, and though we've coasted the whole ballgame, things go to hell in the seventh. Adam Dunn singles, Ichiro! blasts a ball into the right field seats and suddenly the game's tied. Faster than I can digest that, shorstop Aurilia's grounded out for about the fifth time in the series, but then 3B Mientkie**** singles to left-center. Pinch-runner Matos enters and finally somebody is running, and even though we know it's coming, there's no stopping him. Catcher Hammock strikes out, of course, meaning he is two for I think thirty-four against our pitchers this year, bringing up Nic Jackson with two outs, batting for his outfield mate Gottlieb. A base hit means the lead; he bloops one into center that looks like it'll suffice, but Vernon Wells makes a furious charge in and triumphant sliding grab, somehow, some way, I don't know how.

I don't know that it matters. At this point, things are just going to happen and I'm just along for the ride. Odie Perez is up around 100 pitches but he gets two quick outs in the eighth and fellow southpaw Eddie Guardado comes on to get the third, Podsednik on a failed bunt. (Why you would bring in a pitcher specifically for "Batless", I do not know. Boy does he suck!)

Kiko Calero relieves for the eighth because it will undoubtedly be switch-hitting Milton Bradley pinch-hitting, and then the top of the order: left-handed Pierre, switch-hitting Castillo, left-hander Dunn and left-hander Ichiro!, not that the side he bats from is particularly important. Too many lefties for PJ Bevis, but if Calero's control is off, we'll only have one inning to make up for it.

Reserve outfielder Bradley takes the first pitch thrown to him (guess he has been playing Operation a lot lately) and it is ball one. The second pitch is water on the knee - wide for ball two. Calero's third pitch is hit into right field for a single.

Same thing happens in the same sequence for Juan Pierre, including the base hit, which can't possibly be a good sign. So at that point I throw caution to the wind and bring in Bevis anyway. And as it is wont to do in this crazy game we call life, something incredible happens.

[ifspuds]

*@#$ing cliffhangers.

[Y0DA55]

Wha Happen?

[cknox0723]

We survive. Pierre gets thrown out trying to steal second. Luis Castillo grounds out to drawn-in shortstop Jack Wilson on a 3-1 slider; he fires across and there's two down. Bevis goes right at Adam Dunn, normally an imposing figure at 6'6" but not next to the smaller guy batting behind him, the unstoppable Ichiro!. Somehow it works. He flies out to left-center on a 2-1 fastball. We're still tied at two.

Octavio Dotel, Proven Closer (TM), enters for the ninth. Kennedy bounces to short, but Aurilia the cipher bounces the throw. We try to bounce our runner to second with his steal, but Dotel is wary and the take sign merely puts "Buddha" in an 0-2 hole. A mere formality - he doubles off the left field fence. Kennedy halts ninety feet from the lead. Vernon Wells is intentionally walked to load the bases with no one out. Eric Munson bats for Wil Cordero and hits a bouncer to second; Castillo throws home for the force. Bases still loaded, one out now. Frank Thomas, "The Big Hurt", the 39 year old .163 hitter, steps in.

It doesn't take managerial skills to call for a pinch-hitter in that situation, and it takes a hell of a lot of heart and foolishness to let the guy bat.

What would you have done?

[ifspuds]

Depends on my pinch-hitters. Do I have a guy that pounds righties (which Dotel is IIRC) on my bench?

Of course, if Hurt's hitting .163, I imagine everybody comparatively pounds righties.

[Y0DA55]

If you can't score one run when you had bases loaded and no one out, I revoke your right to manage a fictional baseball team.

[Vris]

Originally Posted by Y0DA55

If you can't score one run when you had bases loaded and no one out, I revoke your right to manage a fictional baseball team.

"

And whether I like Thomas or not; whether he's the face of the franchise or not; I pinch hit here.

[Astros33Resurrected]

Pale Hose! Pale Hose! I heart you Craig.