Yet Another OOTP6 Dynasty, Year 2: One Flew Over the Pale Hose

[CTSoxFan]

I love the Pale Hose!

[Jestor]

I knew it was going to be a frozen underworld kind of night when I saw Dreams again this evening.

The Pale Hose in the playoffs?

Yeah, Old Man Lucifer needs a sweater tonight.

[Y0DA55]

Yay! We get more baseball. I'm looking foward to the playoffs. Who are you playing? How do you think you will do?

[cknox0723]

Originally Posted by Y0DA55

Yay! We get more baseball. I'm looking foward to the playoffs. Who are you playing? How do you think you will do?

Not Cleveland since they are in-division, so I guess that means Seattle or the Empire. Probably the former. I am almost certain we will get our ass kicked, but this Pale Hose club has surprised me just by winning as often as they have. Still, if you graphed our season on an x and y axis, it would be in the shape of a bell curve. If we were in the E.R. I think we would have had a big spike on the EKG, but now the pulse is fading in and out and we have all but flatlined. Still, modern medicine and an ace pitcher like Buehrle can do wonders.

[cknox0723]

Wow, that font for Seattle in the last post was pretty darned bright. I'm getting rusty. Going to repair that ASAP.

But that will be tomorrow. We have two regular-season games left, with absolutely no pressure whatsoever...and I want the posts about them to reflect that fact. In the meantime, here are some final 2007 stats:

TEAM RUNS SCORED - 690, 23rd in MLB, 4th in AL Central
TEAM RUNS ALLOWED - 685, 10th, 2nd
TEAM WALKS - 499, 17th, 2nd
TEAM WALKS ALLOWED - 548, 26th, 5th

27 year old Mike Nannini's AAA stats while in the Montreal system: 8 games and starts, 56.1 IP, 53 H, 26 R, 20 ER, 8 BB, 57 K, 2-3 record, 3.20 ERA

"" Nannini's stats for the Pale Hose from 5/25 to now: 19 G, 18 GS, 107.2 IP, 96 H, 47 R, 44 ER, 31 BB, 55 K, 8-6 record, 3.68 ERA (P.S. - Of the 96 hits, allowed 41 doubles - wtf rating of his do you think is so low that you would get goofiness like that?)

Former top prospect and draft pick Chris Scarborough's composite minor league stats from June of last year through 7/21 of this year: 196 IP, 149 H, 87 R, 79 ER, 53 BB, 195 K, 13-10 record, 3.63 ERA

Scarborough's AAA record this year: 5-3, 5.45 ERA in 74.1 innings

Scarborough's record for the "major league" Milwaukee Brewers since the 7/21 trade which gave us "All-Star" OF Podsednik: 15 GS, 84.1 IP, 65 H, 30 R, 25 ER, 24 BB, 103 K, 13 HRA

That sure froze my banana but, hell, we are a playoff club and that's got to count for something.

P.S. Good thing I found a quieter font for Seattle because they are going to be our first-round opponent no matter the outcome of their games or the Yankees' these last two days of the season. Time to get used to typing [color=teal].

[cknox0723]

Originally Posted by cknox0723

We have two regular-season games left, with absolutely no pressure whatsoever...and I want the posts about them to reflect that fact.

It is Wednesday, 10/4/2007 in the game and now we have zero regular-season games left. I can smile and say that we lost the last two because, really, it doesn't matter. We're in the playoffs, a year after losing 93 games, two years after losing an even 100. The banana didn't dance for Mike "" Nannini in his last start; catcher Victor Martinez hit a rare home run in the first, former Pale Hose third baseman Joe Crede twisted the knife a little more with his team-high twenty-first jack of the season, and "Mr. September", Corey Patterson, clobbered yet another mediocre fastball way, way OOTP to lead off the third. Aside from that, Nannini only gave up one run...but that's a lot to set aside, especially since "" didn't pitch past the third. Eric Munson would hit a three-run double with two outs in the eighth, but another two runs to tie the game was not in the cards.

The final game of the season had the feel of a minor league game, since both lineups were peppered with journeymen and youngsters and only the occasional living, breathing ballplayer. It seemed most appropriate to test drive an idea I'd had for a while, to introduce a new wrinkle into things - manage both sides, so as not to win games solely because of a faulty AI. It was hard not to tell every Cleveland batter to bunt, especially with my boy Jon Rauch on the mound, but the 27 year old "Not-So-Wonderkid" left after five with our side ahead three to two, having never trailed.

The decisive run at that point had scored in the first; Scott Podsednik had led off the game with a triple, and rookie Hector Made had a nice first big-league at-bat, notching a run batted in with a hard-hit groundout to short. Veteran Wil Cordero would hit a two-run home run in the fourth off of greenhorn southpaw Rafael Perez, who had put a runner on with one of his four walks. Rauch would give those two back in the bottom half; longtime Pale Hose second sacker Ray Durham, the fifth-place hitter in this disjointed lineup, would whack a one-out double into the far reaches of left field, and he'd come home on a two-bagger by 22 year old mashing outfielder Cooper Brimer, the #7 pick in 2005 who would go two-for-three in the ballgame. Journeyman Shaun Larkin would bring him home with a base knock, but catcher Josh "The Score Bard" only sniffed but the whiff of an at-bat. Rauch would pitch out of the fifth unscathed despite putting the first two runners on, and so there we were at the end of what could have been an official game, up by a run as we'd been so many times all season.

We were shut down over the next three innings partially by our own futility and partially by a 29 year old right-hander named Scott Dohmann and a baby-faced southpaw of 24, Shea Douglas. But hard-throwing "Mercurial Kiko" Calero pitched a scoreless sixth, followed up in kind by PJ Bevis, who in turn handed the baton off to 24 year old Travis Foley, making his first big-league appearance after a 9-12 record and 3.35 ERA in 25 starts for AAA Charlotte. The only blemish on his inning would be the two-out double by another young and supremely talented outfielder, 23 year old Grady Sizemore, but with an open base, "Mash" Brimer would be wisely passed over for Shaun Larkin, who'd fan to end the inning. A scoreless inning by the left-hander Douglas would bring us to the bottom of the ninth, where the ball would go to trusty Proven Closer (TM) Joe Roa, saver of 37 games over the past two seasons.

Would number thirty-eight have to wait? Josh Bard singled to start the inning; Roa fanned Brad Snyder, a rare Cleveland outfielder rather lacking in talent. Pinch-hitter Coco "Choc-X by Familia" Crisp bounced out to short. Shortstop Ivan Ochoa was the last hope for Cleveland and maybe the best, considering his 36 home runs between A and AA, though his oh-for-four batting line (four-for-seventeen overall) suggested that maybe AA is not the majors. Somehow and some way the typically cool and collected and always in control Roa lost control for a moment and lost Ochoa to a base and balls. That brought up the number three slot in the lineup; in this psuedo major-league ballgame that meant Joe Crede, our sorry excuse for a third sacker last season who I'd occasionally describe as "better suited to AAA." For whatever reason Ohio suited him well this season, to a career-best 43 doubles and 140+ hits and 90+ RBI, and perhaps best describing what kind of ballplayer he is, a career-best OBP just above .320. Predictably, he had gone oh-for-four in this ballgame despite facing Jon Rauch and Travis Foley, guys who had pitched AAA most of the year. Predictably, Roa would get the count in his favor, then move to within a strike of his twenty-first save of the season and thirty-eighth under my intermittently wandering eye.

Then, predictably only because these are the Pale Hose, Roa would miss with a sinker and miss badly, going in the blink of an eye from a sure save to blowing the game in most spectacular fashion, by giving up a three-run walk-off home run to Joe Crede, infamous only for causing three thousand near walk-outs from yours truly for his infatuation with the groundout to second base.

It doesn't matter. We're in the playoffs. 85 wins, 77 losses, one wild-card berth and matchup with Seattle, who won 95 this year after 99 wins last season. They don't make you want to go hide in the corner like the Yankees lineup or the Cleveland starting staff, but damn does this team have talent. They have incredible, inimitable Ichiro!, who hit .344 to lead everyone and stole 93 bases, one more than our entire team, and he's not even their centerfielder. That would be Juan Pierre, who stole 66 bases to go along with an OBP of .342, fifteen or sixteen points above league-average. Ed.'s Note: 23, to be precise - AL OBP is .319 Batting behind the centerfielder is second baseman Luis Castillo, who is not worth the free-agent millions he got this past offseason and is also not the base thief his 42 steals may indicate, as his theft efficiency is rivalled only by the art thief, but with 29 home run man Adam Dunn batting behind him and even the threat of speed, Castillo will do. Catcher Rob Hammock hit a career-high twenty-four home runs this season, and 36 year old shortstop Rich Aurilia added twenty-one, driving in 101 runs and perhaps cementing his place in this universe as Seattle's second-greatest shortstop evah evah. There is a Proven Closer (TM) in Octavio Dotel, who has saved 33 games each of the last two seasons, and left-hander Odalis Perez and right-hander Tomo Ohka are ace-caliber pitchers. This team is flawed; there are some low batting averages and some mediocre pitchers, and Doug Mientkiewicz has suddenly become a third baseman at age 33 after ten years of first base. Granting, his .290 batting average may make up for his fake third baseman-ness.

However, there is a reason this Seattle club has sailed to nearly 200 wins in the past two seasons. I have more than just an inkling that we're about to find out exactly why. All we have is Esteban and "Jon Moo", "Wild Thing" and "Hackin' Miggy." Buddha could sit under the bodhi tree until 2035 and not find meaning in that; there is some element missing that is keeping us from going to "Scarborough Fair", and it's something we can't reap with a sickle of leather.

But parsley, sage, rosemary, thyme, dancing bananas and "The Buehrle One" might be enough, especially with "Gumby" and "Pokey", Yorvit! and "Tabby" and hired gun Vernon "Hitman" Wells tagging along.

These are your Pale Hose, in the playoffs.

[ifspuds]

Gooooooo HOSE!

[rem]

Good stuff, Craig.

[Y0DA55]

Originally Posted by cknox0723

It seemed most appropriate to test drive an idea I'd had for a while, to introduce a new wrinkle into things - manage both sides, so as not to win games solely because of a faulty AI.

I do this for All-Star games. I hate how the computer never puts everyone in, so I take over for both sides.

Good luck in the playoffs. I don't know who to root for, as that is one Seattle team I would love to see play at Safeco. But because they don't actually play down there, I might just go with the Sox.

[cknox0723]

Being as the regular season has ended, I could get all up on you with tables and pump you full of statistics and standings and recaps and lessons to learn for next year. But I won't, for one simple reason.

For these Pale Hose, there's still baseball to play.

So let's get to it. Game 1, ALDS, at Seattle's Safeco Field. Our pitcher is left-hander Mark Buehrle, who threw 242+ innings this season and ran up a 17-8 won-loss record and 2.79 ERA. He won't win the Cy Young, not in a league where Pedro Martinez had an ERA nearly a run lower and not when John Lackey won twenty for a .500 ballclub.

But what a shot of confidence it is to have such a pitcher on the mound, especially with an opponent as unassuming as Clint Nageotte, a 26 year old rookie right-hander with a 14-10 record but below-average 4.66 ERA. He's starting the first game of the playoffs because the stupid stupid AI pitched ace lefty Odalis Perez in the last regular-season game and ace righty Tomo Ohka the game before that. The Mariners had already sailed to the division title by then; presumably these guys needed to pitch so the club could lock up the best record in the league.

This game...this damned game...so frustrating sometimes. Things like that make me want to throw OOTP Out of the Computer.

Then, for kicks, I clicked on Nageotte's game-by-game record. Apparently he has started against us twice this season; in the fifteen innings he pitched, we've only scored one run (none earned). Here's the merest of mentions of the first lockdown; the second was sometime in August, after I clicked the "sim like crazy" button.

Fingers crossed that the third won't be in October, right here and now. Time to find out. Hope you're right here right now to follow along in real-time.

[cknox0723]

Figure I should make a note of the Pale Hose twenty-five man roster before getting the fireworks underway.

Pitchers - Buehrle, Loaiza, Garland, Nannini, Franklin, Miller, Calero, Otsuka, Bevis, Roa

Came close to leaving off Miller in favor of "Wild Thing" Ankiel. My heart really wants today, especially since "Wild Thing" looked great in four late-September innings (no walks, three strikeouts). However, Seattle doesn't really have that big left-hander to neutralize; first baseman Dunn, maybe, but the indication is that his kryptonite is a strikeout pitcher, not one who throws with the off wing. And would you really expect Ankiel to ever retire .350 hitter Ichiro! or even .300 hitting leadoff man Juan Pierre? So the enigmatic Miller it is.

Catchers - Olivo, Torrealba

Pessimist in me says that Yorvit! won't hit and so "Hackin' Miggy", with his stronger arm, should get more playing time.

Infielders - Catalanotto, Kennedy, Vazquez, Munson, Thomas, Cordero, E. Wilson, J. Wilson

Holy heck, that's an awful lot of infielders. Probably because the non-hitting Wilsons come two by two. At least Enrique plays multiple positions and Jack can pick it at short.

So much to talk about with our infield; interesting how it is the seemingly replaceable players, not the stars, who have the key to this ballgame buried somewhere in their mitts and bats. Will the streaky Munson jack some more pelotas OOTP in this series, or show why he spent three years knocking down AAA fences? Is Vazquez's .344 batting average going to matter one iota now that it's the PLAYOFFS? Will "Gumby" Kennedy get the opportunity to flash his sleek leather? Is Frank Catalanotto enough of a professional hitter that his steep drop-off over the last two months don't matter?

More important than all of that, at least for one guy who has written umpteen posts on a fictional text-sim ballclub, a guy who most certainly has heart -- however many games we have left are the last of Frank Thomas's career. "The Big Hurt" only batted .163/.237/.281 in 178 at-bats this season and .225/.325/.399 as a part-time player last year; followers of the trials and tribulations of a team known as the Pale Hose have not seen the guy that hit 513 home runs in this universe, not even anything resembling him. But Thomas has been privileged to finish his career the right way in this wonderful OOTP world -- still a part of the ballclub he's played his whole career for, and winning. Justice and fairness are concepts we are always striving for, and I don't know about you, but cknox0723 the person (not the fictional baseball manager) is always searching for that feeling where everything just seems right. It may only be a fictional moment but Frank Thomas has that and it's kind of neat.

So, in honor of that (and because I am rambling)...

Outfielders: Podsednik, Wells, Ordonez, Gonzalez, Diaz

Matt Diaz can hit lefties, supposedly and sort-of, so he is on and young Clinton King is off, despite a couple of September home runs. Those are your Pale Hose.

This is the Seattle lineup the Pale Hose will face in game one:

32 year-old switch-hitting 2B Castillo (.282/.351/.367, 42 SB)
30 y-o LH CF Pierre (.289/.342/.375, 66 SB)
27 y-o LH 1B Dunn (.249/.371/.448, 109 BB/165 K)
33 y-o LH LF Ichiro! (.344/.404/.479, 93 SB
36 y-o RH SS Aurilia (.271/.314/.430, 34 2B, 101 RBI)
30 y-o RH C Hammock (.236/.304/.418, 50 BB/146 K)
33 y-o LH 3B Mientkiewicz no, not some fictional guy -that Mientkieguy (.289/.389/.367, but a worse 3B than Eric Munson, who was once a catcher)
28 y-o LH RF N. Jackson (.262/.328/.340 in ~300 AB; .316 avg in limited time against LHP and very fast)
26 y-o RHP Nageotte (14-10, 4.66 ERA in 193 IP throwing lots of changeups, a two-seam fastball that reaches 92-94 on the radar gun, and a mediocre slider; a .500 pitcher the last three years in the minors whose stuff has translated better to the majors than one might have thought; .119/.145/.119 batting line)

Hoo boy, we're in the playoffs!

[cknox0723]

49 degrees, sky is clear as Clint Nageotte finishes his warm-up tosses and settles in to face that vaunted Pale Hose lineup:

SS Vazquez- LF Podsednik- RF Ordonez - CF Wells - 3B Munson - 1B Catalanotto - 2B Kennedy - C Torrealba - P Buehrle

First pitch is a fastball straight and true, to the delight of the home crowd. "Pokey" Vazquez probably could've given it a real wallop had he chosen, but I wouldn't've swung either.

Next offering from Nageotte has a little too much giddyup on it; his third is a well-intentioned changeup, but it's too close to Vazquez in the left-handed batter's box and too far from the inside half of home plate to do any real good. The right-handed moundsman's in a 2-1 hole, a rather innocent-looking count that often has a more sinister edge, but he climbs out of that hole with a sharp slider. Vazquez hacks at it and hits a nothing ground ball to the right side. Second baseman Castillo scoops it up and pegs him out.

Scott Podsednik, that ******, strikes out looking on a 1-2 fastball, surely unleashing a torrent of insipid vulgarity across the South Side of my Chicago. "We gave up Scarborough for him?"

Magglio Ordonez, like any good #3 hitter, turns rather uninteresting balls and strikes into a long at-bat, fouling off a few tough two-strike pitches and eventually working the count full. Nageotte's payoff pitch delivers some kind of payoff; put it this way, if Ordonez had been home plate, it would have been a hell of a strike three. Hit batsman is fine by me; unorthodox or not, we've got our first baserunner, and somehow now I feel like our 85-win club belongs.

Don't get all excited and think we might actually score runs, though. That would just be silly.

[Y0DA55]

Hey... it's only your first ups! Keep your chin up

[cknox0723]

"Two outs here in the top of the first of the American League Division Series, and stepping into the batter's box for the visiting White Sox is the cleanup hitter, right-handed hitting center fielder Vernon Wells, who batted .282 with 27 home runs and 98 runs batted in the regular season. Wells batted just .247 with the Pale Hose after joining them in early July, but he did blast 16 long balls in his three months with the club. The big right-hander Nageotte is staring in to his catcher Hammock. Clint's settled into his stretch position, and he's centered himself almost perfectly on the mound. The perfect location to ignore Magglio Ordonez at first, he seems to be thinking, paying no mind to the Pale Hose baserunner as he kicks and fires a devil of a changeup, right on the outer half of the plate for a called strike. Wells steps out briefly and takes a quick, easy half-swing at the air. Now he moves back in, and again Nageotte's ready to go quickly. Here's his oh-one offering...fastball, off the plate, Wells takes a hack anyway and somehow loops one up and over the right side of the infield...and into right-center for a base hit. Ordonez is around second and heading for third, Nic Jackson's going to come up firing...his throw is up the line and Ordonez is in their safely, and now Mientkiewicz fires down to second...not in time to get a hustling Wells! Ozzie Guillen is gleeful on the bench, folks. A bloop single with a man on first and two outs gives the Pale Hose runners at second and third for the longball threat, Eric Munson."

Might be a good time to mention that three days ago and one day before the regular season, I inked Wells to a three-year, twenty-million dollar extension (seven million per year). Podsednik may not be the jolt we expected, but that trade for Wells was inspired (not to mention dumb luck). I'd expand, but Eric Munson's digging in.

[cknox0723]

Munson grounded to second base on a 1-1 changeup. Hit batsmen and bloop singles and hustle and nothing. Nageotte loves those changeups. Still, he's no Mark Buehrle.

[cknox0723]

Buehrle comes out firing. He gets ahead of Luis Castillo, and then he really digs the leadoff man in deep with an untouchable 1-1 slider, and then he finishes him off with another sharp breaking pitch. Grounding to third base is a victory for Castillo. One gone. We can do this.

Or...no. Juan Pierre does good with an 0-1 fastball that catches too much of the plate, stinging it over shorstop for a solid single. Suddenly his 66-steal speed is a worry, the powerful Adam Dunn is at the plate, and Buehrle misses with his first pitch and then his second. The too-selective Dunn takes a decent fastball for strike one and also backs off on a sharp 2-1 slider that evens the count. Buehrle goes with a 2-2 change of pace, and Dunn is out in front of it, hitting one on the ground to the right side.

"Gumby" Kennedy, the second base wizard, the Gold Glove candidate, the elastic package of computer bytes, muffs it. Maybe it's Dunn's oxlike biceps that give some juice to even his less than ordinary hits, or maybe we just don't belong. Ichiro! steps in, poised to put us in a hole that we'll never get out of...and Buehrle pumps in strike one and strike two faster than Ichiro! can uncoil his whiplike swing. The Kagusai Kid makes things interesting, as always, by fouling off a few pitches, but the inauspicious start to his at-bat led to an inauspicious end, as he does nothing with a 1-2, 94 mile an hour two-seam fastball except pop it up, sky high and about twelve feet in front of home plate. "Pokey" Vazquez gloves it and maybe things aren't over yet.

The incomparable Buehrle gets ahead of shorstop Aurilia with one strike and then another, doesn't stop there and throws a hellacious 0-2 fastball on the outside corner. Aurilia pops that one up. 66-steal man Juan Pierre speed is all for naught as Frank Catalanotto squeezes out number three some sixty-five feet up the first-base line.

Mark Buehrle, infield pop-up artist extraordinaire.

[cknox0723]

Frank Catalanotto, professional hitter, cracks Clint Nageotte's first pitch of the second inning for a solid single. Adam Kennedy is the next batter and after two misfires, he has himself a favorable count. Compensating for his first-inning error, "Gumby" cracks a 2-0 fastball into left-center for a single. Two men on, no one out.

Yorvit! pops out to shallow right-center, Buehrle strikes out on a rank bunt, and Ramon Vazquez -- "Pokey", the .344 hitter who came through over and over again -- pops up on the infield. We can leave runners at first and second, too.

Buehrle's pitch selection to leadoff the second inning is not carefully considered, and catcher Rob Hammock gives a fastball a long ride into left-center field, but the awe of the crowd and the whispers of "Oooooh" keep the ball aloft long enough for Vernon Wells to track it down. Our ace southpaw makes short work of the two left-handed position players at the bottom of the home lineup; Mientkieglorp the third baseman fans on three pitches and Nic Jackson, the young right fielder, takes a mighty swing at an 0-1 fastball and -- whoosh! -- hits the ball about four feet. I guess he could not K because that letter is missing in his first name.

[cknox0723]

Scott Podsednik, the dashing All-Star outfielder, the sparkplug and speedster, the all-around talent who makes the most of his rather modest talents, strikes out looking to "start" the third inning. I hate him. Magglio Ordonez makes up for it with another long at-bat. Showing the zen and zeal of a true "Buddha", again he works the count full, again he fouls off close pitches. Nageotte's forty-ninth pitch of the ballgame is his fourth ball to Ordonez, giving us another baserunner. Eventually one of 'em's got to score, right?

Nageotte runs up a full count on Vernon Wells, who then fouls off a pitch or three. I am thinking that's a good sign even though Wells is retired on the ninth pitch of the at-bat when Nageotte threw a hittable fastball that our right-handed center fielder simply swung under. I guess it was a good sign -- Eric Munson gets a favorable 2-0 count and then swats a solid single to right, giving us runners at the corners for Frank Catalanotto. He pops out to left-center to end the inning.

Only solace is that Buehrle looks utterly unhittable; he retires his opposing moundsman with one pitch, and leadoff man Castillo on two, both giving Ramon Vazquez some very weak fielding practice. Buehrle's first pitch to Juan Pierre, who laced a single first time up, is a howling fastball that Pierre frog-blinks at. Unhittable. Strike one.

His next pitch is up and in. Pierre can't or won't get out of the way. Just like that, there's the mind games to play with the 66-steal man on base and Buehrle's fallen behind Adam Dunn. He doesn't groove the two-oh fastball, but he holds enough back that it's swatted for an easy single. Runners at the corners, Ichiro! at the plate. Trying to maintain a hold on things, I call time and give Buehrle the metaphorical pat on the butt and sage advice to "be careful with this guy." He listens...too well, losing the unorthodox cleanup man to a walk, loading the bases for veteran Rich Aurilia, an RBI Machine (TM) this season with 101.

[cknox0723]

It's at that chaotic point where Buehrle somehow reaches back for more, pumping in quick strikes and then dazzling Aurilia with the 1-2 changeup to end all changeups. A third of the game down, and enough ups and downs for a whole series.

The fourth inning levels off a bit. Nageotte makes quick work of our bottom three, as the ball don't leave the infield. Eric Munson rips my heart with a throwing error from third base that gives Seattle's fourth-inning leadoff man second base. But left-handed batters Mientkieblah and Nic Jackson are quick outs, leaving Rob Hammock still standing at second base with two outs for the pitcher Nageotte. Frustratingly, Buehrle alternates balls and strikes; for the grand denouement he loses the pitcher to a walk, missing (and badly) with a 3-2 fastball. Yet the leadoff man Castillo is a quick strikeout victim, and so no harm is done.

The top of our order bats in the fifth, but they're no more successful than the bottom three were in the fourth. I guess that'll happen when leadoff man Vazquez takes hitting lessons from incompetent second man Podsednik, who actually flew out this time instead of striking out for a third at-bat. "The Buehrle One" is his typical burly one in the fifth, making quick work of the first two left-handed batters, even if they are speed demon Juan Pierre and massive #3 hitter Adam Dunn.

The trouble starts with Ichiro!, who clubs a two-out single to right. Completely distracted by the ninety-steal man, Buehrle walks Rich Aurilia on four pathetic, puny pitches, giving an RBI chance to Rob Hammock, who has reached base twice. One strike goes in true; another leans toward false and sneaks out. At the 1-1 crossroads, the southpaw offers up a change of pace and the right-hander is all over it, lacing a liner into left field that cuts through the air like the paper airplane I could never make.

Scott Podsednik's mad dash to retrieve it is improbably successful, ending his run as the team's Benedict Arnold. I guess it was inevitable; it would have been some kind of tragedy for the Pale Hose to trade Scarborough for some complete incompetent, and it would have been a real tragedy to lose the first game of an incredible playoff run because of shoddy defense when that's the reason we're here in the first place. But the Pale Hose have been more comedy than tragedy, at least for me.

[cknox0723]

Nageotte is up around ninety pitches entering the sixth and I guess that is his tipping point. He runs the count full on Vernon Wells for the second consecutive A.B. and "Hitman" takes advantage of the precarious situation by cracking the payoff pitch for a one-base hit. Eric Munson takes one out of the zone, then another, and on the 2-0 pitch we finally see this ballgame's pendulum swing, as Munson's big home run cut results in a BIG HOME RUN, bigger than that text even. It's a no-doubter that I guess answers the question of what sort of factor he'd be in this series.

The three batters after that are quick outs, but Buehrle pitches a one-two-three sixth against the bottom of the Seattle order, retiring pinch-hitter Milton Bradley batting for Nageotte to end the inning. Southpaw Chad Zerbe turns the trick in reverse in the seventh, retiring pinch-hitter Wil Cordero on a long fly out to right-center to start the inning, and then making quick work of lefties Vazquez and ****sednik. The top of the Seattle order is up in the seventh, but after six strong innings, Mark Buehrle's no longer at the helm, keeping the ship steady.