Yet Another OOTP6 Dynasty: The Pale Hose

[Jestor]

Congratulations, Craig!

I know I could never go through 162 game season game by game by game... the slow pace would kill me

I can hardly wait to see what the offseason brings

BTW, I almost did the Achebe thing in my 17 inning game.. I remember thinking it when I typed Things Fall Apart in.. I think it was the top of the 14th. Great minds think alike and whatnot

[Vris]

*tear

And so, the year ends in the greatest baseball story ever told. But what lies in store for the Pale Hose? Will 2007 be as successful as 2006? Will The Crazy Russian resign with his beloved team? Will Craig finally give up and not play out every game? Will Craig lose it, sim the entire 2007 season, and just post the results? Will Craig lose this team to "computer problems" again?

Only time wil tell.

(Craig, excellent job! But I think you goofed. Game Ball 162 most certainly goes to you for sticking with this club and doing a fantastic job with the reports. KUTGWC!)

[DAL 9000]

Originally Posted by The Funk

As I seem to sound like I'm making a toast, let me finish thus. Gentlemen, to 2004's #1 dynasty. To Craig and the Pale Hose!

The Pale Hose! Long may they prosper, and congrats.

[CBLCardinals]

Originally Posted by cknox0723

Courtesy of the ultra-successful "Foul Balls for Guns" campaign, the streets of Chicago are ultimately...well, let's not worry about the fictional streets of a bunch of binary digits, hmmm? In any case, I think I've got enough baseballs together for this very last Game Ball. So, #162 goes to...

And1pg2, BadluckinOOTP, bostonbaseball86, canadiancreed, Carlton, CBLCardinals, CobraTaz13, copper888, Dagrims, DAL 9000, Dargone, darkcloud4579, dougaiton, Dougiestyle, Dreamscape, El Cid, endgame, Fool Inc., Ford Prefect, Gastric ReFlux, gocubsgo, Goodsox, gordyhulten, Jestor, Luis_Rivera, MarkyMark1908, MattStewNYY, Mike D, Mike Ivie, NYJuggalo45, NYM Fan 31, pat, pschwalb, seth70liz76, soc624, Tavarin, The Funk, UngratefulDead, Vris, and Y0DA55

Thanks to each and every one of you. I wouldn't have made it this far without your support and feedback, and I'm indebted for it, for I'm awfully glad this is still going. I really do enjoy writing it.

Enough sappiness and manlove. Now that we've gotten this far, it's time to close the door on this puppy and move on to bigger and better things -- namely, 2007!

Thanks for a great read!!!
SOX ALL DA WAY in '07!!!

[cknox0723]

First of all, much thanks for all of the comments. They're worth a lot more than just one throwaway line, but if I type any more, this post will go on for pages and pages. So instead of that, here's the end to 2006, at long last.

THE AL CENTRAL IN THE YEAR 2006

Cleveland Indians.......98-64 (.605, 7th AL Central flag)
Kansas City Royals......82-80 (.506, 16 GB, 21-game improvement on '05)
Minnesota Twins.........78-84 (.481, 20 GB, worst record since 2000)
Detroit Tigers..........70-92 (.432, 28 GB, lowest profit of all 5 teams)
Chicago White Sox.......69-93 (.426, 29 GB, 7-game improvement)

The awards came and went without a Pale Hoseman rewarded. Javier Vazquez and Mark Prior, who combined for 45 victories in nearly 500 innings, were pretty easy Cy Young picks, though a cadre of similar pitchers like Jason Schmidt must certainly curse their timing. Tyler "The Yankee Clippard" brought home likely his first of many awards by receiving the American League's Rookie of the Year, and a 27 year old second baseman named Jake Gautreau won that award in the National League with a .331 average and 16 home runs. Brian Giles of the Friars was the consensus best everyday player in the league, and Eric Chavez came out on top of a tightly contested American League race thanks to 44 home runs overshadowing a .335 OBP. And for the curious, Julio Lugo finished 284th, behind both Mark Prior, who didn't play a game in the American League, and the Jolly Green Giant.

Finally, the second season, and there's a full season's worth of storyline there. For everyone's sake, I've shortened it to a long paragraph or three.

The de facto World Series favorite, the 109-win Empire, had their gonfalon bubble pricked before it even expanded, as their fantastic season came to a quick and sudden stop as they went down in four games in the first round to John Lackey and Los Angeles of Anaheim. The ace right-hander, a native of Los Angeles of Abilene, TX, threw two gems and didn't allow a run, with the finest performance of his career coming in the clinching fourth game -- a complete game two-hit shutout. In the other American League matchup, Clifford "The Big Red Bartosh" played the role of "Manny's Lackey" against Seattle. The 20-game winner played a deciding role in the nip/tuck battle not televised on FX and outdueled Tomo Ohka in the fifth game to send the Tribe onward, ho.

In the League of Lesser Importance, the Cubs took down the Dodgers, just to take away more of our fan base, and the Rockies also won in four games, toppling The Other New York Team and setting up the potential for an all-purple World Series. How vaguely homosexual (not that there's anything wrong with that, of course).

Nevertheless, it was not to be. The Cubs, behind Prior and Wood, pushed the Rockies off of Pike's Peak in six, and much to my surprise, the ballyhooed ALCS was a huge letdown. Josh Beckett, Proven Playoff Pitcher, was at top form, as was the much-maligned Cleveland bullpen, and Anaheim could manage just one win in five tries.

That set up an awful, awful World Series, at least from the perspective of the Pale Hose. Our crosstown rivals against our divisional rivals? Why not just hold the damned games in U.S. Cellular, while you're at it?

Actually, if I played the games out, I could have done that. Too bad I didn't. Would have been amused me, at least. Erm, anyhow, the Tribe got stellar work from C.C. Sabathia (and the Sunshine Band), winning both of his starts by the score of 5-3, and though Mark Prior was brilliant in game one, he was chased by the fifth in game four. Bartosh and Kerry Wood won one each, and there you have it.

The anatomy of a World Series champion from the AL Central. And next year, the Pale Hose will follow that same guide, step-by-step. Like George Zimmer, I guarantee it.

[MarkyMark1908]

I'll guarantee the entire league is quivering at the thought of the Hose actually improving themselves this offseason.
Good luck though - get these guys out of the cellar and make the 500 or so still-loyal Sox fans happy!

[Vris]

Gotta make you proud to see the World Series Champion come out of your division. And you played the Indians well this year, which gives you hope for next year. Am I right? Come on people!

[canadiancreed]

wow'

just

wow

first off gracias for the game ball, i shall mount it on the wall.

second, while IRL i'd loathe the Pale Hose ('92, Jays fan, nuff said). this is one of the best dynasties out there. good luck with teh off season and remember, youth is your friend

[cknox0723]

Well, I have hit the button, so it's time for this thread to go BOOM! and go into a time capsule. Thanks again for all of the support along the way, and look out for year two, coming to a thread near you!

[Vris]

A whole new thread? I don't know if I can get used to that...

[UngratefulDead]

Originally Posted by Vris

A whole new thread? I don't know if I can get used to that...

We fear change!

[seth70liz76]

Change is our friend! Though to be honest, I think I'm hopeing for another 65-75 win season from the Pale Hose; but that's because I'm afraid, just like Rock Hunter, success might spoil him.

[The Funk]

I don't want a new thread I like this one. I say get the Kansas GM in to sort out the Pale Hose. C'mon Craig, they did worse than the Sox last year and now they're 13 games up! Sign some people. Particularly a certain Yankee backup whose initials may or may not be RG. Commit this offseason dammit. (I was re-reading the start of the thread). Actually I have a question about that was it always your intention to use nicknames or did they just start building from post 14 I think it was when you mentioned Mr Zero and then went on to call Julio hacktastic although i think you said that he hacks a lot or some derivation thereof earlier and in fact might have bolded the text and nicknamed him for certain in post 14 as well although I think I might be wrong about that but still the original question still stands. Also, whatever happened to Garrett Stephenson? ( I think that was his name)

We should get this thread to 800 posts, for purely metric reasons.

[Vris]

Well then we need 6 more posts! Let this thread retire with dignity!

[cknox0723]

Why are we trying to get to eight hundred posts again?

I mean, die, thread, DIE!

[cknox0723]

dola,

Garrett Stephenson blew out his arm in his first AAA start. Funny how OOTP only knows ratings, right?

And the nickname thing just sort of mushroomed. Inexplicable, really, but I couldn't imagine it any other way.

DIE, DAMN YOU!

[DAL 9000]

Heh heh heh. He said mushroom. Heh heh. Heh.

Since you've Hit the Button, Craig, can you tell us if any of the Pale Hose won a GG, at all?

[Jestor]

Originally Posted by DAL 9000

Heh heh heh. He said mushroom. Heh heh. Heh.

Since you've Hit the Button, Craig, can you tell us if any of the Pale Hose won a GG, at all?

The awards came and went without a Pale Hoseman rewarded.

I'm guessing from that bit there, that it would be a no GG for CWS

[UngratefulDead]

Originally Posted by Jestor

I'm guessing from that bit there, that it would be a no GG for CWS

Who'd have won anyway?

We should let Craig have the final post.

[cknox0723]

finishing 29 games out means first place isn't near
but if you liked the thread anyway, never fear
to read more of the woes
of the chicago pale hose
all you have to do is click here!