UTBA-II Boxing League

[Brooks TVB]

Originally Posted by mikehoudini

BINK GAZETTE July 3, 2008

It is a sad day in Binkville, as the mighty Binks have struck out! After being soundly beaten by the powerful Bears Unstable, a loss that propelled the Bears into first place, our Binks traveled to Memphis, Tennessee, to take on Brooks Bombers on June 27. This was the first of two inter-conference matches, and the Binks had high hopes. The Battlers were in last place in their division, so the Binks expected to compete in a good contest!

Led by Max Schmeling (9-1), Juan Palacios (8-2) and Jermain Taylor (7-3), the Battlers had a seasoned squad, and had added several new fighters, including a young giant, Jess Willard. There is no point in keeping the reader in suspense regarding the outcome. The Binks were pummeled in the worst performance of their young tenure, propelling the Battlers into second place in their division, a two position jump!

A loyal following of several buses full of Bink fans made the trip, and sat dazed as the Binks lost the first eight bouts! No typo, folks, it was eight straight defeats! And that might have been the highlight of the night! The Cocoa Kid got a sitting ovation as he broke the dry spell with a decision over Young Corbett. Alas, Young Corbett II was knocked out by Mike Dundee. Amina Sade and her friends had been unable to make the trip, and this may have affected the Bink performance!

At halftime, the score was pitiful! Brooks Battlers were the leaders in wins, 12-4, leading in points, 39-11.5! Henry Hank managed a split decision win against level 3 Gilbert Cohen, and the lightheavies had a rare double win, Oakland Billy Smith beating Allan Green and Melio Bettina knocking out Vitali Kopitko. That was it, just four wins, in the half!

Having dug a hole almost halfway to China, the Binks were submitted to an epic tongue-lashing at halftime, and team captain Hasim Rahman was livid! He himself had lost, a disputed majority decision to Schmeling, but at least he acquitted himself well, and the Binks will be reviewing the footage of that fight, as they thought Max was going down to his second defeat.

The Binks were much more competitive in the second half, fighting the Battlers to a near standstill, going 7-8-1, losing on points by a 28-23.5 margin. They were much more competitive, as Mack Lewis had dissected the opening half and the Binks were able to adjust, but why didn’t they do this from the get-go? Maybe it was the Rock’s impassioned words that got them going! Maybe it was Mack’s instructions! Who knows? In any event, for those of you out there who don’t like to do your math, the final totals were Brooks Battlers 20-11-1, with a 67-35 pasting in points!

In terms of Fighter of the Week honors, that went to Carmelo Negron of the Battlers, who came into the week 1-9 but notched two first round knockouts against our lightweight tandem, Bummy Davis and Buzzsaw Yamabe! The Binks have initiated an official inquiry as to whether some foreign substance was in his gloves!

In actuality, there is always a Bink Fighter of the Week award, and this week’s co-winners are the light heavyweight duo of Batman and Robin, a.k.a. Melio Bettina and Oakland Billy Smith! For the first time ever, they both went 2-0, Melio with two 8th round knockouts, Billy with two unanimous decisions (the Binks had many would-be anonymous losses)! Honorable mention goes to feather Jose Badillo, who stopped Mike Dundee in 8 and took his losing fight into the 10th, both strong efforts against higher level boxers!

In terms of the Bum of the Week award, the winners are many. If you were to do a search on the word “disappointing” in a dictionary, you’d see a picture of bantam Horace “Boots” Monroe, who was stopped twice more and whose record is now a gaudy 2-10! His protégé, Danny O’Sullivan, is obviously learning all too well from Boots, as he was knocked out, twice, both times in the first round! It may be that, 90 days after Saint Patrick’s Day, his boxing skills begin to wane, rapidly! He was 4-1-1 at that date, but since has been stopped 6 times in a row!

Young Corbett II was counted out twice against lower level fighters, and is now a Boots (synonym for disappointing) 5-7. Young Tommy West also was a KO victim twice, and Bummy Davis lost two, only one on a KO. Billy Daniels, our newest addition, started off 0-2, being KOd by Jess Willard and being stopped by Schmeling on cuts in the 11th, in a fight in which he may well have been ahead. Still, Billy gave us hope for a brighter future with his bout against the German.

Our German, middleweight Max Resch, split, getting a decision win, evening his record at 6-6. Chocky Chockvivat lost a close one to 9-2 Juan Palacios and lost on a freakish cut to Johnny Buff. His partner, Jackie Brown, took Palacios to Round 11 and then stopped Buff in 8! Buzzsaw Yamabe continues to be a crowd-pleaser, though the crowds may shrink based on this week’s performance, as he upset the favored Al Roth and is now 7-5!

The Cocoa Kid had a freakish technical draw in addition to his win, and Hard-Luck Henry Hank, after his split decision win, took on Jermain Taylor. In a surprising result, durable Hard-Luck was knocked out in the 6th! The Rock stopped Willard handily, and believes he deserved the nod against Schmeling.

Mack Lewis, in a post-match interview said “Sure, we’re disappointed by this poor showing, bit it was probably due to happen, as our guys are young and came in a bit cocky. We rebounded nicely in the second half, and the boys now know that we need to fight both halves, as no one in this league is a slouch! We have an extremely tough match next week, against the leaders of the Figg Division, the heralded Hebron Haymakers! We’re resilient, and hopefully can learn some lessons from the shellacking we took tonight! I have to salute the Battlers, as they came ready to rumble!”

All year long, we’ve been talking about the one letter distinction between scrappy and crappy. There’s no doubt which the Binkies were tonight. They are now firmly entrenched in last place, 13 wins and 45 points behind their closest division rival. Through Week 6, they are 1-5, with a record of 86-101-5. Improvement is needed, or the fans will be staying away in droves!

The Binks will at least be home this week, but the Hebron Haymakers, owned by the sage boxing wizard Chris Conn, are prohibitive favorites. With the recently-acquired 10-2 Michael Nunn, the twin terrors at lightweight, Robin Blake and Edwin Valero (both 10-2), and super over-achiever Joe Symonds (10-1-1), they are tough customers. Add in the fact that nine of their roster have advanced to pre-prime, whereas only four Binks have, and it could be a long night! Chocky would like to slow Symonds down, and Buzzsaw Yamabe and Bummy Davis are psyched to meet the Terrors.

But it looks like an uphill struggle to me. Their best chance might be for some of their loyal fans to waylay the Hebron bus and flatten the tires, so as to get a forfeit win! Truly enterprising fans could stop at each of the three possible routes the Haymakers could use to reach Baltimore, so as to work their magic. Short of that, perhaps some changing of street signs is in order?

The owner is hopeful that the loyal Baltimore fans will continue to support the Binks. Amina Sade has promised knockout pre-game, half-time and post-game performances by herself and her friends, as well as a special incentive to the Bink Fighter of the Week, and fan of the night, so that hopefully will be incentive for those fans that are wavering.

In closing, the Binks got bonked this week, and then some, worse that the matadors who turned their back, to please the crowd, and fell prey before the bull (with an assist from the Association)! I almost titled this article “Requiem for the Binks.” The Battlers soared in the standings (then again, almost everyone who has played the Binks lately has soared in the standings) while the Binks remained mired in the muck in the dank and dreary basement. Can we break this streak? When do we play Left Jab again? Or the fine team from Toronto?

Bink Fever, catch it! You’ll only wish you died!

We strongly deny that any foreign substance was used on the gloves of Negron.

[SAL]

Third round of the waivers are done. Waiver wire is now closed until the end of week 7.

Transactions in the waivers..............

Bald Beavers claim BW (7)Piero Rollo 0-0-0 (0) *beginning
and release BW (5)Katsutoshi Aoki 4-7-1 (2) *pre-prime

[SAL]

The Hebron bus broke down on the way to Baltimore. By orders of the commish, the starting time for the Hebron/Baltimore contest has been moved to mid-morning July 4. Besides that, the commish was last seen tipping a few last night while watching fireworks but he should be sobered up by morning.

[Tommysixfingers]

Ah, it's 4th of July. Americans really know how to celebrate this day.

In '02 we went down to camp Bondsteel in Kosovo to watch the show that the U.S Army had put together. My god, those dancers were a welcome sight for a tired, swedish soldier

[mikehoudini]

Originally Posted by SAL

The Hebron bus broke down on the way to Baltimore. By orders of the commish, the starting time for the Hebron/Baltimore contest has been moved to mid-morning July 4. Besides that, the commish was last seen tipping a few last night while watching fireworks but he should be sobered up by morning.

The Binks are happy that the match has been rescheduled, as we wouldn't want a forfeit win of, say, 96-0, no way! Well...maybe! Our fans, supplemented with a few of Toronto's finest, will be poised to help fix or tow the bus if it breaks down again!

I'm cleaning my house this morning after having done white knight's duty by taking a stranded, drunken woman from my watering hole to her home last night, after her newly-acquired boyfriend deserted her. That was a 70 mile, several hour affair.

Have a Happy Fourth, everyone! I'll be making another 70 mile run around noon, but this to attend my best buddy's daughter's engagement party, which will be this evening AFTER we consume a bushel of steamed crabs and partake of a few beers! I'll miss the Catonsville fireworks for the first time since 1983, unless it rains a lot this evening and they are postponed. Come on, rain.

Scot, I hope you enjoyed your fireworks, and I hope the Binks put on a competitive showing against the Haymakers! The check-scray is in the mail-scray!

[mikehoudini]

Originally Posted by Brooks TVB

We strongly deny that any foreign substance was used on the gloves of Negron.

1-9 record coming in. Two first round knockouts! And one over my durable Chocky. Very implausible. Very improbable! The defense (which obviously was non-existent in the fights) rests! The verdict, guilty as charged!

[mikehoudini]

Originally Posted by lethal liberal

Yeah,Left Jab is always a cure for a struggling team. I am hoping to change that however. Another cool Binks Gazette.

Thanks, Hugh. With your waiver pickups, I think you'd turn the tables on us.

[mikehoudini]

Originally Posted by Romultiltus

Leading doctors and scientists at Yale University are intrigued by the "Bink Fever" and are exhausting all of their vast resources in order to find a cure. But for now, as the losses pile up, "The Rock" and his teammates will have to live with one of the more disfiguring side effects of the fever...

Great picture, Dave!!! Just have those distinguished docs let me know first if they find a cure! We might want to infect others, and withhold the antidote! Another disfiguraion I've noticed is the bumps on the back of the head from falling to the canvas!

Looks like a long season, but great drafting potential.

[mikehoudini]

Originally Posted by Mad Bomber

Mike, another great edition of the Gazette, and I don't think you will have to worry about crowd support, as during our team rally this week several of our fans were asking how long it take to get to Baltimore, and you thought you had problems.

Greg

We welcome all your fans, Greg! And that's a great Willie Pep quote! Now the damned housecleaning is waiting, so I'm signing off and have to get cracking.

[SAL]

The Hebron bus made it to Baltimore finally. Looks like they brought a lot of fireworks with them to celebrate either victory or the fourth.

[SAL]

July 4, 2008 - Baltimore Civic Center, Baltimore, MD

Hebron Haymakers @ Baltimore Binks

Bout Results:
(Hebron Haymakers listed first)

Fly- Joe Symonds W KO 1 Chokchai Chockvivat (Symonds advanced to pre-prime)

Fly- Napa Kiatwanchai W KO 10 Jackie Brown (Brown advanced to pre-prime)

BW- Alberto Castro W KO 2 Boots Monroe

BW- Luis Bolano W KO 1 Danny O'Sullivan (Bolano advanced to pre-prime)

FW- Jorge Monsalvo W KO 1 Jose Badillo

FW- Royal Kobayashi W TKO 4 Young Corbett II (Corbett II advanced to pre-prime)

LW- Robin Blake W KO 6 Buzzsaw Yamabe (Blake advanced to pre-prime)

LW- Edwin Valero W TKO 4 Al Davis

WW- Billy Lynch L TKO(c) 6 Cocoa Kid (Lynch advanced to pre-prime)

WW- Barry Brown W KO 8 Tommy West

MW- Frank Wissenbach W UD 12 Max Resch (Resch advanced to pre-prime)

MW- Michael Nunn W UD 12 Henry Hank

LHW- Chad Dawson L KO 6 Melio Bettina

LHW- Chris Finnegan L UD 12 Oakland Billy Smith

HW- Mike Weaver W KO 9 Billy Daniels

HW- Ron Lyle L KO 10 Hasim Rahman


Halftime Score:
Hebron Haymakers 12-4-0 (KO-8) (T/Ud-4) = 40
Baltimore Binks 4-12-0 (KO-2) (T/Ud-2) = 13
========================================

Fly- Napa Kiatwanchai W KO 10 Chokchai Chockvivat

Fly- Joe Symonds W KO 10 Jackie Brown

BW- Alberto Castro W KO 1 Danny O'Sullivan

BW- Luis Bolano W TKO 4 Boots Monroe

FW- Royal Kobayashi W KO 4 Jose Badillo

FW- Jorge Monsalvo W KO 2 Young Corbett II

LW- Robin Blake W KO 4 Al Davis (Davis advanced to pre-prime)

LW- Edwin Valero W UD 12 Buzzsaw Yamabe (Yamabe advanced to pre-prime)

WW- Barry Brown L UD 12 Cocoa Kid

WW- Billy Lynch W KO 6 Tommy West

MW- Frank Wissenbach W UD 12 Henry Hank (Hank advanced to pre-prime)

MW- Michael Nunn W TKO(c) 8 Max Resch (Nunn advanced to pre-prime)

LHW- Chris Finnegan L UD 12 Melio Bettina

LHW- Chad Dawson Draw(e) 12 Oakland Billy Smith

HW- Ron Lyle W KO 4 Billy Daniels

HW- Mike Weaver L TKO 5 Hasim Rahman

========================================
Final Score:
Hebron Haymakers 24-7-1 (KO-16) (T/Ud-8) = 81
Baltimore Binks 7-24-1 (KO-2) (T/Ud-5) = 23
========================================

[SAL]

Some new records were set in the last match.

Hebron breaks their own marks in:

Most Wins (24)

Most Points scored in a match (81)

Fewest Losses (7)

New records set:

Most KOs (16) Hebron Haymakers - breaks the old mark of 14 held by Bears Unstable, Stockholm's Finest & Brooks Battlers.

Fewest Wins (7) Baltimore Binks - broke the old mark of (8) held by Toronto.

Most Losses (24) Baltimore Binks - broke the old mark of (23) held by Toronto.

Fewest KOs (2) Baltimore Binks - ties the mark of (2) held by Toronto.

Fewest Points Scored (23) Baltimore Binks - broke the old mark of (25) held by Toronto.

[CONN CHRIS]

The Haymakers had to make a quick escape as they drove their bus through angry mobs in the streets of Baltimore. The crowd had just realized that rolled up copies of the Bink Gazzette make fine torches when the bus cleared city limits.

[mikehoudini]

Originally Posted by CONN CHRIS

The Haymakers had to make a quick escape as they drove their bus through angry mobs in the streets of Baltimore. The crowd had just realized that rolled up copies of the Bink Gazzette make fine torches when the bus cleared city limits.

What a shellacking! My four light weight classes went 0-16!!! and with only 4 of those fights lasting any distance. It may be time to trade everybody in. Danny O'Sullivan may have set a record for 1st round KOs, alas on the wrong side.

It looks like we're having a love affair with futility, and the Bink presses may need to shut down for a week. Well done, Chris. I thought we'd do a little better!

And I still haven't finished cleaning! Argh, I've put the word out to let the bus escape, as we'd probably just set Oriole Park on fire by mistake! Or, worse yet, my house.

Time to go hide like an ostrich for a month or two!

[SAL]

I have just been informed that I'm needed to assist my better half in going to a craft show. I don't think it is so much me as it is my truck that she's wanting.

I wonder what I'm buying today?

Sorry for the delay in week 7 fellas. We will also be attending a family cookout this evening, so I have no idea of what time I'll be able to get back on the UTBA. There went my plans for a day of boxing.

[SAL]

Originally Posted by mikehoudini

It looks like we're having a love affair with futility, and the Bink presses may need to shut down for a week.

Well....at least you have some new records to write about.

Sorry for being a smart-@$$ Mike. Just thought I'd get my shots in on your guys while they're still laying around licking their wounds wondering what just happened to them.

[CONN CHRIS]

Now that the team bus has rumbled into New Jersey, I've had a little time to reflect and I feel bad about the whole thing. I'm sorry Mike, can I make it up to you by scheduling a few freindlies?

[Mad Bomber]

Christopher, just think you have one more match with me upcoming, and could possibly set another record considering what happened last time.


Greg

[CONN CHRIS]

Originally Posted by Mad Bomber

Christopher, just think you have one more match with me upcoming, and could possibly set another record considering what happened last time.


Greg

Oh Canada!

I really hope that your team from North of the Border shocks us all when they mature.

Christopher

[Mad Bomber]

Ohhhh Canada, I thought I would have broke through by now, perhaps it was the opening week against the Assassins when we split the fights, and I only lost because of a DQ, and lack of punching power.

Greg