Yet Another OOTP6 Dynasty, Year 2: One Flew Over the Pale Hose - Page 34

zukes · 01-30-2006, 06:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cknox0723

And, hey, come to think of it - my employer accepts Canadian currency.

What the hell does that mean?

It means that if your place of employment sells beer and I'm in the neighbourhood there's a good chance we'll meet.

Thanks for the update.

The Funk · 01-30-2006, 06:26 PM

Nice. Just wondering, any chance of maybe seeing some stats? I know you're not a big stats-based-dynasty-guy (neither am I), but after 662 posts it would be cool to get a quick look at how your guys are doing individually. Of course if you don't feel like it then you should do it anyway because I said so and I'm really, really, really important. Jesus said so, and that brother knew a thing or two.

Vris · 01-31-2006, 12:58 PM

I used my whole lunch break to catch up on this thread and write this response.

Only half kidding.

Questions, comments, points, bullets....

*Welcome back Craig. I wish I could've bumped this up a few more times with some witty remark.

%Thoughts on the Rangers: You say the team is pretty much the same, so they should still be "on pace", if you will, for 86 wins. Yet, they are not. Is that because they are getting older (Washy destroys that thought) or everyone else (especially in their division, but everyone else altogether...in the AL anyway) got better? Can we say that, given the "huge" season the Pale Hose have put together despite being a last place club just a season ago? Wouldn't that support the theory everyone got worse (no offense, not trying to downplay your season..just using applied logic), including Texas? But they didn't change.

#A couple stats would be nice, as our British friend has alluded too. Nothing major, just a couple of numbers to appease those of us who enjoy those types of things.

$PM forthcoming, by the end of the week. I need to get back in touch with my roots.

!As for that big trade, considering it is June 28th, it's up to you and the direction you want to go. Obviously you are surprised by the quick upward movement of your team to the top of the standings, and obviously staying there would be very nice. You do have some pieces in the lower levels that you are less than anamored (I have no idea how to spell that word) with, so parting with them to bring in another pitcher wouldn't be too bad (I say pitcher because your infield is pretty golden and your outfield is pretty silver...see that, an Olympic analogy just weeks away from the Games!). I say, if you can find that deal that you like, in which you can keep the Fishing Village, by all means go for it. Unless you are looking more towards next year (will The Art of Suck revert back to his old form...is your MI this good...how long can Buehrle carry this team on his back, from a rotation standpoint), which would make sense since you didn't plan on competing this year.

I've written too much. Glad to hear from you Craig.

Jestor · 01-31-2006, 01:58 PM

*summons his Pitchforks and Torches Armee`*

The Yankee Clipper or no one at all for Scarborough Mediocre!

(p.s.: feel free to trade anyone else for anyone else though

)

orin2 · 02-01-2006, 06:42 PM

I think making the trade is always a good idea. Of course, that might be why my team is always sub .500

The Funk · 02-02-2006, 03:30 AM

Yeah when it come to trades I find it helpful to think of things like this; If the Yankees hadn't made the trade for Ruth, would their legacy have been so historic? And if Boston hadn't traded Ruth, would they not have sucked quite so badly for the next 90 odd years? I hope that puts it all in perspective.

canadiancreed · 02-02-2006, 03:34 AM

damn your'e.......winning! WTF?!

Jestor · 02-02-2006, 03:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Funk

Yeah when it come to trades I find it helpful to think of things like this; If the Yankees hadn't made the trade for Ruth, would their legacy have been so historic? And if Boston hadn't traded Ruth, would they not have sucked quite so badly for the next 90 odd years? I hope that puts it all in perspective.

It's only appropriate that the Yankees should be mentioned in post #666

The Funk · 02-02-2006, 04:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jestor

It's only appropriate that the Yankees should be mentioned in post #666

didn't spot that, nice.

cknox0723 · 02-02-2006, 11:22 PM

hey, there are a lot more posts here than the last time I was here. could get used to that! thanks to one and all, both for the long and short replies, the symbolic and straightforward. however, I am going to ignore them all. sorry. don't take it personally.

but you'd much rather read about the Pale Hose, than how much I love you. wouldn't you?

but if you want trades...maybe next week.

suffice it to say I had a momentary change of heart.

besides, just because there may not be a trade until next week doesn't mean we will necessarily proceed with some losses. right?

right?

anyway, here are some stats or something.

cknox0723 · 02-02-2006, 11:24 PM

Yorvit Torrealba and Miguel Olivo have caught all seven hundred four and two-thirds innings in the seventy-eight games we've played so far, and in half a year they have already contributed as much as Miggy and Mike Piazza and the dearly departed Jason LaRue did last season.

Olivo's relative success this year is rather inexplicable, though his .269 batting average is right around last year's .265 mark. $5 if you took the over on .250 as Miggy's average last season. It is the five home runs in just 108 at-bats that's been so surprising, and they may tie in either to the fact that he has only batted thirty or so times a month, mostly against left-handers, or perhaps more directly that he's already walked eight times, compared to his hilariously low total of 6 (in 253 AB) last season. His gun has also been golden, as he's thrown out an impressive 12 of 19 potential base stealers, best among all backstops in the bigs who've caught at least 50 innings.

Miggy Olivo has had a lot of virtues, but the resurrection of singular-named catcher Yorvit! has been a hell of a lot more fun. The great baseball minds say that most players have their best season at the age of 27, but Torrealba played himself right out of San Francisco last season with some cringe-inducing numbers as the backup to the perpetual .290 hitter AJ Pierzynski. Three for thirty-two in April (an .094 AVG, for those scoring at home), two for twenty-five (.080) in May, three for thirty-one in June (.097). An oh-for-seven, four strikeout line in July (all before the All-Star break), and that was all for Yorvit, banished to triple-A Fresno, never to return even as he put up a .327 avg/.381 OBP/.488 SLG in 168 at-bats. Hell, with an eight for ninety-five composite line with zero extra base hits, you probably would've kept him there, too.

But we were desperate for a backstop this offseason, any old ambulatory guy. The free agent market was dry, the trade market even drier because who the hell were we going to trade? So after journeying across the Nile and back looking for a backstop, I see this guy who's fallen behind someone named Todd Jennings on the organizational chart, and he's Miguel Olivo-lite, which is basically like eating carob. So we send them a couple of guys that suck (but they're young, so give 'em the prospect stamp and everyone wins) and we have a new catcher, a man who's a career .255 hitter with a little bit of pop (21 doubles in 204 at-bats in 2005) and a penchant for drawing 14 walks a year (that's his total in the BB column in 2002, 2003, and 2004, all in part-time play). Only blemish are those two little numbers right next to each other, eight and ninety-five, in that order. Seeing them next to each other is either big-time trouble or some sort of 256 spill-over error that would probably cause these fine boards to crash. In Yorvit's case, it was the former.

But away from the left coast and the earthquakes and all of that, Yorvit did his usual thing in April and again in May. A little bit of batting average, a couple of home runs, a free pass here and there to put Miggy Olivo to shame. Then this June...it's been like a twisted movie opening, to the delight of the 15,000 Pale Hose faithful that jam into the Cell every home game. Twenty-four hits in 60 at-bats, including six doubles and two long balls. That's a .400 average even, and a .600 slugging percentage. Eight walks (more than Miguel Olivo drew in how many AB's last year?), and his season line reads .297/.344/.446, an OPS that's some sixty points above the league average for all batsmen, and seventh in the league among catchers, behind only such hallowed names like JD Closser (COL, and the best hitting backstop of all) and Kevin Cash (CIN), Jason "Goggles" Phillips and a rejuvenated 87 year old Pudge Rodriguez, who at a .322 average is about 100 points higher than last year's mark. Despite all that, the Cats still ain't got no claws!

Future Hall of Famers discovering the fountain of youth again is kind of neat, but give me a man who pulls himself up over the edge of the cliff with only his teeth any day of the week. Yorvit's got his share of warts, throwing out a below-average one-fourth of opposing base stealers, you just know he ain't goin' end up the season hitting .290, and I heard Mike Nannini took exception to Yorvit's judicious use of "caliente" that one day. But we've gotten more production out of him than all of the schmucks we had back there last year at the low, low cost of three hundred fitty grand, and what a name. Yorvit!

ifspuds · 02-03-2006, 12:40 AM

It's been far too long since we've had a good Yorviting!

Yorvit!

orin2 · 02-03-2006, 10:53 AM

"Yorvit steps up to the plate again, taps his cleats with the bat and digs in. Here's the 3-2, payoff pitch. Fastball low and away! Yorvit manages to catch a piece of it. A long fly ball to left center field! Going....going... GONE. Yorvit puts this one into orbit and the Pale Hose win a close game against the hated Indians, 3-2!"

I just wanted to use the phrase Yorvit puts this one into orbit.

cknox0723 · 02-07-2006, 01:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by orin2

"Yorvit steps up to the plate again, taps his cleats with the bat and digs in. Here's the 3-2, payoff pitch. Fastball low and away! Yorvit manages to catch a piece of it. A long fly ball to left center field! Going....going... GONE. Yorvit puts this one into orbit and the Pale Hose win a close game against the hated Indians, 3-2!"

I just wanted to use the phrase Yorvit puts this one into orbit.

bueno! muy bueno, even. I applaud you, sir. I am going to have to steal that one, giving you proper credit of course.

There was a request for some stats and so you got some stats, but I got tired of that **** so here is another, different post. Some stats are within it if you really need a fix, but I really just had to go with the flow. I hope you will understand. I think you will.

cknox0723 · 02-07-2006, 01:13 PM

For a moment, or a day, at least, all eyes that would be on the Pale Hose (or at least mine) are on first-place Minnesota and third-place Cleveland, because they're duking it out in the frigid north while we're travelling to even more frigid Toronto. It's a win-win situation for us even though we're not playing, because a Cleveland loss puts us a full game ahead of them, and a Minnesota loss puts us into a tie into first place in the division. Right-hander Ben Sheets is on the mound for the first-place club, shooting for double-digit victories, already having won more games than he had in all 35 of his 2006 starts, and Jake "The Fiddler" Dittler, the 24 year old with the sweeping curve and dancing changeup, is on the mound for Cleveland. Sheets gets into trouble right from the start when leadoff man Alex Escobar reaches on a throwing error by second baseman "Jayback" Bartlett, and consecutive singles by #3 hitter "Odysseus" Gerut and cleanup man Ben Broussard put the first run of the game on the board. Shortstop Angel Berroa plates both of those guys with a hard-hit liner down the left field line, and Cleveland still has that 3-0 edge after one full inning is in the books.

But innocuous singles by former Pale Hoseman Brad Fullmer and backup catcher Rob Bowen lead to big trouble in the home half of the second, as right fielder Eric Byrnes, an offseason pickup from Oakland, comes through as he has so many times in this still-young season, booming a bleacher blast to right to knot the game up at three. Dittler comes completely unglued in the next frame, giving up a pair of looping, run-scoring singles to weak hitters in second baseman Bartlett and catcher Bowen to give Minnesota a 5-3 lead. The hated Tribe get one back in the next half-inning, though, keyed by Angel Berroa's leadoff triple into the right field corner, and sticking with their moundsman Dittler pays off as he coasts through the next three frames, facing just one batter over the minimum. Ben "Pillows and Sheets" takes a nap after six as well, giving way to hard-throwing right-hander Scott Linebrink. He retires the first batter he faces, another former Pale Hoser in hot cornerman Joe Crede, but pinch-hitter Shaun Larkin scalds a single to right and the pinch-runner for him, starting center fielder Corey Patterson, steals second base. It would have all been for nothing if Alex Escobar's rabbit ball to short had been the third out, but it was only the second, and a successive single over second base off the bat of catcher Josh Bard ties the game up at five. Then outstanding right fielder Jody Gerut comes through as he did so many times last season, whacking a heavy fastball down into the right field corner to bring his backstop all the way around and give Cleveland a 6-5 lead. Late-inning leads haven't meant much for an Indians team that's blown so many in the last year and a half, and when soft-tossing righty Brian Meadows whips up a seventh-inning sandwich of singles and strikeouts, but with the wrong meat, Tribe fans can only curse the fact that they didn't sign a flame-throwing man like Seattle closer Octavio Dotel when they had the chance prior to last season. But former Pale Hose first baseman Brad Fullmer makes me grin by striking out just as he did some 55 times last year, and light-hitting middle infielder Jay Bartlett can't get the clutch Luis Sojo tag, bouncing a harmless grounder over to third base to be gobbled up by Joe F. Crede. Rafael Betancourt, one of the few half-decent relievers on the Tribe club, finishes off the eighth with no harm done, and a Joe Crede double to lead off the top of the ninth leads to an insurance run that Proven Closer (TM) Dave Riske doesn't even really need, as he faces three batters in the bottom of the ninth, striking out Lew Ford for out number one and then retiring Corey Koskie on a bouncer to first that goes 3 to 6 and back to 3 to eliminate both speedy shortstop Alex Cintron, who had led off the inning by slashing a single to right, and Koskie himself. The rally-killer lives up to its name in so many ways, snuffing out the Twins' status as a first-place club and moving the red-hot Tribe, winners of five in a row, just a half-game out of first, creating a logjam that had previously only been seen in the National League's Eastern and Western divisions. In the former, Florida and Atlanta have reigned supreme much of the season, but the Mets are finally starting to justify much of the hype thrown at their high-priced club, and the three clubs are within half a game of each other. And in the latter, Colorado's oft-mentioned early season pitching success has slowed a bit, as they have seen much of the good work by journeymen starting pitchers Aaron Cook (6-4, 2.64; 6-10, 4.67 last year) and Brian Anderson (8-3, 2.79 after an 11-6, 4.00 season) negated by a bullpen that has had trouble getting to Proven Closer (TM) Billy Wagner and has seen the 35 year old show his age anyway (38 saves, 1.32 ERA in 2006; 16 saves but a 5.40 ERA this year, and 10 HR allowed in 42 IP). This has opened the door for all of the mediocre California clubs in the division, which have also benefited from strong pitching. To wit, one of them, Los Angeles, just defeated the NL Central-leading Cubs, one to nil, in one of those games where the line score says it all:

Code:

TEAM	1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9	R   H   E
CHC	0  0  0  0  0  0  0  0  0	0   4   0
LA	1  0  0  0  0  0  0  0  0	1   0   0

No joke. Ace North Sider Kerry Wood, an 18-game winner last season, made just his eighth start of the season in this one after a torn tricep in early April shut him down for much of May and early June. And the rust was still showing, as he plunked leadoff man Mike Cameron on the game's third pitch. Cameron stole second and a slightly frazzled Wood walked hacktastic shortstop Cristian Guzman. First baseman Shawn Green, not quite the powerful hitter he was in the late 90's, but still carrying that sterling reputation, was pitched to carefully and drew a free pass to load the bases. Cleanup man and left fielder Cliff Floyd walked to force in a run and the little white pill was poised to bleed blue runs. But right fielder Gabe "Shanya Punim/The Good Face" Kapler flew into a 7-5 double play (so says the game log) and third baseman Antonio Perez was no match for the high-nineties flames. Inning over... one run, no hits, no errors. Score: Los Angeles 1, Chicago (N) 0. It could have been 1-0 on the flip side, because third baseman Rob Mackowiak had led off the ballgame with a double into the right field corner, and North Side second sacker Brendan Harris had drawn a walk. But then the Cubs hit the same speed bumps they have hit most of this season -- center fielder Andruw Jones, whose reputation perhaps supercedes his status as #3 hitter, struck out swinging, left fielder Jason Bay (.241) bounced to short, and catcher Dave Ross (.250) did the same. Jones' .238 batting average is not so far off from his .241 mark in 2006, and the same for Ross, who is still a productive backstop considering his 20 HR power (and he has even seen a hike in his walk rate this year, having drawn 35 already after 43 BB last season). But Jay Bay hit a monster .360 last season in leading the North Siders to a league-best 97 wins and eventual league championship. You expect a little decline; that is why the Cubs shelled out the big bucks for former Minnesota southpaw Barry Zito this offseason. Their rotation is unbeatable when fully healthy, and as their near league-leading runs allowed total suggests, even when they are dealing with a few injuries like the one Wood suffered, they are still pretty damned good. But 34 year old league-average shortstop is the team's leading hitter at .274, and even though the club has as much power as a utility company, they have still struggled to score runs. Such was the case in this ballgame, as their best chance against Dodger right-hander Jeff Weaver was in the first frame, and they came up empty. They moved a runner past first base just twice the rest of the way; in the fifth, 16 HR man Rob Mackowiak struck out to leave Alex Gonzalez at second after he had walked and moved up on his pitcher's sacrifice, and in the ninth, Chad Bradford relieved Weaver after he ran out of gas and allowed two-out singles to catcher Ross and first baseman Richie Sexson, and he struck out pinch-hitter Todd Walker on four pitches to end it. The Dodgers put exactly two men on base after the first, both on lonely walks. It didn't matter.

Sure, the Cubs are a million games up in the moribund NL Central and they started backups at first, second, and right field in this game, but what a blow to the ego to watch your pitcher throw a no-hitter...in a loss. But how wonderful and wacky it is to a start a day looking straight ahead and straight ahead only and end up doing an about-face because there's something more interesting on the other side of the river. It just proves that if your eyes are solely focused on one thing, you're going to end up missing out on something else.

ifspuds · 02-07-2006, 01:17 PM

A no-hitter loss. I love it! And to my boys in Blue. I always expect the Dodgers to be on the losing end of those things, whether in the Palehoseverse or the real world.

Vris · 02-07-2006, 10:01 PM

That post has a lot of words. Colorful even.

This is why I love to see this thread bumped.

cknox0723 · 02-08-2006, 03:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vris

That post has a lot of words. Colorful even.

This is why I love to see this thread bumped.

Sentences, too.

In all seriousness, it still astounds me that people enjoy reading this but I am glad for it. I am just the messenger, but the Baseball Gods tell me there has been another Pale Hose game played, so I guess it is time for another bump.

And this one even has paragraphs! (Probably not enough, though, I never was very good at grammatical stuff)

cknox0723 · 02-08-2006, 09:46 PM

Matt DeSalvo, a skinny 26 year old right-hander with a decent changeup and a fastball that leaves you wanting, will make his second major league start for everyone's favorite Empire at some point over the next three days, while we are playing around in the Great White North. The Yanks are home against Texas, those rats.

DeSalvo is just filling in while Kelvim Escobar spends some quality time on the DL, nursing the same right shoulder that cut his 2006 season short after just 13 starts and prevented the 2004 and 2005 All-Star from raking in the really big bucks. (Four years, nearly $20 million ain't bad, but this guy went 16-9 and 17-9 in the last two seasons he was healthy, over in Anaheim) DeSalvo's first start was a real gem, seven-and-a-third innings, three hits and no runs, seven strikeouts. (Four walks, but who's counting?) Granted, it was against an o-ffensive o-ffense in Baltimore, but his debut along with the handful of others that've caught my eye over the course of this season makes me wonder if I accidentally jacked up the Moonlight Graham setting or somethin'.

I might also add that the Empire, in their never-ending wanderlust, has submitted a waiver claim to the league for 28 year old southpaw Ryan Snare, a pitcher with a 13-19, 4.61 career line who is currently toiling in AAA. Snare's success, both at the major and minor league levels, has been very modest, mostly because his fastball ain't that fast, his curve ain't that sharp, and his control is good except when it's not. But he is typical waiver fodder, the kind of guys that are claimed in the real MLB universe, so I am glad to see the OOTP waiver system work right in that regard. It validates the painstaking efforts I take to prevent waiver wire mayhem, manually moving players off waivers that should never have been there in the first place. But I like the general idea of waivers, the notion that a pitcher like LHP R. Snare might get an opportunity somewhere that he'd otherwise never have, and pitch lights-out for a time like he did in May of '05, going 4-0 that month with Oakland and winning Pitcher of the Month. So on waivers will stay, and maybe at some point I will have the settings in this universe just right so that interchangeable, replaceable guys like Snare are the only ones on the waiver wire 99% of the time.

Snare is currently with the Toronto organization (at least for the next five minutes), so there is your transition back to the Pale Hose if you like things neat & clean. I am not so sure our first game of this three-gamer will be so neat and clean, though, even with Jon Garland (8-5, 3.79) on the mound. Even though our guy hasn't lost since being on the short end of a 1-0 game against Boston on May 19th, and even though we're not facing Toronto's own Mark Buehrle in right-hander Roy Halladay, I have my doubts. Maybe it's their moundsman's 3.06 ERA, or maybe it's just that I look at right-hander Jason Davis and his 7-16 record last season, his improvement this season, and see Jon Garland. Once upon a time you might have laughed at that, but Garland's had the last laugh for much of this year, so who's laughing now? Perhaps, though, I really have all these doubts because of all the positive indicators that say that our opponent is a hell of a lot better than 34-41: 9th in home runs, 12th in walks, 9th in runs scored despite the fourth-lowest team batting average in the league at .247. Major league leaders in walk prevention, so despite being 23rd in opponents' average and 18th in HR allowed, they're 15th, decidedly in the middle of the pack, in runs allowed. They have the (aging) monster Magglio Ordonez wishes he was -- 1B Carlos Delgado, second in the AL in big flies with 21, and they have the younger semistar in his prime years that we...um...don't? in centerfielder Vernon Wells (.305/.343/.487 and well on his way to a third consecutive All-Star game).

But we sure as hell have got something, whatever it may be, something that's put us on top of the Central standings with a 42-36 won-loss record. However, it ain't on display in the first inning, 'cause Ramon Vazquez, Adam Kennedy, and Magglio Ordonez go down in order 1-2-3 on a grounder to short, a liner to third, and a bouncer to second, and then my boy Garland walks Toronto leadoff man Orlando Hudson on four straight pitches. There is why I had some doubts about this one.

But then some of that moxie -- no, some of that defense -- comes to the rescue. Hudson takes off for second right away, but Yorvit Torrealba nails him with a laser right on down there. That pressure eviscerated, Laynce Nix is a quick out on a bouncer to first...but then up steps Delgado, the hulking figure waving a huge piece of lumber. He smashes the first pitch he likes, hard on the ground to the right side...but, oh, that defense. Adam "Gumby" Kennedy makes a spectacular diving stop, pegs it over to Frank Catalanotto at first and the crisis, as it were, is averted.

And the Pale Hose, this collection of misfits and castoffs, take things over. Second inning singles by first baseman Catalanotto and rookie left fielder Clinton King don't lead to any runs, but it's a sign of the third-inning barrage that is to come. With the score still zero-zero and one out after Jay Davis fanned his counterpart Garland, leadoff man Ramon Vazquez digs in. And as he has so many, many times this year, "Pokey" takes a little poke at a pitch that just missed and sends it flying into the outfield, giving him time to tear around first base and cruise into second for another extra-base hit. Two batters later, Magglio Ordonez comes through in the most half-assed way possible, with a checked-swing single to left field, but it gets us that run and leads to more, thanks to the virtues of Frank Catalanotto and Eric Munson (whose name is fun to scream aloud - MUNSON!).

The only trouble is that Garland gives it all back. It starts with an innocuous single by eighth-place hitter Dave Berg, and then a walk to the pitcher. Leadoff man Orlando "Darkwing" Hudson singles to right, Garland starts walking people, and I have eerie flashbacks to outings from so many Junes prior. .200 hitting fifth hitter Alex Rios continues a terrible trend by making yet another out to stop the bleeding at two, but the only names I'm screaming alound now are not actual names, but expletives. When the top of the Toronto order gets back up in the fifth inning, they...make two quick outs. Hudson grounds to first, LF Laynce Nix hits a comebacker.

But it's only two. Not good enough. The titan Delgado follows with a sharp single to center to start the mother of all two-out rallies. Cleanup man Mike Restovich clobbers one down into the left field corner to plate one, centerfielder Rios ignores his terrible season for two seconds to smack a single to left and make it 4-2, home team. Garland hands out a walk to 3B Eric Hinske and then the underrated backstop Guillermo Quiroz delivers the big blow, a screaming two-run double off the left-center field wall or baggy or whatever the hell is out there. 6-2, other guys. I don't see any point in pitching around the eighth place hitter at this point, so I telepathically tell Garland to pitch to Dave Berg and he does just that, setting him down on el strikos. Obviously, it's no consolation.

But got to play out the string, right? And so Eric Munson starts the sixth inning by looking at a smattering of pitches, most of which are your garden-variety crappy, which is to say off the plate. A walk. That'll do just fine for the OBP, but ain't gonna get us no four run comeback.

cknox0723 · 02-08-2006, 09:52 PM

So Munson trots down to first after the old BB and centerfielder Brian Anderson assumes the position. And smacks a solid single to left field, one that would have been quite alliterative had left and field actually been spelled sleft and sfield. We've got two baserunners. Hooray, the go-ahead run is only about five batters away at this point. But then rookie LF Clinton King draws a...wait for it...a walk! to load the bases for the mighty catcher Yorvit!. Just for the hell of it, I tell all-or-nothing backup Russ Branyan to grab a bat and step into the on-deck circle in lieu of Garland. Just for kicks.

You know, had Yorvit put one into orbit at this point, the game would have been tied. Ain't that funny? Instead...he slashed a line drive over second baseman Hudson and into the outfield. Munson ambled home, the lithe young outfielder Anderson tore around third and bolted home as Alex Rios cocked the right arm and fired...BAM, bullseye, right into the glove of Guillermo Quiroz.

But too late to nail Anderson. 6-4. Yorvit, Yorvit, Yorvit!, you are my hero. Still, we're down a pair and up a creek if we can't keep on bringin' those runs around. Russ Branyan steps in, falls in a two ball, two strike pit like you might expect a .111 hitter to do...but then Jay Davis flings a wild one. It rolls to the backstop, Clint King rolls home, Torrealba to third. It's 6-5. Branyan lets another misfire go by and trots down to first, the third recipient of a Jason Davis walk today, quite unlikely for a man who had walked just 19 men in his first 85 frames.

Davis exits, stage Mountie. Erstwhile starter and card-carrying journeyman right-hander Kip Wells comes on to pitch to dynamic shortstop Ramon Vazquez. "Pokey" takes a strike, bides his time, cradles the bat lovingly as though it were not a piece of lumber, but an actual breathing being, capable of both emotion and thought, tenderness and expression...

He sees a fastball, he whips the lumber forward. "****!" is the cry from the pitcher Wells as the little white sphere careens off his leg, but it's drowned in the crowd noise, and probably my cry of, "Holy ****!" The ball deflects over towards shortstop, but Dave Berg has no play. It's six-six thanks to a play-by-play sequence I'd never seen before.

Good old Kippers is all champagne and caviar, say his trainers after a long consultation, just a little bruise so rub some dirt on it and all will be well. Besides, the adrenaline's kicked in, and these could be the best innings he'll give you in five years. Sure enough, with the go-ahead run on second, Adam Kennedy pops out to shallow right-center and then Magglio Ordonez does just the same. But with two outs and two men still on, Frank Catlanotto waltzes towards the box, and no adrenaline can match the bo-dacious wave that "Tabby" is riding right now.

"One and one to Catalanotto, the former Blue Jay who's two for four today. Wells to the set, Branyan a few steps off second and Vazquez making Chubby Checker proud about eight feet from the first base bag. Quiroz pounds the mitt, sets up and here it comes...breaking ball, hanger, Catalanotto swings and now it's hanging in the air again, on a long ride to right field! Rios going back and that ball is...off the top of the wall and now caroming towards the infield. Catalanotto eases into second as Rios relays it in, Branyan has scored easily and Ramon Vazquez comes chugging home unimpeded. It's a two-run double to right for Frank Catalanotto to cap off a six-run sixth for the Pale Hose, who've coming storming back from a 6-2 deficit to take an eight to six lead."

Catalanotto, after a ninth-inning fielder's choice puts him at three-for-five in this game, is seventeen for his last thirty-three, which is just silly.

I could give you the glorious details of how we protected that eight-six lead, but all you really need to know is that the sphere was passed from Akinori Otsuka to Mike Gallo without a hitch, and then when the southpaw ran out of steam in the ninth, Joe Roa came on in and "The Pied Piper" just lulled 'em to sleep to get the save. Equally exciting is the report that Cleveland took down Minnesota again, 11 to 5 with a 6-run seventh, and we are in first effing place, if you can believe it. That's as worthy of a

as anything I've ever heard of.

CHW 8 TOR 7

WP: J. Garland (9-5) - 5 IP, 7 H, 6 R, 5 BB, 4 K
LP: J. Davis (6-5) - 5 IP, 8 H, 7 R, 3 BB, 4 K
S: J. Roa (4)

Wow.

01-30-2006, 06:26 PM	#662
The Funk All Star Reserve Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Watford Posts: 903	Nice. Just wondering, any chance of maybe seeing some stats? I know you're not a big stats-based-dynasty-guy (neither am I), but after 662 posts it would be cool to get a quick look at how your guys are doing individually. Of course if you don't feel like it then you should do it anyway because I said so and I'm really, really, really important. Jesus said so, and that brother knew a thing or two. __________________ Talkin' 'bout the issues but keepin' it funky!

01-31-2006, 12:58 PM	#663
Vris Hall Of Famer Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: somewhere where I don't know where I am Posts: 3,251	I used my whole lunch break to catch up on this thread and write this response. Only half kidding. Questions, comments, points, bullets.... Welcome back Craig. I wish I could've bumped this up a few more times with some witty remark. %Thoughts on the Rangers: You say the team is pretty much the same, so they should still be "on pace", if you will, for 86 wins. Yet, they are not. Is that because they are getting older (Washy destroys that thought) or everyone else (especially in their division, but everyone else altogether...in the AL anyway) got better? Can we say that, given the "huge" season the Pale Hose* have put together despite being a last place club just a season ago? Wouldn't that support the theory everyone got worse (no offense, not trying to downplay your season..just using applied logic), including Texas? But they didn't change. #A couple stats would be nice, as our British friend has alluded too. Nothing major, just a couple of numbers to appease those of us who enjoy those types of things. $PM forthcoming, by the end of the week. I need to get back in touch with my roots. !As for that big trade, considering it is June 28th, it's up to you and the direction you want to go. Obviously you are surprised by the quick upward movement of your team to the top of the standings, and obviously staying there would be very nice. You do have some pieces in the lower levels that you are less than anamored (I have no idea how to spell that word) with, so parting with them to bring in another pitcher wouldn't be too bad (I say pitcher because your infield is pretty golden and your outfield is pretty silver...see that, an Olympic analogy just weeks away from the Games!). I say, if you can find that deal that you like, in which you can keep the Fishing Village, by all means go for it. Unless you are looking more towards next year (will The Art of Suck revert back to his old form...is your MI this good...how long can Buehrle carry this team on his back, from a rotation standpoint), which would make sense since you didn't plan on competing this year. I've written too much. Glad to hear from you Craig. __________________ None Blog it.

02-02-2006, 03:34 AM	#667
canadiancreed Hall Of Famer Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 11,660	damn your'e.......winning! WTF?! __________________ PT21 PT22

02-02-2006, 11:24 PM	#671
cknox0723 All Star Starter Join Date: May 2003 Location: NJ Posts: 1,957	back. stop. stop. Yorvit Torrealba and Miguel Olivo have caught all seven hundred four and two-thirds innings in the seventy-eight games we've played so far, and in half a year they have already contributed as much as Miggy and Mike Piazza and the dearly departed Jason LaRue did last season. Olivo's relative success this year is rather inexplicable, though his .269 batting average is right around last year's .265 mark. $5 if you took the over on .250 as Miggy's average last season. It is the five home runs in just 108 at-bats that's been so surprising, and they may tie in either to the fact that he has only batted thirty or so times a month, mostly against left-handers, or perhaps more directly that he's already walked eight times, compared to his hilariously low total of 6 (in 253 AB) last season. His gun has also been golden, as he's thrown out an impressive 12 of 19 potential base stealers, best among all backstops in the bigs who've caught at least 50 innings. Miggy Olivo has had a lot of virtues, but the resurrection of singular-named catcher Yorvit! has been a hell of a lot more fun. The great baseball minds say that most players have their best season at the age of 27, but Torrealba played himself right out of San Francisco last season with some cringe-inducing numbers as the backup to the perpetual .290 hitter AJ Pierzynski. Three for thirty-two in April (an .094 AVG, for those scoring at home), two for twenty-five (.080) in May, three for thirty-one in June (.097). An oh-for-seven, four strikeout line in July (all before the All-Star break), and that was all for Yorvit, banished to triple-A Fresno, never to return even as he put up a .327 avg/.381 OBP/.488 SLG in 168 at-bats. Hell, with an eight for ninety-five composite line with zero extra base hits, you probably would've kept him there, too. But we were desperate for a backstop this offseason, any old ambulatory guy. The free agent market was dry, the trade market even drier because who the hell were we going to trade? So after journeying across the Nile and back looking for a backstop, I see this guy who's fallen behind someone named Todd Jennings on the organizational chart, and he's Miguel Olivo-lite, which is basically like eating carob. So we send them a couple of guys that suck (but they're young, so give 'em the prospect stamp and everyone wins) and we have a new catcher, a man who's a career .255 hitter with a little bit of pop (21 doubles in 204 at-bats in 2005) and a penchant for drawing 14 walks a year (that's his total in the BB column in 2002, 2003, and 2004, all in part-time play). Only blemish are those two little numbers right next to each other, eight and ninety-five, in that order. Seeing them next to each other is either big-time trouble or some sort of 256 spill-over error that would probably cause these fine boards to crash. In Yorvit's case, it was the former. But away from the left coast and the earthquakes and all of that, Yorvit did his usual thing in April and again in May. A little bit of batting average, a couple of home runs, a free pass here and there to put Miggy Olivo to shame. Then this June...it's been like a twisted movie opening, to the delight of the 15,000 Pale Hose faithful that jam into the Cell every home game. Twenty-four hits in 60 at-bats, including six doubles and two long balls. That's a .400 average even, and a .600 slugging percentage. Eight walks (more than Miguel Olivo drew in how many AB's last year?), and his season line reads .297/.344/.446, an OPS that's some sixty points above the league average for all batsmen, and seventh in the league among catchers, behind only such hallowed names like JD Closser (COL, and the best hitting backstop of all) and Kevin Cash (CIN), Jason "Goggles" Phillips and a rejuvenated 87 year old Pudge Rodriguez, who at a .322 average is about 100 points higher than last year's mark. Despite all that, the Cats still ain't got no claws! Future Hall of Famers discovering the fountain of youth again is kind of neat, but give me a man who pulls himself up over the edge of the cliff with only his teeth any day of the week. Yorvit's got his share of warts, throwing out a below-average one-fourth of opposing base stealers, you just know he ain't goin' end up the season hitting .290, and I heard Mike Nannini took exception to Yorvit's judicious use of "caliente" that one day. But we've gotten more production out of him than all of the schmucks we had back there last year at the low, low cost of three hundred fitty grand, and what a name. Yorvit! Last edited by cknox0723; 02-02-2006 at 11:25 PM.

02-03-2006, 12:40 AM	#672
ifspuds Hall Of Famer Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Spokane WA Posts: 2,117	It's been far too long since we've had a good Yorviting! Yorvit! __________________ Jeff Watson Former dynasty writer and online league player, now mostly retired

02-01-2006, 06:42 PM	#665
orin2 Minors (Double A) Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 106	I think making the trade is always a good idea. Of course, that might be why my team is always sub .500

02-02-2006, 03:30 AM	#666
The Funk All Star Reserve Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Watford Posts: 903	Yeah when it come to trades I find it helpful to think of things like this; If the Yankees hadn't made the trade for Ruth, would their legacy have been so historic? And if Boston hadn't traded Ruth, would they not have sucked quite so badly for the next 90 odd years? I hope that puts it all in perspective. __________________ Talkin' 'bout the issues but keepin' it funky!

02-02-2006, 11:22 PM	#670
cknox0723 All Star Starter Join Date: May 2003 Location: NJ Posts: 1,957	hey, there are a lot more posts here than the last time I was here. could get used to that! thanks to one and all, both for the long and short replies, the symbolic and straightforward. however, I am going to ignore them all. sorry. don't take it personally. but you'd much rather read about the Pale Hose, than how much I love you. wouldn't you? but if you want trades...maybe next week. suffice it to say I had a momentary change of heart. besides, just because there may not be a trade until next week doesn't mean we will necessarily proceed with some losses. right? right? anyway, here are some stats or something.

02-03-2006, 10:53 AM	#673
orin2 Minors (Double A) Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 106	"Yorvit steps up to the plate again, taps his cleats with the bat and digs in. Here's the 3-2, payoff pitch. Fastball low and away! Yorvit manages to catch a piece of it. A long fly ball to left center field! Going....going... GONE. Yorvit puts this one into orbit and the Pale Hose win a close game against the hated Indians, 3-2!" I just wanted to use the phrase Yorvit puts this one into orbit.

02-07-2006, 01:13 PM	#675
cknox0723 All Star Starter Join Date: May 2003 Location: NJ Posts: 1,957	eye aye aye i i i For a moment, or a day, at least, all eyes that would be on the Pale Hose (or at least mine) are on first-place Minnesota and third-place Cleveland, because they're duking it out in the frigid north while we're travelling to even more frigid Toronto. It's a win-win situation for us even though we're not playing, because a Cleveland loss puts us a full game ahead of them, and a Minnesota loss puts us into a tie into first place in the division. Right-hander Ben Sheets is on the mound for the first-place club, shooting for double-digit victories, already having won more games than he had in all 35 of his 2006 starts, and Jake "The Fiddler" Dittler, the 24 year old with the sweeping curve and dancing changeup, is on the mound for Cleveland. Sheets gets into trouble right from the start when leadoff man Alex Escobar reaches on a throwing error by second baseman "Jayback" Bartlett, and consecutive singles by #3 hitter "Odysseus" Gerut and cleanup man Ben Broussard put the first run of the game on the board. Shortstop Angel Berroa plates both of those guys with a hard-hit liner down the left field line, and Cleveland still has that 3-0 edge after one full inning is in the books. But innocuous singles by former Pale Hoseman Brad Fullmer and backup catcher Rob Bowen lead to big trouble in the home half of the second, as right fielder Eric Byrnes, an offseason pickup from Oakland, comes through as he has so many times in this still-young season, booming a bleacher blast to right to knot the game up at three. Dittler comes completely unglued in the next frame, giving up a pair of looping, run-scoring singles to weak hitters in second baseman Bartlett and catcher Bowen to give Minnesota a 5-3 lead. The hated Tribe get one back in the next half-inning, though, keyed by Angel Berroa's leadoff triple into the right field corner, and sticking with their moundsman Dittler pays off as he coasts through the next three frames, facing just one batter over the minimum. Ben "Pillows and Sheets" takes a nap after six as well, giving way to hard-throwing right-hander Scott Linebrink. He retires the first batter he faces, another former Pale Hoser in hot cornerman Joe Crede, but pinch-hitter Shaun Larkin scalds a single to right and the pinch-runner for him, starting center fielder Corey Patterson, steals second base. It would have all been for nothing if Alex Escobar's rabbit ball to short had been the third out, but it was only the second, and a successive single over second base off the bat of catcher Josh Bard ties the game up at five. Then outstanding right fielder Jody Gerut comes through as he did so many times last season, whacking a heavy fastball down into the right field corner to bring his backstop all the way around and give Cleveland a 6-5 lead. Late-inning leads haven't meant much for an Indians team that's blown so many in the last year and a half, and when soft-tossing righty Brian Meadows whips up a seventh-inning sandwich of singles and strikeouts, but with the wrong meat, Tribe fans can only curse the fact that they didn't sign a flame-throwing man like Seattle closer Octavio Dotel when they had the chance prior to last season. But former Pale Hose first baseman Brad Fullmer makes me grin by striking out just as he did some 55 times last year, and light-hitting middle infielder Jay Bartlett can't get the clutch Luis Sojo tag, bouncing a harmless grounder over to third base to be gobbled up by Joe F. Crede. Rafael Betancourt, one of the few half-decent relievers on the Tribe club, finishes off the eighth with no harm done, and a Joe Crede double to lead off the top of the ninth leads to an insurance run that Proven Closer (TM) Dave Riske doesn't even really need, as he faces three batters in the bottom of the ninth, striking out Lew Ford for out number one and then retiring Corey Koskie on a bouncer to first that goes 3 to 6 and back to 3 to eliminate both speedy shortstop Alex Cintron, who had led off the inning by slashing a single to right, and Koskie himself. The rally-killer lives up to its name in so many ways, snuffing out the Twins' status as a first-place club and moving the red-hot Tribe, winners of five in a row, just a half-game out of first, creating a logjam that had previously only been seen in the National League's Eastern and Western divisions. In the former, Florida and Atlanta have reigned supreme much of the season, but the Mets are finally starting to justify much of the hype thrown at their high-priced club, and the three clubs are within half a game of each other. And in the latter, Colorado's oft-mentioned early season pitching success has slowed a bit, as they have seen much of the good work by journeymen starting pitchers Aaron Cook (6-4, 2.64; 6-10, 4.67 last year) and Brian Anderson (8-3, 2.79 after an 11-6, 4.00 season) negated by a bullpen that has had trouble getting to Proven Closer (TM) Billy Wagner and has seen the 35 year old show his age anyway (38 saves, 1.32 ERA in 2006; 16 saves but a 5.40 ERA this year, and 10 HR allowed in 42 IP). This has opened the door for all of the mediocre California clubs in the division, which have also benefited from strong pitching. To wit, one of them, Los Angeles, just defeated the NL Central-leading Cubs, one to nil, in one of those games where the line score says it all: Code: TEAM 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 R H E CHC 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 4 0 LA 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 No joke. Ace North Sider Kerry Wood, an 18-game winner last season, made just his eighth start of the season in this one after a torn tricep in early April shut him down for much of May and early June. And the rust was still showing, as he plunked leadoff man Mike Cameron on the game's third pitch. Cameron stole second and a slightly frazzled Wood walked hacktastic shortstop Cristian Guzman. First baseman Shawn Green, not quite the powerful hitter he was in the late 90's, but still carrying that sterling reputation, was pitched to carefully and drew a free pass to load the bases. Cleanup man and left fielder Cliff Floyd walked to force in a run and the little white pill was poised to bleed blue runs. But right fielder Gabe "Shanya Punim/The Good Face" Kapler flew into a 7-5 double play (so says the game log) and third baseman Antonio Perez was no match for the high-nineties flames. Inning over... one run, no hits, no errors. Score: Los Angeles 1, Chicago (N) 0. It could have been 1-0 on the flip side, because third baseman Rob Mackowiak had led off the ballgame with a double into the right field corner, and North Side second sacker Brendan Harris had drawn a walk. But then the Cubs hit the same speed bumps they have hit most of this season -- center fielder Andruw Jones, whose reputation perhaps supercedes his status as #3 hitter, struck out swinging, left fielder Jason Bay (.241) bounced to short, and catcher Dave Ross (.250) did the same. Jones' .238 batting average is not so far off from his .241 mark in 2006, and the same for Ross, who is still a productive backstop considering his 20 HR power (and he has even seen a hike in his walk rate this year, having drawn 35 already after 43 BB last season). But Jay Bay hit a monster .360 last season in leading the North Siders to a league-best 97 wins and eventual league championship. You expect a little decline; that is why the Cubs shelled out the big bucks for former Minnesota southpaw Barry Zito this offseason. Their rotation is unbeatable when fully healthy, and as their near league-leading runs allowed total suggests, even when they are dealing with a few injuries like the one Wood suffered, they are still pretty damned good. But 34 year old league-average shortstop is the team's leading hitter at .274, and even though the club has as much power as a utility company, they have still struggled to score runs. Such was the case in this ballgame, as their best chance against Dodger right-hander Jeff Weaver was in the first frame, and they came up empty. They moved a runner past first base just twice the rest of the way; in the fifth, 16 HR man Rob Mackowiak struck out to leave Alex Gonzalez at second after he had walked and moved up on his pitcher's sacrifice, and in the ninth, Chad Bradford relieved Weaver after he ran out of gas and allowed two-out singles to catcher Ross and first baseman Richie Sexson, and he struck out pinch-hitter Todd Walker on four pitches to end it. The Dodgers put exactly two men on base after the first, both on lonely walks. It didn't matter. Sure, the Cubs are a million games up in the moribund NL Central and they started backups at first, second, and right field in this game, but what a blow to the ego to watch your pitcher throw a no-hitter...in a loss. But how wonderful and wacky it is to a start a day looking straight ahead and straight ahead only and end up doing an about-face because there's something more interesting on the other side of the river. It just proves that if your eyes are solely focused on one thing, you're going to end up missing out on something else.

02-07-2006, 01:17 PM	#676
ifspuds Hall Of Famer Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Spokane WA Posts: 2,117	A no-hitter loss. I love it! And to my boys in Blue. I always expect the Dodgers to be on the losing end of those things, whether in the Palehoseverse or the real world. __________________ Jeff Watson Former dynasty writer and online league player, now mostly retired

02-07-2006, 10:01 PM	#677
Vris Hall Of Famer Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: somewhere where I don't know where I am Posts: 3,251	That post has a lot of words. Colorful even. This is why I love to see this thread bumped. __________________ None Blog it.

02-08-2006, 09:46 PM	#679
cknox0723 All Star Starter Join Date: May 2003 Location: NJ Posts: 1,957	the catbird seat (pt. one) Matt DeSalvo, a skinny 26 year old right-hander with a decent changeup and a fastball that leaves you wanting, will make his second major league start for everyone's favorite Empire at some point over the next three days, while we are playing around in the Great White North. The Yanks are home against Texas, those rats. DeSalvo is just filling in while Kelvim Escobar spends some quality time on the DL, nursing the same right shoulder that cut his 2006 season short after just 13 starts and prevented the 2004 and 2005 All-Star from raking in the really big bucks. (Four years, nearly $20 million ain't bad, but this guy went 16-9 and 17-9 in the last two seasons he was healthy, over in Anaheim) DeSalvo's first start was a real gem, seven-and-a-third innings, three hits and no runs, seven strikeouts. (Four walks, but who's counting?) Granted, it was against an o-ffensive o-ffense in Baltimore, but his debut along with the handful of others that've caught my eye over the course of this season makes me wonder if I accidentally jacked up the Moonlight Graham setting or somethin'. I might also add that the Empire, in their never-ending wanderlust, has submitted a waiver claim to the league for 28 year old southpaw Ryan Snare, a pitcher with a 13-19, 4.61 career line who is currently toiling in AAA. Snare's success, both at the major and minor league levels, has been very modest, mostly because his fastball ain't that fast, his curve ain't that sharp, and his control is good except when it's not. But he is typical waiver fodder, the kind of guys that are claimed in the real MLB universe, so I am glad to see the OOTP waiver system work right in that regard. It validates the painstaking efforts I take to prevent waiver wire mayhem, manually moving players off waivers that should never have been there in the first place. But I like the general idea of waivers, the notion that a pitcher like LHP R. Snare might get an opportunity somewhere that he'd otherwise never have, and pitch lights-out for a time like he did in May of '05, going 4-0 that month with Oakland and winning Pitcher of the Month. So on waivers will stay, and maybe at some point I will have the settings in this universe just right so that interchangeable, replaceable guys like Snare are the only ones on the waiver wire 99% of the time. Snare is currently with the Toronto organization (at least for the next five minutes), so there is your transition back to the Pale Hose if you like things neat & clean. I am not so sure our first game of this three-gamer will be so neat and clean, though, even with Jon Garland (8-5, 3.79) on the mound. Even though our guy hasn't lost since being on the short end of a 1-0 game against Boston on May 19th, and even though we're not facing Toronto's own Mark Buehrle in right-hander Roy Halladay, I have my doubts. Maybe it's their moundsman's 3.06 ERA, or maybe it's just that I look at right-hander Jason Davis and his 7-16 record last season, his improvement this season, and see Jon Garland. Once upon a time you might have laughed at that, but Garland's had the last laugh for much of this year, so who's laughing now? Perhaps, though, I really have all these doubts because of all the positive indicators that say that our opponent is a hell of a lot better than 34-41: 9th in home runs, 12th in walks, 9th in runs scored despite the fourth-lowest team batting average in the league at .247. Major league leaders in walk prevention, so despite being 23rd in opponents' average and 18th in HR allowed, they're 15th, decidedly in the middle of the pack, in runs allowed. They have the (aging) monster Magglio Ordonez wishes he was -- 1B Carlos Delgado, second in the AL in big flies with 21, and they have the younger semistar in his prime years that we...um...don't? in centerfielder Vernon Wells (.305/.343/.487 and well on his way to a third consecutive All-Star game). But we sure as hell have got something, whatever it may be, something that's put us on top of the Central standings with a 42-36 won-loss record. However, it ain't on display in the first inning, 'cause Ramon Vazquez, Adam Kennedy, and Magglio Ordonez go down in order 1-2-3 on a grounder to short, a liner to third, and a bouncer to second, and then my boy Garland walks Toronto leadoff man Orlando Hudson on four straight pitches. There is why I had some doubts about this one. But then some of that moxie -- no, some of that defense -- comes to the rescue. Hudson takes off for second right away, but Yorvit Torrealba nails him with a laser right on down there. That pressure eviscerated, Laynce Nix is a quick out on a bouncer to first...but then up steps Delgado, the hulking figure waving a huge piece of lumber. He smashes the first pitch he likes, hard on the ground to the right side...but, oh, that defense. Adam "Gumby" Kennedy makes a spectacular diving stop, pegs it over to Frank Catalanotto at first and the crisis, as it were, is averted. And the Pale Hose, this collection of misfits and castoffs, take things over. Second inning singles by first baseman Catalanotto and rookie left fielder Clinton King don't lead to any runs, but it's a sign of the third-inning barrage that is to come. With the score still zero-zero and one out after Jay Davis fanned his counterpart Garland, leadoff man Ramon Vazquez digs in. And as he has so many, many times this year, "Pokey" takes a little poke at a pitch that just missed and sends it flying into the outfield, giving him time to tear around first base and cruise into second for another extra-base hit. Two batters later, Magglio Ordonez comes through in the most half-assed way possible, with a checked-swing single to left field, but it gets us that run and leads to more, thanks to the virtues of Frank Catalanotto and Eric Munson (whose name is fun to scream aloud - MUNSON!). The only trouble is that Garland gives it all back. It starts with an innocuous single by eighth-place hitter Dave Berg, and then a walk to the pitcher. Leadoff man Orlando "Darkwing" Hudson singles to right, Garland starts walking people, and I have eerie flashbacks to outings from so many Junes prior. .200 hitting fifth hitter Alex Rios continues a terrible trend by making yet another out to stop the bleeding at two, but the only names I'm screaming alound now are not actual names, but expletives. When the top of the Toronto order gets back up in the fifth inning, they...make two quick outs. Hudson grounds to first, LF Laynce Nix hits a comebacker. But it's only two. Not good enough. The titan Delgado follows with a sharp single to center to start the mother of all two-out rallies. Cleanup man Mike Restovich clobbers one down into the left field corner to plate one, centerfielder Rios ignores his terrible season for two seconds to smack a single to left and make it 4-2, home team. Garland hands out a walk to 3B Eric Hinske and then the underrated backstop Guillermo Quiroz delivers the big blow, a screaming two-run double off the left-center field wall or baggy or whatever the hell is out there. 6-2, other guys. I don't see any point in pitching around the eighth place hitter at this point, so I telepathically tell Garland to pitch to Dave Berg and he does just that, setting him down on el strikos. Obviously, it's no consolation. But got to play out the string, right? And so Eric Munson starts the sixth inning by looking at a smattering of pitches, most of which are your garden-variety crappy, which is to say off the plate. A walk. That'll do just fine for the OBP, but ain't gonna get us no four run comeback.

02-08-2006, 09:52 PM	#680
cknox0723 All Star Starter Join Date: May 2003 Location: NJ Posts: 1,957	the catbird seat (pt. two) So Munson trots down to first after the old BB and centerfielder Brian Anderson assumes the position. And smacks a solid single to left field, one that would have been quite alliterative had left and field actually been spelled sleft and sfield. We've got two baserunners. Hooray, the go-ahead run is only about five batters away at this point. But then rookie LF Clinton King draws a...wait for it...a walk! to load the bases for the mighty catcher Yorvit!. Just for the hell of it, I tell all-or-nothing backup Russ Branyan to grab a bat and step into the on-deck circle in lieu of Garland. Just for kicks. You know, had Yorvit put one into orbit at this point, the game would have been tied. Ain't that funny? Instead...he slashed a line drive over second baseman Hudson and into the outfield. Munson ambled home, the lithe young outfielder Anderson tore around third and bolted home as Alex Rios cocked the right arm and fired...BAM, bullseye, right into the glove of Guillermo Quiroz. But too late to nail Anderson. 6-4. Yorvit, Yorvit, Yorvit!, you are my hero. Still, we're down a pair and up a creek if we can't keep on bringin' those runs around. Russ Branyan steps in, falls in a two ball, two strike pit like you might expect a .111 hitter to do...but then Jay Davis flings a wild one. It rolls to the backstop, Clint King rolls home, Torrealba to third. It's 6-5. Branyan lets another misfire go by and trots down to first, the third recipient of a Jason Davis walk today, quite unlikely for a man who had walked just 19 men in his first 85 frames. Davis exits, stage Mountie. Erstwhile starter and card-carrying journeyman right-hander Kip Wells comes on to pitch to dynamic shortstop Ramon Vazquez. "Pokey" takes a strike, bides his time, cradles the bat lovingly as though it were not a piece of lumber, but an actual breathing being, capable of both emotion and thought, tenderness and expression... He sees a fastball, he whips the lumber forward. "**!" is the cry from the pitcher Wells as the little white sphere careens off his leg, but it's drowned in the crowd noise, and probably my cry of, "Holy !" The ball deflects over towards shortstop, but Dave Berg has no play. It's six-six thanks to a play-by-play sequence I'd never seen before. Good old Kippers is all champagne and caviar, say his trainers after a long consultation, just a little bruise so rub some dirt on it and all will be well. Besides, the adrenaline's kicked in, and these could be the best innings he'll give you in five years. Sure enough, with the go-ahead run on second, Adam Kennedy pops out to shallow right-center and then Magglio Ordonez does just the same. But with two outs and two men still on, Frank Catlanotto waltzes towards the box, and no adrenaline can match the bo-dacious wave that "Tabby" is riding right now. "One and one to Catalanotto, the former Blue Jay who's two for four today. Wells to the set, Branyan a few steps off second and Vazquez making Chubby Checker proud about eight feet from the first base bag. Quiroz pounds the mitt, sets up and here it comes...breaking ball, hanger, Catalanotto swings and now it's hanging in the air again, on a long ride to right field! Rios going back and that ball is...off the top of the wall and now caroming towards the infield. Catalanotto eases into second as Rios relays it in, Branyan has scored easily and Ramon Vazquez comes chugging home unimpeded. It's a two-run double to right for Frank Catalanotto to cap off a six-run sixth for the Pale Hose, who've coming storming back from a 6-2 deficit to take an eight to six lead." Catalanotto, after a ninth-inning fielder's choice puts him at three-for-five in this game, is seventeen for his last thirty-three, which is just silly. I could give you the glorious details of how we protected that eight-six lead, but all you really need to know is that the sphere was passed from Akinori Otsuka to Mike Gallo without a hitch, and then when the southpaw ran out of steam in the ninth, Joe Roa came on in and "The Pied Piper" just lulled 'em to sleep to get the save. Equally exciting is the report that Cleveland took down Minnesota again, 11 to 5 with a 6-run seventh, and we are in first effing place, if you can believe it. That's as worthy of a as anything I've ever heard of. CHW 8 TOR 7 WP: J. Garland (9-5) - 5 IP, 7 H, 6 R, 5 BB, 4 K LP: J. Davis (6-5) - 5 IP, 8 H, 7 R, 3 BB, 4 K S: J. Roa** (4) Wow.