Notes From A Title Bout Universe

[Beno999]

I would still love to see a Morales vs Marquez fight!

[bear]

Originally Posted by Beno999

I would still love to see a Morales vs Marquez fight!

Would have been nice a couple of years ago. Morales is running on gas fumes. He's been in too many wars and doesn't have much left in his tank, other than heart.

[Jersey-Jim]

Originally Posted by bear

Would have been nice a couple of years ago. Morales is running on gas fumes. He's been in too many wars and doesn't have much left in his tank, other than heart.

I think Beno means - in this particular universe. Morales has a tank full of premium still and turned out the lights on Manny Pacquiao a few months back.

I don't have him scheduled for "post-prime" until the next gaming year!

[Jersey-Jim]

Originally Posted by Beno999

I would still love to see a Morales vs Marquez fight!

I want to see that one, too. I believe if I focus really hard... the universe will comply and one of the promoters will suddenly say, "Marquez lost on a cut! He's still marketable enough to take on Morales."

I was thinking about having Morales make the leap to fight Casamayor at Lightweight, but Morales just isn't the same fighter at that weight. I guess he could drop back down... but the match with Marquez is more appealing all the way around.

[Jersey-Jim]

The string of upsets in "Gimme Fights" continued tonight when undefeated Ulisis Solis, the Jr. Flyweight King lost his crown via unanimous decision to unheralded - Freddie Beleno of Venezuela.

Beleno attacked freely throughout and his bursts of aggression seemed to surprise the previously undefeated Solis. In the 15th round, Beleno dropped Solis 3 times to secure a unanimous decision and become the new - Jr. Flyweight Champion of the World!

Gotta love the unexpected in TBCB!

[Beno999]

Definitely know what you mean by that one Jim, Morales is a personal favourite of mine and in my own current universe he never made the jump to Lightweight. Whereas my lightweight division is probably one of the deepest ever with the likes of Casamayor, Mosley (i suddenly let him lose weight effectively again) Pacquiao, Marquez, Barrera, Juan Diaz, Julio Diaz etc. but i left Morales out to pursue the lower weight divisions.

[Jersey-Jim]

Tony Galento vs. Baby Joe Mesi

Welcome to an undisclosed location! Hello and welcome! This is Jersey… I mean, this in Diamond Jim broadcasting via pirate radio signal bringing you the totally unsanctioned Heavyweight bout between Two-Ton Tony Galento and New York’s Baby Joe Mesi.

The purse for tonight is $20,000 – winner take all.

If you’re receiving this signal, you’ve probably got more skeletons in your closet than we do… so sit back (or sit up if you’ve been drinking too much) and enjoy Galento-Mesi absolutely live.

We’ll be back in a moment with more…

[Jersey-Jim]

Hello fans and welcome to New Jersey's outlaw boxing circuit. Tonight’s bout is for your eyes only and is being brought to you by the Campisy Crime family. This is Diamond Jim, your host.

Two-Ton Tony, the celebrated, hard drinking, heavy eating slugger from the Oranges is here tonight with one objective and one objective only. That’s to put “The Baby” to bed for ten seconds or longer. We ask you to politely and courteously observe the 10 drink minimum you agreed to at the door or to pay double in cash (whichever comes first). Credit card payments will discreetly show “Children’s Charities of North Jersey” on credit card statements.

Tonight’s main event is sponsored by private donors who coincidentally have access to the State of New Jersey’s “petty cash” funds.

Any similarities between this and fraudulent activity is purely coincidental. All rights reserved.

And yes, there in the background is Tony Galento stepping out of the Yellow-Cab Taxi. Baby Joe Mesi’s gotta be somewhere nearby. We’ll be back in just a few…

[Jersey-Jim]

Hello again. This is Diamond Jim reporting live from North Jersey bring you the absolute best in unsanctioned, boxing. Tonight’s bout will be decided by three unofficial judges at ringside.

Those of us supporting “The Unauthorized Boxing Network” are here to bring boxing back to the people. The ten drink minimum also applies to the “outlaw press” and writers who are hear to lend their support to the people’s cause of ending PPV boxing and bringing boxing back to free TV in universes all across the galaxy (if such things exist).

With that in mind, we will bring you the blow by blow as accurately as possible as befitting a writer who’s had about 6 too many.

Unlike the last “Tony Galento event,” tonight’s fight is being held totally secure and the stress of posting bond at 3:27 in the morning is no longer a concern to those involved. We’ll be back with more, right after this….

[Jersey-Jim]

The fighters are in the ring. That’s a good thing. Unlike the observers of tonight’s festivities, they are not obligated to observe the 10 drink minimum. The five drink minimum is in effect for tonight’s bout as is the standing 8 count.

We’re not allow to mention the referee by name, as he’s wearing the traditional eye covering party mask (as is everyone else in attendance besides the fighters). But take my word for it, he’s a good one. Zab Judah hates his guts, but he’s still good nonetheless.

The fighters are now receiving their last minute instructions, so we’ll be back in just a few shakes of a lamb’s tail to get this bout underway.

[Jersey-Jim]

Round 1:
Galento and Mesi look a little blurry. I think we have a trouble with the video feed. What? I’m not looking through the video feed?

Ouch! Mesi smacks Galento with a quick left hook to the head! Mesi and Galento are more apt to duck into punches than away from them – so this should be good while it lasts! Oh! Galento with a hard left hook to Mesi’s head. Galento with a hard left-right to the head! Mesi staggers! Galento drags the laces of his glove across Mesi’s face and the Jay… the referee stops the action to admonish Galento!

Galento shrugs innocently and the action continues.

Tony lands a big left hook to the chin that staggers Mesi badly!!

Galento with a right uppercut to the groin! Oh, that hurts. The referee stops the action to admonish Galento again… and there’s the bell!

[Jersey-Jim]

Round 2:
Galento walks into a sweeping left hook as round two is underway and his legs do a little “jiggle!” Galento lands a wild overhand right! It lands FLUSH! Mesi staggers. Do you see his right eye? It’s swelling up like a balloon! Galento must have landed a little bit of thumb with that shot for Mesi’s eye to be swelling like that? Or am I wrong?

Galento bulls Mesi into the ropes and lands a brutal combination to the body! Mesi scores with a sharp combination to the head! Galento answers with clubbing hooks to the body at the bell!

[Jersey-Jim]

If you’re just joining us, welcome boxing fans to boxing – New Jersey style. Jersey is one of the few places upon the planet that is actually like a universe within a universe – playing history to many of histories greatest athletes, actors, writers, musicians and gangsters. It’s the Garden State where lots of things get buried, for better – or worse!

[Jersey-Jim]

Round 3:
Galento and Mesi trade hooks to the chin! They fall into the clinch. Mesi dig a hook into Galento’s groin! Haha! Gotta love Mesi’s fighting spirit! They’re stopping the fight and warning Mesi. Galento touches gloves with Baby Joe. Galento and Mesi clinch. Oh! Tony just pulled Joe’s head down and smashed him with a flagrant rabbit punch behind the head! The referee’s admonishing Galento again. Alright, we’re back to the action. Galento explodes a two-fisted combination off Mesi’s midsection. Mesi grimaces after absorbing those shots.

Speaking of shots, the nice young woman with the Jello shots is standing right next to me. I’ll be back in the 3rd unless someone gets knocked out.

[Jersey-Jim]

Round 4
In case you’ve just joined us – Tony Galento just walked into a right upper-cut that almost tore his head from his shoulders! I’m not sure what round this is, but Galento’s staggering all over the ring like a drunk in a fire drill! Galento staggers back against the turnbuckle! Mesi unloading punch after punch into Galento!! The only thing missing from this scene is shell-casings dropping all over the canvas! Galento looks out of it! Even moreso than when the fight began!!

Mesi with a big right uppercut!! Blood GUSHES from a cut over Galento’s right eye! Mesi buries a fusillade of hooks into Galento’s body! This one’s just about over!! And there’s the bell!

[Jersey-Jim]

Hello friends,

This is Jer... I mean, Diamond Jim. It seems that I passed out and missed the 5th round until someone was kind enough to pour a pail of water over my slumbering form. I seemed to have passed out and missed the 5th round. Both fighters, they tell me, stood toe-to-toe trading bombs evenly until a double left hook from Mesi with 12 seconds left in the round had Galento looking like he was looking for a nice soft spot on the canvas to rest upon.

The bell ended the round before Tony “graced the floor” with his rather 252 pound presence!

[Jersey-Jim]

Round 6
I’m back and feeling like someone’s hookin’ pretty effectively off the jab. Galento and Mesi trade thunder in ring center!! They’re just teeing off – toe-to-toe with monstrous hooks to the head and body! Galento drives his head into Mesi’s chin and land a right that looks a little low. He’s been effective with that combination all night. Mesi doubles up with the right to the body. Mesi with a right to the head. Galento’s cut is reopened! Blood’s squirting all over Mesi and the canvas!!

Galento looks bad out there, folks. Like a butchered carcass in trunks, bad!

I think the bell just rung. Or should I say, “wrung.” My glass is empty? Whiskey? Someone! Anyone! I got cash!

[Jersey-Jim]

Round 7
Galento and Mesi punish each other with hooks to the head! Man, how I wish I were back in Tijuana! I’d be firing my 1934 Italian Beretta in right now! Galento and Mesi collide heads. Both are being warned by Nady… I mean… the referee is warning both men. What the hell is he thinking? Galento doubles Mesi over with a two-fisted flurry to Mesi’s body!

There’s the bell. We’ll be back with more alcohol and tonight’s celebration of life in just a moment.

[Jersey-Jim]

Round 8
Hello friends. We’re still in New Jersey and Tony Galento just landed a HUGE hook that landed FLUSH on Mesi’s temple a few moments ago and Mesi seems to be propped up in the corner as Galento unloads punch after punch after punch into a seemingly catatonic Joe Mesi who’s propped up against the turnbuckle!! Galento’s cut again, too. Blood, guts and chunks are spraying all over the floor. The crowd’s as drunk as hell and I apologize if I missed any rounds. I’m just happy to be conscious and am glad and grateful for many things tonight. First… I’m happy that… I just want to thank those who supported me… throughout the years…

I want to thank those who didn’t… and for those who did.

There’s the bell. I think my 3rd wife was my all-time favorite.

She wasn’t so much a gold digger… she was just bad with money.

[Jersey-Jim]

Round 9
Boxing can be a lot like life. You have a lot of fighters trying to get the maximum results with minimum roadwork.

This is Diamond Jim, not to be confused with Jersey-Jim, bringing you the absolute best of “Outlaw Boxing Coverage” with Tony Galento vs. Joe Mesi.

When I was a 20 years old, I read this great piece of advice I’m about to reiterate for all you well-meaning drunks out there. Three invaluable nuggets of gold you can count on to bring you unbelievable riches throughout your life, both now and it the day to….

Tony just blasted Mesi with a beautiful combo to the head and body!! Mesi looks totally gassed out there! There’s clinching. Here comes N… the ref to break them up.

But like I was saying, here’s two… or three pieces of advice.

1. Never play cards with a man named “Doc.”
2. Never lay with a woman who has more problems than you
3. Never…..

I can’t remember what the last one was. !Q@%#Q#Q!