Nomar Saves Two Women - Page 3

UngratefulDead · 10-12-2005, 06:37 PM

My contribution: If Derek Jeter were there he would have saved the two women so spectacularly that everyone would have forgotten about the 800 he let drown over the course of the season.

jaxmagicman · 10-12-2005, 06:40 PM

If Terrance Long was there he would have stood frozen on the pier.

Jestor · 10-12-2005, 06:45 PM

If Joe Crede was there, he would have hesitated, then dropped both women in the water even when he could have saved them.

jaxmagicman · 10-12-2005, 06:51 PM

If LaTroy Hawkins was there, he would have blown the save.

UngratefulDead · 10-12-2005, 07:00 PM

If Carl Everett were there then there wasn't any damn women in the first place.

Skipaway · 10-12-2005, 07:03 PM

If some dead former MLB player were there, the women could use the body as floating device.

Faroo6 · 10-12-2005, 07:05 PM

If OJ were there......wait.....they would have to be in a water hazard on a golf course.

If Chad Pennington were there he would have thrown them a lifesaver, but it wouldn't have made it to the water.

Faroo6 · 10-12-2005, 08:21 PM

Omar Minaya would have seen if he could trade the two for an old washed up woman.

AnotherAlias · 10-12-2005, 09:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by andymac

If ctorg were there he would continuously swim around in the water until they finally put him in charge of the coast guard since he is always around.

If AA were there, he would dress in disguise, save the women, and then refuse to admit that he had anything to do with it.

Waffle!!!

Sublimity · 10-12-2005, 09:28 PM

If the San Diego Padres were there, they'd barely be able to keep their heads above the water line.

CMH · 10-12-2005, 09:35 PM

If Larry Brown were there he would have saved one woman and then walked away before finishing the job.

If Eric Crouch were there he would have just walked away.

If Gary Sheffield were there he would have saved both women and when asked for comment would have claimed that he did not know he was saving anyone.

If Randy Moss were there he would have jumped into the water but then decided he didn't want to work too hard.

If Terrell Owens were there he would have saved both women and then attempt to mimic their actions once the tv cameras arrived.

If Ken Macha were there he would have turned down the offer to save them.

Ok, I'm done now. I like this thread.

Sublimity · 10-12-2005, 09:55 PM

If Roy Oswalt were there, he'd save the two women, do a tremendous job of it, have done it in the past, and only about 18 die-hard rescue enthusiasts would notice

Faroo6 · 10-12-2005, 10:03 PM

If Mo Vaughn were there he could just do a cannonball and empty the harbor.

Sublimity · 10-13-2005, 08:58 AM

Man, I put this in the OT forum first...

If Doug Eddings were there, he would've made a move as if to save the women, waited until they drowned, then said they were safe.

Raderick · 10-13-2005, 09:04 AM

If Michael Jordan were there, he would had bet which one he would save first, and then hand the other one a Cuban cigar.

billethius · 10-13-2005, 10:09 AM

If Adrain Beltre were there, he'd have the potential to save both of them for several minutes before finally saving one of them in spectacular fashion. Then he'd forget how he did it and the second would drown.

Sublimity · 10-13-2005, 10:12 AM

If Braden Looper were there, they'd both drown. How could anyone expect him to save anything?

andjbock · 10-14-2005, 03:58 PM

Come on guys, O Cabrera would've saved three instead
of two and done it for less and been great in the
clubhouse afterward.

Ortiz would have waited until the last minute and
there were 5 more girls in the water and then saved
them all

ARod would've done an incredible job diving in,
getting the girls, pulling them almost all the way to
the shore... and then would've failed miserably at the
end. The cold water would've done a number on his
circulation/lips.

Renteria definitely would have saved them, because it
was a life or death situation. If he'd just gone in to
get some kid's frisbee or something mundane, he
probably would have jumped into the water and landed
on a Duckboat, sinking it and killing dozens.

Mueller's done this 10 times but you never heard a
peep about it.

Damon would have walked on the water until he got to
them, then thrown them halfway back to the dock.

Buck Showalter jumped in, grabbed the two girls, and
was about ten feet from shore when Steinbrenner jumped
into the water, pulled him away, and let Torre finish
the rescue.

If someone fell in the Harbor while Timlin was there,
he would save them. Anyone in the Harbor before he
arrived would drown.

Manny would wonder what all the fuss was about
followed by a double finger point salute to the girls.

Derek Lowe would have bought the girls drinks all
night and then fallen in with them.

Myers would need to team up with Bradford since only
one of the girls was left-handed.

Bronson would have saved the girls, then brought them
back to their dorm to party.

Abe Alvarez wouldn't have seen them.

If Bellhorn tried to dive in he would have missed the
Harbor.

Millar would have shown up, sat on a park bench,
talked to the cameras, came up with another slogan and
contributed absolutely nothing, all while saying he's
not the best athlete but brings other things to the
table besides being able to swim, and rescue people.

Grady would have left them out there too long.

Applecorey · 10-14-2005, 08:22 PM

Nomar jumps in to save the women, but there is no sign of nomar after the save.....he seemed to have drowned.

Bystander to Victor : Aren't you worried about Nomar?

Victor: Nope....he always pops up.........

TonyJ · 10-14-2005, 08:48 PM

If DaED was there he would have saved the women and then wrote a story about it here including a bit about how Jesus guided his hands in saving them.

10-12-2005, 06:40 PM	#42
jaxmagicman Hall Of Famer Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Retired defloration-maker living in Myrtle Beach, SC Posts: 7,801	If Terrance Long was there he would have stood frozen on the pier. __________________ See ID Major League Baseball trademarks and copyrights are used with permission of MLB Advanced Media, L.P. Minor League Baseball trademarks and copyrights are used with the permission of Minor League Baseball. All rights reserved.

10-12-2005, 06:51 PM	#44
jaxmagicman Hall Of Famer Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Retired defloration-maker living in Myrtle Beach, SC Posts: 7,801	If LaTroy Hawkins was there, he would have blown the save. __________________ See ID Major League Baseball trademarks and copyrights are used with permission of MLB Advanced Media, L.P. Minor League Baseball trademarks and copyrights are used with the permission of Minor League Baseball. All rights reserved.

10-12-2005, 07:03 PM	#46
Skipaway Hall Of Famer Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Where you live Posts: 11,017	If some dead former MLB player were there, the women could use the body as floating device. __________________ Jonathan Haidt: Moral reasoning is really just a servant masquerading as a high priest.

10-13-2005, 09:04 AM	#55
Raderick Hall Of Famer Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: San Diego, California Posts: 2,737	If Michael Jordan were there, he would had bet which one he would save first, and then hand the other one a Cuban cigar. __________________

10-14-2005, 08:22 PM	#59
Applecorey Major Leagues Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: New Hampshire Posts: 307	Nomar jumps in to save the women, but there is no sign of nomar after the save.....he seemed to have drowned. Bystander to Victor : Aren't you worried about Nomar? Victor: Nope....he always pops up......... __________________ www.boardgamegeek.com

10-12-2005, 06:37 PM	#41
UngratefulDead Banned Join Date: May 2004 Location: Bay Area Posts: 3,415	My contribution: If Derek Jeter were there he would have saved the two women so spectacularly that everyone would have forgotten about the 800 he let drown over the course of the season.

10-12-2005, 07:00 PM	#45
UngratefulDead Banned Join Date: May 2004 Location: Bay Area Posts: 3,415	If Carl Everett were there then there wasn't any damn women in the first place.

10-12-2005, 09:28 PM	#50
Sublimity Hall Of Famer Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: This thread. Posts: 3,199	If the San Diego Padres were there, they'd barely be able to keep their heads above the water line.

10-12-2005, 09:35 PM	#51
CMH Hall Of Famer Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 5,057	If Larry Brown were there he would have saved one woman and then walked away before finishing the job. If Eric Crouch were there he would have just walked away. If Gary Sheffield were there he would have saved both women and when asked for comment would have claimed that he did not know he was saving anyone. If Randy Moss were there he would have jumped into the water but then decided he didn't want to work too hard. If Terrell Owens were there he would have saved both women and then attempt to mimic their actions once the tv cameras arrived. If Ken Macha were there he would have turned down the offer to save them. Ok, I'm done now. I like this thread.

10-12-2005, 09:55 PM	#52
Sublimity Hall Of Famer Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: This thread. Posts: 3,199	If Roy Oswalt were there, he'd save the two women, do a tremendous job of it, have done it in the past, and only about 18 die-hard rescue enthusiasts would notice

10-13-2005, 08:58 AM	#54
Sublimity Hall Of Famer Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: This thread. Posts: 3,199	Man, I put this in the OT forum first... If Doug Eddings were there, he would've made a move as if to save the women, waited until they drowned, then said they were safe.

10-13-2005, 10:09 AM	#56
billethius All Star Reserve Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 822	If Adrain Beltre were there, he'd have the potential to save both of them for several minutes before finally saving one of them in spectacular fashion. Then he'd forget how he did it and the second would drown.

10-13-2005, 10:12 AM	#57
Sublimity Hall Of Famer Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: This thread. Posts: 3,199	If Braden Looper were there, they'd both drown. How could anyone expect him to save anything?

10-14-2005, 03:58 PM	#58
andjbock Hall Of Famer Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Somerville, MA, USA Bats: Right Throws: Left Posts: 3,640	Come on guys, O Cabrera would've saved three instead of two and done it for less and been great in the clubhouse afterward. Ortiz would have waited until the last minute and there were 5 more girls in the water and then saved them all ARod would've done an incredible job diving in, getting the girls, pulling them almost all the way to the shore... and then would've failed miserably at the end. The cold water would've done a number on his circulation/lips. Renteria definitely would have saved them, because it was a life or death situation. If he'd just gone in to get some kid's frisbee or something mundane, he probably would have jumped into the water and landed on a Duckboat, sinking it and killing dozens. Mueller's done this 10 times but you never heard a peep about it. Damon would have walked on the water until he got to them, then thrown them halfway back to the dock. Buck Showalter jumped in, grabbed the two girls, and was about ten feet from shore when Steinbrenner jumped into the water, pulled him away, and let Torre finish the rescue. If someone fell in the Harbor while Timlin was there, he would save them. Anyone in the Harbor before he arrived would drown. Manny would wonder what all the fuss was about followed by a double finger point salute to the girls. Derek Lowe would have bought the girls drinks all night and then fallen in with them. Myers would need to team up with Bradford since only one of the girls was left-handed. Bronson would have saved the girls, then brought them back to their dorm to party. Abe Alvarez wouldn't have seen them. If Bellhorn tried to dive in he would have missed the Harbor. Millar would have shown up, sat on a park bench, talked to the cameras, came up with another slogan and contributed absolutely nothing, all while saying he's not the best athlete but brings other things to the table besides being able to swim, and rescue people. Grady would have left them out there too long.

10-14-2005, 08:48 PM	#60
TonyJ Hall Of Famer Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Gassin' Kurds Posts: 2,019	If DaED was there he would have saved the women and then wrote a story about it here including a bit about how Jesus guided his hands in saving them. __________________ My Podcasts: Talk Democratic Dysfunction Name Two Bands with Andy and Andy