Yet Another OOTP6 Dynasty: The Pale Hose

[cknox0723]

Originally Posted by Carlton

Damn!!

How many different ways are you gonna find to lose

You think this is bad...just wait 'til we start playing the Yankees again...

Originally Posted by CobraTaz13

Another tough loss to the Tribe. I guess with every long winning streak (5 games or more) comes the associated losing streak. Now let's just hope that the losing streak stops at two.

I've noticed that, too, but after such a good run in July, I can't complain much. The team's come along well since those disastrous first few months, much further than I would have guessed.

I wanted to thank you for your offer of answering questions as they arise. Hopefully they will be held to a minimum.

Hope I can help. As I said -- if you ever feel the need, by all means...

I have it down to one of three teams (the tribe, O's or the Rangers). Not sure which yet, but hope to start again this weekend. Feel free to offer a suggestion. Thanks.

Well, the Rangers beat us 25-1 one game in May, and the Indians bother me with all of their young pitching and Jody Gerut, so punch out my chad for the Baltimore club.

Thanks to both of you.

[cknox0723]

For all of my back-and-forth yammering about the Cleveland ballclub, they have some fine pitchers. We face another one today in Clifford "The Big Red Bartosh", who has an ERA a hair or two below two. To make matters worse, we "counter" with The Scourge of the Earth. But at least we're at home!!1

Perhaps working in a front of a huge crowd of over 18,000 invigorates Esteban Loaiza, or perhaps not, but either way, he tosses just seven pitches in the top of the first inning, a frame in which he's perfect, sandwiching two long fly outs around a strikeout of Josh "The Score Bard".

Big Red Bartosh plunks Dmitri Young after retiring leadoff hitter Julio Lugo, but Brian Buchanan bounces into a double play. Loaiza is the recipient of similar fortune in the second, as his issuance of a leadoff walk to Ben "Broussard and Sauerkraut" is quickly negated thanks to a diving Frank Thomas, whose spectacular snare of a Ryan Ludwick screamer goes for not just one but two outs as Broussard is doubled up. Robin Ventura fans, and things are looking OK through an inning and a half.

After the next inning and a half, things are about the same. Loaiza continues to tiptoe through the tulips, relying more on luck than his nasty stuff, and we just can't get more than the odd single off of The Big Red Bartosh.

In the fourth, The Score Bard leads off with a base hit to left, and Jody Gerut gets a two-oh count and CRUSHES the third pitch to deep left. But Dmitri Young gets on his horse and makes a spectacular running catch at the warning track to turn an extra base hit into an out. The Tribe don't threaten the rest of the inning, and it stays scoreless. Bartosh toys with us like a spider, slowly entraping us in a sticky web of breaking pitches, but Loaiza manages to get through the fifth unscathed, even though the line drives are becoming more frequent.

I'm starting to worry that we're going to waste this spectacular, almost-human display of pitching by Loaiza, but eventually we'll come around, right? And sure enough...

"Two outs here in a scoreless game, bottom of the fifth, and Bartosh will set himself to face right-handed hitting Raul Gonzalez, who has the only hit today for the Pale Hose. Bard pounds his mitt and sets on the outside half. Bartosh with the slow step back...the southpaw turns and here's the pitch...high slider, hammered to deep right-center! Lofton is back, at the track...but that ball is long gone! Raul Gonzalez gets the Pale Hose on the board first with his third home run of the year, and it's 1-0 Chicago!"

Juan Uribe -- say it with me now... -- strikes out to end the inning.

But Loaiza, thanks in part to the defensive stylings of Julio Lugo, has no trouble with the top of the Cleveland order in the sixth, and it stays 1-0, if only for a brief moment.

Loaiza leads off the bottom of the sixth, and I get Joe Roa and Mike Gallo up in the bullpen, but realize that there's no one to pinch-hit (at least anyone that can hit southpaws), so I figure on going with Loaiza, with his pitch count of 72, until he hits the wall. Loaiza grounds out, as do The Hacktastic One and The Mad Russian...but Ben Broussard muffs Young's grounder, so we get a two-out baserunner. Brian Buchanan bounces a three-two pitch right to second, though, and -- OK, what the hell's going on? Pokey Reese kicks that one around, and now we have two men on for The Big Hurt. If the baseball gods aren't telling us something...

"The one-one pitch to Thomas...fastball, swung on and lined to the gap in right-center! Lofton on the run...but that ball's going to get past him and roll all the way to the wall! Young scores...Buchanan is rounding third and he will score, and Thomas pulls into second with a standup double, giving the Pale Hose a 3-0 lead!"

Joe Crede fans to end the inning, but we had one hit that inning and scored two runs. Nice percentage.

Two hard-hit shots in the top of the seventh, one a screaming liner and the other a hard ground ball, are both handled deftly by Frank Thomas, who looks like The Big Hurt of the mid 90's today. We don't add to our lead, but Joe Roa is perfect of the last two innings, and yet again, the Pale Hose have shown a glimmer, a gleam, or something that makes you think we might just get out of the second division someday.



CLE 0 CHW 3

WP: E. Loaiza (5-13) - 7 IP, 3 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 5 K, 84 pitches (not too shabby -- The Ungrateful One called this one some fifteen replies ago)
LP: C. Bartosh (13-4) - 7 IP, 5 H, 3 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 7 K, 102 pitches (ought to trade for him just because he's got a name that's very friendly to the snappy nickname)
S: J. Roa (10) - 2 IP, 0 baseunners, 13 pitches (K. Tekulve?)

Game Ball Goes To... I can't begin to explain Loaiza's sudden Hydian change, but Frank Thomas won this game for us with his double that busted it open and multiple excellent defensive plays. Extra credit to Raul Gonzalez. What an odd, odd way to win a ballgame, but if the shoe fits...

[CobraTaz13]

Nice way to end a series. When you see two straight errors, you have to expect something good to happen. Especially when one of the offenders is Reese. Follow it up with a Big Hurt, and the Tribe was finished.

[cknox0723]

Originally Posted by CobraTaz13

Nice way to end a series. When you see two straight errors, you have to expect something good to happen. Especially when one of the offenders is Reese. Follow it up with a Big Hurt, and the Tribe was finished.

I agree, actually, with everything you said.

Except we still have one more game with your club. Thanks, Stickware schedule, keep up the good -- well, we won this last one, right? And we're at home...we can finish the Tribe off one more time. Can't we?

[cknox0723]

A split? You're telling me we could manage a split in this series? Well, Felix Diaz will have to pitch well enough to outduel Fausto Carmona, the 22 year old pheenom...and Diaz went 0-4 in six starts last season. And he's less than a year removed from a severe shoulder injury. Yes, we can manage a split today, most definitely.

18,000 plus settle into their seats for some Sunday afternoon baseball, but scarcely had the words "Play ball!" been shouted before Cleveland has a baserunner, as Kenny Lofton lines Diaz's first pitch right back through the middle for a base hit. Victor Martinez walks on four pitches, and I'm worrying after two batters. Diaz gets ahead of Jody Gerut, though...but The Stanford Alumnus fouls off five straight pitches, working the count full...and then he gets well under a fastball and pops it up on the infield. One down. Ben Broussard does the same, except on the first pitch, and now Diaz has a real chance to show that his intestinal fortitudousnessness (Thanks Gordy! Hope the exams are going well!). He's careful with Ryan Ludwick, walking the Tribe's leader in ribbies with 81 on five pitches, and that loads the bases for .178 hitting Mark Bellhorn. CLANG! He grounds out to Enrique Wilson at second base (starting for Juan Uribe, who's 0-16 in August) on a 2-0 fastball. Welcome back to the big leagues, Mr. Diaz. Keep it up...

In the bottom of the first, Hacktastic Julio flies out to "lead off", but Raul Gonzalez, who's turned into a fearsome beast of hitting, singles to give us a baserunner. He's quickly off the basepaths -- but for the right reason, for a pleasant change.

"Three balls, one strike to Magglio Ordonez. Carmona checks the runner at first...to the set. Slide step and the pitch...up in the strike zone and it is CRUSHED to left! Ludwick doesn't even move, and that ball is way, way out of here! A titanic blast by Magglio Ordonez, his eighteenth home run of the year, and the White Sox grab a 2-0 lead!"

445 feet.

Thomas and Borchard go down, but that lead gives Felix the Cat a bit of a comfort zone for the second inning. Of course, he struggles, giving up a leadoff hit to Angel Berroa and falling behind 3-0 to Pokey Reese, but the Tribe second sacker lives up to his nickname by hacking on 3-0 -- and hitting a sharp grounder right at Julio Lugo. Double play, 6-4-3. Carmona whiffs, and that's the frame.

Carmona pulls a flower out from behind our collective ear, though, striking out the side in the bottom of the second. That's probably not the best of omens. Diaz looks like he'll get through the third inning OK, though, but with Kenny Lofton at first, Ben Broussard sits on the fastball on a 3-0 count, and when Diaz grooves one, Broussard puts the mustard on it, tying the game with a two-run blast to the cheap seats in right. A shaken Diaz gives up a double to Ryan Ludwick, and when Mark Bellhorn hits a ground ball that squeaks through the infield, suddenly it's 3-2 Tribe. Angel Berroa hits a shot to right that carries out, and suddenly it's a mess. It takes the pitcher to make the third out, and it's 5-2.

Demoralized, the offense continues their descent into the abyss, scuffling through the next few innings, and Diaz allows a third home run, a two-run shot to Mark Bellhorn in the fifth, and he's pinch-hit for in the bottom of the fifth in a 7-2 game. That doesn't get us anywhere, either, but at least Rick Ankiel pitches a scoreless sixth. If nothing else, I always did have that sense of optimism.

Oh, and -- game's over, right? Well...

Carmona suddenly tires in the sixth, and Maggs and Frank Thomas start the inning with back-to-back doubles, making it a 7-3 game. After Borch strikes out, Scott Eyre, a southpaw with an ERA under two, comes on. Joe Crede greets him with a base hit, and Oxygen Tank Thomas chugs home. 7-4. Enrique whiffs, but Jason LaRue draws a free pass to keep the inning alive.

Except the pitcher's slot's due up, and there's no one warming. Hurriedly, I yell at Mercurial Kiko and Carlton to get ready, and tell Buchs to grab a bat. And the lefty-masher -- the same guy that was 2-20 in July -- responds by doing what he did so well the first few months of the year, that skill that got him in a Pale Hose uniform in the first place. Line drive. Base hit. 7-5. Hacktastic Julio grounds to second, of course, but we're breathing.

Despite little in the way of warmup, Mercurial Kiko has enough to get through the seventh. Eyre stays on for the Cleveland half, but there's an "Eyre of Malaise" as he issues a walk to Raul Gonzalez to begin the inning. Maggs whacks a shot to the gap, his third hit of the game, and he holds at second as Gonzalez eases into third. Tying run in scoring position, no one out -- and Frank Thomas walks to load the bases. Cliff Lee comes out of the 'pen -- and Joe Borchard, 8-68 against southpaws on the year, singles to left. Two runs score, we're tied, the lead run's at second, and there's still no one out. Of course, Joe Crede, that asshat, hits a tailor-made double play ball -- but Angel Berroa bobbles it slightly, and they only get the force at second. The Relief Ace walks to load the bases, and I pinch-hit lefty-mashing Miggy Olivo for Jason LaRue. Olivo gets a 2-1 count...gets a big, sweeping curve...and pops it up behind the plate. Victor Martinez squeezes it. Two outs. Sh*t. The pitcher's slot is up again, and I have to go with D.Y., even though I planned to give him the day off today. He gets called out on strikes on a lousy pitch, and I go and get myself tossed, just because. It'll rally up the troops, I tell you.

Mike Gallo, with Dmitri Young at third base (way to go, Ozzie!), is perfect in the eighth, but Mike Koplove, the sidearming right-hander, turns the trick on us in the bottom of the inning. Gallo and Akinori Otsuka get through the top of the ninth frame, giving us a chance to win it with our last licks. But the closest we get on proven closer David Riske is first base, via a Joe Borchard single, and it's on to extra frames.

Joe Roa is our third pitcher in as many innings, and working back-to-back games, he looks somewhat shaky, giving up two hits and a drive to the warning track, but Kenny Lofton strikes out on a nasty 3-2 fastball on the outside half to strand two runners.

We've got another chance in the bottom of the tenth, and Hackin' Miggy draws his second walk of the year to start the frame. That gets the closer Riske the gate, and left-hander Scott Stewart retires third baseman Dmitri Young on a foul pop-up. But in a LaRussian move, Eric Wedge pulls Stewart for Armando Benitez, and he just doesn't seem to have it. Julio Lugo singles to left, and a Raul Gonzalez walk loads the bases for the guy every Pale Hose fan would want up in this situation, the Buddha. He laces a 1-1 fastball over the second base bag for a single, and Miggy touches home to the cheers of 15,000. No bananas involved (except this one -- ), but that was a satisfying split nonetheless, and a heck of a comeback to pull it off.



CLE 7 CHW 8 (10)

WP: J. Roa (6-1) - 1 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 2 K
LP: D. Riske (3-6) - like fans of the Mets did oh so well, he can blame Armando Benitez

Game Ball Goes To... Give credit to the bullpen - five scoreless innings, but Buddha had an absolutely huge day -- a single, two doubles, a two-run jack, three runs scored, three batted in. And, uh, we got the win behind Felix Diaz. Does he get another start?

[Vris]

For Diaz's sake, I hope not. He had one good inning, maybe. Talk about your struggles. But thankfully, Buddha is on your side.

By the way, I have finally witnessed the non-dancing banana. You hear about and hear about it, but until you see it it's like the Island Monster from Lost.

Anyways, congrats Craig and if you keep getting wins like that, you have all the more reason to hope. Yay!

[cknox0723]

Originally Posted by Vris

For Diaz's sake, I hope not. He had one good inning, maybe. Talk about your struggles. But thankfully, Buddha is on your side.

By the way, I have finally witnessed the non-dancing banana. You hear about and hear about it, but until you see it it's like the Island Monster from Lost.

Anyways, congrats Craig and if you keep getting wins like that, you have all the more reason to hope. Yay!

Yeah, Diaz sucks, but with Afflicted Jorge shut down for the moment, Felix the Cat might have to get another start. Ah well...can't go much worse than this one.

The banana is dancing for me. I must be doing something wrong. But we're winning anyway! Thanks for commenting.

[DAL 9000]

May I commend you on the Steve Chilcott reference a couple days ago? 'cause as a friend of mine would say, "Like, dude, you made a Steve Chilcott reference, man! I can't believe it, dude!"

Actually, he's less a friend than a person for whose spontaneous combustion I pray both daily and fervently. Also in that post: a Hector Made sighting! I have him in an online league and he put up a Neifi-esque OPS... /in A ball/. Why, papa, why? Why do four-star prospects make us cry? (He's only 19, so I'm sure he'll improve, and I /hope/ he can turn into your version of Hector Made at some point.)

On the big club: I still can't believe your Sox are on pace for a record better than, say, 2-160. But the pennant is in sight! Uh, with a... with a telescope, mind you. 's still in sight, though.

[cknox0723]

Originally Posted by DAL 9000

May I commend you on the Steve Chilcott reference a couple days ago? 'cause as a friend of mine would say, "Like, dude, you made a Steve Chilcott reference, man! I can't believe it, dude!"

Let's go Mets!

Originally Posted by DAL 9000

Actually, he's less a friend than a person for whose spontaneous combustion I pray both daily and fervently.

Hey, I've thought the same about my roommate!

Originally Posted by DAL 9000

Also in that post: a Hector Made sighting! I have him in an online league and he put up a Neifi-esque OPS... /in A ball/. Why, papa, why? Why do four-star prospects make us cry? (He's only 19, so I'm sure he'll improve, and I /hope/ he can turn into your version of Hector Made at some point.)

Yeah, Big Hector put up that sort of OPS back in '04 in this here game, too, but busted out the next year and he's having a very nice year again. And at least he's not Ryan "Future Star with a .600 OPS in A-ball" Sweeney.

Originally Posted by DAL 9000

On the big club: I still can't believe your Sox are on pace for a record better than, say, 2-160. But the pennant is in sight! Uh, with a... with a telescope, mind you. 's still in sight, though.

Heh heh heh. A telescope. Yeah, I don't know why or how we're doing things like splitting four-game sets with Cleveland, but we're playing some fine baseball and if we keep it up, we'll be one of the "surprise teams of 2007". Of course, that neglects to figure out how we're going to replace Dmitri Young and...well, that subject's worthy a few posts of its own. Which I'll get to, of course.

Good to see you 'round these parts again, David, and not causing a ruckus in the Discussions forum. May your Tiger dynasty rest peacefully.

[cknox0723]

Some interesting enough little tidbits for a separate little post about them, or maybe I'm just trying to up my post count. You decide.

AN EAST COAST BIAS, OF COURSE

Ichiro!'s hit streak ended...well, two days ago, but I neglected to mention it, so here 'tis. 33 games, and it snapped when he pinch-hit in the eighth and bounced into a double play. He got a second at-bat in the ninth when the Sailors made a three-run comeback, but Ichiro! flew out and that closed the book on his chance to tie DiMaggio -- if he kept the streak up for another three weeks. And for the ten-cent word of the day, that's absolutely stupefying.

David Weathers has 41 saves in 111 team games. One of the few Pale Hosemen in the record books, Bobby Thigpen, ought to start sweating, if he isn't already.

Javier Vazquez has 19 freaking wins, and it's August seventh, game time. 19 wins at the beginning of August. No one else in the American League has even 15 victories, and in the NL, only Mark Prior with his ridiculous 1.14 ERA has anywhere near that number, and he's still two short of Vazquez, who must really, really, really know how to win.

CHICAGO STYLE PIZZA

Chris Scarborough was hit rather hard in his last start, six innings and five runs allowed to take the loss, dropping his record to 2-1 and pushing his ERA up to 2.90. But his WHIP is still a sparkling 0.84, and his strikeout to walk ratio is a solid 29 to 5.

We travel to the Baggydome for a three-game set, which truly disheartens me. So, some new standings before we get that debacle underway:

Cleveland Indians.........64-46 (.582, L2, -- GB)
Minnesota Twins...........61-51 (.545, L1, 4 GB)
Kansas City Royals........57-53 (.518, W4, 7 GB)
Detroit Fighting Felines..47-66 (.416, L9, 18.5 GB)
Chicago Pale Hose.........46-65 (.414, W2, 18.5 GB)

Hey, isn't that something? Enjoy it while it lasts...I mean, and next, we take third!!1

[canadiancreed]

holy crap thanks to the kitties getting declawed (and shaved and then getting ambushed) you might not have the crappiest record in your own division......which make me wonder just how bad the other teams are

[cknox0723]

Originally Posted by canadiancreed

holy crap thanks to the kitties getting declawed (and shaved and then getting ambushed) you might not have the crappiest record in your own division......which make me wonder just how bad the other teams are

Shaved and ambushed. (Sorry Vris.)

Next off day, I'll throw up the whole league's standings...even the National League, against my better judgment. OK, off we go to the Great White Not-Quite-North...

[cknox0723]

Barry Zito's beaten us twice since coming off the disabled list in late June after a five-week stint for some arm problems, but those are the only two wins he's gotten. That's another stathead question to ponder -- is that, uh, good or bad for our bunch?

I couldn't tell you, but Jon Garland's starting today, and I don't care if his ERA is 4.43, he's...

Well, he's not a very good pitcher. But one doesn't necessarily need to be a good pitcher to succeed, and Zito and Garland prove that (or maybe they don't) with scoreless first frames.

Not much changes in the second, as Zito overpowers us with his mid-nineties heat and dazzles us with his sharp slider, but Jon Moo gets three groundballs and the Twins don't threaten, either.

It appears to be the same story in the third, though at least we get wood on the ball a bit. With two outs, no one on, and the count full, Hackin' Miggy hits a high, long fly ball to left that's long enough to make the glorps start yelling, but high enough for Shannon Stewart to haul in rather easily.

Garland looks to be cruising through the lower half of the third, but Joe Mauer, who's hitting below the Borchard line, cracks a two-out double to the gap in right-center. And as you might expect, Corey Koskie follows with a single. Mike Cuddyer puts us in dire straits with a triple off the wall in left, and it's not until Torii Hunter grounds out that the inning ends. Two-zip Twins.

Buchs and Maggs knock singles over the infield to give us a quick threat in the top of the fourth, but we run out of guys whose names can be shortened by tacking an 'S' on at the end, and that limits the run-scoring a bit.

Garland collapses in the bottom half, perhaps disheartened at the lack of support. A pair of singles and a walk load the bases, but Jonny Moo gets a couple groundballs, and it looks as though he'll do well to get out of the inning with only one run across...except then he balks a run home. Joe Mauer strikes out to end the inning, but now it's 4-0, a gaping chasm that may as well be 40-0 with Barry Zito on the hill.

We can't close it or even come anywhere close, and even as Zito tires, he's able to get out of jams. In the seventh, Joe Crede hits a long drive to right that just dies, and Lew Ford hauls it in. In the eighth, we get a pair of baserunners, but Buchs kills a threat with a tailor-made double play ball. Adam Johnson pitches well enough to set us down in the ninth, and there's not a whole hell of a lot you, me, or any other "manager" could've done this time 'round, except maybe bunt a few thousand times, and what good would that've done?

CHW 0 MIN 4

WP: B. Zito (8-5) - 8 IP, 5 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 7 K
LP: J. Garland (4-8) - 7 IP, 8 H, 4 R, 5 BB, 3 K, 122 pitches

Game Ball Goes To... Baked Zito. Yum. I could go for some of that right now. And how do you hit him, anyway?

[cknox0723]

Quent Moore just sent me an e-mail saying that Chris Scarborough should be promoted to AAA. He may very well be right, but this is the same guy whose scouting report on Julio Lugo says that he makes "frequent contact". Yes, the same guy hitting .220 with an OPS of .580, numbers that would be below replacement-level in the 1960's in Crosley Field.

Anyhoo, we have a nice little pitching matchup in our second game with the Twinkies, made especially nice because Mark Buehrle's been decidedly better than Ben Sheets this year, though that probably won't stop our offense from struggling to score runs.

And in the top of the first frame, right on cue, D.Y. slams a one-out shot into the right field corner that goes for two bags, but we fail to make solid contact otherwise, and Sheets gets out of the inning unsullied. Against the primarily right-handed Minnesota lineup, Buehrle isn't dominant, allowing a leadoff hit to Shannon Stewart and spending most of the bottom of the inning in danger, but Alex Cintron swings through a nasty 1-2 changeup for strike three and out number three, stranding runners at the corners.

The second inning's pretty much the same sequence, except we don't bother with the 'getting on base' part, and the bottom of the inning's a pretty wild one, with Larry Walker getting tossed for arguing balls and strikes and the pitcher Sheets lining a single with two outs to put runners at the corners for Shannon Stewart...who grounds out. OK, so maybe that's not the same sequence. But it was more dramatic that way, wasn't it?

A two-out hit from .220 Means Frequent Contact doesn't give us much hope, and when D.Y. grounds to short, there's at least solace in the fact that we'll have the heart of the order in the fourth. Well, maybe not so much, but at least Buddha will take his turn at the bat. Joe Mauer, the native Minnesotan, singles to start the Twins' half of the third, but Matt LeCroy, the famed pig wrestler and lefty-punisher, raps a bouncer right back to Buehrle, and that starts a twin killing. Torii Hunter's fly out to left-center is pretty much just a formality, and we're scoreless through three.

Ben Pillows gets a heaping portion of Machiavellian fortune in the fourth, with spectacular defense from Lew Ford and a screaming line drive off of Joe Borchard's bat that just happens to be right at Jason Bartlett, the third baseman. Well, at least we're hitting the ball a bit. Buehrle, as is his norm today, puts a couple guys on base in the bottom half, but the pitcher Sheets grounds to third to end the inning, stranding two runners.

While I'm wondering how long this bizarre game of cat-and-mouse could possibly go on, Enrique Wilson leads off the fifth with a screaming line drive -- right at Alex Cintron. Damn it. What are we doing wrong, baseball gods?

"Sheets has run the count full on the second baseman Juan Uribe, who's oh-for-one today. Mauer pounds the glove and sets up on the inside half. Sheets with a slight step back, the wind and the pitch...breaking ball up in the zone and hammered down the left field line! Stewart is back...at the track, at the wall...but that ball is outta here! Juan Uribe hammers a hanging curveball eight rows into the left field seats, and the White Sox take a 1-0 lead!"

Oh. I called that one, didn't I?

We get a chance at some more runs when Jason LaRue, who's hitting about .150 on the road, follows with a single, and Buehrle bunts him to second to bring up The Hacktastic One with two outs. Of course, Mr. Frequent Contact pops out to right-center, and we have to settle for a 1-0 edge.

Buehrle's heteroskedastic tendencies continue into the fifth. Despite retiring leadoff hitter Shannon Stewart, leading off for the second time by mere chance, Joe Mauer, the most dangerous .200 hitter ever, follows with a double. On a hunch, I call for an intentional walk of the lefty-mashing Pig Wrestler, and Buehrle responds like he's Mark Buehrle, and not the odd dual version of Jon Garland that he's pitched like today, inducing Spiderman to rap into a tailor-made double play ball, Lugo to Uribe to Fullmer. It's like poetry in moti -- no, no, it's not at all, but I'll take it anyway.

Mattresses blows away D.Y., Buddha, and The Braddy Bunch, fanning the latter two, but Buehrle turns the same trick, albeit on Jason Bartlett (who can't particularly hit) and Mike "Cuddyer Straits", who can, or at least his 74 runs batted in say he can. But not today, and the speed of that inning means Buehrle, who's around 90 pitches, might have two more innings left in him. Not that I'm getting ahead of myself here...

Benjamin Sheets (boy, that looks awkward) is still below 70 pitches, but when Joe Borchard crushes a 2-2 pitch to right, I couldn't care less about the pitch count, and Lew Ford's effort seems to be in vain...until the ball gets caught in one of those voracious wind pockets in the Metrodome, and Ford's able to haul it in near the wall. Just another out, and we aren't able to mount much in the way of run-scoring in the rest of the inning. But the Twins limit their chances at run-scoring when they let the pitcher bat in the bottom half, and -- "Sheets strokes a single"? Hmmm...

But their lack of Productive Outs (TM) comes back to bite them when Shannon Stewart flies out instead of bunting, and Joe Mauer gets into a two-strike hole and..."laces a shot to left"? What the -- but Mr. Frequent Contact makes a diving stop, scrambles to his feet, and rifles a bullet to first to nip Mauer by a step, ending the inning.

I let The Buehrle One take his hacks in the eighth, and apparently he's been covered by some of the magic faerie dust that's all over the bat of Ben Sheets, because he lines a shot to right. But yet again, Lew "Platinum Glove" Ford comes up with a masterful catch. Mr. Frequent Contact strikes out (another notch in Quent Moore's belt!), but D.Y. hits his second double -- only to be stranded for the second time as Maggs flies out, a spectacular way to cap off an 0-4 day.

I realize a half-inning too late that with the heart of the Minnesota order coming up, it might have been wise to pinch-hit for The Buehrle One, but it's too late now. Damn it, I guess that makes me the Grady Little of these Sox. To make matters worse, The Pig Wrestler, who destroys lefties, leads off. Buehrle runs the count full...and his payoff pitche is a dazzling changeup placed providently on the outside edge that LeCroy takes...for strike three. Clutch...like Derek Jeter. Spiderman grounds out, and last year's 56-double man, Alex Cintron, does the same. Boy, that was a great move to keep Buehrle in for the eighth! It must be that managerial instinct!

We go down quickly and painlessly in the top of the ninth, and it's all down to the last half-inning. With light-hitting Jason Bartlett to lead off, Ron Gardenhire calls on...left-handed Corey Koskie to pinch-hit. "Well, why change pitchers then?" I think to myself. Koskie swings at the first pitch and taps it right back to Buehrle, who secures it tightly in his glove, takes five steps over toward first base, and flips it to Brad Fullmer. One down. Buehrle's at 119 pitches, but can I really take him out now? No, of course not -- he's two outs away from a complete game. Michael Cuddyer draws a walk on five pitches, putting us in rather "Cuddyer Straits" (rimshot), but Lew Ford pops out, and it's all up to Casey McGehee. He bloops a single. Insert gratuitous cursing. Shannon Stewart steps in, I panic and do nothing like Grady Little, and he lines a shot up the middle past a diving Uribe (SH*T! Who is he, Derek Jeter???), and pinch-runner Josh Rabe (nickname: "Rabe-id Squirrel") scores to tie the game.

Oh, and now the winning run's ninety feet away. I call on Aki Otsuka, like I should have done a long time ago, and he induces Joe Mauer to hit a bouncer to short. I don't breathe until the ball's out of Julio Lugo's hands, and even then, he decides to flip it to his double-play partner Juan Uribe, so I don't breathe until we're running off the field, preparing for extra innings. Extra innings. Sh*t.

Boy, I'm most certainly not the latter-day Jake Flowers!

A very interesting link, by the way -- it's a Bill James story, but a good one, and if you're not familiar with it, give it a click and give yourself some time to read it. Oh, and I'll tell you who won this one in the morning.

[CobraTaz13]

Tough first game against the Twinkies. I bet the 2004 A's wished the would get similar pitching performances from Zito. I don't think he looked that good all year.

Oh and by the way thanks for the cliff hanger for game two. Now I will have to check back frequently to see if the end game has been posted.

See the standings above, I am hoping that you will keep us posted if the queens of the jungle fall to last place. Second, seeing the Tribe in first makes me want to cry as I can't seem to get a victory yet. We are a amazing 0-5 to start the season.

[cknox0723]

Originally Posted by CobraTaz13

Tough first game against the Twinkies. I bet the 2004 A's wished the would get similar pitching performances from Zito. I don't think he looked that good all year.

You may be right -- that, I think, is one area where Monsieur Beane may have miscalculated, in not getting value while Zito was at his monstrous, Cy Young-winning peak, because he never really had the peripherals to be a GREAT pitcher. At the same time, Beane's far enough outside the box as it is, and had something like that backfired...

Originally Posted by CobraTaz13

Oh and by the way thanks for the cliff hanger for game two. Now I will have to check back frequently to see if the end game has been posted.

Heh. I only did it because the original post was so long...well, that, and to up my post count. And for dramatic effect, of course.

Originally Posted by CobraTaz13

See the standings above, I am hoping that you will keep us posted if the queens of the jungle fall to last place. Second, seeing the Tribe in first makes me want to cry as I can't seem to get a victory yet. We are a amazing 0-5 to start the season.

With the standings, will do, and not to get ahead of myself or anything, but I think (hope) there'll be some more standings sooner rather than later. Ha ha ha...

Oh, and you may or may not know this, but these Pale Hose started the year something like 8-7, furthering my already massive ego. Then we lost 8 straight. Anyhow, I wish we would've just sucked to start the season, but trust me -- that first victory will be a sweet one.

Thanks for the comment.

[cknox0723]

Ah, bonus baseball...

I consider ejecting myself before the top of the tenth, but pull my head out of my ass in time to see Juan Uribe and then Miggy Olivo, pinch-hitting for The Street because left-hander Pedro Feliciano came on for Minnesota, both go down quickly. I make the decision to let Aki Otsuka bat for himself, if only because he's far and away our best shot to get through the tenth, and predictably, he grounds out to end the inning.

I half-expect Matt LeCroy to hit a home run to lead off the inning, just so the baseball gods can metaphorically flip me off. However, his long, high fly ball is run down at the track by Buddha. Torii Hunter swings right through a 2-2 fastball, and Alex Cintron's hard ground ball down the first base line is knocked down by Brad Fullmer, who's somehow able to flip it to Otsuka in time to get the third out of the inning.

Lugo, Young, and Ordonez don't get the ball out of the infield in the eleventh, though that's mostly because Alex Cintron made a hell of a defensive play to rob Maggs of a line-drive hit. Otsuka gives a bloop hit to Alex Cora to begin the bottom of the eleventh in fine fashion, and Nick Punto sacrifices, putting the winning run at second. But Lew Ford bounces to third and Ron Gardenhire makes the curious decision to let Feliciano hit (don't tell me it's unrealistic, though -- I just did the same thing!), and he whiffs, so we live for another frame.

Ah, I see why he let him hit -- the Twins are out of bench players. Good job on that one, Ronnie. Still, Feliciano sets us down again, and after seeing that the pitcher's slot is up third for our boys next inning, I go with Otsuka for another frame. He retires Shannon Stewart, but Joe Mauer and Matt LeCroy both knock base hits, and it's at that point that I go to Joe Roa. Too late, but the old phrase "better late than never" comes to my mind. Torii Hunter flies out to hopefully cap off his day at the plate, a day where he's made six outs. Only one more to get out of the inning...and Roa needs just one pitch to do it, as Alex Cintron hits a can of corn to center.

Feliciano gives up another cannon line drive to start the thirteenth, but it's just a loud out in the glove of The Pig Wrestler. Miggy Olivo follows with a shot to left that's not an at 'em ball, though, and that means a pinch-hitter and a new pitcher in Jesse Crain. I call on the incredibly hot bat of Raul Gonzalez and foolishly signal to Dan Pasqua to hit and run. It works -- sort of, as Gonzalez's three-hopper to first goes for only one out, and that brings up The Hacktastic One with two outs and the lead run at second. Finally, after so many mistakes today, I do something that makes sense, pinch-hitting with Frank Thomas. But who's going to play shortstop?

"The one-one from Crain...breaking ball, Thomas stays back and lines it to right-center...in front of Hunter for a base hit! Olivo will score standing up, and the White Sox have taken a 2-1 lead!"

D.Y. follows with a single, and if Buddha comes through, it might not matter much who's playing shortstop.

"The two-two from Crain...fastball...and Ordonez is punched out by home plate umpire Dana DeMuth! That'll end the inning, much to the chagrin of Magglio Ordonez, but Dan Pasqua hogties him and drags him to the dugout, where he'll grab his glove and do his best to help the Sox protect their one-run lead."

A thousand defensive changes ensue. Juan Uribe shifts from second to short, Enrique Wilson from third to second. Joe Crede enters to play third base, Raul Gonzalez stays in the game to play left field, and P.J. Bevis enters to pitch. All of that, and Magglio didn't even need to grab his glove, because Bevis gets Alex Cora to bounce to third for the first out, Nick Punto to tap one to second for the second out, and Lew Ford hits a sky-high pop-up that carries all of 40 feet, eventually landing in the mitt of Brad Fullmer. Despite all of my screw-ups, we still got the 'W'. Guess I'm just not that important after all. What a shot to the ego.



CHW 2 MIN 1 (13)

WP: J. Roa (7-1) - 3 pitches, 2 outs, 2 inherited runners stranded
LP: P. Feliciano (6-4) - 3.1 IP, 1 H, 1 R, 44 pitches (Did they leave him in too long? I don't know -- it's the same with Buehrle, who I'll readily admit that I left in too long, but how do you take out a guy who's pitching like that?)
S: P.J. Bevis (7) - 6 pitches, 3 outs, and an ERA a tenth of a run below six (considering that eleven-run blowup in May...that's pretty impressive)

Game Ball Goes To... Frank Thomas won us the game, Mark Buehrle should have gotten the win had I gone to the 'pen earlier, and Joe Roa got the win and P.J. Bevis the save. So it's going to Aki Otsuka, who kept us alive until he ran out of gas. Two and two-thirds scoreless. And guess what, intrepid readers?

A Tribe Called Cleveland..........65-46 (.586, W1, -- GB)
Minnesota Has Two Cities..........62-53 (.544, L1, 4.5 GB)
De-Throned in Kansas City.........57-54 (.514, L1, 5.5 GB)
Some Team With Heart..............47-66 (.416, W1, 19 GB)
The De-Clawed Kitty Cats..........47-67 (.412, L10, 19.5 GB)

[Vris]

Well it helps when the team your chasing has gone on and lost 10 in a row. I wouldn't call the stretch you're on magnificent, but it ain't bad.

Let's see...where to begin....

Yes, you left Buehrle in too long. Pinch hitting Oxygen Tank for Hacktastic, though it did work out in the end, was obviously the only move you could make because you do have the personnel to bounce around to make the infield work. I do that stuff all the time when I play my games out, when I can (though I rarely play them out anymore).

Do you love baseball that much that you have to make it an extra-inning/close game every time out? You rarely get blown out anymore, but I do notice that when you get in an early hole, you're write-ups are shorter. Umm...after reading that again, it hardly made sense.

Congrats on the win and the moving up in the standings. Now, it's off to Senior Seminar/Number Theory!! Yay for math majors!

[cknox0723]

Originally Posted by Vris

Well it helps when the team your chasing has gone on and lost 10 in a row. I wouldn't call the stretch you're on magnificent, but it ain't bad.

Hey, I'll take my victories where I can get 'em. Even if we win the battle because the other team runs blindly up a hill, we still won the battle, right?

Originally Posted by Vris

Let's see...where to begin....

Yes, you left Buehrle in too long.

Give the man a stuffed bear! Yeah, I realized that a bit too late -- though he is our horse, and it's tough to dismount and switch to the mule, or something like that. Got to strike a balance somewhere...but as with Jon Rauch, I'll find it eventually. I hope.

Originally Posted by Vris

Pinch hitting Oxygen Tank for Hacktastic, though it did work out in the end, was obviously the only move you could make because you do have the personnel to bounce around to make the infield work. I do that stuff all the time when I play my games out, when I can (though I rarely play them out anymore).

Yeah, it's actually kind of sad that with Ramon Vazquez hurt, most of our infield can't hit. But Big Frank still has some pop left in his bat.

Originally Posted by Vris

Do you love baseball that much that you have to make it an extra-inning/close game every time out? You rarely get blown out anymore, but I do notice that when you get in an early hole, you're write-ups are shorter. Umm...after reading that again, it hardly made sense.

Nah, I got it. And yes, I do just love baseball that much. Every game should be an extra inning game! Well, it's at least made for a lot of drama over the dog days, anyway -- would you believe that there's only 50 or so games left in the season?

Originally Posted by Vris

Congrats on the win and the moving up in the standings. Now, it's off to Senior Seminar/Number Theory!! Yay for math majors!

Thanks a lot. As for "Senior Seminar/Number Theory", whatever that is...you have my pity. Sounds painful.

As for whoever was in invisible mode whilst reading this little ditty...you don't have my pity. (EDIT: Look, I'm a poet!!1) Or something like that. [Insert stupid smiley here]

[CobraTaz13]

Originally Posted by Vris

Now, it's off to Senior Seminar/Number Theory!! Yay for math majors!

Been there and done that. And people wonder why math majors end up losing hair at an early age. Okay, I am just speaking about myself, but it could happen.

Craig, thanks for getting the extra innings affair posted. Now I can sleep better tonight. With all of the extra inning games going, one has to wonder if your pitching staff still has arms attached to shoulders?

Lastly, finally not in last place in the division. Now let's hope you can stay there, as I have a feeling the Declawed kitties will run off a winning streak.