Portland Raccoons (ABL)

[Westheim]

2073 CONTINENTAL LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES
Portland Raccoons (105-57) vs. Atlanta Knights (105-57)

The Raccoons had a day off for travel and for finding out that Phil LeVan had cracked his elbow in the collision with an Atlanta wall, so he was obviously out for the year, and we were down to three outfielders for the rest of this series, and then the odd emergency assignment like Ronaldo Rivera on the corners or Katz in center (once hell froze over, and only then!). Sam Brown would also get a shot after Contreras went 0-for-9 in Atlanta.

Game 3 – Scott Bickerton (17-10, 3.11 ERA) vs. Andy Canada (18-9, 3.11 ERA)

Bickerton had faced the Knights three times – all while still with the Falcons, and had lost all of those starts, going 0-3 with a 6.61 ERA. Canada had also pitched three times against the Coons, but had rather sparkled, 2-0 with a 1.21 ERA.

The ceremonial first pitch was thrown out by Haji Thulalinglongkorn, affectionally known as “Haj”, the 2073 State Spelling Bee champion.

ATL: CF Ehlers – 3B B. Metz – LF Jo. Soto – C Boudreaux – RF D. Mendoza – 2B Jer. White – 1B M. Medina – SS X. Contreras – P Canada
POR: CF Schneider – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – 1B Woodley – RF Markovich – C S. Brown – LF Etienne – 3B Rivera – P Bickerton

Right away, Bickerton tried to get that fourth loss of the year against Atlanta, giving up a single to Ehlers, nailing Metz, throwing a wild pitch, and walking Mendoza with two outs in the first inning, but then Jeremy White struck out and stranded all the runners. It only cost Bickers 31 pitches. Schneider drew a walk, but was doubled up by Yocum in the bottom 1st, and Miguel Medina and Xavier Contreras right away went to the corners with leadoff hits in the second inning. Canada’s bunt was bad and forced out Contreras at second base, and Ehlers and Metz both popped out as the Raccoons kept flirting with an early and hefty deficit.

For the rest of four innings, neither team reached base with less than two outs, or touched third base. Brown and Etienne hit 2-out singles in the second, and Yocum hit a 2-out single in the third, and Bickers inexplicably walked Canada with two outs at some point, but neither team made anything from those opportunities. The first less-than-2-outs batter to reach after the early scoreless drama was Ronaldo Rivera, singling with one out in the bottom 5th. Bickers bunted him over, but Schneider grounded out, too.

Bickerton finished six messy shutout innings on 99 pitches, plus a pop from Canada on his 100th pitch to begin the seventh inning, then was replaced with Chad Brown, who got Ehlers to pop out to short before giving up singles to the 2-3 batters. Toby Boudreaux then flew out to Etienne on the warning track… Rios handled the eighth inning while giving out a 2-out walk to Medina, but the game remained scoreless.

Both teams were on seven hits and no runs through eight innings, once Yocum hit a 2-out single against Canada in the bottom 8th, but Katz lined out to White. Justin Hart then batted for Canada to begin the ninth inning. He singled off Cecere, but two groundouts and a fly out to Schneider kept this runner on base, too. The Raccoons faced Elijah LaBat in the bottom 9th, beginning with Woodley. Him, Markovich, and Contreras made three useless outs, and a scoreless game went to extra innings.

Rule 5 Ron got around a leadoff single by Boudreaux in the tenth inning, getting three straight outs afterwards, while LaBat was still in the game for the tenth, but lost Etienne on balls to begin the inning. Etienne ran on the first pitch to Rivera, but Boudreaux threw the ball away, and Etienne hustled all the way to third base with the winning run and nobody out! Rivera ended up being walked haphazardly after that, and McFarland batted for Rismiller. He hit a fly to left that Soto caught on the slide heading towards the left foul line – but that meant he sat on his tush on the ground and had to scramble up first, giving Etienne more than enough time to jigger home from third base…!

Raccoons 1, Knights 0 (10) – Raccoons lead 2-1

Yocum 3-4;

Not a lot to shout about in this game, but at least it went into the right column!

Game 4 – Aldomiro Campion (10-5, 2.81 ERA) vs. Bobby MacDonald (9-3, 2.44 ERA)

Both these starters had missed a chunk of the season due to injury, but Aldo had still managed to face Miners three times. He went 1-1 with a 3.12 ERA. MacDonald had only faced the Raccoons once in September, getting a no-decision for six innings and two unearned runs.

The ceremonial first pitch was thrown out by right-hander He Shui, the leader in wins of the 2054 Raccoons, the most recent team of Brownshirts to win the World Series. Shui was a 28-year-old rookie in that season and won the ERA title right away in addition to Rookie of the Year honors. He went 92-72 with a 3.63 ERA, and saves 22 games in an 8-year career in the ABL, pitching for three different teams.

ATL: 2B Ehlers – RF D. Mendoza – CF Jo. Soto – LF Troxel – 1B Jer. White – C Hart – 3B B. Metz – SS X. Contreras – P MacDonald
POR: CF Schneider – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – 1B Woodley – RF Markovich – C S. Brown – LF Etienne – 3B Rivera – P Campion

Aldo pitched one inning, in which Ehlers popped out on a 3-0 pitch, Mendoza drew a four-base walk, and the Knights somehow didn’t score, then was removed from the game by Silva after admitting to having discomfort in his core, which soon turned out to be an oblique strain. Brilliant. Jimmyboy, three days removed from 34 pitches in relief, would get ready as soon as possible from there, and Moses was also sent to the pen immediately to warm up behind him. Meanwhile, the Coons took a lead, as Schneider and Yocum singled to begin the bottom 1st. Katz fanned, Woodley loaded the bases with another single, and then Markovich hit a ball through the left side for a 2-run single. Brown hit an RBI single to center, but Etienne and Rivera then ended the inning with unproductive outs, so Jimmy took the hill with a 3-0 lead.

Beau Metz, who singled off everybody, singled off Jimmy in the second, but was left on base, and so was MacDonald with his leadoff single in the third. Instead, Katz, so far pretty much underwater in the series, tripled to lead off the bottom 3rd and then was immediately brought in by Woodley with another single, 4-0, but MacDonald then struck out the next three batters.

Jimmy ended up pitching four innings in long relief. Not one of them was clean, but the fourth was by far the stickiest one. Xavier Contreras led off by doubling, and the Otter batted for MacDonald and slapped an RBI single. A walk to Ehlers brought up the tying run with nobody out, but Jimmy hunkered down from there. He got a fielder’s choice from Mendoza in a full count, getting Ehlers removed at second, then popped out Soto. Troxel ran another full count before whiffing on the ninth pitch of the at-bat, leaving runners on the corners. These four innings cost Jimmy 70 pitches, and he then handed it off to McPartland, to clear the 7-8-9 batters in the bottom 6th (we were remarkably stingy with double-switching with the short bench…), and Moses would come in after that.

Hart tripled off McPartland, who plated the runner with a wild pitch after whiffing Metz, which was depressing and reduced the score to 4-2. Moses then walked Ehlers in the seventh, and Soto hit a long fly to right with two outs – but Markovich got the catch made on the warning track to end the inning…..! Moses then retired the 4-5-6 in good order in the eighth inning.

The Raccoons didn’t tack on, so Cecere got the 2-run lead against the bottom of the order in the ninth inning. Beau Metz homered right away after singling off everybody else with two legs and a tail, and now the cushion was gone. Contreras grounded out to Katz for the first out. Alex Barnes pinch-hit for the pitcher Mello, but struck out. Ehlers was the last out of the game for Atlanta – and struck out as well!

Raccoons 4, Knights 3 – Raccoons lead series 3-1

Woodley 2-3, RBI; Wharton 4.0 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 4 K, W (1-0); Moses 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 1 K;

Aldo was *probably* out for the season with the oblique strain, although a full evaluation would be made after the series (IF the Coons managed to win any of the next up-to-three games).

Down to a 23-man roster now…

Game 5 – Crispino D’Urso (17-6, 2.77 ERA) vs. Brett Bebout (16-6, 2.42 ERA)

The Coons went back to their Game 1 starter, who had done well until he didn’t, while the Knights skipped ahead to Bebout after their own Game 1 letdown.

We had burned both our starters-turned-long-men in Game 4, but most of the regular relievers were decently rested for this final home game of the series, although Cecere had been out three times in four days for 54 pitches, so a bigger lead would be appreciated.

The ceremonial first pitch was delivered by Olaf Olsen, the founder of Portland’s first sperm bank for street animals, and widely suspected pervert.

ATL: 2B Ehlers – RF D. Mendoza – CF Jo. Soto – LF Troxel – 1B Jer. White – C Hart – 3B B. Metz – SS X. Contreras – P Bebout
POR: CF Schneider – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – 1B Woodley – RF Markovich – C S. Brown – LF Etienne – 3B Rivera – P D’Urso

Crispy had issued more walks than strikeouts in the series opener, but struck out Mendoza and Soto after Ehlers’ leadoff single in Game 5, and Troxel grounded out. Troxel also bungled to pick up Markovich’ singles ball in the bottom 2nd that gave the Coons an extra base and allowed Woodley to score from second base after his leadoff double, and that put the first run on the board. Brown singled softly, putting runners on the corners with nobody out, but Etienne whiffed. Rivera hit a sac fly to center, 2-0, and with two gone, Bebout gave up singles to Crispy Bear and Schneider to load the bases, but then struck out Yocum.

Crispy struck out four across the first three innings, giving up a single in each of them. No runs though, and surely better than Bebout on short rest, who loaded the bases with the 3-4-5 batters and nobody out to begin the bottom 3rd. Sam Brown spanked a sharp grounder to the right side, but Ehlers made a dive for it, knocked it down, scrambled up and threw to first – and with no aim, pulling White off the bag when he had all the time in the world with Sam Brown running…! The error was for one base and as many runs, 3-0, but Etienne singled to left for two more and Rivera hit an RBI double to knock out Bebout. Harry Facteau popped out Crispy Bear, but then plated a run with a wild pitch, and another one on Schneider’s triple to center…! Yocum hit a sac fly, and Katz hit a double before Woodley grounded out to second to end the inning.

At the end of three innings, the Raccoons held a NINE-RUN LEAD, and Crispy looked reasonably sharp. What on the baseball gods’ white Earth with red stitching could go wrong now!?

Soto reaching on a throwing error by Yocum to begin the fourth shoulda taught be some decency, and then Troxel singled. White drove in a run with a hit to center, but Crispy then *labored* out of the inning, getting to 76 pitches in four innings, 34 in this one. But the Coons reclaimed the run right away as Markovich and Brown got on base against Duarte to begin the bottom 4th, and then Rivera hit a sac fly to right, 10-1.

Crispy Bear went six innings, never had a 1-2-3 one, but struck out seven and could have looked worse. He still held on to a 9-run lead, emboldening the Raccoons to go to Rule 5 Ron for length. His first pitch smushed Joel Ehlers’ wrist. Angelo Flores replaced him… Soto hit a 2-run homer in the inning, and Troxel and White got on base before Hart hit into an inning-ending double play. Rismiller next struck out bunting after Rivera led off the bottom 7th with a double. The Coons didn’t score from there, and he struck out Metz in the eighth, but then put Xavier Contreras on and was yanked. McMahan got a double play from the usual pinch-hitter, Alex Barnes. The Coons did nothing in their half of the eighth inning, but McMahan struck out Flores and Mendoza to begin the ninth. He ran a full count to Soto, who hit a fly to left – and Etienne clawed that one to send the Raccoons to the World Series!!

Raccoons 10, Knights 3 – Raccoons win series 4-1

Schneider 2-4, BB, 3B, RBI; Katzman 3-5, 2B; Woodley 2-5, 2B; Markovich 1-2, 2 BB, RBI; S. Brown 2-4, RBI; Rivera 2-2, 2 2B, 3 RBI; D’Urso 6.0 IP, 8 H, 1 R, 0 ER, 1 BB, 7 K, W (1-0) and 1-3; McMahan 1.2 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 2 K;

Huzzah!! For the first time since the 2054 championship season, the Raccoons would advance to the World Series!!

Without LeVan or Aldo (probably), but WITH Juan Licona!!

[Westheim]

2073 FLCS

The 2073 FLCS had the 109-53 Warriors enter the postseason as the best team in all of the ABL. They had done so on spectacular pitching, allowing just 544 runs across the season, with a starters’ ERA of 2.90. They had come fourth in offense, for a +236 run differential, despite hitting only 98 homers, third from the bottom in the FL. They had enough .300-ish hitters to fill a silo, but the only slugger, Jordan Lopez (.322, 25 HR, 101 RBI) entered the playoffs with a bum shoulder and would try to soldier on, officially being listed as day-to-day. Nobody else on the team had more than 13 home runs. Alex Diez (19-4, 2.22 ERA) and Harry Poteat (21-7, 2.73 ERA) fronted the rotation, and the bullpen was rock solid, with lethal weapons from either side. They looked very well rounded even though veteran starter Mike Bell and reliever Luis Olvera were going to miss at least the FLCS.

Opposite, the 97-65 Miners had the lowest win total in the postseason, but entered with the biggest margin over second place (19 games) in a lousy FL East. They had finished second in runs scored and third in runs allowed, but with only a +131 run differential. They had the best individual pitcher in the competition, maybe, as Brian Jones (21-8, 2.78 ERA) had executed 312 batters by strikeout this season (*down* from 335 the year before), but the rest of the rotation and pitching staff was decent, but not great. On offense, they had only one qualifying .300 hitter, Kris DiPrimio (.305, 15 HR, 84 RB), and only one guy with more home runs, Willie Cordova (.271, 17 HR, 92 RBI). The offense worked more on the principle of on-base, constant pressure, and tickling the other team to death with singles.

PIT @ SFW … 0-2 … (Warriors lead 1-0) … SFW Adam Quebbeman 2-3, RBI; SFW Alex Diez 8.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 7 K, W (1-0);

Diez and Matt Guadagno pitch a combined 1-hitter to knock the Miners to the ground in Game 1. Trent Taylor hits a single, and Pittsburgh brings only one guy over the minimum to the plate in the game.

PIT @ SFW … 5-3 … (series tied 1-1) … PIT Willie Romero (PH) 1-1, 2B, 2 RBI; PIT Kris DiPrimio 2-4, 2B; SFW Jon Schomer 2-4, HR, 2 RBI; SFW Devon Lewis 3-3, BB, HR, RBI;

The Warriors hit their home runs and take a 3-0 lead in the second inning, and Harry Poteat (0-0, 3.38 ERA) pitches seven scoreless before coming apart in the eighth. The Miners score all their runs in those last two innings to even the series.

SFW @ PIT … 0-7 … (Miners lead 2-1) … PIT Willie Cordova 2-4, 2B, 3 RBI; PIT Trent Taylor 3-4; PIT Tom Kies 9.0 IP, 8 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 7 K, W (1-0);

SFW @ PIT … 0-1 … (Miners lead 3-1) … SFW Jordan Lopez 2-4, 2B; PIT Roberto Pena 3-4, RBI; PIT Brian Jones 8.0 IP, 3 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 10 K, W (1-1);

SFW @ PIT … 12-5 … (Miners lead 3-2) … SFW David Jankowski 3-4, 2 2B, 4 RBI; SFW Adam Quebbeman 3-5, HR, 2B, 2 RBI; PIT Roberto Pena 3-4, 2B, 2 RBI; PIT Trent Taylor 2-3, BB, HR, RBI;

PIT @ SFW … 11-7 … (Miners win 4-2) … PIT Steve Humphries 2-5, BB, 3B, 3 RBI; PIT Willie Cordova 2-5, BB; PIT Kris DiPrimio 2-4, 2 BB, 2B, 2 RBI; PIT Trent Taylor 3-5, HR, 2B, 3 RBI; PIT Austin Gordon (PH) 1-1, HR, RBI; SFW Eddie Contreras 3-5; SFW Jordan Lopez 2-3, BB, 2B, 2 RBI; SFW David Jankowski 2-5, 3 RBI; SFW Raquel Estevens (PH) 1-1, RBI;

Both Tom Kies (1-0, 4.09 ERA) and Harry Poteat (0-0, 7.36 ERA) are battered out of the game for a handful+ runs in just a couple of innings in tit-for-tat assaults, before the Miners slowly pull away in the middle innings, while patching their own game together with multiple innings each from Dan Speake, Tony Gaytan, and Jimmy Giddings to advance to the World Series.

[Westheim]

2073 WORLD SERIES
Portland Raccoons (105-57) vs. Pittsburgh Miners (97-65)

The Miners were one of only two FL teams that the Raccoons had never met before in the World Series, the other one being the Scorpions. The Miners were also the only team in the entire league that had never WON a World Series!

To make sure this would remain one of those factoids fun for everybody outside that particular city and a 100-mile radius around it, the Raccoons had some work to do and that began with roster moves after the CLCS.

Both Phil LeVan (elbow) and Aldomiro Campion (oblique) were removed from the playoff roster. We still had five starting pitchers left, so no concerns there. In turn, we got Juan Licona back from the DL for the World Series, so that was obviously great.

Now, the rotation – the Miners leaned hard left with their lineup, so Jimmy Wharton would obviously fill the hole left by Aldo in the rotation, and we were considering whether it was worth aligning him and Bickerton in a way they could pitch four games in the series at the expense of Crispy Bear (who was not ready to pitch in the first two games in Portland anyway). Considering the left-handed tendency in the Pittsburgh lineup, the Raccoons wanted another left-handed pitcher, and despite being yoinked off the roster ahead of the CLCS, the Raccoons now added David Delgado back to it, preferring him still over Mike Pavan.

[Westheim]

2073 WORLD SERIES
Portland Raccoons (105-57) vs. Pittsburgh Miners (97-65)

For the first time in 19 years the Raccoons would host the World Series in trusty old Raccoons Ballpark, and while nominally they had won more games than the Miners, the task at paw was not an easy one, not only because the Miners right away would throw the man, the monster, Brian “Nuke” Jones on regular rest at them. The lineup perhaps lacked standout sluggers, but was dense from top to bottom (and they had a score of ex-Coons to spit in our food bowls, too!).

Left-handers, that remained our mantra. Gotta lean on our left-handers.

The Raccoons sorted Scott Bickerton to the front of the queue for pitchers in the World Series, while Nick Walla would get the second start here in Portland. After that it was likely that we’d go with Jimmy Wharton rather than Crispy Bear in Game 3.

These teams had met in the regular season, with the Raccoons winning two of the three games. Each team had scored 20 runs on the other. Perhaps my whole theory about pitching in this series was moot, as Jimmyboy Wharton had been at the front of a heavy 13-4 loss, getting stuck with nine runs, in May.

Game 1 – Scott Bickerton (17-10, 3.11 ERA) vs. Brian “Nuke” Jones (21-8, 2.78 ERA)

That 13-4 game had been started by Jones, who had struck out 312 batters this regular season, and another 19 Warriors in the FLCS. Jones was genuinely hard to beat, but he had given up 6+ runs four times this season, so sometimes the slider didn’t slide and the snapper didn’t snap, and we had two rolls of the dice for that in the series, probably, although the Miners were SO desperate for their first championship that they might pitch the 5-time defending FL strikeout king three times in this series.

I can not understate what a monster Jones was. He had 1,579 career strikeouts. He was 27 YEARS OLD.

Bickerton was not with the Raccoons at the time of that May series, and the Falcons didn’t play the Miners at all this year.

The first pitch was thrown out by Stu Loman, the first person to unicycle through all 49 contiguous states and survive the ordeal.

PIT: RF Humphries – 2B R. Pena – 1B DiPrimio – CF Cordova – SS Tr. Taylor – LF Meyer – 3B C. Castro – C W. Romero – P B. Jones
POR: CF Schneider – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – RF Licona – 1B Woodley – C S. Brown – LF Etienne – 3B Rivera – P Bickerton

The former Critters Steve Humphries and Roberto Pena were rounded up with strikeouts by Bickers to begin the game, but he walked Kris DiPrimio before getting a groundout from Willie Cordova. In the second, Trent Taylor, Mike Meyer, and Carlos Castro, and all the other alliterations, went down on groundouts. The Raccoons first got on base with Licona returning with a leadoff walk in the bottom 2nd, although Woodley then became the first punchout for “Nuke” Jones. Sam Brown singled to right, Licona dashed to third base, and we had runners on the corners for – well, how the **** did we get to the point where Jaylen Etienne (0 career homers) started a World Series game in the field!!?? He struck out, unsurprisingly, and Ronaldo Rivera popped out, ending the inning.

Bickers worked around a leadoff walk to Willie Romero in the third inning, then hit a leadoff single himself in the bottom of the inning. Schneider walked and was forced out by Yocum grounding one to the shortstop Taylor, and with runners on the corners *again*, Katz popped out behind home plate for the second out. Jones got Licona to 1-2, but no further. Licona caught up with the 1-2 pitch, and THUNDERED a 3-run home run to right-center!!! HUZZAH!!!

Two things from there; it started to rain, and Bickerton gave up a leadoff single to DiPrimio, a walk to Taylor, and singles to Meyer and Castro for two runs right away in the fourth inning before Romero popped out and Jones fanned. That entirely wasn’t how you’d want to go about a 3-0 lead with Jones on the mound for the opposition, and it only got worse. The Miners AGAIN had the leadoff man Humphries on base with a single in the fifth, and this time Bickers struck out Pena, flew out DiPrimio, but then gave up a 2-piece to Cordova with two outs, and the Miners took a 4-3 lead…

But you hadn’t seen nothing yet, because Bickerton went back out for the sixth, AGAIN put the ******* leadoff man on base, as he walked Meyer, and then gave up two singles, a run, and then, when faced with Jones, a 3-run homer to break the game wide open, 8-3.

The air was a bit out of the game from here, although Jack Moses at least got a couple of outs on the board without giving up more crooked numbers. Moses also hit a single in the bottom 7th, together with Schneider, who also got back on base, but Yocum lined out to short and Katz grounded out to short to let that chance pass. Jones was done after seven innings, having struck out only five Coons, but done plenty of damage otherwise. Hector Gomez batted for him and cranked a pinch-hit home run off Moses in the eighth. Woodley singled and was doubled up by Brown in the bottom 8th, and after a Woodley error put the leadoff man on base in the ninth inning, Delgado replaced Moses to finish out the game. Delgado SUCKED beyond words, got beaten up and around for another three runs, but that was like his ******* problem, as we preferred to keep the arms together for Game 2.

Miners 12, Raccoons 3 – Miners lead series 1-0

Schneider 2-4, BB, 2B; McFarland (PH) 1-1;

Game 2 – Nick Walla (12-8, 3.16 ERA) vs. Nate Freeman (16-9, 3.22 ERA)

All my schemes so far had been rather harebrained, and now we’d send in Walla for Game 2. He had given up five runs in a no-decision in May, but of course everything was much better aligned for him now. Surely. Hopefully. We also went back and put Markovich in leftfield for Game 2 against the right-handed Nate Freeman.

Freeman had actually pitched twice against the Critters this year, before being traded to the Miners from New York. He had gone 1-1 with a 4.80 ERA.

The ceremonial first pitch was thrown out by Trent Brassfield, who caught the final out of the 2054 World Series, a fly ball by the Warriors’ Jason Schaack, to seal a Raccoons title in five games. Hey, we’re still in the running for that!

PIT: 3B C. Castro – RF Humphries – CF Cordova – 1B DiPrimio – LF Meyer – 2B R. Pena – SS Tr. Taylor – C G. Rivas – P N. Freeman
POR: CF Schneider – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – RF Licona – 1B Woodley – LF Markovich – C S. Brown – 3B Rivera – P Walla

Castro singled to start Game 2, but Walla struck out two of the next three to keep him decent and from scoring. The Raccoons first reached base with back-to-back singles by Woodley and Markovich, who went to the corners with one out in the bottom 2nd, but Sam Brown hit the ball back to the pitcher, and Freeman had no troubles getting a 1-6-3 double play out of that one.

Gabe Rivas’ leadoff single and an error by Brown on Freeman’s bunt then put a pair on base to begin the third inning. Walla struck out Castro, but Humph hit a fly to deep left. Markovich bounced off the wall to catch that, but kept all his limbs intact, at least. Rivas made for third base on the play, but Markovich also caught Willie Cordova’s easier fly to left to keep them on the corners.

Walla hit a single in the bottom 3rd, but nobody cared, and then returned with a leadoff walk (…) to DiPrimio and a Pena single with one out. Taylor popped out to Licona in shallow right, but Rivas singled well past Yocum to drive in DiPrimio from second for the first run of the game. Walla had to get the last out from Freeman, and then issued ANOTHER leadoff walk to Castro in the fifth. He was forced out by Humph, who resisted pickoff attempts, and then the Miners filled the bases with an infield single by Cordova, and then a bloop single by DiPrimio, and perhaps that was the point at which I knew that we weren’t gonna hoist the trophy at the end of the series. The Coons snapped and sent Rios in to replace Walla after his 4.1 muddy innings, but Rios gave up a 2-run single to the previously .120 hitting Mike Meyer, and only then got two outs from Pena and Taylor. The Coons were down 3-0 in the middle of the fifth inning, and looked already pretty much cooked.

Rios batted for himself so he could remove the 8-9-1 batters in the sixth, which he very much didn’t. He got Rivas, then walked Freeman (!!), allowed a single to Castro, walked Humph, and then walked in a run against Cordova. McPartland replaced him and got a double play grounder from DiPrimio to end the inning in the 4-0 game. Yocum also hit into a double play after Schneider walked to begin the bottom 6th, which was a great way to ensure that it didn’t get any closer than 4-0 any time soon. Freeman then walked Katz as well, and then ran into a 2-run homer by Licona, 4-2!

After Woodley hit another single, and Markovich grounded out, McPartland collected three more outs. Freeman returned for the bottom 7th, but was knocked out on two pitches, which Brown and Rivera took for a single and double, respectively, and parked the tying runs in scoring position with nobody out. The Miners replaced Freeman with right-hander Jorge Sanchez, who popped out the pinch-hitting Ramon Mata, conceded a run on Schneider’s groundout, and then also popped out Yocum to leave the tying run on third base.

McMahan for the Coons, and Javier Arocho and Alex Nunez for the Miners allowed no runners in the eighth inning. We actually went to Cecere for the ninth, and he gave up a leadoff single to Humph, but then got three outs and kept the runner on base.

Bottom 9th, and another ex-Coon, Pedro Valentin, who had left Portland last summer with a 6.09 ERA and had since pitched to a 1.90 ERA for the Rebs and Miners, and who could just burn in ******* hell for all I cared. He struck out Markovich and popped out Brown before we tried another lefty bat against him, but Etienne just kept striking out, and the Coons sat at the bottom of an 0-2 soup.

Miners 4, Raccoons 3 – Miners lead series 2-0

Woodley 2-3, BB;

…

[Westheim]

2073 WORLD SERIES
Portland Raccoons (105-57) @ Pittsburgh Miners (97-65)

The Raccoons bade their ballpark farewell, and how things were going, for the season. Three games (maybe) in Pittsburgh were up next, and the Raccoons were still hellbent on sending out Jimmy Wharton for Game 3.

What could possibly even go wrong anymore from here?

Game 3 – Jimmy Wharton (14-9, 3.52 ERA) vs. Tom Kies (13-6, 3.68 ERA)

For the first time this postseason, we’d see a left-handed starter. Not that it changed MUCH about our lineup.

Jimmy had of course been run for nine runs in his start against the Miners in May, so the tactic by now was to make them feel safe, and then trip them up by sending out Rule 5 Ron in the second inning or something, I don’t know. Kies hadn’t faced the Critters in May.

POR: CF Schneider – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – RF Licona – LF Markovich – 1B Woodley – C Contreras – 3B Rivera – P Wharton
PIT: RF Humphries – 2B R. Pena – 1B DiPrimio – CF Cordova – SS Tr. Taylor – LF M. Meyer – 3B C. Castro – C W. Romero – P Kies

Kies walked three Critters in the first inning, and somehow we even scored with the help of a former friend even after Yocum made it two outs with a 6-4-3 grounder to erase Schneider’s leadoff walk. Katz walked, and Licona doubled to right, where Humph then threw badly to home plate, allowing Katz to score. Another walk to Markovich and a Woodley RBI single made it 2-0 before Contreras struck out. The Miners right away got leadoff knocks from Humph and Pena, though, and scored a run on Cordova’s sac fly in the bottom of the inning, so the Jimmy Wharton strategy DEFINITELY wasn’t working.

The Miners also had the first two batters on base in the second inning, and it was getting a bit ridiculous at this point. Meyer singled, Castro walked, and then Willie Romero made it three with a game-tying RBI single. Kies bunted, Humph lined out, and Jimmy couldn’t ******* field Pena’s grounder, which became an RBI single, and DiPrimio hit another RBI single after that. Cordova grounded out, but the Miners had turned the 2-0 deficit into a 4-2 lead in just two innings.

Licona’s daily homer made it 4-3 in the third inning before Wharton offered a leadoff walk to Taylor in the bottom of the inning. Meyer fanned and Castro hit into a double play, but that didn’t stop me from frothing from the mouth.

Pena doubled home Kies, who had singled (…) in the bottom 4th, 5-3, and that was the end for Wharton. Even Rule 5 Ron could then get four outs without tripping over his own ******* tail, but thankfully we wouldn’t get to a Game 7 anyway like this.

Neither team reached base in the sixth, as Delgado retired the bottom of the order, and Rivera drew a walk against Jorge Sanchez in the seventh, but nothing came of that as the Raccoons continued to trail by two runs. Chad Brown then doubled that with another useless outing in the bottom 7th, giving up straight hits to Pena, DiPrimio (double), and Cordova (RBI single), with a sac fly by Trent Taylor on top, before getting yanked. Rios came in, completely unhinged walked Meyer, and then somehow coaxed Castro into thinking there was a superior strategy to just standing there and taking another walk. He grounded out to second to end the inning.

Licona hit a 2-out single in the eighth that was only for the statistics, while in the ninth Javier Arocho got the 4-run lead, but allowed singles to Woodley and Rivera to bring in Valentin. Mata pinch-hit for Rios and struck out on a 3-2 pitch that hit home plate, and Schneider sent Humph all the way to the wall with a fly ball, but the catch was made, and the Raccoons were done.

Miners 7, Raccoons 3 – Miners lead series 3-0

Licona 3-4, HR, RBI; Woodley 2-4, RBI; Rivera 2-3, BB;

(buries face in paws)

(sobs)

Game 4 – Crispino D’Urso (17-6, 2.77 ERA) vs. Brian “Nuke” Jones (21-8, 2.78 ERA)

Turns out we *would* see the “Nuke” only twice in this series, but not in the way we had imagined. The Miners were lusting for that first championship, and had no time to waste. The Raccoons still didn’t know what was hitting them. We went back to our Game 2 lineup, not that that had given us any luck.

POR: CF Schneider – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – RF Licona – 1B Woodley – LF Markovich – C S. Brown – 3B Rivera – P D’Urso
PIT: 3B C. Castro – RF Humphries – CF Cordova – 1B DiPrimio – LF Meyer – 2B R. Pena – SS Tr. Taylor – C G. Rivas – P B. Jones

Humph hit a double in the first inning, but otherwise Crispy looked good enough in the early going, while Jones retired the first six Critters he faced, four by strikeout, before walking Sam Brown to begin the third inning. A wild pitch advanced the runner, but Rivera struck out, and Crispy grounded out meekly. Schneider got hold of a fastball, though, and put it into the seats for a home run and a 2-0 lead. Yocum and Katz, both batting in the .100s at this point for the playoffs, then hit a pair of singles, but Jones Nuked Licona, and that ended the inning.

The ******* ******** with putting on all the leadoff batters started in the third inning with a Rivas single, although he was left on base. In the fourth, Crispy Bear walked Cordova and gave up a single to DiPrimio to make it TWO on base to start the inning. Meyer grounded out, but Pena got through the right side for an RBI single, 2-1. Taylor struck out and Rivas popped out to end the inning and leave runners on the corners.

Through four innings, Crispy Bear had two strikeouts and Jones had NINE. Crispy became #10 to begin the fifth inning, but Schneider and Yocum then hit singles to get to the corners. Katz popped out, and Licona hit a fly to deep right. He missed his daily World Series homer, but the ball hit off the bottom of the wall for an RBI double, 3-1. 3-1 was also the count on which Woodley grounded out to short to end the inning.

The “Nuke” didn’t Jones another player until he came up to Crispy again, then ending the top of the sixth, while Crispy allowed another ******* leadoff single to DiPrimio in the bottom 6th. Pena also singled, but Katz got an inning-ending double play grounder from Trent Taylor to get him out of the inning.

Schneider (walk) and Katz (1-out single) were on the corners in the seventh inning, but Licona struck out against Jones, the 12th and final K for Jones in the game as he was then replaced with Alex Nunez for Woodley. The southpaw got the groundout and stranded the inherited runners. Crispy also left after 6.2 innings, but not on a high note. Instead a leadoff single (AAARGGHH!!!!) by Rivas and Castro’s 1-out double had shortened the score to 3-2. Humph’s groundout moved the tying run to third base, and McMahan was sent in for Cordova. The Miners sent Willie Romero to pinch-hit, and he hit a fly to right-center that was gonna dink in until Licona came flying out of nowhere and made a diving catch!!!

McMahan struck out in the top 8th so he could continue to pitch, with neither Rios nor Delgado being of any use to man nor beast, but gave up a leadoff single (visible blood vessels at the temples) to DiPrimio before getting stingy outs from Meyer and Norm Chapman. Wanting no part of the right-handed hitting Taylor, the Coons then intentionally walked him with first base open; the Miners had already burned their second catcher, and couldn’t bat for the left-handed Rivas anymore! Rivas flew out to left, and that ended the inning.

The Coons gained insurance in the ninth inning as Arocho put Schneider on base to begin the inning. He stole second, scored on Katz’ double, and a wild pitch, and – after Licona was walked intentionally – sac fly by Woodley got another run home.

So now we got to watch Cecere put not one but TWO ******* LEADOFF BATTERS ON BASE. Gomez singled, Castro walked, and then he started to strike out people. First Humph, then Ron Wilmes. DiPrimio hit the first pitch he got up the middle, but Katz was there and got the force at second base to keep the Raccoons theoretically involved in this championship.

Raccoons 5, Miners 2 – Miners lead series 3-1

Schneider 2-3, 2 BB, HR, 2 RBI; Yocum 2-5; Katzman 3-5, 2B, RBI; S. Brown 2-3, BB, 2B; D’Urso 6.2 IP, 8 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 3 K, W (2-0);

Game 5 – Scott Bickerton (17-10, 3.11 ERA) vs. Nate Freeman (16-9, 3.22 ERA)

Our pitching plans beyond Game 5 were in thorough disarray at this point, but there was no alternative to Bickers anyway in Game 5.

POR: CF Schneider – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – RF Licona – 1B Woodley – LF Markovich – C S. Brown – 3B Rivera – P Bickerton
PIT: RF Humphries – 2B R. Pena – 1B DiPrimio – CF Cordova – SS Tr. Taylor – LF Meyer – 3B C. Castro – C W. Romero – P N. Freeman

Game 5 started peculiar with Schneider reaching on an uncaught third strike, but the Coons never got the free runner off first base in the inning. The Miners got Pena on with a single in the bottom 1st, but he got doubled up, 3-U style, on DiPrimio’s liner to Woodley.

Bickerton got only one more out. The Miners began the bottom 2nd with a Cordova double, then got two singles from Taylor and Meyer to drive in a run. Bickerton balked in another after Castro grounded out. Romero singled home a run, 3-0, and a FOUR-PITCH WALK to THE ******* OPPOSING PITCHER made the kettle boil over. Moses was inserted, allowed a single to Humphries (noisy double-facepaw with groan!!), but then had both Pena and DiPrimio pop out to end the inning.

Rivera doubled and Schneider socked a 2-run homer in the third to get the score narrowed down to 3-2. Meyer tripled with two outs in the inning and Moses walked Castro before Romero flew out to Markovich… Moses continued to wobble around until he wore out his welcome, too, in the bottom of the fifth inning, giving up a leadoff double to DiPrimio, and then THREE WALKS to Cordova (who was caught stealing), Taylor and Meyer. The only card the Raccoons could play with Castro at the plate was McMahan. Under the watch of the left-hander, FIVE RUNS would score, and he didn’t get out of the inning. Castro singled. Romero singled. Freeman plated a run with a groundout. Humph singled. Pena singled. Each drove in a run. When Rule 5 Ron replaced him just to get out of the ******* inning, he plated Humph from third base with a wild pitch on his very first pitch.

I took the cue, and my hat, and left the suckers to their own devices. I left the ballpark, crossed the street, and entered the Irish pub right across from the house of sadness. Of course, they had the ******* game on TV there, too, but I could at least get proper beer to drink myself senseless and maybe even into a coma. I arrived just in time to see Katz hit a 2-run homer in the sixth that he should have saved for next season, because even with Yocum on base and with Rule 5 Ron having not ****** any additional runs onto the board, it was still a 9-4 blowout. Even Licona’s almost-daily homer only made it 9-5. And chased Freeman.

The Miners boldly brought on Tetsu Kurihara, perhaps one of the worst pitchers still somehow employed. He struck out four furred dimwits in two innings. Romero and Gomez hit singles against McPartland in the bottom 7th, but the Miners missed the final blow and let the Coons squirrel off again with their 4-run deficit. Katz singled off Alex Nunez in the eighth, but got no help from anybody else, and so that inning led nowhere.

Bottom 8th, Rios came in because they still had left-handed bats. He faced four batters, gave up four hits, a 3-run homer to Meyer included, and then departed again. On my fifth ale, I was past caring, even when Katz threw a ball away to plate another unearned run behind Chad Brown. What did it matter anymore?

Miners 13, Raccoons 5 – Miners win series 4-1

Licona 2-4, HR, RBI; Etienne (PH) 1-1;

(barfs into a bucket while crying and ordering another ale)

+++

2073 WORLD SERIES CHAMPIONS
Pittsburgh Miners
(1st title)