Yet Another OOTP6 Dynasty: The Pale Hose

[cknox0723]

Originally Posted by canadiancreed

no kidding the amazing thing is that Arizona signed him, I mean what the hell for?! If he cant make it with da Sox's, what makes you think he's any good for anything other than a batboy?

That being said I'd take him for my backup with my team that I took over recently. Worst cathchers ever.

And Toronto is .395?! Win you lousy bastards!

I have no idea why anyone would sign Piazza, but he's a "proven veteran", so I'm sure that's part of it. He's about as productive as a 42-year old Harold Baines, though. (Coincidentally, Baines hit .131 in 81 at-bats with the Pale Hose in 2001. Wonder what he'd hit in 2006?)

At this point, we're looking ahead not to the second half but to the trading deadline and to 2007, since the rest of this year is just playing out the string. Don't get me wrong -- I intend to have a ball "playing out the string", stretching and tugging and tying and untying it, but at the same time, we ain't getting to the playoffs. A few thoughts on what next year's outfit might look like:

WHO COULD BE GONE?

The gentlemen eligible for free agency after this season's contract runs out:

C Jason LaRue - Unless he comes back for less than a million, I don't see the point to keeping him -- though he's quickly grown on me. On my ideal club, he'd be the backup catcher and quixotic clubhouse quotester.

1B Brad Fullmer - Wants to play for a winner. How disappointing. Excuse me while I go cry a river.

SS Julio Lugo - I know he can't hit, I know he makes a lot of errors, I know he's hacktastic and he's overpaid even at the two million he's making now. But damned if I can't help but want to bring him back. The defense, and...ah, he's attached himself to the club, in my mind. But if we bring him back, make sure we don't also bring back...

3B Joe Crede - This is one area where we could get a lot of help just from a league-average type guy. Crede may sock a few homers, but he kills us otherwise, and I won't be sad to see him suiting up in next year in a uniform that provides a greater contrast to his pasty white skin tone.

LF Dmitri Young - He's going to want too much money...I'll say that without so much as an idea of what he wants. But I guarantee he'll want too much. He's just a league-average kind of hitter, after all, and how much value does that really have, especially in left field? Not enough to justify a good chunk of cash.

SP Mark Buehrle - Would. You. Like. A. Hummer. Mr. Buehrle? If there is one player we must retain, this is the guy. No matter the price? An excellent question -- if anyone wants to rattle off an amount they think Buehrle's worth, I'd certainly listen with ears open. But at this point, I'm willing to pay him just about anything he wants, for fear of a pitching staff without him.

SP Jon Garland - Moo. Moo. What was that, Jon? Yeah...don't let the door hit you on the way out, bud. Hope the spread in the Atlantic League doesn't give you heartburn...

A pitcher to replace Garland...a man to man the hot corner instead of Joe Crede, and an outfielder at or above D.Y.'s level. Perhaps even that wish list wouldn't get us much farther, and realistically, we'll need more than that. Another arm for the 'pen. A shortstop, whether it be Hacktastic Julio or someone not quite so violently spastic. A first baseman would help, too, though the stathead in me says that shouldn't be too difficult to find. It's probably a dream that we can get all of that, but maybe it'll work. Who knows?

I doubt on doing much at the trade deadline...really, who is there to trade? If I get the right offer for D.Y., I'd do that, if only because Jeremy Reed's still kicking around in AAA, but a .731 OPS from a pudgy left fielder isn't going to light the phones on fire.

And as for the minor leagues...it's still pretty barren, which makes me want to make a trade. You've got the trio of outfielders in AAA - Clint King, Brian Anderson, and Jeremy Reed, but none of the three are world-beaters. There's a handful of pitching prospects floating around, but we're still on this rebuilding track. In the meantime, all there really is to do is focus on the game at hand, because the future's still not very bright. Ah well, a few more years of last-place finishes and we should be OK, though, right?

I don't know. Ask Chuck LaMar what he thinks about that one.

[Luis_Rivera]

Originally Posted by cknox0723

Pedro has an ERA of 1.68, right in line with what he's done the last couple of years (in the game, of course -- because he's awful this year! HA! gah...sorry). Nasty little sub-1.00 WHIP, too. Luis Rivera would approve.

Haha... just noticed this...

...but seriously...

Low blow.

[cknox0723]

Originally Posted by Luis_Rivera

Haha... just noticed this...

...but seriously...

Low blow.

I know, I know. I sneak those in sometimes, just trying to up the number of replies in the thread, or something. But, hey...lousy Pedro or not, the Sox are still in the playoffs, right?

And if they...lose...this year, in a wide-open race, no one to blame but themselves.

And Aaron Boone! Bwahaha!

[gordyhulten]

Hell, at least you're not a Dodgers fan....

godd*mn f***in' Dodgers

[UngratefulDead]

Originally Posted by gordyhulten

godd*mn f***in' Dodgers

Seconded.

[Vris]

That sucks about Buehrle missing the ASG. But, it doesn't really mean much. He's still an all-star in my book, dammit!

Excellent halftime review show. I would suggest moving DY if you don't plan on resigning him. I'm sure you can get something for him. As for a price on Buehrle, it would probably be 8-10 mil. That also depends what he's making now, of course.

Another thing: You Yankee fans can stick it where the sun don't shine! I don't take lightly to you...enemies!

Keep up the great work Craig. Looking forward to the second half.

[cknox0723]

Thanks for the comments, gents. I agree with all of it -- even the crap about the Dodgers, my pick to win the World Series. (That's right, you heard it here first -- well, I probably stole it from John Kruk or someone, but what's he going to do?)

And the part about Yankee fans, too. Wackos, they are. I'd use that eyerolling smiley, but we'll need it later. You'll find out. Buckle up tight, here comes the second half...

Ah, first game of the new season. Well, if this was low class-A ball, it'd be a new season. Or would it? I never did really understand those first half/second half standings, anyway.

But back to the new season...we have four games at home against Oakland, but everyone's boy Buehrle isn't fully rested, so he's probably out. Maybe that Dag Rims guy was on to something with his vote in that poll, after all. So without The Buehrle One or Wild Thing, let us see how Schizophrenic Jorge feels today.

What, you expected Jon Garland?

We'll handle the devilish nonsense of Brett Tomko, who, likely because of these postseason races, I'm confusing with Dustin Hermanson right now. An odd pair to get mixed up, but let's forget that, for if we don't, this one will end up as long as the Super-Long Midseason Review (now with additional commentary!).

It's just not going to be our day, though. My button-pressing feels off, the temperature's eighty-something degrees (it probably is here, too, but ignore that), and we've got a sparse crowd of fourteen grand out to watch the first game of the new season. Feeling the bad vibes, Bad Jorge looks herky, jerky, and generally lousy from the get-go, but a nice play from Ramon Vazquez at second and the general suckiness pervading from Billy McMillon batting second aids him in getting the first two outs anyway. Eric Chavez steps up and hits a long home run, though, almost effortlessly, like Roy Hobbs or someone, and it's 1-0. Erubiel Durazo, the famed assassin, flies out to left on the first pitch of his at-bat, and we're through a half-inning, but I think we're going to get shut-out.

Sure enough, Hacktastic Julio strikes out to start the bottom of the first. Why was I blathering about him being any good? What was I thinking? D.Y. raps a grounder to second, and I'm thinking about trading him, just for the hell of it, even though I said I wouldn't. But Mark Ellis pulls a Knoblauch and D.Y. ends up on second. Maggs singles and just like that, we--

No. No. Our only All-Star, not that I'm bitter or anything, flies out to right on a 2-1 "fast" "ball". But Brad Fullmer (long live NYJuggalo!) triples into the right field corner on the same count that Maggs bit the dust on, and now we really are tied. Joe Borchard digs in to the left-handed batter's box, squeezing the bat, and whacks a high, outside slider from Tomko to the opposite field and through to left for a base hit. R-Vaz strikes out for the hundred thousandth time and it may be a comedy of errors, but we're winning. Golly, it's only the first inning. (Heh, that rhymed. God, I'm losing it. We needed a longer All-Star Break.)

Rain falls, DePaula can't grip the ball, and he walks Mark Kotsay to begin the second. Then, of course, a rain delay's called. Thanks, Tim Tschida, keep up the good work! After the tarp's unfurled, Kotsay, that rat bastard, takes off across the infield and slides into the mud puddle that is second base. So I stick my tongue out at Ken Macha and intentionally walk Eric Byrnes to bring up a couple guys hitting near the Mendoza line (We've heard this song before, I think) -- Jeremy Brown and Mark "Knoblauch" Ellis. The Jeans Salesman whiffs, and Steve Sax taps an 0-2 pitch to third...and Enrique bobbles it. Damn. Bases loaded, but DePaula, wonder that he is, does his little trick of metamorphosis, fanning his counterpart on three pitches and inducing Bobby Crosby to get quite a ways under a 2-0 slider and fly out to Maggs, ending the inning with our outfit still winning. It's...only...the...second...inning...though.

We give Oakland practice on pop-ups, of all things, hitting two of 'em in the bottom of the second and going down in order. DePaula is really in a groove in the third, though, sandwiching ground balls around a beautiful 2-2 fastball that Eric Chavez does a wonderful job of admiring.

Hacktastic Julio, devil that he is, strikes out for what could be the fortieth time to commence the bottom of the third, but D.Y. follows that display of ineptitude up with a stinging line-drive double down the right field line. And Maggs follows that up with a solid single to --

Wait, no, The All-Star grounds out to second, and this time Brad Fullmer has a more atypical at-bat, doing the same as Maggs, not the same as what Maggs should do. But at least Our All-Star knows how to make his outs productive!!1

I have a sickly feeling as Mark Kotsay steps in that his doubles numbers aren't quite right, and sure enough, he goes and whacks a two base hit. It's that frigging binomial theory probability crap, I bet. Eric Byrnes follows that up with a towering four base hit, and now we're down a run. I'm going to go hide my head somewhere. Somehow, while I do that, we get out of the inning.

Enrique Wilson thwacks a two-out double in our portion of the fourth, and the numbnuts pitch to Jason LaRue. Who strikes out. Ah, regression to the mean. Damn him. Damn him and his career .231 batting average.

Apparently Tejada (that's Crosby, by the way, and I don't know what the hell it means, either) fires a single to left as if out of a cannon, but Billy McMillon decides to sacrifice. Not even doing that right, he sacrifices Crosby's place on the basepaths instead, and then Chavez Ravine and Durazo Ruby both forget how to hit, striking out in sequentially ugly fashion. I smell a momentum swing coming...

Feeling it, really feeling it, I pinch-hit for DePaula in the bottom of the fifth, calling on The Big Hurt. He grounds to third. Lugo, that goof, strikes out on three pitches...(boy, he's been indescribably horrible today), and D.Y. does him one better. Well, in the sense that he makes Tomko throw one more pitch before grounding out. Yeah, momentum swing.

P.J. Bevis, my boy, comes on for the sixth more out of default than anything, but lefty Mark Kotsay singles and then Byrnes and his California good looks and appeal strike again, like Wes Parker or someone, as he hits another two-run home run. Two batters later, Mark Ellis and his .191 average go yard, and I hit my head on the keyboard and just sigh for a moment. Somehow, we get out of the inning without pitching changes nor changes in the medication that I'm apparently taking. Momentum swing, damn it! Momentum!

Down four in the sixth, what d'you do? If you're the Pale Hose, start raking, baby. Maggs actually lives up to his status as our Exalted One (Our Buddha? I like that! ) with a leadoff hit, and then Brad Fullmer singles to give us runners at the corners. A comeback, perhaps? And Joe Borchard hits a screaming line drive...right at Bobby Crosby. It's all we can do to not get doubled off. R-Vaz falls into a two-strike hole, and I can just see us squandering the inning away, but instead of striking out...

He fouls pitches off. First one, then another, and another. Five all told. Finally, Tomko makes a mistake 3-2 pitch, and the Ramon Vazquez of May whacks it to the left-center field gap. Fullmer gets the stop sign at third, but it's a run-scoring two-bagger and we might just have some life. Then Enrique takes two pitches wide and 14,000 fans can feel it coming. "It", of course, being a fly out to center on the next pitch, but it's deep enough to get us another run. Jason LaRue gets a 3-0 count in his favor and the smell of anticipation cuts through the air...but a fastball down the heart goes for a strike one, and a perfectly placed changeup goes for number two. With a full count, LaRue meekly pops out on an 88 mph heater, and suddenly it smells like cheese, for whatever reason. But we're alive, if barely.

The dynamic duo of Bevis and Mike Gallo gets the trio of boppin' lefties out in order in the seventh, and as right-hander Chris Mears comes on for the seventh, I look at our crappy bench and with Kotsay leading off the next inning for the Athletics, I let Gallo hit. And wouldn't you know it -- he whacks a hard ground ball...but right to Mark Ellis. Would have been something, though. But Hacktastic Julio (have I mentioned my love for him lately?) slaps a single, and D.Y. rips one to right. Runners at the corners! Lead run at the plate! And it's Our Token All-Star!

Oh God, he's going to hit into a double play...

"Ordonez digs in against the sidearming former Detroit Tiger Chris Mears...from the stretch, the right-hander checks both runners, nods at Jeremy Brown, and comes to the set. Ordonez squeezes the bat tightly, stares intensely as Mears winds himself around and here it comes..."

####! Don't swing, damn it, don't swing...!!!

"Slider and it's lined...past a diving Chavez and down into the left field corner! That'll score Lugo, and Young will...be held at third as the throw comes in, too late to get Ordonez. An RBI double, and the Oakland lead is down to one!"

That's why he's our All-Star!!!!!

Left-handed Brad Fullmer is walked intentionally to face "switch"-"hitter" Joe Borchard, but they leave Mears out there instead of bringing in a lefty to face good ol' 6-61. After a fastball high for ball one, Mears' second pitch is but a mere spectre of a ball, or so it appears as Jeremy Brown forgets to catch the ball and the little white pill ricochets to the backstop. D.Y. scampers home, and we are tied up!!

Borch is intentionally passed after that, loading the bases again, and on comes the bowels of their bullpen in the form of Brian Bowles. Of course, Ramon Vazquez hits a tailor-made double play ball on Bowles's first pitch of the game, and I feel like sh*tting in my mouth. Sorry. Had to be said. At least we're tied, though.

Gallo does what I saved him for (remember that? letting him hit? good, 'cause I don't...), retiring Mark Kotsay, the lefty, to start the eighth, but Aki Otsuka comes on and promptly pisses all over everything. Eric Byrnes ropes a single, possibly his thirtieth hit of the game. Jeremy Brown stares at a close 3-2 pitch, and it's called ball four. Someone named Michael Rouse pinch-hits. He's a lefty. Where is Mike Gallo now? I send Jamison Bryan out there, tell him to slap Otsuka and somehow convince him to attack, attack, attack, but the language barrier is too much. Rouse rouses me out of whatever state I'm in by hitting a sharp ground ball up the middle, but Ramon F***ing Vazquez makes a backhanded stop, takes it to second himself, and rifles it to first for an inning-ending double play. Too many emotions here...help me...

Enrique Wilson, Relief Ace draws a walk to start whatever inning we're somehow in, and that brings on the non-bowels of the Oakland bullpen as they screw with my strategy, bringing in screwballing Jim Mecir. "Screw that," the quixotic Jason LaRue says to me before leaving the dugout for the batter's box, "I'm going yard". He's Jason LaRue, though, and instead he hits a double-play ball...that Enrique turns into a fielder's choice ball by taking out Bobby Crosby with a perfect slide. Golly, Enrique is the man! That brings up the pitcher's spot, and on a stupid whim, I tell Juan Uribe to stop clinging to my leg and grab a bat. Lo and behold, my LaRussian management pays off as Uribe strokes a single, giving us runners at first and second with one out for -- oh no. Hacktastic Julio. And you just know he's going to be hackin' away, too...

"One ball and no strikes to the right-handed Lugo. Mecir steps back for a moment, staring in at Jeremy Brown but not on the rubber. He nods, then steps back on. Lugo grips the bat tightly, wags it around as Mecir brings his hands together, finally ready. A quick look at the runners, and the pitch is a fastball, hacked at awkwardly and looped into center field and it's going to drop! LaRue's coming around third, Kotsay's coming home, the throw and LaRue is...SAFE! He's SAFE, in under the tag, and both runners will move up as Brown's throw back to second won't be in time to get Lugo! This play started with a fastball up around Julio Lugo's chin, and it ends with the lead in the hands of the Pale Hose and two men in scoring position! Unbelievable..."

D.Y. hits a weak bouncer to the clutches of the drawn-in infield for out number two, and All-Star Magglio Ordonez raps a shot to short that Bobby Crosby fields...and wings into the dugout. No, it's not quite Maggs's ability that did that, but if he were Ichiro!, I could pretend it was, so I'll do it anyway. That's why he's Our All-Star! Both runs score, and that's all we need as Mercurial Kiko fires off bullets in the ninth, pitching a perfect inning and giving us a win to start off the second half in absolutely wonderous fashion.



OAK 6 CHW 9

WP: A. Otsuka (4-3) - thanks, R-Vaz, keep up the fine defense!
LP: J. Mecir (5-2) - I have a feeling Bobby Crosby's going to be carrying someone's luggage for quite some time
S: K. Calero (2) - the way he pitched, give him a save -- two strikeouts and a ground ball

Game Ball Goes To... Eric Byrnes, who we don't fare well against. You expected Julio Lugo, perhaps? Who else does it go to, Juan Uribe? How about the Elephants' bullpen, for being lousy enough to let us back in the game? Works for me!

[gordyhulten]

Originally Posted by cknox0723

Of course, Ramon Vazquez hits a tailor-made double play ball on Bowles's first pitch of the game, and I feel like sh*tting in my mouth.

Now, see, it's writing like this that keeps bringing me back...



Nice win. I sense a 42-game winning streak in your immediate future.

[Vris]

It's those kind of games that just gotta make you smile and say, "the Gods do kinda sorta enjoy my company."

Excellent game Craig! That's how you start the second season! (only, at this point, SportsCenter has relegated to just showing a homerun and the score from your game...but it's a win dammit!)

[BadluckinOOTP]

Originally Posted by cknox0723

. (That's right, you heard it here first -- well, I probably stole it from John Kruk or someone, but what's he going to do?)

Eat You.

[UngratefulDead]

Yeah, OT sucks. Waiting for more installments of this to distract me from that whole mess

[cknox0723]

Originally Posted by gordyhulten

Now, see, it's writing like this that keeps bringing me back...

Nice win. I sense a 42-game winning streak in your immediate future.

Thanks!!! I think that is definitely the appeal of this thread -- what 'that' is, though, I don't know. And why stop at 42?!

Originally Posted by Vris

It's those kind of games that just gotta make you smile and say, "the Gods do kinda sorta enjoy my company."

Excellent game Craig! That's how you start the second season! (only, at this point, SportsCenter has relegated to just showing a homerun and the score from your game...but it's a win dammit!)

Ha...y'know, with each passing game, I realize that my impact (and that of a manager in general) is smaller and smaller...but boy, it's great to be along for the ride when you're winning games like that.

I wonder what the highlight reel would have been like in that 25-1 loss way back when. That's what OOTP:SI needs -- highlight reels!

Originally Posted by BadluckinOOTP

Eat You.

John Kruk? Eat me? Well, he won't fit into his suit-and-jeans if he does that!

Actually, I was going to say that I liked John Kruk, but...well...

Originally Posted by John Kruk

I think Boston. Their pitching is too good. Schilling and Pedro [Martinez]. [Tim] Wakefield pitches good in the postseason. Plus, they can score runs. In the NL, I think the Cardinals - they're just too strong. They play the game right every night.

Oh, Rob Dibble, where art thou? Actually...Dibbs is such an arrogant, condescending jackass, I'd rather listen to Kruk, who actually seems like a nice guy...until he eats me, that is.

Originally Posted by UngratefulDead

Yeah, OT sucks. Waiting for more installments of this to distract me from that whole mess

I'd be shocked if there's anything left of OT in a couple of days...it's got to be like Chernobyl in there. I'm not too keen on turning my skin green, so I think I'll avoid it, too.

Thanks for all of the comments, gents.

[cknox0723]

Mark Buehrle's back on the pitching schedule, and though we could give him some extra rest since most everyone else is also ready, The Buehrle One is in a ridiculous groove, tallying a miniscule 0.88 ERA in his last four starts. In other words, he'd most definitely have one of those "Hot-or-Not" polls where about three people vote because the question's not even worth asking.

A quick financial update, as Ozzie Guillen and...(who's our hitting coach?)...Jacob Safdie break out the scouting report on Ryan "Tottle" Mottl. Ah, finances -- I can hear the yelps of joy now, but calm down for a second.

Calm? OK...just thought it would be wise to note that our income, about $42.5 million, has already covered our payroll, which is just under $42 million. Now, I'm no businessman, I don't play one on TV, and I didn't stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night, but...that sounds good. Considering we lost $6 million last year, at least we've done something sort of well this year, even if it hasn't necessarily been on the baseball side of things.

But recently, that's been going fine, as we've won our last three games amidst the All-Star break and ballyhoo. And I'm much, much too wise in my old age to actually have confidence...but Bobby Kielty's batting cleanup for the Elephants. He's hitting .208. He hit .274 last year...with a .367 slugging percentage. Decide the significance of that for yourself...(and no, I am not going to mention Brad Fullmer's slugging percentage)...

Hey, 19,000 plus in the seats today! Instead of the Nolan Ryan effect, we've got the Mark Buehrle effect. That's actually another one of those neat little OOTP features that you never really notice unless a dope like me says something about it.

You know what an even neater feature is? An ace pitcher. Buehrle's slider is biting and his fastball's hopping, and what might just be a record crowd for us this year gets the treat of a four-pitch strikeout of leadoff hitter Bobby Crosby and a pair of weak ground balls in the top of the first for a nice, quick, easy inning for The Buehrle One.

Hacktastic Julio hits a slow ground ball to short on Ryan Mottl's very first pitch, and Apparently Tejada's throw just nips him. I'm given the option to argue, but darned if I'm going to get thrown out for Julio Lugo. The team gets deflated, though, or something, because D.Y. flies out on the first pitch he sees (he hit the ball well, but "fly out" flows better...work with me here), and Buddha Ordonez whiffs.

Buehrle keeps a handle on things in the second, allowing a two-out line drive single to the main character of the Beane biography Moneyball, Nick Swisher, and promptly allowing a steal of second. "Wait," you're probably thinking, "How is that 'keeping a handle on things'?"

Well, it's not. But don't worry -- this is Oakland, after all, and if you'll remember, half their lineup is hitting .200. Today's lousy hitting catcher, Damian "Scab on the Knee" Miller, promptly fans, and the inning's in the books. Like I said, our boy Buehrle's got a handle on it.

In the bottom of the second, Tottle starts pitching like the punching bag he is, throwing a couple of lousy pitches and then a fat one to Brad Fullmer, and our all-too-eager first baseman rips the 2-0 changeup to center field for a base hit. I think about having Fullmer steal second, mostly because I'm bored. Instead, I let Joe Borchard hit, and irony of ironies, Borch gets the same count, and his hack at a similar lousy changeup results in a double play ball. Way to go, Borchy! Ramon Vazquez keeps the inning going with a double (maybe he should bat fifth instead?), but Enrique bounces out to first, and we come away with nuttin'. Plenty of time, though.

Plenty of time, especially when Buehrle's got the bottom of the order and -- what's that? A one-out hit by the pitcher Mottl, who was 1-29? Well...no matter, as Buehrle gets a couple bouncers to our effervescent shortstop. But watch out for the always-dangerous heart of the Oakland order next inning, featuring powerful cleanup hitter Bobby Kielty!!1

Jason "Junebug" LaRue falls into a 1-2 hole to start the third inning, and as Mottl winds up for his fourth pitch of the inning, I realize that after LaRue strikes out, he'll be hitting under .260. What has happened, Fair Mime? I guess he's just not any good...too bad. Oh...Mottl leaves a curveball up in the strike zone and LaRue whacks it into the left-field corner for a two-bagger. Up to .275.

Buehrle steps up and prepares to sacrifice, but Oakland's ready for it, and the bowling ball-shaped LaRue gets cut down at third. I'm almost ready, after all of this nonsense, to really do something crazy, like throw some bats on the field or something (that'd do a lot of good, I think), despite my rather collected demeanor, but Hacktastic Julio steps in, gets ahead in the count (a feat in and of itself, of course), and gets a meatball, which he hits well to left. Physics takes care of the rest, and Nick Swisher's leap at the wall proves to be in vain. It's the Violently Hacktastic One's fifth long ball of the year, and we've got our runs anyway. So much for my Lloyd McClendon impersonation. And Lugo, that devil, must have hit the scoreboard or something, because the in-game scoreboard changes color to some weird shade of red. And all the pictures disappear. Crazy. Psychedelic, or something. Amidst all that, our big guns go down rather quietly, but we're up two.

The 90 pixel by 135 pixel black rectangle representing Mark Buehrle's mug pitches a perfect fourth, apparently unaware that his parallel universe has turned into some bizarre sci-fi flick like Hollow Man. (Worst. Movie. Ever. And I will like almost anything, since I don't watch many movies. I digress...) Tottle Mottl throws about five pitches in the bottom of the fourth, but Buehrle continues in like fashion in the fifth, throwing that hard, sharp breaking slider and that nasty darting, sneaky fastball.

Jason LaRue leads off the bottom of the fifth, gets himself in a rather quick two-strike hole, but eventually works the count full. And Mottl makes a grave error on the payoff pitch, "challenging" LaRue with an 88 mph "fastball". The Mime takes his big, long cut, connects and drives a solid shot to left-center. It's not quite a no-doubter, but Mark Kotsay sure doesn't have to feign much of an effort. LaRue's finally got his first home run in the Pale Hose, and it's 3-nil. Despite a (gasp) walk to Julio after an ugly Buehrle whiff on a breaking ball, we don't threaten in the remainder of the inning. Neither side does in the sixth, as the only runner over the frame is Joe Borchard, who doesn't move from first after a four-pitch walk. Buehrle's around 70 pitches entering the seventh.

"One ball, two strikes to Chavvy, A's down three-nothing here in the top of the seventh. The southpaw Buehrle nods in at LaRue, settles himself on the mound. Eric Chavez wags the bat a bit, slightly crouched in the left-handed batter's box. Buehrle starts his wind, and here's the offering, slider ripped and -- OH! A diving grab by Ramon Vazquez on a screaming line drive to his right! Watch the highlight reels tonight for that one!"

That screaming shot's a precursor of something, though as Bobby Kielty gets his revenge by following with a solo home run, ending Buehrle's shutout. However, the left-handed Erubiel Durazo bounces out weakly, and Buehrle settles back down and sets down Nick Swisher on a chopper to short.

Jason LaRue leads off the seventh after some people buy some Cracker Jacks, and he doesn't fall into a two-strike hole. Predictably, he doesn't get an extra base hit (of course), but LaRue's perfect day continues as he lines a single to center for his third hit. Up next is Buehrle. Easy call to pinch-hit, right? Well...he's thrown 84 pitches. He's our ace, MVP, and all that. And most everyone in the 'pen pitched yesterday.

So I let him "hit", and this time, Buehrle executes the sacrifice perfectly, putting LaRue in scoring position. That sets Hacktastic Julio up to do exactly as you'd expect -- swing at a 3-1 pitch and ground out to third. Don't be silly, you knew he'd do that, too. D.Y. follows with a screaming shot to right field, though, on the first pitch from sidearmer Chris Mears, and we're up three once again. Buddha hits a comebacker, and the inning ends, but we need a mere six outs.

Coming back out for the eighth, Buehrle fans Scab On The Knee for his eighth 'K' of the game, but pesky Mark Ellis, who's got to be the most annoying .197 hitter ever, lines a single over short. With the pitcher's spot up, the dangerous Eric Byrnes, who was 3-3 yesterday, pinch-hits. Buehrle nibbles, falls behind, and runs the count to 3-1. "He's going to walk him and give up a three run homer", I think, but do nothing other than get Mike Gallo warming alongside Joe Roa. Byrnes flies out on the next pitch, and with the count full and the carousel in motion, Bobby Crosby swings right through a devilish four-seamer to end the inning.

That, as they say, is an awfully big swing of the old pendulum, and I'm just feeling that it's a matter of who's going to get the last three outs, not how or if. I send The Buehrle One out there after we scuffle through our half of the eighth, and he fans lefty Mark Kotsay on three pitches. Chavvy hits a wormburner to third that Enrique handles deftly and guns across for out number two, and the count goes full to fearsome cleanup hitter Bobby Kielty. The fans come to their feet as Buehrle starts his windup, and ten seconds later, it's a chorus of "YEAAAAH!!!" as Kielty swings through yet another slider for yet another strikeout and yet another win for The Ace. Not to be overly exuberant or anything, but anyone else thinkin' 'bout Steve Carlton?



OAK 1 CHW 4

WP: M. Buehrle (11-5) - CG, 4 H, 1 R, 0 BB, 11 K, 115 pitches (Or Randy Johnson. Or Johan Santana, to use the up-to-the-minute comparison.)
LP: R. Mottl (6-5) - 6.2 IP, 6 H, 4 R, 3 BB, 4 K (somewhere in between "he pitched better than that" and "that doesn't really reflect how hard we hit him")

Game Ball Goes To... It was far too dominant of an outing to give it to anyone else, but Jason LaRue had a fine, fine day and at least deserves a mention. The Buehrle One cannot be denied of anything, though. Out-standing.

[gordyhulten]

Awesome start by The Buehrle One! Any chance my Wranglers could borrow him for a few seasons?

That's 4-in-a-row, right? Only 38 more to go...

[canadiancreed]

I'd be shocked if there's anything left of OT in a couple of days...it's got to be like Chernobyl in there. I'm not too keen on turning my skin green, so I think I'll avoid it, too.

I concur, reminds me of HS politics too much for my liking

[canadiancreed]

WP: M. Buehrle (11-5) - CG, 4 H, 1 R, 0 BB, 11 K, 115 pitches (Or Randy Johnson. Or Johan Santana, to use the up-to-the-minute comparison.)

Holy crap! What got in his wheaties?!

[cknox0723]

Just had a post eaten, too. As if this wasn't enough...

But our last win apparently came at a bit of a cost. Not quite, but Ray Butner, our second round pick this year and ace relief prospect, got shelled again in another appearance in AA, to bring his line at the level up to the following:

3.1 IP, 5 H, 6 R, 5 BB, 3 K

Ugh.

Chris Scarborough, first round pick and certifiable ace in the making, had his second start at AA and was rolling along...until the second inning, where he apparently hit his head on the top of the dugout.

Seriously. He's got a concussion. He's been concussed. Out for a week or two, but who knows, really?

Ah, well...'least it isn't his arm. And hey -- no worries! We've won four in a row...

How does five sound?

[canadiancreed]

Originally Posted by cknox0723

Just had a post eaten, too. As if this wasn't enough...

But our last win apparently came at a bit of a cost. Not quite, but Ray Butner, our second round pick this year and ace relief prospect, got shelled again in another appearance in AA, to bring his line at the level up to the following:

3.1 IP, 5 H, 6 R, 5 BB, 3 K

Ugh.

Chris Scarborough, first round pick and certifiable ace in the making, had his second start at AA and was rolling along...until the second inning, where he apparently hit his head on the top of the dugout.

Seriously. He's got a concussion. He's been concussed. Out for a week or two, but who knows, really?

Ah, well...'least it isn't his arm. And hey -- no worries! We've won four in a row...

How does five sound?

Ever noticed that pitching prospects start out as great 5 stars cant misses, but by the time they hit the majors, they're 1 star cant hit (or pitch, or field)

[Vris]

Excellent victory for the Pale Hose Faithful. Buehrle looked exceptionally sharp, as he has in last few outings. Whatever he's been smoking, he needs to share some in the clubhouse.

The Street is really making a case for Sausage, Peppers, and Onions to be cut in Spring Training. What's that? You're past the All-Star break? Well......

Don't worry about your prospects. It's going to be okay. It really is. Just let Butner get settled in for a season or two. You just drafted them in June dammit!

Great Work Craig.

[cknox0723]

Originally Posted by Vris

Excellent victory for the Pale Hose Faithful. Buehrle looked exceptionally sharp, as he has in last few outings. Whatever he's been smoking, he needs to share some in the clubhouse.

The Street is really making a case for Sausage, Peppers, and Onions to be cut in Spring Training. What's that? You're past the All-Star break? Well......

Don't worry about your prospects. It's going to be okay. It really is. Just let Butner get settled in for a season or two. You just drafted them in June dammit!

Great Work Craig.

Aye, yes, I agree. Good point...sure feels like these pitching prospects have been around more than a month, though. Oh, and your comment about LaRue made me laugh. Funniest part is, we could have had LaRue since spring training, for next to nothing...but better late than never, definitely.

Thanks for the rest of the comments, too. Oh, and Gordy...if you're willing to give up the left side of your infield, I think we've got a deal. Long as you get me German Torres, too.