Yet Another OOTP6 Dynasty, Year 2: One Flew Over the Pale Hose

[cknox0723]

We've picked up some All-Star players already in Wells and Podsednik and some other seasoned pros. This is the ballclub we're going to win with.

That statement doesn't necessarily imply that it will apply to the August first rubber match of a three-game set with Minnesota, but it turns out to be the case anyway. And why not? I suppose it helps that the Twins are throwing their fifth starter in Neil Cotts (6-3) against our man, Jon Garland, whose 12-5 record compares with anyone in the American League.

It also helps that Cotts is throwing meatballs by the second inning. So fat and juicy are these meatballs that a left-handed Scott Podsednik is able to ignore which hand the meatball came from and instead focus on pummeling it over the right field fence. With all the trouble Cotts had already gotten himself into, of course that home run wasn't a solo shot, nor were those runners the only ones to touch home that inning. 4-0 Chicago heading into the bottom of the second. Jon Garland's only thrown seven pitches, and look at the lead.

Second sacker Mike Cuddyer takes a good cut at a four-seamer and cracks it into right to give the home half a baserunner for the bottom part of the order. Then "Jon Moo" throws a couple of lousy pitches to center fielder Torii Hunter, but that pales in comparison to his seventh pitch of the inning, one right in Hunter's wheelhouse that gets driven out of the house like a termite-infested family. Jon Garland's only thrown seven pitches this inning, and look what he's done.

Somehow the boy gets through the rest of the inning OK, something that the 26 year old southpaw Cotts would love to have said about the third. Wil Cordero cracks a one-out double for his second hit in two innings, and then we walk on. An otherwise harmless Jack Wilson fly ball is able to bring home Cordero because of all those walks, leading Cotts to an unceremonious slouched-shoulder walk to the dugout. His pitching line is maybe even more unceremonious and slouched - 2.2 IP, 5 H, 4 BB, 5 R, 2 K, 64 pitches (34 strikes). I don't think it would have helped if he threw more strikes, either.

But the same can be said for Garland, who's doing less damage by not throwing strikes. Like the uninhibited houseguest who rummages through your cupboards and has a particular problem with Mike Cuddyer, Garland's giving back runs as fast as we can score 'em. I guess the walks aren't much helping, either. The lead's down to one by the time three frames are in the books, but at least Torii Hunter struck out this time.

If I could put that moment in a bottle and save it forever, I would, 'cause it would've came in handy. A single and swipe of second by spectacular Scotty starts something sweet in the sfourth sframe, and second baseman Adam Kennedy's base knock gives us a little more cushion. Uh, scushion. The cushion is still the same by the time the fifth inning rolls around, but a single by Wil Cordero and a single by Frank Catalanotto shift things around a little bit. Miguel olivo succeeds at sacrificing the guys over, but without the nasty bloodshed and ritualistic aspects. The bottom of the order disappoints, but even a terrible team get a run home after getting a couple of guys in scoring position so quickly. We can, too. Spectacular Podsednik strikes out looking to end the inning, but maybe he was shooting some beaver. With a 7-4 lead, who could blame him?

But show me a guy who's lost so many productive ballgames to the vapid cesspool that is Milwaukee, and I'll show you a guy who should know better. Jon Garland had his share of struggles in the first few innings, but once upon a time the boy entered in a won-lost ledger of four and fifteen, and look where he is now.

Back where he started. In the bottom of the fifth, "Moo" tosses cowpies, not baseballs. I guess you could expect it with the middle of the order up, some good hitters in veteran 3B Koskie and .300 hitting SS Cintron and hulking LF Lee. But it's walks that get Garland in trouble, three miserable bases on balls that load the bases. Then one lousy pitch to Torii Hunter does more damage than it ever should. It's a completely innocuous grand slam to left field, but one so out of left field that I didn't really believe it even as the ball was soaring.

After a Joe Mauer double off the base of the center field fence, Garland strikes out right fielder Byrnes and first baseman Fullmer to end the inning. It's only eight-seven in favor of the ****ing Twins, but the deficit may as well be twenty. Both bullpens go into shutdown mode the rest of the way, eliminating even the thought of a baserunner for either side. The fine three innings from relievers Otsuka and Bevis are a testament to the benefits of strikethrowing; as for our guys, I can't really say I blame 'em for not pulling off (12.) The Comeback.

I just hope it's not the start of the old and tired song. I remember these sort of losses like they happened yesterday, and it's real easy to think that one will lead to many. I'm terrible with that **** all across my life; maybe you are, too.

But this is a different ballclub. Can't judge it by yesterday.

[zukes]

Originally Posted by cknox0723

A single and swipe of second by spectacular Scotty starts something sweet in the sfourth sframe,

Excellent alliteration dude!

[cknox0723]

An off-day in the beginning of August while in first place is baseball's equivalent of taking a big bite out of summer. I have been buying quite a bit of a watermelon recently, even though I am more of a banana or pear guy. Watermelon is a very summery fruit, you know.


Toronto spit out the seeds in their melon a few days ago, thereby avoiding choking on them unlike someone I won't mention. Then for good measure they pickled the watermelon rinds the next day.

Despite being Canadian and therefore dull, the Jays are the clear winners of this year's Trade Deadline Extravaganza (TM), having significantly beefed up a pitching staff that had relied on an extraordinary number of soft-tossers behind incomparable ace Roy Halladay, who will now remain up north for quite sometime after signing a long extension similar to the five-year, fifty-million shekel deal our ace Buehrle inked last year.

Toronto sent away a useful outfielder in 26 year old Laynce Nix (.282/.326/.444 in 365 AB); when you consider that their center fielder Alex Rios is hitting .202, you wonder if perhaps they're trading the right guy. But Nix is not a patient hitter and not really a source of power, and very rapidly, his salary's going to rise rapidly. This was the time to move him, and the return from the queenly New Yorkers was massive - a control artist with a 3.82 career ERA, right-hander Jae Seo, and the hard-throwing southpaw that the organization so desperately needs in 22 year old Scott Kazmir. Yes, even in this universe the Mutts can't hang onto the kid. Seo has an overinflated scouting report - I really doubt he will become the next Prime Minister of Chile as my scout seems to suggest - but he has had more major league success than anyone on Toronto's pitching staff save for Halladay, which has to count for something. The kid Kazmir can count to something, we know; his stat lines seem to suggest the answer to that conundrum is often four, but the southpaw's walk totals have never veered that far above four-and-a-half per nine, excepting this year. But you can give him a pass on the walks this year - he's 5-4 with a 3.45 ERA in AAA, and still touching 95 and 96 on the radar gun.

There's more good players going to Toronto in that trade than they're giving up. I like that kind of thinking. Even better was their midnight-hour move on July 31 that sent reliever Aqui Lopez (2-4, 4.02 in 56 IP) to who...? To Boston, of course, along with IF Dave Berg (who should have been a Pale Hose) and outfield filler in Gabe Gross. The other Sox really can be called the other Sox this season, since they unceremoniously punted away ten of thirteen to start the second half despite facing such powerhouses as last-place Tampa and last-place Oakland. The 32 year old right-hander Lopez is a change of pace from the veterans in the Beantown bullpen whose radar guns are suddenly reading, "Tilt", but he's not a change of pace because he's a late bloomer or throws a knuckleball. No, Aqui is a change of pace because he's just a lousy pitcher, a five-year veteran with a career ERA over four. Try telling that to his new ballclub, who plans to use him in setup relief.

Berg makes for a nice temp at second base, especially when the alternative is that vortex of suck with a .250 AVG and .300 SLG, Willie Bloomquist. Gross is no great shakes but handy to have on a team like this one, where there are only two decent outfielders and not three. But it's probably too late to address these things on July 31 when you're seven out of the division and three out of the wild card, and it's all meaningless anyway when the trade is really made just to expel malcontent reliever Grant Roberts, an expensive 29 year old pickup from the Mets (hey! and things come full circle!) this past offseason. The right-hander has a 3.36 career ERA and gives the Mounties (oops, Jays...so easy to confuse them) the Proven Closer (TM) they've been lacking all year. Sure, he's expensive. Sure, he'll only pitch seventy innings a year. It's still better than Eric Knott (2-4, 5.94 ERA).

The 27 year old pride of Taiwan, Chien-Ming Wang, will also cross the border, and having posted ERA's of 2.46 and 3.31 in the past season-and-a-half in the minors, he's proven beyond a doubt that he can pitch AAA. That's more than you can say for Noah Lowry, who was 6-12 in AAA a year ago but has gotten a few starts and pitched 33 (mostly crappy) innings in Toronto at random points this season. The same for "Proven Winner" Mike Bacsik, a 29 year old southpaw whose 2006 AAA record of 12-9 overshadowed a 4.07 ERA (and higher run average) and strikeout rate of less than six per nine. Somehow he's pitched the best 19 starts of his life this year, 7-4 record and 3.87 ERA.

But with all these new pitchers, the Bacsiks will actually have to pitch well to keep their jobs in Toronto, which is the way it ought to be. Sacre les bleus!

[cknox0723]

I don't normally do this, but here is a quick copy-and-paste of all of the trades from this year's Trade Deadline Extravaganza (TM). Why not? Who doesn't like extravaganzas? And just like the one going on at my work right now, I did most of the setting up - I love this game, but we all know the AI has some flaws. I didn't want to see my carefully calibrated universe thrown astray, so I went through all of the teams and made the trades that I thought made sense, also canceling the AI trades that I thought were screwy, e.g. one-for-one challenge trades where a contending team got a younger player. There were a few that I thought were OK.

Anyway, it was great fun and I suggest it to anyone who has an OOTP league. Unless of course they hate extravaganzas, in which case I say NO SALMON BURGERS FOR YOU, SIR!!!

Sunday 7/30/2007 :

Trade between New York (N) and Toronto:
Toronto gets :
P Jae Weong Seo
P Scott Kazmir
New York (N) gets :
LF Laynce Nix

Trade between San Diego and Baltimore :
Baltimore gets :
1B David Ortiz
San Diego gets :
LF Nick Markakis
P Antonio Molina

Trade between Chicago (N) and Seattle :
Seattle gets :
RF Nic Jackson
Chicago (N) gets :
P Lorenzo Perez

Monday 7/31/2007 :

Trade between Philadelphia and Montreal :
Montreal gets :
3B D'Angelo Jimenez
Philadelphia gets :
1B James Loney
P Gerald Shryock

Trade between Chicago (N) and Montreal :
Montreal gets :
SS Habelito Hernandez
Chicago (N) gets :
2B Keith Ginter

Trade between Baltimore and Cleveland :
Cleveland gets :
1B Jay Gibbons
Baltimore gets :
3B Mark Bellhorn
P Adam Miller

Trade between Boston and Toronto :
Toronto gets :
P Chien-Ming Wang
P Grant Roberts
Boston gets :
SS Dave Berg
P Aquilino Lopez
RF Gabe Gross

Trade between Chicago (N) and Anaheim :
Anaheim gets :
P Carmen Pignatiello
1B Michael Aubrey
P Elizardo Ramirez
Chicago (N) gets :
LF Jay Garthwaite
CF Tike Redman

Trade between Colorado and Philadelphia :
Philadelphia gets :
SS Jolbert Cabrera
Colorado gets :
P Jon Lieber

Chicago (A) : Yorvit Torrealba has been signed to a contract extension, $1,550,000 per year, for 1 years.

You like that last bit, dontcha???

Thanks for reading, have a happy Fourth of July even if it's just another day to you, and it seems you may be stuck with me as I plan to update this thread again tomorrow.

[cknox0723]

Jeff Suppan of Detroit beat us twice last year, but those losses were mos' definitely beatdowns, made even more painful by the fact that the veteran right-hander compiled a 3-12 record against all of the other teams out there, even the ones in AAA! Here are links one and two.

Suppan accidentally sliced off about an eighth of an inch from his right (throwing) index finger this offseason while waxing prosaic about the proper usage of the santoku knife. It's been hell on his .284 batting average and .324 OBP; those numbers are down to .250 and .245 this season because he can't fully grip the bat properly, and maybe also because he's not faced enough Pale Hose pitching. But the deformed digit has done wonders for the Oklahoma native's breaking ball; his command both in and out of the strike zone is greatly improved, and scores of double plays induced (18, to be precise) have been the chief reason behind "Soup" currently toting 10 wins and a career-best ERA just north of three.

Irony is, this guy may have been able to beat us while at his worst last year, but he can't do it at his best this year. That thing doesn't cause itself; this is just one ballgame and Suppan (4.2 IP, 7 H, 5 R) didn't really pitch that much worse than Esteban Loaiza (7.2 IP, 11 H, 2 R, 3 BB, 4 K). He just had lousier outcomes and a shorter leash.

But it is also true that Suppan's home side never had the lead, not after Magglio Ordonez doubled home Scott Podsednik with one out in the top of the first to give the visitors an early lead. "Buddha" added a bigger extra base hit with his tater to left that started the fourth, and his exclamation mark was a two-out fifth-inning single that brought home Ramon Vazquez, who'd doubled in Yorvit Torrealba two batters earlier. That one-base hit didn't pack the same punch as his first-inning jab or fourth-inning roundhouse, but it was the blow that sent Suppan down for the count. By the time someone on the Detroit tag team had slapped in, Esteban and relievers Calero and Castro needed to record only a few outs before the end of the round.

Round 2, tomorrow.

[ifspuds]

Originally Posted by cknox0723

Chicago (A) : Yorvit Torrealba has been signed to a contract extension, $1,550,000 per year, for 1 years.

You like that last bit, dontcha???

YORVIT!

Come on, you knew I'd chime in on that...

[rem]

It's nice to see this running again.

[cknox0723]

Originally Posted by remangiii

It's nice to see this running again.

I don't know if it's running, necessarily, but it's moving along, and I'm comfortable with life at these speeds.

[cknox0723]

FRI 8/4: L 9-2 @ DET - Ace LHP Buehrle (10-7) allows four straight to reach base in the bottom of the second, and three Tigers score in the inning. That's more than enough for mediocre LHP Redman (8-9), who is a step above mediocre today, cruising through the first five innings unscathed. By that time, Buehrle (4.1 IP, 6 H, 4 R, 67 pitches) is long gone, replaced by the pitching equivalent of dancing chimpanzees. Facing a four-nothing deficit that becomes five-one just a half-inning after we plate that first run, our chances for victory are also long gone - as long gone as LF Mike Hessman's pinch-hit seventh inning grand slam, in fact.

SAT 8/5: L 6-4 @ DET - Ryan Franklin, the 35 year old codger, does his typical work, logging six innings of five hit and two run ball, only fanning three but also walking just two. Journeyman Izzy Valdes does his usual thing, coming totally unglued with two outs in the fourth and allowing three runs, two on a single to center by Franklin, one on a wild pitch that allows Yorvit Torrealba to scurry home. He'd reached by being plunked in the shoulder. Funny thing is, the Pale Hose offense is mostly quiet the rest of the ballgame; baserunners reach and baserunners advance, but there's something stopping us from the six or seven run burst that has been so common this season. Right-handed reliever "Mercurial Kiko" Calero is instead the one who bursts, putting the first three men on in the seventh. Trade acquisition Wade Miller is brought on at that point, but pinch-hitter Mike Hessman raps one over the head of third baseman Munson to plate two, giving the .178 hitter six runs batted in over two plate appearances in two days. Right fielder Reed Johnson follows in kind with a knock into center; of course he does, he's hitting 100+ points higher than Hessman, the new Pale Hose killer. Miller is fine the rest of the way, but so is the opposing bullpen. Ramon Vazquez draws a walk to start Proven Closer (TM) Fernando Rodney's ninth inning, and Vernon Wells pokes a two-out single to bring the winning run to the plate. Pinch-hitter Raul Gonzalez, with a chance to keep our engine running, sees a nice 1-1 fastball and smacks the ball hard, but right at first baseman Pena. You may have forgotten the details (I know I have), but you remember that feeling, don't you? These are the ballgames bad teams were born to lose.

We might win a ballgame like this in the future, but former top prospect Chris Scarborough won't be a reason why. Every start he makes for Milwaukee makes me think a little bit more, and his fourth one, a six-inning gem, is no exception. A three-hitter with nine strikeouts, no walks, and one run allowed will do that to you. Funny thing is "Scarborough Fair" still only threw 54 of 92 pitches for strikes, continuing the battle he's fought ever since, well, forever.

And Milwaukee still lost the game, watching a 5-1 lead evaporate like the Wisconsin snow because they are a fifth-place team (technically sixth in this swollen universe) that has enough trouble finding guys to start the game, let alone finish it.

So if we were born to lose a bunch of games to Detroit, at least we can have some solace that Milwaukee will probably suck worse for all of eternity.

[Jestor]

Scarborough's quest for greatness will, like my hunt for a sold-out Zidane French national team jersey, come to fruition in the fullness of time.

In the meantime, I'll cheer for the fairest one of all in the Pale Hose world and cheer *the* Pale Hose in first place.

Oh yes and root for Les Bleus to win against Italy, too.

[cknox0723]

You threw out the past
When you threw out what was mine
Throughout the years
It was hard to make it last
Anaheim

No sign of reconciliation
It's a quarter past the end
Full moon from on high
Across the board we lose again
Anaheim

Anaheim
Tossed it out for me to find
Without a word you're out the door
Without a reason anymore

Two fingers on the trigger
Can break the heart of any day
Foolish to believe
It would turn out okay
Anaheim

Anaheim
Tossed it out for me to find
Without a word you're out the door
Without a reason anymore

Anaheim

Anaheim kicked our tails last year, you know. Won six out of nine against us. They're in second place again this year, but a repeat of the wild card isn't even a thought, because the Halos are struggling just to hang around .500. They still have plenty of fearsome hitters - RF "Mad Vlad" Guerrero, LF Garret Anderson, 2B Soriano, hulking 1B Cust and sweet-swinging .300 hitting 3B Justin Leone. But the pitching staff gives back runs faster than the offense can score them; behind ace right-hander John Lackey, who was 8-1 with a 1.03 ERA in 75+ June and July innings, there are a bunch of guys with little experience and lousy numbers, desperately trying (and failing!) to replace Ben Howard and Jarrod Washburn's disabled wings. Nine different men have started a ballgame for the purple pitchin' eaters this year, and 27 year old Rhett Parrott, who sports a nifty 5.08 career ERA, is second on the team in starts, and he is not particularly good and only averages about five innings per outing. Predictably, the bullpen has been heavily overworked and has gone from a strength of last year's club to a liability. Veteran closer Troy Percival has converted 23 saves but also has an ERA just over four and a component ERA a run and a half higher. His young setup man "K" Rodriguez has seen his ERA more than double from last year's 2.70 mark despite retaining the velocity on his howling fastball and the nasty cut on his electric slider; the right-hander just doesn't have consistent command in (or out) of the strike zone, so even his obscene K rate of 13.4 per nine innings may not necessarily mean that better outings are ahead. Still, Rodriguez is better off than 29 year old Steve Green, who dominated the minors for three years in this universe and pitched well enough in the second half of 2006 to secure a spot in middle relief -- a spot that he will probably never see again, with a current ERA of 5.95. Left-handed batters are hitting .365/.428/.533 off the poor sap. Despite his troubles, Green has already reached a new career-high in innings pitched this season, with sixty-two.

And there's the rub. It's early August in this universe, you've got a guy who had a 7.71 ERA in April and a 5.91 in May and you keep pitching him and pitching him.

Still, Green should probably even get a start one of these days, 'cause the alternatives ain't much. For our first game in sunny Anaheim, the opposing starter is 23 year old right-hander Geoff McInnis, a fresh-faced California native and Fresno State graduate who is barely a year removed from carving up Mountain West competition. With such a quick ascent and a first-round nametag pinned on him, you might think McInnis is exactly the type his organization needs more of -- but then you see him pitch. The kid is big and strapping at 6'4", 225 lbs...but he doesn't throw any harder than you or I. He doesn't walk anyone, preferring instead to give up more than the occasional single. I believe you would call that a very unpreferable preference.

And then you can look at his numbers. Sure, McBumblebee only needed two dozen minor league starts before his call-up to the bigs in June, and his AA numbers from his debut last season were pretty solid - 6-4 record, 2.99 ERA, and only 17 walks in 81 innings. But this is a 22 year old kid from California, where the sun always shines and you can go surfing (and eat road tacos) in November. He's outclassing a lot of the other 22 year old kids in AA because age is just a state of mind, especially in baseball. Bumped up to AAA this season, McInnis was 3-3 with a 4.98 ERA in 11 starts, allowing 86 hits in 72 innings. His big league ERA is 3.98 after two months' of starts, but the 2-3 record is more indicative of the kind of pitcher this kid is.

Of course, Geoff McInnis doesn't have that 2-3 record until after we bludgeoned him around for five runs in six innings, including home runs by Frank Catalanotto (8) and Yorvit Torrealba (7). And had we fouled things up just a little more in the eighth inning, the 23 year old's record wouldn't have changed at all. Platoon-extraordinaire Dallas McPherson (batting .290/.326/.618 in 131 AB this season) swatted a two-out, two-run eighth inning double off of little lefty reliever Fabio Castro to plate Anaheim's third and fourth runs of the inning, cutting what had been a 7-2 lead all the way down to a single run. But trade deadline acquisition Wade Miller came in and blew away scrappy SS Eckstein on three consecutive sliders to end the inning there, and Joe Roa closed out the ninth for his tenth save.

Division foes Cleveland scored one in the ninth to tie and one in the tenth to beat last-place Oakland three to two. It was the seventh straight Tribe triumph and the sixth consecutive game where they allowed three runs or less. That's no real surprise; with 23 year old right-hander Fausto Carmona (3-4, 3.72 ERA in 67 IP) having replaced struggling southpaw Cliff Lee (6-7, 4.94) in the five-man rotation, opponents won't face a single Cleveland starting pitcher with an ERA above the league average of 3.96.

[cknox0723]

You would think that someone in Anaheim would have realized at some point that maybe it is not such a good idea to have more than half a rotation composed of 5.00+ ERA pitchers, but I didn't, so maybe they should get a pass. We can get a pass, too, because the opposing starting pitcher in this ballgame is Rhett Parrott, the 27 year old luddite. Should make for a free pass for our man Michael Nannini in his quest for win number six.

A three-run first inning keyed by a two-run Vernon Wells single gives Nannini a comfortable enough cushion that he can spend most of innings four through six battling his control, and in a step out of character, the control artist does just that. It's all good; the man can bunt, having sacrificed Yorvit Torrealba to second in the second to give Ramon Vazquez an RBI opportunity which the .340 hitter unsurprisingly capitalized on. With Nannini pitching into the sixth and not giving too much of that lead back, all we need is the bullpen to bear down for a few frames while waiting for the inevitable Anaheim catastrophe. Aki Otsuka does just that, stranding Nannini's runners by retiring Alfonso Soriano on a long fly out to right to end the sixth. The awful Steve Green pushes his ERA a little closer to six with a typically ugly top of the seventh, seeing men from Munson to Catalanotto to Torrealba reach on singles and errors and walks, and then making it too easy for Ramon Vazquez, throwing one up and out that "Pokey" smacks into left for a two-run hit. Kiko Calero only gives back half of those goods in the bottom half, and "K-Rod" gives up a quick single to Vernon Wells to start the eighth and then a quicker long ball to Eric Munson when he leaves a slider up in the zone and watches it get lasered down the right field line, just inside the pole. 9-3. Fabio Castro comes on for the garbage-time eighth and makes things a little too interesting by giving up back-to-back two-out home runs to Soriano (his eleventh) and sweet-swingin' .300-hittin' 3B Justin Leone, number twelve for him. But left-handed hitting Jack Cust grounds to short to end the inning and prevent some awful puns involving three backs, and all that's left is for Joe Roa to convert the easiest of saves by pitching the ninth. "Thor" Guerrero starts off the inning with a base knock, but veteran LF Garret Anderson raps into a quick 3-6-3 double play, and the air is out of the Anaheim float, though I'm still it would still hurt if it ran you over. Catcher Brian Schneider, an All-Star last year, came out of the gates slow this season and was still muddling around until July, when he smacked the ball at a .299/.348/.558 rate and drove in 21 runs.

He can't drive in three here, not by himself. Roa throws a heavy sinker or two, Schneider swings at one and fouls it off and swings at another and taps it right down the first base line. Frank Catalanotto pounces on it, bounds over to first, and that's the place we're still in, eight Cleveland wins in a row or no.



CHW 9 ANA 6

WP: M. Nannini (6-3) - 5.2 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 5 BB, 4 K, 116 pitches (but dance anyway, banana! )
LP: R. Parrott (5-9) - 4.1 IP, 8 H, 5 R
S: J. Roa (11)

Game Ball Goes to... Aki Otsuka, who I suppose could have fouled things up by throwing one very poor pitch in the sixth inning, rather than a slider that was inside just enough that "Fonsie" couldn't take it for a real ride. Lots of Pale Hose guys saw the ball well in scoring nine runs on sixteen hits - Vazquez was 3-5 with 3 RBI, Wells was 3-5 with a double, Munson was 3-6 with his nineteenth tater, Yorvit was 2-3 and walked twice - but Rhett Parrott and his ilk are a little "easy", if you know what I mean. Polly want a cracker?

[zukes]

Two updates within 12 hours? Someone has found a little time on his hands. Good, it's always a pleasant diversion from work to get to read some Pale Hose, especially in the summer, when I look out my window and wish that I were anywhere but at my desk. Keep it up.

[cknox0723]

Originally Posted by zukes

Two updates within 12 hours? Someone has found a little time on his hands. Good, it's always a pleasant diversion from work to get to read some Pale Hose, especially in the summer, when I look out my window and wish that I were anywhere but at my desk. Keep it up.

Hey, thanks. Of course, I am ironically enough a week late in thanking you.

But I was able to update a bit more often last week because my car was burned out and had to go into the mechanic for a bit. I think it was a coincidence, but a few days later I felt as though I needed a tuneup myself. You know how that is.

But triumphantly enough (and significantly poorer), here are the Pale Hose once again.

[cknox0723]

Jarrod Washburn, the 33 year old southpaw and career-long Angel in this universe, can certainly hit, at least when facing our shower of clowns. But carrying a 6-9 record this season with a chunky 5.00-plus ERA and terrifying home run rates, it's open question whether he's got anything left in the once-golden left arm.

A first inning long ball off Magglio Ordonez's big bat is a nice start, but Esteban Loaiza, "The Art of Suck", scourge of the earth and all those nice things, gives it right back. Garret Anderson singles home sweet-swingin' Justin Leone, who had doubled off the center field fence two batters earlier, and we're tied after one only because Dallas McPherson grounds out to second for out number three.

Second inning takes a nice turn after a Wil Cordero strikeout because Frank Thomas, getting a rare A.B., cracks an ordinary fastball into left for an all-too-rare hit, raising his average to .170 or so. Yorvit Torrealba smacks another nice, hittable pitch down the left field line and into the corner and now something else is being raised -- Thomas's heart rate, as he's chugging around second and heading for third, running through Dan Pasqua's stop sign and huffing and puffing, straining and pushing and finally...collapsing, halfway between third and home. Wil Nieves tags him out. Two down.

Two down in more ways than one, as Torrealba is writhing on the ground around second base. "P***ed something?" I'm wondering, since I was too busy marvelling at big Frank to know what the hell happened, but no one answers me. Miguel Olivo, Yorvit's backup, jogs out to second base to run in his place and in place, since Jack Wilson strikes out to end the inning.

Esteban's fine for an inning or so, but you remember the guy last year who would come unglued just enough to lose ALL THE ****ING TIME?

I have a bad feeling that after winning ten games in four months, "The Art of Suck" is rearing his ugly head again. Esteban serves up a solo home run ball to Garret Anderson with one out in the fourth inning, and backup backstop Nieves brings home another run on a groundout after a single and walk had put men on the corners. By the time our "dynamic" "revamped" "exciting" offense gets a man on second base, it's the sixth inning. Predictably enough, that manly man is one of the new guys, Podsednik, who singled to lead off the inning and then moved up on a scintilling hit 'n run groundout. Of course, superstar and former MVP Magglio Ordonez strikes out on three pitches, and proven cleanup man and RBI machine Vernon Wells pops out to left-center.

Esteban's fragile psyche can't handle that crushing blow, and he all but throws away the ballgame the next half-frame by giving up a few more runs. Again G. Anderson (.280/.357/.475 in 400 AB) catalyzes the run-scoring with an extra-base hit; this time, it was a double to right-center. The powerful Mr. McPherson, giving "Mad Vlad" a day off today, knocks a measly run-scoring single to right; after a fielder's choice and steal of second, Wil Nieves comes through with a base hit to left for his second run batted in. Julio Lugo (remember him?) ends the inning with his specialty, the ground out to second base, and he'll cap off a fine oh-for-four day by striking out against Wade Miller in the eighth. Too bad the right-hander had to face six other batters in the inning to get the other two outs.

Vernon Wells hits a meaningless home run to lead off the ninth inning, cutting the deficit to six runs for good and sending Washburn's home run rates northward just a little bit more. Big deal. The portsider's still got something left in that arm...at least when he's facing the Pale Hose.

CHW 2 ANA 8

WP: J. Washburn (7-9) - 8.1 IP, 9 H, 2 R, 1 BB, 6 K
LP: E. Loaiza (11-6) - 6 IP, 7 H, 5 R

Game Ball Goes To... Nieves (two for four with three RBI), a 29 year old rookie carrying a .306 batting average in 144 AB this season despite a mostly undistinguished minor league batting record. His mate Brian Schneider had two hits in each of the first two games, so it was as good of a series for Anaheim catchers as it was a calamitous third game for Yorvit Torrealba (who got hurt) and "Miguel the Incompetent", his wonderful (and terrible) backup (who actually went two-for-three, but I didn't notice; I did notice his ridiculous eighth-inning throwing error trying to peg out basestealer Reggie Willits at second, though). The good news is that Yorvit is listed as day-to-day with some sort of horribly pulled muscle; the bad news is that maybe 90% of a journeyman like Yorvit Torrealba isn't quite enough, and should go on the disabled list.

[Y0DA55]

At some point in the future (like not now), you need to do a "Woulda Coulda Shoulda" with your trades that you made. It's a little early right now, but hopefully you could do so during the thick of the pennant race that you will be in shortly.

And, btw, how far are the Indians behind you at this point? And if you do slide too far, is there hope for the Wild Card?

[CTSoxFan]

*Bump*

Where are you Craig?

[ifspuds]

No kidding. The guy wins dynasty of the year two years straight, and can't even be bothered to show up to pick up his virtual trophy.

[CTSoxFan]

For anyone bored, read Return to Glory 2006...

http://ootpdevelopments.com/board/sh...d.php?t=128452

[cknox0723]

Most dynasties in this forum end without ending, don't they? A day trickles by without a post, then it becomes two and four and even though time is passing at the same rate, the distance between author and dynasty and forum increases exponentially. Before you know it, there's a new edition of "The Top 75 Dynasties" (Y0DA willing) and the aforementioned dynasty that just ends is number fifty-six or thirty-nine or a footnote to a better, more complete body of work by the same poster.

The reasons behind a dynasty ending are of course more interesting than a simple discussion of the dynasty's end, because we would like to think we could make some greater, general point from figuring out why and create a list of tips for enterprising dynasty writers. But observation tells me that some dynasties end because its author comes up with a bigger and brighter idea, and others because the author finds greater interest in something else. You will have those that claim computer crash and others that said, "Busy now, just bumping to remind myself to update," but those are just excuses, you know? Call me a nerd or a sap or whatever, but I see a dynasty as just like a relationship -- you will meet a gal (or guy), and classify them very quickly based on first impressions. Then maybe you want to move beyond just being acquainted with them, or maybe you will see some hawt chiXXor and forget all about them. I won't even mention how the dancing banana plays into all this.

Anyway, I'm rambling, trying to wax philosophical about an internet baseball dynasty forum for any number of ill-conceived reasons. What I'm trying to say is this - dynasties end, same as the American television show from the eighties.

The recent lack of posts in this dynasty was simply because I had been brainstorming what I affectionately like to think of as "the greatest post ever." No lie. It involved the White Elephants of Oakland being led by right-hander Joe Blanton in numerous bloody battle scenes, with cameos by Akinori Otsuka as a kamikaze pilot and Joe Borchard as himself.

But, as you can imagine, the post fell flat at some point. I fail you fail he/she fails we fail you fail they fail. We are all failures. For whatever reason, probably because I am cknox0723, I couldn't reconcile that, even though I know it to be an eternal truth. It refused to sit well with me, punching in the normal rambling 500-word post describing our 7-6 loss...so one day without posts became two, two became four, and on and on. That is why I can't write a story dynasty, by the way - I can't separate myself from myself, let alone from something I do.

So that brings us to now...and, yet, most everyday the past three weeks I have pondered Scarborough for Podsednik or some variation thereof. And that brings us (or, at the very least, me) back to here. But how to get back on point?

The grand solution occured to me a day or two ago, something that would have been unfathomable to me circa 2005. But things change, people change, time passes by whether we want it to or not. And dynasties end.

The solution for me was to take a rags-to-riches team that had scraped for everything they had earned that season, a 67-51 ballclub, and...

...hit the simulate to end of season button.

I realized the cold, cold water that I was cannonballing into -- I have written how many posts about how many games, again? -- but the cknox0723 that writes the Pale Hose has the same imperfections as the cknox0723 that works 45 hours a week and busts his tail for almost no return and is painfully shy and likes taking classes but doesn't know what to do with them.

G-d grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.

One of the things I could change was not posting about my fake internet baseball team because I didn't know what to say, same as I can crawl out from my own fake turtle shell by talking to hawt chiXXors and stuff. It sucks that it takes so much effort -- I am literally pounding my fingers on the keys as though it will help me articulate my message better...

And again I digress. Cut me a break, OK, I didn't pull 800-post threads out of my ***, you know!

My ultimate point is this:

League Standings Report
Thursday, 9/28/2007 
American League Standings 
 
East 
 
Team 	W L PCT GB  Pyt.Rec Diff   Home Away XInn 1Run M# Streak Last10 
Empire 	88 68 .564 - 89-67 -1   48-31 40-37 9-6 27-24 1 W1 5-5 
Boston 	82 74 .526 6.0 86-70 -4   38-40 44-34 5-11 26-25 - W2 7-3 
Orioles 79 78 .503 9.5 81-76 -2   41-40 38-38 5-9 26-26 - L1 6-4 
Toronto 69 87 .442 19.0 72-84 -3   39-36 30-51 8-13 24-30 - W1 4-6 
Bad Fish67 89 .429 21.0 65-91 2   41-36 26-53 8-9 30-25 - L3 4-6 
 
Central 
 
Team 	W L PCT GB  Pyt.Rec Diff   Home Away XInn 1Run M# Streak Last10 
CLE 	91 65 .583 - 88-68 3   55-20 36-45 16-6 30-21 * W1 6-4 
HOSE 	83 73 .532 8.0 80-76 3   45-36 38-37 10-7 25-25 - L1 5-5 
MIN	79 78 .503 12.5 82-75 -3   43-36 36-42 9-9 26-29 - W6 7-3 
Detroit 70 86 .449 21.0 69-87 1   30-45 40-41 5-7 16-33 - W2 5-5 
K-City 	70 86 .449 21.0 71-85 -1   39-42 31-44 8-12 31-31 - L1 3-7 
 
West 
 
Team 	W L PCT GB  Pyt.Rec Diff   Home Away XInn 1Run M# Streak Last10 
Seattle 90 66 .577 - 83-73 7   42-36 48-30 12-11 36-21 * W2 7-3 
Anaheim 78 78 .500 12.0 76-80 2   36-45 42-33 10-5 22-26 - L3 4-6 
Texas 	76 80 .487 14.0 79-77 -3   40-35 36-45 8-5 21-30 - L2 2-8 
Oakland 71 85 .455 19.0 73-83 -2   37-41 34-44 6-9 29-23 - L1 6-4

We faded, and Cleveland caught fire, just as you easily could have guessed. There was no one particularly close in the wild card in August, but Boston recently pulled off a CLUTCH three-game sweep of our boys in socks and then split a four-game set with Toronto to mostly holdfast while we took two of three from the awful Royals. The Other Sox also picked up quite a bit of ground when we went on a six-game skid in early September which happened to encompass a four-game sweep by the $#%&*)# Rangers, who won all four games by one run and three in extra innings.

We have played all of our home games, finishing 45-36 in the House that Julio Deconstructed. Boston has three more, against Baltimore to end the year. We will be playing Cleveland at the same time, which intimidates me almost as much as (you can guess how I'd finish that sentence). Fortunately Boston has three with them beforehand; we'll play terrible Detroit at the same time. We play one game better than Boston over the next six and we're in.

So here's your pennant race, and here once again are the Pale Hose we all know and love.

[CTSoxFan]

Come on Pale Hose!

[BadluckinOOTP]

Oh God! I can't take it!

[BadluckinOOTP]

also, that's nuts how balanced the league is record wise.

[Vris]

And I thought I was bad!

But if anyone deserves to do what you did, it's you Craig.

Here's hoping! :crossesfingers:

[cknox0723]

Originally Posted by CTSoxFan

Come on Pale Hose!

Originally Posted by BadluckinOOTP

also, that's nuts how balanced the league is record wise.

Word.

[cknox0723]

Once upon a time, there seemed to be a hole in my pocket, and the coins kept slippin' out. There ain't no way to stop that - this often causes me particular trouble when I would go out to get something to eat, which is why I have been brown-bagging lunch a lot recently. Even though the food satisfied my growling stomach, it seemed like such a waste when I could have made it myself and saved money...especially since I am the kind of guy that can get a metric ****ton of enjoyment out of a $10 CD or, heck, a $25 computer baseball game.

I think the Podsednik for Scarborough deal is going to turn out like that. We have a different perspective on that, now that there are five games left in the year. Yes, these Pale Hose still could well make the playoffs and that is the ultimate goal.

But old Scotty Pods, a .300 hitter with a .400 OBP four times in the last four years, crashed and burned after he was made the centerpiece of a July 21 trade.

MONTH	AB	AVG	OBP	SLG	SB/ATT
AUGUST	117	.248	.305	.299	9/13
SEPT	92	.196	.245	.250	4/8

Worst part is that I'm serious. You couldn't dream up a worse-case scenario for that trade, could you? Even if "Pods" had gotten hurt, odds are any clown (yes, the guys with goofy hair and big shoes) would have hit .215 with a .275 OBP. It is reasonable to say that the different between "Pods" and anyone, let alone Brian Anderson, has been the cause of our wild card lead shrinking to just one game. Remember, we were six or seven games up on the wild card in early August - not to mention a game or two ahead of Cleveland at that point. However, the bullpen deserves as much blame if not more than "Pods"; to a man, they have wilted down the stretch. "Mercurial Kiko" Calero had an ERA of almost nine in August; Joe Roa's got one over eight in September, including a few disastrous blown saves; Aki Otsuka has bit it and hard, as well. Only PJ Bevis has been reliable (read: pitching to an ERA under 5) in the last six weeks.

Meanwhile, Chris "Scarborough Fair" is fair no more. He bottomed out with a two-plus inning, seven-run disaster in Arizona August tenth, but since then he has allowed nine runs total in nine starts, including consecutive starts to open September with a pitching line of seven innings, two hits, zero runs, zero walks, and ten strikeouts. Usually the cause of such a turnaround for a young pitcher is attributed to meeting with an old coach; you make up the backstory for Scarborough if you're so inclined. Meanwhile his strikeout rate is 11.1 per nine innings. There are obvious flaws; he has allowed 12 home runs in seventy-something innings, and of course he is still just 22 years old and repeatedly throws a little ball very hard. Give it parsly, sage, rosemary, and most of all time before you burn me in effigy for the trade.

But the lesson is learned; Scarborough was a great draft pick, so pat me on the back for that. But trading him was not one of my finest moments. I understand why I did it, but the allure of Scotty Pods was illusory. He is a good ballplayer, sure, but his swoon down the stretch has shown that even good ballplayers have their lulls. And Scarborough was and is worth more than that.

Maybe "Pods" will smack some hits and steal some bases over the next five games; even better if he does it in the playoffs, which will give me cause to pump my fist in the air and something to hang up on the nonexistent mantle. That's certainly worth something.

But the Scarborough for Podsednik trade underscores a valuable lesson not only for cknox0723 the fake Pale Hose manager but cknox0723 the dude. And that lesson is not, "The manager's a ****tard," either.

Smart people do dumb **** sometimes, and good ballclubs lose ballgames. It's not necessarily worth deconstructing things further than that; that is, everything will have its flaws. Maybe we just should have accepted ours.

But no turning back now; I don't have a file backup from late July or the gumption to pretend the trade never happened. Let's hope the Pale Hose don't fall into the category of "good ballclubs losing ballgames" (mirroring their manager the ****tard). Though, if Boston loses five in a row I suppose it would be OK if we did, too.

[cknox0723]

9/28

Mark Buehrle tallied a 6-2 record over an August and September that I mostly wasn't watching, so it's almost perfect that if he starts this first game against Detroit, he can start the one hundred and sixty-second Pale Hose game of the season if need be. It works out great, having him on the mound, especially since his opponent is Rich Harden of the 9-15 record, the same guy that we battered around two months and a week ago (link). This is all so foolproof, especially since arch-nemesis Boston will attempt to pick up the game they trail us in the wild card by starting Anastacio "The Lesser Martinez" (8-11, 5.77) against Cleveland's brilliant ace Josh Beckett (14-6, 2.54), who is due to hit the free agent market after this season and will not make another start in a Cleveland uniform in a regular-season game.

The only trouble is that your wayward guide on this wacky journey doesn't really believe in perfect, since he knows names. The OOTP game don't, so all it sees is that Buehrle is going on three days' rest. Throw in the fact that the 25 year old right-hander Harden is a hell of a lot better pitcher than his sad record indicates -- consider his 3.59 ERA this year or 3.50 career mark, for starters -- and while everything looks so peachy-keen on the surface, I'm just not so sure.

Harden makes quick work of speedy left-handed batters Ramon Vazquez and Scott Podsednik for two quick outs in the top of the first. While he runs into a jam when Magglio Ordonez singles and Vernon Wells reaches on a wide throw by shortstop Tony Giarratano, powerful third sacker Eric Munson takes a rather lame hack at a tough-to-handle slider and bounces one to the right side that's easily handled and turned into out number three by first baseman Carlos Pena.

"The Buehrle One" misses with his first pitch to Detroit's leadoff hitter, the young shortstop Tony Giarratano, bouncing the two-seam fastball just a few inches in front of catcher Yorvit Torrealba. His second offering is a little higher, but just as inaccurate - Giarratano has to peel out of the batter's box, for his body's sake.

The 2-0 pitch is finally over the plate...but also over Giarratano's head, and Torrealba squatting behind him, and the man in blue whom my younger sister likes to call "the second catcher." Three pitches, all off the plate. This is our ace:

And this is our ace on three days' rest, in the wonderful, flawed universe that is OOTP:

Any questions?

Just one.

"Yeah, I'm looking up at the scoreboard for the Cleveland-Boston game and the number of the pitcher just changed for the home Tribe. Why would they pull their ace in the bottom of the first?"

[Y0DA55]

Nice. We have a pennant race going here!

I WANT to see these guys in the playoffs!

[CTSoxFan]

I agree! Let's Go Hose!

[cknox0723]

Originally Posted by Y0DA55

Nice. We have a pennant race going here!

Not for long, the way this one was going. With Buehrle throwing the ball all over the place and worse, Cleveland ace Josh Beckett getting hurt, giving Boston more than a fighting chance even with "The Lesser Martinez" on the mound. But...

I WANT to see these guys in the playoffs!

By the grace of Buehrle, you will. The southpaw responded to a first-inning that looked like it was out of control by making just a few decent pitches, but that was enough. Tony Giarratano bounced out to his counterpart Ramon Vazquez on a 3-0 fastball. Wilton Reynolds hacked at a fat 2-0 heater, but got way under it, hitting an infield fly that Frank Catalanotto snagged. And Carlos Pena capped off an inning of lost at-bats by topping a three-oh pitch, hitting a weak bouncer that Adam Kennedy handled with ease and chucked over to first for out number three.

Frank Catalanotto led off the second with a triple. Two batters later, catcher Yorvit Torrealba brought him home with a thunderous double off the left-center field fence. Ramon Vazquez came through with a two-out base knock as he has so many times this season. Though Magglio Ordonez would strike out after a Scott Podsednik walk, putting the lead at two runs instead of three or four, the Pale Hose suddenly had some momentum.

And with that, Mark Buehrle coasted the whole darned way. The first Detroit hit was left fielder Reynolds' single to lead off the fourth; he'd be erased by Reed Johnson's inning-ending double play. There was an encore performance in the fifth, and then you had to know that the baseball gods were smiling down on us when Tony Giarratano lined into a double play to end the sixth, into the score books as 3U.

Journeyman reliever Nelson Cruz would wander into seventh-inning trouble by giving up two quick hits to Buehrle (of all people) and Ramon Vazquez, but he would wander out after a sacrifice bunt would waste an out that we need not have thrown away, as "Buddha" whiffed. Eric Munson would make the third out by popping off a can of corn to right.

The lead was still two-nothing, but again we'd muffed an opportunity to make it more, and it looked as though that was something to regret when left fielder Reynolds and pinch-hitter Chris Shelton each knocked one-baggers into left to start the seventh. "The Buehrle One" is no Nelson Cruz, for sure, but the Tigers are not the Pale Hose, either. And apples are not oranges.



Regardless of what Mark Buehrle is (a bona fide ace) or isn't (a Cy Young candidate), he did get out of that seventh-inning jam, first by striking out Reed Johnson, and then Mike Hessman after loading the bases. Ty Wigginton hits into the fourth Detroit double play to erase Junior Spivey's single to lead off the eighth, and Buehrle gets a standing ovation from one guy sitting on a piggy bank in front of a computer screen as he departs after fanning Jason Alfaro to end the inning. Pinch-hitter Enrique Wilson draws a leadoff walk batting in Buehrle's spot in the last frame, and Ramon Vazquez follows with a two-bagger. Both of those guys end up coming home, giving the visitors a 4-0 lead and their de-facto manager enough comfort to bring in old friend Jon Rauch (remember him?) to get the last three outs. He has his speed bumps, and of course Scott Podsednik makes an error in left field, as though his oh-for-two day at the plate isn't lousy enough. But "The Hypothetical Power Forward" retires "Pudge" Rodriguez on a comebacker for the twenty-seventh out, keeping the shutout intact.



CHW 4 DET 0

WP: M. Buehrle (17-8) - 8 IP, 5 H, 0 R, 3 BB, 4 K, 89 pitches on three days' rest
LP: R. Harden (9-16) - 5 IP, 6 H, 2 R (maybe we will get lucky and Detroit will trade him because of his undeserved lousy won-loss record)

Game Ball Goes to... "The Buehrle One" was OK, I guess. What the hey.

But the best part is... Cleveland beat Boston! 7-3, thanks to another late-inning bullpen meltdown. Proven Closer (TM) Keith Foulke has frequently been the culprit this year (31 saves, but 5.11 ERA and 4-11 record), but this time it was seventh-inning middleman Bartolome Fortunato who poured gasoline on the fire, serving up a two-run Molotov to center fielder Corey Patterson, who upped his September batting average to approximately .973 with that blast. Actually it is .455, and that's impressive enough in its own right, even for a month. Four fifty-five! Southpaw JC Romero came in and couldn't really do much better, in the end battered for a couple of singles and a couple of doubles, which is really just a couple too many.

Division mates Minnesota won their seventh in a row to stay mathematically alive for the wild card, and the same for the third-place team in the East, Baltimore, but Boston is still the only one in the rearview mirror. And at two games out with five to play, I have an inkling that they are going to be "The Other Sox" this year.

[ifspuds]

I think you should know that I can't listen to disc 2 of Being There without singing along with "The Buehrle One".

[cknox0723]

33 year old Mark Redman is 2-0 against us this season in three tries, which begs the unanswerable question, "What kind of playoff team can't beat a left-hander with a record of seven wins and eleven losses against real major league teams?"

On this day Mark Redman shuts us out for eight-and-two-thirds, which is eight-and-two-thirds longer than our man Ryan Franklin, who started off his afternoon by walking the first two batters and then throwing a fat one that first baseman Carlos Pena cracked into left-center for a run-scoring single. There were many more of those to come for the home Kitties, and had Franklin not been removed in the second inning, there may have been thousands. As it was, there were a hand's worth in just an inning and a third, thanks to six (!!!) walks. "DSM-IV Jorge" DePaula (remember him?) would continue the walking and run allowing clearance sale in three-plus innings of long relief; "Wild Thing" Ankiel, strangely enough, did not walk a batter in the three innings he worked. Predictably, the hard-throwing left-hander was brilliant in the time he was in the game, dropping his season earned run average to 3.99 in 29 innings (mostly accumulated in June). It planted the seed in my mind to carry him on the postseason roster should we get there, but that is probably wishful thinking.

It is wishful thinking to make Ankiel a postseason pitcher, but not to think of our club as a postseason ballclub. "How?" you ask. "You just got your rear handed to you by the 75-win Tigers, a club led by SUPERSTARS like Reed Johnson and Jeff Suppan. You just lost to Mark Redman again. How could this club possibly make any postseason?"

Well, whoever you are wondering these things, there is a reason this thread has 800+ posts. And it ain't 'cause of the fancy color scheme.

We may have been bested by some lousy lefty again, but Boston got shutout by C.C. Sabathia (and the Sunshine Band, featuring guest vocalist Scott Eyre, a fellow southpaw), with home Cleveland getting offense from Jody Gerut's fourth-inning home run and some smallball or whatever it is called in the sixth. Our hated division rivals may have gained about fifteen games on us in the past month to go from in the rearview mirror to in the next county, but they've also all but put us in the playoffs. We're two up in the wild card with just four to play.

[BadluckinOOTP]

Originally Posted by cknox0723

33 year old Mark Redman is 2-0 against us this season in three tries, which begs the unanswerable question, "What kind of playoff team can't beat a left-hander with a record of seven wins and eleven losses against real major league teams?"

On this day Mark Redman shuts us out for eight-and-two-thirds, which is eight-and-two-thirds longer than our man Ryan Franklin, who started off his afternoon by walking the first two batters and then throwing a fat one that first baseman Carlos Pena cracked into left-center for a run-scoring single. There were many more of those to come for the home Kitties, and had Franklin not been removed in the second inning, there may have been thousands. As it was, there were a hand's worth in just an inning and a third, thanks to six (!!!) walks. "DSM-IV Jorge" DePaula (remember him?) would continue the walking and run allowing clearance sale in three-plus innings of long relief; "Wild Thing" Ankiel, strangely enough, did not walk a batter in the three innings he worked. Predictably, the hard-throwing left-hander was brilliant in the time he was in the game, dropping his season earned run average to 3.99 in 29 innings (mostly accumulated in June). It planted the seed in my mind to carry him on the postseason roster should we get there, but that is probably wishful thinking.

It is wishful thinking to make Ankiel a postseason pitcher, but not to think of our club as a postseason ballclub. "How?" you ask. "You just got your rear handed to you by the 75-win Tigers, a club led by SUPERSTARS like Reed Johnson and Jeff Suppan. You just lost to Mark Redman again. How could this club possibly make any postseason?"

Well, whoever you are wondering these things, there is a reason this thread has 800+ posts. And it ain't 'cause of the fancy color scheme.

We may have been bested by some lousy lefty again, but Boston got shutout by C.C. Sabathia (and the Sunshine Band, featuring guest vocalist Scott Eyre, a fellow southpaw), with home Cleveland getting offense from Jody Gerut's fourth-inning home run and some smallball or whatever it is called in the sixth. Our hated division rivals may have gained about fifteen games on us in the past month to go from in the rearview mirror to in the next county, but they've also all but put us in the playoffs. We're two up in the wild card with just four to play.

Oh boy!

[CTSoxFan]

Sweet

[cknox0723]

Game number one hundred and fifty-nine of the 2007 Pale Hose season features two of the most unlikely fifteen game winners around - 32 year old journeyman Jeff Suppan (of Kensington Gardens) had a very inauspicious debut season in Detroit last year, posting a won-lost of 5-8 with an unsightly 5.18 ERA, a full run over the league average and then some. But a new grip on the circle changeup has given the right-hander control over the little white sphere that he's never had before; though his arm has tired a bit as summer has turned to fall, "Fwendy" still has an earned run average well below 3.50 and a run average solidly antes the league average of around 4.00. Our moundsman Jon Garland can't make quite the same claim, but the just-turned 28 year old was on the verge of the independent leagues after a 4-15 season two years ago and a 2006 that was heading in much the same direction...until August. Since then, Garland's won 21 games -- 21 more than he had before.

He'll probably have to wait 'til next year for number twenty-two, because "Jon Moo" gets clocked for four hits and two runs in the bottom of the first of this one, his thirty-fifth start of the season, a hole that only grows after Carlos Pena's third-inning long ball and deepens in the most unmerciful of ways in the fourth, when the opposing pitcher Suppan comes around to score after a double to leadoff the inning. I guess the four inning, four run line from Garland is a bit of deja vu, maybe a polite nod to the lousy pitcher that he ceased to be just over a year ago.

If there were ever a time for it, it is game one hundred and fifty-nine of the 2007 season, 'cause the Boston offense was stymied by Cleveland pitching once again, dropping our wild card competitors two games back with three to play. Never before has a two-game losing streak provided such a rush of momentum.

[cknox0723]

We ride the wave of a two-game losing streak into Cleveland, the site of three consecutive pastings of our chief wild card contenders. With Esteban (no last name necessary) on the mound, you can almost expect a fourth consecutive pasting, except with our side being on the sticky end this time, perhaps giving the Other Sox the slimmest of possible chances at the wild card.

But this is not the Esteban of a year ago, the guy who went 8-16 with an ERA of 5.32 and a run average over 6.00 in one hundred ninety-nine and two-thirds miserable innings. And this is not the team that struggled from start to finish and mostly stumbled across 69 wins in accidental, occidental ways.

After a 1-2-3 1st inning for both sides, center fielder and cleanup man Vernon Wells leads off the visitor's half of the fourth and connects loudly with a soft Fausto Carmona fastball, clobbering it down the right field line and into the corner, giving him ample time for a couple of extra bases in addition to the usual. Two batters later, another one of those new guys comes through for the game's first run - Frank Catalanotto knocks a single into left and gets the RBI after Wells taps home. Second baseman Adam Kennedy -- also not on the team last year -- steps in next and smacks a hard comebacker, but Carmona snares it cleanly to start a nifty inning-ending double play.

Esteban's not getting the same rally-killers when he's on the rubber, not today, but that's only 'cause he don't need 'em. Joe Crede's single to left with one out in the third gives the home team their first baserunner of the ballgame, but he's the eight hitter, and so the pitcher Carmona follows by making a quick second out. Leadoff man Corey Patterson bounces harmlessly to third to end the inning; it's only about the second out he's made in the last month, as he's hitting .450 since August, but good timing on his part.

Third baseman Eric Munson, a longtime minor slugger, keeps the fourth inning alive with a two-out single. Then "Wildcat" Catalanotto bops one over Ben Broussard and makes right fielder Jody Gerut play fetch, and we're up two-nothing. Adam Kennedy is up next; he's another left-handed batter whose talents were wasted elsewhere before coming to the South Side, and never was that more apparent than on one swing here. Carmona leaves an offspeed pitch out over the plate, and the second baseman clobbers it -- far and away into the left-center field night. It's such an admirable blast that I scarcely notice the fleet of foot Corey Patterson streaking across the outfield to meet up with the ball's path, just a few strides away from the fence. So it's almost a surprise when he's underneath the ball as it's coming down, there to squeeze it in the leather for out number three.

"Shucks," I can't help but actually mutter out loud, but then I look up at the scoreboard and realize we won't have anymore dead Kennedys, for there ain't going to be no depression over lost home runs when you're about to clinch a playoff spot.

And Boston's down three-zip to Baltimore in the third. 15-game winner Burnett is getting chased.

Even the Pale Hose can't possibly mess this one up...

Right?

[cknox0723]

Even the Pale Hose can't mess this one up, I think that is true, but damned if we don't try.

Esteban cruises through a one-two-three fourth inning, setting down the batsmen who are ostensibly three of Cleveland's most dangerous (#2 hitter the catcher Martinez, "Odysseus" Gerut, and mediocre first baseman Broussard). So with that in mind, it is almost no worries when we squander an opportunity to add to the two-nothing lead, as Magglio Ordonez bounces into an around-the-horn double play to completely waste a nice bases loaded, one out situation.

There should have been some worries then. After all, who am I to say that the Pale Hose can't mess this one up? But Esteban rolls through the fifth and we don't score negative runs in the top of the sixth, sp we're still clinging to our big little lead.

The home side's number eight hitter, third sacker Joe Crede, singles to right to lead off the sixth. That's quite a change from the million outs he made for some Chicago team last year, but good for him, making something of himself. The pitcher Carmona bunts him to second, and center fielder Corey Patterson follows by replacing him at second, blasting a ball into one of the outfield corners for a two-bagger. It's almost as if "Mr. September" is playing pinball or some other sort of button-mashing game; that hit is his forty-eighth in the thirty-one day span since September 1.

There's no shame in becoming his umpteenth victim, but we can have a goat in Ramon Vazquez, who boots a grounder up the middle off the bat of Victor Martinez to complicate the inning quite a bit. Jody Gerut's subsequent worm-burner (to the right side, mind you, not in the direction of "Whipping Boy" Vazquez) burns my ass, because the forceout at second doesn't end the inning, and so "Mr. September" trots home, tying the game at two. The reliably mediocre Ben Broussard strikes out to end the inning, but our lead is gone, just like that.

As will be Baltimore's, in a few minutes - the renowned Boston offense is apparently making a seventh-inning comeback, having already scored one run and squeezed out lefty starter Erik Bedard.

You know, all's we need is for this to happen two more times, and then we'll be the Other Sox.

[cknox0723]

You know, all's we need is for (catastrophe) to happen two more times, and then we'll be the Other Sox.

Except thunder doesn't crash and lightning don't strike, not this time, not this year.

Loaiza gave up the lead in the sixth and then clouds my already-clouded mind further by giving us a seventh-inning baserunner with a sharply-hit one-out single to left-center. Angel Berroa boots Ramon Vazquez's hard-hit bouncer, a rather unassuming error that allows one to assume much more this late in the juncture. But Scott Podsednik continues to make me look silly for trading for him, hitting an easy bouncer to second instead of driving in runs. Only his catlike quickness saves us from an inning-ending double play, but even that becomes irrelevant, as "Buddha" Ordonez, supposed superstar, grounds to first to end the inning.

We failed. But Loaiza soldiers on unfazed, pitching a one-two-three seventh, and much to my amazement, I look up at the scoreboard and see that Baltimore right-hander Steve Woodard did the same, pitching out of a seventh-inning jam against Boston.

Cleveland starter Carmona and Loaiza match each other with quick, ground-ball filled eighth innings; elsewhere, Jorge Julio was bailed out not by Proven Closer (TM) Mo Rivera, who's saved seventy-six in his three years in MD in this universe, but by the man trying to earn his stripes in the relief ace role, 26 year old Jacobo Sequea. If his breakthrough performance this season (68 IP, 56 H, 18 R, 25 BB, 72 K, 2.16 ERA) is any indication, "Tremolo" will be a good one. If Sequea's grand test was an eighth-inning save situation, with Manny Ramirez on first base, Kevin Millar batting followed by Garciaparra, two batsmen who have accounted for about 200 of Boston's 700 runs this season, then he aced it. The first sacker whiffed on three pitches, the third being a 95 mile an hour fire-breather, and Garciaparra bounced the second pitch to third baseman Bautista. Boston's lesser lights were just as blinded by the brilliance of "Sequea Trees" in the ninth, and even if the Pale Hose can mess things up, the fourth straight loss by the Other Sox has all but sealed their playoff fate.

Back in the Second City (actually, since we are playing at Cleveland, it is more like the Fifteenth City), Joe Roa had all but sketched out his ninth loss of the season, entering in the bottom of the ninth of a ballgame that was still 2-2 and throwing a fat one to "Odysseus" Gerut, who smashed it deep into the outfield night. The only reason the game didn't end there was because right-center stretched on for a little while. But one base hit in three tries still would have ended it, with Gerut straddling second after his long hit. When Roa's 1-1 sinker to Ben Broussard didn't drop but a tear or two, it looked as though Cleveland would only need that one try. Broussard stung the unsuccessful pitch like mosquitoes to my arm, smacking a howling line drive right past the right of the mound. Tearing towards third was Gerut, and how Vernon Wells would ever throw him out at home, I don't know. We'd have to wait another day to clinch our playoff spot.

Except the ball never got into center field. The incomparable "Gumby" Kennedy had Broussard shaded up the middle just a bit, but even that couldn't explain how he timed his reflexive face-first dive towards second base just right so that the ball somehow met the webbing of his glove. I doubt he could explain it, either, even if he was more than a few bits of code; maybe Juan Uribe would know, but he's hitting .170 in Seattle now.

Doubling Gerut off of second was the easy part; retiring pinch-hitter Brad Snyder was just a formality. I knew immediately after reading the play-by-play line "Kennedy dives...AND MAKES THE CATCH!" that I had just seen something. Despite effectively skipping a month and a half of this season by simming it, despite taking as long as it has to complete the year and despite not finding the new "Hacktastic Julio", I'd found whatever I'd been searching for with this team. It was an imperfect something -- never made more evident than the top of the tenth, when the supposed piece that was to put us over the top destroyed another inning, grounding into a fielder's choice to eliminate Ramon Vazquez's leadoff walk and then getting thrown out trying to steal second. That's the **** that Podsednik was not supposed to do; he's the guy that should be able to steal when everyone knows he's going to run, and he's the guy that should be able to hit when we know that Ordonez is going to hit into a double play and Wells and Munson are going to strike out. He hasn't been, and to boot he cost us a brilliant pitching prospect.

But here we are anyway, nine games over .500 with just a couple to play, on the verge of the playoffs. Ain't nothing going to stop us...certainly not Corey Patterson's double off of Akinori Otsuka in the bottom of the eleventh of a game that's still two-two. The catcher Martinez bloops one into left-center and if it falls, the game's probably over. Instead, Podsednik swoops in -- I guess he's good for something -- and makes the catch. Otsuka retires the young up-and-coming outfielder Grady Sizemore, and after passing over the reliably mediocre first baseman Broussard, "Aki" ends the inning for good by striking out the journeyman Brad Snyder.

Brian Meadows, a soft-tossing 31 year old journeyman, shows how he can sometimes earn his keep by pitching a one-two-three 12th inning, though Ramon Vazquez does make a long and loud third out. Otsuka does a quick and dirty dance after a quick and clean one-two-three inning, bringing on the thirteenth frame of a game that is still 2-2.

Cleveland goes to the 34 year old veteran Armando Benitez with Podsednik, Ordonez, and Wells due up in the thirteenth, figuring that he will be more likely to have success against our three best hitters than a pitcher who gives up a hit per inning. Benitez's ERA is safely over six, but predictably enough he strikes out "Pods" and "Buddha", who would infuriate me with their incompetence but for the painful memories of Joe Borchard in the outfield.

Plus, I barely have the time to process the back-to-back strikeouts before Vernon Wells steps in.

"Backstop Martinez is pounding his glove as center fielder Vernon Wells steps in, batting one-for-five today. Benitez hit the outside corner with his stinky cheddar for strike one to both Podsednik and Ordonez, and from Victor's setup it looks as though that's where he'll aim at for a third straight batter. The right-handed Wells taps the plate, wags the bat forward one, and carefully settles in as Benitez comes to the set. The right-hander kicks and delivers a heater, Wells hacks and puts a charge in it, deep to right field! Going back is Gerut...but he's run out of room. You can...PUT IT ON THE BOARD...YESSSSSS!"

27 year old PJ Bevis, a Rule 5 draft pick one year ago, pitches the bottom of the thirteenth, retiring pinch-hitter Franklyn Gutierrez on a fly out to left and then turning the trick again on "Mr. September", center fielder Corey Patterson. Victor Martinez falls into an 0-2 hole, fouls off a pitch and then takes one low, and then takes one that he shouldn't. It's a called strike three, giving the Pale Hose win number eighty-five and the wild card spot.



CHW 3 CLE 2 (13)

WP: A. Otsuka (4-6)
LP: A. Benitez (5-6)
S: PJ Bevis (4)

Game Ball Goes To... The bullpen. Only fitting that they'd pitch five scoreless innings in the game that clinched our playoff berth.

[cknox0723]

PS - It's been a long time since I wrote this, two years and four months. I never envisioned writing that last post -- most dynasties never even get there, and with a lot of others, who cares even if they do? But, man, has this one ever been some kind of wild and crazy ride getting there. And I don't even really remember half of it. May there be many more pitches and outs and trades and contracts.

To the Pale Hose. Thank you, all, for reading and commenting and joining me for one long and grinding season and then one that's been longer, more grinding, and somehow a success beyond my wildest dreams. The apple juice is on me tonight.

[BadluckinOOTP]