Portland Raccoons (ABL)

[Westheim]

As offseason turned to preseason the Raccoons were being busy in keeping a low profile. I tried to trade on Majano for a while, but it was obvious that the only return to be expected for him was a similarly out-of-shape player with a similar or bigger financial commitment. The good news was that Majano was a 1-year commitment for a pitcher that would be under team control through 2040 and who the Raccoons hoped to expand at some point, preferably without his arm coming off.

+++

February 7 – For reasons best known to them, the Canadiens spill $6.89M over three years on SP/MR Michael Donovan (19-14, 3.36 ERA, 7 SV), a 29-year-old former Indians right-hander with exactly one major league start to his name.
March 18 – The Titans add former Aces catcher Paul Kuehn (.257, 50 HR, 264 RBI) on a 3-yr, $2.7M contract.
March 20 – The Aces trade 26-yr old OF Mike Hall (.282, 22 HR, 210 RBI) to the Bayhawks for 1B/RF Zhao-jun Da (.266, 12 HR, 58 RBI), age 37, and #50 prospect SP Steve Huffman.
March 22 – The Raccoons claim 27-yr old INF/CF/LF Matt Kilgallen (.256, 13 HR, 117 RBI) off waivers by the Knights.
March 30 – 36-year-old outfielder Justin Fowler (.276, 322 HR, 1,144 RBI), who spent ’38 with the Caps, signs a 3-yr, $4.4M contract with the Blue Sox.

+++

And the Raccoons? No transactions in early February apart from cleaning out the Beagles roster and promoting a few kids from the international complex, but no top-echelon names. Same for additional free agent signings. The Raccoons picked up left-hander Ernesto Rivera in early March on a $400k contract. Rivera, 29, had been signed by the Caps out of the Dominican Republic in ’26 and had toiled in the minor leagues ever since. He was assigned to AAA along with 25-year-old 1B Oliver Anderson, a left-handed batter that had batted .214 with no homers and 7 RBI during two cups of coffee with the Buffaloes in prior years. He was a defense-first player, which was always so dandy to have at first base. Anderson signed a minor-league contract with a major-league option.

Kilgallen comes equipped with a certified good character, high work ethos, and no room on the roster at all. He even was one of the super utility guys I was digging so hard, being able to play five positions competently, but there was no room to squeeze him on anymore. He didn’t fit in the mix of five outfielders that we weren’t going to change, and all the infield spots were taken too between Monge, Cosmo, Williams, Berto around the diamond, and Majano and Joel Hernandez on the bench. As much as I wished this lucky snatch, who had no options and would surely be lost again once waived on Opening Day, into the mix come April 5 – it was impossible.

Who else? Ben Feist signed with the Cyclones for $820k;

[Archelirion]

On the plus side, my eyes instantly wooshed over to the 'fragile' injury rating so in traditional Blighters fashion you might've gotten three weeks out of him before a season ending injury, so maybe this is for the best.

That speed however is making this smallball fan weep...

[Westheim]

2039 PORTLAND RACCOONS – Opening Day Roster (first set in parenthesis shows 2038 stats, second set career stats; players with an * are off season acquisitions):

SP Bryce Sparkes, 31, B:R, T:R (19-7, 3.15 ERA | 83-65, 3.60 ERA) – the potential Mark Roberts clone had his best season in his first year in Portland and was rewarded with a 4-year deal afterwards. Didn’t even turn into minced meat afterwards! Of course now we’re putting him into the slot for Opening Day, which has been cursed for a few years, so he’ll probably lose 20 and give up 35 homers in ’39…
SP Ryan Bedrosian *, 27, B:R, T:R (18-11, 3.81 ERA | 48-45, 4.03 ERA) – acquired in the big trade with the Rebels, this right-hander combines very good fastball, changeup, and splitter pitches and keeps it on the ground. Led the Federal League in strikeouts in 2038, and is due an actual big breakout.
SP Bernie Chavez, 30, B:R, T:R (10-12, 4.57 ERA, 1 SV | 81-67, 3.72 ERA, 1 SV) – 94mph, curve, slider, and the tendency to hang something from time to time; by now you know full well what to expect of Bernie Chavez, an ERA somewhere between not-good-enough and oh-dear-it-keeps-growing, 50 walks, 160 strikeouts, and 20+ balls disappearing into a sea of reaching arms.
SP Raffaello Sabre, 30, B:L, T:R (9-11, 3.50 ERA | 69-69, 3.74 ERA) – he won’t ever win a strikeout crown, and by now we’re entirely content with having Sabre being a steady bee working away at the opposition and with a little help from his defense he can be a very good pitcher; and then there’s times where he just can’t get anybody out. Often decent, never good enough.
SP Steve Fidler, 27, B:L, T:R (10-4, 2.61 ERA | 10-4, 2.72 ERA, 1 SV) – had a breakout season at 27, which is usually a bit of a red flag and a sure sign he’s gonna get a “One Hit Wonder” memorial baseball card in a few years. Fastball, slider, change, none overwhelming, but somehow he kept generating poor contact. Whether that translates into lasting success remains to be seen...

LR Jose Alaniz *, 28, B:L, T:L (11-7, 3.63 ERA | 35-24, 3.49 ERA) – acquired from the Miners, Alaniz has ben used as a swingman quite a lot in his career, and it’s not exactly out of the realm of possibilities that he will make starts going forwards. But for the time being he’s going to come out of the bullpen whenever the Raccoons need multiple innings.
MR Travis Sims, 26, B:R, T:R (0-0, 3.92 ERA | 4-2, 3.69 ERA) – fastball, splitter; really mostly a long man due to major control issues that might see him replaced if trouble arises – 50 walks in 78 major league innings might rightfully qualify as “dodgy”.
MR Dennis Citriniti, 30, B:R, T:R (7-2, 3.84 ERA | 13-2, 3.11 ERA, 1 SV) – run-of-the-mill right-hander that got his command issues under control and occupies a low-panic slot in the pen. The tendency to use him when behind anyway is neatly reflected in his lopsided W-L record.
MR David Fernandez, 32, B:L, T:L (4-2, 4.18 ERA, 2 SV | 30-17, 3.06 ERA, 10 SV) – for getting no love from scouts, Fernandez is a remarkably solid reliever that strikes out roughly a batter per inning and can handle both left- and right-handed batters well. The walks are a bit of a problem, but, eh, lefties, huh?
MR Mauricio Garavito, 37, B:L, T:L (4-5, 3.44 ERA, 1 SV | 37-35, 3.20 ERA, 15 SV) – left-hander with balanced splits that was claimed off waivers by the Bayhawks early in the 2029 season when Jeremy Moesker turned out to be a turd. Has it really been this long?? And will he ever go away? The Raccoons were confident enough to sign him to a new 2-year deal when David Fernandez got only one year.
SU Antonio Prieto, 28, B:R, T:R (3-3, 3.12 ERA, 3 SV | 16-14, 3.10 ERA, 7 SV) – steady setup guy that unfortunately took a step back in 2038 with six homers allowed, enabling a blossoming ERA. He also struck out more than 10 batters per nine in his age 24-25 seasons, but has been quite far from the mark in the last two years, whiffing only 52 in 60.2 innings in ’38.
CL Jermaine Campbell, 33, B:L, T:R (3-1, 2.35 ERA, 40 SV | 37-41, 2.66 ERA, 334 SV) – established closer snatched on a 4-year deal prior to last season, and also once the guy that slammed the door shut whenever we trailed the Titans in the ninth. 254 of his saves came with them, only 40 each with the Raccoons and Pacifics. Elite stuff, strong control, and he knows how to win rings, having two of them. We could use more of that sort…!

C Tony Morales, 24, B:L, T:R (.263, 10 HR, 43 RBI | .268, 32 HR, 191 RBI) – keeps turning in just slightly above average seasons, and whenever he looks like he’s about to break out, he gets hurt. He’s also been around for quite a while for turning only 25 at the end of the month. The Raccoons are still hopeful he’ll find another level of power stroke at some point.
C Jeff Kilmer, 27, B:R, T:R (.275, 13 HR, 47 RBI | .247, 20 HR, 85 RBI) – now here was a kid that we were happy for not having drowned in a barrel when it looked like that was all that could end his misery anymore. Kilmer had a breakout offensive season and is actively gnawing and sawing on the primary catcher’s chair that Morales is resting on.

1B/C Danny Monge *, 32, B:R, T:R (.299, 7 HR, 60 RBI | .301, 55 HR, 377 RBI) – the big free agent acquisition of this year is a catcher that can’t catch and is now a first baseman that can’t hit for power. Somehow, first base keeps being an endless repeat of Groundhog Day in this town…
2B/3B/SS Enrique Trevino, 31, B:S, T:R (.353, 4 HR, 40 RBI | .324, 39 HR, 723 RBI) – the magical second baseman was way too busy being on the DL in 2038 (he missed 59 games) to be of any actual help in the push for the division. Solid defender, great on base presence and ideally suited for the #2 hole, with Berto already at second base in the best of all scenarios … IF both of them stay off the DL.
2B/SS/3B Elijah Williams, 33, B:R, T:R (.242, 2 HR, 20 RBI | .260, 19 HR, 413 RBI) – versatile infielder and quirky veteran with great defensive capabilities and a matching defensive shortstop’s bat. New defensive cornerstone on the infield after the subtraction of Dave Myers over the winter. No, the Raccoons don’t know where to get a young and energetic shortstop from. Why are you asking?
3B Alberto Ramos, 33, B:L, T:R (.266, 0 HR, 45 RBI | .302, 20 HR, 543 RBI) – boy, was it ever rough at the hot corner in 2038! Alberto Ramos learned under live fire, which ended predictably badly, him costing the Critters about a win and a half with his defense. There’s no amount of stolen bases that can make up for those shenanigans. Let’s just say, Nick Brown in the olden days would have taken his head clean off. Berto resigned with the team for a quarter of the dosh he made previously, which might make us feel a little easier about his various missteps in the field and onto the DL.
2B/SS Alex Majano *, 35, B:R, T:R (.275, 0 HR, 33 RBI | .306, 29 HR, 690 RBI) – over-the-hill middle infielder that was a Gold Glover during the President Nixon administration and also won a batting title back when the Julian calendar was still in use. Assuming legal guardianship of Majano was required to get a hold of Bedrosian. At least we will only have to deal with his steady 78 OPS+ batting for one season.
3B/2B/SS Joel Hernandez *, 27, B:R, T:R (.280, 4 HR, 34 RBI | .265, 18 HR, 161 RBI) – mainly a defensive replacement and right-handed platoon option for Berto, Hernandez came aboard in a trade with the Bayhawks.

RF/LF/CF Manny Fernandez, 29, B:L, T:L (.289, 10 HR, 87 RBI | .290, 75 HR, 460 RBI) – as close to a 5-tool player as the Raccoons could ever find, especially in a draft. 2036 Player of the Year! Unfortunately he seemed to be gaining weight in all the wrong places and his power dropped badly (he hit half the homers compared to 2036-37) in ’38. Under contract through 2044, so maybe we will want to try and slim him down again…
CF/RF/3B/SS/LF/1B Jesus Maldonado, 25, B:R, T:R (.284, 9 HR, 85 RBI | .265, 18 HR, 164 RBI) – It’s hard to forget this one: .411/.431/.571 and a 2037 World Series MVP award while playing on the losing team. If you can get THAT together, you must at least make it to the All Star Game at some point, don’t you? So far no luck for Maldonado in that regard, but at least he batted above league average for the first time in the regular season in ’38. Very versatile, which is his undoing, since he could probably win a Gold Glove in centerfield if he wasn’t plugging holes elsewhere all the time.
RF/LF Troy Greenway, 27, B:L, T:L (.289, 42 HR, 132 RBI | .289, 121 HR, 380 RBI) – he was the reason people stuffed the ballpark last September – and he didn’t disappoint, rallying late to shatter the Raccoons’ ancient mark for home runs in a single season, which had stood at 38 bombs for over 40 years. With Royce Green now officially a thing of the past, the question is whether Greenway can hit even more bombs than that … and maybe even hit .300 again. Not outstanding as a defender, but he can use a fat person’s shopping scooter out there, we don’t care. Just keep the homers rolling in.
LF/RF/CF Ed Hooge, 29, B:L, T:L (.296, 8 HR, 45 RBI | .269, 36 HR, 194 RBI) – no matter what Ed Hooge does, it’s never enough for a permanent starting assignment, isn’t it? The one time he reached a qualifying number of plate appearances was in 2036, when *everybody* was on the DL. Solid allrounder that doesn’t really excel at any one thing, and so is permanently branded as fourth outfielder.
LF/RF Brad Ledford, 28, B:L, T:L (.270, 10 HR, 50 RBI | .274, 30 HR, 141 RBI) – was mainly used as a pinch-hitter since it is genuinely hard to fit him into the lineup and he’s having the same so-so defense that Greenway brings to the table… but doesn’t hit 40 homers, even if prorated to a full season’s worth of PA.

On disabled list: Nobody.

Otherwise unavailable: Nobody.

Other roster movement:
SP Jared Ottinger, 26, B:R, T:R (7-8, 5.30 ERA | 25-26, 4.31 ERA) – optioned to Alley Cats; the horror with “Ottie” never ended in ’38, even after an assignment to the penal battalion in St. Petersburg. He just kept being whacked around mercilessly, and never found into a groove anymore.
1B Chiyosaku Maruyama, 29, B:R, T:R (.250, 1 HR, 1 RBI | .244, 8 HR, 58 RBI) – waived and DFA’ed (once more); disappointment as a batter, had only a token September assignment in ’38. Like last year, we don’t particularly care whether anybody takes him. That is virtually the same description he got last year.
2B Jose Brito, 24, B:R, T:R (.255, 2 HR, 5 RBI | .248, 3 HR, 10 RBI) – optioned to Alley Cats; we can’t even keep the versatile players around, so there’s definitely no room for the one-dimensional infielders with meager defense…
3B/SS/2B Jon Caskey, 25, B:R, T:R (.139, 0 HR, 2 RBI | .206, 1 HR, 5 RBI) – optioned to Alley Cats; if that was a business card he delivered in ’38 it was hand-scrawled by a three-year-old high on sugar with crayons in all the wrong colors.
1B/2B/CF/LF/SS Matt Kilgallen *, 27, B:R, T:R (.265, 5 HR, 36 RBI | .256, 3 HR, 117 RBI) – waived and DFA’ed; quirky super utility player I’d love to keep on the roster – but that would have required to get rid of Alex Majano, which was not possible. Was claimed off waivers by the Knights two weeks before the season and will doubtlessly be lost on waivers just the same.
LF/RF/CF Alex Castro, 28, B:R, T:L (.391, 1 HR, 3 RBI | .391, 1 HR, 3 RBI) – optioned to Alley Cats; had a flashy major league debut with an incredibly small sample size (27 PA) late in the 2038 season. Good on defense, but his bat has more holes than the .391 average will prompt you to wager for. Way not good enough to break into our outfield.

Everybody not mentioned by now has already been waived or reassigned during the offseason.

OPENING DAY LINEUP:

The Raccoons’ offense was very good last year and we claim that we have refined it for this season. Nevertheless, the lineup stays mostly the same, and there aren’t gonna be any unusual tricks. The major change is actually that a lefty bat (Stedham) is replaced with a righty one (Monge), helping with balance against southpaw starters.

Vs. RHP: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Maldonado – C Morales – 1B Monge – SS Williams – P
(Vs. LHP: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – CF Maldonado – RF Greenway – C Kilmer – 1B Monge – LF M. Fernandez – SS Williams – P)

Joel Hernandez for Berto will be a regular variant against lefty starters, probably with Maldonado and Monge sliding up the lineup. Hooge and Ledford will still due frequent starts in the outfield. Maldonado is the main replacement for Monge at first base, and while Danny Monge brings catcher’s gear, he will not be counted upon to actually start behind the dish as long as either Kilmer or Morales can still crawl out there at the start of an inning. It is possible though for him to get behind the plate during a game for additional pinch-hitting and double switch flexibility.

OFF SEASON CHANGES:

BNN has declared the Raccoons to have won the offseason, packing on a sturdy 10.9 WAR through a series of painstaking moves, although there’s a couple of asterisk attached. For starters, Alex Majano counted for 1.2 WAR, which meant he cost more than a million per extra win and I remained wickedly unhappy with his presence on the roster. Kilgallen, who was put on waivers during the roster crunch, was worth 2.4 WAR and will probably be lost to some wayward fifth-place team, maybe in our own division…

Top 5: Raccoons (+10.9), Condors (+9.2), Thunder (+5.3), Warriors (+5.0), Cyclones (+3.8)
Bottom 5: Rebels (-4.7), Wolves (-6.1), Miners (-6.9), Knights (-7.6), Buffaloes (-8.7)

The rest of the division hovered around the midfield. The Titans, Loggers, and damn Elks all lingered at around +2 WAR. The Crusaders lost as many WAR, and the Indians lost four.

If WAR wasn’t such a useless stat I’d be confident to actually match the damn Elks this year.

PREDICTION TIME:

I should stop predicting 102 wins for the team, because they’re never gonna get there with the rotation still filled out with guys that we’ve seen go ho-hum and occasionally bust for a number of years now. BNN is of course pulling the same stunt, so I’ll just point there and shrug.

There’s such a big IF behind the rotation again this year that it’s hard to be confident. The subtraction of Yeom Soung also hurt the bullpen. The lineup is pretty much the same and there is every reason to expect them to put up similar numbers as they did last year. But it was not enough to out-hit the pedestrian pitching last time round, and it probably won’t be this time, either.

The worst thing is that the damn Elks won a title and the Raccoons can’t fit all the pieces together and pretty soon will tumble into the abyss again, laden with badly-aged contracts and with very few prospects that instill any hope…

PLAYER DEVELOPMENT:

The Raccoons slipped a bit in the farm rankings, which comes as such a shock. We are rated 13th this time around. Our seven ranked prospects (three in the top 100) from last year are down to six, and only two in the top 100.

Last year’s #41 Jon Loyola was traded away in the Bedrosian trade, and #97 Jon Caskey is no longer eligible. #151 Ivan Cantu was in the package for Jose Alaniz.

2nd (+3) – AA SP Nelson Moreno, 20 – 2035 international free agent signed by Raccoons
85th (new) – INT SP Jose Arias, 17 – 2038 international free agent signed by Raccoons
137th (+36) – A SP Matt Kaplan, 21 – 2037 second-round pick by Raccoons
153rd (-28) – AA SP Vince Burke, 22 – 2037 first-round pick by Raccoons
190th (new) – AAA MR Zack Kelly, 23 – 2035 fourth-round pick by Raccoons
200th (-62) – AAA OF/2B Cory Cronk, 25 – 2032 third-round pick by Raccoons

Kelly was taken by the Scorpions in this year’s rule 5 draft, but was returned on Opening Day.

The franchise top 10 are completed by INT C Ruben Gonzalez, 17 (IFA, 2038), AAA CL Brent Clark, 24 (5th Rd., 2036), INT C Jose Ortiz, 18 (discovery), and AA SP Jake White, 21 (2nd Rd., 2038);

The top 5 overall prospects this year are:

#1 CHA AA SP Pablo Vazquez (was #3; also was #1 in ‘37)
#2 POR AA SP Nelson Moreno (was #5)
#3 CHA AA SP Emmanuel Lizarraga (was #11)
#4 SAC A 1B/LF/RF Eddie Moreno (was #16)
#5 WAS AAA RF/LF Eduardo Avila (was #7)

Last year’s #1, Oklahoma righty Sebastian Parham exceeded rookie limits while posting a 2.58 ERA for the Thunder in a swingman role. The same was true for his teammate, C Jesus Adames, who was ranked #4 in last year’s edition. #2 corner infielder John McDonell remained with the A-level Farmington Cosmos of the Scorpions, dropping to #13.

Next: first pitch.

[Westheim]

Raccoons (0-0) vs. Loggers (0-0) – April 5-7, 2039

Opening Day! Well, actually the Tuesday after, but we weren’t gonna be picky here. Fans packed a cold and moist ballpark, not being able to wait to get their first in-person disappointment of the year. In were the Loggers, who had lost the season series to the Raccoons last year, 10-8. The Loggers had some revamped pitching, but would be able to rely on the same odd batters that had already tortured the Raccoons last year, or in Danny Valenzuela’s case, eight years.

Projected matchups:
Bryce Sparkes (0-0) vs. Alfredo Vargas (0-0)
Ryan Bedrosian (0-0) vs. Sergio Piedra (0-0)
Bernie Chavez (0-0) vs. Joe Feltman (0-0)

Only right-handers up in this series.

Game 1
MIL: RF Valenzuela – 3B Paul – SS Del Vecchio – LF J. Nelson – C F. Gomez – 1B Ronan – CF Leyva – 2B V. Acosta – P A. Vargas
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Maldonado – C Morales – 1B Monge – SS Williams – P Sparkes

The first inning of the season saw Sparkes get two grounders before walking the dastardly Ted Del Vecchio. Justin Nelson grounded to third base, where Alberto Ramos immediately unspooled his own lowlight reel from ’38 and fired the ball well past Danny Monge for a 2-base error. Luckily, Elijah Williams handled Felipe Gomez’ roller to strand two in scoring position…! Sparkes walked Victor Acosta with two outs in the second, gave up a single to the opposing pitcher, but struck out Valenzuela to strand two more. Vargas was soon out of the game with a hamstring problem, Carlos Padilla replacing him in the second inning before a Raccoon had even reached base.

Top 3rd, Jared Paul opened the inning with a double over the head of Maldonado, who also overran Justin Nelson’s single for an extra base. That allowed Paul to score on that play, and Nelson reached second base to easily score on Gomez’ double right after, giving the Loggers a 2-0 lead. While the Raccoons didn’t get a base hit until Manny Fernandez singled in the fourth, the Loggers splattered Sparkes for another two runs in the fifth, again hitting a double over Maldonado to get it started. This time Del Vecchio was the guy that beat Maldonado. Sparkes couldn’t get anybody out, really, and was yanked after five innings. The Coons remained pathetic, while Del Vecchio was ejected in the sixth after striking out against Dennis Citriniti and voraciously disagreeing with the umpire. Kenta Yoshioka replaced him; but for the Raccoons it only got worse. They were still being 1-hit through six, while the Loggers loaded the bases against Travis Sims in the seventh with a Gomez infield single (…), a walk to Rico Leyva, and Acosta reaching on another Ramos error. At that point the Raccoons had four errors, one hit, and no runs. Dan Torri’s pinch-hit sac fly made it a 5-0 game, and Valenzuela singled off Jose Alaniz, 6-0, with Acosta thrown out at third base by Troy Greenway on that play.

Greenway walked to begin the seventh against Rob Clack, Maldonado singled, and Tony Morales grounded out to advance them. Danny Monge got the first RBI with a sac fly, with Valenzuela bouncing off the fence in rightfield on the catch. He then left the game in obvious discomfort, with Chris Sealock replacing him. Nevertheless, the Raccoons looked beaten. They arrived trailing by five still in the bottom 9th, with righty Raul de la Rosa pitching for Milwaukee. Greenway grounded out, but Maldonado socked a homer, 6-2. Morales walked, Monge doubled, and suddenly the tying run was in the on-deck circle. Brad Ledford batted for Williams and slapped a gapper into left-center that scored two and chased de la Rosa for left-hander Logan Bessey. Alex Majano batted for Ed Hooge in the #9 hole (the pitcher was at #3 for the Critters after a double switch earlier) and walked, making Berto the winning run in the box. He lobbed a 2-2 pitch over Yoshioka’s glove for a single, and the bags were full for Cosmo, who grounded out to short. That scored a run, but the Raccoons were still one run behind, and Joel Hernandez was the last guy off the bench, hitting for David Fernandez. 2-1 pitch and a fly to center… and… Leyva caught it……. 6-5 Loggers. Ramos 2-4, BB; Maldonado 2-4, HR, RBI; Ledford (PH) 1-1, 2B, 2 RBI;

SIGH.

Game 2
MIL: RF Valenzuela – 3B Paul – SS Del Vecchio – LF J. Nelson – C F. Gomez – 1B Ronan – CF Sealock – 2B V. Acosta – P A. Piedra
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Maldonado – C Kilmer – 1B Monge – SS Williams – P Bedrosian

The Loggers scored first again, Joseph Ronan hitting a gap triple leading off the second and scoring easily on Sealock’s groundout, 1-0. Acosta walked, Piedra singled, and Valenzuela walked to fill the bases, but Paul struck out and Del Vecchio flew out to center to strand three. Piedra struck out five the first time through, allowing singles to Greenway in the second and Berto in the third, that both led nowhere. The game then crawled along until the fifth inning, which saw Danny Monge lead off the bottom half with a single. He advanced on Williams’ grounder, but not Bedrosian’s. Berto singled to left with two outs, and Monge was sent around to score, tying the game at one. Justin Nelson called for the trainer after making the throw to home plate and also left the game with back problems, giving the Loggers three players with day-to-day injuries after a game and a half. To add insult to injury, Cosmo singled up the middle, scoring Berto who had reached second base on Nelson’s ill-fated throw, and that gave Portland their first lead of the year, 2-1. Cosmo stole second, but Manny Fernandez grounded out, leaving him on.

Bedrosian finished six, striking out nine, but due to the pile of early traffic was also already just over 100 pitches and would not come back for the seventh. Mauricio Garavito came on to begin the seventh specifically for Valenzuela, but gave up a triple to right-center. Prieto conceded the tying run on a sac fly, and that was that… Bottom 7th, Hooge and Berto reached the corners with 1-out singles off righty Cesar Perez. Trevino hit a fly to center, with Yoshioka getting nothing on the throw to home plate, allowing Ed Hooge to score for another lead, 3-2. The Critters filled the bags with soft singles by Manny and Greenway, but Maldonado flew out, leaving three on, and they left another two when Berto popped out to end the eighth. Jermaine Campbell took over from Prieto for the ninth (making him the last non-SP player on the roster to make his maiden appearance in ’39). He got three in a row, although Jared Paul hit a sizzling liner in particular, but one that went right at Manny Fernandez. 3-2 Coons! Ramos 3-5, RBI; Greenway 2-4; Hooge 1-1, BB;

No longer winless! Squee! Now I can eat again! (climbs into a box of donuts)

Game 3
MIL: RF Valenzuela – 3B Paul – SS Del Vecchio – LF J. Nelson – C F. Gomez – 1B Ronan – CF Leyva – 2B V. Acosta – P Feltman
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – CF Maldonado – RF Greenway – LF Ledford – C Morales – 1B Monge – SS Williams – P B. Chavez

Nelson was back in there with the balky back and hit a 2-out RBI double plating Valenzuela to again have the Loggers on the board first, this time in the opening frame. Nelson hit another double with two outs and Del Vecchio on first in the top 3rd; Bernie Chavez walked Gomez to fill them up, but got Joseph Ronan to ground out to Ramos, who was kind enough to not throw another ball away… While the Raccoons scattered three hits and walk walks in the first four innings as inefficiently as possible, the Loggers made it 2-0 on a solo homer by Jared Paul in the fifth. Bernie looked more like a problem than a solution, and the Loggers were knocking eight hits off him in five innings, while he struck out only three batters. He did bunt Elijah Williams to second after the shortstop’s leadoff single in the bottom 5th, and Berto hit a soft blooper to Valenzuela’s feet to put the tying runs on the corners. Cosmo popped out, Maldonado got knocked with a 2-2 pitch, and Greenway came up with the bases loaded, and grounded out to Paul. UGH.

It didn’t get any better from here. Acosta and Feltman (…!) hit singles off Chavez to begin the top 6th, and Valenzuela got a sac fly to extend their lead to 3-0. Chavez was yanked after a walk to Paul, with Travis Sims inheriting a sticky situation, but got a double play grounder from Del Vecchio to bail out. Feltman was still at it in the bottom 7th, but the tying run came to the plate after Williams reached on an error and Berto hit a 1-out double. Cosmo shot a ball through between Acosta and Ronan for a 2-run single, then rushed for third base on Maldonado’s single up the middle. That brought up an RBI-less Troy Greenway (3-for-10) with the tying and go-ahead runs on the corners… and he struck out. Stunned disbelief in the crowd, but Brad Ledford came to the rescue, socked a hard double off the wall in left that Nelson misplayed, and both runners scored to flip the score, 4-3! When the Loggers sent lefty Chris Cooper against a hitless Morales, Majano batted for him with two outs, but grounded out to first.

Prieto had pitched two innings in the second game and was not available – the Raccoons had to go to Citriniti against the bottom of the order. Leyva and Acosta made outs, but he walked Dan Torri in the #9 hole, leading to David Fernandez coming out against Valenzuela. The Loggers aggressively went to right-hander Matt Cooper to pinch-hit, but he grounded out to Berto, ending the inning. Williams and Manny Fernandez reached for the Raccoons in the bottom 8th, but couldn’t get them in with their 1-2 pokers, bringing back Campbell. Paul grounded out to Joel Hernandez at third base, Del Vecchio popped out, and Nelson ran a full count before whiffing. 4-3 Critters! Ramos 3-5, 2B; Trevino 2-5, 2 RBI; Williams 2-4; Sims 1.2 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 2 K, W (1-0);

Well, you can’t say we’re playing boring baseball… (drops towel dripping with sweat into a bucket full o’ them)

Raccoons (2-1) vs. Thunder (4-0) – April 8-10, 2039

The Raccoons were first in stolen bases and last in defense a few days in, but those were all so-so stats. What was the Thunder’s 4-0 worth? They had swept the Falcons to begin the year, allowing all of FOUR runs in the 4-game series. How much was that info worth? The Thunder had lost 99 games on average for the last three years, yet the Falcons made them look invincible. Maybe that was a Falcons problem. The Raccoons had won the season series five years in a row, taking six of nine in ’38.

Projected matchups:
Raffaello Sabre (0-0) vs. Aaron Bryant (0-0)
Steve Fidler (0-0) vs. Brian Frain (0-0, 1.42 ERA)
Bryce Sparkes (0-1, 7.20 ERA) vs. Chris Inderrieden (1-0, 0.00 ERA)

Bryant would be our first southpaw opponent of the year, and also the only one in the first week. The Thunder had already lost Nate Shamhart (.286, 0 HR, 0 RBI) to a hip injury; the 24-year-old would miss the first half of the season.

Game 1
OCT: LF E. Moore – 2B Martell – RF Marz – 1B D. Cruz – C Adames – CF Ringel – SS Kuhn – 3B Nieblas – P Bryant
POR: CF Maldonado – 2B Trevino – C Kilmer – RF Greenway – 1B Monge – LF M. Fernandez – 3B Hernandez – SS Williams – P Sabre

Singles by Ethan Moore, Danny Cruz, and Jesus Adames made it 1-0 on Sabre in the first inning, so the Raccoons were yet waiting to score the first run in a game this season… At least they answered with two, getting Cosmo on with a single, and then scoring runs with a Kilmer double and a Greenway single, getting both of those guys their first RBI’s of the season, and the team a 2-1 lead. The lead didn’t last, because the Raccoons did not tack on, and because Sabre hit Orlando Nieblas with a 2-2 pitch, one out, and runners already on the corners in the fourth, then couldn’t get the pitcher out. Bryant’s grounder allowed Adames to score and tie the game. At least Moore grounded out to strand two in a 2-2 game.

Portland kept poking; Manny Fernandez and Joel Hernandez hit back-to-back doubles in the bottom 4th to take a 3-2 lead, but Sabre also kept leaking, with Adames ripping a game-tying RBI double right after in the top 5th. Like Chavez, Sabre got whacked around for eight hits in five innings. He was left with a no-decision, going six before being hit for with Ledford when the Critters had Manny and Williams on the corners and two outs in the bottom 6th. Ledford flew out, and that was that.

After Garavito and Sims both logged three outs – with Sims cleaning up Danny Cruz’ leadoff single in the eighth off Garavito by getting a double play grounder from Adames – the Raccoons put the go-ahead run on second base with nobody down in the bottom 8th when Greenway doubled to center. That was their seventh double in the game, against a lone single (also hit by Greenway)! And yet, the game was still tied. Danny Monge was walked intentionally before the Thunder brought a fresh lefty in sophomore Jake Bonnie. Manny lined out to Al Martell, and Joel Hernandez grounded out. The Coons stuck with soft-hitting Elijah Williams because he still countered Bonnie – and were rewarded with a 2-run single past Jimmy Kuhn, taking a 5-3 lead! Majano popped out to end the inning before the Raccoons sent Prieto against the bottom of the order; we weren’t going to use Campbell three days in a row on a cold start. Prieto nailed Kuhn, but Nieblas hit into a 6-4-3 to clean up. A groundout by Raul Sanchez ended the inning. 5-3 Critters. Kilmer 2-3, BB, 2 2B, RBI; Greenway 2-4, 2B, RBI; M. Fernandez 2-4, 2 2B;

First game not decided by a single run this year. What a rout!

Hey, Hoogey! (points at outfielder with three donuts crammed onto his pokey black nose) – Don’t play with your food!

For the Saturday game, the Raccoons would give lineup assignments to Ed Hooge and Alex Majano, the only ones still missing from being penciled into the starting lineup. They would give a day of rest to Maldonado and Williams. Troy Greenway was likely to get rested on Monday, where the Raccoons expected to face lefty Danny Orozco. That lined up Cosmo for a day off on Sunday – the usual play when the Raccoons start with a longer string of games into the season (nine this year) - *everybody* gets a day off! (Does not include pinch-hitting appearances. Batting helmets sold separately. Void where prohibited and in Mississippi.)

Game 2
OCT: LF E. Moore – 2B Martell – 1B D. Cruz – C Adames – SS Kuhn – RF C. Anderson – CF Heskett – 3B Nieblas – P Frain
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Hooge – 1B Monge – C Morales – SS Majano – P Fidler

Neither team had more than one hit or a run through three innings. But once more the Raccoons would have to play it from behind once the Thunder put Ethan Moore and Danny Cruz on the corners in the fourth inning and Fidler served up a 3-run homer to Adames. The Coons then found room and time to fit in three errors before getting another three outs from the Thunder; Majano fumbled to put Jimmy Kuhn on base, who stole second and reached third on a Morales throwing error. Berto fumbled yet another grounder for an error in the fifth. None of these plays resulted in another run, which was the only reason I was not at the big window screaming obscenities while emptying the blunderbuss into some brown-clad player’s bottoms.

The Raccoons had Fernandez and Greenway on in the fourth and did nothing with them, then began the fifth with Tony Morales getting nicked. Majano singled. Fidler bunted, with Frain trying to go to third base, but spiking the throw, the ball bouncing off Kuhn’s forearm and almost getting away to a degree that would have tempted Tony Morales to go for home plate. The bases were loaded, there were no outs, and the Raccoons needed the runs dearly. They got on the board with a wild pitch… with two outs, after Berto and Cosmo had both hit poor fly outs to shallow left, with no hope of sending Morales against Ethan Moore’s arm. Manny worked a walk, re-stocking the bags for Greenway, who had yet to go deep, but flew out to Moore shy of the warning track, stranding three. Instead, Adames homered off Fidler in the sixth to make it 4-1. Moore’s RBI triple off David Fernandez added a run in the seventh, and Adames and Kuhn ripped back-to-back doubles off Citriniti for yet another run in the eighth. Portland scored in the bottom 8th, again without getting an RBI when Greenway singled with Manny on first base. Fernandez went for third base, Craig Anderson’s gross throwing error sent Nieblas up the leftfield line, and Manny scored, 6-2, with Greenway to second. Joel Hernandez hit for Hooge and walked, chasing Brian McAlllister for Alan Fleming, who allowed a single to Monge on the only pitch he threw, loading the bases. Jake Bonnie was the third pitcher of the inning, with Maldonado batting for Citriniti in the #7 hole deserted by Tony Morales in a double switch earlier. He hit into a 4-6-3 double play, which allowed Greenway to score, but it was now 6-3 and still no RBI for a Raccoon. Majano grounded out to end the inning. Oklahoma added an unearned run in the ninth, Alaniz giving up two singles to Martell and Cruz after a capital throwing error by Trevino had put Raul Sanchez on base. The Raccoons kept twitching in the bottom 9th against former #1 prospect Sebastien Parham. Kilmer drew the leadoff walk, and Manny Fernandez hit a 2-out homer to right-center. The Thunder went to right-hander Gary Martin with two outs on the board, and he got a groundout from Greenway to end the game. 7-5 Thunder. M. Fernandez 2-3, 2 BB, HR, 2 RBI; Greenway 2-5;

The Raccoons made four errors in this game and now had nine for the season and that in five games. No other team had more than six in six games.

Game 3
OCT: LF E. Moore – 2B Martell – RF Marz – 1B D. Cruz – C Adames – CF Ringel – SS Kalinowski – 3B Nieblas – P Inderrieden
POR: 3B Ramos – CF Maldonado – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – 1B Monge – C Morales – 2B Majano – SS Williams – P Sparkes

For the first time on the year, the Raccoons scored first, and it took a Bryce Sparkes triple with two outs in the bottom 2nd to do it, which was one of those footnotes that made you seriously doubt that the team could even break .500 at the end of the year, let alone poke the damn Elks for first place. Majano scored on the play, and Berto grounded out to strand Sparkes at third base. Another first was Troy Greenway going yard with two outs in the bottom 3rd, a solo shot to extend the lead to 2-0. Danny Cruz countered with a solo homer of his own in the fourth, narrowing the tally to 2-1 again. That was one of only two hits Sparkes allowed through six innings, but he walked three against six strikeouts. My whiskers twitched – I could already smell the Curse of Opening Day manifesting!

Sparkes was back for the seventh, facing Adrian Ringel on 85 pitches. He retired the 6-7-8 in order, but two of them hit liners right at an outfielder; Ringel went out to Greenway, and Manny shagged Nieblas’ drive. Josh Kalinowski struck out in between. A tack-on run would have been nice, but the Raccoons didn’t get anything cobbled together. Sparkes stayed in to face righty PH Rick Urfer to begin the eighth, got to 0-2, then gave up a roller on the infield that nobody could make a play on (or couldn’t be bothered, like Alex Majano standing around with half-eaten hot dogs in both paws), and the Thunder had the leadoff man aboard. Garavito replaced Sparkes, only for Anderson to hit for the left-handed Moore. HARD grounder at Ramos, I screamed like a girl, but Berto turned a 5-4-3 to clean up the bases…! Garavito got Martell to ground out, too, and the inning was over. Bottom 8th, 27-year-old righty and rule 5 pick Bobby Klopotek would oppose the 5-6-7 batters. Monge, Morales, and PH Brad Ledford went down in order. Campbell was up against the 3-4-5 in the ninth, with Cosmo coming into the game at second base and batting ninth (which would be second if the Raccoons had to bat again). John Marz got ahead 3-0 before poking and grounding out, sending a stunned “Hhh!!” through the ballpark, and there was some thud heard from the Thunder dugout, probably his manager fainting and crashing into the bat rack. Cruz flew out to center, but Adames, batting .583, eeked out a single. Campbell carved up Ringel on strikes to end the game anyway. 2-1 Raccoons. M. Fernandez 3-4; Sparkes 7.0 IP, 3 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 3 BB, 7 K, W (1-1) and 1-3, 3B, RBI;

In other news

April 5 – Arriving in the bottom 9th on two hits and trailing 3-0, the Cyclones load the bases against TOP CL Jon Bleich (0-1, 45.00 ERA, 1 SV) before getting a bases-clearing, game-tying triple from PH Ken Gibbs (.333, 0 HR, 3 RBI). The Buffaloes go to Michael Zabek (0-0, 0.00 ERA), who throws a single pitch – a wild one to allow Gibbs to score and give the Cyclones a 4-3 walkoff win.
April 6 – PIT SP/MR Juan Vela (1-0, 0.00 ERA), not exactly a regular starter in prior seasons, holds the Capitals to three hits in a 4-0 shutout.
April 7 – The Scorpions will be without OF Alfonso Cedillo (4-for-6, 1 HR, 3 RBI), their 22-year-old sophomore outfielder who has suffered an abdominal strain.
April 8 – The Bayhawks erased a 3-run deficit in the ninth inning to force extras on the Crusaders, then engage in six scoreless innings before a hit batter and two singles give them the winning run, courtesy of 2B Dan Schneller (.375, 0 HR, 1 RBI) for a 16-inning, 6-5 victory.
April 8 – Pittsburgh beats L.A., 1-0 in 10 innings. The only run scores on a wild pitch by LAP CL Doug Clifford (0-2, 7.71 ERA).
April 8 – After scoring only four runs in a 4-game sweep at the hands of the Thunder, the Falcons tear into the Indians for a 17-1 win. 40-year-old 1B Brett Blades (.267, 0 HR, 3 RBI) has the best day in a solid team effort, landing three hits and driving in three, both tying the team-high marks.
April 10 – Miners 1B Danny Santillano (.308, 3 HR, 7 RBI) has four hits, including two homers, and drives in five runs in a 17-3 shellacking of the Pacifics.

FL Player of the Week: NAS OF Sean Ashley (.450, 3 HR, 6 RBI)
CL Player of the Week: OCT C Jesus Adames (.583, 3 HR, 7 RBI)

Complaints and stuff

The offense – decent. Not great, not even good, but decent. The pitching – bruised and shaken. The defense – looked a lot like Hamburg, 1943.

Leading the team in wins is Travis Sims, who also took the W on Friday, pitching a scoreless inning for the 5,200th regular season win in franchise history.

To my surprise, Matt Kilgallen was *not* claimed on waivers and was assigned back to St. Petersburg. Chiyosaku Maruyama also went unclaimed – no surprise there.

Fun Fact: The only team with a worse defensive efficiency than the Raccoons after one week of the season are the Gold Sox.

The Gold Sox are 0-6, having been bombed for six runs a game. Only three of the runs were unearned for them, making for some highly unsightly ERA’s. Notably, all but four of their pitchers have FIP values of 3.40 or better.

For Portland, the difference between some ERA and FIP values is even starker. Only two Critters have a FIP over three, all starters: Sparkes (3.32), Fidler (4.65), and Bernie (5.65).

[Westheim]

MILESTONE FRANCHISE WINS

Exact dates before 1993 are mostly unavailable because Chad spilled his cocoa over the notes, rendering them illegible, and I can’t reconstruct happenings otherwise.

#100 – (June 1978) – No clue at all. Kevin Hatfield saved a 2-1 win against the Loggers.
#200 – (May 2, 1980) – One of relievers Bill Craig (unlikely), Tony Lopez, Paul Cooper. A 6-5 walkoff falls into the Raccoons’ paws when Ralph Nixon is hit by a pitch with the bases loaded in the bottom 11th in a game against the Crusaders.
#300 – (August 1981) – Carlos Morán is torn up by the Loggers who lead 6-0 in the fourth inning, but the Loggers suffer a 6-run implosion, capped by a Daniel Hall grand slam in the bottom 7th before Mark Dawson walks off the Raccoons with a ninth inning RBI double, handing the win to Wally Gaston.
#400 – (April 1983) – In his debut for the Raccoons, free agent acquisition Shayne Nealon does not allow a run over six innings while the Raccoons won 6-0, with two RBI’s apiece by Matt Workman and Mark Dawson, and Jason Short walks three times.
#500 – (April 1984) – Jerry Ackerman went seven innings in a 2-2 tie in Vancouver when Cameron Green provided the margin of victory in the 3-2 win with a solo home run in the top of the eighth; Ackerman won only two games the entire season, and only 33 in his career;
#600 – (May 1985) – With Logan Evans departed after six innings, Victor Castillo and Eddie Gonzalez slap back-to-back RBI doubles off the Indians’ Alex Miranda in the eighth inning, with long-time reliever Wally Gaston earning the win for the Raccoons.
#700 – (June 1986) – Miranda and the Indians again: Odwin Garza’s major league career had few highlights, but his RBI triple was the first blow against Alex Miranda in a 5-run second inning for the Raccoons. Vicente Ruiz gives up all the Indians’ runs in an 8-3 Raccoons win.
#800 – (July/August 1987) – Kisho Saito cruises for five innings before getting roughed up, but by then the Raccoons had already scored eight runs including big home runs by Daniel Hall and Tetsu Osanai in a 10-4 win over the Aces.
#900 – (August 1988) – The Raccoons are out-hit 11-7, commit three errors, but the Canadiens leave 16 runners stranded in a 5-2 Raccoons win. Jerry Ackerman is chased trailing 2-1 in the top 6th, but a 2-run homer by Tetsu Osanai flips the score in the bottom of the same inning and gives the win to Emerson MacDonald.
#1,000 – (September 1989) – Right-hander Jason Turner has trouble all day, but somehow keeps the Loggers from scoring in a 4-0 victory in Portland, with Tetsu Osanai and Bobby Quinn driving in runs;
#1,100 – (April 1991) – David Brewer ruins Jason Turner’s day with two hits and 3 RBI that keep the game tied into the ninth inning in Vancouver before Neil Reece smashes a grand slam off pitcher Alejandro Lopez that hands the 7-3 win to reliever Roberto Carrillo.
#1,200 – (April 1992) – Raimundo “Pooky” Beato holds down the Falcons for five innings with a 5-0 lead before getting torn to shreds in the sixth inning. The Raccoons still hold on to win 6-4.
#1,300 – (May 1, 1993) – Boston’s Santiago Perez gives up four runs in the middle innings while Miguel Lopez goes seven shutout innings before being routed out of the eighth, but the pen holds the Titans to two runs in a 4-2 win.
#1,400 – (May 18, 1994) – After two blowout losses in the first two games in the series, the Raccoons hold the Titans tied long enough to force an extra inning escapade that is favorably resolved when Grant West’s two scoreless innings coincide with an errant pickoff throw giving Alejandro Lopez an extra base in the bottom 12th. Matt Duncan scores Lopez with a single, and the Raccoons walk off with a 6-5 victory.
#1,500 – (June 9, 1995) – All is well for Scott Wade in a matchup with the Scorpions’ young phenom Steve Rogers in this series opener, at least through eight innings. His shutout blows up in a hurry in the ninth inning, and besides Wade, Grant West, Daniel Miller, and Tony Vela are all tagged with runs as the Scorpions score a half dozen in the inning only to fall short, 7-6 Raccoons.
#1,600 – (June 23, 1996) – Somehow the Raccoons managed to work a 4-game losing streak into their 108-win campaign in 1996, and it ended with a 12-3 crushing of the Thunder (never mind the 14-2 crushing to the Raccoons in the series opener). Jose Rivera barely manages to go five innings and is hit for in the sixth, with the go-ahead run scoring just in time on a Vern Kinnear sac fly to net him the W.
#1,700 – (July 24, 1997) – Also known as Miguel Lopez’ near-no-hitter, the left-hander whiffs eight in a complete game 1-hitter that is only soiled by the Crusaders’ Armando Diéguez’ home run with one out in the eighth inning. The Raccoons win 5-1.
#1,800 – (September 18, 1998) – With the Raccoons and Knights, two desperate teams were playing out the stretch for a very long time: no scoring in the 11th inning. When Neil Reece draws a pinch-hit bases-loaded walk off the Knights’ Yosuke Memoto, 1-0, the win falls into the lap of Gabriel De La Rosa, who had pitched two innings, whiffing four.
#1,900 – (May 30, 2000) – While Randy Farley plates the winning run himself on a groundout that brings home Daniel Richardson, most of the damage in a 4-2 win over the Aces, also ending a 5-game losing streak, is done with home runs by Conceicao Guerin and Clyde Brady.
#2,000 – (August 26, 2001) – Ralph Ford pitched seven innings of 3-run ball on the final day of a dreadful homestand, as the Coons squeezed out a 4-3 win over the Aces, the winning run scoring in dramatic fashion on a Conceicao Guerin liner to center that Dick Bell appeared to catch before it bounced in, but the umpires called it a trapped ball regardless, allowing Brent McLaughlin to score the winning run;
#2,100 – (May 3, 2003) – Although Felipe Garcia gives up all four runs the Canadiens plate in this game, and actually trails 4-1 after six innings, but two Jerry Dobson errors and an Al Martin home run in the bottom 6th pull out the game as the Raccoons win this one 6-4.
#2,200 – (June 6, 2004) – A 7-4 win in a Sunday rubber game against the Crusaders only briefly interrupts the Raccoons’ general mid-season collapse. The Raccoons chase NY’s Kelly Fairchild early while Ralph Ford holds off his own demise long enough to net the win.
#2,300 – (September 3, 2005) – Brad Sheehan’s RBI double is the lone tally in the early September game against the Indians, which gives the win to Ralph Ford, who pitches seven scoreless innings.
#2,400 – (April 22, 2007) – Two roughed up starters and a lot of mid-game madness produce a clogged scoreboard in a Sunday game with the Knights. Raúl Fuentes is chased early, but the Raccoons rally from a 6-1 deficit and score ten unanswered runs to get away with an 11-6 win that is credited to Lawrence Rockburn, who pitches two innings in relief.
#2,500 – (May 2, 2008) – Ten strikeouts and one run allowed in seven innings isn’t enough for Kelvin Yates to win the big milestone, since he only got one small ball run in support. Lawrence Rockburn picks up the 2-1 win over the Loggers in relief when Nelson Chavez plates Matt Pruitt with a PH single.
#2,600 – (May 13, 2009) – Javier Cruz is struggling badly in an interleague game against the Stars, walking five in 5.1 innings. However, some early extra base magic with a Jose Correa triple and home runs by Adrian Quebell and Luke Black scratch out enough runs, combined with good defense and poor RISP hitting by the Stars, for the Raccoons to win 4-2.
#2,700 – (May 13, 2010) – Exactly one year after Cruz locked down #2,600, it was on Nick Brown to notch the next 100 on the road. Not only did he strike out seven and allowed only four hits and one unearned run against the Stars, no, he also had two base hits and an RBI for full participatory credits in the Coons’ 5-2 win over Dallas. This would also be the last of eight consecutive starts he won from Opening Day on that year.
#2,800 – (May 24, 2011) – The final line didn’t exactly tell much about how the Bayhawks whacked Jong-hoo Umberger from left to right in this game, being consistently robbed of their hard-hit balls by the Raccoons defense. Umberger made it into the eighth inning and allowed a lone run in the 3-1 Raccoons win.
#2,900 – (June 15, 2012) – Struggling offensively, the Raccoons required a ninth-inning home run by Jason Seeley off Indy’s Helio Maggessi to put this one into the W column on Draft Day. The 2-1 win went to Pat Slayton, pitching in relief.
#3,000 – (July 7, 2013) – On the last day before the All Star break, Hector Santos overcomes Melvin Dunn’s second-inning homer to eventually grab the W on seven innings of 3-hit ball against the Titans, with the Raccoons producing just enough to squeeze out another 2-1 win.
#3,100 – (August 10, 2014) – Again, Nick Brown does it all: not only does he hold the Indians to four hits and a single run over eight innings, no, he also strikes out nine and hits a bases-clearing double to procure his own 4-1 victory, and the 3,100th for the Coons.
#3,200 – (August 29, 2015) – It was only the third career start for Jeff Magnotta, and he lasted only five and a third innings, and left the game with the bases loaded in the sixth, but Ron Thrasher somehow managed to get out of the mess and protect a 2-1 lead. The Raccoons would eventually beat the Knights, 3-1.
#3,300 – (October 2, 2016) – The milestone goes under a bit as Jonathan Toner strikes out *18* Titans in an otherwise meaningless 9-0, 4-hit shutout on Closing Day. Neither team finishes within single digits of the first-place Crusaders.
#3,400 – (April 13, 2018) – Jonathan Toner is at it again on Friday the 13th, but takes advantage on big offense in a messy 8-5 win over the damn Elks, allowing four runs in six innings and change. Ronnie McKnight and Joey Mathews hit big homers for the offense, in the case of the latter pretty much the only hard hitting he’d ever do as a Raccoon.
#3,500 – (April 19, 2019) – Tadasu Abe whiffs 11 Knights, but is already out of the game when the Raccoons take a 3-2 lead they will not surrender anymore on Jayden Maness’ bases-loaded walk to Mike Denny. The game is actually more memorable for the near-meltdown in the ninth inning, and with the game ending with Cookie Carmona’s tumbling, blatant rob of Kyle Mims in the depths of centerfield, stranding the bases loaded and saving the W for right-hander Jeff Boynton.
#3,600 – (May 5, 2020) – It’s Jonathan Toner again, this time in the middle of a 3-game sweep of the damn Elks. Pinch-hit for after six laborious innings of 1-run ball, Jonny takes his third milestone win in the 6-2 game. Manny Fernandez and R.J. DeWeese lead the offense with three hits each.
#3,700 – (May 31, 2021) – Brett Lillis takes the W in relief on a bullpen day triggered by Hector Santos lasting only two outs for a tweaked hammy. The Raccoons then out-slug the Knights for a 7-5 win. Lillis goes two scoreless innings with three strikeouts.
#3,800 – (July 5, 2022) – Josh Stevenson and Cookie Carmona lead the offense with three hits and 2 RBI apiece as the Raccoons whip the Loggers, 9-3, behind rookie Rico Gutierrez. The lefty allows all runs, two earned, in 6.2 innings of work to better his record to 3-1 and the Coons’ to 43-40. It’s only downhill from there for either of them.
#3,900 – (September 22, 2023) – ”Tragic” Travis Garrett only has to hold out for five innings in a 16-2 whomping of the Crusaders, but actually goes seven in one of his more decent efforts, and contributes 3 RBI himself. Elias Tovias drives in six with two homers, and Manuel Cardona plates four runs, or almost half of all the RBI he ever got as a Raccoon before being wrapped up in the trade for Ryan Corkum after the season.
#4,000 – (May 16, 2025) – Mark Roberts has one of the more forgettable outings of his triple crown season, getting roughed up for three runs early and not lasting past the fifth inning against the Loggers. Omar Alfaro’s 3-run homer in the sixth flipped the score and handed the milestone to Ricky Ohl, and Alfaro had an age named after him pretty much for that dinger alone, which stood up in a 6-5 victory.
#4,100 – (May 27, 2026) – Jarod Spencer doubles home Alberto Ramos in the ninth inning of a heretofore scoreless game against the Falcons, the only run in the game as it turns out. Dan Delgadillo went seven scoreless for no reward, with the W in relief going to Kevin Surginer.
#4,200 – (July 9, 2027) – Kyle Anderson delivered the definition of a quality start, six innings for three runs, against the Loggers, and drives in the go-ahead run himself with a single that scores Colombian Yeshiva Rambam High School alumnus Juan Magallanes.
#4,300 – (June 26, 2028) – Another milestone started by Mark Roberts that didn’t get into the books easily. Roberts leaves trailing after allowing four runs to the Thunder, but eighth-inning homers by Tim Stalker and Abel Mora first tie the game, then give the Raccoons the lead. Ricky Ohl gets another milestone for a scoreless top 8th in the 5-4 win.
#4,400 – (July 15, 2029) – It is mostly an offensive effort that staves off a 4-game sweep to the damn Elks in the first series after the All Star Game as the Raccoons crumble from contention. Matt Nunley has four hits, but nobody has more than Tim Stalker’s two RBI in a 9-6 win. Rin Nomura is supplied with eight runs, but can’t make it out of the sixth before a cascade of sub-par relief almost allows that game to get out of control, too…
#4,500 – (August 28, 2030) – Another Mark Roberts start, but again no cigar, although he holds his own in 7.1 innings of 5-hit ball in what turns out to be a combined shutout of the Knights, but takes 11 innings to complete. Matt Nunley drives in the go-ahead run in the top of the 11th, with the 2-0 win credited to Matt Stonecipher.
#4,600 – (May 18, 2032) – Playing out the string in May, far under .400, the Raccoons win a wild one from the Indians, 11-9. Tom Shumway is torched for seven runs before the Raccoons get a single runner, but then they rally forcefully with Tim Stalker, Nate Hall, Wilson Rodriguez, and Justin Marsingill all chipping in multiple RBI. John Hennessy gets the W rather randomly.
#4,700 – (July 3, 2033) – Travis Coffee pitches two shutout innings out of the pen for the 6-4 win. Rico Gutierrez is dismal for four innings. Tom Hawkins, Alberto Ramos, and Justin Marsingill stick their heads together for a bunch of singles against the Indians to make Coffee a winner. It is the last W of his major league career.
#4,800 – (July 31, 2034) – A 4-3 win over the Thunder after an 0-6 week sees newly-acquired Kurt Wall hit a 2-run single in the first, getting a mediocre Raffaello Sabre support early. Sabre doesn’t get past five innings, but it’s enough to scratch the W.
#4,900 – (September 5, 2035) – 7.2 innings, nine strikeouts, two runs - Gilberto Rendon has a good one against the damn Elks, Justin Marsingill has three hits and 2 RBI, and Wallace drives in as many, going unretired with a homer. It’s the week after Wallace was Player of the Week batting 10-for-19 and two weeks after he ended an 0-for-33 rot.
#5,000 – (September 18, 2036) – A 7-6 win over the Loggers; Chris Wise blows the lead belonging to Jared Ottinger, then gets the W himself when Manny Fernandez plates Tim Stalker with a sac fly in the ninth inning.
#5,100 – (September 29, 2037) – Jared Ottinger allows no runs and only one hit in six innings, still not enough for a milestone win thanks to a bullpen meltdown. Ed Hooge drives in the first two of three runs in the bottom 8th that give the Raccoons a 6-3 win with a pinch-hit double in place of Dennis Citriniti.
#5,200 – (April 8, 2039) – Reliever Travis Sims goes to 2-0 in the Coons’ fourth game of the season with a scoreless inning while the Raccoons get two runs on Elijah Williams’ single to win 5-3.

+++

Ralph Ford and Jonny Toner hold the record for milestone wins with three apiece.

Only five other pitchers have picked up pairs, including three full time relievers: Nick Brown, Wally Gaston, Miguel Lopez, Ricky Ohl, and Law Rockburn.

The list of players with one milestone win is long: Jerry Ackerman, Kyle Anderson, Raimundo Beato, Jeff Boynton, Roberto Carrillo, Dennis Citriniti, Travis Coffee, Javier Cruz, Gabriel De La Rosa, Randy Farley, Felipe Garcia, Travis Garrett, Rico Gutierrez, John Hennessy, Brett Lillis, Emerson MacDonald, Shayne Nealon, Rin Nomura, Jose Rivera, Vicente Ruíz, Raffaello Sabre, Kisho Saito, Hector Santos, Travis Sims, Pat Slayton, Matt Stonecipher, Kevin Surginer, Jason Turner, Jong-hoo Umberger, Scott Wade, Grant West, aaaaaand Chris Wise;

[Westheim]

I don’t know, Nick, why was the mayor mean to you? – Oh, no. – You don’t say. – Uh-uh! – So what were their actual reasons for not allowing you do bulldoze the historic old town to build a parking lot?

Raccoons (4-2) vs. Knights (1-5) – April 11-13, 2039

The Raccoons had won the season series three years in a row and the Knights didn’t have the best start there, so how about starting another 7-2 year? They had scored a paltry 13 runs, second-fewest in the CL, and had given up an average 22 runs. Their starters had been much better than their explosive bullpen, which was pushing an ERA near six.

Projected matchups:
Ryan Bedrosian (0-0, 1.50 ERA) vs. Danny Orozco (0-1, 5.14 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (0-0, 5.06 ERA) vs. Terry Garrigan (0-0, 0.00 ERA)
Raffaello Sabre (0-0, 4.50 ERA) vs. Chris Lulay (0-1, 3.38 ERA)

That would be left-handers on either end of the set. As threatened, Troy Greenway got his day off in the opener.

Yes, Nick, Troy Greenway will get the day off. – Well, it’s not my fault that you are only in town for a day. – Maybe should come by more oft-……. Let me restate that.

Well, they might win anyway!

Game 1
ATL: 2B Matos – C Horner – LF Inoa – 1B LeClerc – 3B Maneke – CF N. Nelson – SS Zesati – RF Dahl – P Orozco
POR: CF Maldonado – 2B Trevino – C Kilmer – LF M. Fernandez – 1B Monge – RF Ledford – 3B J. Hernandez – SS Williams – P Bedrosian

Or maybe not. Nick Valdes’ mood didn’t get any better from Ryan Bedrosian’s first inning, and neither did mine. Jesus Matos opened with a single, Adam Horner walked, and the game quickly escalated from there. Justin LeClerc hit an RBI single, Chris Maneke walked the bags full, and Nate Nelson slapped home two more with a single through the left side. That was a 3-0 hole in an instant. Manny Fernandez to the rescue – the Coons put Cosmo and Kilmer on base in the bottom 1st and Manny emptied a baseball into the rightfield stands for a 3-run homer, taking it all away again from the Knights. Next inning, Jesus Maldonado was hit in the paw with a fastball and did a funny dance behind the dish, shaking the appendage that was beaming with pain. Now it was Dr. Padilla to the rescue. It was weird seeing a medical professional actually bothering about the player’s injury, poking the paw and the claw, and pulling and tugging, and Maldonado winced at almost all of it. He had to come out of the game – Ed Hooge replaced him. All of that was with Elijah Williams on third base and tow outs – Cosmo would come up and hit an RBI single to make it 4-3 Critters. Kilmer popped out then, and the lead went away when Bedrosian gave up three singles in the third inning. Former Coons farmhand Vincent Zesati got the 2-out RBI single. Bring back Manny – leadoff jack in the bottom 3rd, 5-4 lead!

Both me and Valdes held on for dear life with Bedrosian as the Raccoons dragged him through five with the 5-4 lead, and he continued to be in to begin the sixth, brushing Nate Nelson to put the leadoff man on. Zesati hit into a double play, after which it was bedtime for Bedrosian with lefty Mike Dahl up (and more were atop the order). David Fernandez got a groundout after entering in a double switch – Hernandez out, Majano in at short, Williams to third base, which was not exactly a defensive improvement. Fernandez would retire five batters over three different innings in maintaining the 5-4 lead while the offense had fallen asleep. Prieto then struck out two to complete the eighth. Valdes kept bugging me to insert Troy Greenway, but I wasn’t going to raise the flag with the big cannon yet. The bottom 8th finally got Valdes his wish – with two outs and nobody aboard against Rich Ray, Greenway grabbed the stick hitting for Prieto. He saw one pitch, blew a fastball over the fence for an insurance run, and Valdes hugged and kissed me while I tried to shake him off. Campbell then retired three in a row to put the game away. 6-4 Raccoons. Trevino 2-4, RBI; M. Fernandez 3-4, 2 HR, 4 RBI; Greenway (PH) 1-1, HR, RBI; Williams 3-4; D. Fernandez 1.2 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 2 K;

The good news amounted to Nick Valdes leaving happy, and LEAVING, and also that Maldonado’s paw was not broken, but still kinda thick on Tuesday. He was day-to-day and probably wasn’t going to make it into the next two games. Thursday was off, and Dr. Padilla thought he should be good as new on Friday.

That is all, Dr. Padilla? – No, he’s a wimp, a pussy, some “Back in Korea, he’d be shot as a traitor?” – Why do you ask me why I ask you that?

Game 2
ATL: 2B Matos – C Horner – LF Inoa – 1B LeClerc – 3B Maneke – CF N. Nelson – SS Zesati – RF Celaya – P Garrigan
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – 1B Monge – C Morales – CF Hooge – SS Williams – P Chavez

Monge singled home Manny with two outs in the bottom 1st, which marked only the second time all year Portland scored first. Tony Morales then grounded out, stranding two, and Monge did the same in the third inning, striking out (along with Greenway) after Cosmo and Manny reached scoring position with one out. The next batter at the plate was Luis Inoa, and he hit a homer off poor ol’ Bernie to tie the score at one. Lorenzo Celaya hit another leadoff jack the following inning, and there we were, trailing again. The Knights then loaded the bases on a single, a walk, and a Williams error (there’s that glove that won him the position!), but somehow Bernie struck out Chris Maneke without getting blasted out of the ballpark altogether. He then opened the bottom 5th with a single, Berto walked, and Cosmo cracked a shot to right that JUST made it over the fence for a 3-run homer and a 4-2 lead!

All was well through six. When the seventh came, Bernie walked Garrigan to begin the inning (…!!), then allowed a single to Matos. *Yank!* – here came Garavito. Adam Horner and Luis Inoa struck out, and then the Raccoons went to Travis Sims for Justin LeClerc. The thought was to get another K from the righty, who instead hit a loud one to right – but it wasn’t long enough *and* Greenway made his way there to catch the ball on the warning track, ending the inning. The Raccoons kept trying to blow the lead – the Knights hit loud flies off both Sims and Alaniz in the eighth inning, both into outs though. Nevertheless, Alaniz remained in the game for the ninth inning, getting the save opportunity with Campbell having been out two days in a row again. Nelson Velez flew out easily, but Matos singled with one out in the ninth. Adam Horner flew to left-center, no problem for Manny. Inoa grounded out to Cosmo, and the Raccoons bagged another close one. 4-2 Raccoons. Trevino 1-2, 2 BB, HR, 3 RBI; Monge 2-4, RBI; Alaniz 1.1 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 0 K, SV (1);

No Maldonado was no bueno against a left-hander, but it was what it was.

Game 3
ATL: 2B Matos – C Horner – LF Inoa – 1B LeClerc – 3B Maneke – CF N. Nelson – SS Zesati – RF Celaya – P Lulay
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – C Kilmer – RF Greenway – 1B Monge – LF M. Fernandez – CF Hooge – SS Williams – P Sabre

Monge singled home Trevino for a 1-0 lead in the bottom 1st, which was almost a flashback, but at the same time the Critters could have had much more if Berto hadn’t been caught stealing before Cosmo doubled and Kilmer walked. Monge singled home Trevino once more in the third inning, also with two outs; Cosmo and Kilmer had both walked this time, with Trevino stealing his fourth base of the season (Berto was 0-for-2). Manny Fernandez added an RBI double, Hoogey and Williams both slapped RBI singles to shallow right, and the inning only ended with Sabre’s groundout. The score was 5-0 and the Knights had only two hits off Sabre at that point, so maybe this would be an easy win for once.

The Knights had two more hits in the middle innings, both of the infield variety. One ball died near the third base line well short of Berto, and the other one was ever so slightly deflected by a reaching Sabre, leaving it unplayable for Cosmo behind him. But it was hard work – Sabre threw 97 pitches through six while not even piling up walks (two) or strikeouts (three). He came back for the seventh, but had only the two right-handed batters Nelson and Zesati scheduled, with Alaniz already warming up again. Both batters flew out easily to Greenway, and Celaya popped out to end the inning against Alaniz. The Raccoons’ offense had shut up after the 4-spot, but Greenway hit a triple with two outs in the bottom 7th. There was nobody on, and Monge didn’t get him in either, grounding out to short. Alaniz then walked Matos and struck Horner in the knee, leaving him hobbled and replaced by backup Elliott Kennett. Prieto came on with two outs and got a grounder from LeClerc, and that was the last time the Knights seriously threatened in the game or the series. 5-0 Critters. Monge 2-4, 2 RBI; Sabre 6.2 IP, 4 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 3 K, W (1-0);

First W with a margin of more than two runs this year!

And then there was an off day on Thursday.

And then the nightmare began anew.

Raccoons (7-2) @ Canadiens (8-1) – April 15-17, 2039

After a 1-1 start, the damn Elks had won seven in a row, which was better even than the Raccoons’ 7-1 after losing their opener. They were first in runs scored with 6.7 markers per game, which was scary, while these teams tied for second in fewest runs allowed. Our offense was not nearly as pounding – we were scoring only 4.3 runs a game. No need to go into all the accumulated hatred between both teams, or that they had scheduled the awarding of their championship rings for THIS SUNDAY – the Coons had won the season series three years in a row, 10-8 each time, and that was what I was looking at to keep myself calm.

Projected matchups:
Steve Fidler (0-1, 6.00 ERA) vs. Eric Weitz (2-0, 1.80 ERA)
Bryce Sparkes (1-1, 3.75 ERA) vs. Michael Donovan (0-0, 4.50 ERA)
Ryan Bedrosian (1-0, 3.86 ERA) vs. Corey Booth (1-1, 1.59 ERA)

Donovan would be the only southpaw in their rotation, but they had also been off on Thursday, so they might skip him to get another right-hander with a miniscule ERA into the series, which would be Matt Sealock (2-0, 2.40 ERA).

Game 1
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Maldonado – 1B Monge – C Morales – SS Williams – P Fidler
VAN: 2B Sprague – 1B J. Lopez – CF Outram – C Alba – RF R. Phillips – SS Cabral – 3B Schneider – LF M. Reyna – P Weitz

There weren’t many righty bats in that Elks lineup and I was already rolled into a ball as soon as the game started, back on my couch at home and with Honeypaws and plenty of booze well in reach. For good reason – Glenn Sprague and Fernando Alba hit homers in the first off Fidler, Ramon Cabral added a leadoff jack in the bottom 2nd, and maybe I should play the ******* lottery, because I predicted him getting that “One Hit Wonder” baseball card eventually… The Raccoons scored a run in the third, Greenway singling home Cosmo, but were probably not going to win much with that launchpad on the mound. Monge doubled to lead off the fourth, then scored on Elijah Williams’ single with one down. Fidler was not yanked yet, because the game was technically close at 3-2, and team policy was it to not needlessly burn the bullpen right after a rare off day. Fidler bunted over the runner, but Berto grounded out, and the Raccoons remained trailing.

Both teams kept putting the odd runner on base in the middle innings, but neither could break through. The Elks stranded a pair in scoring position in the fifth, but then finally knocked out Fidler in the sixth with Sprague’s 2-out single cashing Miguel Reyna, who had doubled to right, 4-2. Garavito restored order and got four outs, but the Raccoons couldn’t get further than putting Maldonado at second base in the eighth and leaving him there. Weitz held out for eight, then was replaced with Tim Zimmerman, who had yet to allow a run in 4.2 innings. Ed Hooge hit for Garavito in the #8 hole, singling to right. Hooge stole second, and the tying runs were on the corners when Alex Majano dropped a soft single in front of Reyna and his murder arm. That brought up the top of the order with nobody out. Berto whiffed. Cosmo whiffed. Manny whiffed. 4-2 Canadiens. Williams 2-3, RBI; Hooge (PH) 1-1; Majano 1-1;

At least I didn’t whiff on the booze. It spun me right to sleep just as the NWSN guys signed off.

Game 2
POR: CF Maldonado – 2B Trevino – C Kilmer – RF Greenway – 1B Monge – LF M. Fernandez – SS Majano – 3B Hernandez – P Sparkes
VAN: 2B Sprague – 1B J. Lopez – CF Outram – C Alba – RF R. Phillips – SS Cabral – 3B Schneider – LF M. Reyna – P Donovan

The only tally in the early innings was Ryan Phillips doubling home Alba after a leadoff walk in the bottom 2nd. The Raccoons had two bloop hits early on, then did absolutely nothing after that. Getting a third base hit took them until the sixth inning – and it wasn’t like Donovan was overpowering them, whiffing just three in 5.2 innings before being taken deep by Jeff Kilmer to tie the game. Vancouver responded with an Alba leadoff bomb in the bottom of the inning, and I did the only sensible thing, drinking from the bottle of Capt’n Coma, but being kind enough to offer Honeypaws a glass to lap from.

Sparkes lasted seven decent innings, but left on the hook; he was hit for when his spot came up in the eighth. Berto grabbed a bat against Donovan, who was only 80 pitches against entirely harmless Critters. Ramos singled up the middle on 3-1, putting the tying run back on base. After Maldo struck out, a wild pitch advanced Berto to second, but he would have scored anyway when Cosmo ripped a triple into the corner on the next pitch, taking Sparkes off the hook and offering him a W if either Kilmer or Greenway could get him in. Kilmer was walked with intent, after which the damn Elks sent the right-handed Zimmerman against Troy Greenway, which didn’t make the most sense, because Greenway wasn’t exactly killing lefties. And then he hit a 1-2 pitch into a 4-6-3 double play, and Zimmerman left the mound with a smug grin that made me scream like hell, and surely led one neighbor or another to call the cops on me again. Citriniti and David Fernandez combined for the bottom 8th, but the game remained tied and the latter stayed in the game for the bottom 9th – no shortage of lefty bats on that pink-dressed team. One of which, Ryan Phillips, hit a walkoff homer. 3-2 Canadiens. Kilmer 2-3, BB, HR, RBI; Ramos (PH) 1-1; Sparkes 7.0 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 3 BB, 5 K;

(is at the apartment door) Yes, Sir, I screamed obscenities. – No, Sir, I am not intoxicated. – I call this “a little tipsy”, Sir. – Well, did you *see* the Raccoons play?? Or were you too busy shoving your face with donuts?? – Yes, I do object to a breathalyzer test! – No, take your- NO! (screams like a girl)

Game 3
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – CF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – 1B Maldonado – RF Ledford – C Morales – SS Williams – P Bedrosian
VAN: 2B Sprague – 1B J. Lopez – CF Outram – C Alba – RF R. Phillips – 3B Schneider – SS Sibley – LF M. Reyna – P Booth

I was still trying to get the ink off my paws as the Sunday game began after being very roughly handled on the police station. At least this other guy in the cell shared his pipe with me. His name was “Pink Sky” or something. Or maybe he just said that he had pinkeye, it’s hard to tell, he had bitten off most of his tongue years ago.

ANYWAY. There was baseball being played, and the brown-clad team continued to do so very badly. Sprague reached with an infield single to begin the bottom 1st, Johnny Lopez took Bedrosian deep, and I wondered whether the Rebels had a return policy. Jerry Outram hit a bomb in the third, 3-0, and it was just at all not worth it. (calmly mixes in a few gummy bears with his booze)

Troy Greenway tied the game in the fourth then, hitting a blast with Cosmo and Many on base and nobody out. Bedrosian, the sucker, didn’t last five, and didn’t last with the tie, either. Outram and Alba went to the corners with base hits in the bottom 5th, and Phillips’ groundout brought Outram home, 4-3. Brian Schneider’s 2-out single ended Bedrosian’s third mucky start, with Alaniz bailing out of the inning when he got a grounder from ex-Coon Ross Sibley. Manny Fernandez then opened the sixth with a triple in the gap off Corey Booth, putting the tying run on third base *and with nobody out* and after a few unproductive games he also reached a .400 batting average again, two weeks in. Troy Greenway remained everybody’s favorite with a game-tying RBI single, score even at four, but Maldonado hit into a double play to kill the inning.

The Raccoons then hung too long with Alaniz, who shuffled the bags full in no time in the seventh inning. Prieto replaced him, but gave up an RBI single to PH Alex Perez. Miguel Reyna popped out and the inning fizzled out, but the Raccoons *could* *not* *get* *ahead* …!! (keeps stomping on the floor, certainly to the annoyance of another neighbor).

Top 8th, Cosmo hit a leadoff double to become the tying run in scoring position. Manny flew out, Greenway grounded out, and it was all so hopeless, until Maldonado *did* come through with a 2-out single, tying the game *again*. He stole second, but Ledford grounded out, and another chance was ******* wasted. OH YOU DARE TO COME HOME, BOYS!! … YOU DARE!! … Prieto got two outs in the bottom 8th before staring at Outram, who was 4-for-4. Just walk him, I say. Or hit him between the ******* eyes. No, Prieto pitched to him. First pitch, comebacker, inning over…! Nobody reached in the ninth except Brian Schneider, who was nailed by David Fernandez with two outs, but Perez flew out and the game went to overtime. Good! More agony!

Lefty Alexander Lewis had already tossed the ninth for Vancouver and retired the Raccoons again in the 10th… except that Manny reached on a throwing error by Sprague with two outs. Greenway struck out, while the bottom 10th saw PH Jacob Kolbe single off Travis Sims with one out. Sprague walked, prompting disgusting scarecrow Jesse LeJeune to run for Kolbe. Lopez popped out, bringing up Outram. Walking him was not such a great idea now, with two already on. The Raccoons went to Mauricio Garavito, last lefty hanging around, who got a K to extend the game…! The top 11th saw Dusty Kulp pitch for the damn Elks, and the bags loaded up accordingly on a Maldonado single and walks drawn by Hooge and Kilmer. Berto batted with two outs, but grounded out to Sprague to strand all the runners. The Elks got a 1-out Ramon Cabral double off Citriniti in the bottom of the inning, but were equally inefficient. What’s more, the Raccoons were almost out of hurlers. Only Campbell was left in the pen. Citriniti was thus not going to be relieved when Outram was at the plate again with two outs and Lopez on first in the bottom 12th. Sometimes, Dennis, you gotta man up! That’s right – I don’t want to see any tears out of your googly black eyes as this 430-footer makes its way to Saskatchewan. 7-5 Canadiens. Ramos 2-6; Trevino 2-6, 2B; M. Fernandez 2-6, 2B; Greenway 2-6, HR, 4 RBI; Maldonado 2-5, RBI;

In other news

April 11 – The Crusaders’ Julian Ponce (1-0, 0.00 ERA) 2-hits the Thunder in a 7-0 win for New York.
April 11 – Vegas middle infielder Chris O’Keefe (.083, 0 HR, 0 RBI) will miss three weeks after separating his shoulder in an on-base collision.
April 12 – The stellar start of DEN OF/1B Rich de Luna (.407, 0 HR, 0 RBI) short-circuits with a groin strain that will put him on the DL for six weeks.
April 12 – Boston’s OF Willie Vega (.200, 1 HR, 4 RBI) was going to miss a month with torn thumb ligaments.
April 13 – LVA RF/LF Jose Platero (.217, 1 HR, 3 RBI) also hits the DL with a sore back and will be shut down for a month.
April 15 – The Loggers’ SP Alfredo Vargas (1-0, 2.04 ERA) 2-hits the Crusaders in a 1-0 win.
April 15 – SFB SP Josh Long (1-0, 0.72 ERA) strikes out ten Thunder and pitches a 2-hit shutout in a 6-0 win.
April 15 – In less stellar news for the team, Bayhawks OF Edgardo Balderrama (.375, 1 HR, 5 RBI) has a serious concussion and is expected to be out until September.
April 15 – LAP SP Justin Osterloh (0-1, 1.80 ERA) is out for a full year with a shredded flexor tendon in his elbow.
April 16 – The Buffaloes tie their game with the Rebels in the ninth inning and walk off in the 15th on back-to-back doubles by Bob Mancini (.216, 0 HR, 1 RBI) and Felix Marquez (.319, 2 HR, 5 RBI) for a 5-4 win.
April 16 – CIN SP Matt Diduch (1-0, 2.13 ERA) is headed for Tommy John surgery at age 36 with a torn UCL and will miss at least 12 months.

FL Player of the Week: PIT CF/LF Kevin Burch (.327, 2 HR, 4 RBI), hitting .435 (10-23) with 2 HR, 4 RBI
CL Player of the Week: MIL INF Ted Del Vecchio (.390, 2 HR, 7 RBI), batting .524 (11-21) with 2 HR, 6 RBI

Complaints and stuff

(releases a loud belch)

Well, that was ****. *hcks!* Alllleast I have my … my my … my booze and my … (accidentally knocks Honeypaws off the armrest of the couch) and my washing bear…! *hcks!* Where is he… (peeks over armrest) Oh there you are Honeypaws. (points at the door) RUN, YOU’RE FREE!!!

(gets cozy in the cushions again) Uncle Sid always said I’ll never become anything. (giggles) Sucker! Didn’t know that you can always become drunk after failing the harrrrest!

(stirs contents of a glass with a chocolate-covered claw) This drink needsss more gummy bears innit. And more staples.

*hcks!*

Fun Fact: The Raccoons got swept in three tight games while never using their best pitcher.

(opens mouth)

(faints into cushions)

[Westheim]

Raccoons (7-5) @ Indians (4-9) – April 19-21, 2039

The Indians’ problem was mostly not scoring; and with “not” I mean “not”. They had scored 28 runs so far in 13 games, which worked out to just over two per game. Oh well, we’d send Bernie and Fidler after them… Batting .197 as a team was bad enough you’d think, but they were also allowing 5.4 runs per game, which made you wonder how they won four games in the first place. The Raccoons had won the season series last year, 11-7.

Projected matchups:
Bernie Chavez (1-0, 3.97 ERA) vs. Justin Kaiser (1-2, 6.97 ERA)
Raffaello Sabre (1-0, 2.13 ERA) vs. Joe Robinson (0-1, 6.17 ERA)
Steve Fidler (0-2, 6.17 ERA) vs. Arnie Terwilliger (1-2, 5.71 ERA)

Three southpaws!? Will wonders ever cease?

Oh well. Both teams had been off on Monday, so changes could be made.

Game 1
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – C Kilmer – RF Greenway – CF Maldonado – 1B Monge – SS Williams – P Chavez
IND: CF D. Gonzales – RF M. Ochoa – 3B Hutson – 1B Dodson – C E. Thompson – SS Johnston – LF Cassell – 2B Bainer – P Kaiser

Whoever these people were, David Gonzales and Mario Ochoa hit singles off Bernie in the third inning. A walk to Pat Dodson filled the bases, and Elliott Thompson drew another one to push the tying run across; that was exactly how I imagined this game to go. Somehow Ryan Johnston struck out instead of hitting a 2-out slam… The Raccoons had initially taken the lead on hits by Cosmo and Kilmer in the first inning, then had seen Danny Monge thrown out at home in the second, and Berto stranded after a leadoff double in the third.

Top 5th, Bernie opened with a single, and Berto also zipped a ball through between the middle infielders. Cosmo hit into a double play, which was such a relief to see, but Manny Fernandez hit a 2-out triple to right to break the 1-1 tie after all. The Indians opted to walk Jeff Kilmer to bring up Troy Greenway, who had hit – maybe they needed the reminder – 42 homers last year. Of course this was a matchup thing, but Greenway still slapped an 0-2 pitch through the middle for an RBI single, 3-1. Maldonado, in a rut, grounded out to short to end the inning. The next inning, the Indians played Kilmer the other way; after Cosmo hit an RBI double with two outs and Williams and Ramos on base, the Coons had two in scoring position with first base open. The Indians walked Manny Fernandez with intent, then sent right-hander Manuel Herrera after Kilmer. Portland didn’t hesitate to send Brad Ledford as pinch-hitter, but he struck out to strand three, and I could already feel a comeback budding. The lead would continue to grow though, thanks to Greenway socking a leadoff jack in the seventh, 5-1, and then a Maldonado single and two wild pitches by Herrera. Bernie Chavez drove the centerfielder in with a groundout. On the mound, Chavez logged only one more out before allowing straight singles to the 1-2-3 batters in the bottom 7th, as well as a run. Garavito would bail him out with a grounder and a K before the Indians could do more damage. The Raccoons ended up tacking on single runs in the eighth (Maldonado with the RBI) and ninth (Cosmo), while the Indians were limited to an unearned run sponsored by Elijah Williams’ fumble in the ninth inning, but didn’t find a way back into the game. 8-3 Critters. Ramos 3-5, BB, 2B; Trevino 3-6, 2B, 2 RBI; M. Fernandez 3-5, BB, 3B, 2B, RBI; Kilmer 1-2, BB, RBI; Greenway 2-5, HR, 2 RBI; Maldonado 2-5, RBI; Monge 1-2, 3 BB; Chavez 6.1 IP, 9 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 6 K, W (2-0) and 2-3, RBI;

Game 2
POR: CF Maldonado – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – C Kilmer – RF Ledford – 1B Monge – SS Williams – 3B Hernandez – P Sabre
IND: CF D. Gonzales – RF M. Ochoa – 3B Hutson – 1B Dodson – C E. Thompson – SS Johnston – LF Cassell – 2B Bainer – P J. Robinson

Out of absolutely nowhere, Elijah Williams hit a 3-run homer in the second inning to put the Raccoons in front in this game. Kilmer and Ledford had reached base ahead of him. That was also all the early scoring, with Sabre’s ERA dipping into the 1’s after a scoreless first. Like Bernie on Tuesday he also hit two singles himself, with the latter one coming to lead off the fifth inning. Cosmo and Manny soon joined him, loading the bags with one out, and Jeff Kilmer beat David Gonzales in center for a 2-run double, 5-0. Ledford hit a liner to left, getting robbed when Ryan Johnston caught the ball at the highest he could possibly leap, and after Danny Monge walked to fill the bags again, Williams ripped a double to left for another two runs. Joel Hernandez was walked intentionally before the Indians brought lefty Cesar Castillo to ring up Sabre, who had started the 4-run inning. Raffaello Sabre went on to pitch seven innings on 99 pitches before being hit for in the top 8th; he allowed only three hits, but one of them was a Pat Dodson solo homer in the bottom 7th. Both teams continued to put runners on, but in the six half-innings from the sixth through eighth, both teams hit into two double plays each to kill any and all offense… minus that Dodson homer. Jose Alaniz and Dennis Citriniti got the last six outs for Portland to put another one in the W column. 7-1 Raccoons. Kilmer 2-4, BB, 2B, 2 RBI; Ledford 2-5; Williams 3-4, HR, 2B, 5 RBI; Majano (PH) 1-1; Sabre 7.0 IP, 3 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 5 K, W (2-0) and 2-3;

And then, no third left-hander! The Indians instead sent Jake Jackson (0-3, 4.91 ERA) into the Thursday game, which for the Critters was the last game of the road trip.

Game 3
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – 1B Maldonado – CF Hooge – C Morales – SS Williams – P Fidler
IND: CF D. Gonzales – RF M. Ochoa – 3B Hutson – 1B Dodson – C E. Thompson – SS Johnston – LF Cassell – 2B Bainer – P J. J. Jackson

Fidler walked two in the opening inning, but got Ochoa to hit into a double play in between, then walked both Gonzales and Dan Hutson *again* in the third inning. Ochoa this time only hit into a fielder’s choice, but at least Dodson kept making the last outs… The Raccoons’ offense was absent early, but hopefully ignited with Troy Greenway’s solo homer in the fourth inning. It was his fifth of the year – already building a lead in the team race! Elliott Thompson drew a fifth walk off Fidler in the bottom 4th, but this also led nowhere since the Indians couldn’t stop being no-hit in the weirdest way. Hutson ended the charade with a leadoff jack in the sixth, tying the game at one. The next inning, Jeremy Bainer hit a bomb off Fidler to take a 2-1 lead for the home team. Oh come on, boys! Show some spine! Nope, the bottom of the order was retired real fast in the eighth inning. The bottom 8th then brought three on and no outs on an Ochoa double off David Fernandez before Prieto filled the bases with a Hutson single and a walk to Dodson. Thompson hit into a double play, 4-6-3, getting another run home before Johnston popped out to strand Hutson at third base. The Raccoons brought the top of the order to the plate in the ninth inning, facing former Loggers right-hander Alex Banderas and his 1.80 ERA. Berto led off with a single to right. Cosmo flew out, Manny whiffed, but Greenway dropped in a baseball for a double, putting the tying runs in scoring position for Jesus Maldo- no, actually, we’d rather have Brad Ledford pinch-hit with the lefty stick. He singled to right, but the Critters only got one run before Cyril Campisi in rightfield made threatening motions with the baseball and Greenway retreated to third base. Ed Hooge lined out to Johnston to end the game. 3-2 Indians. Greenway 2-4, HR, 2B, RBI; Maldonado 2-3, 2B; Ledford (PH) 1-1, RBI;

(looks like somebody stole his cookie)

Raccoons (9-6) vs. Bayhawks (8-7) – April 22-24, 2039

The Bayhawks were actually playing sound baseball and sat third in runs scored in the CL (tied with the Critters), and seventh in runs allowed. The Raccoons had won the season series four years in a row, 6-3 in 2038, although it was never really easy, was it? Maybe it would get easier with two outfielders already on the DL, with Mike Hall having joined Edgardo Balderrama on Monday.

Projected matchups:
Bryce Sparkes (1-1, 3.32 ERA) vs. Gilberto Rendon (1-2, 7.53 ERA)
Ryan Bedrosian (1-0, 4.96 ERA) vs. Jose Moreno (1-1, 5.31 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (2-0, 3.57 ERA) vs. Rick Haugh (0-0, 6.10 ERA)

Looked like we got the moldy part of the rotation, dodging f.e. Josh Long (2-0, 0.56 ERA). All their starters were right-handers.

No matter the outcome of the opener here – the Raccoons had to sent in Jermaine Campbell, who hadn’t pitched in a week.

Game 1
SFB: CF Calderon – 2B Schneller – 1B S. Ayala – SS Greer – C Sailas – 3B Barcia – RF Chavira – LF M. Castillo – P G. Rendon
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Maldonado – 1B Monge – C Morales – SS Williams – P Sparkes

Gilberto Rendon, ex-Critter, entered with an ERA equal to his last two seasons’ ERAs combined, but was spotted a 2-0 lead when Bryce Sparkes continued to not retire batters that needed retiring. The inevitable Dan Schneller hit a double in the first, Marshall Greer got nicked with two outs, Robbie Sailas hit an RBI single, Sparkes walked Sergio Barcia, and despite subtle hints from the dugout, including a sign that read “Throw strikes, doofus!”, he conceded another run on Vinny Chavira’s single. Mel Castillo finally struck out. The Raccoons got Berto on with a leadoff walk in the bottom 1st, but Manny Fernandez forced him out before long. Greenway singled, extending a hitting streak to 14 games, and Maldonado hit an RBI single, 2-1. Rendon lost Monge on balls, bringing up .080 hitter Tony Morales with three on and two gone, and Morales popped out on a 2-1 pitch. Portland did tie the game in the third inning, though, then on Cosmo’s leadoff double and two productive groundouts.

Despite whiffing seven in five innings, Sparkes spent a lot of time toiling behind in the count, eventually running into a Sal Ayala homer in the fifth inning. Troy Greenway matched the feat in the bottom of the inning, tying the score again at three, but a walk to Barcia and a Monge error put two on in the sixth and chased Sparkes with two outs and the lefty Oscar Calderon up. David Fernandez secured an inning-concluding strikeout, but then put two aboard in the top 7th, and Travis Sims waved both runs around with 2-out RBI singles surrendered to Dave Martinez and Vinny Chavira. The 5-3 deficit prevailed through the seventh and eighth. The Raccoons had the tying run at the plate in either inning, but couldn’t get anything across. Jermaine Campbell indeed entered in a losing game then, pitching a scoreless ninth. Bottom 9th, Tom Thweatt walked Jeff Kilmer in the #9 hole to get the inning underway. Berto grounded a 3-2 pitch into a fielder’s choice, but Cosmo found the gap for a double (although he was almost thrown out at second base). Those were the tying runs in scoring position, and we couldn’t wish for anybody else to come up than Manny (.349) and Greenway (.356) with one out. Actually, Greenway never came up – Manny Fernandez sat on the pie and had it all himself, ending the game with a 3-run bash to right-center! 6-5 Furballs!! Trevino 2-5, 2 2B; M. Fernandez 2-5, HR, 3 RBI; Greenway 2-4, HR, 2 RBI; Monge 2-3, BB;

No save, but at least a W for Campbell – at least it wasn’t all for the furry tush!

What the **** was wrong with Tony Morales? Nothing, really. He was hitting .071 – and with the worst luck anybody had ever seen in the game of baseball. His BABIP was .083 at 2-for-24. He had twice as many walks as hits, when for his career he usually had 3.5 to 4-times as many hits than walks.

None of this meant he shouldn’t take another day off on Saturday……

Game 2
SFB: CF Calderon – 2B Schneller – RF D. Martinez – 1B S. Ayala – SS Greer – C Sailas – 3B Barcia – LF M. Castillo - P J. Moreno
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – CF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – C Kilmer – LF Ledford – 1B Maldonado – SS Williams – P Bedrosian

The Raccoons took a 1-0 lead in a messy first inning, with Berto singling and being caught stealing (still 0-for-X!) before Cosmo tripled. Manny grounded out poorly, keeping him on base, and Greenway walked rather than getting anything hittable. Kilmer lobbed an RBI single before the inning ended with Ledford. Bedrosian refused to arrive in our hearts, too; after allowing one hit through three innings, he was out of whack in the fourth, walking two, conceding two hits, and falling 2-1 behind on a Marshall Greer RBI double and Robbie Sailas’ sac fly.

So it was another game that had to be played from behind… Greenway would open the bottom 4th with a leadoff single, then advanced on a wild pitch before Kilmer walked in a full count anyway. Ledford singled at 1-2, loading the bags with nobody out. As usual, Maldonado whiffed and Williams hit into a double play…

Sal Ayala hit a 2-out RBI double to score the inevitable Dan Schneller in the fifth, 3-1, and Bedrosian didn’t make it out of the sixth, which Sailas opened with a double. He issued another walk for four in total and was yanked for Garavito with two down and runners in scoring position. Oscar Calderon then whiffed against Garavito, who many many decades ago had come from the Bayhawks to the Raccoons. After that scare, the Raccoons had runners in scoring position once more in the bottom 7th. Williams and Hooge arrived there with nobody out, bringing up the top of the order against a heretofore sturdy Moreno. Berto hit a sac fly, Trevino popped out, and it looked like the Raccoons would choke again, but Manny Fernandez then flicked in a game-tying single near the rightfield line. Greenway popped out to end the frame, all tied at three. After five outs from Antonio Prieto, the Raccoons sent Alaniz against Calderon, but he walked him on four pitches, then had to face righties, and especially the inevitable Dan Schneller, who grounded out at 3-2 after Calderon stole a base. Another walkoff was thus possible, with Thweatt facing Hooge, Berto, and Cosmo in the bottom 9th, but Friday’s hero was no longer in the game – Danny Monge was in the #3 hole after a pair of double switches. Thweatt didn’t get a good start again, giving up a gapper to Hoogey for a double. Berto’s grounder to first moved the winning run to third base, and the Bayhawks wanted no part of Cosmo – he was walked with intent, bringing up Monge indeed. He was out on a comebacker, and Greenway also grounded out to send the game to extras.

Alaniz walked a pair and threw a wild pitch in the 10th and somehow still didn’t fall behind. Martinez and Jason Barnes were stranded despite arriving in scoring position with one out in this game of blown chances, with PH Eduardo Umanzor grounding out to Berto to keep them inned before Tristan Levinson lifted out easily to Greenway. Thweatt kept going – then soaked another loss. Kilmer hit a leadoff single, advanced on a passed ball, and scored when Maldonado hit a ball over the head of Calderon in center. 4-3 Critters!! Trevino 2-4, BB, 3B; Kilmer 2-4, BB, RBI; Maldonado 2-5, 2B, RBI; Hooge (PH) 2-2, 2 2B; Prieto 1.2 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 3 K;

Jose Alaniz got his first win as a Raccoon. Given he went 1.1 innings and walked three in a game that was tied at all times, he was rather lucky!

Game 3
SFB: CF Calderon – 2B Schneller – RF D. Martinez – 1B S. Ayala – SS Greer – C Sailas – 3B Barcia – LF M. Castillo - P Haugh
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Ledford* – 1B Monge – C Morales – SS Majano – P Chavez

Greenway doubled and scored on two productive outs for a 1-0 lead in the bottom 2nd before Tony Morales was robbed at the fence as his misery continued unabated. Bernie Chavez meanwhile had plenty of traffic; two runners in each of the first two innings, another one in the third when Dave Martinez doubled, but none of them scored. The bottom of the third began with a Majano single, and Bernie bunted him over. Berto clipped an RBI single, 2-0, Cosmo singled too, and then they pulled off a double steal to get Berto into the SB column after merely three weeks of baseball. Fernandez grounded out to Ayala to not get a run in, but Greenway came through with two outs and shot a single up the middle, scoring both of the speedsters to grow the gap to 4-0. Ledford struck out to end the inning.

Bernie Chavez barely got through five innings, needing over 100 pitches, despite never allowing a run. Mel Castillo hit a double in a full count in the fourth, and Martinez and Ayala went to the corners before .179 hitter Marshall Greer finally grounded out in another full count to end the inning. He would have been Bernie’s last batter anyway. Haugh kept going in the sixth, loading the bases before getting Cosmo to ground out and strand all the runners.

Needing length, the Raccoons then sat down Cosmo, with Majano to second and Elijah Williams, who pinch-hit in the #9 hole and reached on an error, playing short. Travis Sims went in the #2 hole, with the explicit task to get six outs. He got three alright, walking Schneller, which was preferable to extra bases, and Manny Fernandez tacked on a run with a homer off righty Marcos Ochoa in the bottom 7th. Sims logged another three outs in order in the eighth, with Campbell getting the bottom of the order in the ninth in another non-save situation. Barcia, Castillo, and Chavira struck out in order to complete a sweep! 5-0 Critters. Trevino 2-4; M. Fernandez 2-4, HR, 2B, RBI; Greenway 2-3, BB, 2B, 2 RBI; Sims 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 2 K;

In other news

April 18 – The Bayhawks will be without OF Mike Hall (.348, 1 HR, 6 RBI) for a month. The 26-year-old is out with a high ankle sprain.
April 19 – Scoreless through the end of regulation, the Falcons walk off, 1-0, on the Bayhawks on singles by Graciano Salto (.333, 2 HR, 7 RBI) and Joe Depp (.385, 0 HR, 3 RBI). A wild pitch by San Francisco’s Tim Thweatt (2-1, 0.77 ERA) in between also helps.
April 20 – Warriors SP Mike Mihalik (3-1, 3.67 ERA) shuts out the Stars in Dallas (!) on just two base hits, whiffing seven. The Warriors win 5-0.
April 20 – MIL SP Alfredo Vargas (1-0, 2.21 ERA) will be out for two months with elbow inflammation.

FL Player of the Week: NAS 1B Chance Bossert (.362, 2 HR, 14 RBI), hitting .417 (10-24) with 2 HR, 5 RBI
CL Player of the Week: POR RF Troy Greenway (.369, 6 HR, 15 RBI), swatting .474 (9-19) with 3 HR, 7 RBI

Complaints and stuff

…and here we have mail from a young fan, thanks Maud. His name is Oswine, and he writes he is eight years old and his Gobble handle is … I can’t possibly … how do you pronounce that? Whatever. Little Oswine asks when Ottie will come back to delight his young fans? – Well, see, Oswine… I have taken a look at Ottie’s stats in St. Petersburg, and … (makes cringey face) … I fear he will have to be put down …! …… Ask your mother what that means.

Troy Greenway has a 16-game hitting streak, while Tony Morales can’t get any ball to fall in.

The Raccoons have six .300 hitters, but aren’t even scoring 4.5 runs per game. Baseball, huh?

I would like the look of the division table a lot more if we hadn’t been swept by the stinking Elks, which is, by the way, the only series lost by this team so far in ’39. Sorta stings.

Fun Fact: Troy Greenway leads the CL in homers, but Manny Fernandez leads in extra-base hits.

That’s 13-11 in XBH for Manny, and they are 1-2 in the league. The damn Elks’ dismal Jerry Outram also has six homers, but only two other extra-base hits, which puts him behind even Cosmo Trevino. The hoofed menace leads the CL in total bases though, which comes with batting .423, I guess.

+++

*That was of course an Oopsie. Hoogey was supposed to be in that slot but I forked it.

I might fork a whole lot more in the next 11 days, since I have my annual World Series holiday and will not go back to work until November 2.

[Westheim]

Raccoons (12-6) vs. Aces (5-14) – April 25-27, 2039

Vegas was not having a good time, sitting ninth in runs scored, but at the very bottom of the league in runs allowed, giving up five runs and a half per game. Their rotation and bullpen both had ERA’s over five. Their defensive efficiency was worse than the Critters, which was something. The Coons had won seven of nine games in 2038.

Projected matchups:
Raffaello Sabre (2-0, 1.83 ERA) vs. Chris Crowell (1-3, 5.33 ERA)
Steve Fidler (0-3, 4.82 ERA) vs. Willie Gallardo (1-2, 3.98 ERA)
Bryce Sparkes (1-1, 3.65 ERA) vs. Israel Mendoza (0-2, 4.85 ERA)

All righties; their only southpaw, Jesus Rodarte, had a sore hamstring and an ERA pushing nine on top of that. Two semi-regulars were on the DL as well with Jose Platero and Chris O’Keefe.

Game 1
LVA: C D. Gomez – 2B Briones – LF Jorgensen – CF Rossi – 3B L. Duarte – SS Ackeret – 1B Zarazua – RF Gurney – P Crowell
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Maldonado – C Morales – 1B Monge – SS Williams – P Sabre

In a case of “who are these people”, Sabre found trouble in the first with a Steve Jorgensen single and Nate Rossi reaching on a throwing error by Berto. While all of those were known components, Lorenzo Duarte was a rule 5 pick with skinny major league experience and grounded out to short to end the inning. Berto and Greenway hit singles in the bottom 1st, but were left aboard. Tony Morales’ BABIP also remained in the general vicinity of .100 – his leadoff jack in the second didn’t count as a ball in play. An Elijah Williams double and Sabre’s own single were good for a second run in the inning. Troy Greenway clubbed a leadoff jack to right-center in the bottom 3rd, 3-0, while Tony Morales hit another ball hard… lining out to Mario Briones, who in turn committed a throwing error that allowed Williams to score again in the fourth inning, 4-0. With Sabre 2-hitting the Aces, all seemed well, but if you looked closer at the scoreboard you saw that Sabre actually had no strikeouts through five, and the sixth began with a Briones single up the middle, and Steve Jorgensen immediately ripped a double up the leftfield line to bring him home. Rossi grounded out, advancing the runner, and Duarte flew out to Maldonado. Jorgensen went – and Maldo cut him down at the plate! The Critters got the run back on a Williams single and a Berto double in the bottom of the inning, re-establishing slam range. That was enough to cruise to the finish line in this game. Sabre went eight without ever striking out a batter. Travis Sims struck out two in the final inning. 5-1 Raccoons. Ramos 3-4, 2B, RBI; Greenway 2-4, HR, RBI; Williams 4-4, 2B; Sabre 8.0 IP, 6 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 0 K, W (3-0) and 1-2, RBI;

The Aces also only piled up two strikeouts. Lots of balls in play thus for only six runs total in the game.

Game 2
LVA: C D. Gomez – 2B Briones – SS Byrd – LF Jorgensen – CF Rossi – 1B Velazquez – 3B L. Duarte – RF Beaudoin – P Gallardo
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – C Kilmer – 1B Maldonado – CF Hooge – SS Williams – P Fidler

Like Sabre on Monday, Fidler had runners in scoring position in the first inning. Unlike Sabre, he ended the inning with a K to Rossi, but also unlike Sabre he plated a runner with a wild pitch… The Raccoons would have five hits in the first three innings and not score any runs; Troy Greenway extended his hitting streak to 18 games with a third-inning single, though. The top 4th then began with two infield singles for Jorgensen and Rossi, the latter being forced out in a fielder’s choice with John Velazquez batting. Duarte grounded to Berto, but the Raccoons failed to turn two, and Jorgensen scored. Justin Beaudoin struck out to leave Velazquez on.

After five hits in the first three innings, the Raccoons had no hits in the next three innings, with Fidler very much left to fight and die on his own. He lasted six innings for 100 pitches, and left trailing 2-0 still. Citriniti did the top 7th, then was hit for with Ledford with one out in the bottom of the inning, with Hoogey and Williams just having reached with a pair of singles; they were the tying runs. Briones narrowly missed Ledford’s 2-2 grounder, which became a single to load the bags for Berto. The Aces were so surprised by the sudden offense that the bullpen was still getting warm. In between, Gallardo had sat down 11 straight. Berto was also retired on a sac fly, which got the Coons on the board, but Cosmo grounded out and the inning ended. Briones (double), Jorgensen (RBI single), and Rossi (bomb) then took apart Jose Alaniz for three runs in the eighth inning to put the game away. The Raccoons got a run in the ninth on Joel Hernandez’ 2-out, pinch-hit RBI double, but that would be all. 5-2 Aces. Majano (PH) 1-1; Hooge 2-4; Williams 2-3; Ledford (PH) 1-1; Hernandez (PH) 1-1, 2B, RBI;

Hernandez also had the only Raccoons extra-base hit against nine singles. The Aces had three.

This was the first time this year the Raccoons lost a game by more than two runs.

Game 3
LVA: C D. Gomez – 2B Briones – SS Byrd – LF Jorgensen – CF Rossi – 1B Velazquez – 3B Ackeret – RF Gurney – P I. Mendoza
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Maldonado – C Morales – SS Williams – 1B Monge – P Sparkes

I wasn’t sure what made me more grumpy – the three doubles Sparkes allowed in the second inning as sparkes flew indeed, or that the first double, Velazquez’, was followed by two wild pitches. Shorthand was the Raccoons were 2-0 down and their pitcher appeared high on fermented fruit. Troy Greenway extended the hitting streak the first time through with a solo homer to begin the second, 2-1, and the Raccoons put Morales (single) and Monge (double) in scoring position in the inning, where they remained with a K to Sparkes, who was singled to death in the fourth inning; four singles, three runs for Vegas, and the Raccoons looked clueless and beaten, down 5-1.

Neither offense nor pitching clicked, and the defense was not going to step outta line either. Cosmo made a throwing error in the fifth that didn’t lead to a run, but Travis Sims coming in and retiring absolutely nobody in the seventh surely did. With Briones around, and John Byrd, Jorgensen, and Rossi on the bases in the seventh, the Raccoons went back to Alaniz, the previous game’s punching bag. He gave up a 2-run double to Velazquez and a sac fly to Aiden Ackeret, totalling four runs in the inning, all on Sims’ ledger. The Raccoons continued to be completely entirely hapless; when Cosmo hit a leadoff double in the bottom 8th, he wasn’t scored. At least Jermaine Campbell got involved for the first and only time in the series, getting to toss mop-up in the ninth inning. The Raccoons scored two joyless runs against Mendoza in the ninth, but could not prevent him from pitching a complete game. Monge hit a sac fly, Berto hit a run-scoring groundout – even when they scored, they still made outs… 9-3 Aces. Morales 1-2, 2 BB; Majano (PH) 1-1, 2B; Hooge (PH) 1-1;

Oh boy.

Raccoons (13-8) @ Loggers (12-10) – April 29-May 1, 2039

The Loggers had as many runs scored as they had allowed, just under four per game in either case. They were already shaken with injuries, having lost SP Alfredo Vargas, a couple of relievers, and outfielder Justin Nelson, with the pitchers all out until the summer heat would reach even Milwaukee, this year scheduled to take place around July 21. The Raccoons led the season series after winning two of three from them to start the year, but after that rancid Aces performance…

Projected matchups:
Ryan Bedrosian (1-0, 4.91 ERA) vs. Joe Feltman (2-1, 1.27 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (3-0, 2.78 ERA) vs. William Stockwell (1-2, 5.56 ERA)
Raffaello Sabre (3-0, 1.63 ERA) vs. Carlos Padilla (2-1, 1.27 ERA)

Two right-handers with scary ERA’s, and a stirred lefty in the middle.

Game 1
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Maldonado – C Morales – SS Williams – 1B Monge – P Bedrosian
MIL: RF Valenzuela – 1B Ronan – 3B Paul – SS Del Vecchio – C F. Gomez – LF Leyva – 2B V. Acosta – CF Sealock – P Feltman

Berto singled, stole second, and was… stranded. Grounder, whiff, grounder. Meanwhile, Ryan Bedrosian continued to move deeper into Daniel Dickerson territory of failed big SP acquisitions, walking Joseph Ronan and giving up a Canada-bound blast to Jared Paul right in the first inning to find his own personal 2-0 hole. In the top 3rd he bunted badly, forcing out Danny Monge ahead of him, then was in the way of Berto, who reached base again. Cosmo hit into a fielder’s choice, and Manny Fernandez struck out again to end the dismal inning. When Joseph Ronan hit a jack to deep center in the bottom of the inning, 3-0, I retreated to a dark corner to sob.

Top 4th, Greenway walked and Morales doubled – and nobody scored. With one out, Williams bounced out to Paul at third base, and Monge popped out ********. That was about it for offensive ambitions, and the game ended in the bottom 6th. Leadoff walk drawn by Felipe Gomez, then two singles up the middle by Rico Leyva and Victor Acosta. Bedrosian had Matt Sealock at 0-2 before giving up a duck snort RBI single, then was kicked off the mound. David Fernandez inherited a losing proposition, struck out Feltman and Danny Valenzuela, then walked in a run against Ronan. Paul was down 1-2, then ripped a 2-run double. Citriniti replaced him, then served up a 3-run homer to ******* pest Ted Del Vecchio. That one put the Raccoons down by double digits. Trevino hit a 2-out, 2-run double in the seventh that nobody gave a flying **** about. 10-2 Loggers. Ramos 2-4; Monge 3-4;

It shouldn’t go unnoted that Joseph Ronan attempted two stolen bases in the eighth inning of an 8-run game. He stole one, and was thrown out at third. What a ******* *** muncher. We’re contemplating to throw a fastball into his visage on Saturday.

Troy Greenway’s hitting streak ended, just like my confidence that the pitching might be enough.

Game 2
POR: CF Maldonado – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – C Kilmer – RF Ledford – 1B Monge – SS Majano – 3B Hernandez – P Chavez
MIL: RF Valenzuela – 1B Ronan – 3B Paul – SS Del Vecchio – C F. Gomez – LF Leyva – 2B V. Acosta – CF Sealock – P Stockwell

Misery continued with two singles and Ledford getting hit in the bum filling the bases in the top 1st, only for Danny Monge to ground out to short. Before long the Loggers led 1-0 on Felipe Gomez’ homer in the bottom 2nd… then tacked on a run when they kept whacking Chavez for hits. Valenzuela drove in Victor Acosta with a 2-out knock in the inning, 2-0.

Portland wasted a Maldonado double to lead off the third inning, but Joel Hernandez drove in Monge with two outs in the fourth to get on the board at least. Bernie Chavez was unimpressed by their efforts, hit Acosta with two outs in the bottom of the fourth, balked him to second, then gave up an RBI single to Sealock through the perpetually open left side, 3-1. Maldonado hit a leadoff single in the fifth, Trevino hit into a double play. The horror knew no ends and no limits.

Top 6th, Kilmer with a leadoff single up the middle. Ledford also went up due north, but all the way over Sealock for a double. This put the tying runs in scoring position with nobody out. Monge struck out. Majano struck out. Hernandez was walked. There was no other way – Troy Greenway had to bat for Bernie Chavez. He struck out on three pitches. After a scoreless sixth by Prieto and two more runners stranded in the top 7th, the bottom 7th began with an Acosta double off Prieto. Sealock reached on a Majano error, putting runners on the corners and bringing in Garavito against PH Kenta Yoshioka, who grounded to Cosmo for a fielder’s choice, but brought in a run. Valenzuela hit a comebacker to the veteran lefty, who spiked a throw to Majano, which got away for another error. When Tony Coca, one of those ancient Elk gods of wrath, pinch-hit for the despicable Ronan, the Raccoons went to Travis Sims, who promptly gave up a 2-run triple on a 1-2 pitch. Coca was out for oversliding the bag at third base, which was such a consolation. I sat silently in a cushy seat in a suite, the only motion being the tears running down my striped face while a local business magnate kept waffling off about his tomato garden, but wouldn’t miss celebrating every Loggers run with a victory dance. The Raccoons scratched out a run on a Maldonado groundout in the eighth, Danny Monge doubled in a run with two outs in the ninth. Once again, too little, too late, and too lame. 6-3 Loggers. Maldonado 2-5, 2B, RBI; Kilmer 3-5; Williams (PH) 1-1; Monge 2-4, 2B, RBI; Ramos (PH) 1-1;

Game 3
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – 1B Maldonado – C Morales – SS Williams – CF Hooge – P Sabre
MIL: RF Valenzuela – 2B V. Acosta – 3B Paul – SS Del Vecchio – C F. Gomez – LF Leyva – 1B Torri – CF Sealock – P C. Padilla

Sabre struck out Dan Torri in the second, so he technically still had some sort of stuff, and otherwise allowed only one base hit the first time through. Getting a lead was of course nigh impossible given the Raccoons’ approach to hitting with runners in scoring position. Morales hit a 1-out double in the second and was stranded. Greenway hit a leadoff double in the fourth and Maldonado grounded out. Morales hit an infield single, which was hard enough for him to pull off, and then the Raccoons *barely* got Greenway home on a sac fly to center hit by Elijah Williams.

Three full counts for three outs in the bottom 4th exploded Sabre’s pitch count – and none of the guys struck out – but at least the offense showed up in some capacity in the fifth. Berto reached base and was caught stealing. Cosmo reached base, stole second after all, and then Manny hit a 2-out, 2-run jack to go up 3-0. Sabre however fought hard with the Loggers lineup. He had another full count against Gomez to start the bottom 5th, got two outs, then walked Torri before getting a groundout from Sealock. The Loggers still only had one hit, but they were sure close to chewing up Sabre. Valenzuela and Acosta struck out in the bottom 6th against Sabre, who was nearing the end of the line, while Ed Hooge hit a leadoff double and scored on a Cosmo single in the seventh, 4-0. Trevino stole second, but Manny was robbed in the gap by Rico Leyva to end the inning. Sabre retired the 3-4-5 in order in the bottom 7th, and the 6-7-8 in the eighth. After all the long counts in the middle innings, the Loggers were now poking rapidly, making three 1-pitch outs at this stage, putting Sabre at 101 pitches through eight. He grounded out for himself in the ninth with nobody on and two outs, then was sent into the bottom of the ninth, with Yoshioka leading off the inning as pinch-hitter. He dinked in a 1-2 pitch for a single, and the Raccoons moved at once. David Fernandez came in for Valenzuela, gave up an RBI double, and that opened the lane for Campbell to have a save situation. Yaay. He struck out Acosta, then gave up a bomb to Jared Paul, of course. Now it was 4-3, and ******* Ted Del Vecchio walked. Gomez popped out, but here came Joseph Ronan, the newest cancerous growth on a usually sympathetically clumsy team. He batted for Leyva – and grounded the first pitch to third base. Joel Hernandez was there and made the play to end the game and end the 4-game spill. 4-3 Raccoons. Ramos 2-4; Trevino 2-4, RBI; M. Fernandez 2-4, HR, 2 RBI; Morales 2-4, 2B; Sabre 8.0 IP, 2 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 6 K, W (4-0);

In other news

April 27 – SFB RF/LF/1B Dave Martinez (.279, 2 HR, 10 RBI) was out for three weeks with a strained hammy.
April 28 – The Warriors will shut 2B/SS Mario Colon (.135, 2 HR, 9 RBI) down for three weeks. The 32-year-old is suffering from shoulder inflammation.
April 28 – Shoulder inflammation may have ended the season of RIC SP Ryan Person (1-2, 4.35 ERA).
April 28 – The Condors acquire RF/LF Tom Dunlap (.323, 1 HR, 6 RBI) and cash from the Miners for MR Josh Heckman (1-1, 1.69 ERA) and a prospect.

FL Player of the Week: NAS LF/RF Sean Ashley (.402, 9 HR, 26 RBI), batting .500 (12-24) with 3 HR, 11 RBI
CL Player of the Week: TIJ 1B/LF Alvin Zuazo (.320, 4 HR, 24 RBI), batting .423 (11-26) with 2 HR, 11 RBI

FL Hitter of the Month: NAS LF/RF Sean Ashley (.391, 8 HR, 22 RBI)
CL Hitter of the Month: VAN OF Jerry Outram (.380, 7 HR, 14 RBI)
FL Pitcher of the Month: WAS CL Roland Warner (3-0, 1.17 ERA, 7 SV)
CL Pitcher of the Month: OCT SP Chris Inderrieden (4-1, 1.01 ERA)
FL Rookie of the Month: DEN 1B Mark Cahill (.286, 5 HR, 15 RBI)
CL Rookie of the Month: NYC OF Juan Garcia (.290, 2 HR, 8 RBI)

Complaints and stuff

A month into the season it’s becoming more and more clear that the Raccoons’ offseason acquisitions were as helpful for winning on the diamond as a door knob on a cow.

They couldn’t be any more useless. Joel Hernandez hadn’t played a lot, but also wasn’t hitting anything when he did. Alex Majano played short like Berto would play short if a landmine had taken off his legs. Danny Monge and Jose Alaniz were both just a complete waste of oxygen. Yet the worst offender was doubtlessly bloody expensive Ryan Bedrosian, who had made five starts, had barely pitched five innings per game, and had an ERA that made me wonder whether Damani Knight or “Tragic” Travis Garrett were still active.

Worst winter ever.

Steve Fidler is now 0-4. How far do we want to watch that go, and what should his nickname be in the meantime? We once had Kenichi “Winless” Watanabe. Maybe “Feckless” Fidler wouldn’t be so bad.

What hope is there in St. Petersburg? There’s two starters that are not getting it every time they’re out there, and that’s Ernesto Rivera, the 29-year-old March pickup, and Justin Roberts, an unsung trash heap pickup from a few years ago. He was a 23-year-old righty with a 2.51 ERA in AAA, but also five walks per nine, which wouldn’t play well in Portland. Jose Brito was hitting .333/.380/.486, but it was also well established that his position was thoroughly blocked by Cosmo Trevino. Matt Kilgallen was not going to come to the rescue – he was hitting .203. That was with three homers, but … *.203*…

Remember Oliver Anderson? He was on a minor league deal with major league option and it was either promoting him now or allowing him to become a free agent. He was hitting .345/.424/.414 in AAA. Would that actually help us any? He was also a first baseman. The best he could do was platoon with Danny Monge, which sounded horrendous to begin with, and who do you demote in the first place?

Sigh. Next week: trip continues to Boston (oh god) and on the way home we’ll stop by at the Wolves’ place. Two-week homestand after that. The month of May will end with the first chunk of a two-week road trip of the nonsensical sort, requiring four traverses of the Rockies to complete: Tijuana – Atlanta – San Francisco – Milwaukee. It’s the worst road trip of the year travel-wise.

Oh, regarding the minors; what's Nelson Moreno up to? 2-1 with a 2.97 ERA in Ham Lake. 3.6 BB/9 and 9.8 K/9. He's 20, and could see AAA before he turns 21.

A nod of appreciation to Raffaello Sabre though, who deserves so much better and should be traded to the damn Elks just so he could get a shot for a ring. – No, Cristiano, I don’t want to hear about his BABIP being next to nothing! – No, Cristiano, I don’t want to hear anything about his expected performance going forward. – Cristiano, if you don’t stop, YOUR MOUTH will get the ZIPS!!

Fun Fact: The Raccoons are second in batting average, on-base percentage, slugging, hits, extra-base hits… stolen bases… fewest strikeouts…

And sixth in runs scored.

(opens mouth)

(windmills aggravatedly with both arms)

(crumbles another cookie into a jar with booze)

[Westheim]

Raccoons (14-10) @ Titans (13-11) – May 2-4, 2039

First fight with the Titans in ’39, with the season series having ended in a draw last year. The Raccoons hadn’t won the series since ’35, and weren’t winning it all that often to begin with. Boston had struggled to score early on, plating the second-fewest runs in the CL, but had also conceded the fewest. Their rotation was fifth in ERA, their pen was untouchable, holding a 1.01 ERA.

Projected matchups:
Steve Fidler (0-4, 4.38 ERA) vs. Rich Willett (4-0, 2.34 ERA)
Bryce Sparkes (1-2, 4.66 ERA) vs. Andy Bressner (1-3, 3.47 ERA)
Ryan Bedrosian (1-1, 6.33 ERA) vs. Leonhart Becker (0-1, 1.35 ERA)

Bringing those three botchers to Boston was probably begging for beatings…. But we had nothing else. The Titans had two righties and a southpaw against us.

Game 1
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – CF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – LF Ledford – 1B Monge – SS Williams – C Morales – P Fidler
BOS: RF M. Avila – 1B Joseph – CF Vermillion – C Kuehn – 2B Santillan – 3B Gil – LF Calais – SS Toney – P Willett

“Feckless” Fidler took four pitches to load the bases, drilling Moises Avila and allowing singles to Chris Joseph and Mark Vermillion. What a start to the week! After Paul Kuehn struck out, Fidler walked in two runs, another one scored on Sean Calais’ grounder, and the Raccoons trailed 3-0 after only one inning. Rich Willett was also not pitching in a way that allowed for much hope; Manny Fernandez hit a single in the first, after which silence engulfed the Raccoons’ bats until the fifth, when perversely Tony Morales and “Feckless” Fidler hit back-to-back 2-out doubles to bring in a run, but Berto popped out. To make up for it, the Coons’ battery allowed not one, but two infield singles in the bottom 5th, Willett and Vermillion legging out grounders, but Kuehn was out to end the inning. Fidler held out through six innings, then issued a 4-pitch walk to Willett (…!!) and a single to Moises Avila in the seventh. David Fernandez replaced him to face the lefty bats after that, but the Titans sent Matt Dear to pinch-hit, and the right-hander yanked a 3-run homer to left. And that was really all to a typical game in Boston, with Rich Willett going to 5-0 with a complete-game 5-hitter. 6-1 Titans. M. Fernandez 2-4;

Down in St. Pete, Matt Kilgallen was now out with a sore wrist, which made that point a bit moot.

Game 2
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Maldonado – C Morales – SS Majano – 1B Monge – P Sparkes
BOS: RF M. Avila – LF J. Davis – CF Vermillion – C Kuehn – 2B Santillan – 3B Gil – 1B Olszewski – SS Toney – P Bressner

In two innings, the Raccoons had three hits and no runs, and the Titans had one hit and one run, and Alex Majano was at fault for both. Maldonado and Morales had hit 1-out singles in the second inning, but Majano had spanked a ball into a 5-3 double play, and in the bottom he fudged a Drew Olszewski grounder with two outs that moved Jose Santillan to second base, and allowed Mike Toney to drive him in with a single through the gaping hole on the left side. John Davis drove in a run in the fifth inning, where the Titans had two singles; the Raccoons had absolutely nothing at all, except good momentum to be losers of six of their last seven games in another four innings.

Not that it got any better. Sparkes pitched into the seventh without getting even a shred of love, but with Toney on second and two outs, as well as two strikes to Avila, gave up another RBI single, like the Raccoons needed to be even further behind… Davis hit another single, Sparkes got the hook, and Alaniz got Vermillion out to at least end the goddamn inning. Danny Monge hit a leadoff single in the eighth … and then nothing happened anymore. Bressner, too, pitched into the ninth. Up 3-0, the Titans saw no need to go to a closer or some fancy-schmancy stuff. Manny popped out. Greenway flew out to left. Maldonado struck out. 3-0 Titans. Morales 2-3;

Interlude: Trade

In a sure sign that despair struck early in ’39, the Raccoons traded with the Miners on Tuesday night. SP Drew Johnson (2-2, 4.68 ERA) headed to Portland, while 2B/SS Alex Majano (.290, 0 HR, 0 RBI) was dumped to Pittsburgh in the FL East, the division he had spent his entire career in and where he belonged.

Both were on $1.8M contracts that expired at the end of the season, so the trade was salary-neutral.

Complementary roster moves made by the Raccoons included banishing Steve Fidler (0-5, 4.94 ERA) to St. Petersburg, while 1B Oliver Anderson was called up from AAA to make his season debut. Anderson was hitting .345/.412/.414 in AAA and would be able to elect free agency if not promoted by this week. The 25-year-old lefty hitter had marginal major league experience with the Buffaloes, amounting to 56 at-bats of hitting .214 with no bombs and 7 RBI.

Johnson would take over Fidler’s slot in the rotation and thus start on Sunday. We’d then try to figure out how he could have a .211 BABIP with a 4.68 ERA when his peripherals weren’t all that crap either…

Raccoons (14-10) @ Titans (13-11) – May 2-4, 2039

Game 3
POR: CF Maldonado – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – C Kilmer – RF Greenway – SS Williams – 1B Monge – 3B Hernandez – P Bedrosian
BOS: RF M. Avila – LF J. Davis – CF Vermillion – C Kuehn – 2B Santillan – 3B Gil – 1B Joseph – SS Toney – P Becker

The final loss of the set brought a southpaw opponent though, so Danny Monge was in the lineup for Portland. He stranded Kilmer in the second inning with a grounder to Jose Santillan, the first of two consecutive frames in which the Raccoons did nothing with a leadoff walk. Mike Toney hit a leadoff triple off the battered Bedrosian in the bottom 3rd, and of course scored on an Avila grounder, giving Boston a 1-0 lead they surely wouldn’t give back. They scored extra runs in the fourth on two singles, and in the fifth with a Toney single leading off, and a 2-out wild pitch by Mr. Bedrosian, who was close to being traded to the glue factory for nothing but a receipt and a warm handshake.

For something new, the Raccoons had two runners in the same inning in the sixth, with Cosmo and Kilmer occupying the corners with a flurry of two singles. Troy Greenway took care of business, hitting into an inning-ending 4-6-3 double play and keeping the score a nice and tidy 3-0. Two more were on in the seventh, with Joel Hernandez walking before PH Tony Morales got nicked with two down. Maldonado got ahead 3-1, then flew out easily to Avila. The Titans got a run off Prieto that nobody cared about in the bottom 8th, and with Becker still going in the ninth of a 4-0 game, the Raccoons were three outs away from playing an entire 3-game set without facing a relief pitcher even once. They got as close as one; with two outs and Elijah Williams on second, Berto pinch-hit for Joel Hernandez and poked an RBI single, chasing Becker for Mike Hugh, who struck out Brad Ledford to end the massacre. 4-1 Titans. Williams 2-4, 2B; Ramos (PH) 1-1, RBI;

Sometimes words are hard to find.

Raccoons (14-13) @ Wolves (18-10) – May 6-8, 2039

The Raccoons hadn’t lost a series to the Wolves since 2027, and hadn’t lost a GAME to the Wolves since 2033, sweeping them twice in the meantime. Nothing like that would take place now, with the Raccoons 7-11 for their last 18 and 1-7 for their last eight. They were so off the rolls, half of them boarded the wrong plane in Boston and landed in Mississauga, having to be retrieved via three connecting flights on the Thursday off day. The Wolves led the FL in runs scored, which boded so well, and were third in runs allowed. They were a winning package. The Raccoons were but a handful…

Projected matchups:
Raffaello Sabre (4-0, 1.51 ERA) vs. Pat Okrasinski (1-0, 4.72 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (3-1, 3.25 ERA) vs. Phil Harrington (3-0, 2.52 ERA)
Drew Johnson (2-2, 4.68 ERA) vs. Juan Garcia (4-2, 3.23 ERA)

As in Boston, two right, one left. And probably three losses.

Game 1
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Maldonado – 1B Anderson – C Morales – SS Williams – P Sabre
SAL: CF A. Herrera – LF J. Rivera – C Kuhlmann – 1B Jenkins – RF Weinstein – SS J. Castro – 3B Zeltser – 2B Camden – P Okrasinski

Cosmo singled and stole a base in the opening frame, automatically making him Batter of the Week as far as this team was concerned. Raffaello Sabre held the Wolves in their den for the first two innings, then hit a leadoff double in the third, with Manny Fernandez bringing him home with a 2-out single, giving the Raccoons THE LEAD!! And now what? What do we do now? Did we win? It’s 1-0 on the scoreboard. Is that it? Did we win?

Not bloody quite, at least not on that run alone. Morgan Kuhlmann went yard to right in the fourth to tie the game, and what was a Sabre gonna do? Hit another double? Hardly. Berto walked with two outs in the fifth, then stole second. Cosmo batted him in with a single, 2-1 Portland, and Manny hit another single. Troy Greenway, who had been entirely redundant for three whole days in Boston, and who wouldn’t have done less if he’d been chained to the heater in his hotel room the entire time, smacked a 3-run homer off the former Raccoon Pat Okrasinski, who was 39, and had looked finished all the way back when he’d been closer to 33. The Wolves batted for him in the bottom of the inning, then went to J.D. Hamm for long relief that was efficient until he gave up a 2-out jack to Williams in the eighth. There was also a run off Sabre in the bottom 8th, with Jeremy Camden landing a triple and scoring on Jimmy Wallace’s pinch-hit single. Wallace was hitting .467 and I couldn’t figure out why they wouldn’t put him in a more prominent spot… Berto doubled and scored on Hoogey’s pinch-hit single in the ninth inning to stretch the lead to 7-2, and Sabre returned for the ninth inning, too, retiring the 2-3-4 batters in order for a complete-game 5-hitter on exactly 100 pitches. 7-2 Coons. Trevino 3-5, RBI; M. Fernandez 2-5, RBI; Greenway 1-2, 3 BB, HR, 3 RBI; Hooge (PH) 1-1, RBI; Sabre 9.0 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 0 BB, 4 K, W (5-0) and 1-4, 2B;

10th career complete game for Sabre, who has five shutouts to his name, but none since his then-annoying Closing Day 2-hitter against Indy in ‘36.

Oliver Anderson went 0-for-5 in his Raccoons debut.

He didn’t get any better on Saturday, with the middle game rained out and rescheduled for a Sunday double-header. The Raccoons had all their pen at their disposal – no reliever had pitched in three days, none of them had pitched more than once in Boston, and another off day beckoned on Monday. Both teams stuck with their Saturday picks for the early game on Sunday, but the Raccoons would have had Kilmer in the lineup, but reversed course to have him in the second game instead. Brad Ledford got the assignment over Manny Fernandez.

Game 2
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF Ledford – RF Greenway – CF Maldonado – 1B Anderson – C Morales – SS Williams – P Chavez
SAL: CF A. Herrera – LF J. Rivera – C Kuhlmann – 1B Jenkins – RF Weinstein – SS J. Castro – 3B Zeltser – 2B Cole – P Harrington

Bernie Chavez allowed four straight hits to begin the Wolves’ first, falling 1-0 behind (which was usually enough for Phil Harrington, the best pitcher of this generation, period.) before the Wolves left the bags full with a pop, a K, and another pop. Actually, the 1-0 lead would not stand up; after Maldonado hit a leadoff single in the second and Tony Morales hit into a double play, Elijah Williams hit another leadoff single in the third inning. Chavez bunted him over and Cosmo hit a 2-out single to tie the game.

Harrington struck out seven through five innings, which was rather pedestrian by his standards, and then snapped a leadoff single on an 0-2 pitch in the bottom 5th. Bernie Chavez was due a homer, and served it up to Kuhlmann, digging himself a 3-1 hole. He lasted one more inning before removal, while Harrington reached 10 K by the eighth inning, ringing up Manny Fernandez pinch-hitting in the #9 hole. Harrington was not back for the ninth; right-hander Chris Henry got the ball and retired Berto and Cosmo before Ledford hit a 2-out single to bring up Greenway as the tying run, but Mike Cole handled his 2-2 grounder to end the game. 3-1 Wolves. Ledford 2-4, 2B;

At least they lost in a crisp 2:26 …

Game 3
POR: 2B Trevino – SS Williams – LF M. Fernandez – C Kilmer – RF Greenway – CF Maldonado – 1B Monge – 3B Hernandez – P Johnson
SAL: CF A. Herrera – LF J. Rivera – 1B Jenkins – RF Weinstein – SS J. Castro – 3B Zeltser – C F. Garcia – 2B Meza – P J. Garcia

Salem scored first on a pair of 2-out singles by Fernando Garcia and Alex Meza, plus a Maldonado throwing error on the latter, in the bottom 2nd. The Raccoons’ first two base runners were Elijah Williams and Elijah Williams, so it was that sorta game. Nobody else reached for Portland through five, but at least Drew Johnson held together if not backstabbed by Maldo and held the Wolves to five hits and their unearned run through five innings, when Dr. Padilla informed us that there was something wrong with him and he had to come out of the game – which was something new, since with Dr. Chung we usually realized that our players were injured when they crawled to the dugout, leaving a red trail behind them.

With Alaniz tagged as replacement, the Raccoons loaded the bases in the sixth inning on Cosmo’s leadoff double and walks issued to Manny and Kilmer. Greenway tied proceedings with a single up the middle, Maldonado added a run on a sac fly to Kyle Weinstein, and Monge found an RBI single to center in his bat as well. Joel Hernandez flew out to Armando Herrera, ending the inning up 3-1. After their 3-run outburst the Raccoons went back to bed, while Alaniz put Jose Rivera on base in the bottom 8th, then gave up a homer to Bill Jenkins, tying the game. The Raccoons then went through Prieto, who loaded the bases while being no help, to Garavito, who inherited three on, two outs, and PH Dan Dalton, a right-hander, rather than Alex Meza. Garavito threw a wild pitch to break the tie. Dalton flew out to Greenway… Top 9th, the bottom of the order would face Chris Henry, but Berto pinch-hit for Monge right away. He flew out. Ed Hooge struck out. Tony Morales flew out to left. 4-3 Wolves. Williams 3-4, 2B; Monge 1-2, BB, RBI; Johnson 5.0 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 0 ER, 0 BB, 3 K;

In other news

May 2 – Indy’s SP Joe Robinson (1-3, 5.93 ERA) fires a 3-hit shutout against the Crusaders, while the Indians’ offense fires on all cylinders and then some in the 12-0 rout.
May 3 – Pittsburgh’s CF/LF Kevin Burch (.264, 2 HR, 11 RBI) drives in five runs from the leadoff spot with four hits and a walk in a 15-2 bashing of the Rebels.
May 4 – Stretching the term “meltdown”, the Gold Sox blow a 7-2 lead in the ninth inning against the Scorpions, committing no fewer than three errors behind Jimmy Lohrey (0-3, 5.91 ERA, 3 SV) and Josh Winther (1-1, 3.65 ERA), the latter also serving up two homers and a triple to soak the 8-7 walkoff loss on a homer by SAC RF/LF/1B Carlos Cortes (.228, 5 HR, 14 RBI).
May 6 – Cincy’s Juan Brito (.234, 2 HR, 9 RBI) has five hits, a homer and four singles, in a 15-1 rush of the Titans. CIN C Rey Cedillo (.278, 2 HR, 6 RBI) gets his first six RBI of the year in the game.
May 7 – Vancouver SP Eric Weitz (5-1, 2.17 ERA) strikes out 11 Miners in a 4-0, 3-hit shutout.
May 7 – The Warriors trade for Cincy’s OF Will Ojeda (.214, 3 HR, 5 RBI) and a prospect, parting with 3B/2B Nick Rozenboom (.377, 3 HR, 17 RBI) and over a million in cash.
May 7 – Sacramento deals SP Ignacio del Rio (1-4, 6.63 ERA) to the Condors for four prospects, none ranked.
May 8 – The Condors deal LF/1B Alvin Zuazo (.333, 6 HR, 32 RBI) to the Warriors for OF Justin Simmons (.222, 0 HR, 4 RBI), plus four prospects to the Crusaders for SP Bill Quintero (2-4, 3.66 ERA). Again, none of the prospects are ranked.

FL Player of the Week: DAL LF/RF/1B Marc DeVita (.333, 4 HR, 19 RBI), batting .500 (10-20) with 2 HR, 5 RBI
CL Player of the Week: IND RF/LF Mario Ochoa (.282, 5 HR, 14 RBI), hitting .400 (12-30) with 3 HR, 10 RBI

Complaints and stuff

You know you’re in trouble when three consecutive entries into the W column are Sabre, Sabre, and Sabre. When was the last time the season was over so thoroughly so soon?

No word on Drew Johnson so far. We presume it’s fatal, because everything else would be a shock.

No, I don’t know what we pay Jermaine Campbell for.

I know very little.

Fun Fact: The entire major league career of left-hander Mauro Rodriguez were 27 games with the 2002 Raccoons.

He went 0-1 with a 7.13 ERA, which might explain to a degree why he never caught on anywhere but with a 73-89 team in the middle of desolation. A fourth-round pick in the 1997 draft, Rodriguez pitched until 2004 in the Raccoons, Buffaloes, and Warriors systems, mostly in the Critters’, though.

Walking more than twice as many as he struck out in his 17.2 innings of work, Mauro Rodriguez is certainly an entry in the list of forsaken Coons, which we want to shed a light onto from time to time going forwards, especially in dismal weeks that defy description to begin with.

…

Oh wait, what is this? Late report from Ham Lake? (reads the telegram)

Nelson Moreno came out of his last start in Ham Lake. It says it’s a ruptured finger tendon and his season is over.

(slowly gets up and walks over to the window overlooking the baseball field)

(looks up to the drab gray sky)

(shakes fist and yells) I HATE YOUUUU!!!!!

(slowly goes back to the desk and sits down, uncomfortably)

Maud, can you send for Dr. Padilla? – Nothing, really. No. I just can’t breathe anymore.

[Questdog]

"Complementary roster moves made by the Raccoons included banishing Steve Fidler (0-5, 4.94 ERA) to St. Petersburg, while 1B Oliver Anderson was called up from AAA to make his major league debut. Anderson was hitting .345/.412/.414 in AAA and would be able to elect free agency if not promoted by this week. The 25-year-old lefty hitter had marginal major league experience with the Buffaloes, amounting to 56 at-bats of hitting .214 with no bombs and 7 RBI."

Personally, I like those kids making their major league debuts with a little major league experience already under their belts. It seems to help with the jitters a lot, but did not seem to help Ollie much......

Maybe it is too bad of a week to make a silly joke like that, but I could not pass it up.... Sorry.

[Westheim]

And he made his season debut of course. Or Raccoons debut. Not major league debut.

Sometimes I wonder whether the Raccoons just need one key personnel question to be improved.

GM.

[Westheim]

Raccoons (15-15) vs. Rebels (15-15) – May 10-12, 2039

The Raccoons had fallen so deep, they were now level with the Rebels. We needed no more bullet points for identifying the level of misery we had sunk to. And the Rebels were not boilerplate trash this year even, they were second in runs scored in the FL, trying desperately to outslug their crummy pitching. Their rotation was pushing an ERA of five, while the pen was much better. We had last played them in 2036, winning two of three games.

Projected matchups:
Bryce Sparkes (1-3, 4.29 ERA) vs. Philip Wise (2-1, 6.14 ERA)
Ryan Bedrosian (1-2, 6.00 ERA) vs. Javy Santana (0-3, 5.23 ERA)
Raffaello Sabre (5-0, 1.61 ERA) vs. Jared Murphy (2-2, 4.08 ERA)

Three right-handers after a common off day on Monday. I did not feel well to begin this 2-week homestand and worked harder than most on the Monday, getting my blood alcohol up to a level where it wouldn’t hurt as much to see the Critters play anymore…

Game 1
RIC: SS Obando – 2B K. Elder – RF Ritchey – LF Fleming – 1B Sarro – 3B Stedham – C K. Morris – CF Tremain – P P. Wise
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Hooge – 1B Anderson – C Morales – SS Williams – P Sparkes

Jesse Stedham was hitting .298 now with the Rebels, which surprised nobody, but at least Sparkes scattered four hits in three innings in a way that nobody scored for Richmond. The Raccoons got Oliver Anderson on base for the first time with a second-inning walk, but didn’t stir meaningfully until the third, when Berto singled, stole second, and came home on Cosmo’s single. Manny also hit a single, and Greenway hit into an inning-ending double play. Stedham then reached in the fourth on an uncaught third strike, reached second on a 2-out Randy Tremain single, but Wise grounded out to end the inning. Bottom 4th, Anderson singled, moved up on Tony Morales’ groundout (that BABIP was still negative…), and then scored on a Williams single with two outs, 2-0 Coons.

Richmond made the board in the fifth, with Guillermo Obando having a leadoff single and scoring from second with two outs when Jonathan Fleming dropped a ball into no man’s land. Dan Sarro popped out to end that frame, but hits by Kevin Morris and Tremain and a Wise sac fly tied the game in the sixth. (sigh!) Sparkes then fell behind on another pair of singles, was yanked for Prieto, and Joe Ritchey popped out to strand runners on the corners in a game the Rebs now led 3-2.

Hoogey hit a leadoff single in the bottom 6th that went nowhere, and while I struggled to open the box of pills I had found in Dr. Padilla’s cabinet, which had a child protection on the lid, Berto and Cosmo hit 1-out singles in the seventh. Manny popped out, Greenway was clipped, loading the bags for Hooge, who flew out to Tremain. Bottom 8th, Anderson hit another single to lead off, then was doubled off during Jeff Kilmer’s pinch-hitting assignment that ended in disaster. Between relievers Garrett Sutherland and Jose Colon the Rebs then walked Williams and Ledford with two outs, but Berto grounded out to first to strand them. And the best of all – with the 3-2 score the Coons got to face the left-handed monster in the ninth, Yeom Soung. We knew a thing or two about him… and the lineup was also almost entirely left-handed. Cosmo grounded out. Manny grounded out. Greenway struck out. 3-2 Rebels. Ramos 2-4, BB; Trevino 2-5, RBI; M. Fernandez 2-5; Anderson 2-3, BB;

Maud! MAUD!!! – I CAN’T OPEN THESE PILLS!! – I AM NOT YELLING, YOU’RE YELLING!!!

In between breakdowns of every kind, the sub-.500 Raccoons put Drew Johnson on the DL with a sore elbow. He would totally be as good as new in three weeks or so. The Raccoons brought up Ernesto Rivera, another trash heap pickup from this winter, age 29, to make his major league debut out of the pen. Jose Alaniz, who pitched an inning in Tuesday’s loss, would make the next start in the twice-deserted #5 slot.

No, Ottinger was not coming back. Ottinger was … I don’t know. We’d be lucky if we got a fluffy hat out of him come winter time.

Game 2
RIC: SS Obando – 2B K. Elder – RF Ritchey – LF Fleming – 1B Sarro – 3B Stedham – C K. Morris – CF Imler – P J. Santana
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – C Kilmer – 1B Anderson – CF Maldonado – SS Williams – P Bedrosian

Troy Greenway hit his 10th homer of the year to break the ice, a solo jack to lead off the bottom 2nd. Kilmer, Anderson, and Williams – the latter on an error by Stedham – filled the bases with one out for Bedrosian, who at least hit a sac fly, 2-0, before Berto lined out to Guillermo Obando. The Rebels mounted nothing against Bedrosian, having one hit through five innings, while the Raccoons’ ambitions were to try and set a new record for being caught stealing in a single game. Maldonado was thrown out in the fourth, Berto in the fifth. Greenway hit a line drive homer to right-center leading off the sixth, which moved the tally to 3-0. Singles by Kilmer and Anderson and two productive groundouts led to another run, 4-0, but what the Raccoons never got and hadn’t gotten for at least two weeks was that one big knock, that bases-clearing double, that 3-run homer, the thing that made you raise your fist and scream something stupid in ecstasy. No ecstasy on the 2039 Raccoons. At least Bedrosian dropped eight scoreless on the Rebels, his former team no less, just when I wanted to ask their GM to just take him back, no questions asked. Unfortunately Mauricio Garavito had trouble in the ninth, allowing a walk and two hits before being yanked with two outs, one run in, guys on the corners, and Kevin Morris (.278, 7 HR, 29 RBI) at the plate. Morris tagged Campbell with an RBI double, cutting the lead to two, but Chris Imler popped out to end the game. 4-2 Critters. Ramos 2-3, BB; Greenway 3-4, 2 HR, 2 RBI; Kilmer 3-4; Anderson 2-4; Maldonado 2-4; Bedrosian 8.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 3 BB, 3 K, W (2-2);

Somebody other than Sabre won a game??

Game 3
RIC: SS Obando – 2B K. Elder – RF Ritchey – LF Fleming – 1B Sarro – 3B Stedham – C K. Morris – CF Imler – P J. Murphy
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Hooge – 1B Anderson – C Morales – SS Williams – P Sabre

Sabre’s run of subtle dominance ended in the first inning, in which he cocked up three runs on five hits, including a 2-run homer by Dan Sarro. At least not Stedham… He was not fooling the Rebels, and it was not likely that he ever would. The Raccoons also didn’t get a base hit the first time through, although Berto walked twice in his first two attempts at the plate. Only the latter effort was met with some cooperation; Manny Fernandez singled him home to cut the hole to 3-1 in the bottom 3rd. The following inning, the Rebs were kind enough to produce a chance for the Raccoons, misplaying an Anderson grounder into an infield single before Obando tossed Morales’ potential double play ball past Kenny Elder for an error. Two on, one out, Elijah Williams dropped a soft RBI single, but now Sabre was up in a critical spot and grounded out for the second out. But Murphy kept collapsing, with Berto shooting a ball up the middle for a 2-out, 2-run single, and the bases filled up before Greenway popped out in shallow rightfield to strand three in a game the Critters led 4-3.

Then they lost Cosmo Trevino in a messy collision at second base in the top 5th. Kenny Elder went in hard to break up a double play, Williams made a bad throw, and Trevino landed with the back on the base. He lay there for a few minutes before agreeing to be picked up by Dr. Padilla and the assistant trainer. Maldonado, cold as ice, entered the game in the #2 hole, playing short, with Williams shifting over. The inning ended with a Fleming groundout, but the Rebels tied the game in the sixth, which saw Dan Sarro draw a leadoff walk and score on two singles. That was the last frame for Sabre, who got a no-decision after winning five games in a row.

David Fernandez had a clean seventh, then got in line for the W when Ed Hooge went deep to right off David Gerow. Stedham hit a double in the eighth that didn’t lead anywhere nice for Richmond, but the Coons scratched out two insurance runs in the bottom 8th, with two outs, getting Williams on with an infield single before Maldonado (single) and Manny (triple) raked RBI hits. Jermaine Campbell slipped to begin the ninth inning, allowing a single to Alfredo Rojas and a full-count walk to Obando, but then retired three in a row to give Portland a series win! 7-4 Coons. Maldonado 1-2, RBI; M. Fernandez 2-4, BB, 3B, 2 RBI; Hooge 2-3, BB, HR, 2B, RBI; Williams 2-4, RBI;

Pyrrhic victory, really, with Cosmo hitting the DL with back soreness. There was hope however that two weeks would be enough to get him to feel his bum again. Jose Brito won a promotion to AAA, batting .330 in St. Petersburg.

Raccoons (17-16) vs. Indians (14-21) – May 13-15, 2039

Second from the bottom in runs scored, bottoms in runs allowed – the Indians had some baggage. That might be an understatement actually for a team with a -71 run differential a week short of the first quarter post of the season. We were ahead 2-1 on the season series.

Projected matchups:
Bernie Chavez (3-2, 3.48 ERA) vs. Joe Robinson (1-3, 5.59 ERA)
Jose Alaniz (1-0, 3.45 ERA) vs. Arnie Terwilliger (2-3, 4.81 ERA)
Bryce Sparkes (1-4, 4.35 ERA) vs. John Nelson (2-2, 4.96 ERA)

Two southpaws, then a righty for this weekend set. Watch out for balls in the stands, though – while they were pretty terrible in most offensive categories, the Indians were actually third in home runs in the Continental League.

Game 1
IND: CF D. Gonzales – RF M. Ochoa – 3B Hutson – 1B Dodson – C E. Thompson – SS R. Johnston – LF A. Torres – 2B Madrid – P J. Robinson
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Williams – LF M. Fernandez – C Kilmer – RF Greenway – CF Maldonado – 1B Monge – 2B Brito – P Chavez

The weather was icky, with a brief rain delay in the third inning, and neither team made much of an offensive impact in the early innings anyway. The Raccoons had only two hits through four, and the Indians had three, then lobbed three more off Bernie Chavez in the fifth. David Gonzales singled home Alberto Torres for the first run of the night. The Raccoons got Jose Brito to second base at the start of the bottom of the same inning, which was the effect of a single and Torres having the ball bounce off his chest for an error. Bernie Chavez took care of business, shooting a 3-2 pitch through Pat Dodson for the game-tying single! The top of the order then did nothing but Jeff Kilmer and Jose Maldonado reached base the following inning and Robinson ran into Brito again with two outs, giving up a gapper in right-center that ended up being good for two runs and a 3-1 lead! Hooge batted for Bernie, who was on 90 pitches, but struck out, ending the inning.

The top 7th brought the actual major league debut of Ernesto Rivera. It came facing Mario Ochoa with two outs and Jose Madrid on second base, left there by Prieto. Rivera gave up a homer to tie the game, and I calmly walked up to the cabinet with the blunderbuss, retrieved it, and started to cram gunpowder down the barrel. Bottom 7th, a Dan Hutson error put Williams on, and Manny singled to put them on the corners with one gone. Kilmer hit a sac fly, Greenway singled, but Maldonado struck out as he continued to sink towards .200 …. After Sims held off the Indians in the eighth, the Raccoons did not have Campbell available for the ninth after two straight outings, one of which had been lengthy and arduous. David Fernandez got the ball instead, starting with the #8 hole and PH Sean Ebner. Him and David Gonzales hit a pair of homers to flip the score. 5-4 Indians. M. Fernandez 2-5; Brito 2-4, 2B, 2 RBI; Morales (PH) 1-1; Chavez 6.0 IP, 7 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 8 K and 1-2, RBI;

No, Cristiano, show it to me IN THE RULEBOOK that I can’t shoot Rivera *because he’s a rookie*! – (bangs fist on rulebook) Show it to me!!

Game 2
IND: CF D. Gonzales – 3B Hutson – 1B Dodson – C Ebner – RF Campisi – SS R. Johnston – 2B Munoz – LF M. Ochoa – P Terwilliger
POR: SS Williams – LF Ledford – C Kilmer – RF Greenway – 1B Monge – CF Maldonado – 2B Brito – 3B Hernandez – P Alaniz

While Monge drove in Ledford for a run in the bottom 1st, the Indians were all over Alaniz, leaving the bases loaded in the second and fourth innings. In the second, Alaniz walked Terwilliger with two outs, getting a pop from Gonzales, while in the fourth he struck out the pitcher with three on and one out, with Gonzales retired by Greenway in right. It was still all for naught, with the fifth beginning with singles up the middle by Hutson and Dodson, then a walk to Sean Ebner. Yanked for Prieto, Alaniz watched from the sidelines as Prieto plated a run with a wild pitch, then got two pops from Cyril Campisi and Ryan Johnston. Then Juan Munoz took him deep to left.

Greenway drove in Jeff Kilmer in the bottom 6th, only for Citriniti to walk two and concede a sac fly to Terwilliger in the seventh. It was all fruit- and pointless. Bottom 7th, Maldonado and Hernandez reached the corners with a pair of singles, which brought up the pitcher’s spot as the tying run, but we just didn’t have a righty stick against Terwilliger. Ed Hooge batted, poking .348 in general, and keeping it there with a sac fly that got a run home, but didn’t advance the Raccoons as a whole. Williams popped out to end the inning. The tying runs were on in the bottom 8th with Kilmer and Greenway, with Kilmer held at third base when Danny Monge singled to center to load ‘em up. Maldonado and his .219 bat had to come through, because the Indians were reluctant to send a right-hander that would bring out Berto for sure. Maldonado flew to right for another goddamn sac fly, and Brito grounded out, stranding the tying run on second and the go-ahead run on first. Ryan Johnston took Mauricio Garavito deep in the ninth for an insurance run, while Berto hit for Hernandez to begin the bottom 9th and walked against Alex Banderas. Oliver Anderson pinch-hit next, grounding into a fielder’s choice. Williams singled to center, bringing up Brad Ledford in a slump as the winning run. He struck out. Kilmer grounded out to short. 6-4 Indians. Greenway 2-4, RBI; Monge 2-4, 2B, RBI; Hernandez 2-3; Ramos (PH) 0-0, BB;

Alaniz filed his application for mop-up duties for life with five walks in a completely crap outing.

Ah, he has it good. At least he doesn’t have to watch himself and the other 24 clowns being a complete disaster defying PG-13 description.

Game 3
IND: CF D. Gonzales – RF M. Ochoa – 3B Hutson – 1B Dodson – C E. Thompson – LF Cassell – SS R. Johnston – 2B Munoz – P J. Nelson
POR: 3B Ramos – CF Hooge – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – C Morales – 2B Brito – 1B Anderson – SS Williams – P Sparkes

Troy Greenway made it a dozen bombs with a 3-run shot in the first inning, plating Hooge (who had gotten Berto forced at second base) and Manny. More sparkes flew in the third inning with back-to-back shots fired by Hoogey and Manny for a 5-0 lead while the Raccoons righty on duty allowed two hits and whiffed three in what looked a controlled outing that would have a good end early on. Two more shutout innings reinforced the impression before Manny Fernandez reinforced the lead with another solo homer in the fifth, that one finally chasing Nelson. Lefty Ben Stodolka allowed straight hits to the 6-7-8 batters to begin the bottom 6th, conceding a run before getting Sparkes to strike out bunting. Berto knocked him out with an RBI single instead, and Cesar Castillo replaced Stodolka after that. Hooge hit the next RBI single, Manny walked to fill the bags, and Greenway’s sac fly capped a 4-run inning that got the Raccoons into double digits.

By the end of the seventh, Bryce Sparkes had ten strikeouts and had rarely been challenged, with Dodson hitting a deep fly out in that inning amidst a sea of “not a whole lot” for Indy. The Indians continued to implode in the bottom 7th, with Sparkes even hitting an RBI double before the bases filled up with one out and three runs already home for Troy Greenway, now facing righty Tony Rivas. Troy had to settle for an RBI single, which still made this a 14-0 game. Morales singled home two, the Indians kept finding new dudes to toss baseballs, like righty Nate Norris, who met Oliver Anderson with three on and one out still and gave up a particularly loud one – GRAAAAAAAAAAND SLAAAAAAAAAMMM!!!

No Raccoon scored in the bottom 8th, which was a little offending, but Sparkes was still on a 3-hitter come the ninth and resumed pitching against the top of the order. Gonzales flew out on his 94th pitch. Ochoa was rung up. And Jose Madrid lifted one out to Maldonado in center to end the game. 20-0 Raccoons?* Ramos 2-4, 2 BB, 2 RBI; Hooge 3-6, HR, 3 RBI; M. Fernandez 4-4, 2 BB, 2 HR, 2 RBI; Greenway 2-4, HR, 5 RBI; Morales 2-5, 3B, 2 RBI; Brito 2-5, 2B; Anderson 2-3, 2 BB, HR, 4 RBI; Williams 2-5, RBI; Sparkes 9.0 IP, 3 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 11 K, W (2-4) and 1-5, 2B, RBI;

(blinks)

In other news

May 11 – Pacifics utility Tyler Miles (.643, 0 HR, 6 RBI) gets a rare start and lands four hits, including a bases-clearing triple, for 6 RBI in a 16-8 pounding of the Indians.
May 11 – SAC RF/LF/1B Carlos Cortes (.224, 5 HR, 15 RBI) will miss a month with an oblique strain.
May 13 – Boston’s OF/2B Moises Avila (.237, 2 HR, 20 RBI) drives in five runs from the leadoff spot in a 17-8 flush of the Loggers.
May 13 – Miners and Buffaloes poke away at each other for 18 innings before the Buffos walk off, 6-5, on 3B/1B J.D. Hampton’s (.111, 0 HR, 3 RBI) walkoff double.

FL Player of the Week: LAP UT Tyler Miles (.636, 1 HR, 9 RBI)
CL Player of the Week: POR OF Manny Fernandez (.317, 8 HR, 20 RBI), hitting .435 (10-23) with 2 HR, 4 RBI

Complaints and stuff

Lost in the Sunday riot was Oliver Anderson’s first career homer, but I was busy at that point covering myself in honey and dancing around the table, naked. Maud objected. Slappy, too. Cristiano didn’t.

Also, where is that offense when we need it??

Somehow, the Indians also won two games while in town, and left with another 17 runs subtracted from their run differential, which was now -88. Their expected record was 11-27 rather than 16-22, and Sunday was their sixth game of allowing double-digit runs and their third of allowing at least *16*. The Pacifics had bumped them for 16 this Wednesday. They also were under the Falcons’ wheels for 17 runs in the first week of the season.

That is a lot of attention to one admittedly memorable game, but can’t plaster over what was another dismal 3-3 week against mediocre-at-best competition. The Rebs are not so bad. The Indians are VERY BAD. And yet, the Raccoons lost twice to them. Perversely we gained a game in the standings, but I am NOT happy.

Losing Cosmo makes everything worse, but it’s only for two weeks, I’m told. He will totally be fine. Totally.

Fun Fact: Bryce Sparkes pitched his fourth career shutout on Sunday.

It’s also the closest he’s gotten to a no-hitter with only three hits allowed. His other shutouts were 5- and 6-hitters. Half of his shutouts were with the Falcons, and half of them were against the Indians.

+++

After 3,726 hours, still getting new Steam achievements…

[Westheim]

Oh come on, Cristiano. You’re kidding me! You have won 25 times in a row! – (shakes fist and shows rock while Cristiano shows paper) Damn it! How do you *do* it?? – (shakes fist again and shows scissors, while Cristiano shows rock) This is impossible! – Stop grinning! – (shakes fist again and shows paper, Cristiano showing scissors) This can’t be. You look like any .420 team coming in here and winning the series with flying colors! – Yes, I mean your wheelchair. I underestimated you. I must change my game here! – (shakes fist once more and shows rock, Cristiano showing paper) Oh come on, you’re cheating!

(door to Maud’s room is broken out of its hinges and three black-clad guys in battle gear with plasma guns giving off a blueish hue pour into the room, poking their guns in every corner, before each of them yells “bezopasno!”)

(shakes fist while shaking his head and shows scissors, losing to Cristiano showing rock) Goddamnit!!

(Maud pokes her head through the door) I don’t know, Maud, whether the gentlemen would like a coffee, I don’t speak Russian very well.

(Nick Valdes leisurely comes in, getting shouted at by one of the stromtroopers before telling them something in Russian; one of the thugs goes hiding behind a not very covering plant, while two make their exit through closed windows, one breaking through the glass window next to Slappy on the couch, and the other thumping off the acrylic glass window overlooking the baseball field, twice, before crawling out of the door to Maud’s room)

Hi Nick. – No, Slappy, I wouldn’t clean this up, either.

Raccoons (18-18) vs. Crusaders (17-20) – May 16-19, 2039

First dips with the Crusaders for the year. They were in the bottom three in runs scored and barely mediocre in runs allowed. They did have the best bullpen in the league, but they had their hands full covering for a ninth-ranked rotation.

Projected matchups:
Ryan Bedrosian (2-2, 4.83 ERA) vs. Dave Hils (2-5, 4.85 ERA)
Raffaello Sabre (5-0, 2.13 ERA) vs. Gabriel Lara (0-5, 7.29 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (3-2, 3.18 ERA) vs. Casey Pinter (2-0, 2.79 ERA)
Jose Alaniz (1-1, 4.12 ERA) vs. Jamal Barrow (1-1, 3.12 ERA)

Three right-handers, except for Pinter on Wednesday? It was hard to tell; there was some flux in their rotation ever since trading Bill Quintero to Tijuana on the 8th of the month. Pinter f.e. had only pitched out of the pen so far this season. He had 16 starts and 62 relief appearances in the years before. Hils would also start on short rest, like he needed that extra challenge.

Game 1
NYC: LF J. Garcia – 3B Sifuentes – 2B Russell – RF Salek – CF Besaw – 1B Rudd – C J. Herrera – SS J. Adams – P Hils
POR: 3B Ramos – CF Hooge – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – C Kilmer – 2B Brito – 1B Anderson – SS Williams – P Bedrosian

Dave Hils singled after Bedrosian had retired eight in a row, but left with shoulder discomfort in the bottom of the inning which wasn’t going to help the Crusaders’ staff going forwards. Lefty Todd Lush replaced him, gave up singles to Manny and Greenway, then a 2-out, 3-run homer to Jeff Kilmer for the first runs on the board. Nick Valdes nodded excitedly, and even the stormtrooper-containing plant jiggered in celebration. The Raccoons got their own injury an inning later, with Elijah Williams racing home from second on a Berto single to right, making it a 4-0 game, but he did not make it back out for the fifth inning, having tweaked his back. Maldonado replaced him.

Bedrosian did not allow a hit to a position player until the seventh inning, when the Crusaders suddenly found the sticks. Chris Russell doubled leading off, beating Hooge in center. Joe Besaw doubled him home, then scored on a Tom Rudd double to cut the lead in half, 4-2. After a full-count walk to Juan Herrera Bedrosian was yanked, and Citriniti inherited the tying runs aboard. Jim Adams grounded into a fielder’s choice, and Ryan Carr struck out to end the inning. Bottom 7th, the Critters loaded the bags on 1-out singles by their 2-3-4 hitters against lefty Julian Ponce. Kilmer hit a sac fly to center, Brito hit a grounder that Adams cut off at the edge of the infield dirt, but had no play anymore, allowing Manny Fernandez to score from third base. Danny Monge hit for Anderson and was nicked, before Jesus Maldonado tried to dispel the slow rot with a fly to deep riiiii- GRAAAAAAAAAAAND SLAAAAAAAAAAMMMM!!!

That gave Portland an 8-run lead, and after a Travis Sims inning that was scoreless in the eighth the Raccoons felt emboldened enough to bring Ernesto Rivera again in the ninth. He walked Besaw, then struck out Rudd. The next three batters all singled, moving the tying run into the same zip code as the ballpark, so Rivera was yanked for Jermaine Campbell. It was not a save situation yet, but we wouldn’t want to ******* create one from an 8-run lead. Campbell then created one, allowing four runs on singles by Juan Garcia and Ramon Sifuentes, before retiring Russell and Rich Salek to end the game. 10-7 Raccoons. Ramos 2-4, RBI; M. Fernandez 3-5; Greenway 2-4; Kilmer 1-3, HR, 4 RBI; Brito 2-4, RBI; Maldonado 1-2, HR, 4 RBI; Bedrosian 6.1 IP, 4 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 2 K, W (3-2);

(sits at high tea with Maud, Cristiano, Slappy, Nick Valdes, and the stormtrooper) I know, Nick, I know, but they *won*, in *your* honor. They don’t go out and win just every day!

Ernesto Rivera (67.50 ERA) was sent back to St. Petersburg. Infielder Steve Nickas was brought up to cover while Elijah Williams was day-to-day with back spasms, which could last for another few days. Nickas, 25, was a .216 batter in 176 at-bats over three seasons.

Game 2
NYC: LF J. Garcia – 3B Sifuentes – C D. Phillips – 2B Russell – RF Salek – CF Besaw – 1B Carr – SS J. Adams – P Lara
POR: 3B Ramos – CF Hooge – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – C Morales – 2B Brito – SS Maldonado – 1B Monge – P Sabre

Chris Russell went deep of Sabre in the first, collecting Sifuentes for a 2-0 deficit. The Raccoons got Hooge on in the first, but Fernandez hit into a double play, while in the second inning Troy Greenway singled and stole a base, then was thrown out at home on Brito’s single. The Critters only scored in the third on back-to-back leadoff doubles by Danny Monge and Raffaello Sabre, with Berto reaching on a Russell error after that, moving the tying run to third base. Hoogey got it done, singling up the middle, but then the inning fizzled out with three poor at-bats, and the Crusaders took a 3-2 lead after leadoff singles by Russell and Salek in the fourth. Rudd plated the go-ahead run with a groundout.

Nick Valdes suggested more runs to take the lead, which was not an entirely terrible plan. A chance materialized in the fifth with singles by Sabre and Berto, a Ryan Carr error to put Manny aboard with two outs, and Troy Greenway came up with the bases loaded and two down, but popped out to first… Instead the Crusaders got another run off a slightly blunt Sabre, Besaw singling home Phillips in the sixth, 4-2. Maldonado and Monge reached with two outs in the bottom of the inning, but Brad Ledford whiffed pinch-hitting for Sabre… Garavito gave up a run in the seventh, with Gabriel Lara leading off with a double up the line. Garcia singled, while Sifuentes plated the pitcher with a double play grounder, 5-2. While the Raccoons proved unable to mount a challenge in the eighth, the Crusaders got two more runs out of a completely hittable Prieto, who even had the bags still loaded with one out in the ninth when Russell hit into a double play. Bottom 9th, down five, and with a grumbling owner hatching plans to sell the team, the Raccoons opened with a Jeff Kilmer double out of the #9 hole against John Hennessy. Berto grounded out, but Ed Hooge singled Kilmer home and Manny went yard, and suddenly it was a 2-run game with Julian Ponce entering. Greenway’s single brought up the tying run, and Elijah Williams pinch-hit for an 0-for-4 Tony Morales, but struck out. Brito popped out to Greg Ortiz at third base to end the game. 7-5 Crusaders. Hooge 2-4, BB, RBI; Greenway 2-4; Brito 2-5; Monge 2-3, 2B; Kilmer (PH) 1-1, 2B;

Our only victory here was Prieto hitting infielder Steve Sierra in the shoulder well enough to leave him day-to-day with a nasty bruise.

I know, Nick, I know. They lost. – Here, have some more cake, maybe?

We were in a long string of games and had to start weaving in some off days for regulars, too. Brad Ledford would sit down Manny Fernandez on Wednesday against righty Jamal Barrow. We surely expected a lefty pitcher on Thursday then, so a very mixed lineup was expected for that game since we’d not likely get another southpaw on the weekend.

Game 3
NYC: LF J. Garcia – 3B Sifuentes – C D. Phillips – 2B Russell – RF Salek – 1B Rudd – CF Pohl – SS J. Adams – P Barrow
POR: 3B Ramos – CF Hooge – LF Ledford – RF Greenway – 2B Brito – 1B Anderson – C Morales – SS Maldonado – P Chavez

What was the worst thing? That the Raccoons played like *** or that Nick Valdes remained in town to consistently complain about it? In any case, the weather was iffy on Wednesday, and Bernie Chavez was no better, allowing a leadoff walk to Salek in the second, then an RBI double to Rudd. It was the pitcher, Jamal Barrow, to single home the first-sacker with two outs that made me contemplating stabbing the nagging Valdes to death with my cake fork, then doing the same to myself. I knew Maud and Cristiano wouldn’t hold me back, but wasn’t so sure about the stormtrooper in the plant.

The Crusaders added four runs in the third inning, taking a 6-0 lead. The bases were loaded right away, with Chavez balking in a run, allowing an RBI single, and Morales mixed in a passed ball for fun. Jim Adams’ 2-out single made it six then. And the thing was that the Raccoons had only six relievers in the pen to cope with the Williams injury, and Bernie Chavez hopefully didn’t think getting mauled by bears in the first three innings excused him from completing 100 pitches. He was hung out there to pitch another three innings, six in total, but then again the Crusaders didn’t bother anymore because the game was already in the bag for them and the bin for us. The Raccoons didn’t even get a base hit until the fourth inning, when Ed Hooge singled, and didn’t reach scoring position until the sixth when with Maldonado on first, Danny Monge hit a pinch-hit double to right. One run on a Ramos sac fly was all the Raccoons got, and instead the Crusaders got two runs off Travis Sims in the eighth. Pat Pohl singled, Jamal Barrow tripled (…), Nick Valdes was very upset, but Barrow of course scored right away on Juan Garcia’s single. We then sat through an hour-long rain delay in utter silence, which was very comfortable, before the game concluded with not much action at all in the last inning and a half. 8-1 Crusaders. Monge (PH) 1-1, 2B;

Interlude: Trade

Thursday brought a new Raccoons reliever in right-hander Chris Miller (0-0, 0.00 ERA, 1 SV). The 32-year-old had only been in four games for the Blue Sox this year, having only signed a contract in April.

Miller had been a Raccoon once before for a month in 2035, then acquired from the Cyclones before nearly burning the clubhouse down and being released. It didn’t matter. We needed an arm.

The Blue Sox received lifelong failure 1B Chiyosaku Maruyama in the deal, while we go the vice-president of the Second National Association of Registered *****, or SNARC for short.

Steve Nickas, who went 0-for-1 in two days, was sent back to AAA to make room on the roster.

Raccoons (18-18) vs. Crusaders (17-20) – May 16-19, 2039

Game 4
NYC: LF J. Garcia – 3B Sifuentes – 2B Russell – C D. Phillips – CF Besaw – 1B Rudd – SS J. Adams – RF Salek – P Pinter
POR: 2B Brito – CF Hooge – LF M. Fernandez – C Kilmer – SS Maldonado – RF Ledford – 1B Monge – 3B Hernandez – P Alaniz

This game looked like a budding disaster just from the lineup alone (never mind the arrival of seemingly random daily roster moves), but at least the Coons took a lead, Kilmer singling home Manny Fernandez, who had doubled, all with two outs in the first. Monge (single), Hernandez (nailed), Brito (walk) loaded them up with two outs in the bottom 2nd, but Hoogey whiffed. The next inning saw not only Alaniz holding on by the barest thread, but also Brad Ledford limping off after legging out an infield single. “Lower back” was the call by Dr. Padilla, who prescribed icing, but didn’t tell anybody what to do in terms of replacement. The Raccoons’ bench was not constructed in a way to allow either Berto or Troy Greenway to continue their day off. The latter removed the bib and changed from eating to playing pants and would thus bat sixth from here on out. The inning continued with Monge, who had Manny and Greenway on the corners with two outs, got drilled to fill the sacks, and then Joel Hernandez randomly went yard to right – GRAAAAAAAAAAND SLAAAAAAAAMMM!!!

The pint was consumed by the fourth, Ed Hooge tripling and scoring on a Fernandez single ending the lefty’s day in a 6-0 game. We then waited for the budding collapse that Alaniz had hinted at repeatedly in the early innings, but after walking two in the first few innings he found control over his pitches and by the middle innings he steadily clicked off New York batters. Tom Rudd with two outs in the fourth was the last base runner for the Crusaders before a string of 1-2-3’s ensued that carried Alaniz all the way into the ninth inning, but admittedly on fumes and 99 pitches. When he walked Sifuentes to begin the inning, the plug was pulled instantly. New acquisition Chris Miller got into it right away, walked Devin Phillips, but got out of it without allowing a run. 6-0 Coons. Fernandez 2-3, BB, 2B, RBI; Monge 1-2, BB; Hernandez 2-3, HR, 4 RBI; Alaniz 8.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 3 BB, 7 K, W (2-1) and 1-4;

I know, Nick, I know. – This team makes you insane. Same for me! – So you leave now because they left you with nothing to complain about? – No, no, don’t feel obliged to stay. No, no. – Alright, farewell. Farewell. – (door closes behind Valdes) – Nick? … Nick! … You forgot your stormtrooper!!

Raccoons (20-20) vs. Falcons (16-25) – May 20-22, 2039

The Falcons were horrendous. But the Raccoons would show you a magic trick to make them look like serial All Stars right after the introduction! Charlotte had lost seven in a row, while the Raccoons had hugged .500 as tightly as possible for more than a week. They were eighth in runs scored, sixth in runs allowed, and the masters of the 1-run loss, being 5-15 in these tight games. We had won five of the nine games in the season series last year.

Projected matchups:
Bryce Sparkes (2-4, 3.58 ERA) vs. Keith Black (1-4, 4.20 ERA)
Ryan Bedrosian (3-2, 4.56 ERA) vs. Matt Moon (0-2, 3.52 ERA)
Raffaello Sabre (5-1, 2.54 ERA) vs. Jose Lerma (0-6, 3.76 ERA)

Southpaw on Sunday after all!

The Raccoons now had two day-to-day casualties on the bench, with both Elijah Williams and Brad Ledford both hampered by stinging backs for at least another day. All that remained beyond those two was a spare catcher, a spare first baseman, and one leftover infielder with Maldonado continuing to man short in lieu of Williams, which *did* allow for Ed Hooge’s hot paw to remain in the lineup.

Game 1
CHA: 2B O. Aguirre – SS Aparicio – 3B Farfan – C M. Cook – LF Esperanza – RF Salto – CF Aarhus – 1B Blades – P Black
POR: 3B Ramos – CF Hooge – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – 2B Brito – C Kilmer – 1B Anderson – SS Maldonado – P Sparkes

The Falcons broke through Sparkes in the second inning, with a Ruben Esperanza single, Greg Aarhus walk, and Brett Blades’ ribs catching a baseball loading the bags with one out against Sparkes, who then fumbled Black’s grounder for an infield single. 1-0 became 3-0 on Oscar Aguirre’s double to left, before Tony Aparicio lined out to Maldonado and Jose Farfan hacked himself out. Mitch Cook opened the third inning with a single to center, but was doubled off by Esperanza. Salto reached instead, and was doubled in by Greg Aarhus, 4-0. Berto walked, stole a base, and was brought in by Manny in the bottom 3rd, but at that pace they would never win another game.

Sparkes, who pitched into the seventh, allowed a total of five leadoff singles, which was aggravating enough. Aguirre’s seventh-inning single was followed by an Aparicio pop, and then David Fernandez replaced him, getting out of the inning after nailing Mitch Cook. The Raccoons were still on one run on five hits and two double plays chumped into. Maldonado reached with an infield single in the bottom 7th, after which Black sat down another five Raccoons. The top 9th saw Citriniti being dismembered fully and completely, with Chris Robinson’s pinch-hit leadoff homer, a Maldonado error, an infield single, and then another bomb hit by Mitch Cook. Perversely, after falling 8-1 behind, the Raccoons rallied in the bottom 9th all of a sudden. Brito, Kilmer, Anderson all reached base against Jong-hoo Cho, who allowed a 2-run double to Maldonado, 8-3. Tony Morales grounded out poorly, and Berto plated a run with a grounder for the second out. Hooge reached, Manny and Greenway hit singles off Josh Livingston, and the winning run was at the plate in Jose Brito – who flew out to Aarhus. 8-6 Falcons. Hooge 3-5, 2B, RBI; Greenway 2-5; Maldonado 3-4, 2B, 2 RBI;

Nothing, Maud. I’m just staring into the plant, and wonder whether I should say something that makes the stormtrooper go mad enough to melt me with his plasma gun.

Game 2
CHA: 2B O. Aguirre – CF J. Reyna – 3B Farfan – LF Esperanza – RF Salto – SS Santana – C Alicea – 1B Blades – P Moon
POR: 3B Ramos – CF Hooge – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – 2B Brito – 1B Monge – C Morales – SS Williams – P Bedrosian

Both teams had a 2-out runner in the first inning and both were caught stealing, so there was that. The first scoring occurred in the third inning with Ryan Bedrosian being undressed for the usual 4-spot, three of them earned, but the error involved was his ******* own. Brett Blades reached base to start the frame, with Moon’s bunt thrown away by the Raccoons’ tosser. Aguirre hit a soft single to load them up, and Jonathan Reyna and Ruben Esperanza both hit 2-run singles to give Charlotte a 4-0 lead. Another unearned run scored in the fifth, this time on a Monge error that put Esperanza on first with one out while Reyna jogged to third base. Salto then hit a sac fly to left, which would have been the third out without the Monge mishap.

The Raccoons had their own 4-spot in the bottom 5th, which started with Brito, Morales, and Williams all singling for one run. Ledford hit another single, loading the bases. Berto popped out, annoyingly, while Ed Hooge drew a bases-loaded walk, 5-2, and Manny singled in two, 5-4, before Greenway flew out to Salto. Moon then surrendered straight hits to Brito (double), Monge, and Morales to get the game tied in the bottom 6th, but the bases would remain loaded after a 2-out walk by Berto, with Ed Hooge flying out to center against lefty Chris Watson. Williams and Oliver Anderson had already made poor outs against Moon, leaving the game tied at five. Top 8th, Prieto walked the first two batters after a scoreless seventh, and when Garavito replaced him with PR Paul Vespucci and Salto on base, he got a grounder before nailing John Alicea. The Raccoons went back to a righty with Sims, but Charlotte sent lefty batter Chris Robinson with three on and one out. For their troubles they got another four runs on three hits Sims surrendered to Robinson, Aarhus, and Reyna before Hooge caught a Jose Farfan fly to end the inning.

Portland? Loaded the bases against Ernie Quintero in the bottom 8th. Monge singled, Williams singled, Kilmer walked in the #9 hole, bringing up Berto with one out, but Ramos flew out on a 3-1 pitch, the Coons only getting the sac fly run out of it. Hooge struck out, stranding two. 9-6 Falcons. M. Fernandez 2-5, 2 RBI; Brito 2-5, 2 2B; Monge 2-4; Morales 2-4, RBI; Williams 2-4, RBI;

“Monge mishap” is also what I name the $283,333 check I sign for him every month.

Game 3
CHA: CF J. Reyna – SS Aparicio – 3B Farfan – C M. Cook – RF Salto – 2B Santana – LF Aarhus – 1B Blades – P Lerma
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Williams – LF M. Fernandez – C Kilmer – RF Greenway – 1B Monge – CF Hooge – 2B Hernandez – P Sabre

Sunday’s early 4-spot was brought to you by Jeff Kilmer, mostly, hitting a 3-run homer after straight singles by the first three batters the Raccoons carted up in the bottom 1st. Lerma didn’t get an out until Monge flew out to left, with Greenway, Hooge, and Hernandez singles adding a fifth run. Sabre struck out, but Berto dropped a 2-out single into left, plating Hooge, with 6-0 the tally once Williams flew out to center. And now everything I asked for was Sabre being *decent*. Decent as a pitcher, and decent as a human being. *Decency*, Raffaello! *Decency*! Top 2nd, Mitch Cook was down 0-2 and homered, and I spontaneously kicked over the coffee table because I just couldn’t ******* take it anymore. THAT’S NOT ******* DECENCY!! YOU DOOR KNOBS!!! Sabre put two more in the inning, but none more scored. He didn’t finish the third though, coming out with back pain. Which was just wonderful. I AM ALSO IN PAIN ALL THE ******* TIME because of you DOOR KNOBS, and yet I AM THE LAST ONE TO GO ******* HOME EVERY DAY!!

The Raccoons had to pick 19 outs before they’d give up five runs now, which sounded just about impossible. The doctor ordered length, so we went to Travis Sims. The hope was to complete the fifth with him, and then piece it together from there, and he at least got through four before the offense stirred against Bobby LeMoine in the bottom 4th. Berto walked, followed by three singles. Manny plated Ramos for a 7-1 lead, while LeMoine left with his own injury before having to face Greenway with three on and nobody out. Greenway had no RBI for the entire week, but got one here for a groundout against lefty Chris Watson. Monge popped out, Hooge flew out, and the inning dissipated. Sims walked two in the fifth, but somehow wiggled out of there on a K and two grounders, then even batted a second time and doubled in the bottom 5th, although nothing greater came of that. After 3.1 scoreless from Sims the Coons got a quick seventh from Citriniti, and Chris Miller pitched the eighth for nothing more than a solo shot by Brett Blades. At this point we could afford taking a solo shot per inning; I was less enthusiastic about Blades’ 2-out, 2-piece off Jermaine Campbell in the ninth though… 8-4 Raccoons. Ramos 2-4, BB, RBI; Williams 2-5; M. Fernandez 2-4, 2B, 2 RBI; Anderson (PH) 1-1; Kilmer 2-2, 2 BB, HR, 3 RBI; Greenway 2-5, 2B, RBI; Maldonado (PH) 1-1; Sims 3.1 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 3 K, W (3-0) and 1-2, 2B;

In other news

May 16 – The Loggers will be without 3B/2B Jared Paul (.296, 6 HR, 23 RBI) for three months. The 23-year-old sophomore is out with ruptured finger tendons.
May 18 – Wolves SP Nate Ward (1-0, 2.25 ERA) 2-hits the Gold Sox in a spot start, taking the 4-0 win.
May 18 – The Condors acquire almost-40-year-old 1B Jay Elder (.293, 0 HR, 8 RBI) from the Titans for INF Donovan Bunyon (.274, 0 HR, 5 RBI). Tijuana also receives a prospect, unranked CL Larry Thompson.
May 18 – The Scorpions take in SP Al Scott (2-2, 4.35 ERA) from the Capitals for RF/LF Ed Thompson (.6-for-18, 2 HR, 8 RBI) and a prospect, then add SP Tommy Kubik (2-2, 3.69 ERA) from Richmond, along with cash, for two prospects including #35 SP Gabe Blanco.
May 19 – Hard-luck ATL SP Chris Lulay (1-6, 4.18 ERA) is on the losing end of a 1-hitter, 2-0 against the Thunder. The only knock for Oklahoma is a solo homer by C Rick Urfer (.204, 1 HR, 4 RBI). The other run scores on two walks, a grounder, and a sac fly.
May 19 – NAS OF Stephon Nettles (.235, 0 HR, 2 RBI) could be out for the year with a torn rotator cuff.
May 20 – A groin strain rules out Scorpions LF Joreao Porfirio (.259, 1 HR, 9 RBI) for the next three weeks.
May 22 – Cincy’s SP Vinny Olguin (5-1, 3.63 ERA) spins a 3-hit shutout against the Warriors. He strikes out three in the 3-0 win.
May 22 – Especially impressive for a catcher, LVA C Danny Gomez (.299, 4 HR, 16 RBI) has a 20-game hitting streak. The 23-year-old pokes two singles in a 2-0 win over the Crusaders to reach the mark on Sunday.

FL Player of the Week: PIT 1B Danny Santillano (.357, 15 HR, 43 RBI), batting .452 (14-31) with 3 HR, 10 RBI
CL Player of the Week: IND 3B Dan Hutson (.249, 11 HR, 32 RBI), hitting .379 (11-29) with 4 HR, 9 RBI

Complaints and stuff

Sometimes, there are no words.

Sometimes, they just can’t get anybody out.

Sometimes, no matter who comes in, they’ll leave tire marks on your back.

Sometimes, even Capt’n Coma can’t help you anymore.

Sometimes, I just wanna go home.

(kills the light in the office with Maud, Slappy, Cristiano, and Valdes' stormtrooper still sitting around the toppled table)

Fun Fact: Alberto Ramos is on 1,998 career hits.

Maud, I assume he will want some cake for the occasion. And a few steaks. Ah, let’s just order half a cow covered in fudge. I can’t be arsed anymore……..

+++

I think the time for a day off has come … -.- … Although that could be in the form of dissecting the draft pool tomorrow. If I am not still busy pulling out all my fur by then…

[Westheim]

2039 DRAFT POOL ANALYSIS

The new draft pool was a bit weird. The pitching side had a reasonable amount of talent, but the batting side was kinda … well, meh.

There were piles of ho-hum catchers and first basemen on our list, and our system already held quite an amount of ho-hum catchers and first basemen, so while we might take one of each after all, we weren’t going to waste our #20 pick on one of them. The exception might be Dan Whitley, a 20-year-old in college at Arkansas, who might be an OBP guy with a keen eye, but then again had typical catcher speed, which means no speed. Very good arm, good game calling – lots to like.

Like I said, there was no shortage of pitchers, although our analysis of the boys was a bit opposite to BNN’s. BNN listed six position players in their top 10 prospects, and only one of their pitchers on the list matched up with a guy at the top of our draft board. I had no doubt that Kevin Nolte would go in the top 3 in the draft. 92mph fastball, BIG curve, nasty forkball, groundballer – what was the hesitation? I’d take him without asking twice at #20.

Well, yes, there were stories about Nolte being a social recluse that was crafting puppets resembling his enemies and lighting them on fire in his back garden, but come on, check out his curveball again …!*

We had 102 players on the shortlist (including five 2-way players, although none of them was an interesting starting pitcher to begin with, and only two were actually included in the shortlist both as pitcher and hitter), and Scout Man had come up with a hotlist of a dozen or so players again (* high school players):

SP Kevin Nolte (13/16/13) *
SP Jeff Johnson (13/12/11)
SP Corey Mathers (12/13/9)
SP Eric Jacobson (11/14/15) * - BNN #8
SP Bobby Campbell (11/12/13)

CL Aaron Durham (20/14/11)
CL Jesse Beggs (18/13/10)

C Dan Whitley (9/11/18) – BNN #4

INF/RF Ronnie Thompson (16/4/20)
3B/SS Matt Waters (11/10/10) * - BNN #9
SS Josh Jackson (11/10/10) – BNN #7

OF/1B Alex Marquez (9/10/8)
OF Dave Lee (10/11/14) – BNN #2

*Yes, his personality ratings are that bad. :-P Very low leadership and loyalty, low work ethic, high greed.

[Questdog]

Ronnie Thompson is my prediction for the pick, if he has a serviceable glove.

[Westheim]

Originally Posted by Questdog

Ronnie Thompson is my prediction for the pick, if he has a serviceable glove.

I condense the defensive ratings into a simple grade, and I gave him a +1. Very good range, but the arm is only so-so, if I remember right, so he could either be a Gold Glove serial winner at second, or a good, but not great shortstop.

[Westheim]

Raccoons (21-22) @ Condors (19-24) – May 23-25, 2039

Maybe getting outta Portland was what the Raccoons needed. Too many distractions, with the food and all, and … and the river. I don’t know. I’m just making **** up by now. The Condors were second in runs scored, but also gave up the second-most runs, but should be better record-wise with a -8 run differential. Their rotation was the worst in the CL, though, and maybe the Raccoons’ offense could keep being a threat even as their own pitching got hosed on a daily basis. The Condors had won the season series in ’38, going 5-4 against the Critters.

Projected matchups:
Bernie Chavez (3-3, 3.94 ERA) vs. Jimmy Driver (3-2, 4.62 ERA)
Jose Alaniz (2-1, 2.93 ERA) vs. Bryce Neal (4-2, 4.42 ERA)
Bryce Sparkes (2-5, 3.81 ERA) vs. Bill Quintero (2-5, 4.18 ERA)

Handedness would match for all the games in the series, so we’d get a lefty on Tuesday in the middle game. The Condors didn’t have major injuries. The Raccoons wouldn’t get Cosmo Trevino back until the weekend.

Game 1
POR: 3B Ramos – CF Hooge – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – 2B Brito – 1B Anderson – C Morales – SS Williams – P Chavez
TIJ: CF Simmons – SS Strohm – RF Willie Ojeda – 2B Ragsdale – LF Dunlap – C Wall – 3B R. West – 1B Vitalini – P Driver

Both teams had only one base hit the first time through. Tony Morales had a single for Portland, but was doubled up by Williams, while Giacomino Vitalini singled to left with one down in the bottom 3rd, but the Condors didn’t get into scoring position either. While Justin Simmons struck out to end the inning, that was the first K for Bernie, who let the defense do most of the work… Both teams had a pair of runners on soon after. Berto walked and Greenway singled in the fourth, which led nowhere, and the Condors got Tom Dunlap and ex-Coon Kurt Wall onto the corners with leadoff singles in the bottom 5th, but Rhett West critically hit a comebacker for a 1-6-3 double play. Vitalini was walked intentionally to get Jimmy Driver up, who grounded out; scoreless through five.

Alberto Ramos opened the sixth with a single, which was his 1,999th base hit as an ABL player. He was then quickly forced out by Ed Hooge and the inning went nowhere in particular. Anderson opened the seventh with a single though, and Tony Morales beat the range of Dunlap for a double; two Raccoons in scoring position and nobody out for Elijah Williams, who hit a liner over West and down the line for a 2-run double! He was left in scoring position; Berto walked with one out, but nobody else had anything cookin’ atop the lineup. Bottom 7th, Dunlap with a leadoff single, and then it went rather quick with a walk to West and a pinch-hit infield single by Chris Murphy. Bases loaded, one out, Josh Turley, a left-hander, batting for Driver, and what now? Mauricio Garavito came in, ran a full count and gave up a looper to left for an RBI single. Critically, Rhett West was sent from second, and the ancient Titans threat was thrown out by Manny Fernandez for the second out. Antonio Prieto gave up the game-tying single to Justin Simmons instead….

Tied again in the eighth, the Raccoons did nothing. Dylan Ragsdale doubled off Prieto in the bottom 8th, but was stranded on a couple o’ pops, and the Condors even loaded the bases against a completely unhelpful Dennis Citriniti in the ninth inning, but Chris Strohm and Willie Ojeda hit consecutive pops to strand all three runners and send the game to extra innings. What joy. Top 11th, the Raccoons did nothing against lefty Daniel Risk until Williams flipped a 2-out single. Danny Monge batted for the pitcher and walked. That brought up Berto, and what would be better for #2,000 than a 2-run triple now!? He flew out to Simmons in shallow center. That was the last Raccoons’ chance while David Fernandez pitched his arm off for three innings to keep his dismal team in a game they would probably not win anyway. Kilmer hit for him to begin the top 14th, but popped out. Berto walked, Manny livened up an 0-for-6 with a single, but Greenway flew out to right. Jermaine Campbell was the last Raccoons pitcher available other than Alaniz, which was bitter enough. Campbell had a scoreless 14th, extending the game further beyond anybody’s pain threshold. In the 15th, John Landrum hung one to Jesus Maldonado in the #6 hole (he had pinch-hit for Anderson hours ago), and the ball was belted over the fence to FINALLY break the tie. Campbell batted with two outs and Williams on first in the inning, making the third out, but it wasn’t like there was much choice. At least the Condors were out of bench guys and Landrum had to bat and struck out in the bottom of the inning. West singled with two outs, but the Condors did not come back. 3-2 Raccoons. Williams 5-7, 2B, 2 RBI; D. Fernandez 3.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 1 K; Campbell 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 1 K, W (2-0);

Berto had one hit and three walks, so it wasn’t all bad with him. It was all bad with Ed Hooge, though, who went 0-for-7.

For Tuesday, Berto was on the bench with the lefty up, and we had at most four relievers behind Alaniz. Campbell, Fernandez, and Citriniti were all unavailable.

Game 2
POR: SS Williams – CF Maldonado – LF M. Fernandez – C Kilmer – 1B Monge – 2B Brito – RF Ledford – 3B Hernandez – P Alaniz
TIJ: SS Strohm – C Sawyer – RF Willie Ojeda – 2B Ragsdale – CF Simmons – 3B R. West – LF Dunlap – 1B J. Elder – P Neal

The #2 and #3 offenses (as of Monday morning) continued to do precious little in the early innings. It wasn’t until the fourth inning that somebody reached third base, and of course it was a Condor, and of course Ragsdale scored. He had singled, advanced on Fernandez’ error, and then scored on a sac fly eventually. Portland flipped it in the fifth, though, with Danny Monge reaching on an error by fellow first-sacker Jay Elder, and two batters later Brad Ledford rammed his first home run of the season in the place of a slightly sore Troy Greenway. Hernandez doubled off the fence after that, and with two outs scored on a Williams single, 3-1. Bottom 5th, Neal single, Mike Sawyer single, Ojeda RBI single… and a Ragsdale homer tore Alaniz and the entire game apart, and the Raccoons just couldn’t stop giving up seven ******* runs a game. Rhett West hit a solo bomb to make it 6-3 in the inning – almost there! Alaniz was yanked after a leadoff double by Bryce ******* Neal to begin the sixth, although Chris Miller got three outs without allowing the runner to score.

The score got narrower in the eighth with Danny Monge’s 2-run knock off Neal, scoring Maldonado and Manny Fernandez from scoring position with two outs. Brito popped out, and right-hander Steve Bailey walked Ledford to begin the ninth inning, putting the tying run aboard. Berto hit for Hernandez and walked, and Hooge hit for Garavito and struck out. A soft roller by Williams became an infield single, stacking the bags for Maldonado, and while sending Troy Greenway to pinch-hit was in theory a good idea, he had already been burned a few innings earlier. Oops. Morales and Anderson were the only bats left on the bench, and neither was double-play proof. Maldonado grounded into an out at home instead, smartly played by Strohm, and the Raccoons were down to the final out with Manny – getting nicked. That tied the game indeed. Unfortunately Kilmer grounded out to keep it tied, and now the Raccoons had a problem. Prieto was the only guy left in the pen. After Prieto they were on Wednesday’s starter, Bryce Sparkes. Prieto got three outs in a row, extra innings, swell, and Brito’s single and Ledford’s double put runners in scoring position with one out against Bailey. Berto struck out (!!), but Hooge came through, zipping an 0-2 pitch through West for a 2-run double! Ray Andrews restored order (too late), but the Raccoons still had to get another three outs from Prieto. Ragsdale popped out. Simmons tripled, yuck. West popped out. Dunlap walked… Stop fussing around there!! Go after Elder! He’s a million years old! And he grounded out to short. 8-6 Raccoons. Williams 3-6, RBI; Ledford 4-4, BB, HR, 2B, 2 RBI; Hooge (PH) 1-2, 2B, 2 RBI; Prieto 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 1 K, W (2-2);

For Wednesday, no relievers were really rested, but we’d probably scrape by. Thursday was thankfully off. Four of the next five Thursdays were in fact off days.

But, eh, above .500 again!

Game 3
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Williams – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – 2B Brito – CF Maldonado – C Morales – 1B Monge – P Sparkes
TIJ: CF Simmons – SS Strohm – RF Willie Ojeda – 2B Ragsdale – LF Dunlap – C Wall – 3B R. West – 1B J. Elder – P Quintero

Willie Ojeda went deep to right to begin the scoring in the first inning, but the Coons tied it up the following half-inning. Greenway drew a leadoff walk, then got a good jump on a Maldonado double to center and scored easily before Justin Simmons’ throw. Morales and Monge made poor outs though, and Maldo was left stranded. The Raccoons remained on two base hits, and so did the Condors, although Simmons got nicked and reached third base on a stolen bag and a passed ball in the bottom 3rd before being stranded, and Ragsdale singled, stole second, and also was stranded on third base in the bottom 4th.

Then the milestone came – in the fifth inning, with Danny Monge on second and two outs, Alberto Ramos zinged a single to right! That was #2,000! Monge was too slow to score, and Williams flew out to center, so the Raccoons scored them on the corners.

The game remained tied through five, six, seven. The Raccoons had four hits through seven, Sparkes had only allowed three, whiffing six, but had also offered 100 pitches already. He was brought back for the bottom 8th against Jay Elder, trying to coax a lefty pinch-hitter out of the Condors. That happened – Murphy pinch-hit in the #9 hole after Elder popped out. David Fernandez got a K from him, but then Citriniti got torn apart. Simmons singled. Strohm ripped an RBI double, and Ojeda clipped an RBI single. Two 2-out runs off the right-hander, and after Ragsdale finally struck out, it was Ray Andrews in the ninth against the 5-6-7 batters. Brito flew out, but Hooge batted for Maldonado and singled. Morales popped out. Anderson hit for Monge with two down, fly to center… nah, Simmons was on it. 3-1 Condors. Hooge (PH) 1-1; Sparkes 7.1 IP, 3 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 6 K;

Sigh.

Cosmo came off the DL for the series in Atlanta. Jose Brito (.264, 0 HR, 3 RBI) was returned to AAA.

Raccoons (23-23) @ Knights (22-25) – May 27-29, 2039

The Knights were third from the bottom in runs scored, but fifth in runs allowed, which still worked out to a -7 run differential. The Raccoons had already had trouble scoring against the Knights, so that could only end well… We had swept them in the first set this year, though.

Projected matchups:
Ryan Bedrosian (3-2, 4.64 ERA) vs. Danny Orozco (4-3, 4.43 ERA)
Raffaello Sabre (5-1, 2.58 ERA) vs. Terry Garrigan (4-4, 4.67 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (3-3, 3.81 ERA) vs. Chris Lulay (1-7, 4.53 ERA)

Left, right, left. We missed out on their best two starters here, with Brad Santry (5-2, 2.84 ERA) having been out on Wednesday, and Alex Aguilar (0-2, 3.60 ERA) on the DL.

Game 1
POR: SS Williams – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – C Kilmer – RF Greenway – CF Maldonado – 1B Monge – 3B Hernandez – P Bedrosian
ATL: CF N. Velez – LF Inoa – C Horner – 2B Matos – 1B LeClerc – 3B Maneke – RF N. Nelson – SS Thomson – P Orozco

The Raccoons had but one base hit in five innings, Danny Monge’s RBI single to score Kilmer in the second, erasing Adam Horner’s first-inning bomb. The 1-1 tie prevailed through five even though Bedrosian allowed five hits and wasn’t all that great once more, but the Raccoons got Cosmo on with a leadoff walk in the sixth. Manny singled, moving him to second, and Kilmer walked in a full count. Three on, no outs for Greenway, who had a homer draught, but we’d take a bases-clearing double all the same. We got strike three and a pop by Maldonado that helped zero, but Monge squeezed a single through between Chris Maneke and the bag for a pair of 2-out runs and a 3-1 lead. Hernandez hit an RBI single, and Bedrosian reached on an error to fill the sacks again, but Williams grounded out. Bedrosian, ever the disappointment, gave two runs right back with a leadoff walk to Nelson Velez, and RBI hits for Horner (double) and Jesus Matos (single). A 5-4-3 double play bouncer off Justin LeClerc’s bat bailed out the Raccoons’ right-hander.

Then came the seventh and an interesting move after a Manny Fernandez triple with one gone. The Knights walked Kilmer with intent, bringing up Greenway with two on. Come on, Troy. Shove them one! He popped out, Maldonado flew out, but at least we managed to drag Bedrosian through seven without blowing the 4-3 lead… Garavito and Miller scrabbled through the eighth with a Luis Inoa single against the former, but still no runs allowed. Top 9th, Mike Simcoe walked Kilmer and Greenway with one gone, threw a wild pitch, walked Monge with two outs, and the Raccoons, desperate for an insurance run, batted Ramos for Hernandez against the left-hander, hoping for another walk, but got a fly to left for no gains, except worse defense in the bottom 9th. Thankfully no ball came that way while Campbell retired the Knights in order. 4-3 Critters. M. Fernandez 2-5, 3B; Kilmer 0-0, 4 BB; Monge 2-4, BB, 3 RBI; Anderson (PH) 1-1;

Game 2
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – SS Williams – 1B Anderson – CF Maldonado – C Morales – P Sabre
ATL: CF N. Velez – LF Inoa – C Horner – 2B Matos – 1B LeClerc – 3B Maneke – RF N. Nelson – SS Thomson – P Garrigan

The Raccoons scored three in the opening inning – all unearned. The inning began with a Nelson Velez error putting Berto aboard, and Cosmo doubled. Manny popped out and Greenway walked before Williams got the first run in on a groundout. Garrigan’s wild pitch made it two, and after Oliver Anderson walked, Maldonado dropped an RBI single, 3-0. Sabre gave a run back right away, with Velez and Inoa singling, and Horner hitting a sac fly. After this came a long string of half-innings where a team would either a guy on and hit into a double play, or just stranded them at second base. The Raccoons reached third base with Manny Fernandez in the third, but didn’t get him all the way around, with Anderson popping out, until the sixth, when actually both teams went down 1-2-3 for the first time in the game. Cosmo singled and stole his 10th base in the top 7th… and was still stranded. Anderson singled in the eighth … then was doubled up by Maldonado. Bottom 8th, Sabre struck out PH Abel Madsen in the #9 hole, but with the top of the order all left-handed, the Raccoons went to David Fernandez after that; Sabre was on 98 pitches, having allowed just four hits. Velez and Inoa went down in order. Fernandez entered in a double switch, and would stay in should the Critters score two in the ninth (ha-hah!); Monge and Berto hit 1-out singles off Simcoe, chasing him for righty Matt May. Cosmo singled to load the bags with one out for Manny, who squeezed a walk out of May, 4-1 and the first marker on the board since the first inning, and that gave Greenway another 3-on chance. He ran a full count, then laid off junk and also settled for the bases-loaded walk, which was actually his first RBI of the week. Williams popped out. David Fernandez was next, with Anderson out on the double switch, but now we were up by four – and Fernandez was sent to the plate. He flew out to Nate Nelson, then resumed pitching, retiring the 3-4-5 in order to end the game. 5-1 Furballs! Trevino 3-5, 2B; Greenway 1-2, 2 BB, RBI; Maldonado 2-4, RBI; Monge 1-1; Sabre 7.1 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 2 K, W (6-1); D. Fernandez 1.2 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 2 K, SV (1);

A WINNING WEEK!!

(can’t close mouth)

Game 3
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Williams – 2B Trevino – RF Greenway – C Kilmer – LF Ledford – CF Maldonado – 1B Monge – P Chavez
ATL: CF N. Velez – LF Inoa – C Horner – 2B Matos – 1B LeClerc – 3B Maneke – RF N. Nelson – SS Thomson – P Lulay

After an eventfree first, the Raccoons loaded them up with one gone in the second. Kilmer getting nicked ahead of Ledford and Maldonado singles. Danny Monge and Bernie Chavez both popped out, and that was that. The bottom 3rd began with a Keith Thomson homer, and then Bernie just kept piling them onto the basepaths. Lulay singled, Velez singled, Inoa walked, and Horner doubled in two. Matos was out on a comebacker, but LeClerc’s groundout made it 4-0 and even with Maneke grounding out to Monge, the game looked lost.

After a Ledford double went to waste in the fourth, the Raccoons got leadoff singles from Bernie and Berto to begin the fifth. Williams grounded into a force at third base. Cosmo and Greenway struck out. Yup, this game was not going to go into the W column…! Kilmer and Maldonado were on the corners with two outs in the sixth and the pitcher’s spot up. Ed Hooge pinch-hit and grounded out to Matos. Williams and Cosmo reached in the seventh, and were stranded on Greenway’s fly to left and Kilmer’s own groundout to Matos. Dominique Dichio socked a pinch-hit homer off Sims in the seventh, like that mattered anymore, and an explosion of base hits involving Garavito and Citriniti added two more runs in the same inning. The Raccoons ceased even trying after that. 7-0 Knights. Ramos 2-5; Ledford 2-4, 2B;

In other news

May 24 – 24-year-old Aces righty Willie Gallardo (5-3, 2.45 ERA) spells the Loggers for the entire game, walking three and whiffing five, but never giving up a hit in the 4-0 Aces win! It is the second no-hitter for the Aces franchise (Nick Danieley, 2034), and the first for them at home.
May 24 – In the same game, the hitting streak of LVA C Danny Gomez (.293, 4 HR, 16 RBI) ends at 20 games.
May 25 – The Bayhawks acquire LF/RF Dick Oshiita (.284, 2 HR, 12 RBI) from the Cyclones for two prospects.
May 26 – The Rebels acquire SP Mike Mihalik (8-1, 2.42 ERA) from the Warriors for unranked prospect Bobby Schmitt. The outfielder, 21, was #89 in 2037, but dropped out of the top 200 afterwards.
May 26 – Grim news for the Thunder, with 21-year-old catcher phenom Jesus Adames (.364, 4 HR, 15 RBI) hitting the DL after breaking his leg in an on-base collision. He will miss at least six weeks.
May 26 – PIT SP Jonathan Dykstra (7-2, 2.93 ERA) goes eight innings of 3-run ball in a 13-4 win over the Stars, driving in five runs himself. Those are the first RBI for him this season, and he was now batting all of .080.
May 28 – After playing 15 innings with the Raccoons on Monday, the Condors play another 15 innings with the Indians on Saturday, winning 2-1.

FL Player of the Week: DAL 2B Hugo Acosta (.330, 2 HR, 27 RBI), hitting .625 (15-24) with 9 RBI
CL Player of the Week: ATL C Adam Horner (.258, 8 HR, 27 RB), batting .480 (12-25) with 2 HR, 8 RBI

Complaints and stuff

Winning week while allowing more runs than we scored (21-22) … I’ll take it. Pretty can come later, right now we need to write the score in green into the pocket calendar any way we can. May was a nightmare. June can hardly get worse.

I say that with the confidence of knowing that the next series is in San Fran, starting Monday, nothing good ever happens at the Bay, but we’ll play two in May and one in June, so that’s that. We will be in Milwaukee next weekend, finishing the load road trip. When we’re back home, the damn Elks will be as well as the Gold Sox. We actually haven’t seen the Gold Sox in *five* years. Or, for perspective: last time the Raccoons played the Gold Sox, Manny Fernandez was a rookie.

The four walks Jeff Kilmer drew on Friday tied the franchise record which has been achieved my multiple Critters in almost every decade. Berto did it once in ’33, and Jesse Stedham in between. Clyde Brady did it three times, and he was still the Avatar of Losing.

Drew Johnson comes off the DL now; thinking of shifting Alaniz back to the pen, but nobody in the bullpen has options or they have 10/5 rights. So the other option is to option Alaniz to AAA.

Fun Fact: Alberto Ramos is the third Raccoon to reach 2,000 base hits with the franchise.

Matt Nunley (2,457) and Cookie Carmona (2,299) are all that are left ahead of him in the hits table. Since Berto has mostly been a singles slapper (and especially since about 2036), he is not in the top 3 in franchise total bases though:

RACCOONS LEADERS BY TOTAL BASES

1st – Matt Nunley – 3,407
2nd – Daniel Hall – 3,142
3rd – Cookie Carmona – 2,878
4th – Neil Reece – 2,853
5th – Tim Stalker – 2,699
6th – Alberto Ramos – 2,466
7th – Tetsu Osanai – 2,373
8th – Mark Dawson – 2,323
9th – Adrian Quebell – 2,104
10th – Yoshi Nomura – 2,069

[Westheim]

Raccoons (25-24) @ Bayhawks (26-23) – May 30-June 1, 2039

Three over .500 was good enough for second place, one game out, in the South. San Francisco had won five straight as well, and they were second in runs scored and sixth in runs allowed. They were a team that was drawing lots of walks (11th in average), could hit bombs, but was second from the bottom in stolen bases. With Salvador Ayala and Edgardo Balderrama two of their better batters were on the DL, though. The Raccoons had swept them in the first set of the year.

Projected matchups:
Drew Johnson (2-2, 3.90 ERA) vs. Ryan Kinner (3-3, 4.09 ERA)
Bryce Sparkes (2-5, 3.52 ERA) vs. Rick Haugh (1-3, 5.31 ERA)
Ryan Bedrosian (4-2, 4.55 ERA) vs. Josh Long (8-1, 2.15 ERA)

All three starters here were right-handers.

Game 1
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – C Kilmer – CF Hooge – SS Williams – 1B Monge – P Johnson
SFB: CF M. Hall – 2B Schneller – LF Oshiita – RF D. Martinez – C Sailas – SS Greer – 3B Barcia – 1B Uliasz – P Kinner

Berto led off with a single, was forced out by Cosmo, but Cosmo stole second and scored on a Manny single. Greenway doubled to left, missing a homer by not much, and Jeff Kilmer made it 2-0 on a groundout, but Ed Hooge flew out to Mike Hall in deep center to end the inning. After Williams’ leadoff double in the second was wasted, and Kilmer hit into a killing double play with Trevino and Greenway on the corners in the third inning, the Raccoons laid down for a little snooze. Drew Johnson allowed four hits through five, including a solo homer hit by Dave Martinez, but maintained a 2-1 lead with some ho-hum pitching. No flash, but no extreme panic either.

The sixth began with Greenway whiffing, but then Jeff Kilmer doubled to left, and Ed Hooge did him one better, knocking a home run over the fence in right to extend the lead to 4-1. The Bayhawks countered immediately this time, clipping Johnson for three hard hits and a run on a Robbie Sailas single, but also stranded the tying runs on the corners in the bottom 6th. Johnson got Sergio Barcia to pop out, and Justin Uliasz flew out to right, but Greenway had arrived at the end of his usefulness here, and the pen would get involved going forwards. Chris Miller gave up three loud knocks in the seventh, all of which somehow found a glove. The Bayhawks then went to the corners against David Fernandez in the eighth, Dick Oshiita and Dave Martinez ripping singles to start the inning. Sailas struck out, after which Prieto replaced Fernandez against righty batters. Marshall Greer flew out to Greenway in shallow right, while PH Vinny Chavira grounded out to Trevino on 0-2, again denying the Bayhawks their comeback bid. Top 9th, Portland loaded the bases with one out; Oliver Anderson pinch-hit and doubled. Berto walked, after which reliever Jon Salls left with an injury. Marcus Goode replaced him, but allowed a single to Cosmo. Manny struck out, but with two gone, Greenway slapped a ball through the left side and two insurance runs scored! Tony Morales hit for Kilmer against the righty and hit an RBI single, after which Hoogey popped out foul. Dennis Citriniti then did his darndest to created a save situation in the bottom 9th, but with two on and one out Joel Hernandez – in for D to begin with – took a sharp Dan Schneller bouncer and turned it into a 5-4-3 game-ender. 7-2 Raccoons. Ramos 2-4, BB; Trevino 2-4, BB; Greenway 2-3, 2 BB, 2B, 2 RBI; Morales (PH) 1-1, RBI; Hooge 2-5, HR, 2 RBI; Williams 2-4, 2 2B; Anderson (PH) 1-1, 2B;

Game 2
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – 1B Anderson – SS Williams – C Morales – CF Maldonado – P Sparkes
SFB: CF M. Hall – 2B Schneller – LF Oshiita – C Sailas – SS Greer – 3B Barcia – RF Chavira – 1B Uliasz – P Haugh

Greenway singled home Manny Fernandez, who had tripled, for a 1-0 lead in the first, and the second was even better, with Morales and Maldonado reaching scoring position for Berto to single both of them in, 3-0, and Cosmo landed another single off unimpressive Rick Haugh. Manny grounded out and Greenway popped out unluckily right at the netting, stranding those two. Haugh walked Williams and Morales in the third inning, then allowed a single to Maldonado to fill the bags for … eh, Bryce Sparkes with one out. Instead of striking out, Sparkes tried to be the hero, spanked a ball into a double play, the Coons got nothing, and then I waited for the Bayhawks to rally and sit on his face… or, alternatively, pick bits of intestine from his ripped-apart stomach with their beaks. The bags were full *again* with Berto, Cosmo, and Greenway in the fourth. With one out, Oliver Anderson emptied them with a double over Mike Hall’s glove, doubling the score to 6-0 and ending Haugh’s misery (3.1 IP, 11 H, 6 ER). Tony Morales made it 7 ER with a 2-out, 2-strike double off Lorenzo Viamontes, then was left on when Maldonado flew out.

That seemed like the ballgame; Sparkes was quite on and the Bayhawks didn’t have a threat going until the sixth, when they got two on with one down, but Dan Schneller popped out and Dick Oshiita flew out to center. The Raccoons were bold enough to remove Cosmo, Berto, and Greenway for replacement in the middle of the seventh, with Hooge, Ledford, and Hernandez coming in (and Maldo moving to third base to make up the numbers). This promptly disrupted the balance of space and time as well as Sparkes, who gave up a George Hawthorne double with two outs in the bottom 8th, then two singles to the 1-2 batters to bust the shutout. Garavito came in and got a lazy fly to left from Oshiita. Noe Candeloro (who?) gave back that run on three hits to the Raccoons in the top 9th, and Garavito and Travis Sims finished the game without greater panic. 8-1 Raccoons. Ramos 3-4, BB, 2 RBI; Trevino 2-5; Greenway 1-2, 2 BB, RBI; Anderson 2-5, 2 2B, 3 RBI; Morales 2-4, BB, 2B, RBI; Maldonado 3-5, 2B; Monge 1-1, RBI; Sparkes 7.2 IP, 6 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 6 K, W (3-5);

This win moved the Raccoons up to third place, five games out, after they had wallowed in fourth for a few weeks. The Loggers dropped behind them. The Titans were in second, exactly halfway between the Coons and the damn Elks.

Game 3
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – CF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – LF Ledford – 1B Monge – C Morales – SS Maldonado – P Bedrosian
SFB: CF M. Hall – 2B Schneller – LF Oshiita – RF D. Martinez – C Sailas – SS Greer – 3B Barcia – 1B Uliasz – P J. Long

Portland would score first again, but not until the fourth inning and not until after Ryan Bedrosian had shuffled the bags full with a single and two walks in the bottom 3rd, then struck out Oshiita to escape the mess. Manny and Greenway hit singles to open the top 4th. Ledford grounded out, advancing them, but Danny Monge hit a double up the rightfield line, 2-0. With two outs, Maldonado bombed to left, 4-0. The Raccoons would have the bags full again in the sixth, but left them that way when Trevino popped out. Maldonado hit a double in the inning, which put him at 3-for-3 for the day, and a triple away from the cycle. After five shutout innings, Bedrosian meanwhile considered it time to implode, putting Schneller and Oshiita on base to begin the home half of the sixth, then wasted no time in giving up a home run into the second deck to Dave Martinez. That cut the lead down to 4-3 in no time…

Portland rebounded against Long, who hadn’t been shackled like this in a while, with a leadoff double by Fernandez in the seventh. Greenway singled, going to 4-for-4, all singles, no RBI, on the day. Ledford hit an RBI double to right, 5-3, and Long was gone after that. Monge hit an RBI single, Morales hit a sac fly off Candeloro, and then Maldo needed a triple, but hit a double … and with that I mean into a double play, ending the inning, but having countered the Baybirds’ 3-spot with one of our own at least. Bottom 7th, Dennis Citriniti got hold of the 7-3 lead and retired nobody, conceding a single to Uliasz, a walk to John Hansen, then a 2-run triple to Hall. Prieto replaced him, still didn’t retire anybody, with Schneller getting nailed and Oshiita tying the game with a double. Bravó, boys! Bravó! You dare to come ******* home tonight!!!

With the game locked at seven (and the Raccoons out-hitting the Baybirds 15-7 …), Elijah Williams hit a leadoff double in the eighth, then was stranded by the 1-2-3 batters. Troy Greenway’s fifth hit of the game was a leadoff triple off Tim Thweatt in the ninth, and he was ALSO stranded. Comebacker, pop, pop went the 5-6-7 charade brigade. Jermaine Campbell, rarely used to actually get a save, extended the game to extras, which started with Maldonado against Thweatt, but his liner to right was cut off by Dave Martinez before it reached the corner, and Maldo had to hold at second base – so close to the cycle! But no cigar. And maybe again no run. Williams popped out. Oliver Anderson, batting #1 after two double switches, walked in a full count. And Cosmo broke it open! Liner through the left side, up the line, a 2-run double!! Manny’s fly to center also meant that Greenway came up a sixth time, but walked, never getting anything to hit. Ledford hit an RBI single, after which Campbell was up. He batted and whiffed, ending the inning, then got back to pitching. Martinez hit a solo homer off him in the bottom 10th, but that was all the Bayhawks got anymore. 10-8 Raccoons. Trevino 2-6, 2B, 2 RBI; M. Fernandez 2-6, 2B; Greenway 5-5, BB, 3B; Ledford 2-6, 2B, 2 RBI; Monge 3-6, 2B, 3 RBI; Maldonado 4-5, HR, 2 2B, 2 RBI; Williams (PH) 1-2, 2B;

What a bitter disappointment of a game.

We moved up to second in runs scored though, 15 markers behind the damn Elks.

Raccoons (28-24) @ Loggers (28-26) – June 3-5, 2039

Final stop of the long road trip, with the Critters longing for home and unlimited supplies of fudge.

There was a lot of average about the 2039 Loggers. Sixth in runs scored, sixth in runs allowed. Their rotation was in the top 3, but undone by a terrible pen. Offensively, they were fifth in batting average, but below average in OBP and power. Stolen bases, fifth. Lots of so-so. Also lots of injuries, with Alfredo Vargas, Danny Valenzuela, and Jared Paul all on the shelf for the time being. The season series was tied at three.

Projected matchups:
Raffaello Sabre (6-1, 2.43 ERA) vs. William Stockwell (3-5, 4.69 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (3-4, 4.11 ERA) vs. Sergio Piedra (3-3, 3.78 ERA)
Drew Johnson (3-2, 3.75 ERA) vs. Joe Feltman (5-3, 1.87 ERA)

Stockwell would be the only left-handed opponent this week.

Game 1
POR: SS Williams – 2B Trevino – CF Maldonado – RF Greenway – C Kilmer – LF M. Fernandez – 1B Monge – 3B Hernandez – P Sabre
MIL: 1B Ronan – RF I. Vega – SS Del Vecchio – LF J. Nelson – C F. Gomez – 2B V. Acosta – CF Torri – 3B Garnier – P Stockwell

Berto was not out of the game for long, with Joel Hernandez leaving with an injury right in the first inning. That also left Berto batting eighth, but it was what it was… Offense came from Danny Monge with a solo homer in the second, his first with the Coons, and then he was back at the plate in a 1-0 game in the fourth. Kilmer (walk) and Manny (single) were aboard with two outs, and Monge popped out foul at 1-2… except that Joseph Ronan dropped the ball and Monge got another shot, this time ripping a 2-run double to right for a 3-0 lead. Justin Nelson countered with a solo homer in the bottom of the inning, so the Loggers were not entirely flummoxed by Sabre, who was going for his seventh win, which had to be close to a personal single-season high… A Ronan jack in the fifth narrowed the score to a single skinny run, though, and while the Coons twice got somebody to second base with two outs in the fourth and sixth innings, both times Berto was up and was intentionally walked before Sabre made the third out. Sabre kept bleeding on the mound, too, putting the insufferable Ted Del Vecchio and Felipe Gomez on the corners with singles in the bottom 6th before Victor Acosta hit into an inning-curtailing 6-4-3.

Portland saw lefty Rob Clack in the seventh, with Williams and Cosmo going to the corners on a pair of singles. Clack was walking more than he struck out with an ERA over six, so maybe that was the time to pounce. Maldonado grounded out, Greenway struck out, Kilmer grounded out, and nobody ******* scored. Sabre was hit for in the eighth with no effect, but at least David Fernandez and Chris Miller combined for a 1-2-3 eighth against the Loggers’ 1-2-3. Off Raul de la Rosa in the ninth, Cosmo hit a 1-out single, stole second base, and was stranded with a K and a grounder. Oh boy! But all would be well as long as Jermaine Campbell didn’t give up a run in the bottom 9th, two days removed from two innings for the W in San Francisco. Justin Nelson promptly hit a leadoff triple. Gomez spanked a bouncer at Berto, who remained in control of it and threw to first in time, with Nelson hugging the bag the entire time. All for naught – Acosta singled home the runner, and the game eventually dawdled into extras, for the fourth time on the road trip.

The 10th was uneventful, and the 11th opened with Oliver Anderson getting nailed by lefty Chris Cooper. That brought the top of the order up, with Williams used for bunting Anderson to second. Cosmo lined out, Maldo grounded out, and I was close to going out and strangling a few of them ON THE ******* FIELD. Justin Nelson reached third base in the bottom 11th, but was left on when Chris Sealock grounded out against Sims, who had allowed two hits in the inning. Portland was also back in scoring position in the 12th, with Kilmer singling off Cooper and Monge reaching on a 2-out, 2-base throwing error by Del Vecchio. Berto grounded out… (screams!) Top 13th, Ledford with a leadoff single in the pitcher’s spot, then a fielder’s choice poked into by Williams. Cosmo walked against righty Cesar Perez. Up came a pair that had been so close to something memorable in San Fran on Wednesday and was now a combined 0-for-12 in this game. Maldo popped out to right, 0-13. Greenway ate one strike, two strikes, then three – drive to right-center, long, high, deep, OUTTA HERE!! 3-run homer for Troy Greenway, #13 in the 13th!! Antonio Prieto retired the Loggers in order in the bottom 13th to make it stick. 6-3 Blighters! Trevino 2-5, 2 BB; Monge 3-6, HR, 2B, 3 RBI; Ledford (PH) 1-1; Sabre 7.0 IP, 7 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 0 BB, 5 K; Sims 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 1 K, W (4-0);

I ******* LOVE TROY GREENWAY!!

A roster move was required with Joel Hernandez to the DL owing to a strained oblique. He would be gone for a month. Jon Caskey was promoted from AAA, where he was hitting for an OPS over .800. The 25-year-old had been up for a bit last year, batting .139 in 43 PA. He was very much like Hernandez – a right-handed defensive third baseman that could also be used in the middle infield.

Game 2
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Hooge – 1B Anderson – SS Williams – C Morales – P Chavez
MIL: 1B Ronan – RF I. Vega – SS Del Vecchio – C F. Gomez – 2B V. Acosta – CF Coca – LF Sealock – 3B Garnier – P Piedra

When Greenway hit a leadoff single in the second, the Raccoons had a lineup that in the moment was hitting .300+ from the #1 slot all the way down to #7! Hooge and Anderson also dropped singles to fill the bags with no outs for Elijah Williams, who hit into a run-scoring double play, which was the only run the Critters got out of all the effort. A Ramos Special brought another run in the top 3rd, Greenway getting the 2-out RBI. All was well until Bernie Chavez nailed Maxime Garnier, who hit almost nothing, walked Joseph Ronan, and then gave up a 3-run bomb to ******* Ted Del Vecchio in the bottom of the inning. The game would be tied in the fifth in another Ramos Special, this time with Manny Fernandez getting the RBI on a groundout. Berto reached 10 stolen bases for the season in that inning – oh the days when he did that in April of a season …!

Chavez nailed Piedra in a bid to get impaled on a pike in the bottom 5th. Ronan singled, sending the pitcher to third base, and there was nobody out. The Loggers went up 4-3 on Ivan Vega’s groundout, but at least Ronan was stranded. A completely inefficient Bernie Chavez was hit for in the sixth with Williams and Morales on base and two outs. Ledford walked in the spot against righty Matt Tillman, replacing the equally-yanked Piedra. Berto held off for ball four as well, tying the game, while Cosmo flew out to Tony Coca to strand three, and the Critters parked another two in the top 7th. Bottom 7th, Citriniti got the first out from PH Travis Park, then was replaced with Garavito. The Loggers countered with Dan Torri to pinch-hit, and he singled, then stole second base. Vega grounded to short, with Williams fudging the ball, putting runners on the corners. Exit Garavito, enter Chris Miller, with Del Vecchio inevitably breaking the tie with a sac fly, 5-4. Gomez flew out. Maldonado pinch-hit for Morales and hit a leadoff single in the eighth, then was stranded on third base after Kilmer, Berto, and Trevino made outs in order. It was the second blood vessel-bursting game in a row, really. Prieto held the Loggers where they were in the bottom 8th, and then the 3-4-5 would be up against right-hander Raul de la Rosa. Manny singled, Greenway flew out, and Hooge hit into a double play. 5-4 Loggers. Greenway 3-5, RBI; Anderson 3-3, BB; Maldonado (PH) 1-1;

Arf.

Game 3
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Hooge – 1B Anderson – SS Williams – C Morales – P Johnson
MIL: 1B Ronan – CF Coca – SS Del Vecchio – LF J. Nelson – C F. Gomez – 2B V. Acosta – RF Torri – 3B Garnier – P Feltman

Hits by Ronan and Nelson in the first, a Torri triple and Garnier sac fly in the second, the Loggers were up 2-0 early against Johnson, who did not entirely badly, but wasn’t exactly great either, and the offense was also not there to rescue him. It took an infield single by Tony Morales (!) to begin the fifth, and then a 2-out single by Cosmo to get them on the board, and Manny Fernandez struck out soon after that to end the inning. Greenway opened the sixth with a single, but was doubled up by Anderson after Hooge struck out. Johnson came apart in the bottom 6th as the game got away; single, walk, RBI single without getting an out, then a run-scoring infield single for Torri after Acosta popped out. Sims got Garnier to line into Trevino’s glove, then struck out Felt- … and Tony Morales lost the ball, kicked it away, too, and Gomez scored as Feltman scampered to first base. OH BOY. Now, the Raccoons also scored a run with a passed ball in the seventh, but that was not really a spirit-raising event. David Fernandez got exploded for a 3-run homer (Nelson) in the bottom 7th, and another run fell out of Citriniti in the eighth. 9-2 Loggers. Greenway 2-4; Ledford (PH) 1-1;

In other news

May 30 – Boston southpaw Leonhart Becker (2-3, 1.27 ERA) 2-hits the Condors in a 4-0 win. He strikes out four while going the distance.
June 1 – The Knights beat the Crusaders, 9-0, with the game only remarkable for all the nine runs being scored in the ninth inning.
June 3 – CIN 3B/2B Ben “Nine Fingers” Freeman (.307, 1 HR, 11 RBI) has the Cyclones’ only hit, a double, in the Buffaloes’ 4-0 combined shutout between Miguel Alvarado (4-4, 3.71 ERA) and John Steuer (0-0, 1.57 ERA).
June 3 – SFB RF/LF/1B Dave Martinez (.302, 6 HR, 22 RBI) would miss three to four weeks with a strained biceps.
June 4 – Walkoff balk! Nashville’s Casey Moore (4-1, 3.21 ERA, 6 SV) is guilty, balking the Rebs’ Alfredo Rojas (.276, 2 HR, 15 RBI) across to give the Rebels a 10th-inning, 9-8 walkoff win.
June 5 – SFB SP Gilberto Rendon (4-3, 4.57 ERA) will be out for three months with a ruptured finger tendon.

FL Player of the Week: DAL C Pacio Torreo (.292, 12 HR, 40 RBI), swatting .409 (9-22) with 2 HR, 9 RBI
CL Player of the Week: MIL OF Justin Nelson (.333, 3 HR, 14 RBI), hitting .458 (11-24) with 3 HR, 9 RBI

FL Hitter of the Month: PIT 1B Danny Santillano (.350, 16 HR, 50 RBI), hitting .358 with 7 HR, 25 RBI
CL Hitter of the Month: IND 3B Dan Hutson (.263, 13 HR, 38 RBI), hitting .328 with 9 HR, 25 RBI
FL Pitcher of the Month: RIC SP Mike Mihalik (9-1, 2.40 ERA), tossing 5-0 with a 1.71 ERA and 25 K (he also got traded from the Warrios to the Rebs this month)
CL Pitcher of the Month: BOS SP Mario Gonzalez (8-2, 2.77 ERA), pitching 6-0 with a 2.58 ERA and 26 K
FL Rookie of the Month: DAL C Pacio Torreo (.271, 10 HR, 32 RBI), swatting .301 with 5 HR, 15 RBI
CL Rookie of the Month: IND 1B Pat Dodson (.275, 12 HR, 40 RBI), poking .287 with 9 HR, 29 RBI

Complaints and stuff

There were some grim truths in the June 1 scouting report, and let’s just say our scout guy, who has a name I never remember, can be lucky that I’m not allowed to kill the messenger. Let’s just say we only have half a bullpen left with sometimes grim ratings cuts to Campbell, Garavito, and Sims especially. The above-30 section of our infielders also got some downward adjustments…

The Raccoons are now 6-0 against the Bayhawks in ’39. They have never gone 9-0 against any CL South team (but they have sure gone 0-9…) in their history.

Fun Fact: Luxembourg’s finest, Johan Dolder was an Original Raccoon and lasted for three years, and never batted for more than a .559 OPS.

The outfielder just couldn’t hit a lick. That didn’t stop the 1977 Coons from giving him 448 at-bats for a .209 return with 4 homers and 31 RBI. And that was by far his best season. He was sent to the Crusaders after the 1979 season, along with Kevin Hatfield for three players among whom Pedro Hermundo was the least useless. Dolder appeared in only one game for the Crusaders, batting 1-for-4, and then disappeared from the majors. For his career he hit .203/.270/.275 with 4 HR and 41 RBI. And no, his defense didn’t make him worth it, either.

[Westheim]

This week started with … (pinches nose) … uah, I’m gonna barf… the damn, smelling Elks in the house. They’d be in for four, and I was not yet quite over having been swept in three games in the first set of the season series this year. In fact, there might still be some shards from my after-sweep rampage in some corners of the office, partially because Slappy can never be bothered to pick anything up, and partially I can never be bothered to hire somebody that will.

Raccoons (29-26) vs. Canadiens (35-20) – June 6-9, 2039

The damn, dumb Elks were first in runs scored *and* second in runs allowed, with the Raccoons sitting second and fifth, respectively. Our differential was +27, not quite up to snuff to their +68. Also, my mind was on vendetta.

Projected matchups:
Bryce Sparkes (3-5, 3.27 ERA) vs. Alexander Lewis (5-3, 5.19 ERA)
Ryan Bedrosian (4-2, 4.55 ERA) vs. Corey Booth (6-4, 2.87 ERA)
Raffaello Sabre (6-1, 2.44 ERA) vs. Matt Sealock (4-3, 3.65 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (3-4, 4.35 ERA) vs. David Arias (6-1, 4.00 ERA)

The series would start with a southpaw, then three right-handers. There were no significant injuries for the Elks, although Timóteo Clemente was said to have a sore hamstring.

Game 1
VAN: 2B Sprague – 1B Sibley – CF Outram – C Alba – RF R. Phillips – SS Cabral – 3B Ashley – LF M. Reyna – P A. Lewis
POR: SS Williams – 2B Trevino – CF Maldonado – RF Greenway – C Kilmer – LF Ledford – 1B Monge – 3B Caskey – P Sparkes

There was little to no offense in the early going. Through three scoreless innings, Sparkes allowed one hit against four strikeouts, then had Jerry Outram – batting merely .372 with 13 homers – and Fernando Alba set up camp on the corners with a leadoff walk and subsequent single. Ryan Phillips would pop out to shallow right before Sparkes struck out both Ramon Cabral and Ray Ashley to strand the damn Elks on the corners. Now, if only the Critters would come up with something! It took them until the fourth inning to reach second base, and then Ledford popped out and stranded Cosmo and Kilmer. In the bottom 5th, Danny Monge and Jon Caskey got on base to start the frame, and Sparkes bunted them over. Elijah Williams hit a fly to right that was deep enough to get Monge home, and Caskey then scored from second on Cosmo’s 2-out single. Trevino stole second, then came around when Maldonado singled between Miguel Reyna and Jerry Outram. Greenway popped out, ending the inning with a 3-0 lead.

So of course the damn, STUPID Elks immediately came up with two solo homers by Ross Sibley and Fernando Alba, reducing the lead to 3-2 in the sixth. Sparkes nevertheless held out into the eighth, striking out 11, including Glenn Sprague to begin the inning, but that was also his last batter. A wall of lefty bats was to follow, and he was on 108 pitches. The Raccoons sent Garavito, Garavito got a few on the snout, and Clemente (.402, 4 HR, 23 RBI) batted for Phillips, prompting a move to a right-hander with two outs. Prieto gave up a cozy fly to Ledford, and the inning ended. Bottom of the frame, Troy Greenway was brushed by Lewis, and Jeff Kilmer strafed him for a 2-run shot to left, giving the Critters the 3-run lead back, and Jermaine Campbell didn’t even fall over his own paws in trying to save the game. Although it *did* help that Ray Ashley was caught in a rundown after walking and going blindly on Miguel Reyna’s 1-out single… 5-2 Raccoons. Kilmer 2-4, HR, 2 RBI; Sparkes 7.1 IP, 4 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 1 BB, 11 K, W (4-5);

Game 2
VAN: 2B Sprague – 1B Sibley – CF Outram – C Alba – RF R. Phillips – SS Cabral – 3B Ashley – LF LeJeune – P Booth
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – SS Williams – 1B Anderson – CF Maldonado – C Morales – P Bedrosian

The vile beasts of the North took a 1-0 lead on a ball rammed out by Outram in the top 1st, but three singles by the 2-3-4 batters in the bottom 1st went a long way to cure that ill. Oliver Anderson (still, who?) led off the bottom 2nd with a double to right, Morales walked, and Bedrosian swung away and hit a bloop double on the rightfield line to get himself a lead. Berto added an RBI single, as did Cosmo. Manny walked, Greenway added a run with a fielder’s choice, and after Williams grounded out, Bedrosian took the ball back with a 5-1 lead he had had a paw in manufacturing. Then he tried to dismantle it, getting whacked around for two runners in the third, and four in the fourth, and only two 4-6-3 double plays kept the damage to a palatable amount – one run in the fourth. A leadoff double by Ramos into the leftfield corner and two productive outs pulled the run back in the bottom of the inning, 6-2.

Like Sparkes on Monday, Bedrosian threw 108 pitches, in his case for seven complete innings, with the last three of them rather uneventful. The Raccoons then tried to get a few outs from Citriniti, which was a bad mistake. He walked Clemente in the #9 hole to lead off the eighth, with Sprague grounding out. Citriniti then left with a blister, with Dr. Padilla assuring me he’d be fine in a day, while I inquired about amputation at the shoulder and collecting insurance with Steve from Accounting. The pitching change required was fine anyway – Citriniti wouldn’t have gotten within 20 feet of the middle of that order to begin with! David Fernandez came in, allowed a 3-2 single to Sibley, walked Outram to fill the bags, and I was getting knotty in my stomach. Alba hit a grounder to the right side for an out at second and Citriniti’s run to score. Phillips rolled out, thankfully, and Campbell saved another 3-run game, but would not be available on Wednesday. 6-3 Raccoons. Ramos 2-4, BB, 2B, RBI; Trevino 2-5, RBI; Anderson 2-4, 2B; Morales 1-2, 2 BB; Monge 1-1; Bedrosian 7.0 IP, 6 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 1 BB, 4 K, W (5-2) and 1-3, 2B, RBI;

For Wednesday, still no Clemente in the lineup – apparently that hammy was tweaking worse than thought.

Game 3
VAN: 2B Sprague – 1B Sibley – CF Outram – C Alba – RF R. Phillips – SS Cabral – 3B Ashley – LF M. Reyna – P Sealock
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – CF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – 1B Anderson – LF Ledford – SS Williams – C Morales – P Sabre

Ramos Special in the first, with Berto singling, stealing his 11th base, and coming home on a Greenway single with one out that also sent Manny (walk) to second. Anderson’s single filled the bases, Sealock’s wild pitch made it 2-0, but then both Ledford and Williams struck out. Vancouver made up a run in the second on Ryan Phillips reaching on an error by Berto, and racing all the way to third base on a throwing error by Morales. Cabral plated him with a grounder, and Sabre looked not amused. Neither did I. But amends were made – Tony Morales hit a leadoff jack in the bottom of the inning, and Berto was on base for Manny Fernandez to hit another one to left, extending the lead to 5-1!

Then the stupid, stinking Elks batted through the order in the fourth, tearing Sabre apart in the process. He didn’t help, either – hitting one batter (Ashley, with the bases loaded) and throwing not one, but TWO wild pitches in addition to giving up three hits and a walk. The nightmare continued in the fifth inning, with five singles hit off Garavito, which was bad enough, and then a pinch-hit, 2-out, 3-run double by Alex Perez off Chris Miller. That buried the Raccoons, 10-5, and I sought relief in Capt’n Coma, only for Maud to tell me that we were out. The day kept getting worse! Slappy waved to me so I went over to the couch and he showed me something else. Apparently, his step-cousin was brewing his own stew in a shack somewhere near the docks, and Slappy had a bottle of it. The label, on the bottle askew as to indicate its dubious provenance, spelled out “One-Eyed Jack’s” in thick red letters over the crude caricature of an equally red beaver with a black eye patch. I poured myself one, which burned in the mouth as well as the throat, then continued to burn in the stomach. I winced. Slappy nodded, grinning. It was almost enough pain to plaster over the Raccoons trailing the damn Elks by a pawful.

Soon it was more than that. The Raccoons scratched out an unearned run in the bottom 7th, Cosmo scoring on an errant throw by Phillips when he had no business doing so, but then had another colossal implosion in the eighth, Travis Sims’ second inning. The Elks put up three more, with Sims giving up two hits, two walks, there was another Morales error, also a wild pitch – but One-Eyed Jack’s replaced all that pain with the concern that my stomach was going to burn its way out of my body in either direction very soon. The Critters then got hold of Jordan Calderon, who retired nobody while giving up hits to Ledford, Williams, and Morales in the bottom 8th; also a pinch-hit 3-piece to right-center off Kilmer’s bat. Tim Zimmerman restored order before the Elks asked *Dusty Kulp* for the save. Walks to Greenway and Ledford brought up the tying run with one out, which was precisely how I thought I remembered Dusty Kulp, although terrible right-handed relief tended to melt together – especially with your innards licked by the flames. Williams and Morales both grounded out to spare us of a bonkers comeback that would live in our hearts forever. 13-10 Canadiens. Ramos 2-3, 2 BB; Greenway 2-4, BB, RBI; Anderson 2-5; Morales 3-5, HR, 2B, 2 RBI; Kilmer (PH) 1-1, HR, 3 RBI;

Well, that one hurt. But not as much as my backside after my morning session on Thursday.

(rolls up the Agitator and stalks into over to the desk in visible discomfort and with eyes cried red)

Slappy, we need to arrange regular delivery of that One-Eyed Jack’s stuff. – Alright, as soon as LaMont is out of jail. … Why’s he in jail after all? – Of course. – Wait, there’s a $5,000 bail for him? Maud! MAUD!! We need to write a check!!

Game 4
VAN: 2B Sprague – 1B Sibley – CF Outram – C Alba – RF R. Phillips – SS Cabral – 3B Ashley – LF M. Reyna – P Arias
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – C Kilmer – CF Hooge – SS Maldonado – 1B Monge – P Chavez

Arias hit consecutive Coons – Hooge and Maldo – with nobody out and Kilmer already on base in the bottom 2nd, which cried out for another Raccoons Special Move of not scoring a run in the most shambles way possible, but Danny Monge ruined all of it with a solid RBI single to center for the first marker on the board. Bernie then struck out, and Berto fed a grounder into a double play. Almost to script!

And then nothing really happened until the seventh inning, when Bernie loaded the bases on a walk to Alba, a pinch-hit single by tweaked Timóteo Clemente, and a walk drawn by PH Jacob Kolbe. David Fernandez came in for Reyna, faced Alex Perez instead, and a double to right flipped the score, 2-1. Arias struck out. Prieto rung up Sprague, leaving two in scoring position in a game the Raccoons had fallen asleep in a good while ago. Maldonado was nicked for the tying run on base in the bottom 7th, but nothing came of it. Prieto continued in the eighth, faced five batters and retired none, hitting Sibley, allowing a single to Outram, walking a few, and giving up another single to Clemente, and when Miller replaced him, he allowed a sac fly, a single, walked in a run, and then gave up a few more RBI singles for the giggles. The damn, ******* Elks pounded the Raccoons for seven runs, and that game was *over*. Not even One-Eyed Jack’s could burn the memory of that one to the ground. Oliver Anderson hit a pinch-hit RBI single in the bottom 8th, but, y’know, who gave a ****? By the ninth inning, Jon Caskey was pitching. He got three outs against nothing but a single walk. (gleams scornfully at Prieto and Miller, shivering in a corner) 9-2 Canadiens. Greenway 2-3, BB; Kilmer 2-4; Anderson (PH) 1-1, RBI; Maldonado 1-2;

(looks like he has eaten bits of glass)

…

(spits out bits of glass)

Raccoons (31-28) vs. Gold Sox (26-34) – June 10-12, 2039

Long time no see – the last meeting with the Gold Sox was in ’33, when the Raccoons took two of three from them. They were seventh in both runs scored and runs allowed in the FL and not quite as rancid as a few years back, but like the Raccoons they had neither a pen or defense, so things could get interesting.

Projected matchups:
Drew Johnson (3-3, 4.35 ERA) vs. Derrick Forbes (2-4, 3.79 ERA)
Bryce Sparkes (4-5, 3.19 ERA) vs. Joe Dishon (5-3, 2.67 ERA)
Ryan Bedrosian (5-2, 4.35 ERA) vs. John Jackson (4-5, 4.77 ERA)

Another set opening with a lefty, then sending only right-handers after that.

Game 1
DEN: LF de Luna – RF Beard – 1B Cahill – C J. Wilson – CF Benavides – 3B W. Morris – 2B Cothern – P Forbes – SS Hunter
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Williams – CF Maldonado – LF M. Fernandez – C Kilmer – RF Ledford – 1B Monge – 2B Caskey – P Johnson

Ugh, batting the pitcher eighth. (looks annoyed times ten) Kill ‘em, boys! Starting the top 2nd with singles by Jeff Wilson and Juan Benavides, the Gold Sox successfully brought up their damn pitcher with two outs and cashed a K they deserved. The Raccoons had Berto on to begin the first but Williams double-played him away. Monge then reached on Wayne Morris’ error to begin the third inning, and Caskey hit a double to left to put both in scoring position for our own damn pitcher, who made a poor out. Berto brought home Monge on a grounder, 1-0, but that was all. While nothing else was going on, Monge walked to lead off the fifth, and Caskey singled. After a bunt by Johnson, the Raccoons were exactly where they were last time through, except that this time Berto snapped a single to right, and two runs scored before Kyle Beard got a throw off. Berto was then caught stealing before Williams’ 2-out walk and Maldo’s single that put them on the corners. Manny singled through the hole on the right, 4-0, stole second, and Kilmer hit another 2-run single to left-center, chasing Forbes with a sixpack. Brad Ledford made it seven with a double off Tim Baldwin. Monge also doubled, 8-0, Caskey walked against the lefty, and Johnson hit an RBI single, Berto grounded out after that, thus making the second and third outs in the inning in different plays. It was an 8-spot anyway, and one that put the game away. Rich de Luna’s leadoff triple led to a run in the sixth, but the Raccoons countered with three against three different relievers in the bottom of the inning. The final tally would be a Benavides homer off Citriniti in the ninth, but weren’t we used to scoring off Citriniti? 12-2 Critters! Ramos 2-5, 3 RBI; Monge 2-3, BB, 2 2B, 2 RBI; Caskey 3-3, BB, 2B; Johnson 7.0 IP, 3 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 4 K, W (4-3) and 1-3, RBI;

Game 2
DEN: LF de Luna – RF Beard – 1B Cahill – C J. Wilson – CF Benavides – 3B W. Morris – 2B Cothern – P Dishon – SS T. Hunter
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – C Kilmer – 1B Anderson – CF Maldonado – SS Williams – P Sparkes

Maud! – Maud!? – Who let these fancy-schmancy, batting-the-pitcher-eighth people in?? … Anyway, Sparkes walked a pair in the first before Berto started a 5-4-3 nobody had seen coming on Wilson. But it was obvious that Sparkes had nothing after such a good start on Monday, getting raked for three hard hits and two runs on Tony Hunter’s 2-out double in the top of the second. They added three straight singles to start the inning in the third, then a 2-run double by Benavides and a sac fly on top of that. Both pitchers were out after three innings; Sparkes for sucking and Dishon for an injury.

The latter didn’t help the Raccoons any with their own problems, and after a 3-run homer Jeff Wilson hit off a hopeless Travis Sims in the fourth, the game was factually over. Walking reliever Juan Avanzi in the fifth punched a ticket to the swamps for Sims. Brad Ledford hit a bomb in his spot in the bottom 5th, which cut the gap all the way to 8-1. Squee! To make up for that, Citriniti would wave around a runner left on by David Fernandez in the seventh. Elijah Williams singled in a run in the bottom of the inning, keeping it at seven, which was all the success to chalk up for this one. 9-2 Gold Sox. Anderson 1-2, 2 BB; Maldonado 1-2, 2 BB; Hooge (PH) 1-1; Ledford (PH) 1-1, HR, RBI;

(SIGH)

Travis Sims (4.55 ERA) ended up on waivers. The Raccoons promoted Francisco Pena to buy time for figuring out their ramshackle pitching staff.

Game 3
DEN: LF de Luna – RF Beard – 1B Cahill – C J. Wilson – CF Benavides – 3B W. Morris – 2B Cothern – P J. Jackson – SS T. Hunter
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Hooge – C Morales – SS Maldonado – 1B Monge – P Bedrosian

Boys, please don’t lose two of three to a team batting the ******* pitcher eighth!!

Bedrosian allowed one hit through three, shutting out the Sox until Troy Greenway could line a 2-out, 2-run double in the bottom 3rd for Portland to take the lead. Not that Kyle Beard didn’t hit a leadoff double in the fourth… and Bedrosian walked Wilson, Benavides singled in a run, and while Wayne Morris struck out, Travis Cothern struck a 2-out, 2-run double to give the Sox the lead, 3-2. And then Bedrosian walked THE ******** PITCHER BATTING EIGHTH because he was a ******* schmuck. Troy Hunter struck out, like the writing wasn’t already on the wall…

Bedrosian, the schmuck, struck out nine in six innings while trailing until the bottom 6th. The Raccoons had wasted Berto’s leadoff walk the prior inning, and when Hoogey dropped a soft single to lead off this inning, I sighed and expected more shortcomings. Tony Morales walked, and then Maldo zinged a liner up the rightfield line, where Beard curtailed it ahead of the fence, but still for a game-tying RBI double. Danny Monge was walked with intent, but the Raccoons yanked Bedrosian for Brad Ledford 10 out of 10 times in this spot. He hit a grounder to Cothern, really fast, and Morales was thrown out at home plate. Aaaaahh…!! Berto next, comebacker to Jackson, throw home, and – out. AAAAAAHHH!!! (struggles with Maud for the blunderbuss) Maud, let me - …! I have to shoot one of them suckers in the bum!!! … Cosmo’s 2-out, 2-run single in left-center had pacifying effects, putting Portland up 5-3. Prieto then held the fort without any funny accidents, which surprised everybody around, and the Raccoons put a Maldonado jack on Tim Baldwin before Berto also singled home Jon Caskey and his pinch-hit double in the bottom 8th. Chris Miller closed the book on the Sox. 7-3 Coons. Trevino 1-2, 2 BB, 2 RBI; Greenway 2-4, 2B, 2 RBI; Hooge 2-4; Maldonado 2-4, HR, 2B, 2 RBI; Caskey (PH) 1-1, 2B; Prieto 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 2 K;

In other news

June 7 – Atlanta’s SP Danny Orozco (6-4, 3.61 ERA) 3-hits the Aces in a 4-0 shutout. Besides three hits, Orozco also has three walks and three strikeouts in the game.
June 7 – RIC 1B Vinny Lopez (.323, 3 HR, 8 RBI) chips in four hits and 5 RBI in the Rebs’ 15-7 win over the Buffos.
June 9 – Pittsburgh’s 1B Danny Santillano (.349, 16 HR, 56 RBI) lands his 2,500th career base hit in an 8-4 loss to the Cyclones; the career Miner, who won six straight batting titles and was Player of the Year five times, is now 33 years old and hitting .333/.421/.541 for his career with 342 homers and 1,297 runs batted in. The milestone hit is a single off Cincy’s Vinny Olguin (6-2, 4.01 ERA).
June 9 – CHA SP Rafael Pedraza (6-5, 3.49 ERA) 3-hits the Condors, whiffing eight on the way to a 4-0 shutout victory.
June 10 – Dallas 1B Alex Zacarias (.275, 7 HR, 35 RBI) will miss a month with a strained hamstring.
June 11 – Bayhawks SS/3B Marshall Greer (.225, 6 HR, 34 RBI) has a 20-game hitting streak after landing two base knocks in a 3-0 win over the Blue Sox. Greer’s average was .185 when the streak began, and he’s had only 24 hits in the 20 games.
June 12 – MIL SP Sal Chavez (8-3, 3.51 ERA) walks four, but allows no hits against seven strikeouts in a 6-0 win over the Pacifics! The no-hitter, the Loggers’ fourth overall, comes less than a month after the Loggers were no hit themselves by the Aces’ Willie Gallardo.
June 12 – SFB infielder Marshall Greer (.222, 6 HR, 34 RBI) is denied to go 25-in-21 and in fact goes 0-for-3 in a 3-1 loss to the Blue Sox, ending his hitting streak at 20 games.

FL Player of the Week: SAL SS/2B/RF Jose Castro (.250, 8 HR, 39 RBI) hitting .481 (13-27) with 3 HR, 8 RBI
CL Player of the Week: MIL CF/RF Tony Coca (.344, 6 HR, 20 RBI), batting .450 (9-20) with 3 HR, 5 RBI

Complaints and stuff

Despite a winning week (makes unsure hand motion), 4-3 in the end, things could have been better. Also, the Loggers lit the afterburners – they have won nine in a row, including two against us last weekend. So we slid down to fourth place again, but at least not further away from the damn Elks.

Shoutout to Tony Coca, who is a week away from turning 39 and looked like roadkill just one season ago. He was an afterthought on the Crusaders last year, batting .234 with 4 homers and all of 10 RBI. This year he’s packed on 110 points.

Sims was axed this week, and Citriniti is surely on the list. The thing is that we have no hope in AAA either. We can’t even bring up Ottie (remember Ottie?) for some mop-up work, since his ERA in St. Pete is already over five. There is a few 24-, 25-year-olds with high walk numbers that we could cycle through for no gains. So, like Pena.

I don’t know what’s special about Oliver Anderson’s diet, but it seems to work. He likes to eat some green stuff with his schnitzels, I think it’s called salad or something. Looks like weeds, to be honest. The other players are dissing him for it.

We’ll travel east next week, with three games each in Cincy and New York. The Raccoons would be back home the Monday after.

As a side note for Pacific Northwest news, the Wolves and damn Elks played in Elk City on the weekend. Salem took two from them, including a 13-1 trouncing on Saturday that made me happy in my tummy.

Fun Fact: The Loggers are the third team to be no-hit and then pitch the next no-hitter themselves.

The Rebels were at the end of WAS Eric Williams’ perfect game in 2024, then had Todd Wood no-hit the Gold Sox in July of 2025.

The Pacifics did it all in the same season, 2036, getting no-hit by Salem’s Eric Peck before no-hitting the Miners with Dave Christiansen on the mound.

[Westheim]

Raccoons (33-29) @ Cyclones (27-34) – June 13-15, 2039

The Raccoons started a road week against terrible teams in Cincinnati, where the Cyclones were in the bottom three in runs scored in the Federal League, and their pitching was barely adequate. They were crummy in most categories, except home runs – they led the FL in that with 61 bombs in as many games, and yes, Bernie would pitch in this series…… The last meeting between these teams was in 2037, when the Critters swept the set.

Projected matchups:
Raffaello Sabre (6-1, 2.78 ERA) vs. Ben Lipsky (3-4, 4.07 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (3-5, 4.21 ERA) vs. Vinny Olguin (6-2, 4.01 ERA)
Drew Johnson (4-3, 3.91 ERA) vs. Peter Gill (1-2, 4.68 ERA)

Right, right, left – I would not see much of “Graveyard” Gill against that weird right-hander we didn’t really want but somehow got anyway… Wednesday was also draft day, and I had to fly ahead to New York, where the team would play on the weekend.

Game 1
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – 1B Anderson – SS Williams – C Morales – CF Maldonado – P Sabre
CIN: SS B. Cruz – LF Gibbs – 1B J. King – CF Lockwood – RF Ju. Brito – 3B Rozenboom – 2B Freeman – C Graham – P Lipsky

The Raccoons managed six hits in the first four innings and no runs. Greenway twice left a batter on, and Oliver Anderson raised his average to .400 with two hits in two attempts, but always ended up stranded at third base with another guy aboard – Morales in the second, Maldo in the fourth – because Sabre was not a great batter, even for a pitcher. The Cyclones had three hits off Sabre in the first three innings, then three more to start the bottom 4th. Nick Rozenboom hit into a double play, but Jamie King scored on the play, and Jayden Lockwood came around on a single by Ben “Nine Fingers” Freeman with two outs. Manny Fernandez hit into a double play in the fifth, Elijah Williams grounded into a double play in the sixth, and how exactly they scored a run at all in between all the gross failure we’ll never now. Oh yeah, Morales singled home Greenway with two down in the sixth. And then Maldonado flew out to Juan Brito.

Sabre lasted only six innings, then was hit for to no great effect with Ed Hooge to begin the seventh. Berto and Cosmo reached base, though, and Manny’s fly to left was not reached by Ken Gibbs and fell for a game-tying double instead. The Cyclones walked Troy Greenway, who they had heard of, and yanked Lipsky to bring in lefty Chris Myers against Oliver Anderson, who they apparently had not heard of, but who was batting .408 now (in limited appearances of course). He also grounded out to Jamie King, so what the **** do we know, but that brought home the go-ahead run. Elijah Williams then split Lockwood and Gibbs for a 2-run double, with Morales out on the warning track in left to end the inning. And now we only needed nine outs before blowing a 5-2 lead with our infamous ramshackle bullpen. David Fernandez was brought in against an array of left-handed bats, walked a guy, allowed a hard single, and somehow avoided getting taken deep. He also faced Brito to begin the bottom 8th, but gave up a single on 1-2. Pena came in for his season debut, getting a double play from PH Rey Cedillo before Freeman lined into his mitten. Top 9th, Manny single, Anderson double, Williams single – tack-on run! Jermaine Campbell got the ninth even with a 4-run lead because we were short on options. He saw the Cyclones off in three batters. 6-2 Coons. Trevino 2-5; M. Fernandez 3-5, 2B, RBI; Anderson 4-5, RBI; Williams 2-5, 2B, 3 RBI; Morales 2-4, 2B, RBI;

Seventh win for Sabre, in posthumous fashion, seeing him in sole possession of the team lead.

To my great dismay, Tuesday brought persistent rain and a postponement. The game was rescheduled for a Wednesday double-header. Since the Cyclones had to get out of town even more urgently than the Critters, the first game started before lunchtime, which allowed me to still hang around for a while.

Game 2
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – 1B Anderson – SS Williams – C Morales – CF Maldonado – P Chavez
CIN: SS B. Cruz – LF Gibbs – 1B J. King – CF Lockwood – 3B Rozenboom – 2B Freeman – RF Duncan – C Graham – P Olguin

Jamie King showed Bernie Chavez the area behind the fence, and back-to-back doubles by Nick Rozenboom and Ben Freeman made it 2-0 in the second. Worse yet, Olguin singled home Freeman with two outs in the inning, 3-0. Top 3rd, a string of 1-out singles loaded the bags with Critters for Oliver Anderson, who popped out, and Williams was out on a flare to Lockwood in shallow center. And somehow that was ALL of the game…!? Bernie Chavez pulled himself together after the early waffling, going eight innings in a losing effort, while the Raccoons did not get a base hit after Greenway loaded them up with a single in that third inning. Olguin was still cruising in the ninth with his 3-0 lead and a 5-hit shutout. Anderson grounded out. Ledford flew out. Morales grounded out. 3-0 Cyclones. Trevino 2-4;

How to lose a baseball game, in two hours and a friggin’ six minutes.

Well… (checks wristwatch) … I guess I’ll go to the airport now! … At a leisurely pace…

Game 3
POR: 1B Monge – 2B Trevino – CF Maldonado – RF Greenway – C Kilmer – LF Hooge – SS Williams – 3B Caskey – P Johnson
CIN: SS B. Cruz – LF Gibbs – 1B J. King – CF Lockwood – RF Ju. Brito – 3B Rozenboom – 2B Freeman – C Cedillo – P Gill

At the airport I found out about a mix-up. I hadn’t been booked business class to New York, but economy. I protested bitterly, but there was no undoing it – business class was full, and there wasn’t another flight that would take me to New York in time. I had to fly on a wooden chair with ample leg room only if your legs were amputated well above the knees. For a while I had hope that the Raccoons would win the series, and that the chair next to be would remain empty, but at the last second some pedestrian family boarded and their snot-nosed teenage kid was put next to me. He immediately assumed the armrest, despite my ferocious hisses – probably couldn’t hear me for wearing his enormous headphones – *and* Juan Brito tagged Drew Johnson for a 2-run homer in the bottom 2nd. At least I could see *that* on the tiny six-inch screen built into the headrest of the seat in front of me. Six inches were plenty – given that the screen wasn’t further than six inches from my face, either. – Uh, Steward! Steward! – I’d take a big, had one, with an olive. But don’t bother with ice, it only dilu- … - What do you mean, this is a family-friendly flight and you only serve booze in business class?? – (eyelid twitches)

While the Raccoons continued to give it their best effort to be shut out twice in one day, Johnson was shackled for another two runs on a walk and three hits in the bottom 5th, falling 4-0 behind to my audible dismay. Also reason for dismay – that dismal kid hogging the armrest! For most of the top 6th we pushed our elbows into each other’s rib cage, which was so mature. Then the outrageous kid made fun of me for watching baseball when I had this and that entertainment at my disposal on the airline’s video-on-demand service. – But it’s *baseball*! – What do you mean, “lame game”?? It’s the national pastime! – No, I have never heard of Bazooka Rocket Hockey. – Young man, this does not make me a loser! Do you even know who I am!? I am the general manager of the Portland Raccoons!! …… For reasons unknown, half the plane burst into laughter at that point, while Snotnose poignantly asked whether that was the same Portland Raccoons that were losing four-nothing. I had to give him a point for that. Raccoons zip. Annoying people – five.

The actual score was 6-0 by the seventh, with a Williams error giving an unearned run each to Pena and Garavito amidst more misery for the team. The vicious teen punk smirkingly asked whether the Crapcoons were winning yet, and while I tried to bite my lip, I ultimately had to call him to order. – Hey, listen up, Spongebrains Baggypants! Baseball’s a very complicated business well beyond your cerebral capacity! So why don’t you go back to watching your … your MTV or something! …… This time, the entire plane burst into roaring laughter, but I wasn’t quite sure why. Probably my clever inference that he was stupid. Right at this point, with Manny Fernandez batting ninth with two outs and nobody on in the eighth, and no hope whatsoever, a rather broad-shaped lady moved up the aisle and asked Snotnose next to me, whose name was apparently Tyler, whether he had eaten his carrots yet, which he had sliced specifically for the flight, and while I giggled turned to me and bellowed whether I had called her Tyler stupid. – Well, that is a very simple representation of the situation, lady! – I would not put it that simply. – Well, this is an airplane, how do you want to take this “outside”? …. Precisely here, Manny grounded out to second, and the captain announced that we’d start our approach to Tweed Airport in five minutes. She only raised her eyebrows. Tyler asked me, grinning repulsively, whether I even knew who his mother was. – Why, does she have a higher status than the Raccoons’ GM?

After Rey Cedillo tore a bus-sized hole into Antonio Prieto with another 2-run homer in the eighth, Gill retired the Raccoons in order in the ninth, beating Olguin’s performance with a 4-hitter. 8-0 Cyclones.

It wasn’t *all* bad! Luckily, the airport had excellent first aid facilities, where I got help for my bloody nose after the 3-time defending heavyweight champ in mud wrestling had polished my snout the second we passed through the gate.

Raccoons (34-31) @ Crusaders (25-41) – June 17-19, 2039

There was little to love about either team at the moment. While the Crusaders were second from the bottom in runs scored, the Raccoons hadn’t scored since Monday, so there was that. The Crusaders were also second from the bottom in runs allowed, but I was sure we’d somehow make the 2-2 tie in the season series worse.

Projected matchups:
Bryce Sparkes (4-6, 3.62 ERA) vs. Dave Hils (2-9, 4.38 ERA)
Ryan Bedrosian (6-2, 4.37 ERA) vs. Casey Pinter (3-4, 5.63 ERA)
Raffaello Sabre (7-1, 2.80 ERA) vs. Gabriel Lara (1-7, 4.82 ERA)

That was a miserable collection of starters, two right-handed with a southpaw in the middle.

Now bring in the clowns.

Game 1
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – 1B Anderson – SS Williams – C Morales – CF Maldonado – P Sparkes
NYC: LF J. Garcia – 3B Sifuentes – CF Besaw – C D. Phillips – RF Salek – 2B Russell – 1B Rudd – SS J. Adams – P Hils

Tony Morales ended 19 innings of futility with a solo homer in the second, putting Portland up 1-0 against Hils, who proceeded to nail Maldonado, leading to a bench-clearing brawl, after which Hils was ejected for throwing at Maldonado, and Maldonado was ejected for biting into Hils’ thigh. Ed Hooge took over in centerfield, while the Crusaders sent righty Manny Vasquez to pitch; he had a 5.84 ERA, but would not give up more than a Manny Fernandez single in four innings of work. Sparkes meanwhile allowed a single to Jim Adams in the third inning and nothing else through five, ringing up four Crusaders, but the New Yorkers had hit deep drives with Rich Salek and Chris Russell in the fifth and were seemingly getting to him now. Adams and Juan Garcia hit singles in the bottom 6th, and a well-placed grounder by Ramon Sifuentes tied the game. Oliver Anderson opened the seventh with a single off Todd Lush, but was doubled up by Williams, while Sparkes allowed a single to Salek, then an RBI double to Tom Rudd with two outs in the seventh. Why, oh why… Top 8th, Hooge led off with a single. New reliever, righty Aaron Hickey, and PH Jon Caskey popped out. Berto grounded to Steve Sierra at second base, reaching on Sierra’s error, which at least gave us a runner in scoring position…? Cosmo slapped a grounder through the middle to tie the game with a single in any case, but both Manny and Greenway flew out to left. Anderson had another leadoff single off former Raccoon John Hennessy in the ninth, but was doubled up again, this time by Jeff Kilmer… The game went to extras with kind non-explosive support from Prieto and David Fernandez, and in the 10th Ramos reached on a 2-out single, Trevino on an error, and Manny… grounded out. Bottom 10th, Chris Miller faced Hennessy to lead off and ******* hit him, then threw a wild pitch. I couldn’t even rage, it was just too surreal to be believable. Juan Garcia singled, moving the winning run to third base before Sifuentes popped out. Joe Besaw ended the game with a single past Ramos, though. 3-2 Crusaders. Ramos 2-5; Anderson 2-5;

(crickets)

Game 2
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – CF Hooge – RF Greenway – LF Ledford – SS Williams – C Morales – 1B Monge – P Bedrosian
NYC: LF J. Garcia – 3B Sifuentes – CF Besaw – C D. Phillips – RF Salek – 2B Russell – 1B Rudd – SS J. Adams – P Lara

With Maldonado suspended for the rest of the weekend, Ed Hooge played center and singled home Cosmo after his 1-out double in the first. Greenway also doubled, making it 2-0 against the right-hander Lara, with Pinter having been skipped. More offense arrived in the third inning, with Cosmo and Hooge reaching again before Brad Ledford socked a 2-out, 3-piece. That was 5-0, and probably another bad dream or something. Maybe the teams had switched uniforms, what the **** do I know…

Bedrosian did not allow a hit the first time through, walking Adams instead. But Sifuentes, Besaw, and Salek all hit hard flies the second time through the order, all of them being caught, before Chris Russell clipped a soft 1-out single, dispelling all no-hitter fever dreams before it really became a thing, 13 outs in. He was also striking out nobody, and with nobody I mean *nobody*. Through six, not a single strikeout, but still a 1-hitter. Wicked, but I’d take a W any way I could; I’d give Cristiano Carmona’s right arm for a W.

By the seventh, Aaron Hickey threw high and in to Ed Hooge, who squeaked, hit the deck, and somehow managed to land with his back on the knob of his back, injuring himself in the process. He was removed in visible discomfort, with Manny Fernandez taking over in center. Besaw struck out in the bottom 7th, and Adams in the bottom 8th, giving Bedrosian at least *something*. The Crusaders in between also got two singles and hit into two double plays. Bedrosian would return for the ninth, still up 5-0 after the crew had stopped plucking away at the Crusaders’ staff as soon as they were out of slam range. Christian Abel took away the shutout with a pinch-hit homer, for which I would forever hate him, but Bedrosian still finished the game. 5-1 Coons. Trevino 2-5, 2B; Hooge 2-3, RBI; Bedrosian 9.0 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 2 K, W (7-2) and 1-4, 2B;

Getting a bit skinny with the outfielders now! Hoogey was day-to-day for at least the middle of next week, and Maldonado was still on the naughty list for Sunday (with the Critters up against 2-6 righty Jamal Barrow and his 3.55 ERA) since Hoogey was *technically* available and it was only one game.

Dun-dun-duuuuuh….

Game 3
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – CF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – 1B Anderson – C Kilmer – LF Ledford – SS Williams – P Sabre
NYC: LF J. Garcia – 3B Sifuentes – CF Besaw – C D. Phillips – RF Salek – 2B Russell – 1B Rudd – SS J. Adams – P Barrow

Berto walked, stole second, moved up on a balk, and scored on Cosmo’s sac fly in the first for a quickie run, while the Crusaders slowly loaded the bases with two singles and a walk against Sabre in the bottom of the inning, only to have Chris Russell pop out foul to strand all of them. The Raccoons kibbled away, because kibble also fattened up over time, with Elijah Williams singling home Kilmer in the second to make it 2-0. It got better in the third yet; Kilmer was back up with Greenway and Anderson on the corners and two outs, flew to deep center, and beat Besaw for a 2-run double. Brad Ledford beat everything and everybody with another homer over the fence in right, which ran the tally to 6-0. The Crusaders kept poking singles off Sabre, with Besaw singling home Sifuentes in the bottom 3rd, and they had two more singles in the fourth, but then hit into a 4-6-3 to kill the effort. Sifuentes doubled in a run with one out in the bottom 5th, but that run would be unearned thanks to a Williams error to begin the inning. Garcia was also on base, two were in scoring position with one gone, and Sabre’s game was about to go pear-shaped until he received some counseling from the pitching coach who told him to stop messing around. The ploy worked – he struck out both Besaw and Phillips to end the inning and keep it 6-2. That was his swan song, though. Salek opened the sixth with a double, and with two outs Adam singled in a run, Ryan Carr pinch-hit and doubled in a run, and Sabre was finally yanked with the tying run at the plate. Pena got a groundout from Garcia, bailing out of that spot…

After a set of middle innings filled with skidding, the Raccoons loaded the bags in the eighth against Julian Ponce with a a Williams double, an intentional walk to Danny Monge, and a Berto single – and nobody out. A few tack-on runs would probably be great! Cosmo obliged, dropped an RBI single in front of Salek, and it was 7-4. Manny popped out before a run scored on a passed ball, which led to an intentional walk to Greenway. Caskey batted for Anderson against the left-handed Ponce, but struck out, and Kilmer flew out to leftfield. Garavito had a scoreless eighth then, and Citriniti came into the ninth, but gave up a double to Garcia and an RBI single to Sifuentes. Campbell replaced him with one gone, gave up a single to Besaw, I got dizzy, Phillips popped out, and Salek shot a ball up the middle for an RBI single. For …! Russell grounded out to Williams. 8-6 Raccoons. Ramos 2-4, BB; Trevino 2-4, 2 RBI; Anderson 2-4; Ledford 2-5, HR, 2 RBI; Williams 3-5, 2B, RBI;

In other news

June 14 – The Thunder beat the Stars, 10-7 in 16 innings. Going back to erasing a 7-1 deficit after the seventh inning, the Thunder score nine unanswered runs across nine innings in their comeback.
June 16 – The Blue Sox will be without 3B/2B Jim “Mastodon” Allen (.331, 8 HR, 46 RBI) until the All Star break. The veteran is on the DL with shoulder soreness.
June 17 – Thunder SP Trevor Corrigan (2-6, 5.38 ERA) goes down to a torn rotator cuff and will miss the rest of the season.
June 18 – ATL C Adam Horner (.249, 10 HR, 39 RBI) might miss the rest of the season with a concussion.
June 18 – Richmond’s 1B Dan Sarro (.328, 4 HR, 31 RBI) drives in five runs in a 12-4 rush of the Cyclones.
June 18 – The Warriors’ INF/LF Alex Villegas (.236, 9 HR, 26 RBI) hits a homer for a 1-0 Warriors win over the Pacifics in a game that sees only five hits total.

FL Player of the Week: CIN 1B Jamie King (.265, 16 HR, 44 RBI), hitting .480 (12-25) with 1 HR, 3 RBI
CL Player of the Week: TIJ INF Chris Strohm (.298, 7 HR, 23 RBI), hitting .545 (12-22) with 2 HR, 6 RBI

Complaints and stuff

Next week, Indians and Thunder. Given that we couldn’t pull off more than a 3-3 against two shoddy teams this week, I am not getting my hopes up anymore. We need… *a lot*. And we don’t have the prospects to pay for it.

That is pretty much the main issue now. The team doesn’t have enough pitching, and the offense is on-off, mostly off recently.

I don’t know what else to say. Sometimes it’s maybe best to say nothing so you don’t get another one on the snout…

Fun Fact: Outfielder Cal Lyon is, in terms of WAR, the worst Raccoons position player ever, putting up -2.0 WAR in various cups of coffee.

That was between 2000 and 2003, squat in the middle of the Decade of Darkness. He got into 99 games, made 230 plate appearances, and hit a grand total of .156/.183/.211 with 2 homers (!) and 13 RBI. He drew six walks and struck out 53 times.

He was a third-round pick, #102, in the 1994 draft then failed through our system for over ten years before being released in 2004. No other team ever took a poke at him.