Portland Raccoons (ABL)

[Westheim]

Raccoons (83-52) @ Canadiens (82-52) – September 6-9, 2038

This series was not good on so many levels. It wasn’t the right time for it, it wasn’t the right place for it, and besides, playing the damn Elks was never a good idea in the first place. Even if the Raccoons were up 7-4 in the season series, you’d better bet on those filthy hoof bearers to have some vile-smelling trick up their antlers. Or… they’d just gore you with antlers. They were leading the CL in runs scored, which surely was going to mend well with our wobbly rotation, and as the newest development they had also allowed the fewest runs, making them a hot poker iron that was surely going to wind up in somebody’s eye… Their run differential was +158, while the Raccoons were stuck at +98.

Projected matchups:
Steve Fidler (8-4, 3.00 ERA) vs. Matt Sealock (17-6, 3.29 ERA)
Jared Ottinger (7-6, 5.05 ERA) vs. Raymond Pearce (9-3, 3.85 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (9-10, 4.12 ERA) vs. David Arias (12-5, 3.15 ERA)
Raffaello Sabre (8-10, 3.69 ERA) vs. Alexander Lewis (7-10, 3.95 ERA)

Three right-handed opponents, and then, if we even dared and/or bothered to show up by Thursday, a southpaw at the end.

(looks to his left on his old, tear-soaked couch at home, finding Nick Valdes sitting there with a bowl of popcorn and a soda) How the **** did YOU get in??

Game 1
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Maldonado – CF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – LF Ledford – C Morales – 2B Vickers – 1B Stedham – P Fidler
VAN: 2B Sprague – 1B J. Lopez – CF Outram – RF R. Phillips – C Clemente – LF LeJeune – SS Sibley – 3B Schneider – P Sealock

While I was embroiled in a custody battle for Honeypaws with Nick Valdes, Maldonado became the first Raccoon with a base hit, a first-inning single, in the game and would remain the only one for a long time. Manny Fernandez also hit into a double play immediately. At least Steve Fidler didn’t explode at first sight, which was already a plus. The main threat in that dismal Elks lineup was Jerry Outram, who had slipped to a .369 clip at this point and was no longer a threat to hit .400 – what a relief!

The game remained scoreless through five, with neither side managing more than two base hits. Tony Morales singled in the fifth. Rich Vickers reliably hit into a double play. Bizarrely it would be Fidler to make the first advance into scoring position for Portland in the sixth inning, hitting a double to right with one out. Berto flew out easily, but Maldonado singled him to third base. There he remained when Fernandez grounded out. Fidler then loaded the bases in the bottom of the inning, granting a single to center to Johnny Lopez and walks to Outram and Timóteo Clemente. With two outs, persistent coonslayer Jesse LeJeune was up and the Raccoons pulled the plug on Fidler. Yeom Soung got a grounder to Vickers to end the inning, then got in line for the W in the top 7th, which Troy Greenway led off with a double to right before Brad Ledford smacked a longball for a 2-0 lead. For a brief moment, Valdes and me stopped playing tug-of-war with Honeypaws, one pulling on the snout and the other at the tail. Vickers, Stedham, and Berto would also find their way on base in the inning, all being stranded when LeJeune chased down a Maldonado fly in the left-center gap.

And then it all came apart. Soung and Pena held up in the seventh, but the eighth saw David Fernandez blow the lead with a walk to Outram and a Ryan Phillips homer. He then also walked Clemente before being excused from further playtime. Ben Feist came in, PH Derek James singled, PH Jacob Kolbe walked, and with two outs and a full count to PH Ramon Cabral, Feist threw a ball in the dirt to give the damn Elks the lead, 3-2. Glenn Sprague singled home two before Feist was taken out to be shot behind the nearest barn. Prieto got a grounder from Lopez to end the inning, but the game was in the bin, just like the entire ******* season. For extra bitterness, Jeff Kilmer hit a pinch-hit 2-run homer off Tim Zimmerman in the ninth. But the Raccoons had to make up three and those two were all they got. 5-4 Canadiens. Maldonado 2-4; Kilmer (PH) 1-1, HR, 2 RBI;

The situation was far from ideal, but thankfully Maud drove by before the Tuesday game and delivered Fairydust, Valdes’ own stuffed toy raccoon that had been sitting in some place in the ballpark since the last time we each needed a stuffed toy for comfort. We invited Maud to stay for the game with us and the truckload of Chinese food we had ordered, but she made something up about a hairdresser appointment she couldn’t miss. I sniffed a lie, but then again – more spring rolls for me!

(hisses at Valdes reaching for a spring roll)

Game 2
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Maldonado – LF Ledford – RF Greenway – C Morales – CF Hooge – 2B Caskey – 1B Stedham – P Ottinger
VAN: 2B Sprague – 1B J. Lopez – CF Outram – RF R. Phillips – C Clemente – SS Cabral – LF Sibley – 3B Ashley – P Pearce

Single, walk, single, single – Ottinger didn’t retire any of the first four Elks, all of which came around to score in the first inning, putting that game into the L column. Phillips drove in Sprague with the single, Cabral hit a 2-run double, and Ross Sibley chipped in a sac fly. So that game was in the bin. Ottinger perversely singled home Jon Caskey with two outs in the second inning after Pearce had walked a pair, but all that Tonerian offense was useless if he kept pitching like Bob Joly. The damn Elks grabbed their run back in the bottom of the inning anyway, with Ottinger walking Lopez, who made for third base on Outram’s single, then scored when Ed Hooge threw the ball away. Greenway ripped a solo homer to right in the top 3rd, but at that point even eating was no fun anymore. Clemente homered off Ottinger in the bottom 3rd, and the useless tosser also put Sibley on base before facing Pearce with two outs. He gave up an RBI double in the gap, 7-2, then was yanked. Cheeks stuffed, Valdes pointed at the TV as Ottinger slumped off towards an early shower and made some noises, but I thought I understood him well enough – being grinded to bone dust between two millstones was still too good a fate for Ottinger…

There was still one or two guys not lying down. After Francisco Pena survived loading the bases in the bottom 4th, the Raccoons got Berto on with one down in the top 5th. Berto stole second, then scored on a Ledford single. Greenway ripped another jack, shortening the gap to 7-5, close enough to have manic illusions of a comeback again. And while the Raccoons got runners on, they didn’t them in. Berto and Greenway were on in the seventh and stranded. Jon Caskey walked in the eighth, which led nowhere. When Maldonado hit a 1-out homer off left-hander Juan Melendrez in the ninth, the team was still a run shy. Dave Myers hit for Ledford and struck out. Greenway walked, keeping the game going at least. Kilmer batted for Morales, who was 0-for-4. He grounded out to short. 7-6 Canadiens. Ramos 3-5; Greenway 2-3, 2 BB, 2 HR, 3 RBI; Garavito 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 3 K;

Troy Greenway’s pair of bombs tied him for third place on the Critters’ single-season leaderboard. And yet all I wanted was to roll into a ball with Honeypaws locked into a cage of my four limbs and cry myself to sleep.

But YOU try going to sleep with Nick Valdes rolled up around your hindpaws and babbling through the entire night about all the things wrong with the team …!

Maud gave me the pep talk on the phone on Wednesday before the game, there was still time to secure a split and so on and so on. I bought none of it; and she also still refused to come over to lessen the Valdes-sized burden on me. So I resorted to calling Matt Nunley, who immediately volunteered to also supply food on his newest BBQ grill station, the supersized “Monolith”. He also brought over half an oxen (dead, fortunately!) before we found out there was no way to get either oxen or Monolith into the fourth floor. So he grilled the damn thing on the street. Neighbors called the cops, but Nunley bought them off with oxen sandwiches.

Game 3
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Maldonado – CF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – LF Ledford – C Morales – 2B Vickers – 1B Stedham – P Chavez
VAN: LF A. Perez – 1B J. Lopez – CF Outram – RF R. Phillips – C Clemente – SS Cabral – 2B Sprague – 3B Ashley – P D. Arias

The Raccoons turned the spit around in the first inning, getting Berto on with a soft single before both Maldonado and Greenway ripped RBI doubles. Brad Ledford did them one better, bashing a homer to right-center, 4-0. At that point, all I wanted was seven innings of 1-run ball from Bernie, y’know, modest wishes. Outram rammed out his 27th bomb of the year right in the bottom 1st, but it was a solo job, which meant Bernie would pitch six scoreless after that, for sure. Before those bubbles could be burst, the Raccoons had a bases-loaded situation in the top 2nd with Stedham and Berto drawing walks before Maldonado got plunked. Manny struck out, but with two gone Troy Greenway continued his very best efforts to drag the damn team into the playoffs all by himself, singling up the middle for two runs. Ledford added an RBI single, 7-1, before Morales struck out.

And that wasn’t enough. Chavez walked Cabral on four pitches to begin the bottom 2nd, then gave up a single to Sprague. Ray Ashley hit a 3-run homer, which meant the damn Elks scored three runs on eight pitches. PH Jacob Kolbe singled. Alex Perez grounded out, after which Lopez and Outram hit back-to-back RBI doubles. That was the end for Chavez – 6 runs on 1.1 innings with a seventh pending – and David Fernandez went on to walk the ******* bags full before Sprague flew out to Manny Fernandez to end the inning. It was a 7-6 game through two innings, and Nunley hadn’t brought nearly enough oxen to stuff the whole in my soul.

Needing somebody to pitch a few innings, the Raccoons turned to Gene Tennis for long relief, when the ballboy would have been a better choice, and that guy was actually Canadian. Tennis blew the lead on Ashley’s leadoff jack, allowed a double to reliever Nick Lutz (what the …), and that runner scored on an Outram single, of course. Tennis pitched only two innings and escaped the loss when Myers batted for him with two outs in the fifth, found Morales and Stedham on the corners, and slapped an 0-2 pitch up the middle to tie the game against lefty Jordan Calderon. Berto popped out to right to end the inning, and the Critters abused Dennis Citriniti for another two innings on his tethered right arm just to keep the line moving – when I looked out the window after six innings, a whole street fest had developed around Nunley and the half oxen, and I didn’t know how, but somehow Nunley had even managed to make Bob Snitker from across the street eat an oxen sandwich – and Snitker was our quarter’s most fervent vegan street preacher!

Top 7th, Morales and Vickers opened with singles against Natanael Abrao. Stedham grounded out, sending them into scoring position, but when Ed Hooge pinch-hit for Citriniti, he struck out. All eyes on Berto, who fell to 1-2, then flicked a ball into left-center for a hit. Morales in, Vickers in, 10-8! Maldonado struck out. Next thing you know, Antonio Prieto is on the mound and surrounded by Elks with one out, but gets a 6-4-3 double play from Clemente to escape the damn mess…! Should we ACTUALLY win a game!? Nah. Me and my hysteria. Bottom 8th, Feist pitching. Cabral singled. Sprague singled. Ashley hit a comebacker, but Feist threw it away for two bases, putting the tying and go-ahead runs in scoring position in a 10-9 game, and with nobody out. Eric Morrow hit in the #9 hole and struck out. Perez struck out. Vickers handled Lopez’ grounder to end the inning. I could barely breathe, but wasn’t sure whether it was the game or too much oxen, and the same was true for Valdes, who was snapping for air and the parts of his face normally white were very much red.

Top 9th, 1-out singles for Vickers and Stedham against Tim Zimmerman. Chiyosaku Maruyama hit for Feist, but grounded out. Berto flew out to Pat Pohl in right. That left Jermaine Campbell with no cushion against the mean part of the lineup in the bottom 9th, but after Outram flew out to Manny in deep, deep center, Pohl and Clemente struck out. 10-9 Critters…! Ramos 3-5, BB, 2 RBI; Maldonado 2-4, 2B, RBI; Greenway 2-5, 2B, 3 RBI; Ledford 3-5, HR, 3 RBI; Vickers 2-5; Stedham 2-4, BB; Myers (PH) 1-1, RBI; Citriniti 2.0 IP, 3 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 3 K, W (6-1);

Thursday was tough. My paws didn’t reach the ground anymore – too much oxen in the tum.

(breathes heavily)

Maybe another nap or two.

The Raccoons flew in Chris Womble, a right-hander with a mixed record and 9.00 ERA in the majors so far, because any arm could do as well as what we already had…

Game 4
POR: CF Maldonado – 2B Vickers – C Kilmer – RF Greenway – 1B Maruyama – LF Castro – SS Williams – 3B Myers – P Sabre
VAN: LF A. Perez – 1B J. Lopez – CF Outram – RF R. Phillips – C Clemente – SS Cabral – 2B Sprague – 3B Schneider – P A. Lewis

Alberto Ramos needed a day off and the left-hander presented a welcome opening. Alex Castro would get his first major league lineup assignment after only pinch-hitting once so far (without success). A leadoff jack by Maldonado was sure something the Raccoons didn’t get to see with Ramos in the #1 hole (he had not homered since ’34), and while Sabre scattered a few hits, he maintained the lead the first time through, but just when we started to get comfy with him (not with our circumference, though), Ryan Phillips tied the game with a bomb in the fourth.

The real problem came in the fifth inning, when Sabre nailed not only Johnny Lopez with one out… but also Lewis to start the game. This gross stupidity was punished by Phillips’ 2-out, 2-run double up the rightfield line, and I wanted to bicker about it, but even being mad was too exhausting. The Raccoons couldn’t mount any offense against Lewis, sprinkling five hits in highly inefficient manner through seven innings, not including the Maldonado homer. Lewis kept going in the eighth, entering on 90 pitches. Myers grounded out. Stedham singled to right after already having entered the game in a double switch. Maldonado singled to center, presenting Rich Vickers with the tying runs. Vickers rolled into a 5-4-3 double play. I moaned. Valdes moaned. Nobody quite knew whether it was the ****** dissolution of the inning or still too much oxen. Top 9th, down by two, Zimmerman. Berto hit for Kilmer and grounded out. Greenway grounded out. Manny Fernandez hit for the pitcher… and singled. Brad Ledford hit for Castro… and grounded out to Lopez. 3-1 Canadiens. Maldonado 2-4, HR, RBI; M. Fernandez (PH) 1-1; Stedham 1-1;

Raccoons (84-55) vs. Indians (65-75) – September 10-12, 2038

If there was such a thing as an easy opponent for the Raccoons, I’d say here was an easy opponent, with the Indians second from the bottom in runs allowed in the CL. Our offense could turn them into minced meat, in theory. But every lineup no matter how mediocre (and the Indians’ was quite mediocre) could turn any Raccoons starter inside-out in no time. There were no easy opponents, because our staff was a complete mess at this point. We were up 10-5 in the season series.

The last hope was Cosmo Trevino. He was activated on Friday, and that was unfortunately already four days too late.

Projected matchups:
Bryce Sparkes (17-6, 3.17 ERA) vs. Joe Dishon (2-15, 5.49 ERA)
Steve Fidler (8-4, 2.84 ERA) vs. Jake Jackson (4-1, 2.36 ERA)
Jared Ottinger (7-7, 5.36 ERA) vs. Joe Robinson (13-9, 2.61 ERA)

Well, alright-alright-alright-alright! Nobody wants to see more of Jared Ottinger! Not me, not you… okay, yes, Maud, the stupid brats in the cheap seats want. I would prefer him working on his dull arsenal rather than his Gobble career, though! But the alternatives were Bernie on three days’ rest (ostensibly not an issue after getting blown up on a mere 34 pitches on Wednesday) and Gene Tennis (barf). Like I said – it was ALL a mess.

The Indians would sent two right-handers and a left-hander.

(falls face-down into the couch cushions) No, thanks, Maud, I don’t want apple pie. If I eat another thing in this life, I’m gonna burst open.

Game 1
IND: C E. Thompson – RF M. Ochoa – 3B Hutson – 1B Levis – CF Baron – 2B McKenzie – LF Garbinski – SS D. Serrato – P Dishon
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF Ledford – RF Greenway – CF Hooge – C Morales – SS Myers – 1B Stedham – P Sparkes

Trevino’s comeback lasted all of two innings and a bit, at which point he hurt himself on a defensive play and was out of the game again. Since I was having my face buried in the cushions, at least I didn’t have to see it. The Raccoons were down 1-0 thanks to Elliott Thompson’s leadoff double at the top of the game; Dan Hutson had driven him in.

The Coons got Greenway and Hooge to draw walks with one out in the bottom 4th. Tony Morales hit a gapper in left-center for a game-tying double. Dave Myers’ sac fly gave them the lead, but the Indians bowed out on an intentional walk to Stedham and a casual groundout from Bryce Sparkes, batting all of .033 on the year. He then added insult to injury, hitting Josh Garbinski to begin the fifth inning. Dave Serrato hit into a fielder’s choice, then was safe on Sparkes’ throw to second base on Dishon’s bunt. Thompson singled, loading the sacks. Mario Ochoa struck out, while Hutson slapped a 2-out grounder up the middle, with Myers making a lunging grab for the ball and flicking it to Vickers just in time to force out Thompson and end the inning. The Arrowheads tied the game at the next chance, which didn’t take long to materialize thanks to Doug Levis’ leadoff double in the sixth. He’d score on Garbinski’s sac fly, and everybody was even at two in the middle of the sixth.

A John Baron error put Greenway on first to begin the bottom 6th. He only gained one base for two outs before Myers rammed a ball off the fence in left-center for a 2-out RBI double, giving the Raccoons another lead. Stedham again didn’t get to bat, and Sparkes struck out. Why exactly didn’t the Raccoons pinch-hit for him? Who knows. Maybe we thought he’d have another good inning. he walked Thompson in the top 7th, then gave up a loud bouncer that homed in for Berto’s glove, and the confused veteran managed to turn a 5-4-3; that one just as easily could have been in the corner, giving Ochoa a game-tying RBI. Instead, the inning ended. Berto singled and stole second in the bottom 7th, but was left on base – Greenway was walked with intent and two outs. Dusty Kulp then retired Hooge on a cozy fly. Prieto and Soung combined for a scoreless eighth before Tony Morales hit another double to left-center, this time leading off in the Coons’ half of the eighth. Manny hit for Myers, but was ordered to first base. Stedham flew out. COME ON, INSURANCE RUN, I groaned into my pillows. Maldonado hit for Soung, flew out, Berto got nailed, and Vickers grounded out to Hutson, stranding three. With two outs in the ninth, Campbell was taken deep by Alberto Torres, the first home run in the majors for the 25-year-old September callup, and tying the game as well. I howled. Slappy even made a noise behind me.

Ledford reached in the bottom 9th, but was left on, and the game went to extra innings. Ben Feist held off the Arrowheads in the 10th, but Garavito gave up a run on Abel Madsen’s pinch-hit double and Sean Ebner’s pinch-hit single in the 11th. And since the Raccoons had geared for defense after the eighth inning, leading off in the #1 hole against Tim Thweatt in the bottom 11th was … Jon Caskey, batting .130; in other words, ballgame. Unless Thweatt walked him, which he did. Vickers flew out to right, but Ledford got nailed for the second time, putting the winning run on base. Come on, Greenway – they’re begging for it! But Troy Greenway wasn’t going to safe the Raccoons – he struck out. Hooge batted with two outs. He singled to center, with Caskey being waved around third base, stumbling, falling down halfway down the line, and the game ended when Elliott Thompson with the baseball threw himself into the scrambling rookie. 4-3 Indians. Ramos 2-3, BB; Morales 2-5, 2 2B, RBI; Sparkes 7.0 IP, 6 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 1 BB, 3 K;

No word from Dr. Chung on Cosmo Trevino.

But I heard plenty of words from the baseball gods that there’s no point in worrying anymore.

It is what it is.

Game 2
IND: C E. Thompson – RF M. Ochoa – 3B Hutson – 1B Levis – CF Baron – 2B McKenzie – LF Cassell – SS D. Serrato – P J. Jackson
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Maldonado – LF Ledford – RF Greenway – CF M. Fernandez – C Morales – 2B Vickers – 1B Stedham – P Fidler

Jake Jackson was lost to injury in the second inning without allowing a hit or run, with Cesar Castillo being the first replacement. The left-hander was one of five strikeouts for Fidler the first time through the order. He chalked up eight by the end of the fourth inning… and also a Levis single and Baron homer to fall 2-0 behind. Fidler added two more strikeouts in the fifth inning, then another run in the sixth, with Elliott Thompson legging out a triple for the next unmistakable sign of the apocalypse and that the Raccoons were not going to win this game or the division, ever again.

The Raccoons still had no hits against the combo of Jackson and Castillo, at least until Berto opened the bottom 6th with a double to left-center. He scored on Ledford’s single off Jimmy Lohrey, bringing up Greenway as the tying run, but his fly to right was caught and Manny Fernandez struck out. The tying runs were on in the seventh, with Morales singling and Stedham walking against Manuel Herrera, a righty. Ed Hooge hit for Citriniti in the #9 hole and walloped a home run over the fence in left-center, one of those surprises he was capable of – and that gave Portland a 4-3 lead. Neither me nor Honeypaws had any doubt they’d blow it somehow. The bases loaded facing Mike Hurley, with Berto, Maldo, and Greenway all reaching base, two of them with intentional walks after Berto stole second base. Manny Fernandez cracked a blast to center – GRAAAAAAAAND SLAAAAAAAAAMMM!!!

Yeah, like they couldn’t blow that one, too… The Raccoons sent Francisco Pena into the eighth inning because they were up by FIVE and could reasonably expect to – well, no. Hutson doubled, Levis with the RBI single, for ****’s sake. Ryan Cassell’s 2-out single off Yeom Soung plated Levis, 8-5, before the inning ended. Somehow Jermaine Campbell could get through the ninth inning without blowing the remaining 3-run lead, but nothing was pretty anymore around here… 8-5 Raccoons. M. Fernandez 1-4, HR, 4 RBI; Hooge (PH) 2-2, HR, 3 RBI; Fidler 6.2 IP, 4 H, 3 R, 3 ER, 3 BB, 10 K;

By Sunday morning, Cosmo Trevino was lost for the season with a mighty sore shoulder. He went back on the DL.

No, Maud, I still don’t want apple pie.

I just want to sleep.

Forever.

Game 3
IND: C E. Thompson – RF M. Ochoa – 3B Hutson – LF A. Torres – CF Baron – 2B McKenzie – 1B Cassell – SS D. Serrato – P J. Robinson
POR: 3B Ramos – CF Maldonado – RF Greenway – C Kilmer – LF Hooge – 1B Maruyama – SS Williams – 2B Myers – P Ottinger

Everything was hard off Ottinger on Sunday, with Dan Hutson going yard to put the Indians up 1-0 in the first. It became 2-0 in the third on a Myers throwing error, sailing a ball over Maruyama’s head with Mario Ochoa and Dan Hutson on base and two outs. Baron then chugged a 2-run double, 4-0. Robinson retired ten straight to begin the game, and when Maldonado singled in the bottom 4th he was stranded as well… It took the Raccoons a Chiyosaku Maruyama homer in the bottom 5th to reach the scoreboard, and that was also a solo shot… Further signs of the apocalypse included Ottinger leaving with Cassell and Serrato in scoring position and two outs in the sixth inning, and when David Fernandez came in he gave up – on a 1-2 pitch – a 2-run triple to *Elliott Thompson*. There was no fighting against it anymore. There was just signing up for defeat. And shame. 6-1 Indians.

In other news

September 11 – In a pointless transaction, the Thunder send CL Marcus Goode (8-11, 4.15 ERA, 28 SV) to the Bayhawks for two prospects.
September 12 – LVA OF Mike Hall (.285, 5 HR, 38 RBI) is out for the season with a sprained ankle.

FL Player of the Week: PIT 1B Danny Santillano (.278, 22 HR, 94 RBI), hitting .462 (12-26) with 3 HR, 5 RBI
CL Player of the Week: OCT 1B Danny Cruz (.248, 23 HR, 60 RBI), batting .450 (9-20) with 3 HR, 7 RBI

Complaints and stuff

(pushes plate with piece of apple pie and spoon away) No Maud. – No, I won’t eat anymore. – No, Maud.

There is no point in prolonging my suffering anymore.

MIL (90-52) – NYC (4), POR (4), BOS (3), CHA (3), IND (3), SFB (3) – .487 – 86.2% (+9.2%)
VAN (86-55) – BOS (4), IND (4), NYC (4), LVA (3), POR (3), TIJ (3) – .474 – 10.9% (-1.7%)
POR (85-57) – BOS (4), MIL (4), LVA (3), NYC (3), TIJ (3), VAN (3) – .511 – 2.9% (-7.6%)

Fun Fact: Last time the Loggers made the playoffs, the Raccoons disappeared into the rabbit hole for three years.

That was from 2022 through 2024, losing 88 on average.

The good news is that this time around, the Nick Derkses, David Kipples, and “Tragic” Travis Garretts are already here.

[Questdog]

It ain't my fault.... I did not proclaim this the greatest team in Portland history early in the season.... Why will some people just refuse to believe in jinxes when when the evidence is boinking them on the nose?....

[Westheim]

Originally Posted by Questdog

It ain't my fault.... I did not proclaim this the greatest team in Portland history early in the season.... Why will some people just refuse to believe in jinxes when when the evidence is boinking them on the nose?....

(is boinked in the pointy black nose with a donut by Maud) No Maud. No. (boink) No Maud. I don't wanna... (boink) ... yes, I see. (boink) Pink sugar pearls, my favorite. But no. (boink) I will never eat again, Maud. (boink)

(boink)

Raccoons (85-57) vs. Loggers (90-52) – September 13-16, 2038

No illusions. The Raccoons had played horrendously against the Loggers for the entire season, were down 8-6 in the season series, and were losing to everybody without problems, so why would they not lose to the Loggers. In a season where a split against the Loggers was a tall ask, the Raccoons needed the 4-game sweep. They weren’t going to get it. Milwaukee was second in runs scored, had singled pretty much every Raccoons hurler to death already this year, and they were only giving up the third-fewest runs in the CL.

Projected matchups:
Bernie Chavez (9-10, 4.40 ERA) vs. Cody Chamberlin (10-10, 5.28 ERA)
Raffaello Sabre (8-11, 3.70 ERA) vs. Sergio Piedra (15-5, 3.04 ERA)
Bryce Sparkes (17-6, 3.15 ERA) vs. Sal Chavez (16-7, 3.61 ERA)
Steve Fidler (8-4, 2.91 ERA) vs. William Stockwell (13-9, 3.67 ERA)

Three right-handers, then another southpaw at the end.

No, Maud, I also don’t want cookies. I want nothing anymore.

Game 1
MIL: CF T. Romero – RF Valenzuela – SS Del Vecchio – LF J. Nelson – C F. Gomez – 3B Conner – 1B M. Cooper – 2B V. Acosta – P Chamberlin
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Maldonado – LF Ledford – RF Greenway – CF M. Fernandez – C Morales – 1B Stedham – 2B Caskey – P B. Chavez

Bernie Chavez had caught plenty of splinters in the snout his last time out (six runs in less than two innings), and singles by Tony Romero and persistent pest Ted Del Vecchio already had me sigh. He walked Felipe Gomez with two outs, but Josh Conner struck out to strand all three runners. The Raccoons had two runners in the first two innings, but then got two more to start the bottom 3rd when Bernie (!) and Berto singled. Maldonado hit into a fielder’s choice, Ledford whiffed, but Troy Greenway found the corner for a 2-out, 2-run double and the first markers on the board. Morales and Stedham reached in the fourth, but Berto’s floater with two outs didn’t dink in and they were stranded in scoring position. The Loggers continued to put pressure on Bernie, having a pair on in the fifth with Victor Acosta and Tony Romero singles, but couldn’t break through, and Bernie had five scoreless to start the game. While Bernie had a quick sixth, too, the Loggers kept giving away chances and the Raccoons were not inclined to pounce. After Ledford reached on an uncaught third strike in the bottom 5th and was stranded, and in the sixth Chamberlin began by nicking Morales before Stedham reached on an Acosta error. Ed Hooge batted for Caskey before Chamberlin threw a wild pitch, after which Hoogey was walked intentionally to make it three on, no outs … and Bernie at the plate. The Coons didn’t make a move, and Bernie was out on an easy fly. Berto clipped an RBI single to right, scoring Morales to make it a 3-0 game. Maldonado cashed two with a single to center. Ledford also singled, loading the bases again. Greenway struck out in a full count, but Manny hit an RBI single. Only after that did Nate Ziemke restore order with a groundout by Morales, but it was now a 6-0 game. Bernie conceded a run in the seventh on Josh Conner’s leadoff double to left and two productive outs, but that was all through eight innings. Francisco Pena would do the ninth without incinerating the entire ballpark. 6-1 Raccoons. Ramos 2-4, BB, RBI; Maldonado 2-5, 2 RBI; Chavez 8.0 IP, 6 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 6 K, W (10-10) and 1-3;

Game 2
MIL: CF T. Romero – RF Valenzuela – SS Del Vecchio – C F. Gomez – 3B Conner – 1B M. Cooper – LF Leyva – 2B V. Acosta – P Piedra
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Maldonado – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – C Kilmer – CF Hooge – 2B Vickers – 1B Stedham – P Sabre

Sabre was not put in the oven in the first, which was also already an improvement over recent games. The Raccoons got Maldonado on with a single in the bottom 1st, then a throwing error by Piedra behind Matt Cooper’s back for two bases. Rico Leyva held Greenway to a sac fly in left, but that was at least a 1-0 lead before Kilmer popped out. The Loggers got their first runner (Gomez) on a Berto error (#3,583), but Sabre retired the next three in the top 2nd. The Loggers’ first hit was a leadoff single by Danny Valenzuela in the fourth. He moved up on a grounder, then stole third base, his 36th of the year. Sabre pounced on Felipe Gomez’ grounder, though, shooing Valenzuela back to third base before throwing out the snail-paced catcher for a BIG second out, then got rid of Conner on a groundout. Matt Cooper and Victor Acosta hit singles in the fifth, but Piedra struck out bunting and Romero ended the inning with a grounder to Jesse Stedham, keeping the score at 1-0. Then it all came apart again; Valenzuela legged out an infield single to begin the sixth, then stole second on Kilmer. Impossible Ted Del Vecchio flicked a 1-2 pitch past Stedham for a game-tying single, stole second, and reached third on Kilmer’s throwing error. Felipe Gomez singled him across, 2-1 Loggers, well done, boys, well done. Bottom 6th, Greenway opened with a walk. Kilmer, fearing the blunderbuss discharging into his bottom, singled past Del Vecchio to get a second runner on. Hooge whiffed, Vickers singled, loading the bags for Stedham, who popped out. The Raccoons had to hit for Sabre with three on and two down; Brad Ledford fell to 0-2 before laying off three breaking pitches, then poked the 3-2 over Del Vecchio for a single. Greenway scored, Kilmer scored, the score was flipped! Piedra was yanked for lefty Rob Clack, but Berto dropped an RBI single, while Maldonado grounded out, keeping it at 4-2 for the pen.

Ben Feist had a 1-2-3 seventh against the bottom of the order, then also retired Romero to begin the eighth. PH Joseph Ronan (hitting for Clack, with Valenzuela having been removed in a double switch) tripled off David Fernandez, who was swiftly yanked for Prieto. Del Vecchio hit a sac fly, Gomez walked, but Conner grounded out to Ramos, ending the eighth. Tommy Iezzi was in for the bottom 8th, putting Hooge and Vickers on the corners with singles and no outs. Come on, boys! Insurance run! Stedham slapped a single up the middle – Hooge scored, while Vickers went for third base, where he arrived with the baseball and slid hard into Josh Conner, crashing knee into knee. He was safe – but also out of the game with some sort of knock to his leg. Elijah Williams ran for him, while Tony Morales whiffed in Prieto’s spot. Berto added another run with a sac fly before being replaced for defense by Williams, while Caskey would play second behind Jermaine Campbell. Cooper and Leyva were out before Acosta and John Maier singled and went to the corners for Romero, the tying run. And Romero struck out! 6-3 Raccoons! Ramos 2-4, 2 RBI; Kilmer 2-4; Vickers 2-4; Ledford (PH) 1-1, 2 RBI; Sabre 6.0 IP, 6 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 0 BB, 4 K, W (9-11);

No, Maud, I didn’t touch the donuts you placed under my nose. – Don’t feel like it. – Yeah yeah, maybe later. (Maud leaves)

(looks at donut)

(sniff) (sniff)

Game 3
MIL: CF Romero – RF Valenzuela – SS Del Vecchio – LF J. Nelson – C F. Gomez – 3B Conner – 1B Ronan – 2B V. Acosta – P S. Chavez
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Maldonado – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Hooge – C Morales – 1B Stedham – 2B Caskey – P Sparkes

Berto singles and stole second in the bottom 1st, but only Greenway reached of the next three, did so by walking, and both were stranded on Hooge’s soft fly out. Instead the Loggers went up 1-0 on doubles by Conner and Acosta in the second inning. Tony Morales reached on an error to begin the bottom of the inning, but that didn’t lead anywhere for Portland. Two singles and a hit batter put three on for Milwaukee in the third inning. Gomez was up with one down, lifted a fly to Greenway in medium-depth rightfield, and Tony Romero went and scored, beating Greenway’s throw by more than a whisker, but less than an axe, 2-0. Conner hit an RBI single, but Joseph Ronan flew out to center. The Raccoons were held to two hits through five innings, and the game attempted to go into the bin for good in the sixth. Ronan and Acosta hit singles off Sparkes, and Sal Chavez bunted. Sparkes eagerly threw the ball to third base – late – and then was yanked with the bags full and one out. Citriniti came on and truck out Romero, then immediately was replaced with Soung, who fanned Valenzuela, stranding all runners.

Bottom 6th, Maldonado was brushed by a naughty baseball, giving the Raccoons their fourth runner of the game. Manny slapped a grounder to right which Acosta cut off, but couldn’t turn into a play, giving the Raccoons a second cheap runner to bring up Greenway as the tying run, but he swung over a low 3-2 before Hooge walked to fill the bags, with Tony Morales up next. Chavez fell to 3-0 against him, and then Morales swung. I groaned as he flew out to Valenzuela. Maldonado scored, but … but why? Stedham dropped an RBI single, 3-2, while Ledford hit for Caskey and struck out. But the Raccoons got Berto on in the bottom 7th. He reached second base on Maldo’s groundout, and then circled around on Manny Fernandez’ liner that dinked into leftfield, tying the game at three …!

Bottom 8th, singles for Morales and Stedham, and Jeff Kilmer hitting for Garavito in the #8 hole with one out, but grounded out. Elijah Williams was batting ninth already, and the Raccoons were short on healthy infielders after removing Caskey early, so there was no batting for him against a tiring Chavez. He flew out to Valenzuela. Prieto got around a Romero single and stolen base (#43) in the ninth, keeping the game tied at three and allowing the top of the order a chance to walk off against Loggers closer Alex Banderas in the bottom 9th. Berto grounded out. Maldonado walked, and the Coons called a hit-and-run at 0-1. Maldonado ran, Manny whiffed, and Gomez dropped the ball, allowing Maldo to second base with the winning run. Manny fought off two pitches before singling, but Maldonado had to be held as the ball dropped just in front of Tony Romero and there was no hope in sending him. But the next best thing was up – Troy Greenway, all 116 RBI’s worth of him. He grounded out to right, Manny to sec-… Maldonado wasn’t running …! Acosta shied him back with a move to home, then took the out on Greenway. Ed Hooge would bat with two outs – and struck out, leaving the winning run at third base.

Gomez reached for Milwaukee in the 10th, but was double-played off against Prieto. Banderas came back for the bottom 10th, allowed a single to Stedham, but that was all. David Fernandez had a scoreless 11th and also 12th after Tommy Iezzi retired the Coons’ 1-2-3 orderly and without panic. No such luck in the 12th, with Greenway leading off. After laying off a pitch outside, Greenway struck away at the second in the hope of livening up an 0-for-4 day. Livening it up he did with a fly to deep right. Deep, high, and – OUTTA HERE!!!! OUTTA HERE!! OUTTA HERE!! 4-3 Furballs!!! Ramos 2-66; M. Fernandez 3-6, 2B, RBI; Greenway 1-5, HR, RBI; Stedham 3-5, RBI; Prieto 2.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 2 K; D. Fernandez 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 1 K, W (4-2);

(munches a donut with Maud contently looking on)

Game 4
MIL: CF Romero – RF Valenzuela – SS Del Vecchio – C F. Gomez – 1B M. Cooper – LF Leyva – 3B Benito – 2B V. Acosta – P Stockwell
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Maldonado – RF Greenway – C Kilmer – CF M. Fernandez – 1B Maruyama – 2B Myers – LF Castro – P Fidler

Going for the SWEEP the Raccoons had four straight hits after Berto’s initial out in the bottom 1st. Kilmer hit an RBI double, Manny an RBI single, and after Maruyama flew out too shallow to center, Dave Myers chipped in an RBI single. That brought up occasional bystander Alex Castro, in to balance the lineup against the southpaw. The 28-year-old nobody got his first big-league RBI with an RBI single to left, 4-0, before Fidler struck out. Castro also shone by snatching an Acosta blooper before it could touch the grass in the third inning. With a little help from his friends, those that had been in our 2038 plans and those that hadn’t been, Fidler made it through five on a 2-hit shutout, with the score still 4-0. Romero hit a 1-out single in the sixth and stole second base, advancing further on Valenzuela’s groundout to bring up Del Vecchio, who could not bring his many knives to bear in the Raccoons’ backs in this series, and flew out easily to Greenway. The Loggers stranded another runner at third base in the seventh, but Felipe Gomez had only reached on a Ramos error. Acosta hit a leadoff single in the eighth, but was forced out by PH Joseph Ronan. Romero struck out. When Valenzuela came back up, the Raccoons went to the pen; Fidler had been awesome, but he was on 102 pitches and Valenzuela was utter danger and also a left-hander. Mauricio Garavito got the ball and the strikeout, and the Coons were one inning from the sweep. The bottom 8th was uneventful, with the score remaining 4-0 at this point. Ben Feist got the ball, but an array of replacements was ready. Del Vecchio lined out to Caskey, but Gomez singled, Cooper doubled, and here came Campbell. Leyva struck out, but Juan Benito clipped a 2-run single near the leftfield line. Acosta was next, and Campbell drew a line in the dirt. Until here and no further! Acosta was disemboweled on four pitches, and the Raccoons had completed the sweep! 4-2 Raccoons!! Greenway 3-4, 2B; M. Fernandez 2-3, BB, RBI; Castro 2-3, RBI; Fidler 7.2 IP, 4 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 9 K, W (9-4);

(blinks)

With that, the division was greatly upheavaled. The Raccoons were now 1 1/2 games back of first place… and that was held by the damn Elks. The Loggers were second, half a game back. And the Raccoons were off to Mexico to get a tan in Acapulco.

Raccoons (89-57) @ Condors (73-73) – September 17-19, 2038

…or Tijuana. Despite their pedestrian record, the Condors were in second place, and only two games back of the playoffs. The Raccoons were 4-2 against them in ’38, and hoped to get into a mediocre team with a run differential of zip, sixth in runs scored and fifth in runs allowed.

Projected matchups:
Jared Ottinger (7-8, 5.33 ERA) vs. Matt Diduch (13-9, 4.68 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (10-10, 4.26 ERA) vs. George Griffin (4-10, 2.71 ERA)
Raffaello Sabre (9-11, 3.68 ERA) vs. Jimmy Driver (12-14, 3.79 ERA)

These were only right-handers, and that was not a typo with George Griffin. He was indeed four and ten with an ERA that would easily lead our team. He was however not currently qualifying for the ERA race, being 3.1 innings short of qualifying on Friday morning.

Berto needed a day off, and Greenway even more so. We pitted both of them on Friday, since Jared Ottinger was not a guarantee for a W anyway…

Game 1
POR: 3B Myers – SS Maldonado – LF M. Fernandez – RF Ledford – CF Hooge – C Morales – 1B Stedham – 2B E. Williams – P Ottinger
TIJ: SS Bunyon – 2B Ragsdale – RF Willie Ojeda – LF J. Williams – 1B Zuazo – C J. Herrera – CF C. Boles – 3B Strohm – P Diduch

Ottinger struck out three in two scoreless innings before hitting a single that shifted Stedham to third base with one out in the top 3rd. He then took off for second base, but was thrown out. Dave Myers still made it 1-0 with a single to center, stole second, but was stranded when Justin Williams caught Maldo’s liner. The Condors flipped the score in the fourth with a Dylan Ragsdale homer to tie, a Willie Ojeda single, a stolen base, already his second of the game, and then a 2-out RBI single by Alvin Zuazo. Portland responded with Elijah Williams’ leadoff double to left in the fifth, putting the tying run on second base, and Ottie hit another single. He didn’t go this time; and Myers didn’t get an RBI either, popping out in foul ground. Maldo hit a sac fly to tie, and Manny slapped a ball over Chris Boles for an RBI double, 3-2! Ledford flew deep to left, but ended up with Williams to end the inning. Hooge and Morales singled off Diduch to begin the sixth, taking to the corners. Stedham grounded to short, with the Condors turning two for the cost of Hooge’s run, 4-2 on the 6-4-3. It was for naught – the Condors loaded them up with singles in the bottom 6th, with Ottinger yanked for Citriniti, who walked Juan Herrera and thus forced in a run. Soung replaced him against the left-handed Boles, who grounded up the middle, with Maldonado getting one out, but Boles legged out Williams’ throw and the tying run scored. Chris Strohm then grounded out to strand a pair. Donovan Bunyon then singled off Pena in the bottom 7th, and when David Fernandez replaced him he gave up an RBI double to Ojeda, giving Tijuana the lead. The Raccoons failed to respond in the eighth, then faced right-hander Steve Bailey in the ninth. Stedham drew a leadoff walk, but Williams flew out. The Raccoons went for it and sent Troy Greenway to hit in the #9 hole. He struck out, Myers grounded out, and the Coons lost. 5-4 Condors. Hooge 2-4, 2B;

Not optimal…

Game 2
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Maldonado – LF Ledford – RF Greenway – CF Hooge – C Morales – 1B Stedham – 2B E. Williams – P Chavez
TIJ: SS Bunyon – 2B Ragsdale – RF Willie Ojeda – LF J. Williams – 1B Zuazo – C J. Herrera – CF St. Pierre – 3B Strohm – P Driver

Jimmy Driver moved up to the Saturday race, and if the Condors skipped Griffin, we might see a left-handed opponent on Sunday after all. For the time being the Condors saw a box of free hits on the mound, with Bernie Chavez being entirely off the rolls again. He got whacked around for two hits and a run in the first, one hit in the second, and then five hits and an early exit after just 2.1 ******* ******* innings in the bottom 3rd. It was a 4-0 game, three on, one out, and Ben Feist, the ******* ******* came in and drilled Jon St. Pierre to force in a run before Strohm and Driver made soft outs.

Down 5-0, the Raccoons looked a bit clueless, Drivers truck out five in the early going, then got another run off support in the bottom 4th when Ojeda and Williams rapped long hits off Feist, a single and RBI double, respectively. The Coons found nothing against Driver and gave up in the middle of the fifth, sending Chris Womble to the mound. The rookie right-hander with the suspicious name that refused to instill confidence in his abilities was in trouble right away, walking Herrera and giving up a double to St. Pierre before Strohm hacked out. Driver also K’ed, and Bunyon was out on a pop. Berto singled and Maldonado homered in the sixth, reducing the gap to four runs, at least until a Maldonado error and a walk and two singles surrendered by the useless Womble restored the 6-run difference in the sixth. The seventh saw Gene Tennis try to fit a baseball in his mouth before being instructed to throw it instead. It went as well as expected, with two on and a 2-out triple by Williams, who was singled home by Zuazo as the Raccoons pitching staff was once again completely destroyed. It’s alright, we have routine with that. Giacomino Vitalini added a homer off Tennis in the eighth. 12-2 Condors. Ramos 2-4; Maldonado 3-4, HR, 2 RBI; Greenway 2-4;

Those were the only seven hits for Portland. The Condors had SEVENTEEN. And seven walks on top of that. And the error. And the hit batter. And who knows what I forgot about already from binging Tequila.

With the minor league season over the Raccoons brought up 2B Jose Brito, a .260 hitter in the majors in various cups of coffee. He had batted .330 with 13 HR and 86 RBI in AAA this year (and 3-for-7 in a brief cameo earlier in the majors).

Sunday’s game would be contested without Jesus Maldonado, who had emptied waste out of both eligible body openings all night long after too many stuffed chilis at a random street festival near the hotel after Saturday’s game. He looked miserable on Sunday morning and it was not unlikely that he’d be shipped back to Portland in a wooden box.

Game 3
POR: 3B Ramos – CF M. Fernandez – C Kilmer – RF Greenway – LF Ledford – 2B Brito – SS Myers – 1B Maruyama – P Sabre
TIJ: CF Phinazee – 2B Ragsdale – RF Willie Ojeda – LF J. Williams – 1B Zuazo – C J. Herrera – SS Bunyon – 3B Strohm – P Lerma

Jose Lerma (9-13, 3.73 ERA) was left-handed indeed, but the Raccoons could not do much better than putting four lefty batters into the lineup. Fernandez and Kilmer reached in the first inning, but were left on by Greenway and Ledford. The second time through, Berto singled and scored on a Kilmer single after Manny had grounded out. That was the first run of the game. Troy Greenway doubled to right, missing the fence not by much, but Kilmer had to be held at third base and both were stranded when Ledford grounded out. Donovan Bunyon would make up the difference with a 2-out double in the bottom 4th, scoring Justin Williams, who had reached with an infield single on Myers…

Sabre did his very best and pitched into the seventh inning with the 1-1 tie, but then was once again undone by ****** defense, then Kilmer’s. With Mal Phinazee on first base and two outs, Sabre struck out PH Chris Murphy… except that Kilmer lost the ball, punted it away, and Murphy reached first base. With Willie Ojeda up, the Raccoons opted for Yeom Soung, who gave up a deep F8 on the very first pitch, ending the inning. In the eighth a throwing error by Dave Myers put Herrera on second base with two outs when Antonio Prieto had done everything right. Garavito got a grounder from Bunyon to keep the game tied. The Raccoons continued to not do anything offensively, then tried to get through the bottom of the lineup with Francisco Pena in the bottom 9th. That worked, if you counted a leadoff walk to nobody Victor Quintanilla and two scary deep flies as success. Somehow the Coons made it into extras, but then still not on base. The Condors were less picky. Jon St. Pierre doubled off Feist in the bottom 10th, Zuazo walked, and David McNaughton ended the game with a walkoff single. 2-1 Condors. Kilmer 2-4, RBI; Brito 2-4; Sabre 6.2 IP, 8 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 5 K;

In other news

September 14 – ATL SP Terry Garrigan (13-10, 4.11 ERA) 2-hits the Bayhawks in a 9-0 shutout. He walks two and strikes out five.
September 14 – A single by 2B/SS Kenny Elder (.272, 7 HR, 31 RBI) spares the Rebels from getting no-hit by the Cyclones, who settle for a 2-0 combined 1-hitter.
September 15 – Substantial Salem scare, as SP Phil Harrington (18-3, 1.93 ERA) will miss two weeks with elbow soreness, but should be good for the playoffs, with the Wolves holding a 6 1/2 game lead.
September 16 – The Canadiens pick up a pinch-hitter in Drew Olszewski (.224, 1 HR, 9 RBI), shipping two meager prospects to the Thunder for the 34-year-old outfielder.
September 16 – The Blue Sox lose LF/RF Sean Ashley (.294, 15 HR, 50 RBI) to chronic back soreness. The 27-year-old is likely out for the season.
September 18 – WAS SP Michael Frank (5-11, 3.58 ERA) learns that the best way to win is to go all the way and allow nobody to score, shutting out the Scorpions on three hits in a 3-0 win.
September 19 – The Blue Sox beat the Warriors, 13-12 in 14 innings, after erasing a 6-0 deficit, and after matching the Warriors’ offers of one run in the 10th, two in the 11th, and one in the 13th, before finally walking off in the 14th. A total of 52 players are used in the game.
September 19 – CIN INF Adam Crabb (.260, 10 HR, 61 RBI) has his season end with a broken ankle.

FL Player of the Week: NAS 2B/SS Billy Bouldin (.338, 3 HR, 58 RBI), hitting .552 (16-29) with 4 RBI
CL Player of the Week: VAN OF Jerry Outram (.382, 29 HR, 102 RBI), murdering pitchers batting .636 (14-22) with 2 HR, 5 RBI

Complaints and stuff

The damn Elks swept the Aces over the weekend, so the worst case was here, and he was going to consume us all. There was no hope. The entire team had to be molten down and the pitching rebuilt from the ground up. We had nothing but suckers on that stuff. Some imbeciles, and at least five arsonists, too.

Our minor league teams went nowhere; the Alley Cats finished three games out of the playoffs in AAA, while the other teams all finished three games out of being forcefully dissolved.

The minor league teams went nowhere… just like the big-league club.

VAN (93-55) – BOS (4), IND (4), POR (3), TIJ (3) – .474 – 67.8% (+56.9%)
MIL (92-57) – NYC (4), BOS (3), CHA (3), IND (3) – .487 – 29.8% (-56.4%)
POR (89-60) – BOS (4), LVA (3), NYC (3), VAN (3) – .511 – 2.4% (-0.5%)

Fun Fact: The damn Elks last made the playoffs in 2012 when Ray Gilbert rallied them past the Raccoons all on his own on the final weekend of the season.

(lies motionless and face down on the couch while Chad in the mascot costume is perpetually smiling and patting Honeypaws)

[Questdog]

Oh, man! That is the worst sort of teasing with the sweep of the Loggers followed by Montezuma's Revenge!

[Westheim]

Raccoons (89-60) vs. Aces (59-90) – September 21-23, 2038

To start a 9-day, 10-game homestand, the Raccoons would host the Aces well knowing that more losses were not an option. They had to be winners now. The Aces, down 5-1 in the season series, were very much not. 11th in runs scored, ninth in runs allowed didn’t make for a pretty record, not even in the 2038 Continental League with only three good teams, and none of them in the Aces’ division.

Projected matchups:
Bryce Sparkes (17-6, 3.20 ERA) vs. Jesus Rodarte (6-7, 2.85 ERA)
Steve Fidler (9-4, 2.72 ERA) vs. Chris Crowell (12-8, 3.35 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (10-11, 4.45 ERA) vs. Willie Gallardo (0-4, 5.40 ERA)

In contrast to recent weeks, we’d see the southpaw in the opener rather than the last game of the set.

Since losing was no longer an option, Jared Ottinger was pushed to the end of the longest line thanks to the off day on Monday. The Raccoons were also still without Jesus Maldonado, who had still ruined toilets through Monday, including the one on the plane home from Tijuana. Rich Vickers still had the tight knee, and with Cosmo Trevino on the DL anyway, all hope could be rightfully abandoned.

Game 1
LVA: 1B Wiersma – SS O‘Keefe – 2B Briones – LF Jorgensen – RF Platero – C Kuehn – CF Velazquez – 3B Armfield – P Rodarte
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Brito – RF Greenway – C Kilmer – LF Ledford – SS Myers – CF Castro – 1B Maruyama – P Sparkes

Jeff Kilmer corked a 2-piece to left-center in the bottom 1st, plating Greenway and his 2-out walk, giving the Raccoons some sort of hope. Sparkes scattered three singles the first time through, but was not scored upon in the early innings, and by going three innings in this game he also reached 200 for the season. Bottom 3rd, the Critters loaded the bases with a Jose Brito walk and two singles by the 3-4 batters that had already worked out the earlier lead, bringing up Brad Ledford with one out. He flew out to Steve Jorgensen in shallow left, Chris O’Keefe snatched Dave Myers’ liner, and the only run the Critters got in the inning scored on a balk… Some are good, some are lucky? The Raccoons surely weren’t in the first category, also stranding Alex Castro and Alberto Ramos on the corners with Brito’s groundout to end the bottom 4th…

The entire park gasped when Troy Greenway dove and tumbled for a Jorgensen bloop in the fifth inning. He made the catch for the third out, stranding O’Keefe and Mario Briones, and also avoided breaking any arms, legs, and necks. Alex Castro stole the first base of his but brief major league career in the sixth inning, but was also stranded by Maruyama and Sparkes, and at least the latter was excused for still carving on a shutout. More offense finally came about in the bottom 7th, with Jose Brito reaching base ahead of Troy Greenway, who reached the cheap seats with a gargantuan homer off John Landrum, his 37th of the year, and only one short of the franchise high-water mark. Sparkes held steady through eight, but arrived in the ninth on 94 pitches. Corey Caldwell legged out an infield single to begin the inning, and Ed Stedham slashed a 2-out single through the left side from the #9 hole. First, who were those people, and second, why did they insist on being annoying? Occasional pest Ken Wiersma would be the last guy for Sparkes, with Jermaine Campbell readying. Sparkes lost him on balls, then had to go. Unfortunately, a full count to O’Keefe also ended with four balls for Campbell, walking in a run. Briones struck out to finally end the pesky game. 5-1 Coons. Greenway 2-3, BB, HR, 2 RBI; Kilmer 2-4, HR, 2 RBI; Castro 1-2, 2 BB; Sparkes 8.2 IP, 9 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 3 K, W (18-6);

Among the top 3 in the CL North, only the Critters had been off on Monday. The Loggers had by now lost twice to the Falcons, while the Elks had split a pair with Tijuana. The Raccoons were four games out, and 1 1/2 behind Milwaukee.

Game 2
LVA: 1B Wiersma – SS O‘Keefe – 2B Briones – LF Jorgensen – RF Platero – C Kuehn – CF Caldwell – 3B Armfield – P Crowell
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Maldonado – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Hooge – C Morales – 2B Brito – 1B Stedham – P Fidler

Ken Wiersma, the occasional but regular pest, opened the game with a double up the line in left and scored on Briones’ single to give the Aces a quick lead. I moaned deeply and Maud was briefly concerned I’d expire on the spot. The Raccoons didn’t do anything in the first, but in the second loaded the bases with Greenway walking, Morales singling, and Brito reaching on an error. Stedham batted with one out and three aboard, but his fly to left was caught by Jorgensen. It was deep enough to get Greenway home to tie the game, but Fidler struck out to end the inning. Maldonado tripled in the bottom 3rd, but was teeth-gnashingly stranded. A runner was back at third base in the fourth inning, with Ed Hooge hitting a leadoff double to right and advancing on a wild pitch. Tony Morales obliged my deepest wishes and hit a single to left, putting Portland ahead 2-1.

Both teams kept wasting the odd single here and there through the next innings. Fidler ended up scattering seven hits through as many innings, then was batted for when his spot was up leading off the bottom 7th. Dave Myers walked in his spot, but the Raccoons didn’t get him much further up the road until Manny Fernandez also walked with two outs. Greenway slapped an RBI single for an extra run, 3-1, and got his 120th RBI of the year. Hoogey added another single, but Morales grounded out. That gave a 4-1 lead to the pen, with Antonio Prieto single-handedly blowing the lead with a walk to O’Keefe, a Briones single, and Jose Platero’s intestine-tearing homer to left. That was nothing compared to the ninth, with Garavito’s leadoff walk issued to Chad Armfield, and then the homer Ken Wiersma, the ******* **** ****, hit off Ben Feist. Generally, as a rule of thumb, if you’re unsigned when the season starts, there’s a reason for that, right? RIGHT, BEN?? Portland had removed Berto for defense when they were still up 4-1, so now Alex Castro pinch-hit for Feist, the dismal huffer and puffer, in the #1 hole to begin the bottom 9th against southpaw Casey McQueen, who walked Castro, and then also Manny with one out. Greenway thus came up as the winning run. And he indeed ended the game! …with a grounder to second base. 4-6-3. Ballgame. 6-4 Aces. Hooge 2-4, 2B, RBI; Moales 2-4, RBI; Fidler 7.0 IP, 7 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 4 K;

The Loggers lost their last CL South game, and the damn Elks won theirs, putting the Raccoons five games out and without much in terms of actual chances. And they had nobody to ******* blame but their own ****** performances since the summer.

Game 3
LVA: CF Rossi – SS O’Keefe – 2B Briones – LF Jorgensen – RF Platero – C Kuehn – 1B Byrd – 3B Armfield – P O. Valdes
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Maldonado – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Hooge – C Morales – 2B Vickers – 1B Stedham – P Chavez

Oscar Valdes (4-3, 4.13 ERA) was a 27-year-old right-handed sophomore with spotty track record and as far as we knew not related by blood or blood money to Nick Valdes, most beloved and dearest leader around these parts. The Aces spotted him a 2-0 lead when Bernie Chavez clumsily walked Nate Rossi and gave up a blast to O’Keefe, and made us wonder out loud why we hadn’t sent Ottinger to begin with. The Coons had the bags full in the bottom 2nd, with Greenway doubling and two walks right after that, meaning there was nobody out for Rich Vickers, who hit a hard comebacker to Valdes that was good for a 1-2-3 double play, and Stedham grounded out for the last out.

No substantial threat arose from the Raccoons until the fifth, when Stedham reached first base under his own power to begin the inning, and Bernie Chavez reached second base for a capital throwing error by Armfield. The tying runs were thus in scoring position with nobody out. Berto laid off the garbage and drew a walk, but that only meant the Aces had us right where they wanted us – three on, no outs, and too ******* stupid to pull a booger from our own noses. Maldonado poked at the first pitch, grounded to short, 6-4-3, and while a run scored, everything was very sad indeed. Manny whiffed, the inning ended, and I wished the season would too…

Bernie Chavez was yanked after frustratingly soft singles by Platero and Paul Kuehn to open the seventh. David Fernandez got through the bottom of the order to keep the score at 2-1, and Pena pitched a 1-2-3 eighth against that part of the order and even with two strikeouts. None of which meant a comeback on the scoreboard until Troy Greenway faced a tiring Oscar Valdes with two outs in the bottom 8th and hit a franchise mark-matching bomb to right. Since nobody was on base, he only tied the game. Yeom Soung kept it tied in the ninth, and the Raccoons had a chance to walk off against Matt May, a righty with an average ERA, in the bottom 9th. Morales struck out, but Vickers and Stedham singled. Brad Ledford hit for Soung but popped out on a defensive swing at 3-2, and that brought up Berto, who slapped a ball up the middle. No chance for O’Keefe, and Vickers got the early start with two outs and easily scored from second base, ending the game with a walkoff …! 3-2 Raccoons! Ramos 2-4, RBI; Greenway 2-4, HR, 2B, RBI; Maruyama (PH) 1-1; Chavez 6.0 IP, 4 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 8 K;

We made up half a game this way, and thus were 4 1/2 out with 10 to play – which were bad odds, really, but since we had the damn Elks in the season finale, we only had to make up 1 1/2 games in our next seven to have fate in our own paws compared to them, and the Loggers were only one game ahead of us anyway. It looked *bad* … but it was still doable.

Enter the Crusaders.

Raccoons (91-61) vs. Crusaders (64-88) – September 24-26, 2038

Almost certainly locked into sixth place in the North, the Crusaders were just playing out the string. We already had the season series in the bag at 10-5, but needed three more wins anyway. They were sixth in runs scored, but were allowing the very most runs in the CL with a -143 run differential. And did I mention we need the three wins?

Projected matchups:
Raffaello Sabre (9-11, 3.60 ERA) vs. Bill Quintero (8-16, 4.11 ERA)
Jared Ottinger (7-8, 5.39 ERA) vs. Julian Ponce (7-12, 3.85 ERA)
Bryce Sparkes (18-6, 3.11 ERA) vs. Dave Hils (4-5, 2.63 ERA)

Right, left, right. And remember boys, we need the wins.

Game 1
NYC: LF L. Herrera – 3B Sifuentes – C D. Phillips – 1B Salto – SS Duenez – CF Salek – 2B Lira – CF Besaw – P Quintero
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Maldonado – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Hooge – C Morales – 2B Vickers – 1B Stedham – P Sabre

Ramon Sifuentes hit a homer to left in the first inning, and the Raccoons would have to play another one from behind, then were doomed by getting three on with nobody out in the bottom of the first. Greenway came up, but struck out in a full count, which was apparently a thing that could happen, but left my jaw dropped to my knees. Ed Hooge made it all whole again with a 2-run single, but that would be all for now. Mario Duenez, Rich Salek, and Tony Lira reached in order to tie the game against Sabre in the fourth, but Sabre countered with an unexpected 2-out, 2-strike single over Tony Lira in the bottom of the inning, sending Jesse Stedham first-to-third, and then across home plate a minute later when Berto singled to right, 3-2. Maldonado grounded out to strand a pair. Quintero would get revenge with a 2-out single of his own in the sixth inning, but with nobody out, and was also stranded.

So while Sabre was in no way dominant or even convincing, with seven hits against him in six frames, he remained 3-2 ahead at that point. Ledford hit for him with no more of a chance than Morales on first and two outs in the bottom 6th, and grounded out. Between Dennis Citriniti, David Fernandez, a Berto error, and two Crusaders base runners, the Raccoons made a real mess out of the top 7th, which nevertheless ended with a pop to Vickers by PH George Hawthorne. That stranded the runners, but the leadoff jack the .172 monster Lira hit off Fernandez in the eighth tied the game anyway. Pena then got three outs. Bottom 8th, righty Manny Vasquez had the inning covered after Hooge’s 1-out single when Morales grounded to short, except that Mario Duenez flipped the ball away and the Raccoons had runners on first and second with one out. Vickers struck out, Stedham flew out. Oh, you teases!!

The game went to extras, the Raccoons went to Travis Sims, and soon regretted it when he nailed Duenez, but then recovered to retire the next three with two strikeouts included. No left-handed batter ever came up, which was the only reason why he wasn’t yanked. Ed Hooge singled and stole second in the bottom 10th, but was left on. He was then removed from the game in a double switch, with Prieto getting into the #5 hole and striking out the side in the top 11th, then hit a guy, Devin Phillips, and walked two more (Hawthorne, Lira) to get stuck with two outs in the 12th. Yeom Soung struck out Tony Coca, the old foe, to end the inning, plus two more in a 1-2-3 13th, while the offense did zero. The bottom 13th began with Greenway up against new pitcher, lefty Casey Pinter. Greenway was 0-5 with 3 K, the sort of rotten day that would magically turn into greatness with a leadoff jack – if I had my will. I didn’t get it, but he got the sombrero. Trying just … that *tad* too hard…!

By the 14th, the Raccoons wound up with Chris Womble and had resign themselves to their fate. Graciano Salto singled in the inning, but that was all, but the Raccoons still couldn’t even get on ******* base, and the 15th then had Ryan Carr double in Tony Lira to break the persistent tie. The Raccoons brought the top of the order to the plate against Jamal Barrow and his 4.32 ERA in the bottom 15th. Berto singled to center. Maldo dove out of the way of an errant 0-2 that sent Berto to second base, but eventually struck out. Fernandez grounded out. Greenway grounded out. 4-3 Crusaders. Ramos 3-7, RBI; Hooge 3-5, 2 RBI; Stedham 2-6;

The damn Elks swept a double header from the useless Titans, and that put the Raccoons six games out. There was hardly a person left that considered them a playoff candidate, not with that ****** hitting, and not with Ottinger the Devastator on deck.

Devastating to our own record, that is.

Game 2
NYC: LF L. Herrera – 3B Sifuentes – C D. Phillips – SS Duenez – CF Salek – 2B Lira – 1B K. Henderson – CF Besaw – P Ponce
POR: 3B Myers – 2B Brito – CF Maldonado – RF Greenway – C Kilmer – SS Williams – LF Castro – 1B Maruyama – P Ottinger

Alex Castro hit his first major league homer for a 2-0 lead in a second inning in which Ottinger struck out the side, so wonders would indeed never cease, even though the Raccoons were beyond the saving capabilities of most major miracles now. They had the bags full in the fourth, though, with Kilmer, Williams, and Castro all aboard, but both Maruyama and Ottinger popped out to strand all of them. Then Ottinger also blew the lead in a completely off-the-rails fifth. Lira walked, and Joe Besaw dropped a single. They were bunted into scoring position with two outs, which was not a shock move with the pitcher up. Then Ottinger scored Lira with a wild pitch, and the tying run came home on Lorenzo Herrera’s howling double to left. Ottinger threw another wild pitch before Sifuentes flew out to right. And while that was the only major mistake he had in 6.2 *fine* innings before Ponce (…) chased him with a single in the seventh (Garavito got out of the inning), I wished nothing more than to strangle him with my own paws. Nothing compared to the eighth, where Ben Feist was dismembered in front of thousands of screaming kids. Salto reached on a Kilmer throwing error, and Duenez singled him home to break the tie. Rich Salek singled, and Tony Lira hit an RBI single. Feist was kicked down the stairs to the clubhouse, and Tony Pena gave up a sac fly before getting out of the inning.

Down 5-2, the Raccoons did … well, Myers walked. Brito singled. Maldonado hit an RBI double. The tying runs were in scoring position for Greenway with nobody out, and he was haphazardly walked to fill the bags. Three on, no outs, doom – new pitcher Manny Vasquez would surely clean up. Or walk in a run against Kilmer, 5-4. Berto batted for Williams, but whiffed against southpaw Todd Lish, who immediately yielded for right-hander Jeff Turi. Ledford batted for Castro and hit a sac fly, tying the game, and Stedham batted for Maruyama and walked. Rich Vickers batted for Pena and clipped an RBI single to center, 6-5. Myers struck out. Jermaine Campbell inherited the lead, and had the game closed out with Ben Putz at first and two outs when Devin Phillips grounded to short… and Dave Myers ****** up the play. Error. Another guy aboard. Duenez walked, bases loaded. Salek dropped a game-tying single. Greg Ortiz finally flew out to center. But the game was tied, and the Raccoons had thrown out almost all their bench already. They also made three quick outs in the bottom 9th against Pinter.

Citriniti had a clean inning, then loaded the bases in the 11th with a Ricardo Salmeron double, a nicked Devin Phillips, and a walk to Duenez, and one out. The Raccoons called for a left-hander, but Gene Tennis was the only rested option. The Crusaders responded with a righty pinch-hitter in Tony Coca. On Coca’s RBI single, a wild pitch, an RBI groundout by Dan Ferry, Kumanosuke Henderson’s RBI double, singles by Joe Besaw and Tim Stalker (et tu??), five runs scored before Salmeron grounded out to end the inning. The Raccoons fell kinda short of rallying that out in the bottom 11th. 11-7 Crusaders. Kilmer 3-4, BB, 2B, RBI; Castro 2-3, HR, 2 RBI; Vickers (PH) 1-1, RBI; Morales (PH) 1-1, HR, RBI;

(sits there, frozen solid, with a very thin line of blood running from one corner of the mouth)

Game 3
NYC: LF L. Herrera – 3B Sifuentes – C D. Phillips – 1B Salto – RF Salek – 2B Lira – SS J. Adams – CF Besaw – P Hils
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Maldonado – LF Ledford – RF Greenway – CF M. Fernandez – C Morales – 2B Brito – 1B Stedham – P Sparkes

After leaving Berto on second base in the first, the Raccoons started the second inning with a Manny single. Tony Morales also was going to single to right, but the batted ball struck Fernandez’ ankle, he was called out, and Brito hit into a double play, which was the perfect summary for the season. The team would take a lead on singles by Ledford, Fernandez, and Morales in the fourth, but looking around the half-empty stands, nobody cared anymore. There was nothing to care about anymore. 20 wins for Sparkes, maybe. 40 homers for Greenway, who was 0-for-his-last-13.

Sparkes had the Crusaders on the ground through seven innings, allowing just two soft hits. Jim Adams hit an infield single to begin the eighth, but there was no reason to think that – no, PH Ricardo Salmeron just doubled. A pop on the infield bought time, but Henderson hit a sac fly from the #1 hole, tying the game against useless Raccoons. Berto was on base in the bottom 8th, and was also caught stealing. The ninth began with Phillips and Salto doubles off Sparkes to break the tie, and a pinch-hit double off Garavito by George Hawthorne. Manny Fernandez drew a walk off Mike Simcoe to begin the bottom 9th. Tony Morales hit into a double play. 3-1 Crusaders. Ramos 2-4; Ledford 2-4; M. Fernandez 2-3, BB; Morales 2-4, RBI; Stedham 2-3; Sparkes 8.0 IP, 6 H, 3 R, 3 ER; 0 BB, 4 K, L (18-7);

In other news

September 20 – Tijuana’s Donovan Bunyon (.266, 8 HR, 56 RBI) goes yard for the only run in a 1-0 win over the Canadiens as both teams vie for a spot in the CLCS.
September 21 – It takes 11 innings for OCT 2B/SS Jose Agosto (.222, 1 HR, 24 RBI) to decide their game with the Crusaders by a sac fly, giving the Thunder a 1-0 win.
September 22 – Guilty of a walkoff balk is Knights reliever Roland Warner (3-3, 1.98 ERA, 11 SV), twitching with Boston’s John Hitch on third base to wave the winning run across for the Titans, 2-1 in nine innings.
September 23 – SFW C Ethan McCullar (.279, 27 HR, 114 RBI) brings in five runs on nothing more than a double and a single in a 12-2 rush of the Buffaloes.
September 25 – The Indians hold the Loggers to a Danny Valenzuela (.325, 10 HR, 69 RBI) single for 11 innings before finally scoring themselves for a 2-0 win.
September 26 – The Canadiens lose their game with the Titans in the 14th inning when C Derek James (.366, 0 HR, 5 RBI) is called out for catcher’s interference with the bases loaded, giving the Titans a 2-1 walkoff win.
September 26 – CIN SP Trevor Corrigan (11-9, 3.80 ERA) 2-hits the Capitals in a 5-0 Cincy win.

FL Player of the Week: SAL OF Justin Kristoff (.265, 2 HR, 23 RBI), batting .529 (9-17) with 2 HR, 6 RBI
CL Player of the Week: CHA LF Ruben Esperanza (.287, 19 HR, 89 RBI), hitting .478 (11-23) with 2 HR, 5 RBI

Complaints and stuff

I made it through Johan Dolder being from Luxembourg and playing like it, and survived.

I made it through drafting Orlando Lantán who broke his knee and never recovered, and survived.

I made it through Glenn Johnston dropping Ed Parrell’s fly ball, and survived.

I made it through Raúl Castillo lasting three games for Dennis Fried’s Hall of Fame career, and survived.

I made it through Ben O’Morrissey’s treachery and a 40-win drop, and survived.

I made it through Kisho Saito voiding his last year of contract and fleeing to Japan, and survived.

I made it through Juan Diaz’ three wild pitches in one at-bat, and survived.

I made it through Keith Ayers being out at home, and survived.

I made it through Jimmy Oatmeal breaking out in Tijuana, and survived.

I made it through R.J. DeWeese waging war against his own team, and survived.

I made it through Nick Brown getting old and terrible, and survived.

I made it through Jonny Toner’s arm coming off, and survived.

I made it through Rich Hereford being snubbed for Player of the Year, and survived.

I made it through Ralph Nixon, and survived.

I made it through Raúl Herrera, and survived.

I made it through Chris Roberson, and survived.

I made it through Daniel Dickerson, and survived.

I made it through Christian Greenman, and survived.

I made it through Hugo Mendoza, and survived.

I made it through Omar Alfaro, and survived.

I made it through Travis Garrett, and survived.

I made it through Jarod Howden, and survived.

I made it through dismal 1977, and survived.

I made it through wretched 1979, and survived.

I made it through disappointing 1984, and survived.

I made it through fiery 1988, and survived.

I made it through clusterbombed 1997, and survived.

I made it through desolate 2000, and survived.

I made it through starved 2002, and survived.

I made it through pacifist 2005, and survived.

I made it through collapsing 2007, and survived.

I made it through devastating 2012, and survived.

I made it through perpetually short 2017 through 2020, and survived.

I made it through forsaken 2022, and survived.

I made it through withering 2030, and survived.

I made it through mortifying 2031, and survived.

I made it through clownish 2032, and survived.

I will make it through this, too, and will survive.

Fun Fact: The Canadiens’ high-water mark for wins in a season is 102, achieved in 1986.

(stares blankly into space)

[pgjocki]

Not going to lie, I miss Diaz and his hallucinations of where home plate was.

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk

[Westheim]

Raccoons (91-64) vs. Titans (74-81) – September 27-29, 2038

The Raccoons, who were out of it unless they won all their games, the damn Elks lost all of theirs, and then got a tie-breaker to go their way on top of that, hosted the Titans to finish off their home schedule for the year. We were up 8-6 on Boston, not that it mattered any. It hadn’t been enough. Nothing had been enough. Even Troy Greenway, who was one bomb away from setting a new franchise mark for home runs in a single season, had gone 0-for-15 in the catastrophic Crusaders series, and could not be expected to be enough for anything anymore. The Titans were fifth in runs scored, ninth in runs allowed, and had nothing left to spoil…

Projected matchups:
Steve Fidler (9-4, 2.64 ERA) vs. Andy Bressner (11-16, 3.59 ERA)
Jose de Leon (1-0, 3.00 ERA) vs. Mario Gonzalez (5-4, 3.44 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (10-11, 4.40 ERA) vs. Rich Willett (20-7, 2.71 ERA)
Raffaello Sabre (9-11, 3.58 ERA) vs. Alex Aguilar (1-5, 4.13 ERA)

Monday was a double-header after an earlier rainout. Mario Gonzalez (the only left-hander about to come up) would go on short rest, while the Raccoons would give the ball to Jose de Leon again, this time for reals. De Leon had also been appointed to make a spot start on the original rainout date.

Game 1
BOS: 3B Gil – CF J. Davis – RF M. Avila – LF W. Vega – C Dear – 1B Vadillo – 2B Santillan – SS Toney – P Bressner
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Maldonado – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Hooge – C Morales – 2B Brito – 1B Stedham – P Fidler

Troy Greenway fittingly hit into a double play to kill a Maldo & Manny on-base appearance in the bottom 1st, and Maldonado flew out to center to leave the bases loaded with Stedham, Fidler, and Ramos in the bottom 2nd. Then the Critters were up 1-0 though, with Ed Hooge having also been on base, stolen second, and had scored on Brito’s groundout. While Fidler retired Boston in order the first time through, Manny opened the bottom 3rd with a jack to right, Greenway walked to at least reach base one way or another, and a Tony Morales double and another well-placed groundout by Brito made it 3-0. The Raccoons then got a walk and a single to load the bags for Berto, who flew out to John Davis in deep center to strand another three.

Fidler made it to ten Titans retired in a row to begin the game before John Davis singled to center. Moises Avila immediately hit an RBI double into the left-center gap, putting Boston on the board, but the Raccoons countered with a Manny Fernandez RBI double in the bottom of the inning, bringing home Maldonado and his leadoff walk. Manny was stranded, though. By the sixth, Manny was a triple shy of the cycle with a bloop single into shallow center, and he would come back to the plate in the bottom 8th, then with Myers (single) and Maldo (plunk) on base against righty Sean Bastone and one out. He popped out. Greenway lined out to Jose Santillan, remaining hitless for his last 19 attempts. Jermaine Campbell then put the game away after setup work by Travis Sims. 4-1 Coons. Maldonado 2-3, BB; M. Fernandez 3-4, BB, HR, 2B, 2 RBI; Myers (PH) 1-1; Fidler 7.0 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 2 K, W (10-4) and 2-3;

The damn Elks got shoved around for 11 runs in a loss to the Indians on Monday, so this first game kept the Raccoons mathematically alive. The Raccoons would have only two returning players for the second leg of the double-header, and only Greenway would play the same position; Maldonado switched to center. The Titans only sent in a different catcher.

Game 2
BOS: 3B Gil – CF J. Davis – RF M. Avila – LF W. Vega – 1B Vadillo – 2B Santillan – C Raydon – SS Toney – P M. Gonzalez
POR: 3B Myers – 2B Vickers – CF Maldonado – RF Greenway – C Kilmer – LF Castro – SS Williams – 1B Maruyama – P de Leon

De Leon exploded for two walks, an RBI single by Avila, another walk, and Jeff Kilmer chipped in a throwing error for good measure to give the Titans a 3-0 lead in the top 1st (two runs were earned). The second began with a Mike Toney single, the runner stole second, and de Leon misfielded Gonzalez’ bunt to third base, where Toney was already brushing himself off. Antonio Gil hit a sac fly to ******* deep center, 4-0, before John Davis grounded into an inning-ending double play.

De Leon lasted five innings, allowing as many runs (four earned), while the Raccoons were held to one hit by the short-rested Gonzalez, which was just a fitting way to be eliminated mathematically – they had been eliminated spiritually quite a while ago… Kilmer hit a jack to begin the bottom 5th, which was only the Critters’ second base knock, and Alex Castro and Chiyosaku Maruyama reached base on a walk and a nailed batter as Gonzalez suddenly came apart. The Titans yanked him two outs short of qualifying for a W, with righty Chris D’Angelo replacing him just when the Coons’ #9 spot was up. Ledford pinch-hit and struck out, and Myers grounded out poorly to end the inning. The Coons went to Chris Womble, who was taken deep by Santillan to restore a 5-run gap in the top 6th, and the Raccoons refused to get on base while the Titans tacked on two against a shambles combo by Gene Tennis and Ben Feist in the eighth inning. Rich Vickers hit a single off John Simenson in the bottom 8th that sent Dave Myers and his leadoff walk to third base with nobody out. Maldonado struck out. Greenway hit a sac fly. Kilmer singled, but Castro struck out. 8-2 Titans. Kilmer 2-3, BB, HR, RBI; M. Fernandez (PH) 1-1;

(silently opens another bottle of Capt’n Coma by breaking the neck off against the couch table, then shoves the jagged rest of the neck into his snout)

Game 3
BOS: 3B Gil – CF J. Davis – RF M. Avila – LF W. Vega – C Dear – 2B Santillan – 1B B. Mendoza – SS Toney – P Willett
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Maldonado – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Hooge – C Morales – 2B Brito – 1B Stedham – P Chavez

It was 3-0 in the first again, this time with two singles, two walks, a sac fly, and another RBI single off Bernie Chavez, who would probably not be our Opening Day starter in ’39. Willett opened the second inning with a double down the line, scoring after singles by John Davis and Willie Vega. Another walk and another single brought another run home, 5-0. The Raccoons were retired in order the first time through, which included Jesse Stedham, the *******, flying out on a 3-0 pitch. And while Bernie Chavez was charged with another run on two hits in the fourth, the Raccoons got their first base hit in the bottom 4th. Manny Fernandez was on first base with a walk and two down when Troy Greenway, 0-for-23 and counting, hit a homing beacon right at Fernandez, who froze and was struck by the batted ball. Greenway was assessed a single, and Fernandez was charged an out and had received a sizable welt on his fat bum. Tony Morales hit a homer nobody cared for in the bottom 5th, just like nobody cared when Ed Hooge threw out Antonio Gil at home plate to end the top 6th, or when he did it AGAIN to Santillan in the seventh. There was hardly anybody in the ballpark except people paid to be there. The disappointment over this town was so thick that you could slice it with a knife. I could attest to it while I was bleeding from the snout. Maud tried in vain to offer a glass to me. – Leave me alone Maud, I want to drink from the broken bottle!! … Prieto gave up a run in the seventh. Davis and Avila hit back-to-back bombs off Francisco Pena in the eighth. It was all the same. 9-1 Titans.

Game 4
BOS: 3B Gil – CF J. Davis – RF M. Avila – LF W. Vega – C Dear – 1B Vadillo – 2B Santillan – SS Toney – P A. Aguilar
POR: SS Maldonado – CF Hooge – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – C Kilmer – 1B Stedham – 2B Brito – 3B Caskey – P Sabre

Sabre was not lit on fire immediately, which was such an upgrade over the last few games. He did walk Davis in the fourth, though, and Davis stole a base that allowed him to score on Vega’s 2-out single for the first run of the game, while the Raccoons’ batters had completely tuned out for the last few games and could not be expected to reach base anymore. They had one runner aboard the first time through, then landed leadoff hits by Hooge (single) and Manny (double) to begin the bottom 4th. Greenway struck out. Kilmer struck out. Stedham hit an RBI single to tie the game, but Manny Fernandez was thrown out at home plate by Moises Avila.

Aguilar left injured in the fifthinning, with right-hander Tony Rivas taking over with Brito on first base. Jon Caskey dropping a single put Critters on the corners with nobody out, at least until Caskey was caught stealing. Rivas then scored the remaining runner with a wild pitch while Sabre was looking on bewilderedly, bat over the shoulder and scratching his left fuzzy ear. The inning ended on a K and a pop. Jeff Kilmer cashed Manny with a 2-run homer to left in the bottom 6th, extending the lead to 4-1, while Sabre soldiered through seven good innings before being hit for to lead off the bottom 7th. Berto grounded out in his spot, the Raccoons didn’t score, and the next thing Sabre saw was Citriniti being used to fill the bases in the eighth inning before Prieto came in to make his win go poof with a 2-out slam served up to Avila. I scared Slappy and Honeypaws with a primal scream that nevertheless couldn’t change the Titans having taken a 5-4 lead. When Kilmer drew a leadoff walk in the bottom 8th, Stedham, the *******, hit into a double play. Dave Myers hit for Caskey and singled off Mike Hugh to begin the bottom 9th. He was also never moved off first base. 5-4 Titans. M. Fernandez 3-4, 2B; Kilmer 2-3, BB, HR, 2 RBI; Brito 2-4; Myers (PH) 1-1; Sabre 7.0 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 3 K;

Maybe that’s why Sabre can’t get a winning career record. He’s playing on a team stuffed with morons.

The damn Elks clinched their first division title since 2012 with a 7-1 win over the Indians as the Loggers also kept crumbling away.

At least not in our faces.

How consoling!

Raccoons (92-67) @ Canadiens (101-58) – October 1-3, 2038

The skinny. First in runs scored. First in runs allowed. Coons up 8-7 in the season series. Which was for the ***.

Projected matchups:
Jared Ottinger (7-8, 5.27 ERA) vs. Matt Sealock (19-7, 3.27 ERA)
Bryce Sparkes (18-7, 3.12 ERA) vs. Raymond Pearce (12-5, 4.01 ERA)
Steve Fidler (10-4, 2.57 ERA) vs. Alexander Lewis (12-10, 3.71 ERA)

Right, right, left. Not that it made much of a difference as I sat at home, holding onto Honeypaws for dear life, and just wishing for everything to be over.

Everything.

Game 1
POR: 3B Ramos – 1B Maldonado – CF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – C Morales – 2B Brito – LF Ledford – SS Williams – P Ottinger
VAN: LF A. Perez – 1B J. Lopez – RF R. Phillips – C Clemente – 2B Sprague – CF Pohl – SS Sibley – 3B Schneider – P Sealock

Ottinger nailed Johnny Lopez and Glenn Sprague in the first inning, and also walked Ryan Phillips, loading the bases before being anal-probed by Pat Pohl (2-run double) and Ross Sibley (2-run triple). So, that was Friday’s game dealt with, 4-0 in the first. Portland made up a run in the second on a Ledford double and Elijah Williams’ single, but what did any of this matter. I looked out the window, which offered a semi-obstructed view of the surrounding roofs and a bit of dark gray sky. It had gotten dark on the Raccoons.

When the third inning rolled around, Maldonado and Manny Fernandez reached base with singles off Sealock, who ran a full count against Troy Greenway, who was approaching the 1-for-30 mark in a spectacular case of the “nope, you’re not gonna”, until Sealock hung a breaking ball and Greenway parked it among some dismayed home fans wearing silly elk hats with huge plush antlers that could be made to clap in front of the head by pulling a piece of string. Nobody clapped antlers on that homer, which gave the Raccoons a new single-season franchise record with 39 and a tied ballgame. Yet, I sat motionless on the couch. I was beyond feeling joy. Beyond redemption. And beyond salvation.

The Raccoons stuck to Ottinger until he reasonably exhausted his allowable pitch count. Since the game didn’t matter anymore – nothing did, really – we took the opportunity to get some more data on perhaps our most maddening pitcher at this point. After the early explosion, the strung together five scoreless innings on three hits and a walk before reaching just over 100 pitches and being excused further exposure. He was left with a no-decision since the middle innings had been entirely scoreless. Fernandez and Greenway were aboard against Jeremy Bloedow in the seventh inning, but Morales popped out and Brito whiffed to end the inning. Bloedow hung around for the eighth. Ledford singled, and a walk was drawn by Ed Hooge, hitting for Pena. Berto dropped a ball between Jesse LeJeune and Ryan Phillips in left-center, breaking the tie with an RBI double. Maldonado walked before Natanael Abrao inherited the mess and allowed a sac fly to Fernandez. Greenway got hold of a 2-1 pitch and crashed a fastball for a 3-run homer, the first Raccoon to ever hit 40 in a season. Honeypaws’ whiskers twitched. Mine didn’t. Ed Hooge drove in Ledford with two outs in the ninth to reach double digits, like that could coax a reaction out of me at this juncture. 10-4 Raccoons. Maldonado 2-4, BB; Greenway 4-5, 2 HR, 6 RBI; Ledford 2-5, 2B; Williams 3-5, 2B, RBI; Hooge (PH) 1-1, BB, RBI;

(looks at Honeypaws)

Meh.

Don’t you shake your head on me, mister!

Game 2
POR: 3B Ramos – 1B Maldonado – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Hooge – 2B Brito – C Morales – SS Myers – P Sparkes
VAN: LF A. Perez – 1B J. Lopez – CF Outram – RF R. Phillips – C Clemente – SS Cabral – 2B Morrow – 3B Ashley – P Pearce

Berto opened the game with a walk, then stole second base. After two ineffective outs, Greenway and Hooge slapped back-to-back RBI doubles around Jerry Outram, who was a month from being named Player of the Year. Pearce walked Brito, then gave up an RBI single to Morales. Dave Myers legged out an RBI single on a confused defense’s messed-up approach to an infield roller. Sparkes, batting pennies on the dollar, struck out to end the inning with a 4-0 lead. The second inning saw a Berto double, him scoring on a Manny single, and then Greenway pumped another baseball into the midst of the antler wagglers above the rightfield fence. The ball was thrown back onto the field, but that still made it a 7-0 game on Pearce’s dead body. Not that any of this excited me. I was dead inside.

Pearce would be charged with nine runs in 2.2 innings, with Berto bringing home Myers in the third inning before Nick Lutz took over, but he gave up a triple to Maldonado right away. Manny walked, bringing up Greenway, who flew out to Phillips to end the frame. Sparkes was solid through three before giving up homers to Outram and Phillips in the fourth, reducing the lead to 9-2. Sparkes would tack on another eight outs after that, leaving with two outs and Alex Perez on second base in the seventh inning, having thrown 114 pitches, ten of them in a lengthy battle to Johnny Lopez ending in a K. Soung came in and gave up a homer to Outram, which was probably something we’d see more often through the rest of his Hall of Fame career. Phillips went back-to-back with him just like they had in the fourth inning, and suddenly it was almost a baseball game again, since the Raccoons had gone to bed and had not tacked onto their nine early runs off Pearce. Ed Hooge answered with a 3-run homer off George Barnett, plating Fernandez and Greenway (who had been walked intentionally) in the eighth. The damn Elks got only one more run off Chris Womble and David Fernandez in the ninth inning in their second waffling in as many days. 12-6 Raccoons. Ramos 2-4, BB, 2B, RBI; M. Fernandez 2-4, BB, 2B, RBI; Greenway 2-4, BB, HR, 2B, 3 RBI; Hooge 3-5, HR, 2 2B, 4 RBI; Myers 2-4, BB, RBI; Castro (PH) 1-1, 2B;

Honeypaws, I like you a lot less when you are so needlessly happy.

Stop singing.

Game 3
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Brito – RF Greenway – C Kilmer – LF M. Fernandez – CF Castro – SS Williams – 1B Vickers – P Fidler
VAN: LF A. Perez – 1B J. Lopez – CF Outram – RF R. Phillips – C Clemente – 2B Sprague – SS Cabral – 3B Ashley – P A. Lewis

This was the 1,709th major league game for Alberto Ramos, all of them with Portland. But was this the final Raccoons game for Alberto Ramos? Who knew. The outcome of the game would hardly have any implications on whether him and the Coons would sign another contract.

Jose Brito homered off Lewis in the first for a 1-0 lead. Jerry Outram countered with a 2-piece in the bottom of the inning, plating Alex Perez. Greenway answered with a solo jack in the third, again into the antler wiggler crowd that were by now mighty tired of him and his act. There was also a rain delay in the bottom of the third, after which Outram hit a 1-out double that before long led to the bases being loaded, but Ramon Cabral flew out to center to strand all the runners. The rain would cut Fidler’s outing down to five innings because he before long came apart from a command point of view. He nailed Outram in the bottom 5th, but the runner was caught stealing to end the inning, keeping the game tied. A second Brito homer (!?) off Lewis then put him in line for a W in the sixth inning, giving the Critters a 3-2 lead.

Alex Perez legged out an infield single with one out in the bottom 7th, the first Elk put on base by Travis Sims after getting in four outs. When Fernando Alba pinch-hit for Lopez, the Raccoons opted for David Fernandez, with three left-handed bats lined up now. He entered in a double switch (Maruyama for Vickers at first base), then had Perez on third base when the runner stole second and advanced on Kilmer’s errant throw. Alba struck out, setting up a staring showdown with Outram with the tying run on third and two outs. The count ran full – and then Fernandez punched Outram out, blasting him with a high fastball to end the inning. Maruyama led off the eighth with a double, which led nowhere, and in turn the damn Elks tied the game on Prieto in the eighth. Sprague singled, Cabral doubled him in, 3-3. Pat Pohl, Alex Perez, and Derek James then loaded the bases against Yeom Soung in the bottom of the ninth – and with nobody out. Outram was back at the plate, looked ready for murder, and drew ball four in a full count. Murder, he did. 4-3 Canadiens. Brito 2-3, BB, 2 HR, 2 RBI; Castro 2-4; Maruyama 1-1, 2B;

See, Honeypaws? It was all for naught.

All your euphoria was for nothing, too.

Whatever. I’m going to bed. Are you coming?

I don’t care whether it’s 4pm. This day is over.

Yes, you can lie on top. Of course. You always do.

In other news

September 28 – The Thunder’s SP Brian Frain (9-12, 3.03 ERA) spins a no-hitter against the playoff-hopeful Falcons, who draw three walks but never get a ball to fall in. The Thunder win 7-0. This is the sixth no-hitter in Thunder history, with Frain joining Alex Lindsey (2008), Brian Furst (2017, 2018), and Bryan Hanson (2020, 2023) in the record books.
September 30 – A Condors loss to the Bayhawks gives the CL South to the Falcons, who lose to the Thunder themselves. The Falcons make the playoffs for the first time since 2022.
September 30 – SAC 1B Chris Sandstrom (.259, 20 HR, 78 RBI) is likely to miss time at the start of next season, having broken his kneecap with days to go in the season.
October 1 – The Knights erase a 4-2 deficit in style in the seventh inning of their game against the Falcons, scoring a full dozen times before making three outs. Two different Falcons pitchers – Lorenzo Campos and Robby Gonzalez – each face four batters without retiring anybody. Atlanta eventually wins, 15-9.
October 2 – The Miners clinch the FL East with a game to spare, shutting out the Cyclones, 8-0, while the Blue Sox post their third straight loss against the Capitals.
October 3 – The Wolves take the FL West despite losing to the dismal Pacifics, 2-1, thanks to the Scorpions rallying for all their runs in the eighth inning of a 5-4 win over the collapsing Warriors, who finish one game out after the blow-up.
October 3 – The Loggers’ SP Carlos Padilla (18-6, 3.03 ERA) 2-hits the Titans on Closing Day, claiming the 4-0 win.

FL Hitter of the Month: PIT 1B Danny Santillano (.283, 25 HR, 109 RBI), hitting .367 with 6 HR, 24 RBI
CL Hitter of the Month: VAN OF Jerry Outram (.373, 29 HR, 107 RBI), hitting .374 with 4 HR, 15 RBI
FL Pitcher of the Month: SFW SP Tony Galligher (14-7, 3.45 ERA), hurling 4-0, 1.37 ERA, 32 K
CL Pitcher of the Month: VAN SP Eric Weitz (21-8, 2.94 ERA), tossing 5-1, 1.61 ERA, 33 K
FL Rookie of the Month: RIC RF/LF Jonathan Fleming (.253, 18 HR, 57 RBI), hitting .333 with 8 HR, 24 RBI
CL Rookie of the Month: VAN 2B Glenn Sprague (.300, 14 HR, 69 RBI), hitting .330 with 3 HR, 14 RBI

Complaints and stuff

At least we had Troy Greenway. Jeff Kilmer, Tony Morales, Manny Fernandez, and Brad Ledford hit a combined 43 dingers. Our Troy Toy alone hit 42. At least we had that.

I guess there’ll be a season next year, too.

It’s always next year, isn’t it?

Fun Fact: Between playoff appearances in 2022 and 2038, the Falcons finished in the bottom two in the CL South 14 out of 15 seasons.

The lone exception was 2036. They finished a mighty fourth at 81-81, the only time they didn’t post a losing record in the sequence of failure.

[Westheim]

2038 ABL PLAYOFFS

October baseball had arrived in the ABL, with the 24-team league having been whittled down to four clubs vying for the crown. No frequent champions would take part in this edition of the postseason.

The 102-60 Canadiens entered the postseason with the most runs scored and fewest runs allowed, as well as a +207 run differential, in the Continental League. They had led the CL in batting average, on-base percentage, starters’ ERA, and bullpen ERA, and quite few lesser categories. Jerry Outram (.377, 32 HR, 113 RBI) was the likely Player of the Year, with a capable supporting cast that included Ryan Phillips (.283, 18 HR, 97 RBI) and probable Rookie of the Year Glenn Sprague (.300, 14 HR, 69 RBI). The rotation was strong and led by Eric Weitz (21-8, 2.94 ERA) and Matt Sealock (19-7, 3.34 ERA). Tim Zimmerman had closed out 52 games. The lineup leaned quite a bit to left and that would only help them in the CLCS. They had a few injuries, mainly missing SP Corey Booth (7-2, 3.19 ERA) and MR Marcos Ochoa (3-4, 3.27 ERA, 1 SV).

Opposite them were the 84-78 Falcons, the only winning team in a lackluster CL South. They had come fourth in runs scored and second in runs allowed, but had only managed a +49 run differential, not only a quarter of the Canadiens’ mark. They were *fine* in many categories, but *fine* was not likely going to cut it. Their rotation was all right-handed, which would not mesh well with the Canadiens’ lineup. Their own lineup was mostly right-handed, and the Canadiens would bring in three righty starters. Charlotte’s pen was full of holes, and they had three outfielders on the DL, mostly missing Dave Trahan, a .285 batter. Ruben Esperanza had hit .283 with 20 homers between Topeka and Charlotte this year and was batting cleanup, supported by a few more double-digit bombers. Mike Sawyer behind the plate was hitting .278 with 19 homers. Jose Farfan chipped in 11 on a .295 clip. Towards the bottom, the lineup became soft though, and the group was also barely average on defense.

The 91-71 Pittsburgh Miners won the FL East by two games. They placed third in runs scored, but allowed the fourth-most runs, amounting to a +84 run differential. Pittsburgh came third in batting average and on-base percentage in the Federal League, but lagged behind in homers (5th) and stolen bases (dead last). Their pitching was sort of average, and consistently undermined by shaky defense. Danny Santillano (.282, 25 HR, 110 RBI) kept being the main man in the lineup at age 32, with Adrian Wade (.308, 13 HR; 84 RBI) and Kurt Wall (.290, 10 HR, 76 RBI) providing valuable support. Third baseman Omar Lastrade hit .381 in 66 games, missing most of the year with ankle and finger injuries, and kept being the worst defensive third baseman in the league. Roberto Pruneda (18-7, 3.07 ERA) and Matt Peterson (15-8, 3.06 ERA) led the rotation, but after that it god mushy fast, including all of the bullpen. The Miners entered without significant injuries.

They would face the 102-60 Wolves, who won the division on the final day of the season. They clocked in with the second-most runs in the FL, but the fewest runs conceded. Their run differential was +207, same as the Canadiens from the other end of the Pacific Northwest. The Wolves were second-worst to the Miners in stolen bases, but had led the FL with 138 homers and had the best rotation, with Phil Harrington (18-4, 1.96 ERA) remaining to be the best pitcher of his generation, and well supported and challenged by Brandon Nickerson (18-7, 2.32 ERA) – they had the top 2 ERA’s in all of the ABL. Their bullpen was also shaky and they could not source better than a 4.22 ERA for their closer Rico Sanchez, who saved 41 games. The Wolves’ offense fielded three players with 20+ homers, led by Jose Rivera (.321, 29 HR, 93 RBI), with Bill Jenkins (.289, 25 HR, 105 RBI) and Morgan Kuhlmann (.261, 21 HR, 71 RBI) not far behind, and Kyle Weinstein (.261, 19 HR, 83 RBI) narrowly missed out on the 20-club. Armando Herrera (.315, 2 HR, 79 RBI) was also an on-base threat ahead of all the power.

As indicated, this year’s playoff field did not have the richest track record in the postseason. The teams had a total of four championships between them and nobody had more playoff appearances than the Miners, who were in their 12th postseason. The Falcons were in October for the ninth time, the Canadiens for the seventh time, and the Wolves escaped a three-way tie for fewest playoff appearances (with the Loggers and Gold Sox) by making their fifth show.

The Canadiens were the only team with multiple championships in the fray, but hadn’t won since *1984* and hadn’t won their division since equally long-ago 2012. The Falcons’ only title had come in 2005, and they were in the playoffs for the first time since 2022. These two teams had met in the CLCS once, in 1982, with Vancouver prevailing on the way to their first championship. The Canadiens won the season series with the Falcons, 7-2. Reviews of the Falcons’ chances were rough, somewhere between an ice cube in Death Valley and outright zilch.

The Wolves seem to have the upper hand against the Miners in most categories, but often just by a small margin, except for the clear advantage in the rotation. If Harrington and Nickerson perform up to snuff, they should have a very good chance of making it to the World Series. The Wolves beat the Miners in the season series, 6-3. Historically, the 1989 champs from Salem and the ringless Miners had never met in the FLCS. The Wolves were the only team that also featured in the 2037 playoffs. The Miners won their division for the fifth time in the 2030s, most recently coming up short in the 2036 World Series against the Titans.

There was only one possible World Series rematch in this field; the 1982 Canadiens-Miners series, which Vancouver had won in six games.

+++

2038 LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES

CHA @ VAN … 5-9 … (Canadiens lead 1-0) … CHA Tony Aparicio 3-4, RBI; VAN Johnny Lopez 1-4, BB, HR, 4 RBI;

The Falcons enter the ninth leading, 5-4, but blow the lead even before Lopez hits a walkoff slam off Raul de la Rosa (0-1, 135.00 ERA).

PIT @ SAL … 0-2 … (Wolves lead 1-0) … SAL Phil Harrington 6.2 IP, 4 H, 0 R, 3 BB, 8 K;
CHA @ VAN … 4-5 … (Canadiens lead 2-0) … VAN Matt Sealock 7.0 IP, 3 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 3 BB, 5 K, W (1-0);

PIT @ SAL … 4-3 … (series tied 1-1) … PIT Mark Vermillion 2-4, 2B, RBI;

VAN @ CHA … 7-3 … (Canadiens lead 3-0) … VAN Johnny Lopez 2-4, BB, RBI; VAN Jerry Outram 2-5, 2 2B, RBI;

SAL @ PIT … 2-4 … (Miners lead 2-1) … SAL Bill Jenkins 3-5; PIT Mark Vermillion 4-4, HR, 2 RBI; PIT Jose Alaniz 7.0 IP, 7 H, 2 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 6 K, W (1-0);
VAN @ CHA … 3-17 … (Canadiens lead 3-1) … CHA Oscar Aguiree 2-6, 2 RBI; CHA Mike Sawyer 2-4, 2 BB; CHA Tony Aparicio 2-3, 2 RBI; CHA Jose Farfan 3-5, BB, 2B, 3 RBI; CHA Jonathan Reyna 4-5, 2 RBI;

If the Falcons had spread those riches out, they’d be in the World Series now.

SAL @ PIT … 8-3 … (series tied 2-2) … SAL Jeremy Camden 4-5; SAL Kyle Weinstein 2-5, 2B, RBI;
VAN @ CHA … 1-3 … (Canadiens lead 3-2) … CHA Jose de Lucio 8.0 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 3 BB, 5 K, W (1-0) and 2-3, 2B;

While de Lucio is the only Falcon with multiple base hits, Eric Weitz, who loses the game in six innings of 3-run ball, hits a home run for the only Canadiens offense.

SAL @ PIT … 3-2 (19) … (Wolves lead 3-2) … SAL Matt Huf 3.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 3 BB, 1 K, W (1-0) and 1-1, HR, RBI; PIT Gualter Cymbron 4.2 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 2 K;

Scoring stops after the fourth inning before Matt Huf (1-0, 0.00 ERA) in long relief breaks the tie in the 19th inning of a 5:45 game, going deep off Pat Okrasinski (0-1, 2.45 ERA).

CHA @ VAN … 2-4 (16) … (Canadiens win 4-2) … VAN Jerry Outram 2-7, HR, 2 RBI; VAN Jeremy Bloedow 5.1 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 4 K;

Outram homers off Vinny Olguin (0-1, 10.38 ERA) after nine innings of truce to send the Canadiens to the World Series.

PIT @ SAL … 3-4 (11) … (Wolves win 4-2) … PIT Mark Vermillion 3-5, HR, RBI; SAL Jose Rivera 1-2, BB, HR, RBI; SAL Bill McWhirter 2-5, 2B, RBI;

Bill McWhirter hits a leadoff double off Gualter Cymbron (0-1, 1.42 ERA), but will miss the World Series for straining his hip on the very play.

+++

2038 WORLD SERIES

In a Pacific Northwest matchup that would leave the Raccoons on the outside looking in, the Wolves were awarded home field advantage over the Canadiens. Both teams had won 102 games and posted a +207 run differential. Both had made it through the LCS in six games that had felt like seven.

While the Canadiens had not suffered additional injuries, the Wolves were now without Bill McWhirter, their starting second baseman, who had hit .249 with one homer during the season, but also knocked the Wolves into the World Series to begin with.

This was a tough series to call. Dominant pitching might give the Wolves a slight edge.

VAN @ SAL … 1-3 … (Wolves lead 1-0) … VAN Johnny Lopez 1-2, 2 BB, RBI; SAL Armando Herrera 3-4;

VAN @ SAL … 5-4 … (series tied 1-1) … VAN Jerry Outram 2-4, BB, 2B, 2 RBI; SAL Rhett West 2-3, BB, 2 2B;

Harrington (0-0, 1.40 ERA) allows three hits against 12 strikeouts while pitching into the seventh inning before the Wolves’ pen blows a 4-1 lead in the last two innings. Outram’s 2-out, 2-run double in the ninth against Rico Sanchez (0-1, 2.25 ERA, 2 SV) flips the score in Vancouver’s favor.

SAL @ VAN … 9-5 … (Wolves lead 2-1) … SAL Rhett West 3-5, 3 2B, RBI; SAL Oliver Witte (PH) 1-1, HR, 3 RBI; SAL Matt Porter (PH) 1-1, HR, 3 RBI; VAN Johnny Lopez 2-5, HR, RBI;

Brandon Nickerson (1-1, 2.25 ERA) goes six innings for the win, with six runs driven in out of the #9 hole for Salem on a pair of pinch-hit, 3-run homers. Porter’s bomb is entirely unearned after a critical throwing error by Vancouver’s Eric Morrow.

SAL @ VAN … 1-2 … (series tied 2-2) … VAN Jerry Outram 4-4, HR, 3B, 2 RBI; VAN Alexander Lewis 8.0 IP, 3 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 5 K, W (1-1);

Jerry Outram is a double shy of the cycle in dragging his team back into a tie in Game 4.

SAL @ VAN … 3-9 … (Canadiens lead 3-2) … SAL Jose Rivera 4-5, 2B; SAL Jose Castro 2-4, 2B, 2 RBI; VAN Johnny Lopez 2-4, BB, 2B, 2 RBI; VAN Glenn Sprague 2-4, BB, 2 RBI;

VAN @ SAL … 4-5 … (series tied 3-3) … SAL Jeremy Camden 1-2, BB, 2B, 2 RBI;

Harrington gets a decision with six innings of 2-run ball for the win before the Wolves’ pen almost blows another one. Jerry Outram as the tying run is stranded on second base when Ryan Phillips strikes out in the ninth inning.

Game 7 will have Brandon Nickerson (1-1, 2.25 ERA) against Matt Sealock (1-1, 3.48 ERA).

VAN @ SAL … 6-3 … (Canadiens win 4-3) … VAN Eric Morrow 3-5; VAN Fernando Alba 3-5, HR, 2B, 5 RBI; VAN Matt Sealock 7.0 IP, 6 H, 1 R, 0 ER, 1 BB, 5 K, W (2-1); SAL Armando Herrera 2-3, 2B, RBI;

+++

2038 WORLD SERIES CHAMPIONS
Vancouver Canadiens
(3rd title)

[Westheim]

(deep sigh)

Alright.

(moves paws around purposelessly)

Well, you see, it is what it is. There is … it’s the Spilled Milk Principle. There is no point in lapping it up now. (pause) … (looks over the front edge of the desk) … I *said* – there is no point in lapping it up now!! (bangs fist on table, sends Ed Hooge scurrying out of the office)

The good news was that the nightmare was over and we could all delve into the offseason with high spirits. And all the key personnel would stay with Portland – Maud was going to continue to entertain sponsors and prevent me from sticking my head through a sling, Chad would continue to drive me up the wall by wiggling the antlers on his toy elk which I was totally going to shove into one of his body openings before Christmas, scout guy was gonna keep scouting guys, Slappy would be reliably found in the same spot, and Cristiano would – … what *are* you doing here, actually, Cristiano? – No, I don’t. – I’d say you sit around all day and do very little work, but that’s already Slappy’s job… (Slappy approvingly lifts his bottle, briefly)

There was ONE departure though; Dr. Chung handed in his resignation, declaring he had been recalled to Pyongyang to head the party’s medical research facility in a secret underground bunker. – What are you researching there, Dr. Chung? – A-ha. – A-ha. – So, so. – So you test that on animals? – No? On what then? – (turns pale)

Well, we were in the market for a new trainer. Maybe this time we’ll sign one that actually cares about the players.

There was also a new budget, with our stash of Monopoly money increased to $41M this season. That was only $500k more than last year, but we also hadn’t spent nearly all of it. $2.4M were left over, so Nick Valdes used that to argue that we had a $3M budget raise. Cunning logic. – Maud, are there any certified assassins on the personnel market? – Yes, please check.

The Raccoons remained 11th in terms of budget richness. The top teams in terms of ability to throw money around were the Capitals ($52M), Blue Sox ($48.5M), Condors ($47M), Warriors ($46M), and – tied for 5th – Titans and Cyclones ($45M each).

The bottom five consisted of the Indians ($31.5M), Falcons ($30.5M), Thunder ($29.4M), Loggers ($28.2M), and Rebels ($26.2M). The missing CL North teams sat in 9th (VAN, $42.5M) and t-15th (NYC, $35M).

The average budget was $38.6M, about $650k more than a year ago (just like last year). The median budget amounted to $39.75M, which was up a swift million bucks from last season.

+++

And with that, we were in the part of the early-day offseason where we’d talk about what did and didn’t work and why everything crashed and burned and what we were trying to fix to make it all whole next year. Like every year. Well, at least this time I had the cold comfort to have had a hunch before the season – the rotation wasn’t great, I said, or something. It was *good*.

Well, it ******* wasn’t that. The Raccoons’ rotation came in third from the bottom in the Continental League, because it fell apart with great noise, a spectacle that never really stopped being marvelous for six whole months. Going back to our Opening Day rotation, Josh Weeks was purged in May, Bernie Chavez tied his worst-ever qualifying ERA (with a good helping from the defense there…), and Jared Ottinger was sent to St. Petersburg in the summer, which helped not one bit. Raffaello Sabre was decent as usual but also up-and-down as usual, levelling out at a typical Raffaello Sabre result, ERA good bit under four and a losing record… The sole bright spot was Bryce Sparkes, who entertained triple crown thoughts in July before a mediocre last dozen starts took it all away and he didn’t even finish in the top three in any category. He still easily won the team triple crown, and there wasn’t much competition at all.

That Justin Fowler deal last winter was probably among the best ones this team made in recent years. Not only did we get fire off the bench in Brad Ledford, but also Steve Fidler, who was called up after starting the year in AAA and posted a 10-4 record with a 2.61 ERA in 138 innings. Don’t get excited – he’s already 27 and this will probably have been the best we’ll ever get out of him. At least he makes the minimum.

The bullpen was solid with the usual personnel, although we’ll get back to that in a second. The offense was of course a delight, scoring 758 runs, tied for second in the CL (with the Loggers) and the fifth-most in franchise history. All the top four seasons came during the 1989-1996 dynasty. How did Daniel Hall, Vern Kinnear, and Neil Reece stack up to Manny Fernandez, Jesus Maldonado, and Troy Greenway? Well, no one of the olden guys ever hit 42 bombs for sure. Neil Reece won three Gold Gloves in centerfield, and Jesus Maldonado might win one at some point if we stop playing him at short.

Speaking of short – Dave Myers executed his player option worth $1.8M for 2039, which was not exactly something that made me all giddy inside. The porous left side of the infield (not that the right side was much better) was a big reason for our pitchers’ struggles, and because Berto couldn’t play short anymore, Myers had played short, but that had not been all that productive (-2.4 ZR) and on top of that the usually reliable .270/.370/.370 hitter had flailed away for a .246/.320/.301 slash line. Paying $1.8M to him in ’39 was akin to burning it and the Raccoons had to work something out here.

Berto was of course a free agent. His batting had been below league average for three years, and his defense in the first half of last year had drawn reviews normally reserved for snuff movies. He cost 1.6 wins with his glove and was good for 2.0 wins with his stick, making him a $2.5M, half-a-WAR player.

Now, OPS+ was flawed in one way, namely it didn’t recognize stolen bases for any sort of value. Of course Berto had seen some 600 PA and had poked 141 hits, 128 of those singles. But he had also swiped 37 bases with a success rate of 77%. Say that 80% of those steals are probably going first-to-second with no other runner aboard, and now you have turned a single into a double. If he had hit 42 rather than 12 doubles, he’d have slugged 56 points higher, and would have come out at a .694 OPS – not quite league average, but almost. Also, he was always happy to draw a walk to get on base. Cristiano also bugs me that my analysis has flaws, including some fatal to the argument I am trying to make, but – shoo! – the adults are talking now!

The Raccoons should look into trading away Dave Myers if they decide to keep Alberto Ramos, because they really need a shortstop in there… That *could* be Maldonado, but then inevitably the outfield is out of shape because, while Manny Fernandez and Ed Hooge can play center without killing you, the gaps start to open with Maldonado at short.

Berto was also a type B free agent, so compensation was available for losing him. No compensation was offered for the other three players that were on expired contracts, all relievers. Ben Feist could go for all I cared, but between Mauricio Garavito and David Fernandez we’d lose a bit too much lefty relief for my taste.

Then there were also the arbitration candidates. These were led by first-time arbitration-eligible Yeom Soung, a tender 33, who’d be pretty damn expensive, well into the seven figures. The other guys were Tony Morales, Rich Vickers, Hoogey, Maldo, and Ledford. With the exception of Vickers, they’d surely been retained. Vickers was … well, he was a second baseman, and we had Cosmo Trevino (except at those times where the DL had Cosmo Trevino…), and with the exception of 2036, when everybody was injured with the exception of Rich Vickers and he collected 459 at-bats, batting .257 with 9 homers and a 91 OPS+, Vickers always hung around the bench accumulating service time for no greater gain. He did have a knack for dramatic extra-base hits, but he also had three straight seasons of failing to reach a .700 OPS. He was probably not even solid trade bait. He was 29, a meager defender, and had a .701 OPS across 1,502 PA. Nothing to write home about.

Since Elijah Williams was an integral part in the defensive replacement scheme should Berto stick around, that would already cover all the available backup infielder spots if Vickers hung around, too. So him and Myers were likely on the way out, if we could arrange that at all.

The outfield? No notes, they were all wonderful, I wish I could hug and kiss them more often.

[Westheim]

October 28 – The Rebels acquire SP Chris “Tuba” Turner (48-48, 3.89 ERA) and $750k in cash from the Buffaloes for a prospect.
October 29 – The Raccoons trade for Pittsburgh’s SP Jose Alaniz (35-24, 3.49 ERA), leaving the Miners with 33-yr old 3B/SS Dave Myers (.280, 50 HR, 454 RBI), 2B Rich Vickers (.270, 26 HR, 176 RBI), age 29, and 22-yr old AAA OF Ivan Cantu.

+++

The Raccoons resolved their third base dilemma – partially – in the first week of the offseason when they unloaded Dave Myers’ big contract on the Miners. Alaniz was not likely to fix the rotation once and for all (he was not exactly a strikeout artiste and more of a groundballer), and he would also be on his fourth team in two years, being a bit of a wandering trophy in the Federal League up to this point. Let’s just say he was healthy competition for both a spot in the rotation and bullpen. Moving back to the pen might actually help him quite a bit here. Alaniz was arbitration-eligible and would be added to the Raccoons’ homework assignments in that regard. He had made $580k in 2038, and had a $650k estimate for ’39.

Cantu had been signed for $21k in the July IFA period a while back. The book on him was top-notch defensive centerfielder, but he had never hit much at any level and wasn’t expected to break out in the future either. He had been a top 100 prospect at #90 in 2036, but had dropped out of the ranks the year after.

That opened the door for Berto to sign an extension (if he’d be reasonable about the coins involved) and gave a chance to Elijah Williams to start at short every day. There wasn’t going to be a shortstop salvation on the free agent market, and the Raccoons already had a plus-rated defensive shortstop in Williams. And, well, somebody’s gotta hit eighth, right?

That had been the provenance of Jesse Stedham for much of the year. Stedham, almost 32, had been in town for two years, basically hitting league average at .251/.351/.373 with 23 homers and 113 RBI. You could do a lot better for a first baseman, but then again the Raccoons hadn’t had a great first baseman they’d been happy with since… uh… (scratches himself behind fuzzy ear with hindpaw) … Maud? Who was our last good first baseman? – No, I don’t know either.

By early November we cleared some arbitration cases. Ed Hooge was extended for one year for $765k, while Tony Morales got $380k.

The big one was Jesus Maldonado, though. He was a super-2 case, which was unfortunate, but the Raccoons made the most of it, inking him to a 7-year extension worth $12.4M. The first year was $800k, with the salary increasing to $2.2M each for the last four years. This was totally not going to fall on our paws!

A few more dominoes fell into place while the awards were given out in early November. The Raccoons signed a 1-year deal with David Fernandez for $555k. And they also signed a new contract with Alberto Ramos! Nobody’s going to be surprised about that one, right? How could be let Berto go!? The best thing was, Berto didn’t want to go and signed for meal money. Three years at $1.8M – *total*! He’d make only $600k per season through 2041, which would be his age 35 season. Ramos had made almost $24M in his career – where to put any additional money? And that was only salary and bonus payments from the Raccoons. That figure did not include all the dosh he made from toothpaste ads and the promotions for Shiny Fur CritterCare he had made.

Further down the road there was a 2-yr, $1.2M contract signed with Mauricio Garavito, which would keep our three-lefty pen intact, and suddenly narrowed the potential applications for Alaniz.

Who’d back up Berto? Well, Jon Caskey was *a* candidate, never mind that he was a .206 batter in the majors. He didn’t even have 100 plate appearances, though. It was always possible to flick Cosmo to third base late and get a strong defensive second baseman in, but the Raccoons had nobody fitting the latter description either. While the best second base prospect in the high minors next to Jose Brito was Jon Loyola, who would only turn 22 in January. He hit .304/.370/.489 in St. Pete this year, being promoted there in June. He hit 12 homers and 38 extra-base knocks, which was guaranteed to get you noticed. He was also a speed demon; unfortunately he was not nearly as great moving side-to-side, had very limited range, and was also clumsy. A move to first base was not possible, either, since he was of petit size and superfly weight. It was the most wicked skill set for somebody that had signed out of the Dominican for $150k in ’33, had been ranked #77 prospect in 2037, #41 in 2038, and was expected to further rise up the chart, and who was beginning to draw some interest from other teams. The Miners, f.e., would also liked him over Vickers and Cantu in the Alaniz trade.

There was also still Steve Nickas in the minors. He was somehow still only 24, and, oh, also a .216 hitter in the majors (211 PA).

Alaniz was signed for $620k a few days from the arbitration hearings, while Ledford settled for $450k. The only player left over that the Raccoons could not come to terms with was Yeom Soung, who was already 33 and needed to make bucks fast … a bit too fast for my taste. We’d have to go to arbitration with him, because we didn’t think he should make $1.7M at this point.

+++

November 8 – The Blue Sox pick up outfielder Andy Montes (.286, 56 HR, 380 RBI) from the Buffaloes for two prospects.

+++

2038 ABL AWARDS

Players of the Year: SAC RF/LF/1B Carlos Cortes (.330, 27 HR, 119 RBI) and VAN OF Jerry Outram (.377, 32 HR, 113 RBI)
Pitchers of the Year: SAL SP Phil Harrington (18-4, 1.96 ERA) and BOS SP Rich Willett (21-7, 2.66 ERA)
Rookies of the Year: SAL 1B Bill Jenkins (.289, 25 HR, 105 RBI) and VAN 2B Glenn Sprague (.300, 14 HR, 69 RBI)
Relievers of the Year: DAL CL Josh Boles (7-6, 2.71 ERA, 41 SV) and TIJ CL Steve Bailey (7-3, 2.17 ERA, 43 SV)
Platinum Sticks (FL): P SAL Eric Peck – C SFW Ethan McCullar – 1B SAL Bill Jenkins – 2B SFW Mario Colon – 3B NAS Jim Allen – SS SAC Jesus Banuelas – LF SAL Jose Rivera – CF SAL Armando Herrera – RF SAC Carlos Cortes
Platinum Sticks (CL): P TIJ Jimmy Driver – C ATL Adam Horner – 1B OCT Danny Cruz – 2B SFB Dan Schneller – 3B IND Dan Hutson – SS MIL Ted Del Vecchio – LF TIJ Justin Williams – CF VAN Jerry Outram – RF POR Troy Greenway
Gold Gloves (FL): P NAS Doug Clifford – C CIN Ricky Rodriguez – 1B SAL Bill Jenkins – 2B TOP Felix Marquez – 3B CIN Bob Cruz – SS SAL Jose Castro – LF LAP Daron Willis – CF SAL Armando Herrera – RF NAS Jon Sullivan
Gold Gloves (CL): P MIL Sal Chavez – C MIL Felipe Gomez – 1B ATL Danny Monge – 2B MIL Victor Acosta – 3B IND Dan Hutson – SS CHA Tony Aparicio – LF BOS Willie Vega – CF ATL Matt Kilgallen – RF VAN Ryan Phillips

[alexsimon99]

I find all the moves you just pulled off fascinating! How much budget did you end up clearing up with the trade and Berto accepting a discount?

[Westheim]

Originally Posted by alexsimon99

I find all the moves you just pulled off fascinating! How much budget did you end up clearing up with the trade and Berto accepting a discount?

Trading Myers and Vickers for Alaniz cleared about $1.7M, which didn't quite pay for Berto, Garavito, and David Fernandez - but almost.

We have about $2.5M of budget space available right now, but that could still change a bit at the actual free agency date.

[Westheim]

Salary arbitration with Yeom Soung went against us – but the damage was limited. The Raccoons offered $1.3M. Soung asked for $1.375M. The extra $75k are not something I will choose to lose sleep over…

+++

November 14 – The Raccoons trade for the Bayhawks’ INF Joel Hernandez (.265, 18 HR, 161 RBI), with San Francisco receiving a pair of 21-year-old AA pitchers, Carlos Garcia and Pete Boring.

+++

Being right-handed, Joel Hernandez was a perfect match with Alberto Ramos at the hot corner. He was about a league-average hitter most of the time, and also fit in neatly with a team that continued to be terror on the basepaths. The two pitchers that San Francisco received figured to be nowhere near the prospect ranks. Boring was the 2035 Nick Brown Memorial Pick, the 11th round left-hander that we usually released three years later. Garcia had been signed out of Brazil for all of $21k and could still turn into a starting pitcher, but right now he was mostly abundantly wild. We were very, very happy with that trade!

At this point, most of the focus was on straightening out the pitching staff, because we were entirely happy with our outfield and catchers. There was maybe room to bring in another first baseman, but they’d be expensive, and somebody’s gotta bat seventh, right?

But between Stedham, Cosmo, Williams, Berto around the diamond, Hernandez as backup and one of the youngsters, perhaps, as sixth infielder, we were pretty good even in the infield.

The pitching staff though – oh boy.

After the free agency date, the Raccoons had seven starting pitchers toiling on the expanded roster – Jose de Leon was not included, having already been reassigned to AAA along with Chris Womble, neither of which figured into our Opening Day plans.

There was Bryce Sparkes, who was probably going to be the Opening Day starter and thus doomed to suck in ’39, which was how things worked around here, didn’t they? Bernie Chavez and Raffaello Sabre were probably also givens. Both made $2M each and would hang around for a couple more years. I had little doubt that Bernie would recover and post another good season in 2039, because he had always been up and down, and a better defense on the infield would surely help him. His ERA had been up 119 points in ’39, but his BABIP had also gone up 40 points, so there was that.

Then it got dicey. What do expect of Steve Fidler, who was a neat surprise after being brought up in the summer. He posted the best ERA on the staff (but in only 138 innings) and had surely scratched himself out a spot in the rotation, right? He had gotten that BABIP that Bernie got in ’37 and prior years, so the defense had been tight for *some* people. (Then again, Fidler was absent while Berto was still feeling out the hot corner, but could that amount to 40 points’ difference?) His scouting report looked pedestrian. Scout Guy rated him 11/12/13, which was not something to evoke excitement. It was barely better than Ottie, and oh boy, Ottie.

Ottie had suffered from the same fate as Bernie this year, getting no D behind him and seeing his BABIP go up 35 points. Add in that he is erratic and walked 4.2/9 (up 0.6 from ’37) and the picture begins to be colored in. A shored-up defense might help Ottie, but were we ready to wait for him to come around?

Then there was Jose Alaniz, brought over in the Miners trade earlier. He was a groundballer, so he’d like to see Elijah Williams at short for sure. He was not a strikeout monster, but he figured to be a decent back-of-rotation pitcher. Both him and Ottinger had options. It was probably between one of those two for the fifth spot in the rotation unless we could snatch a strong starter on the free agent market, for which “only” $2.3M were available.

The seventh guy hanging around was Gene Tennis, who had been a complete mess in both Portland (9.88 ERA) and St. Petersburg (5.67 ERA) and was not currently a prominent factor in any calculations… A move to the bullpen was probably in the cards for him, but the Raccoons had retained all three of their lefty relievers and had no need for another one, so he’d try that adjustment in St. Petersburg. He also had one more option for 2039 (like Ottinger; Alaniz had more).

The top free agent starting pitcher was Brandon Nickerson, 35-year-old righty coming off the Wolves. He had seen a career year with a 2.32 ERA and was now asking for $25M for that. We’d pass. The Wolves had also shed lefty Eric Peck, routinely putting up mid-3 ERA values like Sabre. Peck’s homer numbers had crept up quite a bit recently, so that was a reason for concern, and he also had only two main pitches. He was labeled an “extreme flyball pitcher”, which was not that great in Portland. Next guy down that was not already 38 was Juan Garcia, Condors southpaw. He had seen his walks explode in 2038, and I wasn’t kidding with that. He walked *155* batters in 211 innings and posted a 4.42 ERA. He still dared to ask for $2.4M. He had also achieved the wicked combo of leading the league in walks right after leading the league in strikeouts (twice in a row actually). It didn’t get much better after that – so, shed salary to sign Peck and brace for impact? Best case, Peck’s like Mark Roberts in Portland, leading the league in both homers and strikeouts in the same season. Worst case, he leads it only in the former category.

And Mark Roberts himself? He appeared in 21 games in relief for the Indians this year, posting a 5.40 ERA while giving up five bombs in 28 innings. He might want to call it quits now – he turned 44 this month.

[Westheim]

Heretofore untouchable pitching prospect Nelson Moreno was a bit back and forth between Aumsville and Ham Lake this season, which in itself wasn’t bad for a 19-year-old. He made 13 starts in Aumsville, for a 6-4 record and 3.54 ERA (against a .326 BABIP). He struck out 10.5 batters per nine innings, indicating he had the level figured out. He struck out 8.5 per nine with the Panthers, but also walked 5.7/9 and had a .311 BABIP that at least didn’t help his cause. He posted a 4-9 record and 5.15 ERA in 17 starts. There was no question about his nice qualities – 96mph heat with a devastating knuckle curve that was barely hittable (but also missed a lot). The tack-on stuff still needed work, too, that being a curve and a changeup. Reviews remained rave for the #5 prospect.

Given that he had been basically free ($20k) in the 2035 July IFA period, we were happy with having him in the pipeline. Now someone buy him a cheeseburger, he’s only 170 pounds on a 6’1’’ frame.

The Raccoons were thus not willing to part with Moreno even as they were looking for a major improvement in their current rotation. Everything else was basically up for grabs – but not that kid. Not that we figured to have many ranked prospects at this point. We’d already spent ranked prospects by the shovelful in trades in the last 18 months, which had gotten us a Game 7 loss to the Blue Sox and a new franchise record for homers in a season since. No rings though.

I sniffed around the Scorpions for a while for right-hander Josh Vercher, who was a very balanced pitcher approaching a K/BB ratio of 3 and having lots of other nice qualities. The Scorpions were however completely broke and Vercher didn’t make much (under a million at least), naturally limiting talking points to Nelson Moreno, so that deal went absolutely nowhere. You couldn’t even toss in the resolutely .500 Sabre – as an example – because there was no way they could eat the money.

+++

November 22 – The Bayhawks pick up the Buffos’ 1B Salvador Ayala (.257, 25 HR, 188 RBI) for RF Bobby Hennessy (.246, 12 HR, 69 RBI) and a prospect.
November 27 – The first major free agent of the winter season signs a new contract, with 29-year-old catcher Mitch Cook (.262, 99 HR, 451 RBI) changing leagues from the Rebels to the Falcons, persuaded by a 6-year deal paying just over $26M in total.
November 27 – The Indians also sign a Federal League type A free agent, former Wolves SP Eric Peck (64-59, 3.87 ERA) for 4-yr, $10.56M.
November 28 – Undying: 44-year-old RF Pablo Sanchez (.340, 162 HR, 1,680 RBI) inks a $1.48M deal for 2039 with the Warriors.
November 28 – Left-handed closer John Hennessy (25-18, 3.05 ERA, 66 SV), coming off the Gold Sox, joins the Crusaders on a 3-yr, $4.76M contract.
December 1 – Rule 5 draft: 15 players are selected in total. The Raccoons lose 22-yr old AA/AAA MR Zack Kelly to the Scorpions.
December 3 – Boston adds former Miners CF Mark Vermillion (.289, 90 HR, 518 RBI) with a 7-yr, $23.88M commitment.
December 3 – The Miners sign ex-DAL C Danny Zarate (.263, 169 HR, 844 RBI). The 35-year-old backstop signs for $8.72M over two years.
December 4 – Sioux Falls adds Cincy’s ex-closer Seth Odum (82-89, 3.09 ERA, 368 SV) for 2-yr, $3.44M as well as ex-IND 1B Brent Rempfer (.251, 132 HR, 487 RBI) for one year and $2.12M.

+++

The Raccoons locked themselves out from the rule 5 draft by filling the only available spot on the 40-man roster with AA southpaw Angelo Montano prior to the draft. I was bold enough to exclaim that our roster was too good and our holes too elaborate to be filled by a random 24-year-old afterthought. We had guys like that ourselves; isn’t that right, Steve Nickas? – When did you turn 25? – That’s not on my cue card here. – Maud? Maud! – When did Nickas turn 25? – See, Steve, even Maud doesn’t think you’re important enough to go into my birthday calendar. – Well, for example, on November 28 I have in there Ed Knopf, who owns three chicken drumstick frieries in town.

Kelly had been our 2035 fourth-rounder. The stuff on the kid was very much alright, but he had major control problems, even for a 22-year-old left-hander, and I wasn’t sure yet that we’d lost him forever.

The only addition the Raccoons had to show off in the run-up to the Winter Meetings was a 22-year-old Cuban lefty that had been washed ashore in the fall. Carlos Cabello had none too impressive stuff and little in terms of control, but he signed a minor league deal and would be assigned to Aumsville.

Former Raccoons with new tree holes? Ross Sibley had been a free agent but re-signed with the damn Elks for 2-yr, $2.56M; the Wolves made out a 2-yr, $1.82M deal to Pat Okrasinski;

Finally, there’s a Hall of Fame ballot out. Spot the former Raccoon who was not named Player of the Year for which I am to this day and forever mad about a certain Condors third baseman.

[Questdog]

Originally Posted by Westheim

Finally, there’s a Hall of Fame ballot out. Spot the former Raccoon who was not named Player of the Year for which I am to this day and forever mad about a certain Condors third baseman.

Well, I love puzzles! And especially those Where's Waldo books! But since there seems to be only one player on the ballot who ever played for the Raccoons, it was disappointingly very easy to spot him.....

[Westheim]

This was not supposed to be the extent of the next update, but there’s only so much running head-first into a wall I can do in a day… I didn’t know what else to do and I apologize for the lackluster offseason performance…

+++

The search for more starting pitching continued as the Winter Meetings approached.

The Capitals soon materialized as a team with several candidates, of which I liked 28-year-old Jerry Banda, a right-hander, the most. He had won a strikeout crown in his sophomore season (2036) and had whiffed 200 batters twice in four years in the majors. He was also already signed through 2044.

With that, the problems started. Not that the Caps weren’t willing to talk – they were even open to talks; they had more capable starting pitching than they could fit, but gaping holes in other areas. The problem was that those problems were some we were reluctant to fill, f.e. leaving them with a spanking shiny new centerfielder in Jesus Maldonado.

They also had a lot of contract bids out and had limited money to play with ahead of the Winter Meetings. The Raccoons had to try to tie a neat package of prospects (boo! hiss!) or eat some salary to maybe sneak something more expensive into the deal. Banda himself would make only $1.1M in 2039, so he was hardly any help. There were really only one big and useless contract on the Caps, though, and that was right-hander Johnny Nelson’s. The 36-year-old had won 18 gams with a 3.83 ERA and had turned that into five years and $12.4M after the 2035 season. Since then he’d won 15 games total and had pitched only 280 innings in three seasons. He was clearly over the hill and could at best be used for long relief. The good news was that only the 2039 season was guaranteed anymore – yet steep at $2.56M – and that 2040 was contingent on vesting option criteria he’d never meet. And I groaned as loud as I could and then offered to take on that contract while we were still fighting over our side of the deal – but to anybody’s surprise, Nelson (a career Capital) invoked his veteran’s 10/5 rights, vetoed a deal, and was out of the equation.

Well, there was also Francisco Colmenarez, who was an entirely different type of bad contract. He was assured another $12.3M over three years, and was really not more than a fifth starter. The Raccoons had fifth starter types enough, and didn’t need another one, let alone one making as much as the rest of the rotation combined.

There was nothing else in terms of big contracts that worked out for us, and with that we were back to prospects on our side. Invariably this steered the conversation to Nelson Moreno, and also Jon Loyola, 21 years old and already at AAA. He had hit .304/.370/.489 there this year (as mentioned earlier) and looked like a future big league thing. He was the flyweight second baseman that was going to be blocked by Cosmo Trevino, because Cosmo wasn’t going to fill in at short and had nowhere else to go, either. Third base was something Loyola had played in the minors, but his arm wasn’t up to snuff and everybody knew it. He was a #41 prospect that we didn’t know what to do with, and the Caps were keen on him.

Nope, I didn’t want to. It … I couldn’t pull the trigger. The next day the Caps binged millions on another starting pitcher (Brandon Nickerson) when I had no ******* clue what they needed even more of them for.

+++

December 7 – The Capitals sign ex-SAL SP Brandon Nickerson (142-129, 3.60 ERA) for 3-yr, $13.68M.
December 7 – 35-year-old ex-Warriors right-hander Zach Warner (101-89, 3.70 ERA) winds up with a 3-yr, $8.8M contract issued by the Condors.

+++

I don’t know. I mean, they’d always take Moreno. – Yes, Cristiano, I know, that makes even less sense.

None of this makes any sense. (crosses out names on a list with a thick pink marker) We have to go back to square one, because none of this makes any sense. – Yes, Maud, I’d gladly take a snack. – (dives his paw into the bowl with crawling worms)

Maybe if we instead trade for Alfredo Vargas, the Caps will let go of Maldonado, Moreno, or Loy–… Cristiano, may I ask why you’re feeding Slappy with your toenail clippings? – Stop it, it’s disgusting! – No, I don’t wanna– … (Chad comes through the door to Maud’s room, wearing the Coons mascot costume from the neck down, but with a moosehead on top)

(SCREAMS) – (Chad, Cristiano, Slappy, and Maud are all laughing)

- ! -

(screams while awaking in the dark office late at night) What the …??? What happened?? … Where is everybody?? Did we make a trade?? … I don’t assume we did. (glances to the far wall where there’s a sample of a giveaway from a few years ago, a Raccoons-styled clock for kids under 12 with glow-in-the-dark hands) … Looks like it’s almost 3am.

Maybe we should go home, Honeypaws. – No, I don’t think the Caps’ GM will be happy when I call at this hour.

Or you know what, Honeypaws. Let’s just roll up on the couch. – I agree, it’s so late as to be early. – (grabs Honeypaws and traipses over to the couch without making light, knowing approximately where to step and where there might still be jagged shards of broken bottles)

Honeypaws, you feel weird. What’s with your fur? – Where are your whiskers? – What’s that on your head? – (fumbles in the dark) – Weird. (flicks the light next to the couch on – Honeypaws turns out to be Chad’s toy Elk with the wiggling antlers)

(SCREAMS) – (out of every corner, one of Chad, Cristiano, Slappy, and Maud step or roll forth, all wearing a moosehead) – (SCREAMS LIKE A FOUR-YEAR-OLD GIRL)

- ! -

(screams while awaking in the dark office) Mother I promise I didn’t eat from the cookie ja– (jumps up and immediately reaches for the nearest light) Honeypaws, oh thank god, you’re a raccoon again! (picks up the toy critter and hugs him dearly) Oh, I had the worst of all dreams! – I agree, no more linoleum polish before my afternoon nap! But now let’s go before everybody’s wearing mooseheads again!!

(grabs Honeypaws and dashes for the door, leaving Slappy sitting on the brown couch, blinking bewildered)

[Westheim]

The Winter Meetings came …

+++

December 9 – The Capitals send SP Alfredo Vargas (111-88, 4.12 ERA) and $1.65M in cash to the Wolves for outfielder Tony Romero (.221, 23 HR, 105 RBI) and #32 prospect 3B/2B Quadir Randle.
December 9 – Infrequent closer for the Knights, Roland Warner (55-47, 3.11 ERA, 118 SV) joins the Capitals for 3-yr, $7.08M.
December 9 – Former Knights CL Robbie Peel (43-38, 3.62 ERA, 134 SV) inks a 3-yr, $4.86M deal with the Miners.
December 9 – The Wolves grab ex-SFW CL Chris Henry (47-60, 3.41 ERA, 259 SV) for 2-yr, $4.72M.
December 9 – RF/LF Lorenzo Celaya (.313, 50 HR, 354 RBI), 28, who aimlessly meandered through the Thunder and Aces rosters in 2038, is traded with $1.36M in cash to the Knights for two prospects.
December 10 – The Wolves add 34-yr old 3B/SS Bob Zeltser (.292, 96 HR, 599 RBI) on a 1-yr, $810k deal.
December 10 – Salem also grabs LF/RF Jimmy Wallace (.287, 101 HR, 556 RBI) from the Titans, who get 1B Jose Garcia (.264, 14 HR, 100 RBI) and a prospect.
December 11 – The Condors get 26-year-old SP Edward Flinn (30-30, 4.02 ERA) from the Scorpions for #59 prospect SP Andy Mejia.
December 11 – Milwaukee acquires SP Joe Feltman (38-48, 4.47 ERA) from the Crusaders, along with cash, for two prospects.
December 12 – The Condors pick up 28-year-old C/1B Mike Sawyer (.274, 23 HR, 112 RBI) from the Falcons, parting with 39-year-old SP Jose Lerma (244-217, 3.44 ERA).
December 13 – The Miners deal LF/CF/2B Chris Russell (.278, 68 HR, 401 RBI), who is 29, to the Crusaders for SP/MR Tony Fuentes (56-94, 4.53 ERA, 25 SV) and #96 prospect CL Scott Holton.
December 14 – New York deals again, this time 2B Tony Lira (.195, 8 HR, 45 RBI) and a prospect for the Blue Sox’ LF/RF/1B Tom Rudd (.276, 9 HR, 57 RBI, who was a 26-year-old rookie in ’38.
December 20 – Former Loggers CL Alex Banderas (26-43, 4.02 ERA, 192 SV) takes a 3-yr, $3.96M contract offered by the Indians.

+++

…and went without the Raccoons making progress of any sort. The Capitals let me know that I knew the conditions that would get us Banda. The Titans and Rich Willett? Pretty much the same (Moreno, preferably). The Bayhawks for one lousy year of Josh Lous- Long? Still the same.

Thus, the offseason unraveled and this latest edition of a perpetually short Raccoons team did, too. Without more starting pitching we would not be able to overcome the damn Elks. We needed to find eight games’ worth of overcoming, and it couldn’t all come just from putting a capable defender at short.

With no top-echelon free agent starting pitchers out there, and no improvement over Bernie Chavez and Raffaello Sabre – the sort of pitcher the Raccoons keyed on only to get burned – available without selling the last two piglets on the farm, it was all over. All there was left to do was come second or third to the damn Elks another time or two, then have it all tumbled into the usual early-decade ditch to rebuild from there, slowly and painfully.

At least we’d still have Gene Tennis and Jared Ottinger around to carry the heavy workload then…

[Westheim]

No, Maud, I don’t want to eat my banana! – No, I don’t wanna! – No, I don’t wanna! – I don’t care whether Hoogey is eating his like a good boy… Hoogey eats everything! (points to Ed Hooge trying to stuff a shoe into his snout) … I don’t wanna eat my banana!

Meet our new team doctor, Dr. Padilla. He has qualifications and … stuff. I don’t know, they all look the same to me. And he always looks the same way at me. Reserved, with a streak of disgust.

What is it, Maud? – No, I don’t wanna!

There it is, now Maud is talking to Dr. Padilla again about me being not a good boy. Those two began sticking their heads together as soon as Padilla walked in here! – What is it, Dr. Padilla? – If I keep being stubborn, I’ll be sedated for the next two weeks? – (looks at calendar) – That takes out the holidays. Who wants to be awake for *that*??

(bangs both fists on the desk, making the banana bounce) I AM NOT GOING TO EAT MY BANANA!!

+++

December 23 – The Warriors take on a top closer in ex-Miner Andy Hyden (48-48, 2.92 ERA, 340 SV). The 32-year-old right-hander signs for 3-yr, $9.96M.
December 23 – Ex-Miner C Kurt Wall (.285, 54 HR, 408 RBI) returns to the Continental League with a 2-yr, $4.88M contract signed with the Condors.
December 26 – 38-year-old 3B/2B Rhett West (.251, 140 HR, 961 RBI) comes back to Tijuana after two years in the Federal League, signing a $2.08M deal for ’39.
December 26 – Barely younger, 37-year-old LF/RF Ken Gibbs (.272, 116 HR, 534 RBI) comes back to the Cyclones for $2.4M after one year with the Capitals.
December 27 – The Raccoons announce the addition of almost-32-years-old 1B/C Danny Monge (.301, 55 HR, 377 RBI) on a 2-yr, $3.4M contract. Monge was with the Knights in 2038.
December 28 – Former Indians CL Tim Thweatt (.38-35, 3.17 ERA, 194 SV) joins the Bayhawks for 3-yr, $10M.
December 30 – Back to the Capitals it is for INF/LF Adam Crabb (.265, 40 HR, 305 RBI), who returns to Washington after two seasons with the Cyclones. Crabb signs a 3-yr, $5.76M contract.

+++

Then it was suddenly January and I didn’t quite know what had happened, but apparently Dr. Padilla had indeed the good stuff in his brown leather bag.

The Hyden signing changed ownership of next year’s #16 pick for the third time this winter. It had originated with the Capitals and had now made it through the Wolves and Warriors to the Miners, who also got the #14 pick two days before Christmas. They had signed their own #19 pick away earlier, which had gone to the Stars. The Raccoons’ #20 pick was still theirs, as well as just about ALL their problems. More problems, actually, than before since we were now also drowning in first basemen. The idea had always been that Stedham would be traded and I assumed him gone when I sent my henchmen after Monge, who was also a valid third-string catcher if things went pear-shaped, so we could get a bit more aggressive in terms of pinch-hitting with catchers.

So what to do with Jesse Stedham?

What’s this, Cristiano? – I see that it is a business card. – “Lucca’s Construction and Disposal”? I don’t wanna build a house for Stedham! – Oooooh, *disposal* …!

+++

January 5 – The Raccoons send five players and $1M in cash to the Rebels. The package includes 1B/RF/3B Jesse Stedham (.271, 101 HR, 533 RBI), MR Yeom Soung (13-13, 1.81 ERA, 68 SV), SP/MR Gene Tennis (5-6, 4.92 ERA), #41 prospect AAA 2B/3B Jon Loyola, and A LF/RF Ernesto Hernandez. In return the Raccoons get SP Ryan Bedrosian (48-45, 4.03 ERA) and 2B/SS Alex Majano (.306, 29 HR, 690 RBI).

+++

I know. I know. Gene Tennis – we barely knew him!

This trade *started* as a Rebels offer way before the holidays, a salary dump of Majano. He’s the only thing that remains from their original offer, which was invariably for Nelson Moreno in some convoluted fashion or other. Maud; was it the Indians or the Gold Sox who offered us that token right-hander and the Bent Pyramid for Moreno? – And we thought it was a good deal, because, come on, an ancient pyramid next to the ballpark! – And then we found out it was actually a hermit’s shack built out of corrugated metal and bubblegum in Colorado, near the unincorporated place of Bent?

Majano also remains in the trade as ballast that threatens to dishevel the whole thing. Think about him as somewhere between Cosmo and Berto where it comes to application. He bats righty, but only plays up the middle. He also won a Gold Glove, a VERY LONG TIME AGO. He can also still steal bases, but to be fair I don’t know what to do with him. Also note that the salary dump of Majano ended up with us sending *them* cash.

All the effort, including one of the best relievers in the game and the #41 prospect (!!), for Ryan Bedrosian. Who’s Bedrosian? Probably the best pitcher you never heard of. He was the #2 pick in 2032 out of college and stuck in the majors by ’35. He had a few control issues that took longer to iron out than appreciable, including walking *147* in ’37, but the number was already well down this season. Instead he lead the league in strikeouts. I like a guy like that. He’s also a groundballer, which will make us look even worse in the field. He’s never pitched to an ERA better than 3.80, but everybody is feverishly agreeing with me that he’s totally gonna break out this season. OH, HE BETTER.

Raffaello Sabre, Jose Alaniz, Jeff Kilmer, and AAA outfielder Corey Cronk were all names that also went in and out of the package. None of them made Nelson Moreno redundant, though.

Cosmo, you know that you’re gonna have to play until you’re a ******* 45, right? Because we sent a kid away half your age, ho-hum, because, oh well, we’ve got Cosmo. – You know that, Cosmo, right? Right? – Would you please at least nod while you keep putting cookies in your snout!?

I know, I know. Then the crumbs fall out … (slumps deeper into the brown couch)

+++

The Hall of Fame had two new inhabitants by January.

One of them would be Errol Spears, a catcher for two decades that won pretty much everything – a Rookie of the Year title with the 2009 Pacifics, a Gold Glove, two Platinum Sticks, and four championship rings, also all with the Pacifics (2011, 2012, 2016, 2027). There were several intermittent station on his ABL journey, and he was usually Mr. Reliable, starting up to 146 games a season and batting .280 with 15 homers. He never led the league in a batting category, but as a steady squirrel amassed 2,049 hits with a .284/.367/.437 clip and 195 homers and 1,139 RBI.

Titans right-hander Chris Klein came close to a triple crown in 2022, a season in which he won about everything, including his only Pitcher of the Year title and the championship with Boston. Two more rings followed right afterwards while Klein was one of the more dominating pitchers in the game. he also went for mileage, leading the CL in innings pitched six times in an 8-year span, which after a while took its toll and his arm came off in his early 30s. After eight dominant years in Boston and the three rings, he began to slip soon after moving to arch rivals New York, and by age 34 was out of the game after 13 seasons. He pitched to a 171-132 record with a 3.39 ERA and one save. He struck out 2,147 in 2.771 career innings.

Complete voting results:

LAP C Errol Spears – 7th – 82.0 – INDUCTED
BOS SP Chris Klein – 5th – 76.1 – INDUCTED
MIL SP Chris Sinkhorn – 1st – 71.9
CIN 3B Eddie Moreno – 4th – 48.0
SFW SS Jamie Wilson – 4th – 44.0
??? CL Jarrod Morrison – 7th – 21.7
BOS C Keith Leonard – 1st – 14.1
??? SP Ernest Green – 6th – 10.4
TOP CL Mike Baker – 2nd – 10.1
SFW RF Justin Quinn – 1st – 8.9
??? SP Ian Van Meter – 7th – 8.6
TIJ SP Luis Flores – 1st – 8.0
NAS C Pat Walston – 8th – 6.1
OCT 2B Emilio Farias – 6th – 4.0 – DROPPED
PIT CL Mike Greene – 1st – 2.4 – DROPPED
MIL CF Ian Coleman – 2nd – 2.1 – DROPPED
CHA 2B Matt Good – 3rd – 2.1 – DROPPED
??? CL Steve Casey – 1st – 0.6 – DROPPED
DEN 3B Rich Hereford – 1st – 0.3 – DROPPED
MIL SP Ian Prevost – 2nd – 0.0 – DROPPED

[Bub13]

Disappointed there won't be a "Raccoons Get Bent" headline in the local rag.

[Westheim]

Much of January was then spent trying to get something else for Alex Majano, who unfortunately had little trade value due to sagging results and that big bill to pay in 2039.

The Raccoons had their pitching together, with a rotation of Sparkes, Bedrosian, Bernie Chavez, Sabre, and Fidler. The pen had five fixed components in Campbell, Garavito, David Fernandez, Prieto, and Citriniti. That left two spots open – we could either stuff a natural reliever in there (Sims, Pena) or a sixth starter as long man (Alaniz, Ottinger). Jose Alaniz was the only left-hander in this group, and apart from that Garavito and Fernandez were the only southpaws on staff. The rotation was entirely right-handed.

Catching and outfield were of course done – no changes from last year, we were entirely confident with what we had there.

The real mess was the infield. After the big trade the Raccoons had a new starting first baseman in Danny Monge (third-string catcher, too, although he had not caught games regularly since ’35 and was also not very good at it, but it wasn’t like we’d take playing time away from Kilmer and Morales intentionally – he was an *option* and options are great to have). Cosmo at second and Berto at third were givens. Short was the trouble position. Unfortunately Majano and Elijah Williams were both right-handers. Unfortunatelier, Majano had posted an even lower OPS than Williams (by 20 points) in ’38. Williams was clearly superior defensively (and somebody’s gotta bat eighth), so why would we put Majano there?

Boy, are we full of it – putting a guy making almost $2M on the bench for pinch-running duties!

Joel Hernandez was the sixth infielder, backing up Berto. That left all the remaining younger guys (Caskey, Brito) on the outside looking in.

+++

January 21 – The Condors give $3.32M to 40-year-old lefty Bryce Neal (76-77, 3.74 ERA) for a 1-year contract.

+++

Tim Stalker joins the Rebels for $468k; Fernando Garcia gets $700k from the Wolves;