Yet Another OOTP6 Dynasty: The Pale Hose

[Vris]

Glad to see you back Craig. Hope to hear more plight of the Sox soon!

[cknox0723]

well, after two weeks or thereabouts, i'm finally back on the internet for good, and with me come the pale hose. expect a couple thousand updates over the next day or two or week or so. could take a while to get caught up and make sense of it all, but i'll give it a shot.

and no, i haven't decided to turn into e.e. cummings and not capitalize anything...but once in a while, why not?

[Vris]

Hey, I knew I was missing something! Glad to see your triumphant return! Always anxious to see how the Sox are faring!

[cknox0723]

Well, I was going to use a post to get re-caught up on everything, but apparently there is (was) an off day. So here goes something...

While we sit on our hands, pondering the banality of our .333 winning percentage, Randy Wolf retired twenty-seven batters before allowing a hit -- yet his horrible, horrible team also fired up blanks, so to speak. So the game headed to extra innings...and lo and behold, Jose Macias led off the top of the tenth with a base-hit to right-center, turning Wolf into yet another Harvey Haddix. That gave way to the 'pen, and after Jason Phillips And His Stylish Goggles sacrificed, the trio of outfielders came up. Clifford The Big Blue Floyd was walking intentionally, and stathead darling Mike Cameron came through with a base hit off of Frankie Cordero that would ultimately be the difference. And instead of a small footnote in history, Randy Wolf's got something that we're awfully familiar with - a big, fat 'L'.

Some other notable headlines since that fateful night...June 1st, that is.

HINKSI! HINKSI, DAMN IT!

Eric Hinske may be a bust there ear, but on June ninth, his had was fine and he hit for the cycle. Normally, I'd launch into some spiel about how the Hinksis of the world are most likely to hit for the cycle, since the speedy guy who hits a lot of triples (see Crawford, Carl) usually doesn't have much power...but I'm not entirely sure. An interesting question, I guess. Perhaps I'll look into it a bit.

WHAT ARE THEY PUTTING IN THE PUDDING?

In the last two weeks, Derek Lowe, Mark Mulder, Kelvim Escobar, and Adam Eaton have all gone down with significant injuries - the latter two unlikely to pitch again this season. No conspiracy theories, no grand philosophical statement, only the thought of TINSTAAP - there's no such thing as a pitcher. Period. Chris Scarborough, duck and cover. Please.

SPEAKING OF NEIL SIMON...

The Scarborough Watch... - 3 GS, 22 IP, 13 H, 7 R, 4 ER, 3 BB, 23 K, 1-2 record, 1.64 ERA, 0.73 WHIP

Butner's Backers (doesn't quite have the ring of Bucky's Backers ) - 5 G, 5 saves, 5.1 IP, 2 H, 3 BB, 5 K, 0.00 ERA, 0.94 WHIP

Some new standings, probably more interesting were we not in our position. But we've got to pass some time before reaching our goal, or something like that.

AL CENTRAL STANDINGS AFTER 6/12/2006

Kansas City Royals.......34-29 (.540, -- GB)
Cleveland Indians........35-30 (.538, -- GB)
Minnesota Twins..........32-32 (.500, 2.5 GB)
Detroit Tigers...........27-37 (.422, 7.5 GB, won five in a row)
Chicago White Sox........21-42 (.333, 13 GB, lost four)

The other division races...

AL EAST

The Evil Empire..........43-21 (.672, -- GB)
The Proud Massh*les......33-31 (.516, 10 GB)

Guess that's not really a race...fine, here's one:

AL WEST

The Scurvy Sailors.......45-18 (.714, -- GB)
The Tanned Halos.........40-25 (.615, 6 GB)
The Spur-Wearing Lawmen..39-26 (.600, 7 GB)

That's the only league that really matters...as for its snooty older brother:

NL EAST

The Metropolitans..........38-25 (.603, -- GB)
The Cursed Phillies........31-31 (.500, 6.5 GB)
The Florida "Trade Bait"...30-32 (.484, 7.5 GB)

NL CENTRAL

Ugh...From the Other Part of Town..41-20 (.672, -- GB)
It Makes A Fella Proud To Be One...32-28 (.533, 8.5 GB)
The Big Machine of Joe Morgan......31-30 (.508, 10 GB)

NL WEST

Blueblooded...............43-20 (.683, -- GB)
The Plan: Hit Home Runs...36-27 (.571, 7 GB)

OK, so there aren't any real races, per se, especially for the purists. All the more reason to focus solely on the Pale Hose!

[cknox0723]

"Home...yeah, it's always there when you run...away from it all, you're alone...but there's always home."

Can't think of a better to kick off a six day interdivision homestand than with Mark Buerhle on the mound. It's even nicer that it's our last series of the season with Kansas City (and before you shout 'unrealistic!', check the Yankees' schedule from this year), especially since the team that I frequently disparage has won 9 out of 16 against us.

Today, even with Buerhle on the mound, the Regal Ones have a good shot to add to that, since Carl Pavano will take the ball for 'em. He's a decent pitcher in his own right, and he's had three excellent starts against us, an aggregate of nineteen and a third innings and three runs. Still...it's the Royals. They're not any good. They're really not. I'm serious.

Buerhle has little trouble with the hacking duo of Rich Thompson and Henry Mateo at the top of the order, but Mike Sweeney draws a walk and Marty Cordova lines a single over Julio Lugo's head. But David Bell clangs the next pitch to left, an easy pop up for D.Y., and that's another example of Buerhle's "stuff", I guess.

Pavano needs all of seven pitches to get through the top of our order in the bottom of the inning, but Buerhle follows with a perfect inning of his own, mostly due to the fortuitousness of a couple of line drives and No Arm Shanks's inability to hit a major league fastball.

Much like a chess match, the Royals' right-handed moundsman counters, though, and Miggy Olivo hits into a 'round-the-horn double play to erase Joe Borchard's walk and the inning all at once. Buerhle toys with the ignominious trio of Pavano, Thompson, and Mateo in the top of the third, and this is starting to take the form of a pitcher's duel, in all of its beauty. After we fail to capitalize on a rare hit by Julio Lugo in the bottom half of that frame, it's readily obvious that the first to one is probably going to win.

And Buerhle commences the fourth by striking out Mike Sweeney on three pitches, the final one a filthy slider that the first sacker can only gape at as it breaks right over the outside half. The guts of the order, Cordova and Ding-Dong Bell, go down quickly after that and we've got D.Y., Mags, and Brad Fullmer coming up. Time to get to 1!!111!

And we start off the inning with a baserunner as D.Y. singles to right, but Mags hits into a 4-6 force and even after a Brad Fullmer walk, it seems as though a magic eight-ball would say something like to check back next Tuesday. Ignoring my gut, I pass up the double-steal and let our guys hack, but Beet Soup and The Olive both hit middling, meddling, maddening fly balls. Zip-zip.

A dismayed Buerhle surrenders a leadoff hit to The Card-Carrying Utilityman to start the fifth, and Kevin Mench uses his ol' noggin to work out of a 1-2 hole and eventually hit a hard shot to third that Enrique Wilson can't handle. But James Shanks can't get a sacrifice down, leaving Pavano to do the job himself. He does, but with two outs and two men in scoring position, left-handed Rich Thompson can only muster but a fly ball against fellow southpaw Buerhle, and it stays scoreless. Pavano retires our seven, eight, and nine hitters without a problem, and it's zeroes going into the sixth.

Buerhle gives up a leadoff walk to Henry Mateo to start the sixth, and my worst fear aside from a dugout 200 feet in the air materializes when he steals second on the next pitch. But I'd trade a hundred stolen bases to get the next pitch back, for Mike Sweeney puts it into the right-center field bleachers for his fifteenth quadrangle of the year. The Buerhle One, as is usually the case, settles down after that and escapes the inning, but two runs seems a hard proposition when we can't get one.

Ramon Vazquez gets jobbed on a bang-bang play at first to start the sixth, but I keep my cool. So, too, does Pavano, thanks to the friendly umpiring, and we don't threaten. We've got nine outs left and we need three runs. Those aren't particularly good odds.

James Shanks leads off the seventh with a double into the left field corner, and the situation grows worse as Eric Owens drops down a picture-perfect bunt and beats the throw to first, to the surprise of everyone except, perhaps, Kevin Towers. Brandon Phillips follows as the second consecutive pinch-hitter, and he brings home Shanks, but at the cost of two outs. Mateo flies out to end the inning, but now it's three-zip.

Shawn Camp packs us up pretty nicely in the seventh, and a fading Buerhle gets himself into trouble in the eighth, but the percentages work out well and Kiko Calero fans The Swollen Head and gets The Slot Machine to bounce out to duck out of a bases loaded jam. Camp stifles us again, though, and P.J. Bevis's typical solid work in the ninth goes for nothing as Brian Schmack does his thudding thing once again. I think it's time to make a move, since, that's, like, 80 losses in a row dating back two weeks. Now that's a long losing streak!

KC 3 CHW 0

WP: C. Pavano (4-3) - 6 IP, 2 H, 0 R
LP: M. Buerhle (7-5) - 7.1 IP, 7 H, 3 R
S: B. Schmack (14)

Game Ball Goes To... On A Vap or Ye Neews, in Da Vinci-speak. We really have trouble with mediocre right-handers, it seems. One hell of a problem to have.

[Vris]

Strong outing by Buerhle, no doubt. I'd take an outing like that 7 days a week and twice on Sundays. It's just too bad that, again, it's your sputtering offense that can't rake together a run or 2 to make Buerhle look good.

On a good note, it is good to see this thread where it belongs: on the top of page 1 in big bold lettering.

[cknox0723]

Originally Posted by Vris

Strong outing by Buerhle, no doubt. I'd take an outing like that 7 days a week and twice on Sundays. It's just too bad that, again, it's your sputtering offense that can't rake together a run or 2 to make Buerhle look good.

On a good note, it is good to see this thread where it belongs: on the top of page 1 in big bold lettering.

Ah, offense. Comes and goes. In spurts, I guess.

I'm glad to see the thread back up top, too. I always have had delusions of grandeur, you know.

[canadiancreed]

I've been reading this thread and the writing style is very reminisent of how I would write; witty, sarcastic, and no holds barred.

As for your offense, it coudl be worse. I've found that offenses are easier to fix than pitching. Pitchign seems to take forever to find someoen that you dont ahve to chug peto-bismol by the gallon to watch.

[cknox0723]

Originally Posted by canadiancreed

I've been reading this thread and the writing style is very reminisent of how I would write; witty, sarcastic, and no holds barred.

As for your offense, it coudl be worse. I've found that offenses are easier to fix than pitching. Pitchign seems to take forever to find someoen that you dont ahve to chug peto-bismol by the gallon to watch.

Muchos gracias, señor. I have tried to have fun with this. Halfway into the first year, I still am, even as the team's completely flamed out, so I've succeeded in that regard. Don't know about the wit and sarcasm, but I give it a shot.

And I agree with your second point...offense does seem easier to build, just because there are often easy ways of scraping together effective role players, whether it be trades, platoons, or just undervalued free agents. Ain't too many undervalued Mark Buehrles out there.

[cknox0723]

It seems as though the cards are stacked against us for this one - Esteban Loaiza won't get the start because, frankly, he's awful, and maybe skipping him in the rotation will be the kick in the rear that he needs. After the off day of two days ago, Jorge DePaula's fully rested and ready, and he'll face the decidedly mediocre Todd Ritchie. Still, even the decidedly mediocre have looked good against us this year (Jeff Suppan? Jarrod Washburn?), and our lineup ain't looking too hot. Vazquez-Lugo-Ordonez-Fullmer-Borchard-Crede-LaRue-King. Your new look Pale Hose. It's like darning your socks...may help for a while, but in the end, you're wasting your time. Why not just buy a new pair of socks? Next year, I will.

Crappy lineup or no, wasting his time or not, DePaula looks sharp as a tack in the first, getting three weak ground balls to the left side. Ordonez and Fullmer give us a threat with a pair of two-out singles, but Joe Borchard (why is he hitting fifth again?) grounds to short. You know, it's really aggravating to leave baserunners stranded, wasting opportunities. They must get tired out there.

Good Jorge gives Lugo and Vazquez some work early on in the second inning and challenges Tike Redman with a three-two slider that he can't handle. That's two straight perfect innings.

Joe Crede hits a rocket right back at Ritchie to start our half of the inning, and that makes way for two debuts in Pale Hose.

Jason LaRue takes a fastball for a strike, then another. An oh-two hole. "Wondeful", I think, purposely not pronouncing the 'r'. But the next pitch is a hanger, and LaRue hits a shot into the left-center field gap. A clean double. Whaddya know?

Nothing comes of it, though, as the frightened puppy dog, Clint King, strikes out looking on four pitches, and DePaula grounds to second to leave LaRue on the base of the same name. Good thing we don't have anyone in our system named Guantanamo.

DePaula loses the perfect game with one out in the third when No Arm Shanks doubles into the left field corner, but Ritchie flies out and Mateo grounds to third to leave Tony Pena doing some dirt-kicking of his own. (Or rather his faithful disciple - apparently the Royals' fiery manager was tossed in the first for arguing balls and strikes...where was I?)

And finally, finally, finally, all those baserunners of the first two innings start to have meaning. The law of averages, I suppose. Ramon Vazquez leads off the third with a single, and he's got the green light, but instead he watches Hacktastic Julio work a 1-2 count full and then unload on a hanging curve. Marty Cordova has to play it off the fence in left, and we've got runners at second and third with no one and the heart of the order up. Even we can't botch that. Mags grounds out to second, but that scores The Disillusioned One, and Brad Fullmer follows with a solid single to right to make it two-zip. Joe Borchard, like a schmuck, hits into a double play, but this is as a big a lead as we've had in...two days, at least.

With the two, three, and four hitters due up for K.C., DePaula could easily blow it. But Rich Thompson bounces to third and after running the count full, Mike Sweeney does the same. Of course, Joe Crede makes a poor throw on the latter, and it looks as though we're going to just give away the lead like so many times before. Free baserunners! All right! Marty Cordova fans, though, and all we need is one out. But Miguel Cairo gets a two-ball count...and hits DePaula's third pitch into the bleachers. A home run, tying the game. F*ck you, Joe Crede. Little Tike Redman hits a comebacker and that does it, but our lead's lost and gone forever.

Crede bounces out, LaRue and King both strike out. "And what you wish for won't come true...you aren't surprised, love, are you?"

Good Jorge dispatches the latter three of the Kansas City order in the fifth, quite possibly preventing a mid-game resignation. But after two ground balls and Whifftastic Julio make an appearance, it's back to work for The Schizophrenic One, and against some actual hitters this time.

Henry Mateo draws a leadoff walk, but Jason LaRue guns him out trying to steal on the very next pitch. Light-hitting Rich Thompson grounds out, and it looks like we've escaped a threat...but Mike Sweeney does his doubling thing, and DePaula runs the count to two-and-oh on Marty Cordova. Against my silent screaming, his next pitch is a strike, and not a particularly good one. It's lined to left, and now we're trailing. A force play ends the inning...but do you blame me for being a bit of a pessimist here?

And Ordonez, Fullmer, and Borchard go down in order in the sixth. Glorp.

Tike Redman starts off the seventh with a double, so I yank DePaula for Mike Gallo and then, as the matchups dictate, Aki Otsuka. And it works perfectly - except Henry Mateo bloops a two-out single to center to score Redman, even though he hit the ball all of 125 feet at 40 miles per hour. We leave the inning down 4-2. Chad Paronto moves the game into the eighth by setting down Crede, LaRue, and King in order, but Otsuka gets through the top half of the eighth, giving us a small chance.

D.Y. pinch-hits and leads off with a base hit, and Ramon Vazquez follows with a screaming shot to deep left-center...that Marty Cordova grabs as he crashes into the wall. Bloody hell. Hacktastic Julio hits into a double play to end the inning and I want to sob or hit something or call Juan Uribe a festering pool of incompetence or something. But he's in Charlotte, so instead I send out Joe Roa to give us a chance in the bottom of the ninth. He does his job, and Brad Fullmer lines a one-out single back through the box to give us a chance to tie the game with one swing. But Joe Borchard flies out and after a thirteen pitch battle, Frank Thomas...strikes out. No, I'm not surprised. Are you?

KC 4 CHW 2

WP: T. Ritchie (6-7) - 6 IP, 6 H, 2 R, 0 BB, 5 K
LP: J. DePaula (3-8) - 6 IP, 5 H, 4 R, 2 ER, 1 BB, 3 K
S: B. Schmack (15,000)

Game Ball Goes To... Joe Crede. One of these days, he'll help us win as much as he's helped our opponents.

[cknox0723]

Trying to halt a seemingly interminable losing streak becomes a little tougher with Jon Garland on the mound. Oddly enough, his counterpart on Kansas City will be someone we've yet to face this year - Miguel Batista. Better him than Jeremy Affeldt.

I flirt with starting D.Y. at third and Enrique at short, but realize that I'm doing it to get Clint King in the lineup and wise up. With a passable defense behind him as opposed to an awful one, Garland is fine in the first and the inning ends with Mike Sweeney getting gunned out trying to nab second. In the bottom half, Batista gets some solid defensive support and we go down in order. In the second, Marty Cordova leads off with a double off the wall in left-center, and a Little Tike Redman sacrifice fly three batters later brings home the game's first run.

Neither side threatens over the next six outs, but we get a late rally in the third as Ramon Vazquez and D.Y. both draw two-out free passes. But Magglio pops out, ending the inning.

Both pitchers cruiuse relatively easily through the next few frames - Garland getting a steady stream of slow ground balls and Batista benefitting from our overall lack of competence. Again, though, we eventually get a couple runners in a row on base - this time with one out in the sixth, as Magglio laces our second base hit and Brad Fullmer draws a walk. But Joe Borchard flies out and Jason LaRue grounds out and we squander what's likely to be our best chance.

Batista whiffs the side in the seventh, his last inning of work, and after Garland tires in the top half of the eighth, he, too, comes out. Joe Roa escapes a bases loaded jam to keep the deficit at one.

Nate Field comes in for the bottom of the eighth and Ramon Vazquez finally hits into some luck, lacing a shot into vast space in right field that ends up as a two-bagger. But D.Y. whiffs, Maggs Ordonez is walked intentionally, and Brad Fullmer hits a hard shot...right at Carlos Febles. Double play. Time for some gratuitous cursing.

The top of the ninth is over in the blink of an eye, and we need just a single run in the bottom of the ninth. But the loadspeakers blare..."Let The Bodies Hit The Floor", and I know then that we're done. Sure enough, Brian Schmack does his thing, sweeping us out of our own stadium.

KC 1 CHW 0

WP: M. Batista (5-2) - 7 IP, 2 H, 0 R
LP: J. Garland (2-6) - 7.1 IP, 7 H, 1 R
S: B. Schmack (16)

Game Ball Goes To... Jon Garland, he says with a sigh.

[canadiancreed]

Ouch I dont know whats worse; your offense chocking like that, or losing to Miguel "gopher ball" Batista

[cknox0723]

Originally Posted by canadiancreed

Ouch I dont know whats worse; your offense chocking like that, or losing to Miguel "gopher ball" Batista

Something about the Royals...they're not any good, but it sure seems like they are from time to time.

I guess when you have a bunch of replacement-level guys in the lineup, you're bound to have those days where no matter what, you're just not going to score. Lugo, Crede, Whoever's Donning The Tools Of Ignorance...even Borchard, Vazquez, and Thomas/Fullmer, to an extent...that's a lot of "offense" without a lot of upside.

Oh well...we could have Donnie Sadler or Tony Womack. That'd be worse.

[cknox0723]

The losing, it seems, may never end, as we're now on our third losing streak of longer than five games (and it seems like forty), but I still don't think we're a club that can only win 30% of our games, regardless of what the standings show ("Tell your statistics to shut up, Charlie"). After loads of rest, Esteban Loaiza will start today against a recently ferocious Tigers team, led by a roaring Izzy Valdes, who stymied us to one run and a couple of hits over eight plus innings just six short days ago. OK, six long days.

Loaiza gives up a leadoff single to The Book Nook, but after a strikeout, a fielder's choice, and a force out, a rare scoreless inning is in the books for Bad Bahn. It's all about the rest. Valdes allows but a free pass to Magglio, and it's zeroes for both sides after one frame.

Carlos Pena fulfills Grady Fuson's dreams with a two-out double in the second, but I put on my managerial hat and intentionally walk Junior Spivey to bring up the pitcher. Loaiza falls behind 2-0, but summons up some strength and coaxes Valdes to ground out to short, keeping the game scoreless. Our slumping trio of Borchard, Vazquez, and Crede go down in order in the bottom half, and this game is taking the same shape as so many losses of the past. Save me, Esteban.

Nook Logan leads off the third with his second base hit, but for the second time, doesn't care to add to his stolen base total of 25, so Loaiza gets a couple of ground balls and throws a beautiful curve to Rondell White with the count full to leave the speedy Detroit center fielder on second base and the score still at zip-zip.

The new masked man, Jason LaRue, leads off the third with a booming double off the wall in left-center, but Loaiza fails to get a bunt down and eventually grounds out to third. The count runs to 2-2 on Hacktastic Julio, leading off today in an attempt to take some pressure off of Disillusioned Ramon Vazquez, and much to my surprise, Lugo lines the fifth pitch of the at-bat to right field for a two-bagger of his own. D.Y. grounds to short for the second out, but Mags Ordonez follows with another double, giving him his team-leading thirty-fifth run batted in. Brad Fullmer grounds out to finally end the inning, but we're up 2.

In the top of the fourth, Jermaine Dye lines a one-out single back through the middle, turning me into Nostradamus, gloom and doom and hellfire and all of that. Sure enough, Loaiza hangs a curve and Carlos Pena crushes it to right-center...but Mags runs it down. Ernie Spivey takes two pitches wide and lines the third hard, but right at Brad Fullmer, and the inning's over. Hey. Who says we don't get the breaks sometimes?

The three popsicles go down in order in our half of the fourth, though Joe Crede gives a 2-2 curve a ride, only to see it land in Rondell White's glove some twenty feet short of the fence. Loaiza turns the trick on the Kitties in the fifth, though, so all is well.

Jason LaRue leads off the fifth with his second base hit, but Loaiza botches the bunt again, and LaRue's forced out at second some fifty seconds after his second hit. (Mental note - No more bunting with E. Loaiza) Hacktastic Julio raps into a double play, and Valdes's work provides a nice lesson in efficiency, or maybe efficacy.

With the heart of the order up for Detroit in the sixth, Loaiza resolves to drive me insane, running the count to 2-0 on Adrian Beltre before inducing an easy ground ball to short. Then, he runs the count to 2-0 on Rondell White before The Third Part of the Nursery Rhyme hits a shot to deep left that D.Y. chases...chases...and finally runs down near the wall, though the mental picture of that isn't very aesthetic. Mercifully, Mike Lieberthal grounds Loaiza's second pitch to second, and it's still 2-0 after five-and-a-half. Deuces wild in that inning.

After D.Y. goes down feebly to start our half of the fifth, Mags follows with his second double to left-center, and Brad Fullmer follows suit with a shot to the opposite gap, scoring Ordonez to make it three-nil. Joe Borchard quickly falls in a two-strike hole, and of course makes an out, but it's encouraging to see him at least hit a fly ball instead of striking out yet again. And Ramon Vazquez follows with a base hit of his own, plating Fullmer and increasing our lead to four. He pilfers second, which proves to be unimportant because Joe Crede raps the next pitch right back to Valdes to end the inning, but this is encouraging. 4-0.

In the seventh, Loaiza sets down Jermaine Dye and Carlos Pena to assuage much of my worry. Ernest Spivey draws a two-out walk, but then the pinch-hitter makes me chortle. Ty Wigginton. I'm from the metro-New York area - of course I'll laugh at that. Predictably, Wiggy pops out to right, and we need just six outs for our first win since seemingly last year.

Franklyn "Chuck And Duck" German comes on for Detroit for the bottom of the seventh, and after Jason LaRue's retired for the first time today, Loaiza's due up. Not trusting the 'pen much, I let him hit, and he whiffs. Julio Lugo cracks a double (another chortle - "past a diving Wigginton"), but D.Y. grounds out to likely cap off a rather lousy oh-for-four day. No matter - six outs, six outs, six outs.

Loaiza starts the eighth by running the count full on Exavier Prente Logan, and his sixth pitch is a fastball right on the black. Solid. Omar L'Enfant follows with a base hit, but then comes the pitcher's slot, as Alan Trammell apparently double-switched in keeping Ty Wigginton in the game. Chortle. Tony Giarratano pinch-hits and goes down looking, and I decide to give Loaiza a shot to end the inning. Encouragingly, he responds and Rondell White can manage but a weak ground ball to second which Ramon Vazquez fields easily and flips on over to Brad Fullmer for the third out.

T.J. Tucker rocks the heart of our order to sleep in the bottom of the eighth, and it all comes down to the top half of the ninth. I decide to let Loaiza go until he gets into trouble, but he retires Lieberthal on an infield pop-up and Dye on a strikeout before Carlos Pena hits his second double into the right field corner. I give Loaiza one more batter, and he gets ahead 1 and 2 on Junior Spivey before contact's made. All Spivey can manage is a weak ground ball up the middle, and Hacktastic Julio charges it beautifully, secures it in his glove and in one quick motion guns it across the diamond. Holden Culbreith pumps his right arm, and Esteban Loaiza's got a complete game shutout.



DET 0 CHW 4

WP: E. Loaiza (3-7) - CG, 6 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 5 K, 109 pitches
LP: I. Valdes (4-4) - 6 IP, 7 H, 4 R, 1 BB, 0 K (too many balls in play, so sayeth the DIPS theory)

Game Ball Goes To... Much as I want to reward Jason LaRue, who made all those awful memories of Mike Piazza fade a bit further into the past, Loaiza hasn't pitched this well since...well, last year. Or ever. You know how that is.

[canadiancreed]

Mike Piazza being upstaged by a no-name......damn thats' gotta hurt....for him

[Vris]

Nah, cause Piazza has done nothing but suck horribly for the ChiSox. Excellent performance by Loaiza, and the team in general. I knew you had it in you!

P.S.: I think you found the best solution towards your Less Than Stellar Bullpen....Not using it!

Great job Craig.

[cknox0723]

Originally Posted by Vris

Nah, cause Piazza has done nothing but suck horribly for the ChiSox. Excellent performance by Loaiza, and the team in general. I knew you had it in you!

P.S.: I think you found the best solution towards your Less Than Stellar Bullpen....Not using it!

Great job Craig.

Even I was surprised to see Jason LaRue, of all people, do well. Speaking of that...ah, see...I knew I would forget something!

Yes, the bullpen does suck. But skipping a post...that sucks more. Time to fix.

[cknox0723]

I was going to edit everything else, but realized that no one would read this. Ah, this is what my little hiatus did...I type out the posts in Word, but the titles aren't the dates, like they should be...but random stuff, much like the titles I use here. So I missed this one. Oops.

LOOK!!! ROSTER MOVEMENT!!!

This actually happened on the 14th...the day that Gopher Ball Batista shut us out. Good times.

It'd be easy to give up right now, since it seems bleak - seeing that every position but right field is considered a weakness over and over again...it makes you wonder. But instead of giving up, may as well try to shuffle around some deck chairs on our little Titanic. It may be futile, but it makes me think that I'm doing something helpful.

So Jeremy Reed's down to AAA and up in his place is Clinton King. Fans of the Clutch God will disapprove - (Goodsox, I'm looking at you - but really, who isn't a fan of Jeremy Reed? How could you not be?) - but Reed's 3-30 in June and all the way down to a .240 average on the year. He's only 24, and I've got absurdly high hopes for him. But some time in Charlotte will do him good in the long run - regular playing time and a chance to think. If only we were all so lucky.

23 year old Clint King will get the chance to see the good life for the second time, but he might actually have a shot to stay this time around. He seemed to be a middling prospect entering this year - nice batting averages between all three minor league levels over the past couple of years, but not a whole lot of patience or power. That'll give an OPS in the mid-.700's, and for a corner outfielder, that doesn't add up to much. Throw in a lukewarm 64 at-bat cup of coffee last September - .203/.203/.281 - and you can't blame me for writing off King this year. But something's clicked this year, or maybe he's just hit into good luck. King's still a-hackin' like Julio (I should trademark that phrase), but a .315 batting average and .513 slugging percentage are hard to ignore, especially when they're posted one step below the major leagues. For all I know, King may be peaking right this instant - may as well see what we have and let Jeremy Reed get his sh*t together all at the same time. Welcome aboard, Clint.

All that for a simple promotion/demotion. Would you believe there's also a trade to talk about? Yes, yes, it's been long overdue...but it's time to bid adieu to everyone's favorite hoagie fixings.

Mike Piazza wasn't traded (Sausage, Peppers, and Onions, anyone?), but we've finally got a replacement for him. It comes from the O.C. once again, as Jason LaRue will make the trek in from San Diego to join the club. LaRue's not exactly a hot commodity - he was a free agent not too long ago, and he hit all of .197 with Cincinnati two years ago. But he's better defensively than Piazza, has some power, and makes for an OK platoon partner for Miggy Olivo, who's back down to his typical .220 or so batting average against right-handers. He's hit AAA well - .295, 11 home runs, even a smattering of walks, so it's worth a shot. We've seen worse, that's for sure.

And all it cost was Pedro Lopez. I'm sure a lot of you are asking "Who the heck is that?", which is plenty fair. The answer's not important, though, because Lopez isn't really anyone of consequence. That's even moreso because he's a second baseman - same position as offseason acquisition Hector Made. Made's a year younger and a better all-around player, so Lopez is expendable, but it isn't as if he's, say, Wily Mo Pena. More like Michael Coleman.

It's really a very minor trade, but the biggest ramification is that Mike Piazza's going to turn in the shin guards. With LaRue on board, Sausage, Peppers, and Onions is obviously the odd man out, and at 37 years young, he wasn't too interested in going down to AAA. So almost regrettably, I did what had to be done, and ate the $846,000 and change in order to give Piazza his walking papers. It was hard, though - you get attached to these guys almost. Piazza's final line with us:

147 AB, 23 H, 1 HR, 7 RBI, 8 R, 3 2B, 0 3B, 8 BB, 45 K, .156 average, .205 OBP, .197 slugging

Oh, that includes a sickly .338 OPS against right-handers. Piazza did throw out 27% of opposing base-stealers, which is great by his standards...but did I say I was getting attached to him? Yeah, attached...like a parasite. And all for the low, low price of $1.4 million! Yet another lesson I've learned - avoid 37 year old catchers like the plague.

Want another one? Put. Dates. On. Everything. Sheesh.

[BadluckinOOTP]

And now we will probably watch the Yankees sign Piazza, and have an excellent final 3 months of the season. Way to bring down the empire

[cknox0723]

Esteban Loaiza's dominance (no, I never expected to say that, either) held a twofold importance, because not only did we get a win that we were desperate for, but we have a passing chance today for the bullpen to rescue Jon Rauch, who's going to be babied since he's nursing some shoulder stiffness. Rich Harden is stiff, too - a stiff counterpart, but that's not terribly important, is it?

Two tidbits of minor importance before focusing on the task at hand - lost in our great win yesterday was Kris Benson's first win of the season for Pittsburgh. It's only noteworthy because the right-hander has an ERA near 8.00, even after giving up just two earned in eight innings yesterday, and because these things interest me. Guess you're stuck with that as one of the quirks of this so-called dynasty. But the Pale Hose cover much of the awfulness in the league, so it's almost covered from the get-go. But someone like Benson...some part of me pities the guy, and another part can't help but gawk. And golly, the Mets ought to trade for him.

Also, whilst perusing the almanac, I noticed that, much like Allard Baird, I have managed to improve this team even while we suck horribly. Most of the guys gone from last year weren't any good - Carlos Lee (SEA), who refused to re-sign, and Felix Heredia (STL), who was horribly overpaid, notwithstanding. I also noticed that the "management" in charge of the club last year managed to waive Timo Perez, who's now in Philadelphia. I don't have much use for the speedy, slap-hitting type, but he hit .290 or so last year and it's not as if we've got the Yankees' outfield here. Oh well.

Ah, yes...the game, the game. OK, I'll stop with the meandering...for now.

The game, as it was, does not get off to the most promising start, as Rauch immediately falls behind Exavier Prente Logan only to hit him on the shoulder with his fifth pitch. After a steal of second that I'd been waiting for since yesterday, Omar Infante proceeds to draw a walk, and the Felines appear to be roaring. But Adrian Beltre stares at three straight strikes, Rondell White grounds to third, and Pudge pops out to center to leave a pair of speedsters straddling a pair of white flour sacks.

The Hacktastic One swats Rich Harden's third pitch of the ballgame to left for a leadoff base hit, and realizing D.Y.'s recent struggles, I'm all for the hit and run. Of course, that bit of baseball strategy is limited when the batter hits a fly ball, but I guess D.Y. wasn't aware. In any case, his pop-up to left isn't about to move the runner up...until Rondell White decides that no, a glove is not necessary to catch the ball. A dropped fly ball. Don't see that one every day. I quickly become more concerned with our team's inability to hit, though, as Mags bounces into a force at third and B. Fullmer flies out to center. But that's only two outs, and much as Joe Borchard isn't any good, he does get a hit once in a while. Incredibly, his first at-bat of this game is one of those times, as he laces a shot into the right field corner which goes for a three-bagger. Ramon Vazquez follows with a double, and it's suddenly 3-0. Enrique Wilson grounds to short to end the inning, but I don't think we've had a three-run lead after the first inning in...a month. Or three.

So Rauch starts off the second by hitting another batter, Reed Johnson. Grady Fuson's Prodigal Son pops out, but Junior Spivey unintentionally walks on four pitches and after a Harden sacrifice, the Tigers have two men in scoring position for A Nook. So Rauch panics and throws a wild pitch, bringing home a run, before allowing himself to settle down and get a ground ball to third to end the inning. He's still got a no-hitter, though!

After The Street (the French-to-English translation of Jason LaRue's last name) and The Hypothetical Power Forward are retired to start the bottom of the second, Julio Lugo knocks a base hit, his second of the game (or month, whichever you prefer). Three pitches later, D.Y. hits a long drive to left, but Rondell White makes a nice catch to end the inning.

The Tigers get a leadoff single from Omar Infante in the third, but Alan Trammell must end up as aggravated as I normally am, as his next two batters, Adrian Beltre and Rondell White, both hit the ball solidly, but they stay within the spacious confines of The Cell and hang in the air long enough to be tracked down by our galloping outfielders. The Rapidly Aging Rodriguez grounds to short to end the inning.

Magglio Ordonez lifts a fly ball to right to start the third...medium height, medium depth, just a can of corn. And Reed Johnson can't haul it in. Unbelievable. I actually pity both the real and virtual Alan Trammell now. Brad Fullmer fans on three pitches, and as Borchard and Vazquez quickly go down as well, I begin to pity...say...I don't know, Lou Whitaker or someone... a little more. However, Rauch gets two-strike counts on all three Tigers in the fourth, and while he doesn't strike any of them out, he still sets them down in order.

Jason LaRue knocks a one-out single in the fourth immediately after The Relief Ace weakly grounded out, but Rauch botches the sacrifice and we're left with a runner at first and two outs for Julio Lugo. The Hacktastic One promptly singles to left, and Harden then falls behind two-and-oh to D.Y.. He lines the next pitch to right, and Reed Johnson commits the cardinal sin of throwing home with two outs. Even Rauch, with a head start on contact, is able to beat the throw home, and Lugo and Young both move into scoring position. Two pitches later, Magglio Ordonez brings them both home with a line drive single to left, and Harden's gone with the score at 6-1. Jack Cressend comes in, walks Brad Fullmer, walks Joe Borchard, and walks Ramon Vazquez to force in a run. Enrique Wilson grounds to first on the third pitch, the second out he's made in the inning, but we're up six.

When was the last time we were up six?

It's kind of neat, being up so many runs. Instead of worrying about who to put in, I can appreciate the game a little more. Julio Lugo making a leaping catch to rob Omar Infante and end the fifth inning. Jason LaRue leading off the bottom of that inning with his fourth hit in two days. Rauch putting on the first two batters in the sixth via the base on balls and still working out of it, using DIPS (a strikeout of Reed Johnson) and that rookie veteran craftiness (a well hit ball by Carlos Pena that D.Y. tracks down at the wall). Ty Wigginton pinch hitting and striking out on three pitches. (Tee hee hee)

And that's in all of three innings. Just imagine how much I would write if I were but a mere spectator.

Ah, but conflict causes drama, I suppose. Or something. In any case, the Tigers finally score again in the eighth, as The Italian Stallion, Tony Giarratano, somehow hits a home run. I say somehow like it's a surprise that Shingo Takatsu gave up a long ball. Yeah, who knew that'd happen? Rondell White followed with a base hit, but Pudge rapped into a 4-6-3 rally-kiler and that leaves the Felines with three outs.

Rick Hummel comes on for the ninth and allows a walk and a couple of hits, though, so I panic and go to Kiko Calero. He gets Ty Wigginton, but Nook Logan hits a two-run double and suddenly the tying run's at the plate and I'm throwing stuff and freaking out, panicking, wondering what the hell to do. Wilton Reynolds pinch-hits, and on the second pitch of the at-bat, hits a shot to the right side, but Ramon Vazquez makes a diving stop and throws him out at first. I bring on southpaw Mike Gallo to face youngster Tony Giarratano and get the final out. Gallo gets a 2-2 count on him, but Giarratano hangs tough, fouls a pitch or two off and works the count full. But on the payoff pitch, with the tying run at the plate, the left-handed Gallo throws a nasty changeup and Giarratano manages but a weak comebacker. A toss to first, and the game's in the books. Whew. A thing of beauty.



DET 5 CHW 7

WP: J. Rauch (2-3) - 7 IP, 1 H, 1 R, 3 BB, 5 K
LP: R. Harden (5-3) - 3.2 IP, 8 H, 7 R, 4 ER
S: M. Gallo (1)

Game Ball Goes To... Rauch may have pitched a heck of a game (one hit?), but Julio Lugo did a lot of things right today, with four hits and solid defense. Scary. Very scary.