Yet Another OOTP6 Dynasty: The Pale Hose

[cknox0723]

SUSPECTS

I had hopes that Antoin Gray might be the short-term solution for our middle infield problems, since he'd posted .300 batting averages in two consecutive AA seasons and even had a 4-7 cup of coffee in the bigs two years ago. It's now June 1st, and Gray has turned 25 and might soon be turning two in another organization, after a cringe-inducing 159 at-bats at AAA. I just couldn't take seeing his line of .138/.193/.195 any more, though he's just 2-12 in his first 3 games back at Birmingham. I can't explain it, and don't particularly care to.

Jay Marshall was promoted to AAA for no real reason other than his age (23), and predictably, the skinny left-hander with a career record of 13-17 at AA Birmingham flopped, with a 2-4, 7.32 mark in 8 starts for Charlotte. He's back in Alabama, with little hope that he'll ever be much more.

Ed Ashbaugh struggled through his first professional season after being selected in the seventh round last year, posting an ugly .264 OBP, but seemed like he'd adjusted to the wood bat this year, posting an OPS of over 1000 in his first month at Winston-Salem. Unfortunately, it was just another case of an older guy dominating his younger competition, as Ashbaugh went just 12-67 at AA before he made a return trip back to North Carolina. Notice how all of our farm clubs are in the recesses of the South? That's kind of neat, actually. Hope ol' Eddie gets used to grits.

Felix Diaz, signed just over a week ago after Jon Rauch was promoted to the big boys (and that worked out well, no?), managed to get himself hurt in less than a week. After two mediocre starts, he was found to have an inflamed bicep tendon, and he'll be down until August. This comes after bone chips in his shoulder ended his season prematurely last year. So despite a 4.19 ERA in six major-league starts last year, Diaz, at 25, doesn't look to have much of a future. But if he could figure out how to get up in the morning without tripping and stubbing his toe, he might be able to work a 9-5 job one day.

Both Andy Gonzalez, a slick-fielding shortstop, and Ricardo Nanita, a speedy flycatcher, are 24 years old and started the year in A-ball. Noticing their ages and limited upsides, after they had a good six or ten at-bats in Winston-Salem, I figured that their only chance was a promotion. A couple months later, neither of the two look very impressive, with Gonzalez hitting just .226 and Nanita at an empty .240, but it was a chance that had to be taken. Just because it failed doesn't necessarily mean it was wrong.

Armando Deltoro was a college right-hander taken in the second round last year. He's still in A-ball, and though he carries a 2.25 ERA, he hasn't been dominant. The scouts don't like him, either, which makes me wonder what the hell we were thinking last year. Regardless, a promotion to AA isn't out of the question, and maybe he'll show some of that high draft pick pedigree.

[cknox0723]

AND EVEN WORSE: RELIEVERS

Not even worth separating them. A minor league reliever is a minor league reliever is a minor league reliever, and in the end, they're all really the same. I'll start from the guys closest to pitching in the bigs (ha! like I'd let that happen!) and work on down, but trust me, there's nothing here.

AAA Charlotte: Three guys here, one of whom is Ryan Meaux, also known as "Guy That Hid In The Corner of the 'Pen For A Week in April". He sucks, but the other two are kind of interesting. Rick Hummel is twenty-five and has two and a third innings above AA, but he's had plenty of success in the low minors, and posted a 3.44 ERA at Birmingham to earn a call-up this year. His strikeout to walk ratio's 4 to 1, so maybe he can be a LOOGY if he learns how to throw with the other hand. Rick Ankiel's still around, too, after experiencing the high of dominating AA and the low of getting drubbed in the majors. 4.2 IP, 4 BB, 8 K at Charlotte. Sounds like the guy we know, but I have a morbid obssession with him, so he'll be around a while.

AA Birmingham: Arnaldo Munoz is in his third straight year at AA, and despite never walking more than 10 batters in a season, his ERA's are mediocre. Blah. 21 year old Fabio Castro is back in "Sweet Home Alabama" for the third straight year, as well, after an ill-advised attempt to promote him to AAA flopped to the tune of a 4.97 ERA. Castro, if you'll recall, posted a 1.53 ERA for Birmingham two years ago, and has shown a strong strikeout rate and impressive control. I'll give him time.

A Winston-Salem: Fernando "Long_Long_Name" Hernandez has the same story as Castro, but a level lower. The difference is that Hernandez's ERA's had been even better for Winston-Salem over the past two seasons (2.45 and 1.79) despite mediocre control and a somewhat pedestrian K-rate. That tends to make you think that he won't have much success in the high minors, but there's no rush. Same goes for a couple of 20 year olds drafted last year - though Dan Ashton, the tenth rounder, has had a heck of a lot more success than eighth rounder Erwin Cothren. That's a piss-poor excuse for a name, too - I might just cut The Scientist.

JUST THERE

c.f. chen is hitting .210 in AAA despite a solid track record. Damn it.

Jerry Gil and Jon Lester are both mediocre Single-A players acquired when I decided to return a waiver claimant back to their original team, either because I felt they were a crux to the organization (Jamie D'Antona) or just didn't want 'im anymore (Kevin Huang). I wanted to just trade the guys for cash, but you can't, so these two dunces are what we have in return. A .243 batting average and a 1-6 record. Great. How does making them the first two cuts after the amateur draft sound?

Raul Gonzalez and Matt Diaz were supposed to be AAA mashers and spare parts and all that, but they're both hitting around .250.

Travis Foley, Marc Kaiser, and Kyle Sleeth are all 23 or 24 years old and pitching in AAA, but none inspire much confidence or projectability. For Kaiser, it's what we've seen at the major league level that discredits him. Foley's 4.26 ERA in AAA doesn't portend much, and Sleeth may be a shiny former first-round pick and tote an ERA of 3.22, but he has an unsightly WHIP of over 1.60. Pass.

Y'all know all about Brian Whitaker, so the only guy left is 26 year old Tim Tisch, 2-5 with a 2.81 ERA at AA Birmingham. He's also 6'6" tall. Why do we have so many giraffes in our minor league system?

Moral of the story: Minor league vets suck if they aren't called "Bucky".

[cknox0723]

So what does all of that mean? Essentially, not a whole lot. It doesn't give me much more of an idea of our farm system, except that I'm now certain that I'm going to pick the best available player, since we really do need a bit of everything at both the top level and all those below. I do think a few of our lefties at AA (Wing and Blackburn) might become something, but there's a lot of hay to dig through to find the few needles, so to speak.

A quick note on the draft: I had used a 10-round draft in those first two years that I simmed, but this one will only be 5. I couldn't switch the date to June 1st until this offseason, though, meaning that the game still generated 10 rounds worth...long story short, I did some deleting, but there is some TALENT in this draft. I like it, and I think it'll be beneficial in the long run. It'll sure be a blast to experience.

[cknox0723]

A quick look at some of the top draft-eligible players:

BEANE COUNTING

(the top college products)

1. RHS Chris Scarborough, Virginia (easy competition level): 117.1 IP, 14-1, 1.23 ERA, 70 H, 28 BB, 212 K, injury trouble

2. OF Jose Badillo, Toledo (average): 173 AB, .342 avg./.484 obp./.723 slg., 17 HR, 48 BB, 37 SB, ++ defense

3. SS/3B Greg Powell, North Carolina Asheville (average): 230 AB, .349/.460/.557, 14 HR, 48 BB, needs a position

4. 3B Martin Serna, Loyola Marymount (very tough): 204 AB, .326/.483/.569, 13 HR, 61 BB, 10 2B, -- defense

5. C Herbert Mitchell, Liberty (tough): 217 AB, .323/.435/.507, 12 HR, 43 BB, average arm

6. C Joe Carr, Long Island (easy): 206 AB, .321/.426/.563, 14 HR, 38 BB, 8 2B, weak arm

7. RHS Dave DeMarest, North Carolina (fair): 132.1 IP, 12-4, 2.24 ERA, 108 H, 40 BB, 169 K

8. 3B Stephen Hunt, Central Florida (very tough): 202 AB, .301/.384/.535, 14 HR, 27 BB, ++ defense

9. OF Dan Gottlieb, Buffalo (fair): 221 AB, .328/.394/.525, 11 HR, 25 BB, 9 2B

10. LHR Ray Butner, South Carolina (very tough): 32 IP, 3-0, 1.69 ERA, 18 H, 13 BB, 56 K, 14 SV

11. RHS Harry Novak, Nebraska (average): 102.2 IP, 13-3, 2.63 ERA, 86 H, 41 BB, 108 K

12. 1B Mark Berry, Central Michigan (fair): 231 AB, .406/.463/.494, 4 HR, 24 BB, 13 SB

13. RHS Geoffrey McInnis, Fresno State (average): 97.1 IP, 10-3, 2.22 ERA, 82 H, 24 BB, 91 K

14. 1B Christian Madrigal, Illinois (fair): 254 AB, .301/.373./.469, 11 HR, 30 BB, 8 2B

15. OF Tyson Sewell, Portland (fair): 259 AB, .337/.384/.486, 9 HR, 20 BB, 10 2B

16. RHS Tony Givens, Kansas (very tough): 102.2 IP, 10-4, 2.72 ERA, 96 H, 26 BB, 93 K

17. RHS Greg Johnson, Colorado (tough): 137.1 IP, 125 H, 42 BB, 145 K

18. OF John Brett, Ohio State (fair): 257 AB, .298/.373/.518, 11 HR, 30 BB, 11 2B, 6 3B

19. RHS Joe Chittenden, William & Mary (fair): 108.2 IP, 11-5, 2.57 ERA, 92 H, 31 BB, 137 K

20. RHS Rob O'Connor, Georgia Tech (tough): 124.1 IP, 11-5, 2.53 ERA, 111 H, 35 BB, 116 K

SELLING JEANS

(the top projectable, good-faced high school players)

1. SS Mike Wright, Framingham, MA: 77 AB, .600 avg./.687 obp./1052 slg., 8 HR, 22 BB, 11 2B, 9 SB

2. C Clayton Vogan, Washington DC: 67 AB, .563/.651/1015, 5 HR, 16 BB, 11 2B, 6 SB

3. 3B Tom Fresquez, Lakeland, FL: 105 AB, .552/.588/1133, 15 HR, 9 BB, 12 2B

4. RHS David Gibbs, Hagerstown, MD: 91 IP, 16-0, 0.79 ERA, 52 H, 16 BB, 154 K

5. RHS Zach George, Redondo, CA: 77.1 IP, 14-0, 0.81 ERA, 43 H, 15 BB, 146 K

6. C Robert Thibodeaux, High Point, NC: 72 AB, .566/.622/1028, 8 HR, 10 BB, 9 2B

7. SS Russell Christensen, Jacksonville, FL: 89 AB, .562/.618/.854, 3 HR, 13 BB, 21 SB

8. 1B Marty Waters, Bismarck, ND (they play baseball in North Dakota? ): 66 AB, .617/.653/.833, 1 HR, 6 BB, 11 SB

9. RHR Matt Farmer, Middletown, NJ (garden state representin'!!11!): 43.2 IP, 8-0, 0.21 ERA, 18 H, 6 BB, 92 K

10. SS/3B David Fletcher, The Ozarks, MO: 118 AB, .498/.535/.898, 11 HR, 9 BB, 12 2B, 9 BB

11. RHS Dan Stanley, Cumberland, MD: 83.2 IP, 15-0, 0.75 ERA, 45 H, 18 BB, 159 K

12. OF Joel Campbell, Elgin, IL: 95 AB, .491/.543/.958, 11 HR, 10 BB, 11 2B, 11 SB

13. LHS Carter Jones, Cedar Rapids, IA: 62 IP, 9-0, 1.45 ERA, 49 H, 7 BB, 80 K

14. RHS Doug Burnham, Livonia, MI: 58 IP, 10-0, 1.40 ERA, 46 H, 6 BB, 67 K

15. LHR George Rohr, Minnetonka, MN: 45 IP, 9-0, 0.40 ERA, 15 H, 12 BB, 104 K

16. 1B David Barnes, Decatur, GA: 88 AB, .584/.626/.909, 4 HR, 11 BB, 15 SB, 11 2B

17. "OF" Scott Endicott, Henderson, KY: 118 AB, .598/.636/.856, 7 HR, 11 BB, 9 2B (this kid ain't going to sell any jeans, but he can rake)

18. 3B Alejandro Gomez, Muncie, IN: 90 AB, .508/.560/.844, 6 HR, 10 BB, 19 SB

19. 2B Mike Kaler, Athens, GA: 114 AB, .511/.552/.763, 4 HR, 11 BB, 13 2B, 17 SB

20. 3B Luis Salinas, Boston, MA: 94 AB, .602/.634/.862, 3 HR, 7 BB, 14 SB, 13 2B

[BadluckinOOTP]

1. RHS Chris Scarborough, Virginia (easy competition level): 117.1 IP, 14-1, 1.23 ERA, 70 H, 28 BB, 212 K, injury trouble



Hmmm... Is there an option on the game to sell your soul to the devil for a draft pick? Because if their is this might be time to utilize it.

[BadluckinOOTP]

Oh by the way , when are you going to play the A's?

[cknox0723]

Originally Posted by BadluckinOOTP

Oh by the way , when are you going to play the A's?

Towards the end of the month, we've got a 4-game set at the Coliseum. I'll be sure to give it a little extra, though I'll warn you that the A's are in 4th in the West and comfortably around .500. Blanton & Co. just ain't gettin' it done this year...

As for your other question? Well...you'll see...

[Vris]

This has been the time of the year you've been waiting for, and you're gonna wait a whole day until you tell us who you pick!

If it were me, there were a couple 3rd basemen that looked very promising.

[cknox0723]

Holding the third pick in the major league's First-Year Player draft, it's easy to tell that the margin for error has to be near zero. It's beyond that, though, for this Pale Hose club was not merely a team that had lost 100 games last year, but an organization which managed to lose over six million dollars while doing so. That had finally necessitated the long overdue changing of the guard in the front office, but for the most part, the old foot soldiers were still in place.

And therein was the rub, to paraphrase the Old Bard. The old foot soldiers weren't strict messiahs of the old ways of baseball, as evidenced by the selection of college products with the first two picks last season. What they were, though, was damn near incompetent, for this was a team that hadn't seen an impact player in many years. Even the recent successes of the farm system - Jeremy Reed, Mark Buerhle, Magglio Ordonez - these were players that were stumbled upon, not diamonds in the rough polished like an old leather glove.

Things promised to be different upon the hiring of new management this past offseason. It was a front office intent on slashing costs while simultaneously improving a sorry on-field product, and though the road had been rough in the early going, things were finally looking up. The first-year player draft only promised an opportunity to build on that, but the failures of the past loomed as large as the ghosts of Cicotte and McMullin as the time drew nearer to select the next possible star...or the next possible bust.

The place...the executive boardroom of US Cellular Field, née Comiskey Park. The time...the last gasps of the morning, June 1, 2006

Holding the third pick of the draft, it wasn't quite as poetic as in Moneyball, but I couldn't help but feel the shiver down my spine anyway. It was finally the first of June. It was time to inject some life into this moribund franchise. And incredibly, everyone in the organization - from the scouts to the statheads - was in agreement on who to take. With just two picks in front of us, there was no way we wouldn't get our man. Or was there? After an eternity of idle chatter that I scarcely paid attention to, the speakerphone crackled, but I was lost in my own thoughts, already well aware of what was about to be said.

"Pittsburgh selects draft number 2027. Wright, Michael. Shortstop. Framingham Catholic High School. Framingham, Massachusetts."

Long back to the days of yore, teams with the first overall draft pick have had a preoccupation with high school players, and it seems no number of Steve Chilcotts or Shawn Abners will ever change that. And it defies logic, really, since the whole point of having the first draft pick is to help the team in most need ASAP. Odds are that the selection of Wright will be, in the words of Michael Lewis, "another wasted $2 million".

Speaking of defying logic...the only team standing between our club and the best player in the draft are our division rivals, the Kansas City Royals. And Allard Baird's never been one for logic, especially in drafting. Sure, there's Zack Greinke (who's in AAA in our alternate version, with not nearly the upside of his counterpart), but there's also Chris George (who's sitting on the free agent list, waiting for your call) and Kyle Snyder (who happens to be ripping apart AAA with a 7-0 record and 1.70 ERA - he's 28, but I'm watching him, even if no one else is). Last year, in the only draft prior to this one in our alternate reality, the pick (towards the end of the first round thanks to 91 wins two years ago) was a high school outfielder named Michael Jones who's probably never going to hit. All of that was a long-winded way of saying that I don't have the slightest clue who the Next Great Hope is going to be for the Regal Ones. But without fail, a voice, seemingly from the heavens, shows me the light.

"The Royals select redraft number 0428. Serna, Martin. Third baseman. Loyola Marymount University. Frederick, Maryland."

Whoops of glee and cheers of joy abound.

Un - frickin - believable. My first thought is, "Well, Vris will be disappointed", but then I move past Serna, in my estimation the best college hitter available.

And hitting's probably a safer bet than pitching.

But Serna still ain't the best player in the draft. Sooner rather than later, I summon one of the minions to take our turn at announcing the selection, for the glee would bring back not-so-fond memories of my voice during adolescence.

"Redraft number 0425. Scarborough, Christopher. Right-handed pitcher. The University of Virginia. Fairfax, Virginia. No relation to ex-major leaguer Scarborough Green."



Let me reiterate that he's rated as injury-prone, or fragile, or what have you. But his strikeout rate per nine innings in college? 16.2. Is that not a boost to our crappy minor league system or what?

Unfortunately, the next 30 picks hold only marginal interest to me, as none of them belong to the South Siders. Yet another reminder that I sure ain't Billy Beane, Author of Moneyball. Some random thoughts, though:

-The second best hitter in the draft, in my estimation (don't I sound like Paul DePodesta when I say that?), ends up falling all the way to the Model for the Small-Market Franchise, the Devil Fishies at number six. That hitter was Jose Badillo, who I would have taken had I not been so taken by Scarborough.

-The Rangers add to an embarassment of riches by nabbing right-hander Dave DeMarest with the seventeenth pick. His million dollar plus signing bonus is rather pricey, but he's easily the best college arm aside from Some Guy From Virginia.

-Cincinnati makes me curse, but makes the biggest reach of the first round by selecting high school reliever Matt Farmer with the fifteenth selection, with the only caveat being that he's from my home state, which has got to count for something. And if it doesn't...well, I'll just edit his ratings and make it count, damn it.

-An odd corollary in the first round - the larger market teams seemed to make the more savvy selections. The discrepancies in signing bonuses aren't as large as the real life disparity, so it's interesting to see this, even if it's just the fluke of one year.

Finally, the first round rolls on and the second round is commenced with the selection of a couple of first basemen, Marty Waters and Christian Madrigal. After the latter of those selections, I can only shake my head and stare. More quotes from Moneyball: The Shakespearean Tragedy of Billy Beane:

"This is unfair."
"We just got two of the three best...pitchers in the country..."
"This doesn't happen...don't think this is normal."

That's what I'm thinking. After ending up with the best starter in all the land, the best reliever's sitting in our lap at the top of round two, even though a team's already been silly enough to take a reliever. Maybe I'm a pitching and defense guy at heart, I don't know. But this is just unfair.

"The White Sox select redraft number 0093. Butner, Raymond. Left-handed pitcher. University of South Carolina. Florence, South Carolina."

A WHIP under 1.00, an ERA of 1.69, and 56 strikeouts in 32 innings. In the SEC. I don't care much about bullpens, as Mr. Zero's carcass setting up obviously shows, but those numbers are something you don't pass up. Cost-efficiency, that's what it's all about. After I realize that it's not all a dream and that we do, in fact, hold the rights to Butner and Scarborough, I pat myself on the back and go take a nap. I wake up to find that the scouts have swarmed the freaking place, taking a catcher named Amaury Rodriguez who hit all of .292 in his final year at 'Zona and a couple of high schoolers, a slick fielding infielder with no stick named Gary Sabia and a slickly-named outfielder named Mark Arzola. Even that can't put a damper on this thing. I quickly christen Rodriguez "The Mistake", Sabia "The Wand", and Arzola "Orchards", since I can.

That leaves us with three guys that'll be fun to follow and two absolute studs. With that, the ghosts of Gandil and Weaver and Jackson are beginning to fade into the shadows of Old Comiskey Park. And with the two jewels offering a glimmer of hope for the future at the Cell, there's finally a light at the end of the tunnel, a word that looks so strange that I can't possibly expand beyond it.

[cknox0723]

For some reason, I thought that this trade involved division foe Cleveland swapping with the Diabolical Rangers, but apparently it's an interdivisional trade involving Anaheim and The Team That Outscored Us 78-28 In Seven Games. Well, good - I hate the Rangers with a passion and I would've hated to see either team make out well if they dealt with the Tribe.

It's actually quite an interesting deal, though, as Anaheim and Texas are battling each other for second place in the AL West. The winner's going to win the wild card, but both trail Seattle in the standings.

So if you're in the front office of the Halos, you'd have to wonder why John Hart's willing to give up a starting outfielder. Moreover, what possible motivation could he have for dealing him to an archrival? For that answer, a look at Texas's roster is in order. And in that, you find three comparable outfielders and a solid fourth man in Bubba Trammell.

Add in a hefty raise via arbitration next season, and suddenly the poorly appellated Laynce Nix seems awfully expendable. His home-road splits, admittedly a small sample size, seem to show that The Ballpark at Arlington was a big factor in Nix's .347 batting average. The Rangers end up with a toolsy second baseman named Alberto Callaspo and a couple of non-entities, and the Halos still desperately need another starting pitcher.

It's an odd trade, seemingly an unrealistic one, but it's awfully, awfully interesting. A worthwhile gamble for both sides, and it provides a built-in excuse for the club that ends up sitting at home come October.

[Vris]

Of course I'm disappointed! But you went with your gut, even if he did pile up that 16.2 K/9 against easy competition. But it seems that your more than pleased with the draft so good luck to you in the second part of the first half of the season!

[cknox0723]

Originally Posted by Vris

Of course I'm disappointed! But you went with your gut, even if he did pile up that 16.2 K/9 against easy competition. But it seems that your more than pleased with the draft so good luck to you in the second part of the first half of the season!

Had Martin Serna been on the board, I'm still not sure what I would have done. Still...if this season's taught me anything, it's that we have enough problems, and lousy defense ain't going to help. Jose Badillo made me pause for a moment, but he resembled Mike Houchins way too much, and that scared me off.

Ray Butner's got me really excited - getting him was like having another first round pick. He was a selection along the lines of Ryan Wagner or Chad Cordero, and I think it'll pay off.

Chris Scarborough will pay off more...health willing. That's a big if, but he could be in the rotation by the All Star Break next year. I don't want to put the wait of the franchise on the kid...but it's certainly better than forcing Ryan Wing to be our savior.

[cknox0723]

And speaking of the American League's Western Division...somehow, it's still June 1st and we're beginning a four game set with the 38-14 juggernaut of Seattle.

S-Bomb!

Crap. Well, at least it's at home, where we're almost competent. But don't forget - we're 1-15 against the AL West. But to be the eternal optimist - if we win one game in this series, our winning percentage against our Western brethren will creep ever so closer to .200!

That's pathetic. What the heck am I thinking?

Ah, enough of that - all we can really focus on is today. And we have a chance today, since it'll be a match of fifth starters. And while I don't know what to expect from Jon "Shrinking Man" Rauch, think back to his debut. That was a fine, fine performance. And his counterpart, Jason Young, is a turkey (a scurvy knave might be more appropriate), carrying an ERA over six and a penchant for allowing screaming line drives.

A record crowd (for us, at least) of around 15,000 settles in as The Hypothetical Power Forward finishes his warmups and settles in to face leadoff hitter Chris Snelling. Rauch misses badly with his first two pitches, allowing me to start thinking about covering my eyes, but his third pitch is a breaking ball that ties Snelling up pretty well. He fists a comebacker right to Rauch, and there's one out. Doug Mientkiewhatever grounds out to Brad Fullmer at first on a 3-1 pitch, and Man-Beast Adam Dunn strikes out on three pitches. Jon Rauch - major league pitcher.

A couple of groundouts are sandwiched around one heck of catch by Chris Snelling in foul territory, and Jason Turkey gets through the first unscathed.

Cleanup hitter Ichiro! (cleanup hitter Ichiro!? ) starts off the second by grounding to second base for the first out, but Rauch's next pitch is a hanger. Rich Aurilia is all over it, hitting a shot down the third base line, but Joe Crede makes a diving stop and rifles a bullet across the diamond to nail Aurilia by a step. It's apocalyptic, in a sense - I just clapped for Joe "Bonehead" Crede. Every dog has his day, I suppose. The rapidly aging, slumping Robin Ventura flies out to center field and the inning's in the books.

Brad Fullmer leads off the bottom of the second inning with a base hit up the middle, and of course he's got the green light on the next pitch, for Joe Borchard is the next batter. Incredibly, J.Y.'s first pitch is the deuce, and that allows Fullmer enough time to beat Dan Wilson's throw down to second. Even more incredibly, Borchard works the count to two-and-one and actually moves the runner up with a ground out to second base. See, he may be hitting .188, but he knows how to hit behind the runner, damn it! That's the kind of stuff that you can only see if you watch the...oh, never mind. Hacktastic Julio follows, and being the ungulate that he is, he takes a 1-2 slider right on the inside half for strike three. Son of a gun. But in some sense, it's OK, because Young complains of arm trouble after the pitch, and after a long conference, he's removed from the game. Normally, I'd be sad that The Turkey wouldn't stay in to be pummelled, but seven and a third is a long time for any bullpen to go. Unfortunately, Rafael Soriano comes in, and after 1000 warmups, Joe Crede digs in. He somehow works the count full, and, since he's a Bonehead, sits waiting for a fastball on the 3-2. But that's exactly what Soriano goes with, and Crede clobbers it to deep left. But being as he's Joe Crede, he gets under it, and Adam Dunn tracksit down near the wall. But it's encouraging that Joe Crede resembles a baseball player today.

Rauch retires Ramon Santiago and Dan Wilson on ground balls to start the third, but that brings up the pitcher. Based on past events, I'm kind of worried about Raffy Soriano going yard, but Bob Melvin absolutely stuns me by sending up Carlos Lee to pinch-hit. Lee strokes a single to left, ending all delusions of no-hitters and grandeur, but Chris Snelling grounds to short two pitches later and...Julio Lugo bobbles it. Hacktastic Julio may be a tasty nickname, but I'm starting to call him Frigging Lugo more often. Doug Mientkiecrap follows with a lined single up the middle, and I want to throw something. I half-expect Adam Dunn to launch a 900 foot home run just to push me to the verge of homicide, but instead he pops out. Can a 27 year old be the Rookie That Plays Surprisingly Well?

Ben Weber comes on for the third inning, and though feared batters like Piazza and Rauch actually make solid contact, we go down in order.

Rauch continues to make me shake my head in amazement by retiring Ichiro! on a comebacker to start the fourth and getting the next two batters, Aurilia and Ventura, to hit fly balls to Borch in center field. But D.Y., Mags, and nickname-less Brad Fullmer go down quickly and quietly in the bottom half. Maybe facing this Seattle bullpen for seven and a third won't be the most fun in the world?

Facing the bottom of the order, Rauch makes a nice pitch on 3-2 and then makes a nice play, snaring a hard-hit shot back through the box off the bat of Ramon Santiago. Dan Wilson pops out to left, but rookie pinch-hitter Ryan Church cracks a double to right-center. I send Jamison Bryan out to the mound at that point and tell him to say something like, "Go right at that sum'bitch, Rauchy", and The Hypothetical Power Forward responds, inducing Chris Snelling to hit an inning-ending can o' corn to Mags.

Chad "Best Career ERA of All Pitchers with a Last Name Starting With 'Z'" Zerbe, a southpaw, comes into the game for the fifth. He walks Joe "6-56 against lefties" Borchard on five pitches to commence the inning, and I can almost smell the runs. But then Julio Lugo comes up, and I can almost envision the double play. Instead, he walks. Hey! He walks! I've been wanting to write that sentence for a couple of weeks now! Lefty Destroyer Joe Crede comes up, and I'm thinking it's time for a three-run jack. But he falls behind one-two and takes an awkward feminine cut at a fastball to strike out. What the heck is going on? To further my confusion, Mike Piazza follows, takes a couple of pitches outside the strike zone, and hits a rope to center field. But Ichiro! displays his world-saving techniques with a sliding catch, and I curse the influence of Japanese baseball. With two outs, two on, and the pitcher's slot up, I decide that I've got to lift Rauch, just as in his first start, but Brian Buchanan flies out to center field. Suddenly, I'm not feeling so confident about this one.

Lefties galore are due up for Seattle in the sixth, but Mike Gallo just doesn't have the proverbial "it", and puts a couple guys on before surrendering a run-scoring double off of the right field fence to Rich Aurilia. The next batter is left-handed Robin Ventura, and he puts a 2-0 hanger over the wall in right to make the score 5-0.

We finally get on the board in the bottom half when Magglio and B.F. (worst. nickname. ever.) knock consecutive two-out doubles to opposite sides of the ballpark. But Joe "Rally Killer" Borchard grounds out to third to end whatever minimal threat we have, and we enter the final third of the game trailing by four.

A combination of Gallo and Joe Roa manage to get through the seventh, and with the six-seven-eight hitters due up for us, I'm actually hoping that we go down in order so Roa can go another inning. Of course, Mike Piazza picks this time to draw a two-out walk, and not wanting to quash even a minor threat, I do what I'm impelled to and insert Jeremy Reed to pinch-hit. He quickly falls behind 0-2 against Julio Mateo, but hangs tough and works the count even. Mateo's 2-2 offering is a high slider, and Reed crushes it to deep right-center, but Chris Snelling crashes into the wall to make a catch that my description doesn't do justice. Damn.

Why do we have to play these freaking AL West teams anyway?

P.J. Bevis, my main man, comes in for the eighth since everyone else is pretty much dead, and despite making an error, he's thoroughly dominant and needs just eight pitches to get through the inning. The top of the order's up in our half of the inning, and if we're ever going to win this game, this is our chance.

Ramon Vazquez draws a leadoff walk, but we go down in order after that. Bevis rolls through the ninth, but 'Tavio Dotel comes in for a four-run save...oops, just to get work, I suppose. He's not at his sharpest, to say the least, and we manage to load the bases with the lugnuts of Julio Lugo, Joe Crede, and Enrique Wilson, but with two outs, representing the tying run, Ramon Vazquez grounds out to first and we can't pull off the comeback.

SEA 5 CHW 1

WP: R. Soriano (1-2) - 0.1 IP (he left in the third when it was still scoreless, so I guess the win goes to the first reliever in that case. that's weird - I didn't know that)
LP: J. Rauch (1-1) - 5 IP, 3 H, 1 R, 0 ER, 0 BB, 1 K (thanks, Julio! keep up the butchery!)

Game Ball Goes To... Jason Young, for getting hurt and allowing real, live major league pitchers to defeat us. I would've hated to lose to The Turkey, anyway.

[Vris]

I think pulling Rauch was your biggest mistake. Were you going for the win? If not, what more do you have to lose to let the kid pitch another inning and keep the game scoreless? Your bullpen is overworked as it is. The kid has to prove he can win a game for you.

He could very well be the Rookie Who Plays Surprisingly Well, but let him show you that. 10 innings in 2 starts? Let the kid pitch. White Sox fans want to know what Rauch can do!

[cknox0723]

Originally Posted by Vris

I think pulling Rauch was your biggest mistake. Were you going for the win? If not, what more do you have to lose to let the kid pitch another inning and keep the game scoreless? Your bullpen is overworked as it is. The kid has to prove he can win a game for you.

He could very well be the Rookie Who Plays Surprisingly Well, but let him show you that. 10 innings in 2 starts? Let the kid pitch. White Sox fans want to know what Rauch can do!

I figured with the tying run on second, the lead run on first, and a left-hander on the mound, I'd be flogged if I didn't pinch-hit, since Brian Buchanan is a legitimate threat in that situation.

In hindsight...I don't know, I'm not sure that I wouldn't've done the same thing. I'm not one to forego a chance to score or win a game...but you're absolutely right, Rauch needs a chance to work deep into a game. But at the very least, if I ever want to go to an 8-man rotation, there's at least one guy to plug in there!

[cknox0723]

I've been content with the monthly statistical updates, but I think an exception's got to be made for our most recent game for our A-ball club, Winston-Salem. In winning their twenty second game of the season, a couple of fresh faces made a couple of auspicious debuts. Well, actually one guy had a heck of a first professional game, and the other guy was kind of just there. The line scores?

WP: C. Scarborough (1-0) - 8 IP, 4 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 8 K
LP: ????
S: R. Butner (1) - 1 IP, 0 H, 2 BB, 1 K

Go Warthogs!

[cknox0723]

I normally save this stuff for an off-day, but it's almost a month old, and I just caught it myself, so I figured I'd throw out the news that there's been one no-hitter in the league this year. It was way back on May seventh, in a matchup between the Halos and the Devil Fishies.

The odd part? It was a combined no-hitter, as Glendon Rusch and Troy Percival split the task of blanking the fearsome ninesome of Baldelli, Rolls, Huff, Phelps, Baldiris (who the hell is that?), Blum, Hall, and Cruz. That is an ugly lineup.

Oh, and Rusch was removed for a pinch-hitter in the top of the ninth in a 3-0 game. After having thrown just 90 pitches, and allowing nary a hit. Why don't you just rip the number off his jersey in the middle of the game, too?

But Percival did shut 'em down in the ninth to complete the no-no, and you know what? Their names are in the record books now. Far better pitchers have done far less.

[cknox0723]

The bullpen's absolutely exhausted, so the Out-Sucking Machine is back down to Charlotte for a 10-day stretch and one of the better stories in our minor league system, Rick Hummel, is up. He's a middle reliever with OK minor league peripherals but ERA's in the mid-threes at every level. Most importantly, though, he's rested.

But I don't plan on using him today, for our hottest pitcher is on the hill. It's Mark Buerhle, five days removed from a complete game shutout and fresh off a 5-1 May. Unfortunately, he faces yet another remnant from that burgeoning Seattle-Japan relationship, Tomokazu Ohka, owner of a 5-1 record and 2.52 ERA. I get the feeling we're in for a pitcher's duel.

Buerhle does his part in the top of the first, sandwiching strikeouts of Chris Snelling and Adam Dunn around a base hit by Bret Boone, and ending the inning by snagging a liner off of Ichiro!'s bat.

Jeremy Reed leads off the bottom of the first with a bloop single, and when D.Y. works a 2-0 count, I'm starting to think, "Hey, this is the Tomo Ohka we all know and love". But D.Y. flies out on the next pitch. Magpipes Ordonez follows and works the count to three-and-two. Now I'm waiting for the double play, but he just gets a piece of a tough breaking ball to stay alive and then works the walk. First and second, one out, I'm all on the double steal. And Reed and Ordonez pull it off, and we have a big one-out threat with NYJ's man, Brad Fullmer, at bat. He hits a long sac fly to center, and we seize the lead. Carpe gagnare? Mike Piazza grounds out to second on a 2-0 pitch to end the inning, but I've got this delusion that one run could be enough with The Buerhle One twirling like he is.

Take the top of the second, for instance. Robin Ventura leads off, and stares at a two-two pitch right over the heart of the plate. Doug Mientkiesuck follows, and facing the same count, he at least takes a hack, albeit a weak one that comes up empty. After seeing the results of the two guys before him, Ramon Santiago at least goes up hacking, but he taps the second pitch right to Brad Fullmer who takes it to the bag himself. Where would we be without The Buerhle One? There are only a few people in this world that I'm truly unable to describe. Mark Buerhle's becoming one of 'em.

We bow out in order in the second, and the only notable plate appearance is Ramon Vazquez's, a three-pitch strikeout that drops his batting average to .257. (He's 4 for his last 23, though his average with us is still near .300 - I've been thinking about signing him to a contract extension and getting some cost certainty over the next few years, for I really like Vazquez. Make sense? What do y'all think?)

Dan Wilson, also known as A Carcass With Shin Guards, somehow starts off the third inning with a line drive single to left. Ohka bunts him up, and Chris Snelling strikes out. 2 outs for Bret Boone with Man-Beast Adam Dunn on deck. Uh-oh. And I'm not surprised that The World Series Hero makes solid contact with Buerhle's 1-1 slider, but it's also not a huge surprise that it's a liner right at Brad Fullmer. I credit Buerhle's "avoid hits" rating to that one.

Speaking of avoiding hits...we do just that in the bottom of the third, though Jeremy Reed displays warning track power for the second out. Despite the fact that Ohka Tomo's retired seven in a row, I'm PUMPED like Rob in Phoenix , for the heart of the order's up next inning and we're still winning.

The heart of the Seattle order is also due up, though, and commencing the trio is The Man-Beast, who takes a mammoth cut at Buerhle's first pitch of the inning only to get way under it. Jeremy Reed eventually makes the grab, and that's one out. Ichiro!'s also hacking, but he bounces a changeup right to Ramon Vazquez. Robin Ventura (why is he hitting fifth, anyway?) fouls out to Piazza, and I could dance a jig if I was so inclined.

Bottom four. Mags leads off, and draws my wrath by hacking at a 3-1 pitch and grounding out to second base. Faced with the same count some four minutes later, Brad Fullmer does as he should, takes the pitch, and draws a free pass. Who's the superstar of this team again? I don't know...but it certainly ain't Piazza or Vazquez, for they go down with, at best, a whimper, and we enter the fifth still clinging to our 1-0 lead.

And Buerhle loses it. "It", in this case, is merely his control, and it's only ephemeral. But he does back himself into a two ball, no strike count against Doug Blah Blah Blah, and Mientkielbasa drives the next pitch to deep right field. It's enough to make me hold my breath, but the ball doesn't have enough legs, and Mags tracks it down at the wall. Whew. And since he's an ace, Buerhle responds by racking up his sixth and seventh K's (along with his first walk, but that's small beans) to put the inning to rest.

After Joe Crede does his typical crap to start the bottom of the fifth, Julio Lugo actually draws a walk. And with Buerhle up next, I give Frigging Lugo the green light. He takes off on the second pitch...and Dan Wilson's throw is high. Unbelievable. Buerhle ends up striking out, but Jeremy Reed's still got a chance to drive home a runner. And...well, I just inputted some of my nicknames in the game, so after Reed turns on a 2-1 breaking ball, I got to see this line for the first time:

"That's an RBI double for Clutch God."

Beautiful. D.Y. gets under the next pitch and flies out to left to end the inning, but now Buerhle has some room for error.

Chris Snelling lines The Buerhle One's first pitch of the sixth inning into left-center for a base hit, and I immediately get our own Asian contingent up in the bullpen. But it's unnecessary, for the next batter, Bret Boone...bunts. He bunts, down two in the sixth. Go figure. With Adam Dunn and Ichiro! following, it sort of makes sense, though. And The Man-Beast does what he does so well. Strike out. Ichiro! follows with a single over Lugo's head, though, and the lead's been halved thanks to the genius of Bob Melvin. Manager of the Year! Maybe there's something to it, though, as Buerhle falls behind Robin Ventura three-and-one. I start to rock back and forth like Leo Mazzone, but Ventura pops up the next pitch on the infield, Lugo squeezes it, and we've still got the lead through five-and-a-half.

We've still got it through six, too, though if an offense could ever score a negative amount of runs, it's this one. The results of the heart of our order? Line out, ground out 1-3, ground out 1-3. Murderers' Row? More like a trio of bad check writers...

The Polish Guy With A Long Name leads off the top of the seventh with a base hit to right. Ramon Santiago follows with a sacrifice, bringing up feared clutch veteran game-caller Dan Wilson. He whiffs, since he certainly wasn't going to get on base for a third consecutive game, and Carlos Lee pinch-hits for Ohka. Two outs, tying run at second...

"One ball and no strikes to Carlos Lee, a former teammate of the man he's battling, Mark Buerhle. It could be the southpaw's last batter, and it's a big one, with a chance for the Chicago lead to disappear with one swing of the bat. Buerhle, from the stretch, toes the rubber and peers in at Lee. He comes to the set...the pitch, fastball and it's bounced right back to him! He gloves it, he tosses to Brad Fullmer, and that'll end the inning! Mark Buerhle comes through again, and the White Sox hold onto their 2-1 lead!"

Left-handed Chad Zerbe (think that's pronounced zur-bay or zurb or zur-bee?) sets down Vazquez, Crede, and Lugo in order in the bottom of inning number seven, allowing me to send Buerhle back out for one more frame. Confidently, idealistically, foolishly, I do.

Buerhle falls behind leadoff hitter Chris Snelling two and oh, and his third pitch ends up rolling through the grass in right field. Bret Boone follows. And he bunts. Again. That brings up...the pitcher's slot! Apparently Bob Melvin double-switched when he brought Zerbe in, to keep Carlos Lee in the game. So Rich Aurilia, not The Man-Beast, comes up with the tying run at second. Still a threat...but boy, Bob Melvin is a silly man. I bite my tongue, send Jamison Bryan out to the mound to tell Buerhle to be careful, but don't take that long, slow walk out to the mound myself. And Buerhle responds, battling Aurilia and throwing a nasty 3-2 slider that the shortstop can't touch. It's the tenth strikeout of the game for The Buerhle One, but despite all my fist-pumping, we're still not out of the clear. Ichiro!'s the next batter, but I'm not about to let him beat us. I have Buerhle throw four long, wide ones and then finally take that long, slow walk out to the mound. Superfluous Kiko Calero comes on to face the quickly aging Robin Ventura, hitting .191 against right-handers this year. But Calero's not a LOOGY, ROOGY, or OOGY, and The Curse of Tony LaRussa strikes. Ventura singles to left to tie the game. I start dropping nasty words right and left when Calero proceeds to fall behind Doug M. two and oh, but the first baseman bounces the next pitch right to Ramon Vazquez, and the inning's over, no thanks to the Superfluous One.

Raffy Soriano comes on for the eighth and allows but a bloop single to D.Y.. Order is restored when Mags grounds the next pitch to second for the third out. His clutch rating should be 'suffers'.

Aki Otsuka is the easy choice for the ninth inning, and he gets ahead of Ramon Santiago oh-and-two. "Wonderful", I think, "a nice, easy inning." Instead, Santiago fouls off the next three pitches and after taking a ball, lines the seventh pitch of the at-bat in fair territory. Fortuitously, it's right at Joe Crede and it's an out. But it's also a precursor of what is to come, as pinch-hitter Ryan Church lines the first pitch he sees where no one can catch it. It's a shot that rolls into the right-field corner, and Church has his second pinch-hit double in two days. I walk Carlos Lee intentionally, since his run really doesn't matter, and up steps Quinton McCracken, who pinch-ran last inning and actually scored the tying run. "It's Q-Tip", I think. "No way he gets a hit."

RF Quinton McCracken:
SINGLES to right.
J. Mateo to third.
C. Lee to second.
Mateo tries to score...
He scores without a throw.

I always hated Quinton McCracken.

Two batters later, Rich Aurilia hits a two-run double to really muck things up. And then Ichiro!, the next batter, hits a hard shot up the middle, but Lugo makes a helluva play to end the inning on a rather positive note.

"Everyday" Eddie Guardado comes on for the three-run save in the ninth. I leave Brad Fullmer in to hit, since he can kind of hit, but he grounds out, and we're two outs away. But a glimmer of hope - Mike Piazza draws a walk. I pinch-hit Brian Buchanan for Ramon Vazquez, and the Lefty-Masher comes through with a base hit to left. And the tying run's coming to the plate!

In the form of Joe Crede. Sh*t.

But Everyday Eddie's first pitch to our third baseman is a splitter that hangs, and Crede actually gets a hit. Bases loaded! Winning run coming to the plate!

In the form of Julio Lugo. Why? Why? Why do I torture myself so? And with the pitcher up next and not a whole lot on the bench, I've got to let the Hacktastic One do his thing. I can't watch...

"The one-oh...fastball, ripped through the hole in left! Julio Lugo comes through! Buchanan's held at third, but a run scores and now the tying run's in scoring position!"

Guardado stays in. I pinch-hit with Lefty-Masher Miguel Olivo. He hit .342 against left-handers last year. The tying run's on second!

And Olivo bounces it right back to Guardado. It would have ended the game, but Ben Davis has more of a slingshot than a cannon, and so Seattle can't turn the 1-2-3 double play. But we're down to our last out, and Jeremy Reed, a lefty, is up. I'd pinch-hit...but there's no one. It's up to The Clutch God.

"The count's even on Jeremy Reed, one and one. Guardado takes a deep breath, spins the ball around in his glove, nods his head, and here's the pitch...splitter, and it's a fly ball to deep left-center! Ichiro is back...at the track...at the wall...and he slows up...and he'll make the catch. Oh, Jeremy Reed comes up but a few yards short! And the Mariners come away with the 5-3 victory."

SEA 5 CHW 3

WP: R. Soriano (2-2) - scoreless eighth
LP: A. Otsuka (2-3) - three runs in ninth
S: E. Guardado (2)

Game Ball Goes To... Not Akinori Otsuka, that's for sure. How's about Bob Melvin?

[Vris]

Ick. Not your finest moment, but it just goes to prove that your team can't decide which facet is worse: the offense or the bullpen.

As for Vazquez, you really can't not resign him. He's done more for your team than....well.....The Hacktastic One and The Out-Sucking Machine have done combined.

[cknox0723]

Originally Posted by Vris

Ick. Not your finest moment, but it just goes to prove that your team can't decide which facet is worse: the offense or the bullpen.

As for Vazquez, you really can't not resign him. He's done more for your team than....well.....The Hacktastic One and The Out-Sucking Machine have done combined.

Yes...there's times where I think the bullpen is just very misunderstood, and there's times where I think that the ERA's are pretty indicative of something. The offense is starting to drive me nuts, too - I'm thinking about trying to just trade for a bat. Anyone that can hit...but obviously most of those guys are first basemen or corner outfielders, and that ain't our problem.

As for re-signing? I'll have ramble about that at some point in the near future, for there could be a lot of turnover. With this outfit, that's probably for the best.