Oakland A's 2024 And Beyond Dynasty

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
20 May 2032
Nation overjoyed as world champs Oakland take the Yankees down a peg or two
By Vladimir Putin-Theirplace, asserted authority correspondent

The New York Yankees travelled to their series against Oakland this week in irritatingly arrogant mood. The pinstripes were riding high, leading the league with a 23-8 record. Oakland, while a solid enough 20-13, had somewhat flattered to deceive, and had been particularly inconsistent on the mound. Would this series mark the changing of the guard, and hint at an end to the era of A's domination of the American League? Or would the defending World Series champions assert their authority over the cocky usurpers?

The delight of the nation was unbridled when the world champions did what they needed to do. 3-0 Oakland, as it happened. In truth, they weren't wholly convincing performances from the A's. But they were nonetheless good enough to win three straight games, and Beane summed up the mood of the nation perfectly, when he said, simply, "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaa".

The Yankees head home with their tail between their legs, while the A's progress to 23-13 and back to the top of the AL West division. The LA Angels are hot on their tail, only half a game behind. The Haloes have the embarrassing distinction of never having won the division in the entire previous 17 seasons of the Dynastic Era of baseball. They started well last year before fading badly. Can they keep their challenge going better this time round?

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
1 June 2032
A's take catcher Trujillo and reliever Tovar in disappointing draft class; Hawkins returns with a bang
By Di Abolical-Scheidt, awful drafts correspondent

Oakland have selected catcher Ruben Trujillo and relief pitcher Jose Carlos Tovar in this year's player draft. 20-year-old Trujillo (no relation to the A's all-star first baseman Luis Trujillo) is an average catcher but projects to be a potentially decent batter. Tovar is another colleague graduate, who scouts project to 4.5*, but realistically he looks a minor leaguer who could at best become a throw-in to a larger trade. Good luck with your baseball career though, matey.

General manager Paulie Beane was upset about the quality of this year's draft pool, even by his standards of moaning. He explained to reporters that by the time Oakland picked, in position 29 of the first round, "All I was left with was a motley collection of fragile, fringe-prospect relievers and substandard batters. Seriously, just utter rubbish. Fortunately our farm system is already very strong, at least if you believe BNN have a clue what they're talking about."

Beane has been bolstered though by the return from injury of key batters Pepe Rios and Dennis Hawkins. Hawkins has been back for 2 games now, and has had an immediate impact, with the A's thrashing Baltimore 9-0 and then, yesterday, Minnesota 7-2. In yesterday's game it was like he had never been away, as he went 3-4 with a home run and a double. Oakland's recent form has been good more generally, much to the relief of all electronic equipment within easy reach of Beane's desk. They finished May 14-6, and now stand at 29-18 on the season, currently the best record in the American League and giving them a 3 game lead in the AL West division over the fast-improving Houston Astros. It looks like the much-maligned rotation has also started to get into the swing of things and join in the party, with Antonio Perez throwing a superb 5-hit shutout in the win over the Orioles. "About bleeding time", grumped Beane.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
21 June 2032
Vasquez joins rotation as Beane attempts to address sluggish rotation
By Hywel Heedoo, prospects anticipation correspondent

It has been a difficult season for the A's rotation so far this season. Possibly the pressure of being a clutch of all-stars has got to them (it hasn't). Perhaps they've over-performed in the past (no way) and simply aren't as good as everyone thinks they are (yes they are). Maybe we're judging them on sample sizes which are far too small (definitely). Maybe this is just a computer game (unarguable). Whatever the reason, Oakland GM Paulie Beane has finally made a move to try and tighten things up. Turning to an untried prospect may not sound like a hugely sensible move in these circumstances, but that's what he's done nonetheless.

MLB official statistics show that the A's have now returned to their traditional position, aided by their ballpark, of having the lowest team ERA in the American League. But it's still not great by their standards at 3.85. The last time they finished a season with an ERA that high was in 2021, the last time the club failed to qualify for the playoffs. They finished 76-86 that season and, while the Oakland lineup looks too powerful to let the team slip to that level this time, a distinctly unimpressed Beane has acted to improve matters.

Last year's draftee reliever Esteban Mendez returns to the minors. In 12 appearances he is 1-0 with a 4.61 ERA, but an unsustainable .212 BABIP has helped him out big-time, and his 4.44 FIP betrays his true performance levels. "Bless him, he's tried hard", said Beane, patronisingly, to reporters yesterday. "He'll be back here before too long." Weak of stamina starter Carl Bates, who, by the way, continues to disappoint all the prospective girlfriends he has liaisons with, reverts to his preferred starter role. BNN's #3 prospect, lefty Anastasio Vasquez, is promoted into the fifth starter role on the roster and will make his major league debut later this week.

Oakland beat divisional rivals Houston 4-2 in Minute Maid Park yesterday, with Luis Trujillo smacking his 17th homer of the year, but lost the three-game series 2-1. That leaves the A's 38-27 on the season, just 2 games clear of the Astros. LA Angels have fallen back to 32-32 but can't be written off, even by a newspaper as cavalier and bonkers in its opinions as this one.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
23 June 2032
Unfortunate Torres done for the season, and likely done with the A's
By Anne Culligaments, ankle injuries correspondent

Oakland starting centre fielder Juan Torres may have played his last game for the club. Torres tore ankle ligaments running the bases after having been inserted as a pinch runner in Monday's game against San Diego. A's physio Walter Proofplasters yesterday ruled him out of action for at least 3 months.

The 30-year-old's $4m per year contract is due to expire at the end of this season, and pundits speculated he might shortly have become the latest ageing player to be traded in for a younger model by GM Paulie Beane at the deadline. With Torres on the disabled list, that won't now happen. "Foiled. I would have gotten away with it, if it hadn't been for those pesky ligaments", grumbled Beane. Torres is now expected to become a free agent after this campaign.

Salvador Ortiz and promoted Jean-Francois Pelletier will jointly man the centre field position for now. They'll have probably two or three weeks to impress Beane and persuade him he doesn't need to seek an upgrade via trade before the deadline.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
12 July 2032
Alliteration pandemonium as poor performances and projected payroll pressures produce pair of problems for Paulie
By Ally Teration, letter P correspondent

Oakland GM Paulie Beane has passed most tests the job has thrown at him over the last decade, often with flying colours. But he is now facing what could be the biggest one of the lot. The team's flatlining form and a horrendous payroll forecast for 2034 are both giving him severe headaches. Sales of paracetamol and whisky in the Coliseum district have both seen an uptick.

First headache inducer: the team this year. They won last night, shortstop Liam Brown hitting 3-5 with a home run and two doubles as the Rangers were beaten 7-5. That moved them on to 49-36 for the season. Not bad, but not as good as A's fans have become accustomed to. And, given they were 29-18 at the start of June, it means Beane's boys have basically been playing .500 ball for the past six weeks. Houston have caught them up, and, while the Astros' half game lead in the American League West is hardly too worrying, the two teams are currently on different trajectories that, if they continue, will only see that gap grow. It seems Beane is stumped so far about what to do. Offensive production is better than AL average - combined with great pitching that has been plenty enough to win the World Series seven times in the past. Defensive displays have been good at Beane's critical catcher, infield and centre field positions. The bullpen have been good. It's the starting rotation where the problem lies. The rotation shouldn't be a concern; it's packed with all-stars. Their individual ERAs and FIPs aren't too bad. Karl Dickson seems to have lost the edge that made him a Cy Young winning ace a few years ago, but he's still very good. Antonio Perez is struggling but he's still only 22 and Beane wants to stick with him. Carl Bates has moved to his preferred bullpen role and Anastasio Vasquez is up from the minors. Sources say Beane is reluctant to trade and tear up a rotation which on paper (okay, on iPad) is better than the one which won the World Series last year. Unless he has a rabbit up his sleeve, he may just let the season play out, and say que cera cera.

Beane's other problem is his looming next budget crisis. Not now, but in 2034. It's been a year or two since the last crisis and he's missed them. Beane attributes a lot of his success over his opponents' Computer AI systems to his ability to plan ahead, so yesterday he attended a financial planning meeting with team accountant Dee Loite, and reportedly badly jarred his jaw on the table when it dropped in amazement as he reviewed the figures. Key players Perez, Bates, relievers Nathan Boyd and Frank Sargent, and catcher Miguel Mason are all expected to reach arbitration at the end of the 2033 season. Loite had estimated their arbitration awards for 2034, and it didn't look pretty. Downright ugly, in fact. Loite's estimates, combined with current or contracted salaries for the rest of the staff, put the A's payroll at a disheartening $195m. Owner Ban-ki Rupt's budget will probably be its usual $150m. "Sweet baby Jesus and the orphans!", Beane swore, rubbing his bruised chin. Some big earners or projected earners are going to be on their way out of the organisation in the not too distant future.

It feels like the A's run of postseason appearances could be coming to an end. Can Beane solve these problems and keep the team's incredible bandwagon rolling, and if not, can he get it back on the rails again?

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
13 July 2032
Oakland Get Carter
By Blockbuster Posey, big trades correspondent

Well, well, well. Has Oakland general manager Paulie Beane only gone and pulled a rabbit out of a hat? Baseball watchers across the country were left astounded and intrigued last night after Beane announced that the A's had traded with American League West title challengers Houston to acquire 26-year-old five-time all-star starting pitcher Greg Carter. Carter has incredible stuff and a fantastic slider and changeup. His one weakness is a dearth of stamina; in recent seasons he has typically only got through 190-200 innings. Beane will feel that isn't a problem with his dynamic bullpen to turn to later in games. Carter is on $17.3m this year, and then begins a 7-year, $19.6m deal that he had signed with the Astros only at the end of May. Superb long-term strategic planning from the Astros, there. The addition of his salary onto the books in fact worsens the A's budget problems for 2034 and surely means that one or both of Oakland's other high earners, Karl Dickson and Alejandro Gusman, will be leaving within the next year or so.

The A's also acquired 24-year-old minor league shortstop James Collins in the deal. Moving the other way was Oakland's lefty starter Nathan Hamilton. The 28-year-old has terrific ability, but his statistics seemed to suffer from being a fly ball pitcher on a team geared up to groundballers, and Beane was clearly prepared to let him go. The Astros also wanted perennial minor leaguer pitchers Chris Adams, Ricardo O'Quinn and Marcos Blanco as part of the exchange. They didn't have a look in at the Coliseum, but Adams has joined Hamilton in Houston's rotation, while Blanco has gone into their bullpen.

A's fans were sad to see Hamilton depart but were beside themselves with excitement about Carter's arrival. A 100% reliable (honest, guv) snap telephone survey hastily conducted last night concluded that fan interest had gone through the roof at news of the deal. But is this enthusiasm premature? One of the two rivals has probably inadvertently scuppered their postseason chances with this trade - but which one?

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
19 July 2032
All-star call ups illustrate A's sub-par pitching displays this season
By Paul Starcallups, friendly fixtures correspondent

In previous years, it has been pretty usual for Oakland to place at least three or four pitchers on the American League all-star roster. In a sobering, but utterly fair, reflection on the A's pitching this season, they placed precisely one on the 2032 roster, which was announced last night: closer Jose Duran, who leads the AL in saves with 26. Evidence again, were more required, about what a meaningless statistic the save is; in reality Duran has been inconsistent this year. But, that's his first all-star selection, so well done to him.

The other Oakland player called up, and also making his first all-star roster, is shortstop Liam Brown. That selection is thoroughly deserved. He's been sensational this year, posting a .348 on-base percentage, 12 home runs and 58 RBIs. Well done to him, also.

While Duran was booking his plane tickets to the game, Beane called the rest of the pitching staff in for extra training last night. The A's and Houston are locked in a fierce title race. The 52-39 A's are half a game in deficit behind the Astros. It has the feeling of a battle that could go right down to the wire.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
30 July 2032
Bates out for season, but fans excited as Lee is promoted
By Juan Dredd-Milesperhour, flame-throwing pitching correspondent

He's a fairly wet weekend at the best of times, but fragile receiver Carl Bates has outdone himself by getting ruled out for the rest of the season through injury. The poor little lamb tore his triceps pitching in relief in last night's 5-1 win against useless Arizona. Physio Walter Proofplasters says he won't be fit again for 3-4 months. The 22-year-old Bates has fitted right into the rest of the pitching staff, by also having had a mixed bag of a season, going 6-2 with a 4.86 ERA.

Fans had the edge taken off their disappointment at losing Bates when the exciting news came through that GM Paulie Beane had replaced him in the bullpen with rocket-armed young reliever Brandon Lee. The 20-year-old, the fastest pitcher in the country at 101+ mph, has been working with pitching coach Ace Onballs since he was drafted on improving his control. It's still the weakest aspect of his game, but Beane is satisfied it's now good enough to give him a shot at the big leagues.

Yesterday's win against the Diamondbacks, while it came at a price, moved the A's to 57-41. They are locked in a terrific battle with Houston, who have a 1 game lead in the American League West. With the trade deadline tomorrow, it looks like Beane has made his mid-season moves now and the Oakland roster as it stands is that which will attempt to retain the world title.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
24 August 2032
A's surprisingly remain in contention despite disjointed and inconsistent form
By Paul Yourhairout, frustration correspondent

This is probably the most frustrating season of general manager Paulie Beane's tenure at the club. On paper, the roster looks very strong, and, if anything, stronger than the squad which became World Series champions last year. Somehow - well, thanks to the widespread mediocrity in the American League this season - they remain in contention for the postseason, with, incredibly, the second best record in the AL behind divisional rivals Houston. But that cannot disguise the fact that the A's are quite simply not playing well and are heading in the wrong direction. Many of the team are underperforming compared to their ability and what they've done in previous recent seasons, not least that dratted rotation.

After series against Boston and Tampa Bay, the A's last night rounded off a typically erratic 3-4 week reach 66-54, putting them 3 games behind the Astros. It says a lot about the standard of this year's league that they actually lead the wildcard race, with a 2.5 game cushion over third-placed Boston. The A's just seem unable to string together a run of victories, and since a bright start have essentially been playing .500 ball most of the year. Beane has reportedly signed up for extra yoga lessons in a vain effort to prevent his frustration coming out in the form of the sudden destruction of low-lying office equipment and anything else which makes a satisfying smashing noise when coming into contact with a baseball bat.

Speaking at last night's post-match press conference after yesterday's typically irritating 7-5 loss to the Rays, Beane refused to point the finger at any individual player, but it doesn't take a genius to work out which players he was referring to when he talked of "some guys not playing close to their ability" and "guys who should examine their consciences long and hard about whether what they're producing on the pitch reflects the stupendous wages this organisation is paying them". It will be the likes of Greg Carter (1-4, 5.29 since joining via trade), Brad Dundee (9-7, 4.36), Luis Trujillo (.312 OBP) and Alejandro Gusman (.692 OPS). There are only 42 games left for these leaders of the team to turn the ship around.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
9 September 2032
Sweep of Astros improbably returns A's to summit of American League West
By Will I. Neverdid, unexpected events correspondent

In a tremendous example of how anything can happen in the sport of baseball, spluttering world champions Oakland have suddenly jumped back to the top of the American League West after yesterday completing an unexpected 3-0 series sweep over divisional title rivals Houston. A's back office staff rushed out to buy lottery tickets in an effort to capitalise on the organisation's apparent recent run of luck. The A's outscored the Astros 14-4 over the three games, which saw a rare and unexpected outbreak of competence from their much-maligned starting rotation.

Karl Dickson pitched 8.1 innings for 1 earned run in game one, and Joe Byrd, temporarily promoted to the rotation in place of injured Antonio Perez, threw 7 innings for 1 earned run in the next. You could have got good odds against a third straight dose of straight pitching in the final game of the series, but Brad Dundee produced the goods, going a full 9 innings and giving up just 2 runs. After missing all last season through injury, Dundee predictably struggled during the first part of the season, but now looks like he might have found his mojo again. He really ought to have looked after the mojo more carefully in the first place.

The win pushes Oakland to 74-60, and a wafer-thin half game lead over Houston. They also have only a narrow 2.5 game lead over third-place Tampa Bay in the wildcard race, so a lot could change yet. GM Paulie Beane said, "It was a great display by the lads against Houston, but if I'm honest it reflects badly on the standard of the American League this year that we're in this position despite our inconsistency all year. Hopefully we can take advantage of that and push on from here, but given how this season has gone I'm frankly not holding my breath."

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
10 September 2032
Player in focus: Alejandro Gusman
Our player profiling expert, Lou Kingatyoukid, is not the sharpest tool in the box. For instance. Earlier this summer he took a short career break from journalism to go travelling. When he returned home to Oakland, he completely forgot he worked here, and took a new job as a risk assessment coordinator in a gasoline and match factory. Fortunately for him, his output of articles was historically so dire that it took our "improving" HR department two months to realise he hasn't been turning up for work. Three industrial accidents later, Lou realised that safety wasn't his area of expertise and suddenly remembered he still had another job. He has now returned to the Telegraph, and has churned out this profile of A's second baseman Alejandro Gusman in a desperate and largely futile attempt to avoid a terrible mid-year review appraisal from his line manager.

Role
Increasingly overpaid second baseman who struggles to hit but walks and steals a lot.

Nickname
None. The OOTP random nickname generator has been rather lazy with some of these A's guys.

Career history
Gusman was drafted as a 17-year-old by Baltimore with the third overall pick of the 2020 draft. He was rated by BNN as the #5 prospect in 2021 and #4 in 2022, reflecting the high ceiling scouts put on the young man. He played in 57 games for the Orioles at the end of the 2022 and 2023 seasons, before being traded to Oakland in a deal which saw the A's balance their budget by shedding the expensive contracts of the excellent but ageing third baseman Jake Lamb and pitcher Yordano Ventura. Gusman played mainly as infield reserve in 2024 as the A's retained the World Series, and then has been a regular starter for the eight seasons since, during which time the A's have won four more world championships. His defense used to be a real weakness, but he worked hard on his game with A's fielding coach Mr Catch, and is now a well above average second baseman. Ahead of the 2030 season he signed a 4-year, $23m per year contract to remain at Oakland, but his performances have steadily declined since then and there is speculation as to whether in the offseason GM Paulie Beane may decide his career at the Coliseum is done and try to trade him. He has led the A's in walks the last five years and in stolen bases the last six years.

Career highlights
5 World Series rings (Oakland 2024, Oakland 2025, Oakland 2026, Oakland 2029, Oakland 2031)
6 AL championship pennants (Oakland 2024, Oakland 2025, Oakland 2026, Oakland 2028, Oakland 2029, Oakland 2031)
5 AL West pennants (Oakland 2026, Oakland 2028, Oakland 2029, Oakland 2030, Oakland 2031)
2 AL all-star selections (2027, 2028)

Hobbies
Excessive use of hyperbole, collecting items from the Lego "Chima" range.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
20 September 2032
A's overcome 9-run deficit to beat Seattle, go 5.5 games clear in AL West
By X. Sellant-Comeback, fightbacks correspondent

The Oakland A's moved to 5.5 games clear of Houston in the American League West division last night, after an extraordinary come-from-behind win against Seattle which saw them recover from falling 9-0 down early in the game. General manager Paulie Beane joked after the game, "After the 3rd inning I was pulling my hair out. After the 7th I was frantically trying to glue it all back on again."

Seattle established their big early lead after scoring 3 runs in each of the first 3 innings. Starting pitcher Antonio Perez gave up the first 6 runs, although he wasn't helped by his so-called mate Juan Jimenez committing an error at third base that led to the second 3 being unearned. Field manager Phil D'Manager sensibly pulled Perez but inexplicably put in reliever Sergio Chavez to pitch the 3rd inning, and he promptly gave up 3 more runs. Chavez was a September call-up who Beane didn't even put on D'Manager's rotation/bullpen chart, and who promptly became a September demotee immediately after the game.

The hint that all might not be lost for an Oakland team who have played well the last fortnight or so, came in the top of the 4th when left fielder William Morris blasted a 3-run bomb, his 20th homer of the season. The 24,000 fans in Safeco Field started to get audibly nervous at that point, and that seemed to infect the confidence of their team. And the Mariners' lead evaporated in the 6th when a double from shortstop Liam Brown, who has been in scintillating form since returning from the disabled list five days ago, doubled to help the A's score 6 runs and tie it at 9-9. When Rob Dyment pinch-hit a 2-run homer in the 7th, the Mariners players' confidence was smashed, and it was little surprise when Oakland scored 3 more in the top of the 9th to wrap up a remarkable 14-9 win. Seattle's GM is nameless and entirely fictitious, but was nevertheless heard sobbing in the dressing room after the game.

The win moves Oakland to 80-63, and a 5.5 game lead over Houston. The in-form Rangers are just a further game behind. Fans with long memories and a staunch willingness to read the dozens of articles written by this dreadful newspaper may recall that the ominous Rangers went on a phenomenal run over the final weeks of the 2024 season to pip the A's to the AL West title. Oakland will be hoping that something similar doesn't happen again this year.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
4 October 2032
A's close in on the AL West title as season enters its final week
By Neil Lee There, verge of winning correspondent

When chroniclers look back on this season, and let's face it baseball is the one sport that is not short of avid chroniclers, they will find it hard to explain exactly how the 2032 vintage of the Oakland A's made it to the brink of the postseason. On paper, okay on iPad, they should indeed be postseason contenders. But in practice they've been fairly, what's the technical term, crap.

The past 3-3 week against the distinctly ordinary Seattle Mariners and Arizona Diamondbacks teams typified their erratic season, but, by hook or by crook, and definitely not by having a lights-out starting rotation, the A's stand poised to make the playoffs for the eleventh consecutive year. They owe a toast to the opposing GMs in their division, who, by overuse of their Computer AI team management software, have somehow contrived to build rosters who have played even more erratically than Paulie Beane's motley crew. The A's now stand at 86-70, needing 3 wins from their last 6 games to be sure of making the postseason.

There is no margin for error, however, as the peloton are bunching up menacingly behind their yellow jerseys. They have a 4.5 game lead over Houston and a 5 game lead over both Texas and the Los Angeles Angels. And their concluding fixtures are 3 games away against Houston followed by 3 more in Texas versus the Rangers. A 0-6 or 1-5 week would leave a reasonable probability of them being pipped to the post or facing a playoff game. After his inept handling of such situations in the past, league commissioner Rob Manfred-Mann is certainly hoping the teams avoid a similar level pegging result this year.

Oakland also received a boost with the news that centre fielder Juan Torres is back, unexpectedly returning to fitness before the end of the season. He has slotted straight into the lineup, with Jean-Francois Pelletier going back to the minors, and played the 3 games against Arizona. Beane has also reportedly opened negotiations with the 30-year-old for a 1-year extension to remain in Oakland. It seems we were premature when we reported that Torres has played his last game for the club. One of our predictions being wrong? What are the chances.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
12 October 2032
FIFTH STRAIGHT DIVISION TITLE FOR OAKLAND! Mediocrity of the league exposed by unlikely triumph
By Una Likely, unforeseen victories correspondent

In the end it was comfortable. A 3-0 sweep of Houston to start the final week of the regular season secured the American League West division crown for the A's before the jitters could kick in. And a tidy 9-4 victory over Texas on the final day gave the A's a 90-72 record, meaning they've got both 90 wins and a place is the postseason for the eleventh year in a row. An outcome to the season which general manager Paulie Beane admitted looked exceedingly unlikely with the team spending most of the year treading water furiously to play .500 ball. Speaking to reporters last night, Beane said he was delighted, but said: "Our opponents have missed a trick this year. We've been very average. We were there for the taking, and the other muppets failed to take advantage. Obviously I've got only the greatest respect for our opponents", he added hurriedly.

The starting rotation continues to dumbfound, and it will be interesting to see what Beane does in the offseason. Sources, which in a world where Beane is the only actual human being are unerringly accurate, say: probably not much. He reasons that, given their ability, they can surely only play better next year. He may, however, look to trade Karl Dickson, who, despite his iron man reputation, has performance statistics which are all heading south, fast. The 30-year-old Dickson actually has the rotation's best ERA - an unimpressive 3.87 - but based on pitching coach Ace Onballs's latest assessment of his ability that looks at the top end of what he might produce next year. And he has that hefty $20m per year contract which still has 3 more years to run. Quite how the A's can navigate through the postseason without a dominant rotation is unclear. That's a view shared by bookmakers, who rate Oakland's chances of retaining the World Series as slim.

When he wasn't busy offending all other MLB teams, Beane did make a point of playing tribute to Juan Duran, who in his first full season as closer tied the franchise record of 51 saves, matching the mark set by Roy Ellis in 2029. He was also particularly effusive about young slugger Pepe Rios, who set a club-best .422 on-base percentage. The 23-year-old could potentially become the club's best batter of the Dynastic Era of baseball.

The final playoff picture is as follows.

American League
AL East winners: NY Yankees (95-67) (uh-oh)
AL Central winners: Cleveland (89-73)
AL West winners: Oakland (90-72)
Wild cards: Baltimore (89-73), LA Angels (85-77)

National League
NL East winners: Washington (97-65)
NL Central winners: St. Louis (96-66) - beat Pittsburgh in a playoff game for the title
NL West winners: LA Dodgers (91-71)
Wild cards: Pittsburgh (96-66), NY Mets (83-79)

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
22 October 2033
A's pull off miraculous escape to squeeze past Baltimore in division series, face championship series showdown with Yankees
By Siegfried Androy, magicians correspondent

Even they don't quite know how they managed it. Oakland overcame a sequence of inept pitching displays and a 2-0 series deficit to somehow or other beat Baltimore in their American League division series match-up. The Orioles had the series effectively won on several occasions in the final three games, but contrived to throw it away. They will look back and wonder what on earth happened.

The series started badly for the A's. Starters Brad Dundee (5 IP, 3 ER) and Greg Carter (2.2 IP, 5 ER) were so poor they may as well have sent their grandfathers out to pitch the first two games instead of them, and the Orioles cruised to two easy wins at the Coliseum. In game three in Maryland, Karl Dickson was on the mound, and he too started badly. He surrendered a 3-0 lead in the bottom of the 2nd, and it looked like the A's postseason campaign was going to be swiftly put out of its misery. But not so fast, m'lord! First baseman Luis Trujillo, catcher Miguel Rojas and hitting legend Dennis Hawkins all smashed balls into the orange seats in the top of the 3rd, as the A's scored 4 runs. With Dickson fighting back, it stayed 4-3 Oakland right through to the bottom of the 9th, whereupon Baltimore first baseman Martin Rodriguez smoked a solo shot to take it to extra innings. Finally, what seemed to spectators like about twelve hours later, in the top of the 15th inning, Hawkins hit his second homer of the day to sneak the win.

In game four, Dundee was again, how shall we put it delicately, disappointing. His more competent colleagues in the lineup actually staked him to a nice 6-2 lead after the top of the 5th, but that still wasn't enough for him, and, ably assisted by reliever Gonzalo Avila, he allowed Baltimore to score 7 runs in the bottom of the inning. That made it 9-6 Orioles, and again Oakland looked to be heading home. But not so fast, m'lord! The A's hit back with a run in the 6th and 5 more in the 7th to retake the lead. 3 more runs in the 9th completed a dramatic and tipsy-turvy 15-9 victory. Luis Trujillo went 5-6 on the day.

To the decider, back in Oakland. In a shock revelation, Carter started dreadfully, giving up an early 3-0 lead in the top of the 2nd. Surely the Orioles wouldn't chuck a nice lead away again? Not so fast, m'lord! Liam Brown tripled as the A's tied it up at 3-3 in the bottom of the inning. Pepe Rios homered in the 5th, but Baltimore milked Carter for 2 more runs in the top of the 6th to regain the lead, 5-4. They won't lose the lead yet again, right? Not so fast, m'lord! Brown's solo home run tied it again in the bottom of the 6th, and Alejandro Gusman's RBI triple put the A's back in front, 6-5. Jose Duran secured the save and a most improbable series win.

Now look at what phantom menace awaits in the championship series. None other than that evil Darth Yankee, who crushed Cleveland 3-0 in their contest. Those aren't the opponents the A's were looking for.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
28 October 2032
Oakland sweep past evil empire to claim surprise eighth American League pennant in last ten years, face Washington in World Series
By Ged I. Mindtricks, psychology correspondent

This is getting hilarious now. The A's must be using some kind of mental Obi-Wan Kenobi-esque mind tricks on the New York Yankees players. For the third time in four years, they've dumped the Yankees out of the playoffs. This time was even funnier than usual, because the top-seed Yankees were hot favourites.

GM Paulie Beane probably figured his rotation could only be better than in the division series against Baltimore, and he was right. This time they were right on their game. Karl Dickson set the tone for improvement in the first game, going 5.1 innings for 2 unearned runs, as the A's ran out comfortable 8-2 victors. Brad Dundee's superb complete game, allowing 2 runs on 4 hits in 9 innings, was aided by Luis Trujillo's 3-run blast as Oakland also won the next match comfortably, 6-2. They then looked poised to take a commanding 3-0 lead, only for relievers Porter Hawkins and Frank Sargent to cough up 3 runs in the 8th inning to let New York sneak it 6-5. Another great start, this time from Antonio Perez, who threw 8.1 innings for just 1 run, meant the A's went ahead 3-1 in the series.

Could they win it the next night in front of their own fans? They could. Karl Dickson confounded reports of his impending demise with another excellent outing, throwing 8 innings for 2 earned runs. Former A's starter Ambrose Bailey was on the mound for the Yankees, and one bad innings against his former team cost him. William Morris singled in a run, Juan Torres walked in another, and Alejandro Gusman singled in a third, all in the 5th. Jose Duran stepped up to pitch in the top of the 9th with a 3-2 lead, and 3 outs away from reaching the World Series. MLB's save leader this season made 35,000 screaming Oakland fans sweat when he allowed two singles, but he eventually got the job done.

An ecstatic Beane admitted after the game that a couple of months ago, if he'd said he thought his team would make the World Series, he'd have quickly retracted them. He's said some other words he may wish to retract now. Back when ace pitcher Lucio Vargas left Oakland and signed for then-hopeless Washington, Beane wished him "all the best in his time at the bottom of the National League". That smart-alec quip doesn't look quite so smart any more. Led by Vargas and 23-year-old superstar triple-crown winning left fielder Roberto Martinez, who pretty much rewrote the Dynastic Era batting record book this year, Washington achieved the best record in the majors and launched themselves into the World Series with a 4-0 demolition of the New York Mets. The A's will need to beat Vargas and keep Martinez quiet if they are to win it all for an eighth time.

Beane's reaction to the prospect of facing the Nationals in the World Series: "Gulp". "It's not exactly been a great championship series for New York", chuckled everyone who lives anywhere else.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
8 November 2032
NUMBER EIGHT! Oakland triumphs in World Series after late drama in 7-game classic
By Rhi Dickulus, crazy results correspondent

"Well, smack me with a feather and call me Shirley!", exclaimed Oakland GM Paulie Beane to open his post-game press conference. "I don't quite believe it. This is like 2015 all over again. We found it sticky going in the regular season, somehow managed to claw our way into the playoffs, and then have delivered the goods when it matters most. In many ways", he droned on, expansively, "this is the sweetest win, because we haven't done it behind a devastating rotation as in previous wins. This time it's our batters who have led us to glory."

Yes, Beane's A's outfit are world champions for the eighth, yes eighth, time under his leadership. The series against Washington had fans glued to their screens. They really ought not sit so close to the television when they've got Loctite on their hands, but there you go. After each grabbing two comfortable wins from the first four games, Lucio Vargas was on the mound for the Nationals in game 5 against his former team-mate Brad Dundee. And Vargas did his thing, outpitching his old buddy as Washington won 5-2, to take a 3-2 lead in the series.

But this Oakland team have dug themselves out of deeper hole in this postseason and weren't going to be phased by that. In game six, first baseman Luis Trujillo continued his scintillating postseason with a 2-run homer in the top of the 1st, but the Nationals struck back against starter Karl Dickson. It was 4-4 after the 5th inning, and stayed that way entering the 9th. Potentially one hit away from defeat, the A's held their nerve, and catcher Miguel Rojas, another having a fabulous postseason at the plate, hit a solo homer in the top of the 9th to win it.

So, yet again, Oakland were heading to a deciding game in a playoff series. They took charge of the decider immediately. Trujillo hit a 3-run bomb in the 3rd to push the A's out to an early 5-0 lead. They added 2 more runs in the top of the 4th, and the World Series looked secure. But then Mother Nature decided to shake things up a little bit. Down came the rain, and the players were off the field for well over an hour. Perhaps inevitably, the interruption favoured Washington, allowing the, to regroup and halting the A's momentum. The Nats hit back, literally, and cut the deficit to 7-3 after the 5th. Oakland's excellent bullpen halted the charge, however, and when the A's scored a further run in the top of the 9th to make it 8-3, that looked like being a totally unnecessary insurance run. Wrong. Just 1 out from victory in the bottom of the 9th, reliever Nathan Boyd was popped for a 3-run home run. 8-6. 39,000 glum Nationals fans suddenly got interested in the game again. A's field manager Phil D'Manager turned to closer Jose Duran. But Duran gave up another run, 8-7. The noise in the crowd was deafening. Washington had the tying run on second, the winning run at the plate, and batting legend Roberto Martinez on deck. It was now or never for Duran. It was now. He induced a groundout, and Oakland had finally won.

After the game, a satisfied Beane thanked Uncle Tom Cobbley and all at the club for their contribution to Oakland's latest World Series win. The postseason performances of Trujillo (.364 AVG, 8 HR, 22 RBI) and Rojas (.414 AVG, 3 HR, 11 RBI) were particularly noteworthy. They will probably get one of Beane's famous $50 book token bonuses for their efforts.

So where exactly does Beane go from here? He's got nothing left to prove. He's won by being the best team. He's won by being lucky. He's won with great pitching, and he's won with great batting. Well, I guess we'll see. For now at least, he says he's going into the offseason to get ready for 2033.

Farewell, folks, that's another season in the books.

[Paulie123]

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[Paulie123]

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[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
16 November 2032
Oakland fans' loyalty to the club increases after latest World Series triumph
By Maurie Ipsos, market research correspondent

Oakland announced last night announced the results of a push poll, sorry, rigorously conducted market research survey, which found that the loyalty of the team's fans has increased to "Above Average" level. How marvellous. It has only taken 8 World Series wins to reach those lofty heights.

Club sources said that the news has led Korean-German owner Ban-ki Rupt to loosen his purse strings a little. GM Paulie Beane got his biggest surprise for years when Rupt reportedly told him he was increasing the payroll budget by $10m to $160m. That's still the lowest in the majors, just not quite by so much. Beane and his analyst Mike Rosoft-Excel are apparently hastily reviewing their payroll projections and plans as we speak.

Meanwhile, a full 15 years after winning his first Cy Young award at Kansas City, 39-year-old Los Angeles Dodgers starting pitcher Christian Binford has won it again. The veteran of veterans threw for 22-7 with a 3.03 ERA from 238 innings. An outstanding effort. He seems unaware of such a thing as an ageing process.