Oakland A's 2024 And Beyond Dynasty

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
3 September 2031
Beane and D'Manager tensions erupt in public as A's lose to Seattle
By R. G. Bargy, disagreements correspondent

Oakland's GM Paulie Beane and field manager Phil D'Manager have always had a working relationship punctuated by what they term "creative tension discussions" but what you and I would call "arguments". Generally, the frequency of their arguments has ebbed and flowed in inverse proportion to the team's level of success. The A's sensational success over the last decade has meant the two men have kept a lid on them to an extent, and avoided much vitriol and animosity. But last night it was different. The A's are going great guns, they're 84-49, the best record in all of baseball, and 17 games clear in the American League West. Yet there it was, in full public view down on the field: a standing row between them at the end of the 2nd inning.

In hindsight, there was a clear hint beforehand that something might be up. Beane travelled with the team to Seattle for the game. Normally, he studiously avoids watching games even on television, let alone attending matches, let alone attending matches away from home. The division of responsibilities between the two men has been well-established, and wildly successful, for many years. Beane deals with all the team's rosters, transactions and financial matters. Beane sets the depth charts and lineups. D'Manager is responsible for all the in-game substitutions and strategy.

Last night's dispute centred over D'Manager's other responsibility, which is, or rather was, to tweak the lineup and fielding positions as necessary when a backup comes in for a starter. Yesterday, the regular shortstop, fast-improving club stalwart Liam Brown, needed a rest, so infield backup Max Scherzer Jr took his place in the lineup. Scherzer is a dynamic, gold glove standard defender at third base. He has all the tools to play shortstop, but virtually no practical experience at the position. Rather than shuffle the versatile Juan Jimenez from third to shortstop, and play Scherzer at third, the obvious move, D'Manager in his wisdom decided to keep Scherzer at short.

Big mistake. In the bottom of the 2nd, with the A's leading 1-0, all-star pitcher Carl Bates gave up 6 runs. The problem for D'Manager was, they were all unearned, after Scherzer made two bad errors. A visibly irate Beane thumped the window of his executive box at Safeco Field, nearly smashing it with his bare hands, and stormed down to pitchside. After relief pitcher Gonzalo Avila finally got the A's out of the inning, Beane and D'Manager argued furiously in the dugout, fingers pointing, cheeks all red, spittle flying all over each other's faces. Snapping a baseball bat with rage as he left the playing arena, Beane stormed off, and then failed to reappear in his executive box. When the A's next came out to field in the bottom of the 3rd, suddenly Jimenez had moved to shortstop and Scherzer was at third. Oakland's lineup rallied superbly, with first baseman Luis Trujillo going 4-5 with a home run and 5 RBIs, but the damage had been done, and they went down 7-6. What should have been a sauntering 6-1 victory was a horrible loss.

Oakland released a statement after the game, farcically claiming that some of Beane's and D'Manager's antics had "been largely theatrical to entertain the fans, honest." But the statement also made clear that from now on, Beane would have the final say on the lineup and fielding positions for each game, with D'Manager focusing fully on in-game strategies and substitutions only. Has the two men's relationship suffered irreparable damage from this episode?

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
7 September 2031
Trujillo and Rojas crush Astros as A's close in on AL West title
By Ruth Babe, quality hitting correspondent

The Oakland A's last night attempted to move on from the Beane-D'Manager row controversy by letting their baseball do the talking. And the message seemed loud and clear, as Houston were unsympathetically shoved aside 13-3 at Minute Maid Park.

Leading the charge to put the A's back on the back pages for all the right reasons was all-star first baseman Luis Trujillo. The 25-year-old is having a career year, and last night put the Astros to the sword. He went 4-4, wellying 3 home runs, and a double, with 4 RBIs. His stunning performance took him to 40 home runs and 117 RBIs for the season. Over the remaining four weeks of the season, he needs to hit just 3 more homers and 2 more RBIs to set new A's franchise record marks in both categories. Also getting in on the act in yesterday's game was catcher Miguel Rojas, who hit 2 homers. Corner outfielders William Morris and Dennis Hawkins also looted deep shots.

The win moves the A's to 87-49, and it's now just a matter of time before the American League West pennant is theirs once more. Texas are bravely chasing, and have won four on the spin, but won't make up their 17.5 game deficit. Who would have thought the A's would reach this position after the first three or four weeks of the season, eh? Not any of the so-called baseball experts working for this newspaper, that's for sure.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
18 September 2031
AL WEST CHAMPS YET AGAIN! Win over Texas gives Oakland fourth straight division crown
By Emma Nentlipredictable, shocks correspondent

Oakland have surprised exactly nobody except the dappy journalists at this paper and secured a tenth consecutive appearance in the playoffs, after last night's 7-3 victory over Texas gave them an unassailable lead in the American League West division. It's the A's fourth divisional crown on the spin, seventh in the last decade, and eighth since GM Paulie Beane took the helm. The A's are 92-55 and in with a chance of claiming a fourth straight 100-win year.

William Morris and Max Scherzer Jr both hit 3-4, and Antonio Perez threw 8.1 innings for 3 earned runs, as the A's won the title in front of 34,990 delighted fans in the Coliseum. Speaking after the game, Beane told reporters he was ecstatic at the achievement, particularly given that the team have had a Cy Young award winning pitcher sidelined for the entire year. Not that it has been reported much.

So now Oakland look towards the postseason - again. A championship series rematch against defending world champions Detroit looks to be potentially in the offing, with the 86-60 Tigers comfortably clear in the American League Central division and sporting the second best record in the AL. Beane said simply, "I'd love it if we beat them. Love it."

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
6 October 2031
A's finish with 103 wins as regular season ends
By Stan Dings, league tables correspondent

They finished off with a 2-1 series defeat to Houston, but a regular season which began with predictions of struggle and uncertain form ended, overall, as a resounding success for the Oakland A's. They reached the ton of victories for the fourth straight year, finishing with a 103-59 record to clinch the American League West division with a 21-game margin over nearest competitors Texas.

Special praise must go to the former Cy Young winning rotation leader, Karl Dickson, who overcame dreadful early season form and a distinctly uncharitable kicking him when he's down ratings downgrade from scouts, to post a wonderful second half, and eventually finish with a fine 19-8 record and 3.25 ERA. He was also awarded AL pitcher of the month for September. Slugger Luis Trujillo set several franchise best marks for the season, tying the most number of home runs (42, equal with Javier Cruz in 2027) and setting a new target for RBIs with 128.

The A's are now busily preparing for the annual luck-of-the-draw that is the MLB playoffs. Their young rotation has been excellent all year, but has occasionally been got at by opposing batters. Can they keep it together for three postseason series wins, or will their inexperience and the pressure of elimination matches manifest itself in some disappointing displays? They'll start off with a divisional series match up against the winners of the wildcard game beng contested between Baltimore and Toronto. Sensibly, the Canadians have to trek all the way to Maryland for a game that represents little more than a coin toss.

GM Paulie Beane doesn't gamble - he has half an eye on hopefully making it into the Hall of Fame on day and doesn't want to torpedo his chances - but if he did he'd find the bookies split over his side's chances of taking yet another World Series crown.

The final playoff picture is as follows:

American League
AL East winners: Tampa Bay (90-72)
AL Central winners: Detroit (90-72)
AL West winners: Oakland (103-59)
Wild cards: Baltimore (89-73), Toronto (88-74)

National League
NL East winners: Washington (90-72)
NL Central winners: St. Louis (108-54)
NL West winners: San Francisco (93-69)
Wild cards: San Diego (89-73), NY Mets (88-74)

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
14 October 2031
Oakland make it to a ninth ALCS in the last ten years after excellent divisional series win over Toronto
By Homer Field-Advantage, postseason seedings correspondent

The Oakland A's remarkable dominance in the American League over the last decade or so continued last night as they advanced to a ninth AL championship series in the last ten seasons, after eventually pushing aside a stubborn Toronto Blue Jays outfit 3-1 in the divisional series.

The Blue Jays had a good look at Oakland's ace pitcher Karl Dickson in the first game, and clearly liked what they saw, spanking him for 5 runs from 5.2 innings pitched, to win the opening game of the series. Lefty Nathan Hamilton combined with reliever Nathan Boyd and closer Jose Duran to make Toronto's lineup look rather amateurish on a 6-hit shutout, as Oakland immediately struck back, winning 3-0 to level the series. Two homers from Salvador Ortiz and another from Juan Jimenez saw the A's establish a 2-1 lead. Then, in game four, two Dennis Hawkins dingers put the A's 4-1 up, and it was apt when Luis Trujillo, their best player of the regular season, smashed a grand slam home run in the top of the 9th to make the game, and the series, safe. 49,000 Canadians decided they suddenly had somewhere better to be, and most spectators had left the stadium long before setup man Frank Sargent secured the final out for a comfortable Oakland win.

The A's will now face either Detroit or Tampa Bay in the championship series, who stand at 2-2 so far. Everyone in the A's organisation wants the Tigers to prevail, so they can get their revenge for their painful defeat at the same stage a year ago.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
26 October 2031
Oakland are back in the World Series! Cardinals await after A's regain American League championship with dramatic 7-game win over Tampa Bay
By Bree Thout, utter relief correspondent

Sometimes, just sometimes, the two best baseball teams successfully navigate their way through the nerve-jangling maze of the postseason, and go head-to-head in the final series of the season. And so it is this year, after Oakland, who finished the regular season 13 games better than anyone else in the American League, and St. Louis, who were 15 games better than the rest of the National League, made it through to the 2031 World Series for a heavyweight clash and a half.

For the A's, it took a dramatic comeback to get the better of a tenacious and in-form Rays team and win the American League championship pennant for the seventh time in nine years. Oakland's star pitcher Karl Dickson has, as sod's law demands, followed a superb second half of the season with a poor postseason, and was belted for 5 runs in 7 innings as Tampa Bay took the opener in California. Nathan Hamilton was unlucky to lose a tight game the next day, and the A's suddenly found themselves in a 2-0 shaped hole as the two teams headed off to Florida. And that hole got excavated even deeper when the Rays jumped out to a 4-1 lead after 2 innings of game three. Finding themselves staring down the barrel, the 2031 vintage A's proved they have character and resilience as well as talent. Shortstop Liam Brown hit a bases loaded double and left fielder William Morris a 3-run bomb, as Oakland replied immediately by smelting 7 runs in the top of the 3rd, and they eventually won the game 11-5. The series was squared when Pepe Rios's 2-run homer in the 9th grabbed a late win in the next, and Oakland earned a 3-2 lead and a sweep of the games in Tampa when Dennis Hawkins's 3-run home run proved decisive in game five.

Finding themselves one game from elimination after not so long before having one foot in the door of the World Series, surely the Rays were too demoralised to fight back? Wrong. Gonzalo Avila gave a rather untimely demonstration of why he lost the closer job as Tampa Bay waltzed to a 14-4 victory in the next game. The series was going the distance. Nearly 35,000 crammed into the Coliseum for yesterday afternoon's rubber game. It was as tense as many expected. Pitchers Antonio Perez for Oakland and Robert Hayes for the Rays kept things tight for both teams. But that man Luis Trujillo somehow squeezed out a solo home run and an RBI single to put the A's 2-0 up heading into the 9th inning. If the home crowd were nervous before, they were left biting fingernails, toenails, and anything else made of hair they could find, when 2029 American League MVP Vicente Rosado blasted a tiring Perez into the stands for a 1-out solo homer. 2-1. Field manager Phil D'Manager turned to closer Jose "Duran Duran" Duran, who calmly induced a ground out and a fly out to see Oakland home.

It was all rather more serene for repeat National League champs St. Louis, who are 7-1 so far in the playoffs and in ominous form. With their history under GM Paulie Beane, the A's have the World Series pedigree and experience. But the Cardinals are the favourites of many neutrals. It should be fascinating to watch, unless, of course, one team runs away with it and it's not.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
5 November 2031
WORLD SERIES WINNERS YET AGAIN! Oakland hold their nerve in final game thriller versus St. Louis to put Beane in seventh heaven
By Dee Sidingame, rubber match correspondent

Oakland are back at the pinnacle of baseball. In a nerve-jangling finale to what has been an entertaining and dramatic World Series, the A's clinched the seventh and final game to claim their seventh (and hopefully not final) world championship under GM Paulie Beane. Oakland fans partied late into the night, knowing that they may never see another run of success like it in their lifetimes.

We had a taste of what was in store during the series in an exciting opening game. Karl Dickson returned to form on the mound, but he was up against St. Louis's triple crown-winning ace James Groves. At 1-1 after 8 innings, the A's looked to have sneaked it in the top of the 9th when catcher Miguel Mason doubled for the go-ahead run, only for Jose Duran, finding the worse possible moment to blow his first save as closer, to concede 2 runs in the bottom of the inning. Oakland won the second game, lost narrowly in the third, and then squared the series again thanks to a blowout win where they finally got at Groves, winning 11-1, including a towering grand slam home run from designated hitter Pepe Rios that went so high it temporarily posed a danger to low-flying aircraft.

Dickson continued his good form in game five, again throwing 8 innings for just 1 run, as the A's eased home 6-1 to take the series lead for the first time, 3-2. Nathan Hamilton was on the mound for game six. The Cardinals knocked him out early, but, although the A's bullpen prevented any further damage, the offense's fight back fell just short and they lost 5-4.

So, back they all came last night for the decider, in front of 43,000 hollering Cardinals fans. It really is a baseball town, this place. Groves was up again for St. Louis, while Beane opted to start with rapidly improving 22-year-old pitcher Antonio Perez. Groves was in imperious form, giving up just 2 hits through 6 innings. But Perez wasn't phased, and also didn't concede a run. It wasn't a game for fans of great batting, but boy, was it tense. It remaining 0-0 heading into the 9th, and we were on sudden death innings in a sudden death game.

Then: pandemonium. The A's lineup, shackled all night up to that point, broke loose. Liam Brown, Pepe Rios and Salvador Ortiz all hit doubles as Oakland racked up 6 runs. The only noise in a stunned Busch Stadium was the shuffling of spectators heading rapidly towards the exits. Only a few hundred stalwarts remained to see Perez come back out in the bottom of the 9th, to claim one final out and complete 8.1 scoreless innings under unimaginable levels of pressure for such a young man. He certainly has some humongous cojones, that lad. He'll never need to buy another beer in Oakland for the rest of his life after that display. Gonzalo Avila concluded the season by bagging the final two outs. 6-0 A's.

For St. Louis fans, deflation. A second straight World Series defeat, and this time agonisingly so near and yet so far. The feeling was like that of a shy sixth former who goes to the school prom and then utterly fails to get off with one of the girls. His excitement builds all evening as he hopes for what might transpire. Then, near the end of the night, the realisation suddenly dawns that it isn't going to happen, the girls have gone off with the jocks instead, and he sullenly slopes off home, disappointed.

A visibly drained Beane held only a short press conference after the game. He thanked all the staff at the club, charitably reminding many of them that they had to be at work as usual tomorrow, because "it's the opening day of the 2032 season for us in the front office." For a triumphant A's organisation, it's their sixth championship in the last nine years. They lost their Cy Young award winning pitcher for the entire year, and still won the World Series. This dynasty could continue for a while.

[Paulie123]

Pictures, innit

[Paulie123]

Wot more pictures?

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
6 November 2031
A's players celebrate superb World Series win but it's straight back to business for Beane
By Noah Restfor-Thewicked, dedication correspondent

The city of St. Louis woke up yesterday morning to find it had no champagne left. The entire supply had been drunk, pausing only briefing in the bladders of Oakland A's players en route to the sewers, or, in some cases, en route to the unfortunate flower bed outside the entrance to the team hotel.

The A's players slept late. Most awoke to find patches of vomit strewn across the floors of their hotel rooms and a thumping, thumping, thumping pain between their temples. Others woke to the dreaded feeling they may have gone along with the idea of going to a strip club, despite solemnly promising their wives before the trip that if the team won, they'd never engage in such crass behaviour. Others woke with only a vague recollection what their name was, let alone where they were or how they got there.

Paulie Beane also slept late. But he hadn't been out, he never fraternises with the players. He instead sat up late on his iPad in his hotel room, plotting his plans for the offseason and preparing to defend the title. Which of the A's championship-winning rotation would have to make way for the return of a fully fit Brad Dundee? Will catcher Miguel Rojas reach arbitration as a super-two qualifier, and if so who will get cut to afford it? Will reliever Porter Hawkins's performances ever match his talent levels? Should room on the roster be found for young talents Joe Byrd, Anastasio Vasquez and Brandon Lee? Despite his club-friendly contract, should he trade perpetually unhappy outfielder Corey Hodges and promote Jean-Francois Pelletier?

Many conundrums to ponder and solve. But he's already started on them.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
13 November 2031
Beane wins eighth American League manager of the year award
By Anna Jeroftheyear, talented GMs correspondent

Oakland GM Paulie Beane last night won his eighth American League manager of the year award. Speaking to reporters, he said, "I'm delighted. I need a new doorstop and an award trophy is excellent at doing the job."

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
14 November 2031
A's trade bunch of unwanted players including Mendoza and Takahashi for hot prospect De Jesus and okay prospect Dalton
By Harry Zona, Di A. Mondbacks, gullible trade partners correspondents

It happens like this every year. Oakland GM Paulie Beane has moved quicker than a quick flash in making his offseason machinations. And the Arizona Diamondbacks have shown exactly why they have been so dire on the pitch in recent years, by nearly literally lying face down on the floor and allowing Oakland to walk all over them. Hiring Ruben Amaro Jr as GM and Matt Williams as field manager isn't working out so well for them.

An ecstatic Beane could barely conceal his delight as he announced that third baseman Tony De Jesus, the first overall pick in the 2030 draft and BNN's #1 prospect in MLB at the start of the year, had arrived at the Coliseum. The 20-year-old is probably still another year or so away from being ready for the big leagues, but is clearly being lined up by Beane as the long-term replacement at third base for Juan Jimenez, whose contract expires after next season. All Beane gave up for De Jesus was lefty starting pitcher Ramon Mendoza, who was on $10m a year but getting pushed out of the rotation by Brad Dundee, who has now returned from his lengthy injury, and talent but fragile and underperforming reliever Kenji Takahashi. That Mendoza has become Arizona's rotation lead and Takahashi their closer as a result shows that (a) they're crap, (b) their Computer AI program has no idea how to rebuild. The clubs also swapped minor league catchers in the deal, with Ben Jones heading to the desert and 24-year-old Scrabble high score Tewfik Fogo, BNN's #70 prospect, becoming an A. "This is a definite what my fifth cousin once removed Billy would call an 'Effing A Trade'", smirked Beane.

Beane also announced the completion of a trade with division rivals Houston. He somehow persuaded them to accept a package of absolute mediocrity, comprising the distinctly average outfielder Corey Hodges, easily hit reliever Jorge Sanchez and hopeless shortstop Derek Hopkins. In return Houston gave up fragile but talented outfielder Ray Dalton, a 20-year-old switch hitter who was also picked in the first round of the 2030 draft and is currently BNN's #66 prospect. He goes onto the Oakland minor league roster for more development. Minor league catcher Chris Cherry also moved to the west coast as part of the deal. "You can never have too many catchers", said Beane, greedily.

Rob Dyment has replaced Hodges as the club's fifth outfielder, while young reliever Esteban Mendez, drafted earlier this year, takes Takahashi's place in the bullpen.

One would be forgiven for thinking some of these teams are actively trying to let the A's keep winning. Come on, guys.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
2 January 2032
Oakland great Jose Fernandez elected to the Hall of Fame
By Bradley Cooper-Stown, Hall of Fame correspondent

It was a proud moment for Oakland fans, and a particularly proud moment for GM Paulie Beane, the man responsible for bringing him to Oakland. Arguably the club's greatest ever player, and certainly their best player of the Dynastic Era, starting pitcher Jose Fernandez, was yesterday inducted into the Hall of Fame. In this odd world where players are elected to the hall the day after they formally retire, Fernandez hung up his cap at the end of the 2031 season last month and was immediately chosen.

Over an 18-year career in the majors, Fernandez played for Miami, Oakland, Minnesota and Atlanta. The 39-year-old posted a 259-120 won-loss record and 3.20 ERA. He was a 7-time all-star, won 5 Cy Young awards and won four World Series rings.

Beane said to reporters after the induction ceremony, "Jose is, and will forever remain, one of the brightest stars in the Oakland A's universe. He didn't just play here a short while at the end of his stellar career, his best years were here with us. He led our rotation to our four straight World Series wins. He won four Cy Youngs here. He pitched a perfect game here. He is an A." Beane finished speaking there, as he seemed to have something in his eye.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
6 February 2032
A's sign infield defensive whizz McConnell on two-year deal
By Billy Whizz-Ondefense, turning double plays correspondent

It took some protracted negotiations and fending off a counter-offer from the New York Mets, but Oakland last night finally announced the signing of 31-year-old free agent infielder Thomas McConnell on a 2-year, $2.3m per annum contract. The former gold glove winner isn't great at the plate, but has a good eye and is defensively superb at both second base and shortstop. He'll be the second reserve infielder after Salvador Ortiz. He was the 8th overall pick, by Baltimore, in the 2023 draft.

Oakland GM Paulie Beane said, "I'm delighted Thomas has signed here." McConnell himself said, "I'm delighted to be here." Fellow infielder Max Scherzer Jr said, "I'm not delighted Thomas is here. I've now been a shunted back to the minors to accommodate him on the roster. Which is nice."

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
11 April 2032
Oakland's Vasquez and Lee feature in BNN's Top 10 Prospects list; 10 A's youngsters in the top 100
By Hugh Knows, speculative guesswork correspondent

Another April, another wild stab in the dark by the Baseball News Network about which promising young players will develop into bona fide stars of the game. The A's will be hoping there is more method to BNN's madness than just purely guessing, as yet again they featured heavily in the top prospects list.

21-year-old lefty starting pitching Anastasio Vasquez featured at #3, up from #10 last year. Beane will surely be looking to promote the starlet onto the active roster later on in the season, particularly if any of his current rotation falters in their performance. Replacing Vasquez in the #10 slot this time round is bullet-throwing reliever Brandon Lee. The 19-year-old, drafted last year, needs to control his control, so to speak, before he's ready for the majors, but he has talent oozing out of his ears and looks set to be a fixture in the A's bullpen for many years.

Oakland GM Paulie Beane was annoyingly smug a few months ago when he fleeced the Arizona Diamondbacks to acquire last year's #1 prospect, third baseman Tony De Jesus. But he was left looking rather less pleased with himself when BNN announced that this year they had relegated De Jesus down to #24. Player development is a fickle mistress.

The future of Oakland's pitching again looks good, because, in addition to Vasquez and Lee, also featuring highly are Joe Byrd (#12), Mario Plourde (#14) and Esteban Mendez (#39). Shortstop Harvey Turner appears at #29 and centre fielder Jean-Francois Pelletier at #71. In total the A's had ten prospects in BNN's top 100, with catchers Tewfik Fogo (#60) and Chun-mei Leong (#79) also popular with analyst Mya Crowsoft-Word-Rosoft-Excel, who recently wed A's sabermetrician Mike Rosoft-Excel and is apparently unaware that concatenating your surnames isn't compulsory when you get married.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
12 April 2032
World champion A's big favourites to repeat
By Hope Lessatpredicting, crystal ball correspondent

Pretty much every year, this newspaper's preseason preview special edition comes out and cautions against the A's prospect of success. Pretty much every year, we're proven totally wrong. So, breaking the habit of a lifetime, we'll instead forecast that the A's will win it all again. Not only that, we think they'll get 160 wins. For definite. It's a done deal. They might as well not bother playing the season. But just in case the other teams do decide to turn up and compete against the all-conquering, invincible A's, let's take a look at the 25 players on their active roster to begin the year.

Rotation: All five guys are all-stars. The twin aces heading up the A's rotation, Karl Dickson (30/R/4.5*, 19-8 WL, 3.25 ERA in 2031) and Brad Dundee (28/R/4.5*, disabled list all season), both have something to prove. Dickson aims to bounce back from a season last year where he started very poorly. Although it was barely reported, Dundee missed the entire 2031 season with a torn rotator cuff and will want to get back to his Cy Young-winning form of 2030. Young righties Antonio Perez (22/R/4.5*, 17-11, 3.45) and Carl Bates (21/R/4.5*, 9-9, 2.74) would be the ace on some of the basket case teams in this league, but are only number 3 and 4 starters here. Lefty Nathan Hamilton (28/L/4.5*, 18-6, 3.16) had a good 2031 including his first all-star selection, but is anxiously looking over his shoulder at the pitching talent waiting on Oakland's minor league roster and gulping nervously at what he sees.

Bullpen: Jose Duran (28/L/4.5*, 9-3, 3.12, 20 SV) continues as closer, and will keep the role. Until he loses it. The set up pair of Nathan Boyd (24/R/4.5*, 3-2, 2.51) and Frank Sargent (22/L/5*, 4-1, 2.51) can get outs simply by intimidation of opposition batters with their hyper-good stuff. In middle relief, the irritating underperforming duo Gonzalo Avila (24/L/5*, 4-5, 3.90) and Porter Hawkins (24/R/5*, 2-1, 4.10) need to stop being so nice to batters. 2031 draftee Esteban Mendez (22/R/4.5*, drafted 2031 supp rd 1 by Oakland) will shortly be making his MLB debut, while Jonathan Hardy (27/R/3.5*, 0-0, 2.92), you are the weakest link, goodbye. The likes of Brandon Lee, Sergio Chavez and Armando Rodriguez are awaiting their chance.

Catcher: Taking the dominant role in the platoon by playing against righty pitchers is Miguel Rojas (27/S/3*, .337 OBP, 9 HR, 51 RBI in 2031). The other half is Miguel Mason (25/R/4*, .354, 7, 37), who is great with the bat but often unable to catch very well, which is somewhat of a career-limiting affliction when you claim to be a "catcher".

Infield: Superhero first baseman Luis Trujillo (26/R/4.5*, .367, 42, 126) is the A's best batter these days. That used to be true of multi-millionaire Alejandro Gusman (29/L/4.5*, .375, 16, 70) at second base, who has seemingly forgotten that one's performance level ought to be at least in broad proximity to one's earnings. Shortstop Liam Brown (25/R/4.5*, .353, 13, 71) and third baseman Juan Jimenez (31/R/2*, .334, 11, 90) swapped positions during the last season and are firmly ensconced there, or so they claim. Infield reserve Salvador Ortiz (32/R/2.5*, .340, 25, 68) was, no offence to you mate, surprisingly good in his first year with the club last year and can cover the outfield positions expertly too. Newcomer and second reserve infielder Thomas McConnell (32/R/3*, .287, 8, 53) usually wafts his bat to little or no effect at the plate but won a gold glove in his younger years. He is now not exactly best mates with Max Scherzer Jr, who's been pushed to the minors as a result of his arrival, where Harvey Turner and Tony De Jesus are also very promising.

Outfield: Much to his delight, Dennis Hawkins (30/L/4.5*, .375, 22, 87) plays right field these days, because uber-rookie Pepe Rios (23/L/4.5*, .346, 2, 40), the poor flower, is too soft and delicate to play in the outfield without risking a career threatening injury every inning, so hides, sorry, plays at designated hitter. Ah, diddums. Juan Torres (30/R/2.5*, .305, 11, 55) is trying to defy the ageing process at centre field. Left fielder William Morris (28/L/3*, 296, 23, 73) had a breakout year in 2030 but rested badly on his laurels last year. He's promised to at least try and hit the ball this term. Ortiz backs up Torres, while Rob Dyment (25/R/2.5*, .315, 8, 28) returns to the roster as backup corner outfielder, trying desperately to forget that his disappointing displays in the first half of last year ever happened. Jean-Francois Pelletier is pushing for a roster spot.

They're already world champions. With the returning Brad Dundee replacing the departed Ramon Mendoza, their rotation is stronger than last year. The rest of the roster is largely unchanged. Unless injuries strike again, it's hard to see them doing anything other than challenge hard to regain the top prize. Better luck in 2033, the rest of you.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
26 April 2032
Brown leads Oakland's early season charge
By Ty D. Start, opening fortnight correspondent

Plus ca change, plus ca meme chose. It's a new season and only a fortnight old, many of the players of each team have changed, but already Oakland and St. Louis are once again leading the way in their respective leagues. St. Louis have finished the first two weeks of the season at 9-3, while the A's stand at 9-4.

Featuring heavily on the highlights reel for Oakland has been shortstop Liam Brown. The 25-year-old, entering his fourth season at the Coliseum, has hit 21-55, with a .410 on-base percentage and .973 OPS. It all adds up to a decidedly tasty .413 wOBA. Brown said, "Hitting coach Noah Hitter has worked hard with me on my game, and I'm delighted how well it's going right so far this year. I now slightly regret signing that 3-year, $4.2m per year contract extension last season. I'm going to be getting Scott Boredass on the phone next time my contract is expiring."

General manager Paulie Beane told reporters he "110% backed" starter Brad Dundee, who has found things tricky in his first three starts since his nasty torn rotator thingy injury. The 28-year-old righty is 0-1 with a 7.11 ERA. "Form is temporary, class is permanent ", Beane said, optimistically. "No excuses, I've been garbage", confessed Dundee.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
27 April 2032
Stats Amazing: A's home run leaders
Sabermetrician Joe Nahill has been bored. Joe Nahill has been looking at baseball statistics. Joe Nahill writes pointless articles about baseball statistics to fill his days. Joe Nahill is weird.

One of the features of Oakland's success over the past few seasons, where they has persistently racked up more than 100 wins, is that general manager Paulie Beane has been able to add excellent offensive production to his usual league-leading pitching. The likes of Dennis Hawkins, Javier Cruz, Alejandro Gusman and Luis Trujillo have helped the team score over 800 runs in each of the last six years. The team's improvement in offense is typified by their list of home run leaders, where an Oakland batter has reached 40 dingers in three of the last five seasons; whereas only one batter in the previous twelve seasons reached even 30 homers in a year. Those A's home run leaders during the Dynastic Era in full:

2015 - Marcus Semien, 22
2016 - Ike Davis, 23
2017 - Brett Lawrie, 29
2018 - Brett Lawrie, 28
2019 - Slade Heathcott, 26
2020 - Devon Fisher, 26
2021 - Devon Fisher, 33
2022 - Devon Fisher, 27
2023 - Jake Lamb, 19
2024 - Matt Olson, 24
2025 - Eddie Holland, 22
2026 - Isael Soto, 28
2027 - Javier Cruz, 42
2028 - Javier Cruz, 32
2029 - Javier Cruz, 31
2030 - William Morris, 40
2031 - Luis Trujillo, 42

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
10 May 2032
Rios and Hawkins injuries and rotation struggles create problems for A's
By Terry Bull-Rotation, pitching problems correspondent

How quickly things can change, eh. A week ago Paulie Beane's Oakland outfit were looking well placed to fulfill preseason predictions and charge headlong towards yet another playoff appearance. All of a sudden, it doesn't look quite so rosy. And we know that the A's front office is concerned with how things are going, after reports of a bashed-up A's-branded iPad, pierced by a kitchen knife, landed unannounced from a vertical direction on the pavement beneath the window of GM Beane's office at the Coliseum.

Speaking to reporters after last night's 6-5 defeat to Seattle, Beane refused to comment on the smashed laptop story, but admitted he was concerned at his team's recent form. It was clear from his comments - an unguarded reference at one point to "soft-tossing wazzocks" was a bit of a giveaway - that he is angry with his underperforming rotation. Brad Dundee's (0-3, 7.40) struggles are already high profile, but, in a rare outbreak of reasonableness, Beane said that given Dundee is only just returning from a very bad injury, he was prepared to cut him some slack. Karl Dickson (0-3, 4.50) has been either lethal or utterly abysmal in his starts. Carl Bates (1-1, 6.91) has disappointed, while Joe Byrd, who replaced Bates in the rotation while he was injured, is back in the minors after allowing 8 home runs from 18 innings pitched in 3 starts. "This is a rotation of five all-stars", lamented Beane, "They should be doing miles better than this current omnishambles." Pitching coach Ace Onballs is understood to be under strict instructions to sort it out, or else.

So far this season, the bullpen and the lineup have done well enough to keep the team winning. But the latter is under threat after both Pepe Rios and Dennis Hawkins were laid up, for 2 weeks and 4 weeks respectively, after getting injured running the bases in a game against Houston a week ago. Replacements Rob Dyment and Jean-Francois Pelletier are doing their best, but those injuries to key players leave a big hole in the A's lineup. And the team's problems manifested themselves in a 2-4 past week, which has seen Oakland slip to 15-11 and down to second place in the American League West division, albeit only half a game back of the Los Angeles Angels.

To make matters worse, the New York Yankees are on a 15-game winning streak and are 21-4. Crikey almighty.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
12 May 2032
More headaches for Beane as struggling Jimenez seeks new contract
By Don Thinksoson, contract negotiations correspondent

Oakland's tribulations continued last night after reports of a strained conversation between general manager Paulie Beane and the agent of starting third baseman Juan Jimenez. The 31-year-old Jimenez is in the final year of his current deal, and is reputed to have asked to ink an extension with the A's.

Insiders say the gist of Beane's response was: "That's nice, but your client is batting .184 from 28 games so far this season. Come back when his performance is better than my mum could do, and then maybe we'll talk. In the meantime, please close the door behind you on your way out of my office." Our source said Beane in fact used somewhat more Anglo-Saxon language than this family-friendly translation of his remarks.