Oakland A's 2024 And Beyond Dynasty

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
6 November 2030
Awards double for Dundee and Beane
By Leigh Tulconsolation, awards correspondent

Oakland starter Brad Dundee was in sheepish mood as he walked up to collect his American League Cy Young trophy at last night's glitzy MLB awards dinner in Scranton, PA. It's certainly an award the righty deserved, after a season when he went 22-6 from 32 starts. From 234.2 innings pitched he struck out 163 batters and compiled a terrific 2.26 ERA. It marks the sixth time in the last nine years that an Oakland pitcher has won the Cy Young. Four of those occasions were club legend Jose Fernandez, and then Karl Dickson won two years ago. That Dundee spent the season as the A's number 3 starter behind Dickson and another Cy Young winner, Lucio Vargas, shows the incredible strength of that rotation.

Dundee's sheepishness was of course a reflection of the knowledge that he will not pitch at all next season thanks to his torn rotator cuff injury. "I'm delighted to have won, but gutted I won't be able to defend this crown in 2031. I want to thank all my team-mates, because without their help, support and stellar play I wouldn't be standing here today", he lied.

Meanwhile, Oakland general manager Paulie Beane won the AL manager of the year award for the third straight year, and for the seventh time in total. "There are only 15 of us eligible for this award, and I'm the only one who is an actual human being with a working brain. I probably should win it occasionally", he said matter-of-factly.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
21 November 2030
Fans shocked as Beane trades Cruz for shortstop prospect Turner
By Jesus Wept, shocking surprises correspondent

Oakland general manager Paulie Beane has again shown his willingness to trade away established stars in what he perceives to be the best interests of the club both short-term and long-term. Fans of power hitting on an infrequent basis were left bereft last night, after the A's announced that man of steel Javier Cruz has been traded.

Beane agreed a package with Toronto that also saw Toyokazu Watanabe, who apparently has some kind of hitting allergy, leave Oakland. In return the A's receive 19-year-old hot prospect Harvey Turner, a shortstop chosen by the Blue Jays with the 16th overall pick of the 2029 draft, and 20-year-old pitcher Steve Desrosiers. A great baserunner, scouts project that Turner will become a nice little hitter. His defense needs work at the infield positions but he has all the raw talent. Beane will be looking to keep Turner in the minors for a couple of years while he develops some more.

Cruz had a disappointing year, hitting only 22 home runs, a low tally for him, with a dubious .285 on-base percentage. Given that arbitrators awarded him a $15m salary for 2030, Beane had been overheard during the season complaining that Cruz was "getting money for old rope" and "could still get a .285 OBP if he stood there with his eyes closed and just swung away". That level of performance for that salary was too rich for Beane's blood, so Cruz is off. Called up to replace Cruz at right field is 24-year-old Rob Dyment, who joined Oakland midway through the 2029 season in the trade that also saw Max Scherzer Jr and Miguel Mason arrive, and Patrick Snel depart. The lazy so-and-so looked like being a dud but has seen a substantial improvement while in the minors over the past few months. He looks to be essentially a similar type of player to Cruz but, since he's on minimum salary, earning one-thirtieth of the wage. Beane appears to want to give him a chance while he waits for uber-prospect Pepe Rios to be ready.

An A's spokesman refused to comment on speculation linking the organisation with moves for free agents Salvador Ortiz, the former all-star second baseman, and a third return to Oakland for outfielder Eddie Holland. "We do not comment on speculation which is unconfirmed but nonetheless true. Um, drat... Pretend you never heard me say that", he added.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
11 December 2030
"We're done", says Beane as Ortiz, Toussaint and Holland sign
By Earl E. Birdgetstheworm, proactivity correspondent

Oakland have done all their shopping well before Christmas again this year. The club announced yesterday the signing of three free agent veterans to bolster their depth, and explained that they did not expect to do any further business ahead of the 2031 season.

The key arrival is 31-year-old former all-star second baseman Salvador Ortiz, who joins on a two-year, $2m per annum deal and replaces Toyokazu Watanabe as primary infield backup. Power-hitting Ortiz was the 8th overall pick in the 2018 draft by the Orioles, but was traded and played all his MLB career with the Dodgers until he was traded to Boston ahead of the deadline this year. An excellent defender, he also plays all three outfield positions exceptionally well, giving Beane some much-needed roster permutation options.

Rumours abound of a bromance between Beane and outfielder Eddie Holland, who has remarkably joined the A's for the third time. Holland became a free agent at the end of the season, but has now signed on the dotted line for another year at the Coliseum. He'll begin the season in the minor league squad, as will newly arrived 34-year-old starting pitcher Touki Toussaint, who joins on a one-year deal to add pitching depth.

Oakland also announced contract extensions had been agreed with first baseman Luis Trujillo, third baseman Liam Brown and closer Gonzalo Avila. All were due to reach arbitration at the end of the forthcoming season, but will now not do so, and will remain with the A's for several more years. Trujillo and Avila agreed annual salaries well below their current arbitration estimates. Brown, not so much.

Sources with an interest in boring old financial matters say the A's player payroll for 2031 as things currently stand will be $124m, well within owner Ban-ki Rupt's usual $150m budget. That will rise to an expected $147m or so in 2032 when these contract extensions and other arbitration estimates are taken into account. It means the A's have budget headroom for this year only, and cannot take on a new, long-term free agent contract. According to Lucio Vargas's agent, they did make an audacious attempt to use their 2031 headroom to persuade the free agent pitcher to sign a one-year, $20m plus deal to return to the west coast, but he was having none of it and is intent on securing a multi-year contract. He may be 33 now, but he's so good he'll definitely get it somewhere or other. Sod's law says its at one of Oakland's rivals in the American League West who have a protected first round draft pick.

[Paulie123]

2000 views! I write this dynasty report simply because I thoroughly enjoy doing it. I just love playing the game and enjoy writing about it equally as much. Playing and writing about my A's team makes my commutes to and from work something to actually look forward to, and gives me something rather more fun to do when Mrs Paulie123 (not her real name) wants to watch some soaps in the evening. I don't think there are many of you following this thread, but if you are I hope you're finding it marginally interesting or informative or entertaining, or at least not an utterly infuriating waste of your time. If you think the Telegraph's reporting could be better in any way, well I'm on first name terms with the paper's editor so I can have a word...

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
2 March 2031
Vargas signs for Washington
By Ron Washington-Nationals, DC correspondent

Former Oakland superstar, free agent starting pitcher Lucio Vargas, has signed for Washington, it was announced last night. They will pay him a bank manager-upsetting $26m per year for three years.

A's fans were apparently shocked at the "news" that Vargas would not be returning to the organisation, although quite why that was when everyone has known perfectly well for months that he would be joining another team, is a mystery. GM Paulie Beane said, "Lucio was only here for a couple of years but led us to a World Series title and will always be a legend in Oakland. I wish him all the best in his time at the bottom of the National League. How irritatingly predictable that he should sign for a team with a protected first round draft pick, meaning we'll probably get little or no compensation to speak of."

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
6 April 2032
A's youngsters Rios and Vasquez feature in new Top 100 prospects list
By Juan Hundredprospects, minor leagues correspondent

Oakland are already one of the youngest teams in the MLB, but the future looks even rosier after the publication last night of BNN's annual Shot-in-the-dark-athon, the Top 100 Prospects List. The A's posted no fewer than three minor leaguers in the top twelve, with corner outfielder Pepe Rios climbing to #3, and righty starting pitchers Anastasio Vasquez and Joe Byrd appearing at #10 and #12 respectively. Pundits, those unimpeachable fountains of baseball knowledge, who have such insight into the game that they are unable to find employment actually working for a baseball team, predict that Rios and Byrd are likely to be on the major league roster before this season is over.

Fellow starter Elvin Dennis also features, at #39. Acquisitions over the past year, infielder Harvey Turner and outfielder Jean-Francois Pelletier, are at positions #43 and #63. Completing the A's complement are catchers Chun-mei Leong (#84) and Ben Jones (#87). General manager Paulie Beane paid what is becoming an annual tribute to minor league manager Ron Washington-Deecy and sabermetrician Mike Rosoft-Excel for their work in identifying and developing such talented young players. Beane said: "I like to ensure my staff in this organisation are generously rewarded for outstanding achievements. So, I have given Ron and Mike a $50 book token. Each! They can spend that on absolutely anything they want, as long as it's a book from the only local store that has signed up to our tokens scheme. I do surprise myself with my altruism sometimes. Well done to them both, they are a credit to this club."

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
7 April 2031
Weaker pitching threatens to create a more challenging season for Oakland
Baseball's back at last! The Oakland A's kick off their 2031 regular season campaign this afternoon, aiming to bounce back from their disappointing loss at the end of last year to Detroit in the American League championship series. Our correspondent Toto Liclueless assesses their chances of returning to the World Series.

Rotation: Oakland had one of the all-time great starting rotations last year. But with 9-time all-star Lucio Vargas now wasting his time, sorry, plying his trade in Washington, and 2030 Cy Young winner Brad Dundee on the disabled list for the entire season, they have a much more youthful and unfortunately much weaker-looking fivesome this time round. They still have superstar Karl Dickson (29/R/5*, 17-9 WL, 2.14 ERA in 2030) as their ace, however. Lefties Ramon Mendoza (26/L/4*, 12-2, 2.42) and Nathan Hamilton (27/L/4.5*, 16-9, 3.43) return too, and they'll need to step up if Oakland are to contend. A pair of wet behind the year youths have the unenviable task of trying to replace Vargas and Dundee. Carl Bates (20/R/4*, 4-2, 2.44) started eight games for the A's last year; he could be very handy if he can address his lack of stamina. This is also rather hampering his ability to hang onto a girlfriend. Fellow infant Antonio Perez (21/R/4*, 5-7, 5.28) made 17 starts for Kansas City before being acquired in the Roy Ellis trade and getting stashed in the minors; he's now let out of the dungeon and is ready to go. Joe Byrd and Touki Toussaint are high quality reserves.

Bullpen: In this baseball universe where most teams' bullpens are predominantly the wrong side of 35, Oakland's relief corps are, relatively speaking, still in their nappies. But they're good, at least on paper. Well, on my iPad. Closer Gonzalo Avila (23/L/3.5*, 8-2, 2.68, 20 SV) is rumoured to throw so hard he can break lead blocks. Throwing in the right direction more frequently would also be helpful. The set-up men are Jose Duran (27/L/5*, 8-5, 3.71), a.k.a. Mr Big BABIP, and last year's fast-developing second round draft pick Kenji Takahashi (22/R/5*, 0-0, 2.77). Frank Sargent (21/L/5*, 0-1, 2.77) and Nathan Boyd (23/R/5*, 5-2, 3.67) could become beasts. Weakling Porter Hawkins (23/R/4.5*, 0-1, 8.20) is a fragile little flower who even gets blown over by the breeze in Minute Maid Park and struggled last year, but has the raw attributes to become very good indeed. Runt of the litter is Jorge Sanchez (27/R/4.5*, 2-0, 4.37). A's pitching coach Ace Onballs is working on getting him to not pitch like he's giving batting practice, but the message seems to not be getting through. Byrd and several young relievers like Armando Rodriguez and Jonathan Hardy are putting pressure on him.

Catcher: Beane loves his options here: two decent guys both on minimum salary for at least the next couple of years, and both called Miguel. Miguel Rojas (26/S/2.5*, .326 OBP, 10 HR, 42 RBI in 2030) is better defensively, while random name generator malfunction Miguel Mason (24/R/4*, .361, 4, 17) is the better bat. They platoon, with Rojas playing against righty starting pitchers, and Mason against the southpaws.

Infield: Star first baseman Luis Trujillo (25/R/4.5*, .348, 30, 104) has been conned slash persuaded to sign a comparatively club-friendly deal that will keep him in Oakland until the end of 2035. Alejandro Gusman (28/L/4.5*, .384, 4, 64) at second base is never short of a bob or two these days, but was below par last season. Liam Brown (24/R/3.5*, .320, 5, 53) plays third base. Hitting the ball towards the fielders seems to be a particular talent of his, but he's good enough and cheap enough for GM Paulie Beane. At shortstop, Juan Jimenez (30/R/2.5*, .358, 7, 57) had a good year in 2030 but the team's scouts seem to think he's hopeless with the bat. Recent arrival Salvador Ortiz (31/R/3*, .320, 20, 56) and defensive specialist (translation: two sandwiches short of a picnic at the plate) Derek Hopkins (26/R/2.5*, .256, 1, 4) are rather too right-handed to form a good quality backup pairing. Max Scherzer Jr is back in the minors, because he's been even more of a "defensive specialist" than Hopkins.

Outfield: With Javier Cruz gone in the offseason, the A's are now so weak defensively at the corner outfield positions that even Dennis Hawkins (29/L/3*, .364, 14, 65) is now actually playing there, in right field. For someone who has just started a new 3-year, $15m per year contract, his batting ratings look worryingly on the wane. He-man William Morris (27/L/4.5*, .343, 40, 117) smashed and bashed everything small, round and white that moved last year, and takes over the designated hitter spot against righty pitchers. Juan Torres (29/R/2.5*, .281, 10, 59) returns for a fourth season as the A's centre fielder. Tasked with filling Cruz's boots is newly-promoted rookie Rob Dyment (24/R/2.5*, drafted 2027 rd 1 by Minnesota), who starts in left field. He's another powerful batter who makes the ball disappear - if he can actually manage to make contact. Fifth outfielder is Corey Hodges (28/R/2*, .330, 12, 32), who will pretend to be a supportive mentor and senior colleague of Dyment's, but in truth will be absolutely desperate to take his place in the starting lineup. All the guys will be looking over their shoulders at the fast-improving prospects Pepe Rios and Jean-Francois Pelletier.

The overall roster will be a concern to Oakland fans. Yes, they got 112 wins last year, but they were well beaten by Detroit in the championship series and now the cracks are showing. The rotation is clearly worse than last year. Key offensive cogs like Hawkins and Gusman look to be on a downward spiral. The bullpen is exceptionally young. There's plenty of power on offense, but can they get on base? Fans at the Coliseum have come to expect a playoff place; it's been a decade since they last missed out. They expect a tilt at the World Series. But after the champagne of the 2020s this year could prove to be rather flat beer. I predict a .500 season and not even a wildcard place, unless Beane can pull off some audacious mid-season trading.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
14 April 2031
Byrd suffers debut to forget
By Rob Bish, terrible play correspondent

If he ultimately develops into a good quality major leaguer, rookie starting pitcher Joe Byrd will look back on yesterday's game as the day where he really learned and understood what it takes to be a ballplayer. Called up last week to replace the injured Carl Bates in Oakland's rotation, who'll spend a fortnight on the disabled list, Byrd took to the mound to make his MLB debut in last night's match-up against the Los Angeles Dodgers at Dodger Stadium.

Things quickly went wrong for the 25-year-old, who was picked by Oakland in the second round of the 2027 amateur draft and has developed in their minor league system. Veteran LA batters Carlos Andres Diaz and Carlos Torres popped him for two solo homers in the 1st inning. First baseman Andy Stilson smacked him for another homer in a two-run 2nd inning. When shortstop Dorssys Paulino smoked him for a two-run homer with two out in the 3rd, making it 6-0 Dodgers and with four homers hitting the stands, field manager Phil D'Manager had seen enough and pulled him. The damage had been done, and the A's lost 10-6.

D'Manager defended his young pitcher at the post-match press conference, saying nerves had got the better of him on his first major league appearance. However he was overheard at pitchside during the game ranting about how Byrd's performance had been "utter, utter toilet", and rhetorically questioning "which fool picked him to start tonight?" GM Paulie Beane, the fool who had picked him to start last night, refused to speak to the press after the game and was nowhere to be seen. Insiders say Byrd will probably still take his further one or two turns in the rotation until Bates is fit again, rather than being immediately demoted.

Oakland have made a better than predicted start to the season. Despite last night's defeat, they are 6-3 and in first place in the American League West division. But there are warning signs of trouble. They are only 46-43 in runs scored and conceded, and their team ERA of 4.56 is not unadjacent to double what they put up last year. These are very early days and sample sizes are small, but fans spokesman O. Clandmad said supporters were getting concerned that pundits' preseason predictions may actually prove correct for a change.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
28 April 2031
It's all a bit of a struggle for mediocre A's
By Naz T. Pitching, high WHIPs correspondent

The naysayers may be right. As Oakland have limped to a 10-8 start to the season, putting them two games back of the Los Angeles Angels and in the unfamiliar surroundings of third place in the American League West division, there are few signs that this is a team that will be challenging for the World Series come autumn. It doesn't take a doctorate in applied quantum sabermetrics to work out where they're struggling: pitching, pitching, pitching.

So-called ace Karl Dickson has set the tone for the rest of the wayward throwing gang. The 29-year-old, who has career marks of 107-65 and a 2.94 ERA, has gone 0-3 with a 6.04 ERA from four starts so far. The misdirected pitching disease appears to have spread to several others on the roster. Relievers Porter Hawkins and Kenji Takahashi have seemingly forgotten that the aim of the game is to get batters out, not to help them reach first base. The others could at best be described as underwhelming. Only youngster Frank Sargent appears immune to the illness so far. Pitching coach Ace Onballs, so often lauded for his work on the west coast, suddenly finds himself under pressure to turn things around.

General manager Paulie Beane, outwardly at least, says the A's pitchers have too much class to remain so subdued and he is confident they will get better. Privately he may not be so sanguine about it; insiders say a dart board has recently appeared on the wall of Beane's office and it currently has the pictures of several pitchers pinned to it. Still, it could be much worse for the A's, just ask Texas fans. They're 3-16. Oops.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
21 May 2031
A's begin to find their stride again as Rays are swatted aside
By Honor March, good form correspondent

The rest of the league is just beginning to keep half an eye out for Oakland again. The perennial playoff contenders look to be recovering from a shaky start which saw many so-called experts write them off early for this year. That may no longer be the case, after last night's 15-1 humiliation of the Tampa Bay Rays, which means the A's have won 8 out of their last 10 games, and have moved through the gears to reach 23-15. That places them second in the American League West, 1.5 games behind leaders Houston.

Maybe what general manager Paulie Beane said publicly about his pitchers being too good to continue struggling was right. Maybe the symbolic threat of having darts thrown at their heads worked. Maybe it is just a fortuitous streak of games and the wheels will come off again soon. Maybe this is just a computer game and not real life baseball. Whatever the reason, Oakland's pitching has started to improve again, and with that has come that most valuable of commodities in the game: wins.

Last night's game at Tropicana Field was just brutal for the Rays fans to watch. Over 35,000 of the poor old souls turned up after work, but most had long since trudged home again to do something less depressing when Jose Duran finally secured the final out for Oakland. Exemplifying the A's recent pitching improvements, lefty Nathan Hamilton threw 7.2 innings for just a single run. Meanwhile, on offense, the A's only failed to score in the 4th and 6th innings. Luis Trujillo, Salvador Ortiz, now playing every day at left field in preference to struggling Rob Dyment, and catcher Miguel Rojas, all had 4 hits and a home run.

Dyment's lukewarm form has led many A's fans to clamour for the promotion from the minors of ultra-mega-prospect Pepe Rios, who, according to hitting coach Noah Hitter, has improved hugely this season. Cynics suggest that Beane is deliberately delaying Rios's promotion for a few more weeks yet, to mean that he will eventually spend in excess of three years on the roster before he reaches arbitration, by avoiding the risk of him being a super-two qualifier in a couple of years. Cynics are cynical, but they can be right.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
1 June 2031
Beane stocks up on yet more relief pitchers in the draft
By Maura Pitchers, arms correspondent

Oakland GM Paulie Beane has picked hot reliever prospects Brandon Lee, Esteban Mendez and Pedro Ramirez in the amateur draft. He arguably did not need yet more pitching, but grumbled to reporters afterwards that, picking 30th, all the best players remaining on the board were pitchers when Oakland's time came, so he was left with no real alternative.

Lee was the A's first round choice, and fans are excited at the prospect of seeing the 19-year-old in action hopefully within in a couple of years. Flame-throwing Lee is clocked at 101mph plus on the speed guns, making him the fastest pitcher in the entire universe. 21-year-old Mendez is only slightly slower, and scouts project him to develop exceptional control. They also rate him a 4* pitcher already, and he is considered major-league ready. Ramirez, a 20-year-old lefty, is also expected to become a master of control.

Oakland's major league team have continued their improving form in recent weeks. As their pitching has got better, as Beane expected, so the wins have come. The A's are now back with their usual best team ERA in the American League, and have enjoyed several blow-out wins. They now stand at 30-19. That's good enough for second place in the AL West division, just half a game back of early pacesetters Houston. Watch out also for surprise package LA Angels. Despite having one of the largest payroll budgets in the entire American League, the useless Angels have failed to win a divisional title or qualify for the playoffs at all during the Dynastic Era. But currently they sit just 4 games back of Houston, and, for the first time in a generation, are in the hunt for a postseason berth.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
11 June 2031
Trujillo hot streak fires A's to top of AL West
By Sam Oldstory, deja vu correspondent

First baseman Luis Trujillo is making American League ballparks look very small right now. The hunky slugger is at the peak of his game, and has helped propel the A's into their predictably familiar position in first place in the American League West division. The 25-year-old is seeing it like a football right now, and has smoked 6 home runs in his last 7 games. He also went 5-5 in last week's 5-1 win over Baltimore.

Two of those homers came in last night's stroll to a 7-0 victory over the Chicago White Sox at Cellular Field. Trujillo started the rout in his first at-bat in the top of the 1st inning, smashing a 3-run home run into the second tier. For good measure he added a solo shot in the 3rd inning, a hit which caused great mirth when it was embarrassingly dropped in the crowd by none other than sacked ESPN pundit John Krukadoodledoo, the man who so famously, confidently and generously predicted that Paulie Beane would be a hopeless GM for the Oakland organisation. With Nathan Hamilton on fire, throwing 7.2 innings and giving up just two hits and one walk, the game was effectively over before the White Sox even stepped out to bat.

So far this season, Trujillo is making a strong push for a first call-up to the all-star game, by wellying a .355 on-base percentage, and an impressive .944 OPS. In 57 games played, he has 17 home runs and 48 RBIs. After yesterday's blowout win, the A's now stand at 35-23, and have a slender one game advantage over early divisional pacesetters the Houston Astros. Proving that last year's World Series win was no fluke, the Detroit Tigers have the best record in baseball, at 39-19.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
24 June 2031
Rios makes long-awaited Oakland debut as rash of injuries tests roster depth
By A. King-Joints, niggly injuries correspondent

Nearly 35,000 fans crammed into the Coliseum last night to see Pepe Rios, Oakland's power-hitting young outfield prospect, finally make his major league debut for the club. Having cynically and unashamedly kept the young lad in the minors all season so far in an attempt to delay him reaching arbitration until the end of the 2034 season, Oakland GM Paulie Beane's hand was finally forced by a slew of injuries. Brad Dundee is already on the disabled list for the entire season - did we ever mention that? Now, joining him for a spell on the DL are centre fielder Juan Torres, Liam Brown, who Beane has recently switched to play shortstop, and second baseman and lead off hitter Alejandro Gusman. The three wusses are suffering from a range of ailments, but should all be back on the roster in a fortnight's time. Meanwhile, Rios replaces Torres on the roster, Derek Hopkins takes Brown's spot, and unknown career minor league roster filler Jose Lozano takes Gusman's spot. Salvador Ortiz will slot in to start at second in Gusman's place. We will see how deep the A's farm system really is.

In echoes of the Kris Bryant / Chicago Cubs situation at the start of 2015, Beane, playing the Theo Epstein role to perfection, last night hilariously and implausibly claimed that "It is our policy not to put rookies on the active roster at the start of the season", because "We wanted Pepe to get back into the swing of playing before he faces big league pitching for the first time." This is known in the trade as a boad of lollocks. Rios had 41 days of service time from a September call-up by previous club Seattle during which he ludicrously didn't make a single appearance. Presumably he has perfected his technique for getting cups of water for more senior comrades who are actually playing in a game. With a maximum of just over 100 days of service time remaining this year, Beane hopes that Rios will narrowly avoid being a super-two qualifier for arbitration at the end of 2033.

Rios didn't disappoint the crowd last night, helping the A's to a 9-4 win over world champs Detroit, a result which doesn't in the slightest compensate for losing to the Tigers in last year's American League championship series. Rios smacked a tidy RBI single in his first ever major league plate appearance, as the A's put 4 runs on the board in the bottom of the 1st. Detroit hit back by milking starter Ramon Mendoza for 3 runs in the top of the 2nd, but, when Max Scherzer Jr hit a solo homer in the 3rd, it was 7-3 Oakland and game over. Rios thwacked a double in the 5th to complete a satisfying 2-4 day.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
30 June 2031
A's wallop 8 home runs against Texas, but still need 13 innings to win
By A. Toamruns, big bats correspondent

On the one hand, A's GM Paulie Beane was delighted. His lineup last night smashed the hapless pitching of the Texas Rangers for no fewer than EIGHT home runs. No more than eight, but no fewer either. On the other hand, Beane was none too thrilled by the performance of his relief corps who nearly managed to throw the game away, and was pretty hacked off that eight home runs yielded only ten runs in total. The A's triumphed 10-7.

When Juan Jimenez hit a solo bomb in the top of 8th inning, Oakland's fourth of the day at that point, it made the score 5-1 and it looked all over. But Beane's inexperienced bullpen is stretching to breaking point his attempts to continue with his calmer behaviour, last night bringing him to the brink of returning to his old habit of breaking doors, windows, furniture, walls and anything else in his office which can be hit, in frustrated rages. Jose Duran and Porter Hawkins combined to let the Rangers score 3 in the bottom of the 8th, before Gonzalo Avila, doing his best to dispense himself of the pressure of closer duties, blew his fifth save of the year as Texas levelled it up.

Much to everyone's surprise given the form of both relief corps, there was no further scoring until the 13th inning, when all hell broke loose. Oakland tried to make a late entry into the home run derby, as they whacked no fewer (and again, no more) than 4 deep shots in the inning, as they put up 5 runs. But more drama was to follow. Pitching his third inning of relief by that point, righty Jorge Sanchez decided to keep the crowd entertained by giving up a 2-run homer in the bottom of the inning. Field manager Phil D'Manager was physically spitting feathers by that point, and, if his thunderous looks could kill, Sanchez would have been vaporised on the spot, leaving only a pair of smoking shoes. Sanchez hurriedly wrapped up the win, leaving the pitch without so much as a glance in D'Manager's direction, lest he spontaneously combust.

The victory moves the A's to 46-30. As we approach the halfway stage, it's currently a nail biting two-way dogfight at the top of the American League West, with Oakland holding a negligible one game lead over Houston. The LA Angels's long wait for a postseason campaign looks set to continue, as they have fallen right away and are back where they usually reside, below .500.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
10 July 2031
Player in focus: Luis Trujillo
Slugger Luis Trujillo is hot this season, and making GM Paulie Beane's decision to sign him to a long-term contract extension for an additional four years after this one, look very smart. The person we turn to whenever we can't be bothered to find out some genuine news to report on, Lou Kingatyoukid, gives us the lowdown on the 25-year-old menace to pitchers.

Role
A first baseman so good he makes it seem like a distant dream that Ike Davis ever played the position for the club.

Nickname
None. When he first arrived at the Coliseum, he tried to get staff and fellow players alike to call him "The Admiral". But no one could do it and keep a straight face, so he dropped the idea.

Career history
Trujillo was drafted out of college by former club Detroit with the 14th overall pick of the draft in 2026. He received the call-up to the active roster in the second half of the 2028 season. A regular for Detroit from then on, he played just under 140 games in total for the Tigers before joining the A's shortly before the trade deadline in 2029, in an exchange which saw the A's also receive hot pitching prospect Anastasio Vasquez, while Detroit got outfield Luis Guzman and reliever Jose Martinez. Pundits predicted that with that trade, Beane would derail Oakland's strong challenge for the playoffs that year. But as usual, what do pundits know? Trujillo made an instant impression with the A's, putting up a .410 OBP and 1.010 OPS over the final 72 games of the season, catapulting them into the postseason, and ultimately to a stunning World Series win. With very good contact and immense power at the plate, against both lefties and righties, the 25-year-old Trujillo is set to be a lynchpin of the Oakland roster for years to come.

Career highlights
1 World Series ring (Oakland 2029)
1 AL championship pennant (Oakland 2029)
2 AL West pennants (Oakland 2029, Oakland 2030)

Hobbies
Postal voting fraud, collecting thimbles.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
14 July 2031
A's establish clear lead in AL West, receive five all-star call-ups
By B. Neerbefore, deja vu correspondent

At yesterday's post-game press conference, Oakland GM Paulie Beane reflected on what he described as a "highly satisfying" and "to be honest highly surprising" first half of the season. Despite last night's narrow 3-2 defeat to Texas, the A's had won their previous 7 games and 10 of the last 12, and now stand at 56-33. With division challengers Houston losing their last 5, it means Oakland have suddenly jumped out to a commanding 8 game lead over the Astros in the American League West division. Defying the doom-laden pre-season predictions of informed and ill-informed pundits alike, and a stuttering start to the season, Beane's boys look well placed to win a fourth straight division title, which would make it ten consecutive years of featuring in the playoffs. Not bad. The days of Beane seemingly having to endure the annual torture of trying to squeak into the postseason via the wildcard game seem a distant memory at this point.

Reflecting on the season so far, Beane told reporters he thought there had been some terrific performances from his players, but joked (I think) that he still had some players' pictures pinned to his office dartboard. The trio of starting pitchers called up to the all-star game, Carl Bates, Antonio Perez, and Nathan Hamilton, drew particular praise. Hamilton is 13-1 with a 0.96 WHIP. Bates at 4-6 has had less run support but has a 2.69 ERA. Perez (9-6, 3.01) has just been fantastic in his first full major league season.

One of the faces suspected to be on Beane's dartboard is reliever Gonzalo Avila. Avila has 21 saves but has blown 5 opportunities and has a disappointing 4.27 FIP. He's simply not pitched very well, and that he has just received his second all-star selection shows the stupid amount of value all-star voters place on the largely meaningless save statistic. The day before the all-star rosters were announced, Beane demoted him from the closer role to setup, replacing him with fellow lefty Jose Duran.

Karl Dickson is definitely someone on Beane's dartboard, and his picture must be littered with tiny holes by now. Only halfway through the first twelve months of his mammoth 5-year, $100m contract, the four-time all-star and former Cy Young winner is having a year to forget. Career, he's 114-69 with a 3.01 ERA, but this year he's 7-7 and 4.47. Most worryingly, pitching coach Ace Onballs has downgraded his assessments of Dickson's abilities, something Beane certainly wasn't expecting from a guy with an iron man injury reputation. Club accountant Dee Loite is reportedly barely able to sleep with the worry of such a large contract looking like it might go bad. If Dickson doesn't return to his old self early next season, could Beane try and trade him?

Oakland's final all-star pick was first baseman Luis Trujillo. He's in sensational form right now, and with 28 home runs and 72 RBIs already, could rip up the A's batting record books at this rate. Not chosen for the annual pointless schedule-filler, but nonetheless very firmly in Beane's good books, are right fielder Dennis Hawkins (.403 OBP, .910 OPS) and recent promotee Pepe Rios (.366 OBP, .866 OPS).

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
27 July 2031
A's acquire Plourde and Childers, as Toussaint, Dennis and Holland depart
By Anne Otherpitchingprospect, stocking up on arms correspondent

It looks like Oakland GM Paulie Beane will, for once, not be faced with a budget crisis in the forthcoming offseason, ahead of the 2032 season. The offseason after next, maybe, but he has respite for a year. So, it means that he has the rare luxury of not seeking to trade away a key player on a large or expiring contract as the trade deadline approaches.

Instead, Beane yesterday completed a couple of trades, which saw him gets his grubby hands on yet another hot pitching prospect, while shipping out as trade chips his unused veteran free agent winter signings, Eddie Holland and Touki Toussaint. The first trade, with Minnesota, saw righty Mario Plourde, the 23-year-old right who is BNN's #22 prospect, join the phalanx of good young arms on the A's minor league roster. Toussaint and Elvin Dennis, who does not seem to be developing as scouts envisaged and so has fallen out of favour with Beane, move the other way. The second trade, with Toronto, pushed 25-year-old shortstop Aaron Childers into Beane's clutches, with Holland, who now surely has concluded his A's career at the third time of asking, heading Torontowards.

The 60-38 A's have stuttered somewhat since the all-star recess, but with Houston stumbling to another sequence of successive losses, Oakland's advantage in the American League West is holding steady at 8.5 games.

Terrific thinking from the Twins, there. Let the A's have yet another hot pitching prospect. Brilliant.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
3 August 2031
Merciless A's spank Twins 18-0 for record win
By A. Teenzip, thrashings correspondent

When Touki Toussaint was told by Minnesota's manager that he would be taking the mound for last night's game against Oakland, he must have thought it would be the perfect opportunity to put one over the team that traded him away without even giving him the chance to play. It ever so slightly didn't quite work out that way.

Toussaint was merely the first of half a dozen hapless Twins pitchers who were taken to the cleaners by a bang in form A's lineup. The A's only failed to score in the 8th and 9th innings, when it was clear they were too busy laughing and joking to take their plate appearances seriously any more. Their sequence of innings scores was 2-3-2-5-2-3-1-0-0. Toussaint himself lasted only 1.2 innings, which was still enough time for him to be milked for 7 hits and 5 runs. His bullpen colleagues did no better. The final score was 18-0, the A's biggest win under GM Paulie Beane.

Offensive highlights are almost too numerous to mention, but the whole point of a newspaper is to mention things that have happened, so we ought to have a go. Right fielder Dennis Hawkins went 3-4 with 2 home runs and 6 RBIs. Left fielder Salvador Ortiz went 4-6 with 1 home run and 4 RBIs. Shortstop Liam Brown went 4-5 with a homer and 3 ribbies. Meanwhile, on the mound, Karl Dickson showed that there is perhaps life in the overpaid old dog yet, as he threw 8.2 scoreless innings, giving up only 4 hits.

The blowout win moves Oakland to 66-39. Bookmakers have stopped taking bets on them reclaiming their American League West division crown, with chasers Houston tripping over their own feet to stumble to 54-51, some 12 games back.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
19 August 2031
Duran excels in new closer role as A's continue to steamroller the AL West
By Mary Arnorivera, closers correspondent

A month ago, as the July trade deadline approached, it looked like lefty reliever Jose Duran's time at the Coliseum was up. The 27-year-old was due to be a free agent at the end of the season. GM Paulie Beane felt he wasn't playing well enough to justify the likely $6m plus salary he could probably command for a new contract. The club had a multitude of talented young arms in the minors. He was ripe to be the latest experienced player Beane would flip for a prospect.

But then previous closer Gonzalo Avila blew yet another save, and an exasperated Beane looked round his bullpen for options for a new closer. "Hmm", he thought, looking at pitching coach Ace Onballs's latest report card on Duran. "Hmm", he said. He looked again at Duran's ERA data: 3.71 in 2030. He looked again at Duran's FIP: 2.93 in 2030. He looked again at Duran's strikeouts to walks ratio: 3.04 in 2030. "Hmm", he said for what seemed like the hundredth time, in the vague direction of team analyst Mike Rosoft-Excel, who was doing something or other on a spreadsheet at a desk nearby and getting increasingly irritated by all the hmm-ing. "Hmm".

Beane picked up the phone. "Phil, it's Paulie", he said into the receiver. Phil was field manager Phil D'Manager. "Beane, of course, you plum. Who did you think? Paulie Cicero from Goodfellas? Listen. Our next game, against the Indians. I want Jose to close... No, not Fernandez. For crying out loud. He hasn't played for us for four years. Duran, of course. I want Jose Duran to be our closer."

He hung up. He pondered for a moment, then picked up the phone again and dialled a number. "Hello, can I speak to Scott Boredass please? Hi, Scott, it's Paulie. No. Beane not Cicero. Every time. And it's never been funny. Hey, can we talk about Jose Duran? We like him, he's part of the fabric of the club, and we want him to stay. We'd like to offer him $2m to stay for two more years... No?... Okay then, yes I agree, $13m for two years. It's a deal. My secretary will speak to yours about sorting out the paperwork. Don't choke on the cheque Jose gives you for your 10%", he added, after he'd put the phone down. Man, he bargains hard that Beane.

Duran didn't get the save in that next game, the first after the all-star break. But he did get credited with a win, throwing the two final, scoreless innings as the A's beat the Indians 2-1 in the 10th. And he has excelled since then in the closer role. In last night's 6-3 win he bagged his tenth save, striking out two in a 1-2-3 final inning. His 75-44 Oakland club look to have yet another American League West pennant sewn up, as they have extended their lead over second-placed Houston to 15.5 games.

Duran was the A's first round pick in the 2025 draft and has never been to the all-star game. If he keeps this up, he'll certainly be going next year.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
20 August 2031
Stats Amazing: American League Cy Young winners
We hadn't heard from him for ages so assumed our editor had got rid of him. Turns out, our resident nerd Joe Nahill has just spent several months shut up in his room playing World of Warcraft and wondering what a real life naked woman looks like. Now he's back, and has written a fairly uninteresting piece, for no other reason than that no one has bothered to stop him.

Oakland's pitching has, for seemingly the last umpteen seasons, been the strongest in baseball. Even this year, after early struggles where their team ERA was festering stubbornly above 4.50, they have steadily improved and now are the best in the MLB once again. Today, their team ERA for the season stands at 3.61. Second is St. Louis with their devastating starting pitching pair Vincent Austin and James Groves, at 3.68. Second in the American League are the LA Angels at a distant 4.29. And that pitching strength is also exemplified by the A's dominance of American League Cy Young awards during the Dynastic Era. Jose Fernandez has won four, and Karl Dickson and Brad Dundee one apiece. Here is the full list:

2015 - Chris Sale (Chicago White Sox)
2016 - Chris Sale (Chicago White Sox)
2017 - Christian Binford (Kansas City)
2018 - Taijuan Walker (Seattle)
2019 - Tim Powers (Houston)
2020 - Kyle Crick (Houston)
2021 - Jose Berrios (Minnesota)
2022 - Jose Fernandez (Oakland)
2023 - Jose Fernandez (Oakland)
2024 - Jose Fernandez (Oakland)
2025 - Moises Gomez (Minnesota)
2026 - Jose Fernandez (Oakland)
2027 - Christian Binford (Seattle)
2028 - Karl Dickson (Oakland)
2029 - Gerardo Moreno (NY Yankees) (boo!)
2030 - Brad Dundee (Oakland)