Yet Another OOTP6 Dynasty, Year 2: One Flew Over the Pale Hose

[cknox0723]

Brief moments. Life doesn't allow for much more than that. If it did, the sunrise would be perpetual. We get one of those moments right away in this sixth game of the season.

Ramon Vazquez leads off, as is the custom in Aibonito, Puerto Rico. But we ain't in Aibonito anymore, and Josh Beckett is the Wicked Witch of the Midwest. He alternates balls and strikes his first four pitches, which sounds more promising than it actually is. A two-strike count, a .312 OBP, and a man that threw nearly 300 innings with a sub-2.00 ERA over the course of 2006 usually intersect at one point. You can guess where this is going.

But instead of striking out, Ramon Vazquez fouls off a pitch or two, takes a ball out of the zone, and then another. A walk -- the sirloin steak of baseball. Done right, it's a fine treat. But one burnt to a crisp, or watching four pitches bounce to the backstop after leaving the hand of Seth McClung, this universe's Vic Zambrano -- what is that? Who cares? I can burn a steak!!

But this was a well-done walk, even if I do prefer my steaks medium-rare. It's a brief moment of satisfaction. A sunrise.

But things aren't that bleak in Pale Hose land, at least not yet. We get some more to cheer about. Adam Kennedy lines a single over first, putting runners on the corners. Then, for the hell of it, he takes off for second on the first pitch to #3 hitter and Proven Deity Magglio Ordonez. Beckett offers a first pitch breaking ball. Maggs lets it pass, and it's steal number one for Adam F. Kennedy. Second and third, no one out. Got to score, right?

Sure. "Buddha" Ordonez rips a hard shot to the left side. Joe Crede makes a hell of a stop, but all it really does is get his uniform dirty, and Ordonez is on base for the sixth time in a row. Frank Thomas steps in and steps up, notching his sixth ribbie of the year with a base hit over second, and we've gotten two runners home. It could be more, but Raul Gonzalez just misses on a hanging curveball, hitting a long fly that ends up as nothing more than exercise for Corey Patterson. Those two runners could be more, but Jeremy Reed raps a hard shot right at keystone man Ben Broussard, who makes a deft pivot and then lumbers over to the bag to receive Angel Berroa's toss back. Reed's a step slow, and the inning's over just like that. It could have been more.

It wasn't. But we won our first game yesterday, Mark Buehrle's on the mound, and we're up a couple of runs. Who cares about the hypothetical? Brief moments of satisfaction. This is as good a chance we'll get to win two in a row, maybe all season.

[seth70liz76]

It is like (forgive OOTP Gods) like listening to a game on radio, albeit with longer than usual commercial breaks. The ebb and flow--swings in emotion and momentium, all can be felt here. Sunrise, Sunset pt 1 was one of the best descriptions of what the game can be like--and it had nothing to do with baseball! Things are at peace, rest and then suddenly--you're soaked and have no idea what to do. If that's not baseball, I don't know what is.

[ifspuds]

Seth just hit on what's so great (for me) about this thread. The writing may not always be about baseball, there may be a hundred tangents and three posts about a single game, but it's *always* enjoyable. You've got an inimitable way with words, Mr. Pale Hose. Kudos.

[CTSoxFan]

Ive just finished reading/skimming season 1 and all of season 2 that has been put up so far and I am amazed by your writing. It inspired me to start my own dynasty, "Down By The Bay". The team is one you can really fall in love with, you make the players lovable even though most are losers. Jeremy Reed is a player I have come to root for since his first big clutch home run and everytime he fails it makes me sad, but then I begin to hope he can do better later, same with Jon Rauch. You take real life players and make them feel almost fictional, by adding a "fake" aspect to their lives in this universe through nicknames, etc. The ups and downs of this dynasty is what makes reading it so enjoyable. Keep up the good work Craig!

[cknox0723]

i am lucky guy, to be getting all these kind words, both from people who i knew were reading and people i did not. keep it up and someone will end up in my signature soon.

thanks, fellas. and not that anyone needs me to tell them this, but make sure to spread the love to some dynasties about teams that'll win more than 50 games.

[cknox0723]

Originally Posted by cknox

But we won our first game yesterday, Mark Buehrle's on the mound, and we're up a couple of runs. (...) This is as good a chance we'll get to win two in a row, maybe all season.

Buehrle does nothing to change my mind about our chances with a one-two-three first, bringing to mind Mr. Hulten's second-favorite word, businesslike.

We don't hit in the top of the second and Buehrle puts a couple guys on, but who cares? The score doesn't change, and that's all that matters!

Same for the third. Shortstop Vazquez, up for the second time, leads off with a base hit, but then falls down trying to beat a sneaky pickoff throw by Josh Beckett. Adam Kennedy follows with his second hit. We then make two outs in a row. Oops. Way to go, guys.

Mark Buehrle erases that painful little memory with a perfect bottom half, but two of his outs were tallied against the pitcher Beckett and an outfielder who hits about as well as his pitcher, Alex Escobar. That's unfair to a man who hit .346 for AAA Buffalo last year, but he's still not very good, so screw 'im anyway. Looking at just who he was facing, I should be thinking, "Who the hell cares?" Instead, my head's in the clouds.

With that being the case, wouldn't it be a real pity if it started raining?

[CTSoxFan]

Originally Posted by cknox0723

i am lucky guy, to be getting all these kind words, both from people who i knew were reading and people i did not. keep it up and someone will end up in my signature soon.

thanks, fellas. and not that anyone needs me to tell them this, but make sure to spread the love to some dynasties about teams that'll win more than 50 games.

Thats the thing, you make reading about a team that barely wins a lot more fun than one that loses, thats why you have so many fans.

[cknox0723]

Originally Posted by CTSoxFan

Thats the thing, you make reading about a team that barely wins a lot more fun than one that loses, thats why you have so many fans.

actually, i'd bet it's at least half due to the fact that all this losing is a boost to the ego of anyone who reads this thread!

[canadiancreed]

Originally Posted by cknox0723

actually, i'd bet it's at least half due to the fact that all this losing is a boost to the ego of anyone who reads this thread!

exactly. No matter hwo bad your team is doing, or how you wish you could give a collective ass-kicking, there's always a team that's worse, the Pale Hose

[cknox0723]

Neither literal nor metaphorical rain comes in the top of the fourth inning -- the former because it's a clear forty degree day, and the latter because by rule, we're not allowed to score a negative amount of runs. We give it a shot, though, stranding Jeremy Reed at second after a one-out walk and stolen base.

That ain't great, but it gets worse as Mark Buehrle looks like a completely different pitcher in the bottom of the inning. Shannon Stewart leads off with a single. I sense something ominous when Buehrle smacks Angel Berroa in the small of the back with an errant slider. Sure enough, Mark Bellhorn fouls off a bunch of pitches and then, like Thor, takes a mighty swing of a club and unleashes a fierce, unmistakable hell with a loud sound. Single to center -- now the lead's down to one, there's two men on, and still no one out.

What the hell is Mark Buehrle going to do now?

"Nothing and one to the third baseman Crede, who flew out in the second. Berroa at second, Bellhorn at first, each with slight leads. They'll stay put as Buehrle comes to the set, holds there for a moment, and now kicks and fires towards home plate. Fastball up in the zone, swung on and hit a long ways to left-center...back is Gonzalez...still going back, at the track, at the wall, he leaps, but that ball is ten rows into the seats! A three-run home run for Joe Crede, his third of the year, and the Tribe jump out on top, 4-2."

Well, that'll clear the bases, at least. Were this a century ago, Buehrle would be known as "The $50 Million Dollar Turkey" or "Ol' Four-Run." It's almost unfortunate that it's 2007, and he is still "The Buehrle One." But perhaps because of that, he gives us two more strong innings after finally escaping the fourth. I suppose he's "businesslike", with the emphasis on the second part of the word.

And we are still the very unbusinesslike Pale Hose. Our bats go silent over the middle innings. Buehrle walks to start the fifth, Angel Berroa muffs a bouncer off the bat of Ramon Vazquez, and we get two on. Perfect chance for a rally, right?

2B Adam Kennedy:
Strikes out looking.

RF Magglio Ordonez:
Flies out to short left-center.

1B Frank Thomas:
Flies out to short left field.

No matter how poor a team you can find...there is always the Pale Hose. A double play kills a sixth-inning rally, and we get an encore in the seventh. Poor timing, poor talent, or something else?

How much of it is the memory of those three innings where we were beating the guy with that line, damn it, and then having Joe Crede step in and change all that with one cut? The same guy who posted a titanic .274 OBP over 392 at-bats last season steers us straight into an iceberg. We may have trouble scoring runs, but two could have been enough. Thanks to Joe Crede, it wasn't.

How do you get up the drive to dust yourself off from that and start a rally? We flail away some more in the last three innings, even after Beckett departs in favor of Fausto Carmona, and the score doesn't change in the slightest all the way up to Yorvit Torrealba, who makes out number twenty-seven by hitting a long fly ball that doesn't have the legs to end up anywhere but in the grasp of Alex Escobar. Once again, I'm left wondering, "What the hell am I going to do now?"

Of course I don't have an answer for that. But life would be boring if we had all the answers. We may have lost this one, but Buehrle could have gotten knocked out in the third, or we could have scored our two runs in the ninth, when it was apparent that any hope would have been transparent. Instead, we got to see a three-inning long sunrise before the sun set yet again on our chances at victory. But, as Hootie & the Blowfish once sang, tomorrow is another day, and I don't believe in time.

CHW 2 CLE 4

WP: J. Beckett (1-1) - 7 IP, 7 H, 2 R, 3 BB, 4 K
LP: M. Buehrle (0-2) - 6 IP, 4 H, 4 R, 2 BB, 3 K
S: F. Carmona (1)

Appallingly Above-Average: You might note that Angel Berroa doubled and was also hit by a pitch, leading to one of the four fourth-inning runs, and think he's a dirt-streaked, hard-nosed ballplayer. But Berroa also committed a fifth-inning error with a man on and none out. A good team would have turned that into a run or two -- we didn't. This man also walked all of 19 times last season in 505 at-bats. I'd rather have The Hacktastic One, who's still batting 1.000 -- a perfect one for one.

[CTSoxFan]

Tough loss, Buehrle is off to a rough start.

But I guess he is just a slow starter...last season he went 0-2 in his first two starts as well. But his third start is when he started to look really good, and shut out the Orioles for 7 innings. Hopefully he can do as well in his third start this season, because I love The Buehrle One

[cknox0723]

Originally Posted by CTSoxFan

Tough loss, Buehrle is off to a rough start.

But I guess he is just a slow starter...last season he went 0-2 in his first two starts as well. But his third start is when he started to look really good, and shut out the Orioles for 7 innings. Hopefully he can do as well in his third start this season, because I love The Buehrle One

excellent post, CT. the thought crossed my mind as well; i am not sure whether it would mean anything either way if he is, in fact, a slow starter. i am 100% confident that he will be on "the next good pale hose team", so i guess that'll just be another perspective to look at our championship-winning season.

whenever that comes.

[cknox0723]

game vii - chw (1-5) @ cle (2-4) - "turning the corner"

last year went a little like this...: a 10-5 WIN behind a helluva start from...esteban loaiza.

this year should be a little like...: j. garland (0-1, 10.50) vs. c. bartosh (0-0, 2.57)

Take a look at this series of numbers and tell me what comes next:

3.55
5.56
4.94
4.84
2.09
1.64

If you are analyzing baseball and come across those numbers under the 'ERA' column, most folks would say that displayed in those numbers is a man that has "turned a corner." That's the phrase, isn't it? "Turned a corner." He's on the verge of becoming an ace, wouldn't you say that?

But think about it a second. Where in life can you actually turn a corner? You use the phrase when talking about driving a car -- but that ignores the fact that you can just turn around. Hell, almost all roads are interconnected anyway! You don't turn a corner when making a left onto Spring Valley Road; you're just veering slightly off your original path.

Why should that change when applied to baseball analysis? Jon Garland is of course the man detailed above by six numbers, the man who supposedly turned the corner in the last two months of 2006. But in reality, he was just veering slightly off his original path, that of a mediocre pitcher.

MONTH		IP	H/IP	BB/IP	K/IP	ERA
April		33	1.03	0.61	0.42	3.55
May		34	1.21	0.74	0.71	5.56
June		31	1.29	0.48	0.71	4.94
July		22.1	1.12	0.45	0.90	4.84
August		38.2	0.62	0.31	0.54	2.09
September	38.1	0.76	0.34	0.44	1.64

While Jon Garland's three-year contract is probably going to be a dud, he was never going to be even half the pitcher that his opponent Cliff Bartosh is, whether Jon Moo has turned a mythical corner or not. Though now that I think about it -- Bartosh won 20 last year, Garland won nine. That's almost half, isn't it?

Maybe that's a good sign.

[CTSoxFan]

Garland definitely turned the corner this year in real-life, so maybe he can do it for your Pale Hose. I was glad you resigned him, the nickname of Moo makes him worth having on the team, he could be a solid third or fourth starter behind Buerhle and Scarborough on the "next good pale hose team"

[cknox0723]

Originally Posted by cknox

While Jon Garland's three-year contract is probably going to be a dud, he was never going to be even half the pitcher that his opponent Cliff Bartosh is, whether Jon Moo has turned a mythical corner or not. Though now that I think about it -- Bartosh won 20 last year, Garland won nine. That's almost half, isn't it?

Maybe that's a good sign.

Maybe it is a good sign, but if that is the case, it's obscured by fog. As you might expect, we are thrashed by a score of seven to one in this ballgame, managing just three hits off of Cliff Bartosh, who goes the distance, striking out eleven and not allowing a single free pass to first.

Sounds like we took one to the chin, right?

Maybe not so much. One of our three hits was a solo home run by Magglio Ordonez, hit with two outs...in the top of the first. That run was the difference between our club and theirs over the first three and a half innings. Jon Garland didn't give up a run until the fourth, and even then, three consecutive hits only led to two Cleveland runs. The Cleveland bats didn't really start roaring until the sixth frame. Until then, it was a two-one game.

There's a lesson to be learned there -- there are positives and negatives in every game, and we need not read into them as much as we frequently do. Though where the hell to go beyond that -- and there is somewhere to go, because all those singular games added up to 69 wins in 2006 -- I have no idea. I guess we're heading there.

CHW 1 CLE 7

WP: C. Bartosh (1-0) - CG, 3 H, 1 R, 0 BB, 11 K
LP: J. Garland (0-2) - 6 IP, 8 H, 7 R, 4 BB, 4 K

Hmm... Jon Garland's pitched six innings in each of his first two starts, allowing eight hits, seven runs, and four walks in each start. I can't complain. He can't possibly pitch worse in his third start of the season.

Hmmm, Part II... Rule 5 pick Marcos Carvajal finished off the game with two decent enough innings. Most encouraging, beyond the obvious zero in the 'runs allowed' column, is that the live-armed 22 year old northpaw flung the white pill 27 times, only 10 of which were out of the strike zone. I'd say that at this rate, he's got a good shot to be 32 in ten years.

[cknox0723]

well, we have reached our first off day after seven straight ballgames. are there any lessons we can learn as we travel into the bronx?

no. it's only seven games, after all. but even if we lose the next three, we will finally, triumphantly head home -- for twelve divisional games, in the order of det, cle, kc, and min. so even if we are dead in the water, we won't know until the month's end.

seeing as we have this off-day, i considered skipping esteban loaiza's turn in the rotation and pitching jorge depaula for the forthcoming first game against the empire. however, what the hell's the point of that? why have loaiza in the rotation if you're just going to skip him over? in addition, following the normal rotation will allow mark buehrle to start our home opener. maybe it will convince jestor to make the trip from wisconsin. so loaiza, our nominal number three starter, will take on his new york counterpart in tyler clippard, a youngster whose virtues i've sung before. likely esteban will continue to practice "the art of suck", but maybe we'll be surprised.

there are also a few surprises early on in this universe. colorado holds the best record of all 30 teams with a 6-1 mark, spurred on by a .339 team batting average and the universe's leader in home runs with 5, left fielder brad hawpe. at 27 years old, the lanky 6'3" southpaw from fort worth is probably poised to see a major spike in his career high slugging percentage of .492, set last year in his sophomore season. but his true value will be found in the most fickle of fates, batting average. since hawpe is not too inclined to take a free pass, his value is limited if his .263 career batting average is indicative of his true talent level. since he is "only" hitting .333 at the moment despite those five home runs and that 1042 slugging percentage, i would guess that hawpe is, in fact, a .260 hitter. colorado will certainly hawpe that is not the case.

unbelievably, toronto has also turned in a nice start, winning their first two over tampa bay behind a bevy of runs batted in from vernon wells. the jays then lost a pair of close ones before heading back home...and winning three straight over the pitching-rich orioles. the center fielder wells has 17 rbi (11 in those first two games of the season), orlando hudson is hitting .387 with five doubles, and dave ****ing berg, who had a .276 on-base percentage in 400-some at-bats last season, is hitting .318.

of course it won't last. but roy halladay is a brilliant pitcher, definitely an ace, and why not ride the lightning while you can and worry about the apocalypse later?

[cknox0723]

Originally Posted by cknox0723

...the universe's leader in home runs with 5, left fielder brad hawpe. colorado will certainly hawpe that is not the case.

well, i thought it was funny.

this next post is free of terrible puns...so just smile and nod. and smile some more, for it's straight out of left field.

[cknox0723]

life has a way of kicking you when you're down -- to rub salt in the wound, maybe. but it's also a reminder that you're human, that you're alive.

we may be 1-6, but we're not dead in the water yet. it takes a phone call from the dodgers to remind us of that. what the hell could they possibly want from us?

scarborough mediocre, maybe, who still sports a tidy 7.94 earned run average despite going seven and getting the win in his second start down at charlotte? or could they want the new wild thing, ray butner, or perhaps relief ace joe roa, since they're in need of bullpen help?

nope. they want ryan sweeney, the pentultimate in toolsy outfielders. he's a 22 year old with that picturesque left-handed swing -- and on-base percentages of .264, .319, and .286 the last three years. in a-ball. a .308 batting average in his first 26 at-bats this year, 5 runs scored -- and 8 hits, all singles. 6 strikeouts and one walk. if this is a budding ken griffey -- hell, if this is a budding raul gonzalez! -- he is growing like a potato, underground, where i can't see the progress.

he is now nicknamed "potato", if you're curious.

they also want starting pitching prospect brandon mccarthy, a big right-hander who looks like a giraffe. but there is no such thing as a pitching prospect -- particularly one who is 23 years old and still in single-a. he may have 34 wins over three-plus years at that level, but he had a 6.08 earned run average in a short trial at double-a last year.

what the hell do they want with these guys? more importantly, why would they give us anything for them? let alone...well, you'll see. assuming this isn't all a dream.

[Vris]

Uh oh. Big trade coming up for the Pale Hose. Who, I ask you? Who?

[CTSoxFan]

Your driving me crazy with these cliffhangers lol. Who is coming to the Pale House?!?!

[cknox0723]

in my estimation, it is wise for a competing team to re-tool while they still have many pieces in place, and frank catalanotto does not fit in the los angeles outfield, therefore making a nice trade chit. offseason additions floyd and cameron, both former mets, are wonderful players, and they are joined by incumbents bernie williams and gabe "shanya punim" kapler. shawn green, a 30 home run man, is plugged in at first base, and mark grudzielanek can easily take over at second for f-cat without much dropoff.

or can he?

YEAR	AB	AVG	OBP	SLG	OPS
2004	537	.270	.339	.389	.728
2005	484	.298	.364	.419	.784
2006	516	.314	.373	.502	.875

that is mr. catalanotto. guess how many players on the pale hose had an .875 OPS last season?

the answer would be zero -- in any number of at-bats. f-cat did more offensively than dmitri young, raul gonzalez, magglio ordonez, and anyone else. in dodger stadium, a pitcher's haven. our home park turned raul gonzalez into an "element" that we could actually use in our lineup. if this guy can really bash baseballs at the clip he put up last year, imagine how much more bruised they'll be in the cozy confines of u.s cellular field.

in a pique of past brilliance, i nicknamed this gentleman "dressing", as in "catalanotto dressing" -- ever put the type of french dressing known as catalina on your salad? like that. it really ain't a bad nickname, if i do say so myself -- catalanotto is the guy you sprinkle all over your lineup if you need some OBP. he can cover the lettuce, at first base or left field. it won't be that delicious, fresh and crisp iceberg lettuce, but it won't be brown and wilting, either. he can envelope the tomato in the land of magglio, and it may be a little bruised, but no problem, even if i do like those hothouse tomatoes better. catalanotto can also ensconce -- ensconce -- the broccoli of second base. i like broccoli. i think i like adam kennedy better, but who the hell cares about that? this is a quality ballplayer who can play a bunch of different positions, though presumably not all at once.

and they want to give us this guy for two kids in a-ball? at 32, he is not over the hill, and while they're probably pushing the limits of their budget with an eighty-some million dollar payroll, is this really where you save three million bucks?

ah, to hell with it. act now, ask questions later.

welcome, frank. we don't deserve you. but maybe you can help change that.

[seth70liz76]

Quality ballplayer, excellent pick up: Either as a super utility or allowing you to move someone else for other parts you need. I think this is the start of something good.

[ifspuds]

I always liked Mr. Dressing, for just the reasons mentioned. Nice pick-up, Pale Hose!

[Y0DA55]

Nice Pickup! I thought you were in need of some sort of jump start. I think your battery has been dead this season and I hope that "Dressing" can be the salad tosser.

[cknox0723]

Originally Posted by seth70liz76

I think this is the start of something good.

Originally Posted by ifspuds

Nice pick-up, Pale Hose!

Originally Posted by Y0DA55

Nice Pickup! I thought you were in need of some sort of jump start.

agreed and agreed. thanks for the kind words, gentlemen. that is one of the nice things about this sort of format, you can, in some small way, share the excitement of someone else's brilliant move. i doubt this trade will actually turn out "brilliantly" -- i think last year was a career year for "mr. dressing", and he fell into our lap, anyway -- but i have a good feeling about it, at least. knowing that i am not the only one, and therefore not completely insane -- that helps.

by the way, if you've ever read anything like the following before venturing into the world of the pale hose, i applaud you. i certainly hadn't.

Originally Posted by Y0DA

I think your battery has been dead this season and I hope that "Dressing" can be the salad tosser.

but it is a damned shame that we don't read sentences like that more often. a damned shame.

and now, back to baseball. that little break was pretty worthwhile. let's hope the good times and the baseballs struck off our bats both keep on rollin'.

[rem]

holy crap, you're up early. I guess going to bed at a reasonable hour paid off.

[cknox0723]

game viii - chw (1-6) @ nyy (5-1) -

last year's eighth game was... a 7-2 loss @ det behind a typical start from schizo jorge

this year's eighth game might be... e. loaiza (0-1, 7.94) vs. t. clippard (1-0, 5.14)

After lengthy if not necessarily quality starts from Mark Buehrle and Jon Garland, we had a day off yesterday before commencing the final leg of our first long road trip of the year. If nothing else, the bullpen is fully rested and ready, so if we could somehow get an early lead, I think we'll have a good shot today.

And wouldn't you know, with one out in the first, Adam Kennedy takes a vicious cut at a poorly located oh-two pitch and hammers it over Hideki Matsui's head and off the right field fence. After that two-bagger, Magglio Ordonez drops the hammer on another ho-hum fastball, slicing a line drive to the left side and causing a fictional John Sterling to somewhere utter the sweetest of possible phrases..."past a lunging Jeter and into left field." Kennedy tears around third and toward home and weak-armed Randy Winn doesn't challenge him. There's our lead.

And wouldn't you know, after we make outs two and three in that frame, Esteban goes out and pitches a perfect bottom of the first. Yes, that Esteban. No, I don't know how. But who cares how?

The furthest we hit the ball in the top of the second is negative ten feet -- no, I'm not kidding. Jeremy Reed strikes out, taking some ridiculous swing at a fastball. Eric Munson hits a foul pop that some backstop named Lunsford snags near that wondrous screen behind home plate, and Yorvit "The Gremlin" Torrealba takes a called strike three after a decent enough eight-pitch at-bat. We may have hit the ball a negative distance, but it still didn't result in negative run-scoring. Go, team, go.

And Esteban has a few strikeouts of his own. Cleanup man Jason Giambi, leading off the Yankee half of the second, is not addled with steroids in this universe, so his thirty home run power is still there. However, he is subject to the brutal decaying that most all 36 year old first baseman go through, and that and an Esteban Loaiza fastball are enough to convince Giambi to sit down quickly. Funny -- I didn't know Esteban had a fastball in his arsenal.

Brian Giles hits a weak tapper to third baseman Munson, and Hideki Matsui swings and misses and swings and misses some more. The slider is a wonderful, wonderful pitch. We're still winning.

It's early, and it's Esteban. That winning feeling ain't gonna last.

[Vris]

Wasting my 1900 post right here, where it deserves to go.

Dressing certainly looks like a decent pickup, at first. He brings an added dimenstion to the club that is much needed.

But, he is 32. I know it's actually hard to consider this club "rebuilding", since you play few rookies, and more cheap free agents to plug holes. A 32 year old outfielder/semi-infielder just seems to be "walking a thin line". I don't know his entire contract situation (you alluded to it...3 mil is kinda cheap), but is he a long term answer? Or will he be donning yet another new uniform in 2008?

Believe me Craig, I hope Dressing works out. He seems to fit in with the style of ballplayers you got going on in Chi-Town. It just seems like an odd move. Not a bad move, by any means. Just odd. You gave up pennies for him, so it's not like he's a huge investment.

Who gets the boot off the 25 man roster?

[ifspuds]

Originally Posted by cknox0723

and causing a fictional John Sterling to somewhere utter the sweetest of possible phrases..."past a lunging Jeter and into left field."

Maybe it's because it's early here, or maybe it's because I spent most of my night trying to cajole my 5-month old to sleep over wailing sirens and drunken undergrads celebrating the end of finals, or maybe it's because I haven't had any coffee yet, but this made me laugh.

Or maybe it's because it was funny.

Regardless, thank you for the laugh, Craig.

[cknox0723]

hey, a couple-a nice replies!

Originally Posted by Vris

Wasting my 1900 post right here, where it deserves to go.

now, i have written lengthy posts on my sleep habits and ice cream. there is no such thing as a wasted post in the pale hose thread.

but damn straight it belongs here!

Originally Posted by Vris

Dressing certainly looks like a decent pickup, at first. He brings an added dimenstion to the club that is much needed.

But, he is 32. I know it's actually hard to consider this club "rebuilding", since you play few rookies, and more cheap free agents to plug holes. A 32 year old outfielder/semi-infielder just seems to be "walking a thin line".

this is an excellent point and one that did at least cross my mind. it is a similar situation to the scores of minor leaguers that can play both corner infield spots -- most of them can hit enough to play regularly at third, but they can't field the position. and they don't hit enough to be a regular first baseman. those guys are squeezed out, and that's a reasonable definition for most of the "quadruple-a" type players.

and to address your other point, yes, we are definitely rebuilding. of course i don't want to admit that, but it is the truth, even if the team is severely lacking in young talent. does a player like catalanotto really provide much help then, if we're going to lose anyway? well, even the worst of teams are pretty much guaranteed to win 40 or so games. with a few players -- buehrle, ordonez, roa -- we are a dozen, maybe more games above that replacement level. a player like catalanotto will move us ever closer to five hundred, and if a few other pieces fall into place -- chris scarborough wins rookie of the year next this year, we pick up a solid hitter or three -- who knows, maybe we can edge above .500? so for that reason, i say, yes, "mr. dressing" is definitely worth picking up.

Originally Posted by Vris

I don't know his entire contract situation (you alluded to it...3 mil is kinda cheap), but is he a long term answer? Or will he be donning yet another new uniform in 2008?

he is not a long term answer -- second basemen do not age well, and though his versatility is nice, this man is in the major leagues because he can hit quite a bit, not for his glove at any position. i cannot say with certainty that f-cat will be an above-average major league hitter in two years.

but his contract runs through this year and next, and he will definitely be in town for at least that long. his upside with the stick is far above most guys we usually give at-bats to.

Originally Posted by Vris

Believe me Craig, I hope Dressing works out. He seems to fit in with the style of ballplayers you got going on in Chi-Town. It just seems like an odd move. Not a bad move, by any means. Just odd. You gave up pennies for him, so it's not like he's a huge investment.

that last line, which i have bolded, was most important to me. it is an odd move, that i agree with. catalanotto does not fit snugly into a position of need, but he's a fine hitter, even if i don't think he will post an .875 OPS again.

Originally Posted by Vris

Who gets the boot off the 25 man roster?

this i will be able to answer in a bit. of course, "a bit" means a few days, but you'll see why soon enough.

Originally Posted by ifspuds

Maybe it's because it's early here, or maybe it's because I spent most of my night trying to cajole my 5-month old to sleep over wailing sirens and drunken undergrads celebrating the end of finals, or maybe it's because I haven't had any coffee yet, but this made me laugh.

Or maybe it's because it was funny.

Regardless, thank you for the laugh, Craig.

my pleasure. i have had the joy of hearing john sterling say those words far too many times, living in the tri-state area, and its comedic value is so high, especially since so many people don't realize how often it is that jeter doesn't reach those balls. i only wish i could have worked in "ruthlessly pricking the yankees' gonfalon bubble" into my amusing little phrase. now that would have been damned funny!

thank you both for the kind words.

this was quite a long reply, so consider this next post a little bonus, if you would. and what a little bonus it is!

[cknox0723]

Loaiza, at the bat in the third, starts the inning by taking two pitches wide, then getting a fat one and striking a weak bouncer toward the second base bag. Derek Jeter, as is his specialty, charges, fires to first while still on the run, and gets his man. I'm sure he pumps his fist, but it's all good. That play is a beauty to watch, regardless of which side of it we're on -- and thanks to my wondrous capabilities at creating nicknames, the final line of that part of the play-by-play read as follows:

"Good glovework by Gold Glover."

Damn right it was.

Ramon Vazquez apparently attacked an anthill while in the on-deck circle, and with red critters crawling up his uniform, he's in and out of the batter's box in a flash. I hope Adam Kennedy can keep the inning going just so Ramon can get to the trainer's room and keep his uniform hole-free.

"Nothing and one to Kennedy. The right-hander Clippard wipes his hand on his pant leg, paws his glove, nods and gets set. A step back, a little turn of the hips and here's the offer -- fastball, Kennedy's all over it and rips it -- fair, past Giambi and down the first base line! Matsui will dig around in the right field corner as Kennedy roars around first and will head into second as Matsui emerges from the haystack in right field and fires in a needle toward the infield. Kennedy makes the turn at second and -- he'll head back as Marcus Giles fires the ball across to Rodriguez on one hop. Second double of the day for Adam Kennedy and the Sox have life with two out in the third."

Somewhere, an itchy shortstop is clapping. And now we've got another man in scoring position for our man. I am supremely confident in the abilities of Magglio Ordonez, but having come up with a well-timed hit just two innings earlier, it'd perhaps be a bit much to expect him to do it again. After all, a .300 hitter fails 7 out of 10 times he comes to the plate, right?

"Clippard to the stretch and with...a quick kick of the legs, the oh-one is an offspeed pitch, up in the zone and it's a drive to dead center! That ball's got a chance...Giles on his horse...at the track, at the wall, but that ball just took a big hop off one of the old black center field bleachers in the House that Ruth Built! Magglio Ordonez, with one thunderous blow of the lumber, hits a two-run tater, his third of the year, and the White Sox are up three to nothing."

A .300 hitter may fail seven out of ten times, but Maggs was hitting .333 entering that at-bat, nine for twenty-seven. Oh, how I underestimate him. Never underestimate a man in harmony with his inner self.

So how does Esteban respond to this monumental lead?

SS Derek Jeter:
Base on balls.

C Trey Lunsford:
Base on balls.

Oh, mercy, Esteban, you're one poorly placed pitch away from blowing that nice lead. Please, please, please, just make it quick and painless.

[cknox0723]

But then the pitcher Clippard can't get a sacrifice down, and we move from men at first and second with no one out to men at first and second with one out. Up steps leadoff man Marcus Giles, who takes a fastball for a strike, then gets one of Loaiza's patented sweeping curveballs. Little Giles takes a big, winding cut, and hits the ball hard to the left side -- but Jeter's his teammate, so there's no lunging infielder for the ball to squirt past. Instead, Eric Munson handles it deftly enough, chucks it over to Adam Kennedy covering second, and that starts the most beautiful of plays, the 5-4-3 double play. Disaster? What disaster?

The last six innings are really irrelevant. With three innings like that, how could we possibly lose? That was not a sunrise -- that was an aurora.

[cknox0723]

Originally Posted by cknox

With three innings like that, how could we possibly lose?

Who the hell am I kidding? This is the Pale Hose we're talking about. Of course we can find a way to lose.

Originally Posted by cknox

The last six innings are really irrelevant.

Well, that's kind of a silly thing to say, isn't it? Perhaps the biggest load of bullsh*t since an Esteban Loaiza start.

And with a 3-0 lead, our bats go into a slumber in the fourth and fifth, Adam Kennedy's third double notwithstanding, but this strange Esteban guy allows the Yankees only a walk over those two frames. If you're keeping score at home, the home team still has a zero in the hits column entering the sixth inning. Randy Winn finally changes that with a two-out knock to right, but Alex Rodriguez slaps at a breaking ball, somehow beating it all the way out to Magglio Ordonez, who hauls it in easily, and we retain our three-run lead through six.

Southpaw Pedro Feliciano provides some relief for the young northpaw Clippard in the top of the seventh, and when Jason Giambi leads off the bottom of the frame with a sharp line into center field, it looks as though we're going to see the real Esteban soon enough. But two ground balls and an infield pop-up later, it's apparent that if this is a dream, there ain't much more time for the Yankees to wake up.

Pedro Feliciano, overextended in being asked to work a second frame, puts all sorts of guys on base for us to knock home, but only Jeffrey Hammonds can come through with a ribbie. Every run helps, but we could have put the game away there. Then someone named Lunsford singles to start the eighth -- shouldn't an Empire have a catcher with a more imposing name than Lunsford? -- but "IHNPPaaRPS, EOISTY" Sardinha whiffs and Marcus Giles hits into a rally-killer. This really is a dream, isn't it? Don't wake me.

Scot Shields brings the defeated attitude of his entire team out to the mound in the ninth and hands us three more runs, giving me enough comfort to send Loaiza out to try to finish this one off himself.

The result? Winn flies out to the warning track in left, Rodriguez hits a one-hopper to Munson at third, Giambi hits a ball that bounces three times before sticking in Ramon Vazquez's glove, and even as the ball's tossed across the infield to end the game, I'm still expecting someone on the Yankees to hit 57 home runs so we lose by 9. Instead, I get to watch a purple smiley face run back and forth. I feel like doing the same.



CHW 7 NYY 0

WP: E. Loaiza (1-1) - yes, that E. Loaiza threw a complete game three-hit shutout
LP: T. Clippard (1-1) - 6 IP, 6 H, 3 R

Game Ball Goes To... Do you give it to the man who single-handedly stifled the Empire, or the man who beat the hell out of them with 5 hits, 4 of which went for two bags at a time? Loaiza or Kennedy? It's a grand world when your toughest decision is not what pitcher to bring in, but whose back to pat. After this one, my arms are going to be awfully sore, but it's the good kind of sore.

[CTSoxFan]

LOAIZA!

What a game, goooo Esteban

[cknox0723]

Originally Posted by CTSoxFan

LOAIZA!

What a game, goooo Esteban

oh, man, i was screaming the same thing -- the same thing -- as that one wound down. particularly the ninth -- i expected him to at least give up a run or two, but i should have known better. it will make the next lousy start that much more painful, but that's ok. thanks for sharing my unbridled glee.

and here is an appropriate reply from a few days back, that i somehow missed:

Originally Posted by remangiii

holy crap, you're up early. I guess going to bed at a reasonable hour paid off.

heh. if only you knew, my friend, if only you knew.

glad to see you around here, rem.

[cknox0723]

frank catalanotto will not be joining the team until our first homestand. the delay supposedly stems from his deep-seated hatred of the steel drum...or maybe it's that his wife and three year old daughter were brought in by the department of homeland security. something about code orange on the national security alert...i don't know. whatever the case, fifth outfielder brian anderson will be happy. he'll get two more days of service time, which will probably add 46 cents or so to his pension, down the line. and, hey, with the inflation of salaries in baseball in the last 20 years, those 46 cents could be worth millions in 2035. millions, i tell you.

adam kennedy leads the free world, or at least the american league, in batting average, runs created per 27 outs, and on base plus slugging percentage. also doubles, of course. kennedy had more two-base hits in that last game than anyone else in the entire league has had in the first eight or nine games. well, except orlando hudson, who has 5 doubles in this young season, but don't worry about that. kennedy's start has been so brilliant that even if our second baseman doesn't get a single hit in his next 76 at-bats, he'll still be hitting .120. remind me of that in three weeks when kennedy's setting the friggin' clubhouse on fire in an effort to get the demons out of his bats.

brendan donnelly has had quite a good start to the season, pitching 10 innings in 6 appearances, allowing 4 hits and one walk and striking out 17 while obviously holding the opposition scoreless. he appeared in all three games in anaheim's season-opening sweep in texas, pitching five and two-thirds and fanning nine. however, this man has just 12 career saves, so it's obvious that joe roa would kick his ass in a rumble.

joe crede is ten for his first thirty with three doubles, four home runs, and nine runs batted in, second in the american league. perhaps the missouri native is simply more comfortable playing his home games at jacobs field. i hope beyond hope that saint charles native mark buehrle is not also part of that mold.

i briefly considered ending this thread once and for all after that last game. of course it was never entirely serious (seeing as i'm posting some twelve hours later), but that was about as perfect a game as you could possibly have, short of a 27-up, 27-down perfect game. can you really blame me for wanting to grab on to that and not let go? there will be a time in the future where those sort of games can become more than brief rays of sunlight amidst dark, dark clouds; that is, if my managerial skills are more than just reputation. but i want to get to that point, even if it means a thousand losses in the meantime.

speaking of that, i have absolutely no faith that we are on the verge of our first winning streak of the season. however, i had no faith in esteban, either, so who the hell knows?

[Vris]

Great win Craig! That's the confidence booster this club needs!

(or, you need..rather)

[The Funk]

For crying out loud! If I wanted to hear about a pathetic bunch of appaulingly mismanaged losers getting their asses handed to them on a silver platter every day I'd just re-read the first thread. Win some bloody games! (This would have been funnier if you'd lost to the Yankees. ****ing Loaiza, you can always trust him to screw you over.) Still, I suppose it wouldn't be the same +1 Hose we all love and ridicule if you actually suceeded.

[The Funk]

p.s. Hi. (+1)

[Vris]

Hey, who are you? Get out of this thread!