Oakland A's 2024 And Beyond Dynasty

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
2 June 2030
Hold the front page! A's take relievers in the draft! Unbelievable!
By Noah Way, big surprises correspondent

In a scarcely believable, Earth-shattering development, Oakland general manager Paulie Beane selected relief pitchers with his first and second choices in yesterday's amateur player draft. Picking 30th in round one, as always, meant the viable batting talent had gone, as always, by the time it came to Oakland's turn. As it happens though, having traded away a number of young relief arms during the offseason, Beane says he was actively pursuing bullpen candidates anyhow. And, not as always, he wasn't disappointed.

Lying in wait for the A's at the end of round one was lefty Frank Sargent, a 20-year-old out of Imaginary College. If A's pitching coach Ace Onballs is to be believed, Sargent has the potential to be talked about in the same breath as Mariano Rivera. Quite why other teams insisted on picking batters in the first round with a pitcher of this quality available is unclear, but that's the Computer AI software they use for you. Onballs rates him four stars and major league-ready already, and his arrival reportedly has Beane considering sensationally trading away closer Roy Ellis, who has struggled this year with a 4.60 ERA and is rumoured to want $10m or more to stay at the club and avoid free agency.

Oakland's second pick was Japanese righty reliever Kenji Takahashi, a 21-year-old righty from somewhere or other. Teams seemed to afraid to choose him because of a fragile injury reputation, but Beane liked the look of him and in all honesty was left with no option; it was him or some dross. Onballs also rates him four stars but, oddly, says he's not ready for the majors yet.

Paulie Beane said he couldn't remember who else they'd selected in the draft, but said he was totally confident they'd be totally useless, and not worth occupying several of his strictly limited number of brain cells by remembering their names.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
11 June 2030
Dickson signs $100m contract extension as Beane's budget manoeuvring continues
By Chachi Ng, stratospheric salaries correspondent

Oakland's fans were celebrating today after the club announced that ace pitcher and rotation leader Karl Dickson had signed a humongous new contract to remain at the Coliseum and avoid reaching free agency at the end of the season. The 28-year-old Dickson has signed a 5-year deal worth $20m per year, which will see him pitch for the A's until the end of 2035. General manager Paulie Beane reportedly feels that Dickson's injury reputation as an "iron man" means that he has a high chance of staying healthy and continuing to pitch at a high level throughout the duration of the deal, at the end of which he'll be 33. Beane acknowledged that some fans would be legitimately concerned that a small market club should pay over 30% of its entire payroll budget on just Dickson and infielder Alejandro Gusman. But he said bluntly, "This is ultimately my decision, no one else's, so there. If these boys perform for us as I think they will, I'll be considered a genius for signing these perennial all-stars up. Obviously, yes, if they come down with long-term injuries and we get saddled with hefty, useless contracts, I'll be deemed a cavalier cretin. Such is the role of a GM to make these tough calls. It greatly helps that I exist in a parallel imaginary universe so don't come under any actual media or fan pressure".

The Dickson deal marks the latest step on Beane's journey to financial affordability in 2031. Shortstop Juan Jimenez, in good form this year, has already been persuaded to sign on for two more years at $4m per year, a remarkable 60% cut on his current salary. And last week left fielder William Morris penned a cut-price looking 4-year contract at $5m per year, buying out his arbitration years and first year of free agency. These cheaper-than-expected deals give Beane a little more budgetary flexibility than envisaged, and he has allegedly now moved on to negotiating with designated hitter Dennis Hawkins on his extension, which is likely to be at or near $15m. However, retaining Dickson on his bumper contract makes it look increasingly likely that the A's will not be able to afford for Lucio Vargas to stay beyond this season, the only real question now being whether Beane seeks to trade him before the deadline for something in return, or keep him solely for the pennant race this season before losing him to free agency.

Today's announcement had been widely predicted on social media by people with nothing better to do, after Dickson was seen in downtown Oakland yesterday literally laughing all the way to the bank and crying "I'm rich! I'm rich! So much money for throwing a ball! I'm rich! I'm rich!". He did not appear interested in engaging in a philosophical discussion about how these vast sums are only available to the top superstars of the game like him, because they come at the expense, quite literally, of the many more journeymen professional players required for the whole baseball structure to work, who have their earnings hugely suppressed, some would say very unfairly, by baseball's collective bargaining agreement. "My job entails throwing a baseball", he explained. "My head is not therefore in the habit of thinking about issues of anything like such complexity".

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
24 June 2030
A's stretch lead in AL West but Beane acts to tackle simmering bullpen problems
By Tom N. E. Walks, bases on balls correspondent

Despite their inconsistent form over the last couple of weeks, the Oakland A's have increased their lead in the American League West division to 7 games as chasers Houston have faltered badly. The A's are a very respectable 43-27, but their mediocre run means they no longer sport the best record in the AL.

General manager Paulie Beane is becoming increasingly worried about his pitching. It's the same old story on the face of it: Oakland's pitching is the best in the majors this season, with an exceptional overall team ERA of 2.81. That's over a run better than any other team in MLB. But the bullpen, which started the season well, has gone badly downhill. Closer Roy Ellis's travails have been documented, but really only lefties Gonzalo Avila and Jose Duran have performed with anything even in the same postcode as consistency. While the team has kept winning, Beane has given the soldiers in the relief corps time to turn things round, but he now appears to have run out of patience, a commodity he is not exactly blessed with an abundance of at the best of times, and decided to act. Melvi Salazar and Tsurayuki Hashimoto, who have reasonable ERAs but FIPs so horrible that you shouldn't look directly at them, have been demoted to the minors. Nathan Boyd and recent draft pick Kenji Takahashi have been promoted to the active roster for the first time in their place. Salazar has probably played his last game for the A's. The age-old conundrum, is he actually any good or not, has seemingly now been answered: he's not.

Beane is reportedly also unhappy with field manager Phil D'Manager's use of his relievers during recent weeks. The pair have an interesting relationship, which is probably best described as "only occasionally functional". They are usually quick to point the finger at one another when the team is struggling, but tensions have generally been kept firmly beneath the surface while the team has been regularly winning in recent seasons. A hint of struggle, and the undercurrent arguments between the pair flare up again. Beane will be closely watching D'Manager's approach to putting newbies Boyd and Takahashi into games, and there could be fireworks if he's unimpressed.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
1 July 2030
Holland returns to A's on surprise deal to end of the season as outfield injuries challenge squad depth
By Nev Ergoback, unsuccessful second stints correspondent

Veteran outfielder Eddie Holland has rejoined the Oakland A's on a short term deal to the end of the season. The 32-year-old has signed a contract rumoured to be worth approximately $1m on an annualised basis. Holland is very popular with A's fans, having previously had a highly successful 4-year spell with at the club during the famous "four-peat" run of world titles. He himself collected World Series rings in 2024, 2025 and 2026, before being traded by GM Paulie Beane to Tampa Bay. He became a free agent at the end of last season but remained unsigned, until Beane moved to give him a route back into the pro game.

The unexpected move is said to have been arranged with extraordinary speed. Negotiations started late yesterday after the news came through that left fielder Corey Hodges had strained his hamstring during last night's 5-3 win over the LA Angels and was diagnosed by physio Walter Proofplasters as requiring six weeks of recovery time. Coupled with Dennis Hawkins being ruled out for three weeks only a few days ago, suddenly the A's found themselves with just three outfielders on the roster, William Morris, Juan Torres and Javier Cruz, and only Torres able to play the crucial centre field position. Oakland's hitting coach Noah Hitter says outfield prospects Rob Dyment and Pepe Rios are not yet ready for the show, prompting Beane into a panicky approach to his old friend Holland.

Holland takes his place on a team which has now reached 48-28, and, at least at the moment, is in control of the American League West, holding an eight game lead over the Texas Rangers. It is also a team which has suddenly realised that veteran depth is a concept that should not be overlooked.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
11 July 2030
Dundee's devilish display extends A's winning run to eleven
By A. Swinning-Again, same old same old correspondent

Oakland starter Brad Dundee's first career shutout yesterday was a thing of beauty. He allowed no walks and just two hits, taking just 88 pitches to retire all 27 Cleveland batters, as he led the A's to a narrow 1-0 win. Oakland's only run came on centre fielder Juan Torres's two-out double in the 5th inning, but with Dundee in such peerless form, that was all the offense the team needed. It is Oakland's eleventh straight victory in what is turning into a superb title defense by Paulie Beane's boys. With their American League West rivals all hitting shaky patches, that run has catapulted the A's into a commanding 14 game lead over their closest challengers, and the term "challengers" is frankly putting it generously, Texas. There may be nearly half the season still to go, but it will take a fantastic effort from one of the other four teams to prevent the A's winning a fourth division pennant in five years.

The news got better for Oakland fans, and worse for supporters of competitive balance in sport, as it also emerged yesterday that all-star outfielder Dennis Hawkins has signed a new 3-year, $15.5m per annum contract to stay with the club. The team's current winning streak is all the more impressive, since Hawkins, who has a .343 OBP and .797 OPS so far this year, has spent that time on the disabled list.

The Hawkins deal seemingly makes certain that superstar pitcher Lucio Vargas will not be affordable to Oakland next year. But will Beane trade Vargas in the next couple of weeks, or keep him for the season to support their bid to retain the World Series? Making the latter look more likely than a couple of months ago is that Vargas has been in simply stunning form. With his 9-2 record and stingy 2.09 ERA, he is having a Cy Young year and is surely about to earn his ninth all-star call-up. Beane's tactic of flipping veterans on expiring contracts for promising, younger, minimum salary players is fair enough; when that player is a future Hall of Famer who is leading the league in pitching, it may not be quite such a clever idea.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
15 July 2030
Oakland place five pitchers on American League all-star roster
By Ché N'Jupp, pitching correspondent

No one except the most ardent Giants fan would argue that the A's don't have the best pitching in baseball. Not only are they leading the entire MLB in most pitching stats so far this season, but they have also now had no fewer than five hurlers selected for the American League all-star team. The A's headline acts, rotation leaders Karl Dickson and Lucio Vargas, have unsurprisingly received their ninth and fourth selections respectively.

Closer Roy Ellis must know some salacious gossip about, or be sleeping with, someone in the MLB organisation. For how else can you explain him inexplicably receiving his second call-up, despite his decidedly average season so far? The first appearances of starter Brad Dundee and reliever Gonzalo Avila are, however, much more deserved. In addition, Oakland got in on the act on offense also, with outfielder William Morris earning his first career all-star call-up. Morris has been in awesome form since signing his long-term contract extension one month ago, for a $5m per year rate which is increasingly starting to look like an audacious swindle against a financially naive player by the A's front office team. This newspaper dislikes players' agents as much as the next man, but, we have to say, that boy needs to get himself a better one before the next time he discusses a contract extension.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
16 July 2030
Beane embarks on another trademark trading frenzy as Ellis, Reetz, Salazar and Hashimoto depart, and youngsters Perez and Pelletier arrive
By Tom Bola, lucky dip correspondent

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls! Welcome to the Oakland A's Veteran-Trading Lucky Dip Tombola! This is the 2030 edition of what seems to be becoming a nearly annual event prior to the deadline, where general managers have the chance to trade away several established, productive players on expiring or over-expensive contracts, in exchange for taking a punt at winning the prize of a young superstar on minimum salary and under club control for a few years.

This is a glittering and prestigious occasion as you're all aware. So. Are you ready, everyone? Okay, eyes down, here goes. Our first contestant is... Drumroll please..... Ah, yes, A's GM Paulie Beane. Step right up, sir. A regular player, here, everybody. Give the tombola a big spin, Mr Beane. That's right. You've done this before, I see! Well, you've decided to trade away your starting catcher Jakson Reetz, your minor league reliever Tsurayuki Hashimoto and forgotten minor league infielder Rich Weaver. Let's see what youngster you've got in return. Reach right in there and pull out a ticket. Let's see who you've got.... It's Cincinnati Reds outfield prospect Jean-Francois Pelletier! Many congratulations, Mr Beane!

And our next contestant please! Ah, it's Mr Beane again! Fancy our chances, do we? Off you go then, sir, pull out a ticket. You're trading away your closer Roy Ellis, your failed veteran reliever Melvi Salazar, and their expiring contracts. Let's see who you're getting in return... Okay, that's enough of the drumroll, thanks... Ooh, not bad, not bad! You've won a double-header package from Kansas City! Yes, you've got rookie hot prospect starting pitcher Antonio Perez and promising minor league catcher Chun-mei Leong.

That's how Beane's approach feels like to the Telegraph. It's possibly irrational to criticise Beane's scheming given the success of his similar trading this time a year ago, which saw Luis Trujillo arrive and the A's kick on and ultimately win the World Series. But if there's one thing this newspaper is talented at, it's irrationality. So we think that Beane has essentially traded five experienced, able players for three high ceiling but totally unproven youngsters.

Miguel Rojas will take over from Reetz as starting catcher, with Miguel Mason stepping up from the minors as backup. Ellis's spot on the roster goes to mega prospect Frank Sargent, with Gonzalo Avila taking the closer role. All three new arrivals will, barring an injury crisis, spend the rest of this season on Oakland's minor league roster. The most interesting aspect of Beane's trading was that ace Lucio Vargas was not involved. Club sources say that, despite Vargas's expiring contract, Beane could not find a replacement young pitcher good enough to justify losing Vargas and his league-leading 1.99 ERA from their playoff push. Perez will almost certainly replace Vargas in the rotation next season. The 20-year-old righty was the ninth overall draft pick in 2027 and was listed as BNN's #10 prospect at the start of this season. He has struggled in 17 starts for the Royals this year, but will be in the A's rotation in 2031. Pelletier is viewed as the long-term successor to Juan Torres at centre field. The 21-year-old was also drafted in 2027 and has elite speed and excellent defense. His hitting is still developing but he is BNN's #50 prospect. Leong was the #79 BNN prospect.

Over the next couple of years we'll see if Beane has hit the jackpot with these youthful arrivals, or picked up some booby prizes.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
1 August 2030
Awards for Morris and Dundee as Oakland complete fabulous 22-4 month in July
By Red Hotbaseball, in-form teams correspondent

It's almost unfair. They're already the world champions. Now they are once again by far the hottest team in Major League Baseball. Despite losing 3-2 to the Los Angeles Dodgers in yesterday's game, the Oakland A's closed out a sensational month of July where they went 22-4 overall, which included separate winning streaks of eleven games and nine games. That represents the best monthly performance during Paulie Beane's fifteen year stewardship of the club, surpassing the previous best month of 20-4 in July of 2028. The run has moved the A's to 70-32, which puts them on pace to set a new club record wins tally. The American League West title looks all but assured, with them now holding a scarcely believable 18-game lead over the rest. They have 8 wins more than any other team in the whole of the major leagues.

Unsurprisingly, A's players cleaned up in the monthly awards for July. Left fielder William Morris celebrated his increasingly crazily cheap long-term deal by winning AL batter of the month. He hit .337 with 9 home runs and 29 RBIs. And Brad Dundee was virtually unhittable, winning AL pitcher of the month after going 5-0 with a 0.42 ERA from 43 innings.

A spokesman for the other 29 clubs said, "Could Oakland please give the rest of us a chance? Baseball is supposed to be a game of fine margins, but we're getting battered at the moment. It would help hugely maintain competitive balance if us MLB Managers had the waiver and rule 5 draft arrangements that are in operation in less imaginary universes, as this would prevent Oakland from recruiting and hoarding quite so much young talent. Not that this is a case of sour grapes of course. Our concern is solely, yes solely, for the integrity and competitiveness of the sport, and nothing whatsoever with us simply being totally jealous of Paulie Beane's success in recent years, and that we would sell our own mothers without a second thought for the opportunity to swap places with them".

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
5 August 2030
Player in focus: Dennis Hawkins
Last month, star batter Dennis Hawkins signed a lucrative new 3-year contract to stay with the Oakland A's organisation through to the end of the 2033 season. Our resident column filler, Lou Kingatyoukid, who by an extraordinary chance also just happens to be the niece of editor Eddie Tor, gives us the lowdown on the expert hitter.

Role
Claims to be an outfielder, but has the slight limitation in that role in that he isn't very good at fielding. Plays designated hitter against righty pitchers, batting number one or two in the lineup.

Nickname
None. This is a serious man, right here.

Career history
A hyper-talented junior, Hawkins was drafted straight out of high school by San Francisco as the fifth overall pick of the 2020 draft. The lefty developed only slowly in the Giants' minor league roster, finally making his major league debut in late 2024. Oakland GM Paulie Beane came knocking after the 2025 season. Fresh from winning the third of their four straight World Series titles, Beane was looking to shed payroll and bring in young talent. San Francisco agreed to take all-star starting pitcher Denny Miller and catcher Luis Torrens in exchange for Hawkins. He's been a regular in the Oakland lineup over the subsequent four and a half seasons as designated hitter, although his woeful hitting against lefties has meant Beane has usually only started him in about 140 or so games each year. One of the A's most popular players, to date he has a career 126 OPS+ and .870 OPS, and is a three-time all-star.

Career highlights
2 World Series rings (Oakland 2026, Oakland 2029)
3 AL Championship pennants (Oakland 2026, Oakland 2028, Oakland 2029)
2 NL West pennants (San Francisco 2024, San Francisco 2025)
3 AL West pennants (Oakland 2026, Oakland 2028, Oakland 2029)
3 all-star selections (2027, 2028, 2029)

Hobbies
Jumping traffic lights, returning library books a week late on purpose.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
22 August 2030
Win against Texas secures Oakland yet another winning season
By Anne Otherone, old news correspondent

Oakland's comfortable 8-6 victory over Texas last night clinched their ninth straight winning season as they reached 82 wins. The A's are at 82-39, and have stretched their lead further at the head of the American League West division. The usually hapless LA Angels are the nearest competitor at 60-60, a mere 21.5 games adrift. Anyone wanting to find an exciting playoff race should look elsewhere.

General manager Paulie Beane said he was delighted with his young team's displays this season, noting that incredibly he hasn't battered a single office chair into submission all season long. He said he continues to adopt a much calmer approach to his GM role, but felt that this was easy to achieve when his team keeps winning so many games. The real test of his more relaxed attitude will come when the team hit more challenging times.

Beane also confirmed that young reliever Porter Hawkins, who has struggled with a 8.20 ERA from 20 appearances, has been sent down to the minors to rebuild his confidence. Carl Bates has returned to the active roster to take Hawkins's place in the bullpen, but will still be competing for a starting rotation spot next season.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
23 August 2030
Stats Amazing: Oakland team ERA
Our in-house sabermetrician, Joe Nahill, wastes his time and ours looking at the A's overall pitching ERA during the course of the Dynastic Era of baseball. We are unclear why he's done this.

During the course of the Paulie Beane period of Oakland's history, much has been made about how consistently strong their pitching has been. In part, this is due to pitching being one of Beane's priorities for spending the limited payroll budget that he does have, but is also aided and abetted by the other teams who seem to make a virtue of selecting batters with their first round draft picks, leaving talented pitchers the best players still on the board even when the A's have picked 30th or so. Oakland's strong pitching, and consistently so year after year, has been touted in this newspaper as much as elsewhere, but how does that stack up? Given the quality of our journalism, a reader should certainly not simply believe something just because it is printed in these pages.

As it turns out, it can be fairly simply demonstrated. This newspaper does not go in for anything which remotely approaches being a detailed investigative study, so we'll just take a simple measure and look at earned run averages. Across the fifteen and a half seasons of the Dynastic Era to date, the major league's overall ERA has been about 4.50-4.70. I've not been organised enough to keep the stats on that, so you'll just have to take my word for it (although you shouldn't, as I've said!). So how has Oakland's ERA compared?

Well, since 2022, the year the A's embarked on this run of eight, and surely soon to be nine, consecutive years of postseason appearances, the annual team ERA has been superb. The highest annual ERA during that period is 3.69, and the team's ERA has been consistently a run or more better than the league average. Those Oakland team ERAs in full:

2015 - 3.69
2016 - 4.33
2017 - 3.85
2018 - 4.17
2019 - 4.63
2020 - 3.55
2021 - 3.99
2022 - 3.46
2023 - 3.37
2024 - 3.53
2025 - 3.47
2026 - 3.51
2027 - 3.69
2028 - 3.43
2029 - 3.55
2030 - 2.80 (to date)

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
9 September 2030
DIVISION CHAMPS AGAIN! Dickson's shutout seals American League West division title, ninth successive postseason berth for defending world champions
By Una Stoppable, divisional pennants correspondent

It was perhaps only fitting that, in a year where Oakland's pitching has been so strong, a standout performance from the team's ace hurler should earn the win last night which secured the AL West pennant. Karl Dickson went the full nine innings, giving up just 4 hits and 1 walk as the A's autopiloted to a routine 6-0 win over Seattle. The A's stand at 96-41, with a slender 27.5 game lead over closest rivals the 68-68 LA Angels. Their record is 11.5 games better than the next best in the entire MLB, by the New York Yankees (boo, hiss). It is GM Paulie Beane's seventh divisional title, six of which have come in the last nine years.

At times in yesterday's game it was like Dickson was an over-competitive dad pitching to his children; he was miles too good for them but nonetheless he wasn't going to ease up or give them even the slightest chance. And the A's batting lineup were barely less charitable to their former colleague Jon Dixon, who lined up on the mound for the Mariners. They exposed why Beane opted to shift Dixon out prior to this season, as they smacked him for 10 hits and 3 walks from 7 innings of work. Dixon and the Mariners' bullpen will be absolutely kicking themselves that they allowed struggling designated "hitter" - although perhaps designated misser is usually a more factually accurate descriptor - Toyokazu Watanabe to go 3-4 during the game. That's simply careless.

It has been a fantastic season for Oakland and it's not like they've been lucky. In fact, they're behind their 99-38 Pythagorean record. Beane told reporters that he will not be easing up or resting players down the stretch. His policy of seeking to achieve the best regular season record possible, and having as many players as possible in the groove and in form when the playoffs start, by always playing his strongest fully fit team has proved successful in the past, cheers very much, and he sees no reason to change it now. "Besides", he said, "these guys are paid millions of dollars to play baseball not watch baseball. Generally people pay, not get paid, to watch this game". He said he feels the benefit of having a team performing well entering the postseason outweigh the risk of injuries impacting his postseason roster.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
23 September 2030
Dundee earns win number 20 as A's enter final fortnight chasing franchise-best record
By Homer Straight, final few games of the season correspondent

Paulie Beane was in relaxed mood at his post-match press conference last night, as well he might be with his Oakland A's team entering the usually tense final fortnight of the season with 105 wins and a postseason berth already in the bag. Some might say that turning up for the press conference in shorts, sandals and shades, clutching a cocktail and puffing on a Cuban cigar, was a little too relaxed.

Beane was keen to wax lyrical about his pitching rotation, which has been sensational all year. Number three starter Brad Dundee led the team well in last night's 9-5 win over Texas, going 7.1 innings for 3 runs and getting his league-leading 20th win in the process. Beane also expressed his delight that in Karl Dickson (2.05), Dundee (2.36), Lucio Vargas (2.45) and Ramon Mendoza (2.53), remarkably the A's have four of the best five earned run averages of all MLB starting pitchers. Nathan Hamilton's 3.38 mark is hardly shoddy and is ninth in the American League, but good enough to only make him the fifth starter in this exceptional quintet of quality. Dundee, Mendoza and Dickson are all under contract for at least the next three seasons, so the team's rotation looks set to continue being very strong over the coming years.

The expansiveness of Beane's comments seemed to grow through the course of his media appearance in direct proportion to the quantity of the cocktail he consumed. As did the frequency of slurring of his words. He gave special mention to left fielder William Morris, designated hitter Dennis Hawkins and first baseman Luis Tuijillo for their contribution to the team's offensive production; the three all have wOBA marks over .360. Before long the increasingly tired and emotional GM seemed to be generally dishing out dollops of praise to all and sundry, and when he thanked the 54-96 Pittsburgh Pirates "for their commitment to giving some truly awful, awful players the chance to get some games at major league level", Oakland's press officer swiftly intervened to call an end to the press conference. Sources inside the A's organisation, who wished to remain anonymous, said that Beane was very late arriving at work this morning and seemed to have a nasty headache.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
6 October 2030
Disaster for A's as Dundee ruled out until 2032 season with torn rotator cuff
By O. M. Gee, news which is terrible in the context of only being about sport correspondent

Jaws dropped all round the Oakland organisation as the news spread. Chins scraped on the floor. Tumbleweed blew across offices populated by stunned, statue-like members of staff. On the penultimate day of what, up to this point, had been a uniformly fantastic season, things suddenly took a turn for the worse for Oakland after starting pitcher Brad Dundee suffered a horrendous injury.

With his turn in the rotation due up, Dundee took to the mound in yesterday's penultimate regular season game against Seattle. He looked in fine form as usual, throwing 6 innings for 1 run in what would end up being his 22nd win of the season, a mark that will be the best in the MLB this year, ties the Oakland franchise record (living legend Jose Fernandez also earned 22 wins in 2022), and is just one shy of the all-time Dynastic Era record of 23 wins set by Lucio Vargas during the 2025 season when he was with previous club Philadelphia. However, Dundee's and Oakland's day ended in awful fashion when he hurt himself throwing a pitch at the start of the 7th inning and came out of the game. Oakland's club doctor Walter Proofplasters diagnosed a torn rotator cuff, whatever that is, and said he expects Dundee to be out for 13 months, meaning Dundee will miss not just the upcoming postseason, but also the whole of the 2031 season.

Dundee, who has a career 67-25 record and 3.31 ERA, is still relatively young. He does not turn 28 until next May. But at this point in time there must also be considerable uncertainty over whether he can return to his current performance levels when he does next pitch for the A's at the start of the 2032 season. General manager Paulie Beane's policy of continuing to play all his starters after postseason qualification has been secured will surely now come under some scrutiny. Approached by reporters as the news broke, a teary Beane was clearly still coming to terms with the news and refused to comment. Insiders say Beane was forced to place an emergency order for a new iPad, as it seems his previous one was involved in an unexpected incident involving a drill.

With the final regular season game taking place later today, and Nathan Hamilton due to take the mound, the 112-49 A's did not make an immediate replacement for Dundee on the active roster. Karl Dickson, Vargas and Ramon Mendoza will now comprise the three-man rotation which Beane will probably use for the postseason campaign.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
7 October 2030
Dundee injury overshadows conclusion of best regular season campaign in Oakland franchise history
By Finn Ished-Theseason, regular season conclusion correspondent

Still reeling from the shock news of the long-term injury to starting pitcher Brad Dundee, a subdued Oakland side tamely lost 3-1 to the Seattle Mariners last night in the final game of the 2030 regular season. But that defeat brought the curtain down on what, by any standards, has been a superb year for the A's. Their 112-50 record is the best in Oakland history, and has been bettered only once by any team in the entire 16 years of the Dynastic Era, when Minnesota smashed their way to 115 victories in 2022. The A's amazing performance on defense can be summed up by the stats that they conceded just 518 runs at a team ERA of 2.83; both these marks surpassed by some distance the previous franchise bests of 615 runs allowed in 2025 and a 3.37 ERA in 2023.

The A's have to pick themselves up quickly, because the postseason is upon us and, as usual, they're in it. In the divisional series they will play the winner of the wildcard game of chance, between Tampa Bay and Cleveland. Should they make it through that, their most likely opponent in the championship series would be the ominous baddies the New York Yankees, who finished on an eight-game winning streak to reach exactly 100 wins.

Leading the rotation in the A's postseason challenge will of course be Karl Dickson, who finished the season with a sensational ERA of 2.14. That's the best mark of the Dynastic Era of baseball, beating the previous best of 2.18 set by his colleague Lucio Vargas in Philadelphia in 2025. Vargas told reporters in his usual chatty fashion, "Obviously, it goes without saying, you know, that I'm delighted for Karl, thrilled in fact, that he beat my ERA record, so to speak, well, of course, I'm somewhat disappointed in a way to no longer hold that, well not disappointed so much, perhaps more sad, but records are there to be broken, as they say, and it couldn't have been a nicer or more dedicated guy that did it, a great pitcher, a man of few words, certainly compared to me, but a dynamo on the mound, and...", at which point most of the reporters were stuffing their own socks in their ears to try and drown out such banal dribble.

So we're once again into the crapshoot. Time to fasten our seatbelts and hold on tight.

The final playoff picture is as follows.

American League
AL East winners: NY Yankees (100-62) (hiss!)
AL Central winners: Detroit (94-68)
AL West winners: Oakland (112-50)
Wildcards: Tampa Bay (92-70), Cleveland (85-77)

National League
NL East winners: NY Mets (97-65)
NL Central winners: St. Louis (94-68)
NL West winners: Colorado (94-68)
Wildcards: San Francisco (90-72), San Diego (89-73)

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
15 October 2030
A's edge past Ray's in division series, will face Detroit next
By Honor Roll, momentum correspondent

The Oakland A's are through to yet another American League championship series, their eighth in the last nine years, after triumphing 3-1 in a closely-fought division series against the Tampa Bay Rays. The A's will meet the Detroit Tigers, who, much to everyone's amusement and delight, totally dismantled the New York Yankees in their divisional series, winning 3-0 and outscoring the pinstriped baddies 23-10 in the process.

The series started poorly for the A's. In the opener, Karl Dickson was popped for two runs in the top of the 1st, and they couldn't recover, going down 4-2. Lucio Vargas was, largely thanks to Luis Trujillo's grand slam, effectively given a 5-run head start in the next game, but had a poor day and allowed the Rays to level the scores at 5-5 in the 7th. But Oakland nicked it in the bottom of the 9th when former A's reliever Jose Ceguera apparently forgot where the strike zone is located, walking three batters including William Morris to walk in the winning run. Game three was the decisive one. Lefty Ramon Mendoza was excellent on the mound, but Oakland's lineup didn't show up, getting only two hits all day, from Trujillo and shortstop Juan Jimenez. Fortunately, however, both those hits were home runs, and the A's sneaked it 2-1. GM Paulie Beane then opted to start with fresh starting pitcher Nathan Hamilton in the next game, saving Dickson for a possible game five. That proved a good decision as Hamilton was superb. A mostly tense game was eventually won at a canter when Oakland smashed the Rays' bullpen for 8 runs in the top of the ninth.

So as surely as night follows day, the A's roll through a postseason series and are competing again for the American League championship trophy. Dare we suggest that this is all starting to get a bit boring?

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
22 October 2030
Disappointing Oakland crash out as Detroit claim American League championship title
By Sue Nearandyetsofar, final hurdle correspondent

In an article a week ago, this newspaper implied that the A's run of success over the last decade may have been getting a little boring. Oakland GM Paulie Beane was deeply unhappy with this viewpoint, which he considered pretty much heresy from a Bay Area publication, and let us know his stance on the issue in no uncertain terms. His rant down the phone to our editor, where an impressive 75% of the words he used were unprintable expletives, is by far the most viewed item on our website. Given that it is the only item that isn't advertising on our dreadful website, which is, ahem, somewhat lacking in investment, this is perhaps unsurprising. In light of Oakland's crushing 4-1 defeat to Detroit in the American League championship series, we now recognise that Beane was right, winning isn't boring.

Beane was in a foul mood in his post-match press conference last night, his efforts to control his emotions and take a more balanced approach to his role apparently forgotten in the fallout from a painful postseason defeat. "Some of our key players just didn't sodding turn up", he bemoaned. "Not wishing to single anyone out, but this postseason Karl Dickson has an ERA of 4.56 and Lucio Vargas 4.61. William Morris is batting .152. Okay, that can happen in a short postseason, but it is very frustrating".

Truth be told, Oakland were unlucky against Detroit. They actually out-scored the Tigers across the five games, but came out on the losing side in all three 1-run games in the series. The first of those 1-run games was in the series opener, where Karl Dickson was again hit early on and the offense couldn't pull back the deficit. Detroit then won the next two games to take a 3-0 lead and put the A's in a hole. Nathan Hamilton had another fine day on the mound in game four, as the A's gave themselves a glimmer of hope with a stunning 9-0 win. But it wasn't to be this year, as, despite taking a 4-1 lead in the top of the 7th in game five, the Tigers reeled them in, winning 5-4.

So Beane and Oakland return home to lick their wounds, while Detroit advance to face St. Louis in the World Series. Both teams are making their first appearance in the fall classic since the Dynastic Era began in 2015.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
29 October 2030
So near and yet so far for Beane, while Detroit win the World Series
By Dee Troy Tigers, Michigan correspondent

Paulie Beane was in a downbeat mood yesterday as he reflected on what might have been. In many ways, it had been a highly successful season. 112 wins, one of the all-time great pitching corps, great defense. They definitely were the best team in baseball this year, even if the World Series crown eluded them. But the year had ended on sour notes. First there was Brad Dundee's nasty injury which will rule him out for the whole of next season. And then there was the disappointing loss to ultimate world champions Detroit.

"Dundee's injury means our payroll budget for 2031 is effectively cut by his $9m salary, to $141m", said Beane, pointing out the blindingly obvious. "Losing him, coupled with Vargas's departure, leaves a huge hole in our rotation. My offseason plans will need revisiting somewhat". One of those plans which may be revisited, it seems, is his alleged intention to trade away starter Nathan Hamilton. This appeared to be on the cards according to a leaked internal memorandum written by one of the A's front office staff. A club spokesman said, however: "We have a policy of not commenting on what purports to be a leaked document, particularly if it is genuine. I can confirm though that we are in fact now negotiating a contract extension with Mr Hamilton".

So the offseason is less than 24 hours old and already the roster move machinations have started. That's another season in the books. Can the A's challenge again and make it a tenth consecutive year reaching the playoffs? There's only one way to find out.

Stop press: our smug and irritating effusive praise correspondent Bette Erthanmostteams has asked the editor to print the following statement. "I have asked the editor to include the following short statement about my 2030 pre-season prediction. I predicted Oakland would make the playoffs but not win the World Series. I was correct. I appreciate that this is not exactly the most improbable prediction ever but it is the first time I've ever got one right. The first time I've ever even come close, to be perfectly honest. I thank you."

[Paulie123]

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