Yet Another OOTP6 Dynasty, Year 2: One Flew Over the Pale Hose

[ifspuds]

I'm not sure what to say. The triple play, cool! I had a 7-4-3 triple play in a playoff game in the Northwest League. First time I'd seen one.

But not cool, cause it's the beloved Pale Hose! It's strangely fitting though, I suppose.

Hey, that rhymes!

[cknox0723]

Originally Posted by ifspuds

I'm not sure what to say. The triple play, cool! I had a 7-4-3 triple play in a playoff game in the Northwest League. First time I'd seen one.

But not cool, cause it's the beloved Pale Hose! It's strangely fitting though, I suppose.

Hey, that rhymes!

you can take the t.p. as a sign that we really suck, or take it as i did. i'm not sure either way is preferable.

loved the last part of your post, spuds. speaking of strangely fitting...that's about the best "page flip" post a pale hose thread has seen.

[cknox0723]

Originally Posted by cknox

it was an inauspicious start to the season for 37 year old arthur rhodes, who walked the prior two batters to allow aurilia a chance to blast his club off to victory. however, rhodes has saved 84 games over the past three seasons, posting an earned-run average of just over two in about 200 innings. so i posit to say that reports of his demise would be greatly exaggerated, 84.00 earned run average be damned.

rhodes has now blown two saves in three days for 1-2 oakland, with his latest effort the type that only arsonists could appreciate. 3-2 at safeco, bottom of the ninth. opening day hero rich aurilia leads off with a single, robby hammock doubles two batters later. a wild pitch puts one run on the board and also allows pinch-runner juan "the out-sucking machine" uribe to move up to third. jose lopez follows with a 275-foot fly ball to right, uribe jogs home, and all of the navigators do the funky chicken at home plate.

Originally Posted by cknox

and cleveland is still a fine team, if not one particularly likely to become a dynasty. two games shouldn't change that.

but what about three games? wilson alvarez -- chris berman might call him "87 year old wilson alvarez" -- outdueled proven playoff pitcher c.c. sabathia, helped by three runs batted in by michael jack "aching back" sweeney. spuds, i think you will appreciate the rhyme at the end of that last sentence as much as anyone.

brian schmack's still on pace for 162 saves and cleveland is still tied with...the pale hose. still plenty of ball ahead of us, folks.

[cknox0723]

game iv - chw (0-3) @ bos (3-0) - "dreamer in my dreams"

last year: W 7-6 @ ANA - we beat an american league west team (one of just eleven times we did that in aught-six in thirty-four tries). joe roa blows a save, and jeremy reed plays the hero once again. it's seventy and sunny every day in antarctica in this world.

this time around: j. depaula (0-0, 0.00) vs. a. martinez (0-0, 0.00)

I gave Anastacio Martinez the moniker of "The Other Martinez" sometime last year, and it looks as though that name will be an apt one after he starts the final game of this four-game series by walking Ramon Vazquez. Adam Kennedy strokes a single to left-center, and just like yesterday, we're in business. But then Anastacio really makes good on his nickname -- by resembling the other Martinez, the guy who shut us out on Opening Day. Ordonez flies out, Thomas pops up, and Raul Gonzalez grounds to second. No triple play, still nothing to it. No runs.

DePaula looks okay in the first, getting a ground ball off the bat of Johnny Damon, which is nice. Willie Bloomquist follows suit, which isn't exactly the world's greatest accomplishment, but -- hey, two outs. Then DSM-IV Jorge grooves a fastball. Manny smacks it off the Monster. Uh, no problem...no problem. No prob--

"The three-one to Garciaparra...fastball, up in the zone and he turns on it and fires his hips through! Crushed to left-center! Way back! Way back! And that ball is OUTTA HERE!!!"

Two-nuttin', just like so. Yeah, no problem. No problem at all.

Anastacio channels Pedro over the next few frames, but Good Jorge shows up, albeit with his typical tendency to leave one slider in five out over the plate. But shots off the bats of Vance Wilson, Nomar, and Willie Bloomquist all stay within the confines built at Yawkey Way, and Boston only picks up one additional run over the next four frames, putting the score at three to goose egg after five.

In the top of the sixth, Mr. Kennedy gets things going once again, this time with a one-out double into the right field corner. "Buddha" Ordonez loops a single to left-center to give us runners at the corners...but Frank Thomas picks another really inopportune time to decide that he'd rather poop in his pants than hit career home run number five hundred eleven. Raul Gonzalez walks, loading the bags with two outs for Jeremy Reed.

Now scroll all the way up for a second. Click on the link to last year's game.

OK, you back? Notice any similarities? Jeremy "The Zebra" Reed earned his stripes and his "Clutch God" nickname with a game-winning tater against Kansas City last year. Plus, we're going to score some runs eventually, damn it!!! Those two facts are enough to create in my mind visions of baseballs struck at angles and speeds that allow Pale Hose runners to tear around the bases at frightening speed and touch the holy pentagon once, twice, thrice, and tie the game. Reed takes a ball high and the images of what could -- no, what will be -- just whirl around faster. I can see it...I can see it...here it comes, fastball high and in, just where Reed likes it, swing and --

"Popped up behind the second base bag. Bloomquist and Garciaparra converging...Willie waves both arms high, calls for it and...hauls it in for the third and final out of the inning. Martinez gets out of a jam as the Pale Hose strand three..."

Hmm. That's not quite what the dreamer in my dreams was going for, I don't think. Still three innings to go, though, right? We'll get 'em next inning.

[Y0DA55]

Did anyone else get this when clicking on said link to the other game.

Don't worry Craig, one of these days, your boys are going to pull some games out.

[seth70liz76]

Originally Posted by Y0DA55

Did anyone else get this when clicking on said link to the other game.

Don't worry Craig, one of these days, your boys are going to pull some games out.

No I got this, which was about as usefull as your link Y0DA.

Keep the chin up Craig, even Wid Matthews 5-year plan took 7 season to truely bottom out. You've got plenty of time to turn this around, it's still early.

[cknox0723]

hey, i just wanted to see if people were actually clicking the link. really.

and we haven't lost this game yet, you bloody pessimists!!!

[seth70liz76]

Originally Posted by cknox0723

hey, i just wanted to see if people were actually clicking the link. really.

and we haven't lost this game yet, you bloody pessimists!!!

Fair enough, but I prefer realist.

[MattStewNYY]

Ooh.

Dem's fightin words.

[seth70liz76]

Originally Posted by MattStewNYY

Ooh.

Dem's fightin words.

Craig knows I'm kidding. Don't you, Craig? For the love of God please say you do! [/hysterics]

[cknox0723]

Originally Posted by seth70liz76

Craig knows I'm kidding. Don't you, Craig? For the love of God please say you do! [/hysterics]

damn you, seth! whatever happened to the hall of fame power of positive thinking??? damn you!

soooo...anyway -- i was reminded of this quote while doing some writing earlier.

Originally Posted by copper888

The suspense is killin me man! I can't handle the half inning updates once every two days...I need more Pale Hose!

my apologies in advance to this thread's biggest grady sizemore fan. i just go where my neurons take me. and in this case...well, you'll see.

[cknox0723]

To have a chance at winning this one, we'll have to keep our three-nothing hymen (SFW) intact. Fortunately, a Vance Wilson walk leads nowhere as Good Jorge induces Bill Mueller to tap a bouncer up the middle. Ramon Vazquez has no trouble gobbling it up like macaroni to start a 6-3 inning-ending double-play, and since DePaula would be due up to bat third in the seventh, he hits the showers having given us a quality start, if not necessarily one of the highest quality. I'll take Mediocre Jorge over the Schizophrenic version any day of the week.

Enrique Wilson, the man who bats in his place in the top of the next frame, digs in not with two outs and no one on, as you might expect, but with a man at first and a man down. Enrique strokes a single to left off the quickly fatiguing "Other Martinez", and we're in business for the flying wallendas at the top of the order. Ramon Vazquez doesn't disappoint, either, cracking a single to right-center to finally get us on the board -- except it doesn't, as Yorvit Torrealba holds at third. Should've pinch-ran with Miggy Olivo, but, hell, I didn't expect us to do something so improbable as rally. Fortunately, it doesn't come back to bite us, as Adam Kennedy takes the next five pitches, four of which aren't especially close to the strike zone. It may not force runners to "tear around the bases at frightening speed", but it still brings home a run. Better yet, the bases are still loaded -- for Buddha. Our number three hitter, the MVP three years ago, the superstar. Who better to have up in this spot? If he can't do it, nobody can!

You know as well as I do that even thinking that last line is asking for trouble. Sure enough, Maggs hits a shot -- right back at Martinez. You know the type, happens once every other game, give or take. A rocket right back through the box that'd take the pitcher's head off if it connected with a skin flap rather than a leather one. It's not a skill to catch that ball; more like a reaction, same as if you're driving and a deer runs out in front of you. Self-preservation. Catches like the one Martinez made -- they never turn into double or triple plays, though. No one can think that quickly when they're still feeling around to make sure all their parts are attached. It's like when you swerve off the road to avoid that deer. If you're lucky, you miss it, but then you're heading straight for a telephone pole or something. You could avoid it under normal circumstances, but your mind's still stuck on the deer. Has to be how some of those one-car wrecks happen, right?

Same with Martinez. After snaring Buddha's liner, he had three runners on the bags who were left flapping in the wind because they expected the ball to be bouncing through the outfield. Throw to any base, that's out number three. But Anastacio didn't do that, instead sort of looking down at the ball in his glove for a moment, then looking down at his feet before the light bulb went off in his mind. "Hey," sayeth the angel in Anastacio's mind, "I could double someone off and then I'll be thirty seconds closer to a post-game 'back rub'!!!" By then, it's too late. Aye...there's the rub.

But no one-car wreck here, as Frank Thomas pops up on the fourth pitch he sees. Again it's Willie Bloomquist waving his arms and snaring the can of corn, and again we've left the bases loaded.

If this is going in the direction I think it is, pretty soon someone from Boston's going to twist the knife a little deeper. Sure enough, Jeromy Burnitz is announced as the pinch-hitter to start the bottom of the seventh. A "proven RBI man", a "Blake Street Bomber"...just the man to take a mediocre Akinori Otsuka fastball and with one violent swipe of the air -- CRACK! -- launch a blast to left that no one's going to run down without scaling the Green Monster, and even then, Jeremy Reed's arms aren't fifteen feet long. Sayonara, pelota.

My Japanese Love Machine's not done, though. He allows a single. Now, even when the batsman Murphy is bunted into scoring position by Willie Bloomquist, I'm more apathetic than anything. Home runs, I'll bitch about -- I mean, if you're going to fling crap up there, at least keep it down in the zone. But singles happen to even the best pitchers bringing their best stuff -- seen any "broken-bat" or "seeing-eye" home runs lately? It's why that DIPS thing makes sense, at least to me.

But after that single and sacrifice, Otsuka stops throwing strikes, walking Ramirez and then Garciaparra. Want to, pardon the pun, push my buttons? Keep trying to throw that perfect pitch, and walk a bunch of guys. That's why Rick "Wild Thing" Ankiel is calling Charlotte his home right now. Despite his occasional flashes of brilliance where he'd make my heart sing, those times where he'd throw twenty-seven balls and nine strikes in two-thirds of an inning were awfully hard to forget.

You know what else is hard to forget? The bases are loaded right now -- mostly because of walks. Good Jorge showed up for a full start today -- except for two damned batters. Boston hasn't really outplayed us, have they? But because of some jackass reliever, we're about to fall behind a half-dozen runs once again. Lose our fourth straight.

You start to doubt yourself when things get bad. "If only I'd done this, if only I'd done that..." I wish I had my own personal Joe Roa. Just as I start thinking "Why didn't I sign Berkman last year or Rivas this year? This team sucks!", Roa struts in like the Pied Piper and lulls the citizens of Boston to sleep with his power splitter. Kevin Millar's shocked and amazed enough to take two quick strikes. He manages to pull himself together enough to foul off a pitch or three, then lets another couple go to work the count even, but then ends up gaping at another nasty, diving split-fingered fastball, right on the outside black. Two down. And Roger Cedeno's all too eager to fall prey to Roa's charms, hacking at the first pitch and tapping it right back to "The Pied Piper", who tosses it to first, ending the frame and giving Boston a taste of their own medicine as they leave the bags full.

Nice to see Roa hasn't lost the magic. Stranded 45 of the 53 runners he inherited last season and he's a perfect three for three this year. Still, with a three-run lead with only two innings to go, Boston can leave fifty runners on base and it won't much matter. No problem, right?

Right. No problem at all.

[Tavarin]

I'm not liking all these cliffhangers....

Come on Pale Hose!

[BadluckinOOTP]

Originally Posted by Tavarin

I'm not liking all these cliffhangers....

Join the club!

[cknox0723]

Originally Posted by Tavarin

I'm not liking all these cliffhangers...

ok. no cliffhangers in this next post, i promise!

[cknox0723]

I was sitting in the local coffee shop on Saturday, reading Donald Miller's "Blue Like Jazz" and eating a piece of apple pie. An older gentleman came in, asked for a few things, and then for a quart of pistachio ice cream. "Sorry," the reasonably attractive 20-something girl behind the counter said, "We only have sugar-free."

It would have made for a neat, surreal little anecdote if the gentleman had turned around in a huff upon hearing that, went and slammed the door shut or something. He didn't; he just went without a quart of pistachio for his wife or grandkids or whoever. Solely because it didn't have sugar. To me, a guy who doesn't salt his food, only rarely uses pepper, and doesn't put sugar in his iced tea, I can't understand that. You want pistachio ice cream, who cares whether it has sugar or not? Pretty much tastes the same, and you'll forget it by tomorrow, anyway!

"OK," you're thinking, "Cute story."

"But what the **** does it have to do with the Pale Hose???"

Just like Ruth Graham, insomnia, and Qantas Airlines, absolutely nothing.

[BadluckinOOTP]

[seth70liz76]

Originally Posted by cknox0723

I was sitting in the local coffee shop on Saturday, reading Donald Miller's "Blue Like Jazz" and eating a piece of apple pie. An older gentleman came in, asked for a few things, and then for a quart of pistachio ice cream. "Sorry," the reasonably attractive 20-something girl behind the counter said, "We only have sugar-free."

It would have made for a neat, surreal little anecdote if the gentleman had turned around in a huff upon hearing that, went and slammed the door shut or something. He didn't; he just went without a quart of pistachio for his wife or grandkids or whoever. Solely because it didn't have sugar. To me, a guy who doesn't salt his food, only rarely uses pepper, and doesn't put sugar in his iced tea, I can't understand that. You want pistachio ice cream, who cares whether it has sugar or not? Pretty much tastes the same, and you'll forget it by tomorrow, anyway!

"OK," you're thinking, "Cute story."

"But what the **** does it have to do with the Pale Hose???"

Just like Ruth Graham, insomnia, and Qantas Airlines, absolutely nothing.

And since Ruth Graham has, in her own way, become a reoccuring character in the realm of the Pale Hose, having nothing to do with the team doesn't mean it isn't important. Without stories like this, what would Craig link to?

[MattStewNYY]

Garbanzo Beans

I think it works, Craig.

[Tavarin]

Originally Posted by cknox0723

I was sitting in the local coffee shop on Saturday, reading Donald Miller's "Blue Like Jazz" and eating a piece of apple pie. An older gentleman came in, asked for a few things, and then for a quart of pistachio ice cream. "Sorry," the reasonably attractive 20-something girl behind the counter said, "We only have sugar-free."

It would have made for a neat, surreal little anecdote if the gentleman had turned around in a huff upon hearing that, went and slammed the door shut or something. He didn't; he just went without a quart of pistachio for his wife or grandkids or whoever. Solely because it didn't have sugar. To me, a guy who doesn't salt his food, only rarely uses pepper, and doesn't put sugar in his iced tea, I can't understand that. You want pistachio ice cream, who cares whether it has sugar or not? Pretty much tastes the same, and you'll forget it by tomorrow, anyway!

"OK," you're thinking, "Cute story."

"But what the **** does it have to do with the Pale Hose???"

Just like Ruth Graham, insomnia, and Qantas Airlines, absolutely nothing.

Glad to see everything got wrapped up in one tidy post

[cknox0723]

Originally Posted by seth70liz76

And since Ruth Graham has, in her own way, become a reoccuring character in the realm of the Pale Hose, having nothing to do with the team doesn't mean it isn't important. Without stories like this, what would Craig link to?

i have no idea, but i wholeheartedly agree with the bolded part of your post.

Originally Posted by MattStewNYY

Garbanzo Beans

I think it works, Craig.

fanboy!!

Originally Posted by Tavarin

Glad to see everything got wrapped up in one tidy post

hilarious!!

unfortunately you'll have to wait a bit longer for a conclusion to our fourth game of the season. somehow, i think it's worth it -- i'm starting to notice a correlation between the quality of my posts and the later into the night they're posted. guess this one will be the big litmus test of that theory.

[cknox0723]

"Let's play...WHEEL...OF...RELIEVERS!!!"



Our first contestant...Terry Francona!! Spin the wheel, Terry!

ticka ticka ticka ticka...

And...you've landed on the Scott Williamson space, Terry. Pick a letter!

K, you say? Oooh, sorry, Terry, no K's! Here comes the Raul Gonzalez whammy...

(evil cackling as the Gonzalez piece slowly walks onto the screen)

You can pass your turn, Terry, or -- oh, he's spinning the wheel again, folks! And it's coming to a stop on...J.C. Romero!!! Whaddya got, Terry?

An F, folks! F for foul out? Nope, sorry, this time, the F stands for f***tard! And here comes Jeffrey Hammonds!!

(a miniature Hammonds, made of porcelain, poses on screen as Gonzalez slowly shuffles a few steps forward)

You say you want to buy a vowel now, Terry? You can still pass or...no, an 'A'? A fan of Hawthorne, Mr. Francona? No, there are no A's, you maroon! That's three strikes, Terry. You've got one more play...but first, watch out for Miguel Olivo, who slices and dices!

(a souped-up RC car zooms on screen, crashing into both Gonzalez, who flies off into the stratosphere somewhere, and the porcelain Hammonds, who shatters and lands some 90 feet away from the car)

One more play, Terry. What do ya got?

(commercial break)

......

OK, Terry. You've had time to think it over. What will your last move -- oh, he's spinning the wheel again, folks!

ticka ticka ticka ticka tick-a tick...

And it's slowing down and coming to a stop on...oh, it might be, and...



YOU'VE HIT THE JACKPOT, TERRY! Give us a letter, and you'll win one relief ace, guaranteed to get you out of those tough jams! Complete with one-year warranty...

(voice-over as Francona is posed in a so-called pensive position: "the password is...bring the cheese.")

Made your selection yet, Terry? He looks ready, folks! For one relief ace, what do you say?

"...I'll go with a 'B', Pat."

He's picked a 'B', folks, and...Terry, are you confident? Oh, he's crawled under the podium...but COME ON OUT, TERRY, because there's one 'B' and you've won the Jackpot!!! Don, tell Terry what he's won!

"Terry, you've got yourself...one used Bartolome Fortunato! Never mind the rust, unwieldy name, and 4.75 career ERA, his 96 mile an hour heater is perfect for any jam against the bottom of the order of a Triple-A quality lineup! Save your real pitchers for when you need 'em with Bartolome Fortunato...suggested retail price, three hundred and nine thousand dollars!"

Aaaand...that's all the time we have for today, folks! Thanks for tuning in to Wheel of Relievers and join us tomorrow to see everyone's favorite former Yankee closer, Sparky Lyle, as he faces a tough call in the Atlantic League! For Don Morello, I'm Pat Ajax! Have a great night. Give me a hug, Terry, you're a winner!

[dougaiton]

The Pale Hose are probably my third favourite franchise in US sports right now. I don't check their box scores every day, but I make sure I pop in to check every couple. I couldn't tell you who their backup catcher was, but I could make a good guess at the everyday lineup, and I could make typical subjective statements like 'Kennedy needs to hustle more'.

In short, the Pale Hose have crossed the boundary into reallifedom. That's pretty amazing going, Craig.

[MattStewNYY]

Originally Posted by cknox0723

"Let's play...WHEEL...OF...RELIEVERS!!!"



Our first contestant...Terry Francona!! Spin the wheel, Terry!

ticka ticka ticka ticka...

And...you've landed on the Scott Williamson space, Terry. Pick a letter!

K, you say? Oooh, sorry, Terry, no K's! Here comes the Raul Gonzalez whammy...

(evil cackling as the Gonzalez piece slowly walks onto the screen)

You can pass your turn, Terry, or -- oh, he's spinning the wheel again, folks! And it's coming to a stop on...J.C. Romero!!! Whaddya got, Terry?

An F, folks! F for foul out? Nope, sorry, this time, the F stands for f***tard! And here comes Jeffrey Hammonds!!

(a miniature Hammonds, made of porcelain, poses on screen as Gonzalez slowly shuffles a few steps forward)

You say you want to buy a vowel now, Terry? You can still pass or...no, an 'A'? A fan of Hawthorne, Mr. Francona? No, there are no A's, you maroon! That's three strikes, Terry. You've got one more play...but first, watch out for Miguel Olivo, who slices and dices!

(a souped-up RC car zooms on screen, crashing into both Gonzalez, who flies off into the stratosphere somewhere, and the porcelain Hammonds, who shatters and lands some 90 feet away from the car)

One more play, Terry. What do ya got?

(commercial break)

......

OK, Terry. You've had time to think it over. What will your last move -- oh, he's spinning the wheel again, folks!

ticka ticka ticka ticka tick-a tick...

And it's slowing down and coming to a stop on...oh, it might be, and...



YOU'VE HIT THE JACKPOT, TERRY! Give us a letter, and you'll win one relief ace, guaranteed to get you out of those tough jams! Complete with one-year warranty...

(voice-over as Francona is posed in a so-called pensive position: "the password is...bring the cheese.")

Made your selection yet, Terry? He looks ready, folks! For one relief ace, what do you say?

"...I'll go with a 'B', Pat."

He's picked a 'B', folks, and...Terry, are you confident? Oh, he's crawled under the podium...but COME ON OUT, TERRY, because there's one 'B' and you've won the Jackpot!!! Don, tell Terry what he's won!

"Terry, you've got yourself...one used Bartolome Fortunato! Never mind the rust, unwieldy name, and 4.75 career ERA, his 96 mile an hour heater is perfect for any jam against the bottom of the order of a Triple-A quality lineup! Save your real pitchers for when you need 'em with Bartolome Fortunato...suggested retail price, three hundred and nine thousand dollars!"

Aaaand...that's all the time we have for today, folks! Thanks for tuning in to Wheel of Relievers and join us tomorrow to see everyone's favorite former Yankee closer, Sparky Lyle, as he faces a tough call in the Atlantic League! For Don Morello, I'm Pat Ajax! Have a great night. Give me a hug, Terry, you're a winner!

Craig! AOL Instant Messenger! sometime! soon!

[cknox0723]

now, i just know that no one responded to my brilliantly witty game show parody with heaps of praise solely because dougaiton's nice reply was a tough act to follow. and truth be told, my response will probably be lacking, too.

Originally Posted by dougaiton

The Pale Hose are probably my third favourite franchise in US sports right now. I don't check their box scores every day, but I make sure I pop in to check every couple. I couldn't tell you who their backup catcher was, but I could make a good guess at the everyday lineup, and I could make typical subjective statements like 'Kennedy needs to hustle more'.

In short, the Pale Hose have crossed the boundary into reallifedom. That's pretty amazing going, Craig.

i'm not surprised that i've become as attached to the pale hose as i have. what does surprise me, and will continue to do so, are replies like this. the ones from folks that don't comment much never fail to make me shake my head in amazement and smile. why has this team drawn such a loyal following? is it the suckage of the team, or the fact that i don't particularly mind that the team is bad?

i'm not sure. what i do know is that though i lack the storytelling abilities of big six, or tib, tiger fan, or the overly modest seth70, i do enjoy writing this, probably just as much as they do. i never will know for sure how good my writing is -- such a subjective question, after all -- but i know i've become mostly content with where this thread fits in the paradigm of this board and my life in general.

seeing people say such kind things only reinforces that. thanks for the reply, doug.

[cknox0723]

Batting: Chicago (A), top of 8th.

New pitcher: Scott Williamson.

CF Raul Gonzalez:
Base on balls.

New pitcher: J.C. Romero.

LF Jeremy Reed replaced by:
PH Jeffrey Hammonds:
SINGLES to right
R. Gonzalez to second.

3B Eric Munson replaced by:
PH Miguel Olivo:
DOUBLES down the left field line.
R. Gonzalez scores.
J. Hammonds to third.

New pitcher: Bartolome Fortunato.

C Yorvit Torrealba:
Flies out to deep right-center.
Hammonds tags up at third...
He scores without a throw.

2B Enrique Wilson:
Flies out to left field.

SS Ramon Vazquez:
Grounds out to the first baseman.

Inning over... 2 runs, 2 hits, no errors.
Score: Boston 4, Chicago (A) 3

Terry Francona spun the wheel and hit the jackpot with Bartolome Fortunato, who got three outs in order. Why not Keith Foulke? Blame modern-day usage of the closer...or blame the weak bats at the bottom of our order. Fact was, those boys probably can't handle a 95+ mile an hour fastball...and because of that, we came up short.

But seeing a comeback, especially from a team that scored four runs in their first three games...that's as satisfying as an ice cream cone. So we didn't quite mount a big enough rally to get the 'W'. Who cares? There may not be any sugar in the ice cream, but it's cool and sweet and creamy. That's plenty good enough to satisfy my palate.

Then again, I don't put sugar in my iced tea, either.

CHW 3 BOS 4

WP: A. Martinez (1-0) - 7 IP, 8 H, 1 R, 3 BB, 3 K
LP: J. DePaula (0-1) - 6 IP, 6 H, 3 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 3 K
S: K. Foulke (1) - perfect ninth

Too Bad Terry Francona Couldn't Win... Joe Roa, who followed up his brilliant seventh-inning performance that kept us in it with a perfect bottom of the eighth. He's good. Real good. Too bad we couldn't win, either.

[J Winter]

After Roa's great performance, I now dub him Joe "Whoa" Roa.

[cknox0723]

game v - chw (0-4) @ cle (1-3)

in the fifth game of '06: lost 6-1 @ ana - poor juan uribe gets reamed throughout the game. sorry, bud. should've saved my wrath for that game's starting pitcher, the infamous nate cornejo.

aujourd'hui: j. rauch (0-0, 0.00) vs. c. lee (0-0, 0.00)

Cliff Lee is a skinny, live-armed 6'3" southpaw with the kind of strikeout rate, greater than seven and a half per nine frames, that doesn't come with just any pitcher. Jon Rauch was born scarcely a month later in 1978. But while Lee looks like the new Ron Guidry, Rauch posted up a clunky, replacement-level 4.75 earned run average in 119 innings last season, walking 51 and striking out just 55. Sounds an awful lot like another soft-tossing behemoth, Eric Hillman. Guidry won a Cy Young, throwing more innings in that 1978 season than Hillman did in his entire career. Is that to say Lee is a future member of the Hall of Very Good and Rauch is going to be in my hometown indy league by 2009? No, of course not.

Just the same, it gives you an idea of what we're facing in this fifth game of 2007. The fact that five of our starters are sitting because they aren't worth their weight again left-handed pitching...sweet, sweet icing on top of that 190 pounds of delicious Cliff Lee cake. Cleveland's little WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP last year? The coconut shavings on top. P.S. - I'm allergic to cherries. Icing, little bits of coconut...Cliff Lee...now that sounds like a cake. Really, it does.

I'm reminded of Dahl's Matilda as I type this, and the story of Bruce Bogtrotter. From that link:

In case you've forgotten, Bruce Bogtrotter was the little boy that stole a piece of chocolate cake from the Trunchbull in Matilda. As punishment, he then had to consume an entire cake in front of the whole school!

That's us. Eating 190 pounds of Cliff Lee cake. Tastes great for a while...but then you want to find the nearest toilet and let everything come right back out the same way it came in.

But that boy who stole a piece of chocolate cake in Matilda...Bruce Bogtrotter. Had to eat a whole cake as punishment? Well, in front of the whole school, he ate the entire damned thing, giving "the Trunchbull" a metaphorical middle finger. Goes to show something. Goes to show that just because standing in front of us is 190 pounds of a damned fine pitcher in Cliff Lee, we're not necessarily dead in the water. Especially with the 6'10" Jon Rauch in tow, unimposing though he may be. We can give that metaphorical middle finger, too.

I just hope Jonny Rauch is hungry.

[jaykno14]

Fantastic preview to a, well meaningless game I guess. LOL

[cknox0723]

It's only the fifth game of the season, but we've already heard the same sad tune a number of times, and right from the start once again, out it comes through the speakers at Jacobs Field. A weak top half of the first for the Pale Hose, only interrupted by Magglio Ordonez taking a free pass to first. The other three men to bat in the inning don't get the ball out of the infield. Cliff Lee's first and second strikeout victims are a new name to the club in Rule 5 shortstop Aneudi Cuevas, and a familiar face seeing his first action of the season, backstop Miguel Olivo. And the man so imposing as to earn the moniker "The Big Hurt" in his prime manages just a weak bouncer that's scooped by keystone man Ben Broussard, who takes it to the bag himself for out number three. This sounds vaguely like the Bon Jovi song "Bad Medicine", and I hate hair spray.

Your love is like bad madicine
Bad medicine is what I need
Shake it up, just like bad madicine
There ain't no doctor that can
Cure my disease...

The melancholy, migraine-inducing chords of 80's pop music continue to drift through my mind as the first inning progresses to the home team's turn at bat. Corey Patterson draws a leadoff free pass after four uninspiring tosses from Jon Rauch. Victor Martinez follows with a solid single to left-center that Jeffrey Hammonds does well just to cut off. He does that only by turning on what jets are left in his 36 year old, thrice-replaced knees, and so he's in no position to prevent the speedy Patterson from moving to third.

Hammonds is only patrolling the outfield because Jeremy Reed is an everyday player -- as long as the pitcher's paws are facing north. He was 6-33 (.182 avg) against left-handers last season. We have five such "everyday players" on our squad, according to the lineup I was inspired to fill out a few dozen fictional minutes earlier. How sadly paradoxical.

Jon Rauch, the "Not-So-Wonderkid", isn't sadly paradoxical -- he's just sad. His concept of pitching around Cleveland's best hitter, Jody Gerut, apparently involves pitching him underground. Four tosses and down to first he heads. Bases loaded. No one out. Cleanup hitter Ben Broussard comin' up.

Broussard doesn't have the power, patience, or contact rate of a premium player, but he's a cleanup hitter, giving him the chance to earn the tag RBI Machine. Premium player or not, he's imposing to the nearly seven foot tall Rauch, or perhaps his offerings ordinarily are really this mediocre. Either way, Rauch's third pitch, a change of pace, connects solidly with Broussard's thirty-ounce hunk of lumber and flies off deep into Magglio Ordonez's part of the outfield. Befitting the rather mediocre Broussard, it's not hit far enough nor high enough to seriously make even the pessimist in me think, "Bust out the rye bread and mustard." But it's more than enough to bring home Corey Patterson from third and still leave open the chance for a BIG inning for the Tribe with runners still straddling first and second.

Opportunity having rap-a-tap-tapped at the parlor door for the last five minutes, Jon "Mr. Plum" Rauch finally gets up out of the recliner, unlocks the deadbolt and turns the knob, showing a flash of the bravado that made Vris and I so excited about him in the first place. Just one glance at the evil Shannon "Colonel Mustard" Stewart clutching a candlestick, and in a split second -- say, the time it takes for one 87 mile an hour four-seam fastball to travel sixty and a half feet -- BAM!!!

"Stewart digs in with men at first and second for Cleveland. Rauch peers in, fiddles around with the ball, nods at Olivo. To the set...the kick and the pitch, fastball, in on the hands and rapped to third. Munson fields it cleanly, fires to second for one...Wilson down to first and Stewart is OUT by half a step! Five, four, and three, the Sox go around the horn for an inning-ending double play, and Jon Rauch sidesteps a jam nicely, loading the bases to start the frame, but giving up just a single run..."

The loud banging sound was not that of Stewart bludgeoning Jon Rauch to death, and with him, our hope for a win. Instead, it was the proverbial door being slammed shut. For one inning, at least, we've done good for ourselves. Well, one half-inning...and we're still trailing. So much for having our cake and eating it, too.

[copper888]

I thought the half inning posts were over man!!

[BadluckinOOTP]

[cknox0723]

Originally Posted by copper888/badluckinootp

I thought the half inning posts were over man!! I'm mad as hell and I won't stand for it!!!!!

hey, that was a full inning of pale hose baseball, thankyouverymuch.

and much as yoda's post of a few days back made me think -- "you know, he's right. this season may never end." -- i like this. it's just a different way of looking at things. i'll find another...eventually.

[cknox0723]

Jon Rauch is not a control artist, and his strikeout rate is below average. His fastball is slower than the fastest setting at the batting cages, and his curveball drifts no more than a snowflake as it falls to the ground on yet another winter day in New Jersey. The change of pace is a nice pitch to have in the arsenal regardless, and a slider is a nice in-between setting. But the utility of all of those offerings is amplified greatly when they're coming from a pitcher who stands nearly seven feet tall. Because of his height, Jon Rauch is a major league pitcher.

While a lot of things can work in the favor of a man swinging a big hunk of wood, having a couple feet in between your arms and legs ain't one of 'em. So Rauch's strikeout while at bat in the third inning isn't such a surprise, and his repeat performance leading off the fifth scarcely affects me. Little things like the pitcher striking out tend to be forgotten when this pitcher's faced the minimum over the last three innings, and even moreso when the euphoria of Shea Hillenbrand's game-tying fourth-inning single is still fresh in the mind.

But when Rauch calls the trainer out to the mound after two fly outs in the Cleveland half of that fifth inning, I'm suddenly left thinking about the weak cuts he had taken at the plate a half-inning earlier. As he's removed from the game with a nasty blister on his pitching hand, I'm wondering if we'd be heading on to the sixth if I'd never unchecked the 'Use designated hitter' box. It's easy to lose yourself in hypotheticals, perhaps easiest of all when pondering baseball, a sport defined by the slightest of angles and quickest blinks of the eye. As much predictive weight as the hypothetical may hold, as intellectually stimulating as it may be, it's too easy to forget that there are always reasons for what could have been not having been.

But who gives a sh*t about what could have been when you're rolling unimpeded towards victory? We can do no wrong today. The spherical baton gets passed on from one Pale Hose reliever to another, and Calero, Gallo, and Otsuka all have that perfect touch. Soft, warm, strong -- that touch. Then the bats follow.

Magglio Ordonez leads off the sixth with a long home run to left to give us our first lead of the ballgame. Three batters later, Shea Hillenbrand lines a single over the second base bag. Raul Gonzalez darts from that bag to third and on home, and it's 3-1. Maybe Hillenbrand really is an "RBI Machine."

In the top of the seventh, an Aneudi Cuevas double followed by three walks brings home a fourth run. We put the game out of reach in the ninth with a flurry of hits off of David Riske. Five in total, including the second double off the bat of "The Element", Raul Gonzalez. The most well-timed knock of the bunch is a single to left-center by Frank Thomas that plates two, after a double steal some seconds earlier had put Olivo and Ordonez in scoring position. Aki Otsuka and then P.J. Bevis gets knocked around some in the ninth, but after allowing a double and a long fly out, Bevis recovers to end the game in brilliant fashion, with strikeouts of middle infielders Durham and Berroa.

It shouldn't make any sense that marginal players like Hillenbrand and Gonzalez can play the hero against a World Championship club, or that Rauch and a cast of thousands can best the new Guidry and a Proven Closer (TM) in David Riske. But look deep enough, and you start to understand how it happened, if not necessarily why. By all rights, this should have been yet another meaningless 7-2 loss, but for some reason, we spun the wheel today and...ticka-ticka-ticka...hit the jackpot. For one day, we were able to have our cake -- and eat it, too. Who cares that we'll wake up tomorrow with a stomachache?



CHW 7 CLE 4

WP: K. Calero (1-0)
LP: C. Lee (0-1)

Game Ball Goes To... This win proved there is a divine being in this universe...in the form of Siddhartha Gautama. Magglio "Buddha" Ordonez walked in the first inning. He singled and came around to score in the fourth. The sixth inning began with his long home run to left. Mercifully, he was intentionally walked in the seventh. The next batter was Cliff Lee's last -- he walked Frank Thomas to force in our fourth run. Maggs added a single to left-center in the three-run ninth inning. For as much as we needed so many different things to come together to win a ballgame, it's an awfully big help when your number three hitter gets on base five times in five tries.

[Tavarin]

A Pale Hose win? Amazing!

Now get out of the cellar with another win against the Indians

[BadluckinOOTP]

[cknox0723]

game vi - chw (1-4) @ cle (1-4) - sunrise, sunset

l'année passée: lost 10-2 @ ana - mark buehrle sucks? joe roa sucks? whoa!!!

cette année: m. buehrle (0-1, 5.14) vs. j. beckett (0-1, 5.40)

As the time of some of my posts indicate, I have what you could call a creative definition of a sleep cycle. It's unfortunate, but what the hell, I'm still young. I can deal with it...for the most part.

Once or twice in the past few months, while I was still back at school, I had occasion to pull what was close to an all-nighter. The reasons for these sojourns are still a bit of a mystery to me, but never mind that. On one night in mid-March, the school was on its spring break, but I was still on the campus -- New Jersey's ain't exactly a trip around the corner from Virginia, and I have what you could call antipathy towards Amtrak. It was pretty much me and the squirrels and the wind sharing that campus for a week, since some 80+ percent of CNU's students are from Virginia and went home. That was an odd week, but a productive one and an experience I highly recommend. Makes you appreciate certain things more.

Some night in the middle of that week, the isolation and loneliness got to me. I couldn't sleep at all, and with my wheels sitting in the Knox driveway back in the Garden State, I was pretty much confined to my residence hall, not that there's really anywhere to go in "Bad News", Virginia, anyway. So I stayed up most of the night, reading, writing, taking the occasional stroll around campus, and generally doing what I could to cope without a television or radio. Doing a lot of reflecting, too -- though I do that a lot, obviously. Around four or five in the morning, I was starting to finally wear out a little bit, but I kept on going, just generally passing time, if you would. Then I decided to walk outside to watch the sun rise. And so I trekked across campus, eventually coming to stop in the middle of an empty parking lot, with only a few stray critters for company. At the horizon I stared, watching as the dark blueish-black of night became engulfed in yellow and orange as the sun ascended into view. Somehow, in that few minutes, that isolation that had bothered me all night became much more tranquil. As much as I cannot comprehend why many aspects of science occur, beyond the fact that they just do, there is something very calming about actually seeing them happen, something that allows you to realize that there is a grander scheme to things, outside yourself.

So I'm sure I was smiling and full of wonderfully obnoxious thoughts as I walked back towards my dormitory. As I strolled along the half-mile or so, probably whistling out of tune as I did so, clouds suddenly came overhead and then, without warning, opened up, unleashing a veritable torrent of cold drizzle. Now, I'm not one of those people that run to get out of the rain -- what the hell, you're not going to melt! -- but as I slowly got wetter and wetter, a thought crept into my mind.

"What the hell am I going to do now?"

I couldn't come up with a good answer for that. Ten minutes earlier, I was at peace with, perhaps, my own existence. For me, that is a feeling that's tough to hold on to, even for a moment. Then, suddenly, I was just wet and tired as hell, with nothing I really had to do and no one to see.

So I trudged four floors back up to my room and went to sleep, not waking up until both the rain and sunshine had turned into night once again.

[BadluckinOOTP]

Originally Posted by cknox0723

game vi - chw (1-4) @ cle (1-4) - sunrise, sunset

l'année passée:

cette année:

.

Hay, we's donts speak nones of that fancy pants france talk or the italians you have up in that post in Oklahoma! This is America, Frenchie!

[Y0DA55]

Beckett vs Buerhrle

Good Matchup! I'm interested to see where this goes.

And Craig, your not alone in your feelings about where you belong in the Universe. It'll come eventually, you just have to accept that, try to live your life in the best possible way, and things will fall in line.

[cknox0723]

nice replies, gentlemen. i can't provide anything in kind, at the moment, but that doesn't mean i don't appreciate them!! and in a way these posts provide a response, if only a tangential one. in some way.

for your sake, badluckinootp, this next post is also free of the français.