Oakland A's 2024 And Beyond Dynasty

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
2 June 2025
A's stock up on young arms in amateur draft
By Rookie Betts, draft correspondent

Oakland GM Paulie Beane selected five young relief arms in yesterday's draft, all of whom the club's scouts project to 4* or better. Oakland had the 22nd overall pick as a result of other clubs losing their earlier pick in the round through free agent signings, plus 2 picks in the supplementary round.

They selected relievers Jose Duran (21/L/2*), Jose Martinez (21/R/2.5*), Brandon MacPherson (20/L/0.5*), Gonzalo Avila (18/L/0.5*) and Ramon Sandoval (21/R/1*). Beane said that he was looking for bullpen arms from the draft anyway, but ended up with this selection simply by choosing the best player available when each pick came round. "By the time it got to our first pick, all the batters remaining were a pile of rubbish. Complete dross, seriously. The draft pools on this game can be dreadful". Duran and Martinez may be challenging for spots on the major league roster before the season is out.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
13 June 2025
A's legend Fernandez records 200th career win
By Nick L. Ball, pitching correspondent

Jose Fernandez, the A's ace pitcher and all round good guy, recorded his 200th win last night in Oakland's 10-7 victory over the Baltimore Orioles. 82 of those wins have come since his move to the Coliseum midway through the 2020 season. In total in his stellar career he is 200-84 with a 2.92 ERA. "200 is a big number", explained Fernandez for the benefit of those less gifted mathematically.

Fernandez has continued to find life trickier this season than he's accustomed to. He is 5-4 with a 4.38 ERA, and has just 7 quality starts from 13 appearances. "My general manager totally has a bromance thing going on with me so I'm not exactly fearing for my place, but I need to get back to form", he said. Fernandez's mega bucks $22m per annum contract runs until the end of the 2027 season, so skint owner Ban-ki Rupt is desperately hoping this is just an ongoing slump and not the start of a rapid decline. Rupt's tears will be audible across the city if that contract does turn bad.

Yesterday's win completed a 3-game sweep over the Orioles, and moved the improving A's to 34-26 for the season.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
23 June 2025
Oakland loses ground after second whitewash by Texas in as many weeks
By O. Forsix, series sweeps correspondent

The Texas Rangers yesterday completed their second 3-0 sweep over the A's in as many weeks to surge ahead in the American League West. Oakland's most recent defeat to their divisional rivals, a 7-1 mauling, saw 4-time Cy Young Award winner Jose Fernandez get knocked about for 5 runs in the 1st inning, with A's field manager Phil D'Manager removing him from the game after retiring just one batter.

The sequence of losses to Texas saw Oakland fall to 37-33. They are firmly in the wildcard race but are now 6 games back from the 44-28 Rangers, who are rapidly disappearing into the distance. The A's as usual lead the AL in pitching, with a team ERA of 3.70, but their starting rotation has underperformed high preseason expectations. Fernandez's struggles are well documented, while lefty Rodney Stewart has also been below par. The bright spots are the excellent form of all-star Denny Miller, who has a 3.05 ERA, and the continued development of Karl Dickson, who looks like he may be able to become an ace in a year or two.

Asked about this, GM Paulie Beane said, "Those two sweeps by Texas were a shambles. The pitching was dreadful. How hard is it to occasionally not throw one right over the heart of the plate?" He announced that Bill Williams would return to his rotation spot, with Luke Jackson heading back with his tail between his legs to the bullpen. Oakland did swat away the Colorado Rockies in between the two Texas series, and right fielder Isael Soto was awarded AL Player of the Week honours after going 15-28 with two home runs.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
8 July 2025
Weaver joins Oakland from Pittsburgh in exchange for Mendez and Kimbrel
By Niamh Erheardofhim, unknown minor leaguers correspondent

Oakland GM Paulie Beane has strengthened his infield backup batting options by trading to acquire second baseman Rich Weaver (25/R/1.5*, drafted 2022 rd 1 by Pittsburgh) from the Pirates. Ineffective waste of space second baseman Rodrigo Mendez joins the Pirates in return. Also part of a package of ineffectiveness sent to Pennsylvania by Beane was ageing reliever Craig Kimbrel, whose departure frees up $3m in wasted payroll for the A's. Unwanted (and largely ineffective) journeyman minor league reliever Jorge N. Rodriguez also heads eastwards.

Weaver is a similar type of player to Mendez; a decent contact hitter with the power of a child who is versatile defensively. He sports a .388 OBP in 165 plate appearances for Pittsburgh but has yet to feature at all so far this year. He and Marcus Semien are now Beane's infield backup options.

Fans of the 44-38 A's, who are now 6.5 games back of Texas, were thoroughly underwhelmed by a deal which is surely not going to kickstart the club's faltering attempts to three-peat. Beane says he thinks the deal makes the squad younger without having compromised on quality, and also frees up payroll. Better news for the fans is the return of Matt Olson from the disabled list. Outfielder Jim Thompson will get a chance to cure his current bout of swingandmissitis in the minors by making way for Olson on the active roster.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
14 July 2025
Three all-star call-ups for Oakland despite stuttering form
By Haile Inconsistent, patchy form correspondent

Oakland pitcher Denny Miller has been rewarded for his superb performances during the first half of the season with his third all-star selection. Miller has gone 9-5 with a 3.25 ERA, and been the one beacon of solidity in an otherwise patchy A's rotation. The 25-year-old, who joined Oakland in June 2020 from Miami as part of the trade that brought in Jose Fernandez, was also chosen for the American League team in the annual pointless calendar-filling fixture in 2022 and 2024. Fernandez himself was conspicuous by his absence.

New closer Eric Wright received his first call-up in what looks like being his breakout season. Lead-off batting centre fielder Eddie Holland gained his first selection also, in reflection of his year where he has a .389 OBP, 14 home runs and 64 ribbies. It is fair to say that few other A's batters will have been in contention for spots.

Meanwhile, ungrateful former A's closer Bernardo Lopez received his fourth all-star call-up. The Philadelphia hurler has an impressive 27 saves from 28 opportunities and a 1.00 ERA. But then again, given the Phillies are paying him $20m per year to only pitch when their team is already winning, that's the least they can expect.

Looking back on the first half of the season, which sees the 47-41 A's occupying the second AL wildcard spot but 7.5 games back from the impressive Texas Rangers in the AL West division, GM Paulie Beane said, "We're just too inconsistent to mount a credible challenge at the moment. The series we've just finished with Houston is a case in point. We only conceded 1 run in winning the first two games, but then got battered 12-1 and 7-2 in the last two. I would get cross, but this is just a computer game so there is no one to get cross at except myself".

Beane added: "In future I may rethink my strategy of allocating virtually all my available payroll budget for the year as it gives me no room to trade for new players or offer contract extensions". He refused to comment on whether he would look to move on underperforming earners, but catcher Luis Torrens ($5m per year), third baseman Patrick Snel ($7m) and reserve outfielder Jim Thompson ($4m) will have fidgeted uncomfortably in their seats at Beane's remarks.

It has been a fabulous couple of years for the team with the joint-lowest payroll in baseball. But it is hard to see that run continuing and Paulie Beane will now have to earn his coin rebuilding his team. He started off that process yesterday with a fairly minor trade, sending failed relief pitcher Sonny Gray to Seattle in exchange for relievers Juan Gonzalez (25/R/2.5*, drafted 2017 rd 2 by Houston) and unlikely-to-ever-play-and-just-a-throw-in-to-the-trade Bill Foole (24/L/1*, drafted 2021 rd 4 by Seattle).

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
2 August 2025
Snel shrugs off "drugs" rumours with 2 home run blast against the Dodgers
By X. Tassy, drug rumours correspondent

Patrick Snel tried to put behind him tabloid rumours about his extra-curricular problems as he blasted the Los Angeles Dodgers for two towering home runs in Oakland's 7-1 thrashing of their National League cousins yesterday. Snel wellied a solo shot into the stands in the 3rd inning to open the scoring, then smashed a 2-run shot out of the stadium in the 6th. In all he went 3-3 with a walk and 4 RBIs. The win was the A's fifth straight victory. They are now 56-46 and remain in second place in the American League West, but are still 9 games behind moneybags divisional rivals Texas.

Readers will recall that Snel's appearances in the front pages of the papers began in April when rumours surfaced of him attempting to smuggle a white powder into the country, stuffed inside a teddy bear. Now new rumours have been heard suggesting that this was not the first time he had been stopped by customs officials and discovered to have white powder hidden inside cuddly toys, and it may have happened on at least two previous occasions. The suspicion and innuendo generated by the rumours seemed to have affected Snel's performances this season, and club sources suggested that in the run-up to the trade deadline GM Paulie Beane had been looking for trades to replace the third baseman in the Oakland lineup. In the end Beane made no deadline deals, and with yesterday's powerful display Snel will hope to have started putting the affair behind him and consolidating his position at third base.

A club spokesman told reporters off the record, "We stand by Snel until such time as he is proven guilty of an offence. Obviously, however, if it turns out he has indeed been a naughty boy then we'll hang him out to dry and attempt to trade him. We're nice like that".

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
11 August 2025
Beane applauds Dickson's sensational display
By Sue Perb, shutout pitching correspondent

Oakland GM Paulie Beane could not stop smiling at today's post-match press conference. The days of him sitting speechless in front of assembled supporters appear to be long gone. The cause of his glee, was, unsurprisingly, the fantastic 3-hit shutout thrown by young starter Karl Dickson in last night's 10-0 humbling of the Boston Red Sox.

Dickson threw 9 innings for just those 3 hits plus 1 walk, with no fewer than 12 strikeouts. "I pitched amazingly well today, even if I do say so myself", said the exhilarated pitcher after the game. The 23-year-old has struggled at times this season and even after last night's game has an ERA of 4.22 and a 10-9 record. But as Beane pointed out, "His control has improved noticeably this season, and when he's on his game he can be devastating - just like last night".

Dickson is not expected to reach arbitration until the end of next season, by which time fans expect him to have become one of Oakland's most vital players. "It would be nice to have reached arbitration this year", said Dickson, "but in the meantime I should be able to scratch out an existence on a mere half a million dollars per year." After beating Boston, the A's now stand at 60-50, good enough for one of the two wildcard spots, but now 10.5 games behind the in-form Texas Rangers, who are starting to slip over the horizon. Oakland will have to reach and then win the wildcard lottery if they are to three-peat.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
18 August 2025
Past week encapsulates Oakland's erratic season
By Pat Chiform, inconsistent results correspondent

The shouting and screaming coming from inside the office of Oakland GM Paulie Beane could be heard from a dozen blocks away. There was also a loud crash which sounded very much like an iPad being hurled into a wall. The disturbances were heard shortly after yesterday's 11-6 loss to the Minnesota Twins which completed a week that perfectly encapsulated Oakland's frustrating season.

The first half of the week was excellent: a 3-0 sweep of Detroit with high quality pitching. Then, the converse, a 4-0 sweep by the American League Central leading Twins. Oakland end the week at 63-54, in second place in the AL West and clinging desperately to a wildcard spot, but increasingly far behind Texas, who now have what looks like a title-clinching 12 game lead. Yesterday's defeat featured Jose Fernandez getting plastered for 5 earned runs from just 2 innings pitched. Fernandez admitted, "I was pretty crap. Well, exceptionally crap if I'm completely honest. Dire."

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
1 September 2025
Miller wins American League pitcher of the month award for August; rosters expand
By Nick L. Curve, quality hurling correspondent

Denny Miller cemented his status as the most effective pitcher in the Oakland rotation this season as he was awarded the AL pitcher of the month honours for August. In 6 starts last month, he went 5-1 with a 3.07 ERA. Overall for this year he is 15-7 with a 3.28 ERA and 3.45 FIP. The A's as usual lead the majors in pitching, with league-leading figures of 509 runs conceded and a 3.62 team ERA. But Miller's displays have been the real highlight, with Jose Fernandez and Rodney Stewart falling short of expectations and Ambrose Bailey missing most of the season through injury. There is further promise for the future, however, with Karl Dickson having conceded no runs in his last three starts in addition to his shutout a few weeks ago.

Thanks to Miller, Oakland are still in with a shout. They are locked in a three horse race with Toronto and Houston for the two American League wildcard spots. Toronto at 72-58 and the A's at 71-59 currently occupy the positions, with the Astros just 1.5 games back. Oakland GM Paulie Beane told reporters at his regular press conference yesterday, "I think it'll go right to the wire. All three of us are having our ups and downs and I can't predict what will happen. All I do know is that if we make the wildcard game, I'll either think it's a terrific way of keeping interest going right to the end of the season and giving extra reward to winning a division, or say it's a stupid way to determine a club's fate after 162 games of slogging their guts out, depending on the result. The quantity of whisky sales in the Coliseum district will probably also be affected."

Meanwhile there were further developments coming out of the Patrick Snel "drug" rumour mill. It has emerged he was last week seen heading into his apartment clutching a teddy bear, which was believed to contain packets of white powder. A club spokesman said, "We refuse to comment on speculation. Patrick is subject to regular mandatory drug testing just like other players and has repeatedly been found to be completely clean. His disappointing form this year is down to not being that good a player, nothing else. No offence, Patrick."

Meanwhile also, as rosters expanded, Paulie Beane called up relievers Juan Gonzalez, recently arrived in the Sonny Gray trade, and Ronald Smith (26/L/3.5*, drafted 2020 rd 4 by Seattle) for bullpen depth. Centre fielder Jim Thompson was recalled to the roster as additional outfield backup. Young speedster shortstop Byung-ho So (21/S/1*, drafted 2021 rd 1 by Detroit) was brought up as a pinch running threat; he certainly won't be a threat to opposing pitching.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
16 September 2025
Oakland's wildcard hopes take a knock as Reetz is ruled out for the season
By Ace Running, base running correspondent

The A's have been in terrific form so far in September. They have won 8 of their last 9 games to sit 79-64. They have no hope of catching the runaway American League West leaders, the 95-49 Rangers. But they now narrowly lead the incredibly tight wildcard race, where just one game separates them, Houston and Boston, who have now been overtaken in the AL East by Toronto.

However, their hopes of securing one of the two wildcard spots took a blow last night when starting catcher Jakson Reetz picked up an injury. The delicate flower was hurt running the bases in yesterday's vital 11-3 victory over Houston, and physio Walter Proofplasters diagnosed him with a strained medial collateral ligament, whatever on earth that means. Reetz will now miss the rest of the season.

Field manager Phil D'Manager will now rely on hitherto underwhelming backup catcher Luis Torrens to step into Reetz's boots. Torrens is sound behind the plate and has talent with the bat, but can he produce? Whether he does or not will probably determine whether he has a future at the Coliseum beyond this season, as there were rumours that GM Paulie Beane explored potential trades for him before the deadline. Taking the backup catcher spot on the roster will be prospect Dylan Johnston (24/S/1*, drafted 2018 supp rd 1 by Miami), who joined Oakland from the Marlins in the same trade as Karl Dickson. Johnston is only average behind the plate but potentially productive on offense if he is needed.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
22 September 2025
A's shrug off injury blows to hunt down wildcard
By Will Theyblowit, late season collapses correspondent

Can Oakland hold their nerve? That's the question everyone's asking. Ok, not everyone, exactly, but people with an interest in baseball and who support the A's and who ask themselves hypothetical questions in their spare time. The A's have been apparently unfazed by the injury loss of catcher Jakson Reetz, as yesterday's 7-1 win over Cleveland completed a 5-2 week, which included a 2-1 series win over wildcard rivals Houston and Bill Williams's wonderful 2-hit shutout.

Oakland have now gone 12-3 over the last 15 games and sit at 83-66. The American League West division title is out of reach; the 99-51 Texas Rangers have already clinched, securing their sixth division pennant in the last nine years. But, with just thirteen games to go, the A's sit in the first wildcard place and have a 5.5 game lead over the 77-71 Tampa Bay Rays, who are third in the race.

No-one associated with the club is taking anything for granted and getting carried away just yet, however. A's fan spokesperson O. Clandmad said yesterday, "We had the division title effectively won last year and yet somehow contrived to throw it away in the final week". He added confidently, "So there is still time for it to all go horribly wrong. I'll only believe we've won a wildcard spot when the league standings show us with an x, y, z or whatever it is alongside our name that denotes wildcard qualification. I can never remember which one. In the meantime I'll be busy fearing the worst."

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
2 October 2025
Oakland clinch wildcard spot with four games to go
By Miss E. Onaccomplished, good achievements correspondent

GM Paulie Beane last night reflected on a job well done as his Oakland A's side clinched a wildcard berth. Despite losing to the Texas Rangers (again) 8-6 yesterday, Houston's defeat to the LA Angels at the same time meant that, with four games to go, the 88-70 A's cannot be ousted from their fourth wildcard appearance of Beane's reign. They won the World Series last year from a wildcard spot, so if they can negotiate the random game, fans will see the historic three-peat as eminently possible.

The big question now is, who will Beane choose as starting pitcher for the big game? Let's review the options. Jose Fernandez's travails this season are well known, but he has pitched excellently in his last few starts, including throwing 8 innings for no earned runs in the second game of the Texas series. Denny Miller has been the reverse. He's been excellent this season overall, but has suffered in recent starts. Rodney Stewart can be lethal on his day but has been inconsistent; he is surely too big a risk for a one-off winner-takes-all showdown. Bill Williams and Karl Dickson have been superb over the second half but are young to throw into such a pressure game. The smart money says Beane will go with Fernandez, his most trusted lieutenant. Fernandez is currently scheduled to pitch the last game of he season; if he doesn't, then we'll know.

Beane's attitude towards the wildcard game is well known to be absolutely, entirely, utterly dependent on whether or not his team wins it. Whisky vendors in the city are widely believed to be rooting for the A's to lose it.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
6 October 2025
A's to face Rays in American League wildcard game
By Tam Perbay, Florida correspondent

Oakland concluded their season with a disappointing 7-1 defeat by the Seattle Mariners to finish the regular season with a 90-72 record, identical to last year. They will now face Tampa Bay in the wildcard fixture. In an exciting finale, Tampa entered the final round of games tied with Houston, but progressed thanks to their win over Boston, while the Astros suffered a late defeat to Texas. If they beat the Rays, Oakland will face the dangerous Minnesota Twins, who finished 101-61 to earn a remarkable sixth consecutive American League Central crown.

Confirming that ace pitcher Jose Fernandez will take the mound in the vital game, general manager Paulie Beane instructed field manager Phil D'Manager to start with Denny Miller in the Seattle game. Beane said he also wanted to take a look at Miller after his recent poor outings, and he didn't fail to disappoint, coming out after allowing 7 earned runs from 4.1 innings. He now seems likely to pitch out of the bullpen if the A's progress to the divisional series.

Beane also announced his 25-man active roster for the game. September call-ups reliever Ronald Smith, shortstop Byung-ho So and outfielder Jim Thompson all return to the minor league roster. Reliever Juan Gonzalez, however, will retain his bullpen spot after throwing 6.1 innings for 2 hits and no runs in 5 starts, while perpetual underachiever Johnny Jackson and his horrible 6.19 ERA are demoted.

The final playoff picture is as follows.

American League
AL East winners: Toronto (88-74)
AL Central winners: Minnesota (101-61)
AL West winners: Texas (101-61)
Wild cards: Oakland (90-72), Tampa Bay (87-75)

National League
NL East winners: Atlanta (93-69)
NL Central winners: Milwaukee (92-70)
NL West winners: San Francisco (96-66)
Wild cards: LA Dodgers (91-71), Philadelphia (89-73)

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
8 October 2025
Oakland win 15-inning wildcard thriller
By Neil Biter, tense playoff games correspondent

As GM Paulie Beane sat down in front of the waiting reporters at the post-match press conference, he eyed up the small glass of colourless liquid that had been placed on the table in front of him. He put his nose to the rim of the glass and took a deep sniff, then let out a quiet breath. "Vodka tonight, boys. A double", he said, and in one swift motion grabbed the glass, cocked back his head, and downed it in one. "My nerves are too shredded for a mere whisky." Beane didn't even see the game. He never watches the games. He doesn't go to the players' gym and work out, that's far too much like hard work. He sits in his office deep in the bowels of the stadium playing OOTP and smoking cigars.

Everyone else gathered in the Coliseum last night witnessed an absolute classic. Fully justifying his general manager's faith in him, superstar Jose Fernandez was in peerless form. As the Oakland lineup put 3 runs on the board early to take command of the game, Fernandez was literally unhittable and took a no-hitter into the 7th inning. No-one thought much of it when Tampa finally got a hit and a run in the 7th, but the home fans' tension started to rise when they added another in the 8th after an error by third baseman Patrick Snel, making it 3-2 A's.

Field manager Phil D'Manager either had a brain freeze or decided to sabotage his forthcoming contract extension negotiations with Beane after the season, by throwing in rookie reliever Roy Ellis for the ninth inning, rather than established closer Eric Wright. Some spectators in the crowd thought they heard from the general direction of the stadium offices the sound of furniture and IT equipment being destroyed as Ellis gave up the tying run, and the game was headed for extra innings.

Five incredibly tense, or incredibly boring if you don't support either team, scoreless innings followed. Then, in the 15th, Oakland's season looked over when reliever Melvi Salazar gave up an RBI single. But the drama wasn't done on this remarkable night. Martin Wilson's sacrifice fly tied it up, and then club stalwart Franklin Barreto singled home the winning run to complete an incredible 5-4 win.

Beane said, "It would be an understatement to say I disagreed with some of D'Manager's decisions tonight, but we won the game. Phil and I have a terrific working relationship with no cracks whatsoever, no sirree. None at all. None. Honest. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go and order some new tables, chairs and computers for my office."

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
9 October 2025
Snel fesses up about "drug" rumours
By Ted Dibear, cuddly toys correspondent

One day on from Oakland's wildcard victory, third baseman Patrick Snel faced the media and confessed the truth about the drug smuggling rumours that have appeared in tabloid newspapers in recent months. Oakland police subsequently confirmed his version of the story. In a shock revelation, it transpires the tabloid rumours were a complete pile of nonsense. The Telegraph thought this all along, of course. Honest we did. Ahem.

Snel admitted that he has a collection of 1000 teddy bears in his apartment. It turns out that when, earlier in the season, he was spotted by paparazzi photographers in the airport arrivals hall hugging a brown teddy bear he had bought for his collection while in the Netherlands on a trip home, he concocted a false story about being caught smuggling drugs inside it, as he thought he would be mercilessly teased if the truth of his teddy bear fetish was revealed. "I've always loved them", he explained, "They're so cuddly wuddly and cute and furry and lovely. My favourite is a little white bear called Erik."

Sitting alongside Snel at the press conference, Oakland GM Paulie Beane said that he had discussed the situation with the third baseman privately, and explained in no uncertain terms that, even as a grown man who should know better, loving teddy bears is infinitely more cool and acceptable than taking drugs. Proven innocent of wrongdoing, Snel will remain with the club and will be on the active roster for the divisional series against Minnesota. He refused to divulge whether this Erik bear thing would be coming with him for good luck.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
13 October 2025
Late comebacks help magnificent A's sweep Twins in American League divisional series
By Nev Ergiveup, comebacks correspondent

Oakland advanced to their fourth consecutive American League championship series after yesterday's 5-4 victory completed a shock 3-0 clean sweep over the hot favourite Minnesota Twins. They will now face the Toronto Blue Jays, who themselves completed a sweep over the Texas Rangers. Both the American League's 100-win teams have been eliminated from the postseason without winning a game between them. Yep, the playoffs are a crapshoot, all right. But the three-peat is still on.

The A's traditionally strong starting pitching seemed to take a leave of absence during the divisional series. Karl Dickson, Rodney Stewart and Jose Fernandez all had difficult outings as Oakland allowed 4 runs in each of the games. But the lineup came to the party, giving their colleagues the run support they needed. The first two games were both won thanks to late comebacks. In the first game, the Twins led 4-2, but Oakland scored 2 runs in the 7th and then what proved to be the winning run in the 8th. In game two, Rodney Stewart dug the team into a 4-1 hole after 6 innings, but 2 runs scored in the 7th then 3 more in the 9th gave the A's an unlikely victory.

General manager Paulie Beane said, "It's fantastic being an MLB Manager. What a great game. And what a turn up for the books. We didn't pitch well at all, but kudos to the batters who have seen us home. Credit too to Phil D'Manager who for once did not seemingly try to throw it away with his bizarre decision-making. That annoying Computer AI software he uses has a lot to answer for. Thank goodness all the other teams use it as well."

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
22 October 2025
Magical A's making the impossible possible
By Hugh Dini, magical performances correspondent

It's on. The three-peat. It's on.

Oakland clinched a fabulous third straight American League championship pennant last night after wrapping up a 4-1 series win over the Toronto Blue Jays. GM Paulie Beane couldn't hide his delight at the superb achievement and congratulated everyone involved at the club. "But let's not rest on our laurels and start celebrating yet. We still have one more series to play", he added.

The series opened with a 19-inning, 6-hour, 1:00am-finishing insomnia-curing game which the A's sneaked 5-4. Toronto struck back by shutting out Oakland 1-0 in game two, but the A's regained the series lead in another narrow victory, 9-8, where they had led 9-2 after just 4 innings but were nearly pegged back. The series went to 3-1 after Denny Miller's excellent 8 scoreless innings in the next match, and Oakland wrapped things up with last night's blowout 10-3 win in Canada.

That victory came at a cost, unfortunately. First baseman and club legend Matt Olson was ejected in the ninth inning after a contre-temps with Blue Jays relief pitcher Carlos Salazar which cleared the benches. Salazar also got his marching orders from the umpire as the melee subsided. After the game, the league commissioner's office issued both players with 8-game suspensions. For Olson, that means he'll miss the entire World Series. "I'm such a plonker", a crestfallen Olson said after the game. "I'm somewhat miffed about the severity of the punishment", GM Paulie Beane didn't quite say.

Better news came after the game for the A's as club physio Walter Proofplasters declared catcher Jakson Reetz fit to play again after his strained medial collateral thingy whatsit, and he will take Dylan Johnston's roster space for the World Series. Forgotten long-term injury victim Ambrose Bailey was also eligible to come off the disabled list, but Beane will not throw him into such an important postseason series after so long out on the sidelines. Bailey goes down to the minor league roster temporarily but will be back for next season.

Oakland now face surprise package Milwaukee in the World Series, after the Brewers smashed the reigning National League champions San Francisco 4-0 in the championship series. In the process they scored a remarkable 44 runs. Milwaukee show just what a great game baseball is. They have been utter tripe for a decade; their NL Central title this year is their first since Beane took the helm at Oakland in 2015. They don't frankly have that great a team this year either, but led by home run king and left fielder Eddie Williams and this season's MLB save leader Corey Knebel, they are tough to beat.

Oakland's fans are facing the odd sensation of entering a postseason series as favourites rather than the underdogs. It is giving them the heebie jeebies.

[Paulie123]

The Oakland Telegraph
30 October 2025
THREE-PEAT! THREE-PEAT! THREE-PEAT! Oakland A's enter fictional baseball folklore with historic third consecutive World Series title
By O. Yes, celebrations correspondent

General manager Paulie Beane was already waiting in the press room after the game as the reporters filed in. Over 30 glasses of whisky were laid out on the microphone table at the head of the room. Beane handed out a glass to every reporter present, leaving about 9 or 10 remaining on the table as he sat down. "Fan-fricking-tastic, eh!" he cried, and, in an impressive display of speed and coordination, proceeded to down them all in about 15 seconds. "Now you might get an interesting quote or two", he said.

Oakland are world champions for the third straight year. That's a dynasty. On the joint lowest budget in the majors, Beane has created a dynasty. Beane now has four World Series rings, but clearly he still wants more. "There's always a new challenge around the corner at this club", he explained. "Arbitration hearings are coming up in a week or two, and I'm not expecting good news. I already expect to be $10m over budget for next year, given Ambrose Bailey is coming off minimum salary and the likelihood that Alejandro Guzman will too. If those lunatics at the arbitration office decide Karl Dickson is eligible as well, then we will be firmly up a brown-coloured creek and without any paddles. The roster will need to be remade yet again, to become younger and cheaper. That means difficult decisions lie ahead. But that is what makes this job so interesting, and, I'll admit, at times over the years so damn frustrating."

The A's, led by a return to form from Jose Fernandez and supported by quality pitching from the rest of their arms, were victorious over Milwaukee by 4-1, completing a sensational 12-2 postseason record, including the wildcard game. Both occasions they lost it was by only a single run. Like last year, they were not the best team during the regular season, but they came good and were the best when it really mattered.

Led by a great display from Dickson, the A's won the series opener, but the Brewers got on top of Denny Miller in game two and squared the series. Fernandez did what an ace is paid handsomely to do, and was untouchable in the next, as the A's swarmed to a comfortable 6-3 win. Dickson was again impressive as Oakland edged a tight next game to take a commanding 3-1 lead. And they secured their place in the record books as Denny Miller struck back with an excellent display in a narrow 2-1 win. Catcher Jakson Reetz, only just back from injury in time for the series, hit the decisive winning run, a clutch 2-out solo bomb in the 6th.

It seems Paulie Beane has mastered the art of winning an unfair game.

[Paulie123]

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