Yet Another OOTP6 Dynasty, Year 2: One Flew Over the Pale Hose

[cknox0723]

Thanks y'all. Always good to see some Pale Hose fans, some Wilco fans, and some asskiss haters. Like carbolic acids and bicarbonates, a perfect mixture. Here's the first post with some numb3rs, so the statheads should come out in full force.

"Trawling", Billy Beane called it in Moneyball. It's his approach to the trade market. An attempt at human alchemy, trying to turn lead into gold, or Carlos Pena into a starting right fielder, a relief ace, and 11.5 compensation draft picks. Finding value inside the cracks, crevices and recesses of moss-covered rocks, dark caves, and baseball offices in Kansas City, Missouri. It may not work all the time, but the one time out of fifty that it does, it's worth it.

There's no way to "trawl" in the trade market when your biggest trade chit is Julio Lugo, with a .598 OPS, or Ryan Sweeney, an A-ball stud with a .350 slugging percentage. So I've adopted trawling as my approach to free agency. Give me your undervalued, your weak, your injury prone, and your .220 hitters. Occasionally it works. Dmitri Young. Brian Buchanan. Sometimes it doesn't. Ask Brad Fullmer about that. And then you have the Piazza level of catastrophe. Best to just shake your head at that and move on.

With Mark Buehrle's monstrous $50 million extension and a healthy bump to Akinori Otsuka's salary through arbitration, we'll have to hope my trawling skills are at their finest. We've got to replace this:

PLAYER		AB	AVG	OBP	SLG
J. Lugo		592	.225	.277	.321
D. Young	581	.310	.360	.448
J. Crede	392	.235	.274	.388
J. Borchard	380	.213	.263	.353
B. Fullmer	304	.234	.316	.388
B. Buchanan	115	.270	.366	.496

And this:

PLAYER		IP	ERA	HR	BB	K
J. Garland	197.1	3.60	22	95	118

With about five million of these:

http://www.libb.com/public_html/images/money_bag.jpg

Now, sure, that's enough money to get us a shortstop, third baseman, and center fielder that hit as much as Hacktastic Julio Lugo, The Festering Cesspool of Joe Crede, and Joe "Beet Soup" Borchard and, heck, even after that, there still might even be enough to replace Jon Garland, who wasn't really anywhere near as valuable as his numbers would suggest.

But consider that we've also got one catcher in the entire system, and a 38 year old first baseman. And we return our second and third starters, but this is not necessarily ideal, as they combined for 35 losses last year.

$50 million couldn't buy us a championship, and we certainly don't have that.

But y'think that if I pretended to be from Oakland, there's any chance Allard Baird will take $5 million for his entire roster?

[gordyhulten]

Really looking forward to your offseason moves, Craig.

[CBLCardinals]

As others have noted, looking forward to the WILD RIDE in '07 Craig!!

[BadluckinOOTP]

How much did Buchanan want, or did he just not want to resign?

[The Funk]

I smell new nicknames on the horizon.

EDIT: And you just know you're gonna get beaten out of the playoffs by a hacktastic walk-off home run.

[jaykno14]

I would like to read the first dynasty thread but i don't know if i have enough time to read 37 pages!

[The Funk]

Originally Posted by jaykno14

I would like to read the first dynasty thread but i don't know if i have enough time to read 37 pages!

http://www.ootpdevelopments.com/boar...ad.php?t=75597 could help you get up to speed a little.

[cknox0723]

Originally Posted by BadluckinOOTP

How much did Buchanan want, or did he just not want to resign?

"I want to play for a winner, not Chicago (A)."

Originally Posted by jaykno14

I would like to read the first dynasty thread but i don't know if i have enough time to read 37 pages!

Only 20 pages on the 40-posts-per-page view!

Originally Posted by The Funk

EDIT: And you just know you're gonna get beaten out of the playoffs by a hacktastic walk-off home run.

If that happens, I'd buy OOTP7 just to send him to the Icelandic Winter League and sabotage his freaking career.

Thanks as always for all of the comments.

[cknox0723]

After working around three or four errors, CatoBase is finally generating the HTML pages! Expect loads and loads of Win Shares tomorrow.

EDIT: Or, uh, not. I guess this is at least part of the ramifications of that weird deleted players problem I had.

[canadiancreed]

"I want to play for a winner, not Chicago (A)."

He hasnt realized that winning teams dont need him hmm?

[messenjah]

Is there any way to format a thread so that only cknox's threads are seen. That way it will make it easier to skim through what has gone on without seeing everyone else's comments. (No offense everyone else).

By the way, this is the most long lasting and fun thread I've seen so far on this dynasty forum.

[cknox0723]

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. But an 1880's style merger probably wouldn't fly, so we'll have to settle for signing all of their good former players. "Their", in this case, is the team that jumped 13 games ahead of us, the Kansas City Royals. Allard Baird may not take $5 million for his entire roster, but former Royal moundsmen Miguel Batista and Jeremy Affeldt might take a few million to play for our squad this year. The big name pitchers, specifically 20-game winners Barry Zito and Joel Pineiro, are way out of our league (not to mention they don't want to come here), so our best hope is to woo the second, third, and fourth-tier guys. That group also includes former Tiger Eric Munson, a left-handed journeyman who's swatted 55, 45, and 58 big flies in AAA the last three seasons. With any luck, he'll man the hot corner for us next year, and for slave wages. D'Angelo Jimenez, he of the 2006 OBP of .402, is also a possibility, though that sparkling rate was only in 169 at-bats and he's not nearly that good. He's still better than Joe Crede or Julio Lugo, though. Another former Red, Sean Casey, would make a nice platoon partner for Frank Thomas.

And perhaps we'll bring back an old friend or two, as well. Dmitri Young, Brian Buchanan, and Jon Garland would all be welcome back in one capacity or another if the price is right. That seems to be the key, though, and the common denominator to all of these deals. Every deal comes with the caveat "if the price is right." I've got half a mind to just say "Screw it", to either stop dickering around with the free agent market entirely or to really do something. Sign Brian Giles, or Ryan Klesko, or someone.

But no one worth a whit wants to come to Chicago, and I can't say I blame them. I mean, would you really want to play in baseball's version of a cuckoo's nest?

[Carlton]

woohoo!

Trade for Glanville...Trade for Glanville!!

Stories of suckiness for 1/3rd of the season...but

He's Clutch

[cknox0723]

Bingbong's revenge in Chicago? I suppose I will give it a shot!

It appears that our biggest free-agent signing will be Jon Garland, but at this exact moment, it's Jeffrey Hammonds, as the 13-year veteran was apparently so eager for a major league contract that barely had our people uttered "one year, minmum wage" before Hammonds swooned, fell off the deep end, and jumped all over us like a lovesick, necking teenager. Although that's just a bit too kinky for my tastes, I can't say I'm displeased. I know Jeffrey Hammonds isn't exactly a name that oozes out confidence, talent, or even the potential for a witty nickname, but he's been a consistent .280 hitter in part-time play over the last three seasons, has a bit of power, and can handle all three outfield positions well enough. But slap me if I start him in left on opening day.

More mildly interesting news, apropos for a mildly interesting team. Seattle, having lost Bret Boone and lacking a suitable replacement, has come calling for...wait for it...Juan Uribe.

Yeah, I didn't understand, at first, either. But he's probably better than Jose Lopez, who hit .248 at AA last year. That's dicey, though. Could go either way,

But here's the kicker: they're willing to give us a real, live ballplayer for him! Ain't that a sweet deal? And get this -- this fellow can even play two positions! And he has two arms and two legs! Needless to say, I can't sign the dotted line fast enough. It's only after I do that I actually find out who we're getting.

Shea Hillenbrand.



I can just picture a group of statheads, wearing long beards and tall hats and eerily resembling a bunch of Amish men, surrounding my building holding pitchforks and burning torches. Scarcely have I stepped outside before I'm suddenly tied up and gagged, probably with a spreadsheet. To cries of "Burn the heathen!", I'm kidnapped and taken back to the Secret Stathead Headquarters in Lawrence, Kansas, drugged and forced to listen to Rob Dibble's "commentary" for hours on end until finally I admit that Shea Hillenbrand is a piece of dung and should be bagging groceries at the local Food Lion.

So, like Paul DePodesta, I back out of this little swap at the twenty-fifth hour, citing how the evil Starbucks company is bringing down our bolde nayshun. After a long nap and a meeting with the singing trout Clark McTaggart, I call Seattle GM Bill Bavasi back up with a new deal in mind.

Uribe and 23 year old southpaw Jay Marshall for Hillenbrand. Why?

Well, if statheads only know two things, and one of them is that Shea Hillenbrand is a toady wanker, the other is that There Is No Such Thing As A Pitching Prospect. So I figure that at least I've covered one of my bases.

[canadiancreed]

wow this shows how little I know of the modern player. I have no idea who Hillenbrand or Hammonds are or if they're as sucky as they seem

I'm out of the loop

[seth70liz76]

Hammonds is a pretty good hitter--when healthy. And he hasn't been healthy since Bush I.

[DAL 9000]

Originally Posted by seth70liz76

Hammonds is a pretty good hitter--when healthy. And he hasn't been healthy since Bush I.

There was a great line about Hammonds over at Baseball Primer back a year or two ago--something like, "Ah yes, Jeffrey Hammonds. What a magnificent player he was in A.D. 93, effortlessly running down flyballs from gap to gap upon the Appian Way, flanked by up-and-comers Nerva and Trajan, leading off and setting the table for the emperor Domitian. Good times, good times."

[The Funk]

Originally Posted by cknox0723

I can just picture a group of statheads, wearing long beards and tall hats and eerily resembling a bunch of Amish men, surrounding my building holding pitchforks and burning torches. Scarcely have I stepped outside before I'm suddenly tied up and gagged, probably with a spreadsheet.

Excellent! Great line! Oh, and if Hammonds is as kinky as you say he is, maybe you should call him; The Organ (geddit? No, I suck.) At any rate, don't worry about the big names rejecting you, they did the same thing last year and we all know who had the last laugh then! Actually, disregard that, but I am extremely confident in your abilitiy to pick up some bargains. Go geddem tiger.

[cknox0723]

Let us see...let us see...

creed, Seth summed up Mr. Hammonds pretty well, and a post in another forum by Luis_Rivera (and no, we didn't sign him, too!) covers just about all you need to know about Hillenbrand.

Originally Posted by Luis_Rivera

3B Shea Hillenbrand: One of the most overrated players in Boston when he was here. When he was dealt for Kim he proceeded to call Theo Epstein a "faggot" and then proclaim that OBP "doesn't matter unless you hit leadoff." What a dink.

He's the perfect fit!

Thanks for all of the comments -- particularly the Funkman, who cracked me up with:

Originally Posted by The Funk

At any rate, don't worry about the big names rejecting you, they did the same thing last year and we all know who had the last laugh then!

Yeah, yeah. Somewhere in my unconscious, I'm rooting for 65 wins, too, but we'll plod on either way. And with that...

[BadluckinOOTP]

trade 4 puljos hes the best in the MLB!