Portland Raccoons (ABL)

[Questdog]

Originally Posted by Westheim

The Williams trade saves only about $270k; the Fowler trade more than ten times that.

The good news is that the jet skis were not that expensive, and most of the savings can be put towards a player or two.

Here is a hint for people paying attention. The guy the Raccoons are after rhymes with "remain".

Pee stain?

[Bub13]

Originally Posted by Questdog

Pee stain?

[Westheim]

None of you guessed correctly, I am relieved to say!

+++

December 21 – The Miners get ex-CIN CL Andy Hyden (41-41, 2.94 ERA, 295 SV), who is 31, on a 1-yr, $2.16M deal.
December 23 – The Gold Sox sign former Knights SP Armando Zaragoza (84-82, 4.57 ERA) to a 1-yt, $1.62M contract.
December 24 – Another former Knight signs, as LF/RF Roy Pincus (.273, 214 HR, 812 RBI), the reigning CL home run champion, joins the Pacifics for 2-yr, $6.72M.
December 26 – The Capitals snatch former Warriors starter Francisco Colmenarez (127-109, 3.47 ERA). The 32-year-old lefty fetches $16.32M over four years at auction.
January 5 – The Raccoons fortify their bullpen with the addition of ex-LAP CL Jermaine Campbell (34-40, 2.70 ERA, 294 SV), who signs a 4-yr, $10.4M contract. The Raccoons forfeit their 2038 first-round pick to the Pacifics.
January 9 – The Thunder sign SP/MR Nate Ward (30-29, 4.55 ERA, 16 SV), most recently with the Raccoons, to a 3-yr, $2.49M contract.
January 10 – The Pacifics also get 35-year-old ex-POR C Fernando Garcia (.263, 93 HR, 428 RBI) on a 1-yr, $1.5M contract.
January 11 – The prime free agent of the winter finds a new home, with ex-IND 2B Dan Schneller (.284, 137 HR, 606 RBI) inking a 7-yr, $32.48M contract with the Bayhawks.
January 14 – The Wolves reunite with SP Jong-hoo Cho (117-105, 4.04 ERA, 6 SV), who already pitched for them from 2033 through 2035, for 2-yr, $5.52M. Cho was most recently with the Stars.
January 19 – The Miners get the services of ex-LAP LF/RF Tom Dunlap (.297, 121 HR, 653 RBI) for two years. The 35-year-old signs a contract worth $3.78M.
January 23 – Nashville buys into ex-NYC SP Geoff Whitehouse (111-91, 3.65 ERA) for 2-yr, $8.32M.

+++

For their loss of Schneller, the Indians get the Bayhawks’ #19 pick. The Raccoons sent the #23 pick to L.A., and since we had no compensation picks to begin with, we’re going to have a rather shallow draft this June.

Last year for Campbell is a team option. He’s the new closer, with Soung dropping after his blinding rookie season in ’36. Campbell robbed all our hopes when he saved 249 games for the Titans from 2030 through 2036, now he can rob everybody else’s hopes. There is no hitting his curve if it’s not hung, and it’s not hung often. That might give us the best bullpen in the league, armoring up a good, but not great starting rotation.

Since the lineup has top 3 potential if Maldonado and Morales hit at all and we don’t get a rash of broken necks like in ’36, I foresee great things for this team!

The Raccoons also signed 28-yr old southpaw starter Jon Hass to a $300k contract, although he was assigned to AAA right away. Hass was the 2030 Nick Brown Memorial Pick but was released three years ago. He hung around other people’s AAA squads for a while and might be useful as injury depth after trading Bob Thomson away. First pick would be Gene Tennis, though. (And let’s not forget Steve Fidler, either).

Since there was some money left over at this stage, the Raccoons also signed two more peanuts deals with outfielders as depth in AAA, where we had run short of outfielders. Neither Scott Daiker nor Alex “Fish” Castro had ever played in the majors; they’d be paid $300k-ish each for not playing in the majors some more. These transactions filled the 40-man roster to the brim.

Other ex-Coons? Derek Barker signed with the Warriors for $1.2M; Toby Ross joined the Wolves for $352k;

+++

2038 HALL OF FAME VOTING RESULTS

The Hall of Fame had another first-ballot addition this year, the only inductee being Bayhawks outfielder Dave “Mad Dog” Garcia, and the 2011 international signing out of Venezuela was a bit of miracle, given that even despite suffering repeated injuries even in his younger years he always fought himself back and excelled whenever he could make it onto the field, carving out a 19-year career during which he made a qualifying number of plate appearances only 11 times. He nevertheless won a batting title, two Player of the Year honors (2017, 2018), a Gold Glove, and was an All Star 10 times. He never won a World Series, spending his career with the Bayhawks, Thunder, and Cyclones, none of which made it very far into the postseason with him, leaving a career with a .287/.353/.478 slash line, 338 HR, and 1,320 RBI uncrowned.

Full results:
SFB CF Dave Garcia – 1st – 88.7 – INDUCTED
LAP C Errol Spears – 6th – 68.2
SFW SS Jamie Wilson – 3rd – 61.7
??? SP Chris Klein – 4th – 59.1
CIN 3B Eddie Moreno – 3rd – 39.8
??? CL Jarrod Morrison – 6th – 24.5
TOP CL Mike Baker – 1st – 18.2
??? SP Ernest Green – 5th – 10.9
??? SP Ian Van Meter – 6th – 7.7
MIL CF Ian Coleman – 1st – 7.3
OCT 2B Emilio Farias – 5th – 6.9
NAS C Pat Walston – 7th – 6.9
CHA 2B Matt Good – 2nd – 6.6
MIL SP Ian Prevost – 1st – 5.1
??? CL Ben Mark – 4th – 2.9 – DROPPED
BOS SP Jeremy Waite – 1st – 2.6 – DROPPED
LVA SS Andres Medina – 1st – 2.2 – DROPPED
ATL SP Leon Hernandez – 1st – 1.8 – DROPPED
??? 1B Mike Rucker – 2nd – 1.8 – DROPPED
??? SP Tom Shumway – 1st – 1.1 – DROPPED
MIL RF Brad Gore – 1st – 0.7 – DROPPED
??? MR Jose Fuentes – 1st – 0.4 – DROPPED
DAL SS Manny Ferrer – 1st – 0.4 – DROPPED
TIJ SP Jose Menendez – 1st – 0.4 – DROPPED
SAC SS Trey Rock – 1st – 0.0 – DROPPED

[Westheim]

With that, the lean part of the baseball-less time approached, the pre-season in which nothing good ever happened. There was one type A free agent still left over (Joe West), but apart from that the free agent market was largely picked thin. No, it was the time for stupid stories, like who had broken his vertebrae skiing on black slopes, who had lost all their salary investing into some creative hairdresser’s Ponzi scheme, and who was going to quit baseball to preach the evangelion on the Moluccas going forward? The less you heard about your favorite baseball team in February, the better!

We actually poked around for another right-handed relief option in March, but the pitcher in question, an FL veteran, didn’t sign until the end of pre-season.

+++

February 2 – The Crusaders ink SP Matt Brost (105-74, 3.45 ERA) for 2-yr, $5.84M. The 36-year-old righty was most recently with Boston.
February 3 – Indianapolis adds ex-OCT SP Joe Robinson (72-58, 4.11 ERA) on a 4-yr, $13.68M contract.
February 6 – Done: Blue Sox outfielder Cesar Talabera (.323, 3 HR, 119 RBI) has to retire from baseball at age 26 after re-smashing the same ankle he already broke in the FLCS. We hear he was skiing. In three years in the Bigs, he was an All Star once and won a ring in 2037.
February 12 – Not. Done. Yet. – Due to turn 44 in May, RF Pablo Sanchez (.340, 162 HR, 1,651 RBI) signs a $1.55M contract with the Knights. Sanchez batted for an .888 OPS in ’37, missing a qualifying amount of plate appearance just narrowly.
April 1 – No joke; veteran right-hander SP Pat Okrasinski (128-129, 3.80 ERA, 1 SV) gets a 2-yr, $3.96M contract from the Miners. The 38-year-old was most recently with Salem.

+++

We don’t feel too bad about Talabera’s misfortunes. One, his team beat us. And two, Cristiano tells me the newest generation of prosthetic limbs has integrated wi-fi, smart speakers and Bluetooth, and you can call a Driver, order from Nom!, livestream games from your FunBox at home, or upload stories to Gobble wherever you go with them. I understood not a single word in that last sentence, and I will now call my psychiatrist, Dr. Zwiebelkopf, for an evaluation on whether I am insane or everybody else in here! (sits down and starts to dial on his antique rotary phone)

And former Raccoons? Rin Nomura joined the Wolves for $402k; Bob Zeltser went back to the Blue Sox for $1.46M; the Bayhawks got Juan Camps for $452k;

(still dialing)

[Westheim]

2038 PORTLAND RACCOONS – Opening Day Roster (first set in parenthesis shows 2037 stats, second set career stats; players with an * are off season acquisitions):

SP Bernie Chavez, 29, B:R, T:R (13-10, 3.38 ERA | 71-55, 3.58 ERA) – 94mph, curve, slider, and the tendency to hang something from time to time; by now you know full well what to expect of Bernie Chavez, an ERA somewhere near three, 50 walks, 160 strikeouts, and 20+ balls disappearing into a sea of reaching arms.
SP Bryce Sparkes, 30, B:R, T:R (14-9, 2.99 ERA | 64-58, 3.69 ERA) – the potential Mark Roberts clone had his best season in his first year in Portland and was rewarded with a 4-year deal afterwards. Didn’t even lead the league in homers!
SP Josh Weeks, 35, B:L, T:L (10-6, 3.58 ERA | 126-129, 3.85 ERA, 2 SV) – doesn’t create a lot of traffic on the bases, steady control pitcher. Missed chunks of the season but looks like he could hold up to serve out the two years remaining on his contract.
SP Jared Ottinger, 25, B:R, T:R (11-11, 3.62 ERA | 18-18, 3.81 ERA) – we’re still trying to figure “Ottie” out, to be honest. Sometimes he’s great, sometimes he’s got no control over anything he throws and gets whacked around like he’s in a cartoon. Lack of stuff also hurts him with only a 5.8 K/9 mark in his first full season in the majors.
SP Raffaello Sabre, 29, B:L, T:R (11-8, 4.08 ERA | 60-58, 3.78 ERA) – he won’t ever win a strikeout crown, and by now we’re entirely content with having Sabre being a steady bee working away at the opposition and with a little help from his defense he can be a very good pitcher; and then there’s times where he just can’t get anybody out, like more or less all of last September…

MR Travis Sims, 25, B:R, T:R (3-2, 3.52 ERA | 4-2, 3.61 ERA) – fastball, splitter; really mostly a long man due to major control issues that might see him replaced if trouble arises – 27 walks in 46 innings are not something you can run around with on a hopefully first-place team.
MR Dennis Citriniti, 29, B:R, T:R (4-0, 1.32 ERA, 1 SV | 6-0, 2.34 ERA, 1 SV) – run-of-the-mill right-hander that walked 6.5 batter per nine innings in ’36, then put up an All Star closer’s ERA in ’37 after taking over the roster spot of the released Dusty Kulp. After indicating he’d never reach 100 major league innings with the Raccoons he’s now only 95 outs away from that, and firmly under team control.
MR David Fernandez, 31, B:L, T:L (3-1, 3.88 ERA | 26-15, 2.89 ERA, 8 SV) – for getting no love from scouts, Fernandez is a remarkably solid reliever that strikes out roughly a batter per inning and can handle both left- and right-handed batters well. The walks are a bit of a problem, but, eh, lefties, huh?
MR Mauricio Garavito, 36, B:L, T:L (2-1, 3.68 ERA, 1 SV | 33-30, 3.17 ERA, 14 SV) – left-hander with balanced splits that was claimed off waivers by the Bayhawks early in the 2029 season when Jeremy Moesker turned out to be a turd. Has it really been this long?? Is in a contract year once more and we’ll see whether there’s enough left in him to keep him around after that.
SU Antonio Prieto, 27, B:R, T:R (3-2, 2.29 ERA, 4 SV | 13-11, 3.10 ERA, 4 SV) – his strikeouts were down, but so were the ERA and the homers allowed; barely five years into his career, Prieto is becoming a very reliable reliever!
SU Yeom Soung, 33, B:L, T:L (5-7, 3.46 ERA, 37 SV | 7-9, 1.96 ERA, 64 SV) – the established star from Korea, “The Warden”, came, saw, and locked opposing batters up in eighth, then ninth innings in his maiden ABL season, winning Rookie of the Year honors quite handily. That was 2036. In ’37 he was prone to blow-ups just like every closer we’ve ever taken on past Grant West. The Raccoons went out and got a new closer this time.
CL Jermaine Campbell *, 32, B:L, T:R (4-8, 2.24 ERA, 40 SV | 34-40, 2.70 ERA, 294 SV) – established closer snatched on a 4-year deal, and also once the guy that slammed the door shut whenever we trailed the Titans in the ninth. 254 of his saves came with them, only 40 with the Pacifics, for whom he played last season. Elite stuff, strong control, and he knows how to win rings, having two of them.

C Tony Morales, 23, B:L, T:R (.269, 8 HR, 50 RBI | .270, 22 HR, 148 RBI) – keeps turning in just slightly above average seasons, and whenever he looks like he’s about to break out, he gets hurt. Has yet to break out, or not get hurt.
C Jeff Kilmer, 26, B:R, T:R (.195, 3 HR, 11 RBI | .229, 7 HR, 38 RBI) – now here was a kid that was coming off a horrible, no-good, terrible, dismal season, most of which had been spent in St. Petersburg after an early demotion. He was back now because the Raccoons refused to pay for his replacement going forwards, and because there was still that .217 BABIP that had taken all the oxygen away from Kilmer in ’37 and nobody could be this unlucky twice.

1B/RF/3B/LF Jesse Stedham, 31, B:L, T:R (.239, 14 HR, 67 RBI | .271, 92 HR, 487 RBI) – shed about 50 points of batting average in his first year in Portland, but won a Gold Glove, which is not the first time that has happened…
2B/3B/SS Enrique Trevino, 30, B:S, T:R (.312, 6 HR, 43 RBI | .322, 35 HR, 683 RBI) – the magical second baseman will try to stay injury free in ’38, because every day of him sitting on the DL costs a family van, and I can’t take paying for that. Solid defender, great on base presence and ideally suited for the #2 hole if either Berto or Myers can get on base ahead of him. Took his fourth straight and seventh overall stolen base title last season, and of course the first with Portland. Him and Ramos have 1,132 sacks between them (split almost evenly), and both have significant injury histories.
3B/SS Dave Myers, 32, B:R, T:R (.275, 8 HR, 50 RBI | .283, 49 HR, 425 RBI) – New at short, the old third baseman. Also sat out some on the DL, but who didn’t. Not the greatest defensive shortstop, but he was sure beating Berto in terms of range at this point.
3B Alberto Ramos, 32, B:L, T:R (.270, 0 HR, 46 RBI | .305, 20 HR, 498 RBI) – The story of the offseason was that the Raccoons’ new third baseman was going to be Berto after 13 seasons at short (or on the DL), with diminishing range rendering him mostly useless on defense and we hope that we can “hide” him at third base in his contract season, and who knows what happens after that. Lost the stolen base title to Cosmo Trevino mostly because he spent more time on the DL in ’37…
2B Rich Vickers, 28, B:R, T:R (.240, 4 HR, 28 RBI | .268, 20 HR, 143 RBI) – Vickers remains mostly redundant on the roster, but there’s nothing we can do about that right now…
2B/SS/3B Elijah Williams *, 32, B:R, T:R (.236, 3 HR, 48 RBI | .261, 17 HR, 393 RBI) – versatile infielder and quirky veteran with great defensive capabilities and a matching defensive shortstop’s bat. Was picked up from the Cyclones to shore up the defense on the left side of the infield, being the designated defensive replacement for Berto, who has never played at third base before.

RF/LF/CF Manny Fernandez, 28, B:L, T:L (.287, 21 HR, 99 RBI | .291, 65 HR, 373 RBI) – as close to a 5-tool player as the Raccoons could ever find, especially in a draft. There was no Player of the Year award in for Manny this time, but he was the CLCS MVP, which counted for something. Hit more homers than in his MVP campaign but dropped 40 points of average, which is never good. Is probably really closer to a .290 batter than a .330 batter looking at his career numbers, but if he does *that* and keeps picking up Platinum Sticks while being a borderline Gold Glover, we can’t be mad either.
CF/RF/3B/SS/LF/1B Jesus Maldonado, 24, B:R, T:R (.235, 6 HR, 38 RBI | .247, 9 HR, 79 RBI) – It’s hard to forget this one: .411/.431/.571 and a World Series MVP award while playing on the losing team. If you can get THAT together, you have to be better than a .235 poker if given the chance for a full season, right? Spent considerable time in AAA again last year for simply not hitting, then came up after mounting injuries and still didn’t hit anything. Then that World Series, where he only started because of Myers being out. We even traded Justin Fowler (who had turned into a defensive black hole) to get that bat into the lineup every day. Might even be a Gold Glover in centerfield, and has ample speed. If he can hit *anything* he can be a great everyday player.
RF/LF Troy Greenway, 26, B:L, T:L (.305, 25 HR, 67 RBI | .289, 79 HR, 248 RBI) – not outstanding as a defender, but he had a 1+ OPS after being picked up (with a long-term commitment already signed) from the Scorpions halfway through ’37, so he can use a fat person’s shopping scooter out there, we don’t care. Just keep the homers rolling in.
LF/RF/CF Ed Hooge, 28, B:L, T:L (.257, 11 HR, 50 RBI | .263, 28 HR, 149 RBI) – no matter what Ed Hooge does, it’s never enough for a permanent starting assignment, isn’t it? The one time he reached a qualifying number of plate appearances was in 2036, when *everybody* was on the DL. Solid allrounder that doesn’t really excel at any one thing, and so is permanently branded as fourth outfielder.
LF/RF Brad Ledford *, 27, B:L, T:L (.248, 9 HR, 43 RBI | .275, 20 HR, 91 RBI) – also acquired in the Fowler trade with the Capitals, Ledford is mainly a pinch-hitter but can hold his own in the field. He is surely a major improvement over what he carried on the bench last year…

On disabled list: Nobody.

Otherwise unavailable: Nobody.

Other roster movement:
SP Steve Fidler *, 26, B:L, T:R (0-0, 4.09 ERA, 1 SV | 0-0, 4.09 ERA, 1 SV) – optioned to Alley Cats; versatile swingman picked up in the Justin Fowler trade, not that much stuff, and he also only made his debut with the Capitals at 26, which is usually not a sign that he’ll be an All Star going forward.
SP/MR Gene Tennis, 24, B:L, T:L (2-3, 5.00 ERA | 5-5, 4.14 ERA) – optioned to Alley Cats; had his moments, good and bad, across two seasons of 28 appearances, half of them starts. He surely has been left in the dust by Ottie, who debuted around the same time as him 2036, but Ottie also didn’t have to battle his own defense to a .337 BABIP.
1B Chiyosaku Maruyama, 28, B:R, T:R (.235, 0 HR, 0 RBI | .244, 7 HR, 57 RBI) – waived and DFA’ed; disappointment as a batter, having put up zero WAR in over 600 PA. Had only a token September assignment in ’37. Like last year, we don’t particularly care whether anybody takes him.

Everybody not mentioned by now has already been waived or reassigned during the offseason.

OPENING DAY LINEUP:

The lineup is going to be a force, and the bench is much better than it used to be. The batting corps is not composed perfectly, with mostly left-handed outfielders and right-handed infielders, but if that’s your biggest complaint about the personnel, you’re pretty well off.

Vs. RHP: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – 1B Stedham – SS Myers – C Morales – CF Maldonado – P
(Vs. LHP: SS Myers – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Maldonado – 1B Stedham – C Kilmer – 3B Williams – P)

Williams is not going to replace Berto for all games against lefty pitching, especially if there are several southpaws in a row; same for Kilmer.

Maldonado is the only super utility on the team, but should be found in center virtually all the time, although another late-inning defensive solution might be to put him on the left side of the infield with Hooge or Manny moving to centerfield.

OFF SEASON CHANGES:

BNN isn’t enthused about our offseason and we didn’t make that many moves to begin with. Most of it was admittedly addition by subtraction, which is why the Justin Fowler deal yielded little in return for a guy that just hit 33 homers. We got a fifth outfielder and a pitcher that didn’t make the roster, but we traded half of our commitments with no positional ratings away which might be worth more than Brad Ledford can possible bat for this year. There were only two trades and one significant free agent signing that was not for depth; arguably the biggest move (Greenway) had already been made last July.

The Raccoons gained 0.8 WAR, which ranked them ninth in the eye of BNN.

Top 5: Capitals (+9.9), Thunder (+6.2), Stars (+6.0), Pacifics (+5.9), Buffaloes (+4.9)
Bottom 5: Loggers (-4.3), Scorpions (-6.2), Rebels (-8.8), Indians (-10.0), Titans (-11.1)

Three division rivals in the bottom five, including two that were relevant in 2037. For the rest of the division, the Crusaders and the damn Elks were narrowly ahead of us on the BNN table.

PREDICTION TIME:

The prediction was 102 wins and while that didn’t happen because the team took its sweet time to get into a groove, the Raccoons won the division title and came within three runs in Game 7 of their fifth championship.

This year, the defense looks better compared at least to the late part of the season – although the entire starting infield is 30 or older. That will be an issue going forwards and whether Berto gets another deal here will be contingent on him becoming at least serviceable at third base, which is not guaranteed. He’s the last holdout from our previous championships in 2026 and 2028.

Like I said, if Maldonado can hit at all, and if Stedham and Manny and maybe one or two other guys can pick it back up and perform closer to their 2036 level, then the offense could break into the top 3 in the Continental League. The bench is certainly improved by leaps and bounds – no more Steve Nickas, no more Preston Pinkerton! Some depth has been signed for the inevitable injury. Some of that depth has even played in the Bigs before!

The rotation is not great, but really good, and the bullpen can be totally great. No major concerns about this pitching staff, really.

The Raccoons are going to win the division, again, and this time they WILL make it to triple digits! 102 is still on!

A hundred and two!

PLAYER DEVELOPMENT:

Amazingly, the Raccoons keep climbing the farm rankings despite shedding ranked prospects left and right while trying to stay in first place.

Last year the Raccoons entered the season with a dozen ranked prospects, and they keep climbing despite that number being whittled down to seven, and their top 100 prospects going down from seven to three.

We shed #18 Jeff Wilson, #26 Lazaro Cavazos, and #82 Melvin Lucero in the Troy Greenway trade. #190 Daniel Hernandez was traded for Fernando Garcia. #92 Francisco Pena and #123 Travis Sims exceeded service time restrictions. The only ranked player from last year still in the organization but no longer ranked, yet eligible, was #189 Zack Kelly, who had been reassigned from Ham Lake to Aumsville…

5th (+74) – AA SP Nelson Moreno, 19 – 2035 international free agent signed by Raccoons
41st (+36) – AA 2B/3B Jon Loyola, 21 – 2033 international free agent signed by Raccoons
97th (-36) – AAA INF Jon Caskey, 24 – 2034 first-round pick by Raccoons
125th (new) – A SP Vince Burke, 21 – 2037 first-round pick by Raccoons
138th (+7) – AAA OF/2B Cory Cronk, 24 – 2032 third-round pick by Raccoons
151st (+25) – AA OF/1B Ivan Cantu, 21 – 2034 international free agent signed by Raccoons
173rd (new) – A SP Matt Kaplan, 20 – 2037 second-round pick by Raccoons

The franchise top 10 are completed by INT C Jose Ortiz, 17 (discovery), AA CL Brent Clark, 23 (5th Rd., 2036), and A C Jason Lindblom, 19 (4th Rd., 2037);

The top 5 overall prospects this year are:

#1 OCT AAA SP Sebastian Parham (newly drafted)
#2 SAC A 3B/1B John McDonell (newly drafted)
#3 CHA AA SP Pablo Vazquez (was #1)
#4 OCT ML C Jesus Adames (was #6)
#5 POR AA SP Nelson Moreno (was #79)

From the four guys missing from last year’s top 5, a broken foot and elbow trouble held #2 SFB SS Jorge Gonzalez to 90 games and dropped him to #23. Similarly, a broken foot and other ailments including earache had the Caps’ RF/LF Eduardo Avila sag from #3 to #7. Rebels SP Gabe Blanco struggled in single-A, then sprained an ankle to miss two months, and went from #4 to #18. Finally, IND SP Ricky Sanchez made 23 starts before radial nerve compression ended his season and he plunged from #5 to #93.

What is with all those ankle injuries?? They don’t make young boys anymore like they used to!

Next: first pitch.

[Westheim]

Raccoons (0-0) vs. Canadiens (0-0) – April 6-7, 2038

Not the best start to a season. There was all the smell in the ballpark, there was all the horror of getting off on the wrong hindpaw against THEM, and then there was also the fact that Nick Valdes was in the ballpark to look over my shoulder. Triple discomfort on Opening Day! We had won the season series last year, 10-8.

Projected matchups:
Bernie Chavez (0-0) vs. Eric Weitz (0-0)
Bryce Sparkes (0-0) vs. Corey Booth (0-0)

All starters in this series were going to be right-handers.

Game 1
VAN: 2B Morrow – 1B J. Lopez – CF Outram – RF R. Phillips – C Clemente – LF LeJeune – SS Cabral – 3B Schneider – P Weitz
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – 1B Stedham – SS Myers – C Morales – CF Maldonado – P Chavez

The season started off exactly as imagined. Bernie walked Eric Morrow, Johnny Lopez reached on an error by Myers, and then Jerry Outram rammed one out of right-center for a 3-0 deficit. No outs on the board, either. Ryan Phillips and Jesse LeJeune hit singles going forward, but were stranded when the inning finally came to a dismal end. The Raccoons had the sacks full in the bottom 1st after walks to Cosmo and Greenway, and Manny getting nailed in between. Stedham immediately chunked a ball into a double play to end the effort.

Chavez was the only Raccoon to land a base hit the first time through, hitting a leadoff single in the bottom 3rd. By that time the Raccoons were down 4-0 on another unearned run. Outram singled, stole second, Morales threw the ball away, and it was only getting worse. Ramos popped out, and Trevino hit into a double play to end the fourth as efficiently as possible. Top 4th, Ramon Cabral drew a leadoff walk. He was bunted to second when Weitz laid one down and was retired for the second out, after which Morrow floated a ball to right that Greenway touched and dropped. Cabral scored on the third Raccoons error, making it 5-0, in a game that just kept getting worse. Bernie was done after that, although only two runs were actually earned, and then the Raccoons made the scoreboard after all … in unearned fashion. Stedham singled, Myers was nailed, and Brian Schneider threw away Tony Morales’ grounder for two bases and a run in the bottom 4th. Yaay. Maldonado popped out to end the inning.

The damn Elks took the run back against David Fernandez, who allowed a walk to Outram and two hits in the top 5th. Highly annoying Jerry Outram kept twisting the dagger, hitting a 2-run homer off Travis Sims in the sixth inning, and I don’t know why they are so absolutely horrendous, either, Nick! How about … I don’t know. I can’t talk to you. I am questioning all my life choices right now. Sims put two more runners on base to begin the seventh, then gave up a 3-run blast to Cabral, so things were going well. Not even the long guy getting length. Portland grabbed three runs when it didn’t matter anymore, getting their first three batters on base in the bottom of the seventh with Morales, Maldonado, and Ledford all reaching, the latter hitting an RBI double. One run scored on Ramos’ grounder, and another on a 2-out single by Manny. Yaay, offense. (unscrews bottle of Capt’n Coma) Maldonado got another run home in the eighth. Not that it mattered. Nothing did. 11-5 Canadiens. Morales 2-4, 2B; Hooge (PH) 1-1; Ledford (PH) 1-2, 2B, RBI;

Well, I don’t know. Is it worth playing another 161?

161. Almost as much as Sims’ ERA (1+ IP, 5 ER).

Game 2
VAN: 2B Morrow – 1B J. Lopez – CF Outram – RF R. Phillips – C Clemente – LF LeJeune – SS Cabral – 3B Schneider – P Booth
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – 1B Stedham – SS Myers – C Morales – CF Maldonado – P Sparkes

Timóteo Clemente had been mostly silent on Tuesday, but that changed on Wednesday with a 2-run homer following up Ryan Phillips’ leadoff walk. The Raccoons got some stir from the bottom of the order in their half of the second, with Stdham and Morales getting on before Maldonado dropped another RBI single to cut the gap to 2-1. Booth brushed Bryce with a fastball, loading the bases for a hitless Berto, who grounded out to Lopez to leave three stranded. By contrast the top 3rd continued with Booth shooting a single up the middle, then Myers tossing away a Morrow grounder, lobbing it past a confused Cosmo when it could have been a 6-4-3. After Lopez lined out, Outram hit another grounder to Myers, and for once the Raccoons actually turned the double play. Manny singled in the bottom 3rd ahead of the Raccoons taking their first lead of the season on Jesse Stedham’s 2-out homer to right-center, putting the team ahead 3-2!

Not that smooth sailing ensued and lasted ever after. The fifth inning saw Sparkes shovel the bags full, AGAIN with Booth getting on base with a single, this time with one out. Morrow and Lopez followed, loading the sacks for the terror Outram, who had driven in five in the opener. Here he popped out to Stedham, bringing up Phillips with two outs and a 1-for-6 start. Before he could liven that up, Sparkes threw a game-tying wild pitch, getting teams even at three, before Phillips flew out after all. The following inning, the damn Elks singled Sparkes to death. Three base hits in a row to take the lead, then a Booth sac fly to make it 5-3. – Slappy, I don’t think this booze is working. I can still see them playing and losing in the worst way.

A Morales homer in the bottom 6th was soon matched by Mauricio Garavito issuing a leadoff walk to Lopez and giving up an RBI double to Clemente in the top 7th. Cosmo and Manny doubles were good for a run in the bottom 7th, but that still left the Raccoons a run short when they stranded the tying run on third base. Maldonado hit a double off Raymond Pearce with one out in the eighth to put that tying run in scoring position yet again. New pitcher Juan Melendrez was a left-hander and would face Rich Vickers hitting for Citriniti in the #9 hole. Vickers ran a 3-1 count before ripping. I screamed, but Vickers singled, and Maldonado scored, tying the game at six. Then Berto hit into a double play, which got Jermaine Campbell to make his Raccoons debut in a tie in the top 9th. Jacob Kolbe pinch-hit and singled in the #1 hole, was run for by Alex Perez, and Perez was caught stealing. Ultimately, Campbell saw only three batters, and now the Raccoons had the 2-3-4 up against right-hander Tim Zimmerman in the bottom 9th, needing one run to win. While Cosmo grounded out, Manny singled and Greenway got his first hit of the year, doubling to right. Pat Pohl was out there and was on the ball too fast to send Manny, but the winning run was 90 feet away with one down for Stedham… who got four wide ones, bringing up Myers instead. Elijah Williams hit for him, making his Critters debut. It was a good one – grounder up the middle, Jesse LeJeune lunged, missed it, and the Coons walked off. 7-6 Critters. M. Fernandez 3-4, BB, 2B, RBI; Stedham 2-4, BB, HR, 2 RBI; Williams (PH) 1-1, RBI; Morales 3-4, HR, RBI; Maldonado 2-4, 2B, RBI; Vickers (PH) 1-1, RBI;

(looks like he can’t believe it)

There was an off day before the Knights came in for the weekend set, which was some time to evaluate the pitching (which had been atrocious) and defense (which defied description).

What is it, Cristiano? Berto cost us 0.2 wins just by playing third base for two days? – Sometimes I wished you could keep this stuff to yourself!

Raccoons (1-1) vs. Knights (2-1) – April 9-11, 2038

The Knights had taken two of three from the Falcons to begin the season, scoring 12 runs and allowing just nine, which sounded like a lot better in terms of pitching and defense than what we had cooked up. Last year the Raccoons had taken five of nine from them.

Projected matchups:
Josh Weeks (0-0) vs. Chris Lulay (0-0)
Jared Ottinger (0-0) vs. Danny Orozco (0-0)
Raffaello Sabre (0-0) vs. Brad Santry (1-0, 2.57 ERA)

They already had two players on the DL, SP Terry Garrigan and outfielder Luis Inoa; both were out with a shoulder ailment. Lulay and Orozco were left-handed, so that should shuffle the lineup a bit.

Game 1
ATL: SS Kilgallen – 3B Dichio – CF J. Simmons – 2B Zesati – C Horner – RF P. Sanchez – 1B LeClerc – LF Abel – P Lulay
POR: 3B Myers – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Maldonado – 1B Stedham – C Kilmer – SS Williams – P Weeks

Dominique Dichio, of all people, hit a jack for Atlanta to put them up 1-0 in the first inning, and it didn’t seem like Raccoons pitching would get any better any time soon. At least the Raccoons dropped a few hits in the bottom 1st. Singles by Cosmo and Manny, then an RBI double by Greenway to tie the game, and Maldonado’s sac fly to left was enough to take a 2-1 lead, which Weeks then clung to for a few innings while nobody got a base hit anymore. In fact, the next base hit was not dropped until Jeff Kilmer’s turn the second time through, and it wasn’t as much dropped as blasted over the fence in left, a 2-out, 2-run homer in the bottom 4th that put the Raccoons up 4-1. Troy Greenway had been on base.

Atlanta answered with Adam Horner’s leadoff double in the fifth and a Justin LeClerc RBI single, so was back to 4-2, but at least Weeks got a K on Christian Abel after balking LeClerc to third base with one out… Lulay also whiffed, the sixth victim for Weeks in his season debut. Weeks then hit a leadoff single in the bottom of the inning, but nothing came of it. At least he completed seven innings on four hits and two runs to become the first Critter starter with a shot for the W in ’38. Vickers batted for him to begin the bottom 7th, but the Raccoons didn’t get on base until Myers and Trevino made it to the corners against Lulay, who was yanked for righty rookie Rich Ray, who whiffed Manny, but gave up a screamer to right to Greenway. That one found the base of the fence for a 2-out, 2-run double, extending the lead to 6-2. Ray walked Maldonado, but Stedham popped out to end the inning. It didn’t matter – David Fernandez, Antonio Prieto, and Yeom Soung pieced six outs together without giving up a run, and the Raccoons broke into above-.500 territory for the first time in 2038…! 6-2 Critters. Trevino 2-4, BB; M. Fernandez 2-5; Greenway 2-3, BB, 2 2B, 3 RBI; Kilmer 2-3, BB, HR, 2 RBI; Weeks 7.0 IP, 4 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 8 K, W (1-0) and 1-2;

Nick Valdes found nothing to complain about after this game, so departed in a hurry to check out his newest real estate development, tearing down a school for special needs children for a new parking lot in some forgotten city on the other side of the country. I hear parking for an hour will only cost five bucks there.

Game 2
ATL: CF J. Simmons – 1B Monge – C Horner – RF P. Sanchez – 3B Maneke – SS K. Thomson – LF Kilgallen – 2B Zesati – P Orozco
POR: CF Maldonado – RF M. Fernandez – 3B Myers – LF Hooge – 2B Vickers – 1B Stedham – C Kilmer – SS Williams – P Ottinger

Vickers kept stirring in limited playing time, getting the nod over Cosmo (everybody should get an appearance in the lineup in the first week! …if possible at all), and hitting a 2-out, 2-run double to plate Maldonado and Manny in the first inning, the first runs on the board. The 2-out, 2-run extra-base hits had been very pleasant to see yesterday, and I’d take more of them at any point! While that was all the countable offense early on, the Raccoons at least got the best start yet form a hurler, with Ottie allowing nobody on base in the first two innings, then had pairs aboard in the third and fourth, but stranded those, and had another clean one in the fifth, completing qualifying distance on just two base hits, but also only two strikeouts, relying on defense. Come the sixth, he retired the 2-3-4 batters with a K to Horner, and in the seventh he got two grounders to Vickers before the speedy Matt Kilgallen legged out a roller that died well before it reached Dave Myers’ usual stomping grounds. Former Coons farmhand Vincent Zesati popped out, ending the inning, and that was also all for Ottinger, who had thrown more pitches than an active 3-hit shutout would have you expect – 95 total, *and* his spot was leading off the bottom 7th. Berto pinch-hit for him, and walked, which didn’t liven up that 0-for-10 start he was on, and he was quickly forced out on Maldonado’s grounder. Maldonado then stole second base, which was in fact the first sack taken by a Raccoon this season (but then again, both Berto and Cosmo were off to slow starts, and if you’re not on base…). Manny grounded out, but Myers slapped a ball through the hole to extend the lead to 3-0.

Unfortunately, Justin Simmons and Danny Monge hit 1-out singles off Citriniti in the eighth inning, so trouble was brewing. Yeom Soung came out for the middle of the order, threw one pitch, Horner bounced a ball to short, and Elijah Williams turned a 6-4-3 with no trouble. Bottom 8th, Portland stacked them on Orozco; Vickers singled, Kilmer was walked with intent (??), and Cosmo walked hitting for Soung. That brought up Maldonado with three on and two outs, and he shot a grounder through the left side for a single. Vickers scored easily, Kilmer scored, too, and after Greenway grounded out for Fernandez, the Raccoons sent Sims into the ninth inning – he should be over the Opening Day shell shock by now. He got the game finished… with a leadoff walk, a wild pitch, a sharp RBI knock by Kilgallen, and some spiffy defense to keep his intestines from falling out. 5-1 Furballs. Maldonado 3-5, 2 RBI; Myers 2-4, RBI; Vickers 3-4, 2 2B, 2 RBI; Ottinger 7.0 IP, 3 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 3 K, W (1-0) and 1-2;

Game 3
ATL: CF J. Simmons – 1B Monge – C Horner – RF P. Sanchez – 3B Maneke – LF Abel – SS K. Thomson – 2B Kilgallen – P Santry
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – 1B Stedham – SS Maldonado – C Morales – CF Hooge – P Sabre

After Berto and Cosmo – neither of them warm or humming – made outs to begin the bottom 1st, the Raccoons unveiled five straight 2-out base hits, giving Santry a 3-run drumming early on. Stedham drove in one run, Maldonado drove in two, easily building his team RBI lead. Hooge made the third out after all, and in the bottom 2nd Berto FINALLY got his first hit of the year, a 1-out single up the middle. He then immediately proceeded to steal his first base of the year, too. Cosmo moved him to third with a grounder, and he scored on Manny’s single, 4-0. Atlanta made the board with a Simmons double through Berto (uh-oh) and a 2-out single by Horner for one marker in the top 3rd, while Maldonado ripped a 1-out triple into the gap in right-center in the Coons’ half of the third. Tony Morales whiffed, Hooge was bypassed, and Sabre flew out to left, where Abel dropped the ball for a run-scoring error…! Yay, offense! Berto grounded out to end the inning, while Sabre held up through five before coughing up a run on Monge and Horner doubles in the sixth, reducing the lead to 5-2.

Sabre batted for himself to begin the bottom 6th, making an out before Berto and Cosmo reached the corners with a pair of singles. Cosmo still didn’t get a jump, but at least broke up the double play when Manny grounded to Kilgallen, allowing Ramos to score from third, re-establishing slam range on Atlanta. Sabre did another scoreless inning, then was hit for in the bottom 7th in which Alfredo Flores allowed three hits and two walks, and somehow only one run – a Morales double play grounder being chiefly to blame for that; after that, Hooge singled home Stedham, 7-2, Ledford and Berto reached, but Cosmo grounded out.

From there the team worked out the first save chance for Jermaine Campbell. Prieto gave up a homer to Simmons in the eighth, and David Fernandez allowed a leadoff jack to Christian Abel in the ninth, then a single to Keith Thomson. Campbell appeared against Kilgallen with one on and nobody out, but got a grounder to Maldonado for two outs! Justin LeClerc grounded out to complete the sweep. 7-4 Critters! Ramos 2-4, BB; M. Fernandez 3-5, 2 RBI; Maldonado 3-4, 3B, 2 RBI; Ledford (PH) 1-1; Sabre 7.0 IP, 6 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 1 BB, 5 K, W (1-0);

In other news

April 5 – LVA SP Chris Crowell (1-0, 1.50 ERA) is expected to miss the rest of April with a strained hamstring.
April 6 – ATL LF/CF/1B Luis Inoa (.200, 0 HR, 1 RBI) will miss four weeks with shoulder tendinitis.
April 7 – The Cyclones’ SP Jon Pereira (1-0, 0.00 ERA) spins a 3-hit shutout against the Miners in a 5-0 Cyclones win in his first appearance for Cincy.
April 7 – The Wolves beat the Pacifics, 9-1, with only LAP 3B/SS Guillermo Obando (.308, 0 HR, 1 RBI) getting a base hit for the visitors.
April 8 – No Federal League game is brought to conclusion on Thursday – the only game between Pacifics and Wolves is suspended in the eighth in a 5-5 tie due to apocalyptic weather and will be concluded on April 30.
April 8 – PIT 3B Omar Lastrade (1-for-1, 0 HR, 0 RBI) will miss a month with a sprained ankle.
April 9 – The defending champs Blue Sox are 2-hit and lose 1-0 to LAP SP Ernesto Lujan (1-0, 0.00 ERA). The only run comes courtesy of a LAP INF/CF Brian Bowman (.294, 2 HR, 2 RBI) home run.
April 9 – The Miners also lose INF Sergio Barcia (.091, 0 HR, 0 RBI) to an elbow contusion. He is expected to miss only one week.
April 10 – SFB 1B Kevin McGrath (.500, 2 HR, 3 RBI), age 38, lands his 2,000th base hit in a 3-2 win over the Crusaders. Owner of all sorts of awards from Rookie of the Year to World Series MVP, the career .271 hitter with 243 HR and 1,119 RBI hits a single off NYC Jamal Barrow (0-0, 0.00 ERA) in the seventh inning for the milestone.

FL Player of the Week: PIT OF Adrian Wade (.500, 2 HR, 7 RBI)
CL Player of the Week: IND 3B Dan Hutson (.538, 1 HR, 4 RBI)

Complaints and stuff

Not ALL is well, but the offense was certainly there. They scored six runs per game in this brief first week, even though not everybody is contributing yet. The pitching on the other paw… oh boy! The bullpen ERA is currently 6.43, and while much of that damage comes from the opener, few of the guys in the pen appear sharp right now.

Jesus Maldonado? “If he hits at all” was the call. He hit .474 with 7 RBI this week, which oughta count for something!

Chiyosaku Maruyama went unclaimed and was sent back to St. Petersburg.

Fun Fact: The last time the Raccoons started at least 4-1 in the first week, Jonny Toner was still on the team.

That would be *2020*, and exactly a 4-1 start. They actually started 4-0, bludgeoning the Loggers for 22 runs in two games in Milwaukee (though they’d get their revenge at the end …) and then took two from the Thunder before being weirdly stopped by Evan Greenfield (who?).

There is a lot of 2-4 starts in team history…

[Questdog]

Okay! Enough of the Opera crap! Let's do some dumpster diving!

[Westheim]

I hate the fact that the city is partially pedestrianizing the road in front of the ballpark. Due to the roadworks I can’t park in the handicapped spot in front of the main entrance anymore! I nipped the wheelchair badge from Cristiano. Now I have to park behind the park near the dumpsters.

Speaking of dumpsters, what’s the rummaging noises in this dented, rusty dumpster? (peaks over the edge of the sidewall) – Will you get outta there!? – (picks up a piece of rebar purposelessly lying in the middle of the alleyway) Go to batting practice! (bangs the piece of rebar against the corner of the dumpster) – (Berto, Hooge, Vickers, and Morales all scramble to escape the dumpster on the other side) – I can’t believe it! (gleans over the edge) They’ve been in there for who knows how long, and there’s a perfectly good looking slice of pizza that nobody’s touched! – (looks around) – (climbs into the dumpster)

Raccoons (4-1) vs. Aces (5-2) – April 12-14, 2038

Vegas was well out of the gate, scoring the most runs in the game (although they also had the most games played), and sitting ninth in runs allowed, although, again, that was with seven games when few teams had seven games in the CL. They were conceding fewer runs per game than the Raccoons, who were still rallying from that 11-run drubbing they had gotten on Opening Day. Portland had taken the season series, 5-4, the last time around.

Projected matchups:
Bernie Chavez (0-1, 4.50 ERA) vs. Jesus Rodarte (1-0, 0.00 ERA)
Bryce Sparkes (0-0, 7.50 ERA) vs. John Jackson (1-0, 2.35 ERA)
Josh Weeks (1-0, 2.57 ERA) vs. Jerry Hodges (0-0, 9.00 ERA)

Southpaw to start the series, then two right-handers. Brad Ledford was in the lineup over Stedham on Monday, because he was the only batter without a lineup assignment so far, and because the Raccoons were playing 10 games in a row here between off days and wanted to give *everybody* a day off during the stretch.

Game 1
LVA: CF M. Hall – RF Platero – 2B Briones – LF Jorgensen – C Kuehn – SS O’Keefe – 1B Velazquez – 3B Armfield – P Rodarte
POR: 1B Maldonado – 3B Trevino – CF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – 2B Vickers – SS Myers – LF Ledford – C Kilmer – P Chavez

Bernie Chavez had another first-inning drubbing, with Jose Platero’s single, a walk issued to Mike Jorgensen, and Paul Kuehn’s 3-run blast rushing his ERA near double digits. This time all the markers were earned, too. The Raccoons didn’t muster much the first time through, with only Rich Vickers’ solo homer making it onto the board. Jeff Kilmer was nicked to begin the bottom 3rd, and Bernie bunted into a double play, then sucked some more in the fourth inning and gave up a 2-run homer to Chris O’Keefe, and then a leadoff jack to Mike Hall in the fifth. That was enough, and Travis Sims replaced the Raccoons’ Opening Day starter, who, as a matter of tradition, unbeknownst to us appeared to have fallen into a wood chipper over the winter.

The Raccoons’ only offense remained Rich Vickers, who hit another home run in the bottom 5th, again a solo job, and by being 2-for-2 with two homers in a 6-2 deficit he held all the Raccoons’ offensive credentials at that point, but when he was up the next time with Manny and Greenway on base, chopped a ball into a dispiriting double play. The Raccoons lingered behind by four into the bottom 8th when a decaying Rodarte hit Greenway with two outs, his third hit-by-pitch and leading to his swift removal. Vickers and Myers reached base against Matt May, who was replaced by John Landrum, a right-hander, with Ledford at the plate as the tying run. Why pinch-hit for a left-handed stick-first player here, fifth outfielder be damned? Ledford ripped a gapper in right-center, Greenway scored, Vickers scored, and Myers – was thrown out at home plate, ending the inning. The Aces then got their two runs back from Citriniti (that pen…), with the extremely annoying Ken Wiersma hitting a leadoff single before Mike Hall tripled right away, scoring on a Platero sac fly. 8-4 Aces. Vickers 2-3, BB, 2 HR, 2 RBI; Sims 3.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 3 K and 1-1;

Steadily working our way towards being last in runs scored, even with that few games played…

Game 2
LVA: CF M. Hall – RF Platero – 2B Briones – 1B Marz – LF Jorgensen – C Kuehn – SS O’Keefe – 3B Armfield – P J. Jackson
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Maldonado – 1B Stedham – SS Myers – C Morales – P Sparkes

Portland got first dibs on the scoreboard in the Tuesday contest, with Berto (single), Cosmo, and Manny (doubles) opening with straight hits in the bottom 1st, the latter driving in two runs to get to 6 RBI, one behind Maldonado for the team lead. Greenway hit the most horrendous duck snort single on a 1-2 pitch, with Manny not getting further than third base. Maldonado then singled to left, getting his 8th RBI and telling Manny that he couldn’t have it. One more run scored on two productive outs, giving Sparkes a 4-0 lead after one inning, and it was 6-0 after two innings, with the top of the lineup going to work on Jackson again; Fernandez drove in two more, tying Maldonado with 8 RBI. Dave Myers hit a leadoff double and came around to score after a passed ball when Tony Morales grounded out in the bottom 3rd, 7-0.

The Aces had the odd hit off Sparkes, but that meant one base knock in every other inning through six, but Sparkes also ran plenty of long counts and was nearly done after six innings with seven strikeouts to his name, but the Raccoons squeezed him through the seventh on 110 pitches – and that was all they’d dare to ask of him. They were shutout innings, all was perfectly fine! Despite piling on the hits against the Vegas bullpen, the Raccoons never got another run on the board, which was also *fine* - they had scored seven early and those turned out to be plenty. Antonio Prieto had a scoreless eighth, before we sent Garavito for the ninth, despite not a lefty bat being in sight. That was the problem with a pen with three left-handers (excluding the closer). There were not enough left-handed batters going around for them. The veteran in the pen prevailed, getting Mario Briones on strikes and the next two guys on grounders to end the game. 7-0 Raccoons! Ramos 3-5; Trevino 2-5, 2B; M. Fernandez 3-4, BB, 2B, 4 RBI; Greenway 3-4, BB, 2B; Sparkes 7.0 IP, 3 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 8 K, W (1-0);

Interlude: Free agent signing

The free agent the Raccoons had chased after in March signed on April 14, inking a $400k deal. It was right-handed middle reliever Ben Feist, 31 years old. He was an 8-year veteran of four FL teams, most recently L.A., with a 27-19 career record, 3.70 ERA, and 5 saves across 364 games (5 starts). He was a control pitcher and rather durable. Travis Sims was optioned to St. Petersburg to make room on the roster.

Raccoons (4-1) vs. Aces (5-2)

Game 3
LVA: CF M. Hall – SS O’Keefe – 2B Briones – 1B Marz – LF Jorgensen – C Kuehn – RF Platero – 3B Rossi – P Hodges
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Maldonado – 1B Stedham – C Morales – SS Williams – P Weeks

Up against an entirely right-handed (or switch-hitting) lineup, Weeks didn’t fare well right out of the gate. Mike Hall hit a leadoff single and stole a base, and Briones whacked a triple to get the Aces on top. Thankfully John Marz popped out poorly, which cost them a run when they stranded Briones on third base. Hodges loaded the bases in the bottom 1st without retiring anybody, allowing a single to Cosmo and walks to the others. Greenway grounded to short, but the Aces couldn’t turn two, getting only Manny out while Berto scored with the tying run. Maldonado hit a go-ahead RBI single, and Stedham coaxed a walk in a full count, restocking the bags for Tony Morales, who was a prime double play candidate, popped out instead, but Elijah Williams also could not get another run in, grounding out to short. Paul Kuehn then immediately tied the game with a leadoff jack in the second, 2-2.

Weeks lasted only three innings before settling for a no-decision when a hamstring acted up. Dr. Chung immediately thought it not to be serious and didn’t even want to take Weeks out of the game, but Weeks begged his way out. The Raccoons thus had to find six innings from the pen. Citriniti was the first guy out, coming in with a 3-2 lead after Maldonado and Stedham hits had cobbled a run together in the bottom 3rd. He logged five outs, struck out four, and hit two Aces, including John Marz to punch his replacement ticket with two outs in the fifth. Briones was also on base, having just singled before Marz got nicked. New arrival Ben Feist was called out against Steve Jorgensen and gave up an RBI single up the middle before grounding Kuehn to Stedham to end the inning. Cosmo hit a leadoff single in the bottom 5th but was caught stealing, with Troy Greenway hitting a 2-out homer to give Portland yet another lead, 4-3.

Before long, the Raccoons were back at the point where they had to be a bit more careful with their righty pitchers. Yeom Soung was sent into the seventh inning, facing the top of the still all-righty order. He walked Hall, but then retired the next three on poor outs. Hodges was out of the game in the seventh, with Matt May pitching for the Aces. Berto singled, stole second, then came around on Manny Fernandez’ single to right, tacking on a bonus run. Greenway was walked intentionally, Maldonado whiffed, and Stedham walked after a fight that ran the count full, bringing up Tony Morales, batting .389 early on, with three on and two outs, and the chance to put this one away. Sharp liner to center, definitely in, and two runs scored on the 0-1 single! Williams would ground out, but the team hit a bevvy of singles in the bottom 8th to tack on two more runs. Despite this, the Raccoons sent Jermaine Campbell into the ninth; the closer hadn’t gotten much work (two innings in seven games) and we hoped to keep everybody *somewhat* fresh for four games with Boston. Campbell struggled, but that was also partly due to Ken Wiersma, that evil coonskinner, doubling to begin the inning. Wiersma was allied with demons, so you could look past that. His run scored, but that was all the Aces got in the ninth. 9-4 Raccoons! Myers 1-1; Trevino 2-5; M. Fernandez 2-4, BB, 2 RBI; Greenway 2-4, BB, HR, 2 RBI; Maldonado 3-4, BB, 2 RBI; Soung 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 3 K;

Feist got credit for the W … and a blown save.

Weeks was going to be out for a week with a sore hamstring, but the Raccoons as a whole shouldn’t suffer for it; his next regular turn fell on our off day on Monday, so he could be easily skipped or possibly be worked back into the order a few days later.

Raccoons (6-2) vs. Titans (4-5) – April 15-18, 2038

Final set of this long opening homestand. In came the Titans, who had won 10 of 18 games against Portland last year, but had come up remarkably short in the final tally. They were fourth in runs scored (Coons: 2nd) and seventh in runs allowed (Coons: t-4th). Their rotation had so far held up pretty well with a sub-3 ERA, but their bullpen was in the bottom three in the league with a 5.56 ERA. Well, ours wasn’t great either…

Projected matchups:
Jared Ottinger (1-0, 0.00 ERA) vs. Blake Scuilli (0-1, 7.20 ERA)
Raffaello Sabre (1-0, 2.57 ERA) vs. Andy Bressner (0-1, 1.15 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (0-2, 9.00 ERA) vs. Rich Willett (1-1, 3.07 ERA)
Bryce Sparkes (1-0, 3.46 ERA) vs. Tony Chavez (1-0, 3.38 ERA)

In this series, the southpaw was lurking right at the end of the line. We’d miss their other left-hander, Mario Gonzalez (1-0, 2.45 ERA).

The commitment remained to give everybody a day off. Only seeing a southpaw on Sunday, ahead of the off day, made things a bit stupid with our outfielders, though. It was thus resolved to get Manny and Greenway a day off in the first two games of the set. Things were what they were… Maldonado was also rested in the opener, and Cosmo was marked up for Friday.

Game 1
BOS: SS Gil – 3B Corder – LF W. Vega – CF Calais – RF J. Wallace – C Dear – 2B Sibley – 1B Palacios – P Sciulli
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – CF Hooge – LF M. Fernandez – 1B Stedham – SS Myers – RF Ledford – C Kilmer – P Ottinger

Ottiemania blossomed stranger flowers every week, with dozens of kids being in the stands wearing fake glasses glued together from pencils and crayons. I asked Maud, why everything was the way it was, but her answer started with “Well, on Gobble…” and I didn’t listen to anything after that. The Coons poked the red-bearded Sciulli for three hits by the 2-3-4 batters and one run in the opening inning, and that was much more up my alley, although the Titans came back right away with a Sean Calais single, a stolen base, and Matt Dear’s RBI double in the second. Ledford reached base with a leadoff walk in the bottom 2nd, then advanced on a grounder and a balk, putting him right where Ottie wanted him, at third base. He scored Ledford with a grounder up the middle, taking a 2-1 lead, then continued to nibble on the Titans’ lineup. Ottie would strike out only two batters in five innings, including Sciulli once, but also sprinkled five hits he allowed in a way that avoided major and unrepairable damage to the wonderful kids’ tender souls… and my black, oozing soul, too.

Dave Myers made an error that put Calais on base in the sixth, but with two outs Ottie popped out ex-Critter Jimmy Wallace, who was on his third team in three years and still being paid money he had agreed to with us. The score remained 2-1 into the bottom 6th where Myers reached base, then stole a base and reached third on Dear’s throwing error. Jeff Kilmer singled him across to make it a 3-1 lead. Ottie popped out, but Berto singled and Cosmo walked, which brought on a new pitcher in Dusty Kulp, who the Raccoons had released last season. He had then pitched in 22 games for the Caps, posting a 4.30 ERA, more than two runs lower than what he had done to Portland. This year, he was at a 3.00 ERA after only three innings, and got Ed Hooge to ground out and waste all the runners. Ottie wiggled around a leadoff walk to Dear in the seventh, completing that inning, but did not come back for the eighth, with Antonio Gil’s lefty bat leading off and the score still only 3-1. That was what he had a bushel of southpaws for! David Fernandez came, put Adam Corder on second base with a gross throwing error by himself, and left after getting Willie Vega to fly out. Prieto got Calais to ground out, completing the inning. Portland loaded the bases *again* in the eighth against righty Tony Rivas with 2-out singles by Greenway, Berto, and Cosmo. Ed Hooge was back at the plate, and still a left-handed batter, so why not? He grounded out to Corder. At least Jermaine Campbell stuck it to his longtime team… 3-1 Critters! Ramos 2-5; Trevino 3-4; M. Fernandez 2-3, BB, 2B, RBI; Greenway (PH) 1-1; Ottinger 7.0 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 3 K, W (2-0);

The Titans made a trade at that point, acquiring an 0-for-2 Ricardo Vadillo from the Blue Sox, presumably just to *have* somebody that had won a ring against Portland in ’37 and to make me mad. They sent longtime lefty Wyatt Hamill (0-0, 0.00 ERA) and a prospect to Nashville to complete the deal.

Nick Valdes dropped in just for a quick game on Friday (of course with the routinely tough Bressner on the mound…), and with “drop” I mean “drop”. He parachuted off a helicopter hovering above the field an hour prior to first pitch, but misjudged the wind and crash-landed in one of the dumpsters behind the ballpark. He did not suffer serious injury, but he crawled out with a banana peel stuck on his left shoulder… and nobody told him. He wore that peel all evening.

Game 2
BOS: SS Gil – 3B Corder – LF W. Vega – CF Calais – RF J. Wallace – C Dear – 2B Sibley – 1B Vadillo – P Bressner
POR: 3B Ramos – LF Hooge – 2B Vickers – RF Greenway – CF Maldonado – C Morales – SS Myers – 1B Stedham – P Sabre

Also tough – watching Sabre pitch. He got through the first alright, but then allowed a leadoff single to Calais in the second. The Titans then swiftly uncorked three straight doubles, taking a 3-0 lead. Vadillo singled after basically just having arrived (he notably did not have his name on his uniform, just #38, since there had been no time), and Bressner bunted for the first out in the inning. It took an Antonio Gil pop, a full count walk to Corder, and then a full count liner that Myers caught off Willie Vega’s bat to get the damn inning over with. Somehow, after THAT performance, the Raccoons still managed to drag Sabre through six, and without another run allowed, but the Titans poked him for a total of nine hits, and he looked like stale butt the entire time, AND Nick Valdes did not stop complaining about him, either. – Through 2040, Nick. – No, you’re paying for him. – Why would the Titans pay for him?? – That’s not how ANYTHING works!!

Tempers also flared because the Raccoons’ offense did absolutely nothing without Cosmo and Manny. They sprinkled four hits (one by Sabre) and three walks across the first six innings, and hit into two double plays in a valiant attempt to not score. The first time they looked like they were getting a good chance going early on was all the way into the seventh inning, with Morales and Myers poking leadoff singles against Bressner, who was then on 88 pitches. Stedham was the tying run, popped a 1-1 pitch to shallow left, and Gil and Vega – two Gold Glovers! – scared each other off as the ball dropped in between. The bases were loaded, nobody out, and *obviously* Manny Fernandez was batting for Dennis Citriniti here. The 0-1 pitch was cracked to right, and knocked down by Sibley deep on the dirt, but he couldn’t hold on, the ball rolled away, and all paws were safe on the infield single as the Raccoons shortened the score to 3-1! Just five pitches later, we were tied, with Berto slapping a 3-1 pitch to right-center for a 2-run single! Huzzah! (double-high-fives with Valdes, with both rubbing a sore paw afterwards)

That was it, though; Hooge, Vickers, and Greenway were retired in order, and the Raccoons stranded the go-ahead runs on base. David Fernandez and Ben Feist cobbled together the eighth against a barrage of pinch-hitters, and then Maldonado opened the bottom 8th with a single, stole second, and scored on Dave Myers’ single to take the lead! Unfortunately, Campbell was unavailable, but Yeom Soung was ready for duty, and the Titans’ lineup provided consistent mixed bags anyway. Switch-hitter Micah Sears hit a leadoff single, but when Gil bunted, Soung pounced and got a force at second base. Adam Corder then hit a grounder to Vickers, to Williams at short, and to Stedham – ballgame! 4-3 Raccoons! Morales 2-4; Myers 2-4, RBI; M. Fernandez (PH) 1-2, RBI;

Ben Feist, two outings, two wins. And Valdes left without making vague threats about changes coming, which he wouldn’t follow through anyway.

Game 3
BOS: SS Gil – 3B Corder – LF W. Vega – CF Calais – C Dear – 2B Sibley – RF R. Sanchez – 1B Vadillo – P Willett
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Maldonado – C Morales – SS Myers – 1B Stedham – P B. Chavez

Bernie remained no bueno, walking a pair in the first before narrowly avoiding another 3-run bomb by Calais that Greenway snagged at the top of the fence. The Titans had to settle for that sac fly in the first. He wasn’t the only one having a messy day. Maldonado reached on an uncaught third strike before being caught stealing in the second and in the third the Raccoons got Myers on base to begin the frame, but Stedham forced him out. Chavez’ bunt was thrown away by Willett for a 2-base error, and Berto walked to fill the bases for Cosmo with one out, but he lined out and Fernandez grounded out to strand all the runners without as much as tying the game.

Matt Dear hit a single to left with two outs in the fifth that moved Vega to second base and Corder around to score, 2-0. That was the end for Bernie Chavez, having thrown 102 dismal pitches without even getting through five innings, allowing two runs (so far) on six hits and three walks. Garavito got a K from Sibley to end the inning, then bunted into a double play after a Stedham single in the bottom of the inning. Bottom 6th, Berto and Cosmo reached the corners with nobody out thanks to a pair of singles; they were the tying runs. Manny Fernandez ran a full count before drawing ball four in the dirt to fill the bases with no outs, a situation that, against Boston, historically yielded negative two runs for the Raccoons on average. Greenway poked at the first pitch and hit a comebacker that had Ramos dead at home, but the bags remained full for Maldonado, who struck a 1-2 pitch over the shortstop for a game-tying single! He also tied Manny again for the team lead in RBI with 12. And Morales rolled into a double play…

Vega’s leadoff single against Garavito in the seventh was followed by a Dear double off Feist, and an Andy Sears single off Soung as the Raccoons could not get anybody out when it counted and fell behind 3-2 in the inning. Stedham knotted the score again with a solo homer in the bottom 7th, after which Prieto and Campbell offered scoreless relief, giving the Raccoons a chance to walk off in regulation. Willett was STILL in the game in the bottom 9th, which began with Maldonado in the box and Willett on only 92 pitches. Groundout, flyout, strikeout – extra innings. Citriniti got around a leadoff walk drawn by Raul Sanchez in the 10th, keeping the game tied, with Mike Hugh and his ghastly 15.19 ERA appearing in the bottom of the inning. Stedham drew a leadoff walk, then was bunted to second base by Elijah Williams, a defensive replacement in this case for Myers, Berto still batting in the #1 spot, from where he ended the game with a ball over the head of centerfielder Travis Adkins. 4-3 Critters!! Ramos 2-4, BB, 2B, RBI; Trevino 2-4; Stedham 2-3, BB, HR, RBI;

9-2 at this point! I’d like to claim we’re special, but in fact the only division not to have a team with that or a better record on Saturday night was the CL South, led by the 7-4 Baybirds.

Game 4
BOS: 2B Sibley – 3B Corder – CF Calais – RF J. Wallace – C Dear – SS Sears – LF R. Sanchez – 1B Vadillo – P T. Chavez
POR: 2B Trevino – 3B Myers – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Maldonado – 1B Stedham – SS Williams – C Kilmer – P Sparkes

Once again, the Raccoons burst out early; Cosmo singled, and after Myers flew out the Raccoons got runs on a Manny triple, then a Greenway single in front of Jimmy Wallace, which was a good place to hit the ball to. Maldonado also singled to right, but Stedham and Williams made the last two outs in the inning. And Sparkes was mostly fine early on, not allowing a base hit until Micah Sears dropped a single to begin the fifth. He had walked a pair in a dicey third inning, though, and the score was still only 2-0. Sears stole second, and they were on the corners after Raul Sanchez legged out a single on an infield roller. Sparkes got strikeouts from Vadillo and Tony Chavez, though, and looked like all would be well. While Sibley was retired, he did chase Manny back to the fence on a 1-2 pitch, being retired less than 15 feet from a 3-run homer.

Sparkes opened the fifth with a leadoff walk, with Myers’ single and Manny’s full-count walk loading the bases against Chavez. Greenway hit a sac fly to center, 3-0, and Maldonado singled to right, but this time Wallace was on the ball and Myers was held, bringing up the .220 hitter Stedham with the bases loaded and two outs, eventually flying out to Calais in center. Calais hit into a double play in the sixth after Corder had drawn a leadoff walk, and that helped Sparkes to avoid damage on a sharp Wallace single. Sparkes also became the first Critter starting pitcher to retire a guy in the eighth, getting the 9-1-2 hitters on two pops sandwiching a strike, but at that point he was also closing in on 110 pitches again and would not be back for the ninth, even after Kilmer scratched out an extra run with an RBI single that plated Williams and his 1-out double in the bottom 8th. Prieto did the dirty work in the ninth, retiring the Titans in order for a rare 4-game sweep! 4-0 Raccoons!! Trevino 2-5; Myers 2-3, BB; M. Fernandez 3-3, BB, 3B, RBI; Maldonado 2-4; Sparkes 8.0 IP, 3 H, 0 R, 3 BB, 6 K, W (2-0);

In other news

April 16 – IND C Elliott Thompson (.206, 0 HR, 1 RBI) will miss a month after having his hand broken with a pitch by VAN SP Eric Weitz (3-0, 3.09 ERA).
April 18 – Dallas LF/RF/1B Marc DeVita (.333, 0 HR, 3 RBI) is out for the season with a broken kneecap.
April 18 – LVA 1B John Marz (.295, 4 HR, 8 RBI) slips on his wet lawn and suffers an undisclosed leg injury that will keep him out for a month.

FL Player of the Week: WAS OF/1B Scott Martin (.344, 2 HR, 13 RBI), hitting .412 (14-34) with 7 RBI
CL Player of the Week: IND 1B Brent Rempfer (.459, 3 HR, 8 RBI), swatting .619 (13-21) with 2 HR, 5 RBI

Complaints and stuff

Wet lawn in Vegas? I’m not buying that!

Oh we have our own issues, like, where am I supposed to use all the despair and forsaken remarks and the angry attitude that I bought at BallMart before the season started? If they continue playing like this, this could be the merriest season ever, for any team, in any sport!

Road trip of two weeks starts on Tuesday; first week will be on the east coast, second week on the west coast.

There *really* isn’t much more to say than that. Third in runs scored, second in runs allowed. Life is good.

Fun Fact: The Raccoons won the season series against the Titans twice in the last 16 years.

Looking good so far!

REVENGE!!

[Questdog]

Man o' man! I have never seen anything like THIS in Portland before!

I see 2 players that haven;t done much of anything. Two! Unbelievable!
I feel sorry for those two though....

[Westheim]

Raccoons (10-2) @ Crusaders (6-6) – April 20-22, 2038

The Raccoons hadn’t lost a season series to New York since ’32 and had won 10 games against them in the previous season. It was hard to say where the Crusaders would go; they had been reasonably near the playoffs in ’37, but so far looked thoroughly mediocre. They were sixth in runs scored, and third in runs allowed, with a bullpen determined to undo as much of the starters’ good work as possible. They also already had two sort of important players on the DL in Greg Ortiz and reliever Dan Dalton.

Projected matchups:
Jared Ottinger (2-0, 0.64 ERA) vs. Ignacio del Rio (2-0, 1.62 ERA)
Josh Weeks (1-0, 3.60 ERA) vs. Jared Murphy (0-1, 2.08 ERA)
Raffaello Sabre (1-0, 3.46 ERA) vs. Matt Brost (1-2, 5.17 ERA)

Ottie was skipped ahead of Josh Weeks, who was fine again after leaving his last start early. All the Crusaders’ starting pitchers were right-handed.

Game 1
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Maldonado – C Morales – SS Myers – 1B Stedham – P Ottinger
NYC: CF L. Herrera – RF Montes – C D. Phillips – 1B Salto – 2B Duenez – LF Hawthorne – 3B Sifuentes – SS J. Juarez – P del Rio

While del Rio vengefully retired the Raccoons in order the first time through, the Crusaders got Lorenzo Herrera and Andy Montes on base to begin the bottom 1st, but then saw Devin Phillips pop out and Graciano Salto hit into a double play. Nobody else reached base until the fourth inning, when Manny Fernandez singled. Troy Greenway beat Herrera in center for an RBI triple, and then scored on Maldonado’s single to give the Raccoons a 2-0 lead. The Crusaders also got a 2-out hit from Salto, a single to center, and he stole second base, but was stranded when Mario Duenez whiffed.

A Stedham double and Ramos’ RBI single extended the lead to 3-0 the following inning, while a leadoff walk drawn by George Hawthorne led nowhere for New York in the bottom of the same inning. All looked well! And then all came crashing down. Herrera singled in the sixth, Montes homered, and for good measure Salto also hit a home run to left that tied the game at three. All at once, Ottie was useless, putting Duenez and Hawthorne on base, too, and was whisked in favor of Ben Feist, who threw two pitches to Ramon Sifuentes and got an inning-ending double play grounder for his troubles. When Myers (walk) and Stedham (single) reached base to begin the seventh, Feist was retained to lay down a bunt, getting them into scoring position. Berto snuck the first pitch he saw past Duenez for an RBI single, and after that Cosmo also got his *first* RBI of the year with a … well, fielder’s choice, but at least Stedham made it across home plate. Cosmo stole second base, but Manny flew out to left to end the frame. Both teams then cobbled together a run in the eighth, with Maldonado’s stolen base in the top half being a big factor, while Citriniti was simply whacked for three singles in the bottom half. Cosmo got another RBI with his first homer of the season, hit off Jorge Villegas jr. with one out and nobody on in the ninth, and with a 7-4 lead the Raccoons stuck to Yeom Soung in the bottom 9th; the Crusaders had a mostly right-handed lineup even against Ottie, and the Critters had only three right-handed relievers (not counting Campbell). The only lefty bat (Montes) was up second in the inning, and Soung knew how to close. It sounded good underneath our furry skulls. In practice, leadoff man Herrera singled, and after that came three long slogs of at-bats… but all of them ended with a strikeout. 7-4 Raccoons! Ramos 2-5, 2 RBI; Maldonado 3-4, RBI; Stedham 3-4, 2B; Soung 1.1 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 3 K, SV (2);

And yet another win in relief for Ben Feist, who had not even been in the organization on Opening Day and now was the first pitcher to three wins on this team.

Oh Portland. Always stay wicked!

Game 2
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Maldonado – C Morales – SS Myers – 1B Stedham – P Weeks
NYC: CF L. Herrera – 2B Duenez – C D. Phillips – 1B K. Henderson – RF Salto – 3B Sifuentes – LF Montes – SS Stalker – P J. Murphy

The Raccoons loaded the bases without the benefit of a hit in the first, and didn’t score a run either. Cosmo reached on an error, Greenway walked, and Maldonado got nailed. Tony Morales then flew out in pedestrian fashion to Salto. The bags would be full again in the second, again with two outs, and after Stedham hit a solo homer for the first mark on the board. Berto, Cosmo, and Manny all reached with two outs, two of them on walks, and Murphy kept melting, never throwing a strike to Greenway, forcing in a run. Maldonado popped out on 1-2, keeping it a 2-0 game with six stranded, while the Crusaders scored a run on nothing but Salto and Montes singles in the bottom 2nd. Tim Stalker grounded out to Berto, ending the second inning, after entering with a .267 bat and 5 RBI, and, yes, playing short at age *39*. Oh well, he still made a nifty play to retire Maldonado, simultaneously stranding Cosmo on third base in the top of the fourth. The missed chances became actual regret in the bottom of the inning, when an otherwise solid Weeks put Phillips on base to begin the inning, and served up a score-flipping bomb to Sifuentes with two outs.

Down 3-2, the Coons loaded the bases again in the fifth, with Murphy yanked after putting Morales and Myers on. Jamal Barrow walked Berto with two outs, and Cosmo shot a 3-2 pitch up the middle. Stalker didn’t get that one, but the Raccoons took the lead back, plating a pair on the play, 4-3. The Raccoons were on the corners after this one when Cosmo boldly stole second base (his fifth on the year and third in the series), which became an extra run when Manny fought off enough to junk to hit a 1-2 pitch to center for another 2-run knock. Greenway struck out, and Weeks was overturned without getting the W either. Herrera’s 1-out double and two singles killed him, and Prieto replaced him with the tying runs on first and second and Kumanosuke Henderson batting. He popped out, but a wild pitch and a Salto single tied the game, and through five we were tied at six and none the smarter.

The abuse at the hands of Salto would continue, with Garavito pressed into service against right-handed batters in the seventh inning. Duenez singled, Henderson walked, and Salto slugged a 3-run homer to give New York a commanding lead. Down 9-6, the Raccoons got Greenway and Maldonado on, the latter being forced on a fielder’s choice grounder hit by Tony Morales. Casey Pinter was already the third pitcher of the inning and was trusted to remove Myers with two outs. He got as far as 1-2, then gave up a 3-run homer to tie the game. The madness! Garavito (leadoff walk to Montes…), Feist (Stalker single), and David Fernandez then all chipped in on the Crusaders’ next 3-piece, hit by PH Ricardo Salmeron. Portland went down in order in the ninth. 12-9 Crusaders. Trevino 3-6, 2 RBI; Morales 2-4, BB, 2B; Myers 3-5, HR, 3 RBI;

Ouch. Our bullpen keeps having a horrendous ERA, and the gap to the rotation isn’t really closing. They, too, are trying to undo all good deeds done by the lineup.

Game 3
POR: 3B Myers – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – 1B Maldonado – CF Hooge – SS Williams – C Kilmer – P Sabre
NYC: CF L. Herrera – RF Montes – C D. Phillips – 1B Salto – 2B Duenez – LF Hawthorne – 3B Sifuentes – SS Stalker – P Brost

There was no scoring early although both pitchers looked like a pinata ready to be broken wide open. Through three innings, Brost allowed only two hits but also some hard contact that never fell in, while Sabre scattered four hits, none of them with a guy in scoring position. When the fourth came, Cosmo hit a leadoff triple, extending a hitting streak to a cute 12 games. Troy Greenway, one out later, hit a shot to right that put the Critters up 2-0. Hawthorne answered with a leadoff single in the bottom 4th and Sifuentes came close to the wall, but even closer to Greenway’s mitten for the first out. The second out was Hawthorne, picked off by Sabre. Tim Stalker singled, but was stranded when Brost struck out. Montes hit a solo homer the following inning to reduce the lead to 2-1, still.

Cosmo and Greenway got the run back in subtler fashion in the top 6th. The former singled, stole second once again, and then scored on Greenway’s 2-out single that just barely got past Salto on the right side. It was already raining when Hooge doubled and scored on Elijah Williams’ single in the seventh, and pretty soon the tarp came on with a 4-1 lead on the board. Unfortunately, we didn’t get to skip the last three innings of pitching, but had Sabre wiped out for sure after a delay of over an hour. When play resumed, Jeff Kilmer completed a 70-minute at-bat with a single, putting them on the corners for Rich Vickers against lefty Casey Pinter, and Vickers hit another RBI single to center before Myers got doubled up and Cosmo was retired by Montes sliding through the wet grass in right. There were still nine outs to pick here, and the Raccoons turned to Citriniti first. He allowed two singles, but also got a double play from Jesus Juarez as I nervously paced up and down in the newly renovated VIP place above rightfield, yielding no runs to the Crusaders. Citriniti would end up logging six outs, while the Crusaders got nine from Pinter. The Raccoons sent Jermaine Campbell into the bottom 9th; while not a save situation, he had to be used at some point. Salmeron, Sifuentes, and Stalker went down in order, and the Raccoons took the set. 5-1 Critters! Trevino 2-4, 3B; Greenway 2-4, HR, 3 RBI; Kilmer 2-4; Vickers (PH) 1-1, RBI; Sabre 6.0 IP, 7 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 2 K, W (2-0); Citriniti 2.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 1 K;

Raccoons (12-3) @ Falcons (7-9) – April 23-25, 2038

Fourth in the South early on, the Falcons couldn’t score at all, sitting at 3.5 runs per game, second-worst in the league. They were also tough to score on, with a -2 run differential. Their rotation was average, but their pen had a 1.06 ERA as of now. Last year, Portland had claimed seven wins over them in nine games.

Projected matchups:
Bernie Chavez (0-2, 7.11 ERA) vs. Matt Moon (1-2, 5.40 ERA)
Bryce Sparkes (2-0, 2.14 ERA) vs. John Nelson (0-0, 1.54 ERA)
Jared Ottinger (2-0, 1.86 ERA) vs. Rafael Pedraza (1-2, 4.71 ERA)

Pedraza was to go on short rest, with Keith Black, who would be up on Sunday, laboring on a hammy and ruled out for the weekend. We’d miss their only southpaw, Chris “Tuba” Turner (1-2, 2.36 ERA).

Game 1
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – CF Maldonado – LF M. Fernandez – 1B Stedham – RF Ledford – SS Myers – C Morales – P Chavez
CHA: 2B O. Aguirre – C Sawyer – 3B Farfan – 1B Levis – SS Aparicio – RF Trahan – CF Ugolino – LF Aarhus – P Moon

The goal for Bernie was to not get thrown into another volcano so soon. Six decent innings would go a long way to reduce that ghastly ERA of his; and indeed totally unexpectedly a pitchers’ duel broke out. Neither team got much done for four innings, with Maldonado singling and being caught stealing, and Myers reaching base but then being ignored. The Falcons had two hits through four as well, and also had a guy thrown out on the bases (Doug Levis). Stedham would draw a walk off Moon to begin the fifth, and then Brad Ledford cracked his first Raccoons home run, shooting a ball over the fence in right for the first runs on the day. Myers got nailed right after, but with a 1-2 pitch, and could be persuaded by Tony Morales not to tear Moon’s guts out, since intent could not be reasonably expected. Morales drew another walk, and both were bunted over by Bernie. Two more runs scored, one RBI going to Bernie for a single, and another one to Cosmo because Bernie took out Tony Aparicio on the 6 side of a potential 4-6-3 double play, which would have ended the inning. It ended with a Maldonado K instead, but Bernie now had a 4-0 lead and the way he had been pitching –

Well of course he didn’t. It started subtly with walks to Dave Trahan and Greg Aarhus in the bottom 5th, but no runs; Ledford hit his second jack in the sixth, stretching the lead to 5-0, and in the bottom of that inning Mike Sawyer and Jose Farfan reached on soft singles. When Levis grounded to Berto, Berto fudged the ball. Bases loaded, one out, .175 hitter Tony Aparicio up. He was a right-hander; we could bring Soung after that, but didn’t want to waste a righty for one batter, and come on, it’s APARICIO. Berto got the K! – then was whisked (on 99 pitches anyway) for Garavito, who gave up a LOUD drive to right to Trahan. Back to the fence, Ledford, jumping, and – he caught it! OH BOY!!

As things were the Falcons would eventually score, but not until the eighth and in unearned fashion. Levis, Prieto’s runner was on second base with one out when Trahan flew out to Maldonado against Soung. Levis went for third base, Maldonado’s throw was no bueno, and Levis scored while Berto chased after the ball in foul ground. Soung angrily carved up Fabien Ugolino to end the inning. That was all though, with the Raccoons maintaining control until the end, even if the offense went to bed after the quick middle-inning sprint. 5-1 Furballs! Ledford 2-3, BB, 2 HR, 3 RBI; Myers 2-3; Chavez 5.2 IP, 4 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 3 K, W (1-2); Soung 1.2 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 1 K;

Aarhus is a place in Denmark and not the one his family is said to hail from.

They’re from Aalborg.

Game 2
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Hooge – 1B Stedham – C Morales – SS Williams – P Sparkes
CHA: 2B O. Aguirre – C Sawyer – 3B Farfan – 1B Levis – SS Aparicio – RF Trahan – LF Aarhus – CF Ugolino – P J. Nelson

While Sparkes whiffed five against two hits in the first three innings, the Raccoons had only a Williams double to show for against Nelson, but the fourth began with a Cosmo walk on four pitches, and Manny quickly singled him to third base. Greenway’s strikeout, Hooge’s pop, and Stedham lining out to Levis stranded the two runners right where they were. In turn the Falcons got Jose Farfan on with a leadoff single, he stole second, reached third on Morales’ terrible throw, and then scored on Levis’ grounder, putting Charlotte up 1-0. To add insult, Tony Aparicio homered right after that, while the Raccoons couldn’t score Elijah Williams even when he hit a screaming 1-out triple in the fifth. Nobody on the Raccoons seemed to be able to cobble anything together, and they soon arrived in the ninth inning in a game that just breezed by them. There they faced, Josh Livingston, once not the answer to any good question in the brown shirt. At least he was a right-hander tasked with defending a 2-0 lead against an array of lefty bats. Manny walked to get things underway, but then impatient poking led to two fielder’s choice plays, doing nothing greater than replacing Manny with Hooge at first base. Stedham grounded out to Farfan, ending this game in defeat. 2-0 Falcons. Williams 2-3, 3B, 2B;

Cosmo’s hitting streak ended at 13 games.

Game 3
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – CF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – 1B Maldonado – LF Ledford – SS Myers – C Kilmer – P Ottinger
CHA: 2B O. Aguirre – C Sawyer – 3B Farfan – 1B Levis – SS Aparicio – CF J. Reyna – RF C. Robinson – LF Nuno – P Pedraza

Rubber game time saw Ottie opposing Pedraza on three days’ rest. Portland got the quick jump for sure, with Berto singling, stealing second base, and scoring on a Manny single. Greenway then pumped a homer over the farthest-away fence, 3-0, and with two outs Ledford walked and Oscar Aguirre fumbled Myers’ grounder for an error, but he would handle Jeff Kilmer’s ball to end the inning. Ottie had a scoreless first, then singled and stole a base in the top 2nd – oh yeah! Just like Jonny Toner!! … Cosmo would walk and both advanced on Manny’s groundout, after which Greenway pushed a ball through the not exactly Gold Glove material Doug Levis for two 2-out runs. …and then the Falcons socked Ottie for three in the bottom 2nd. Jonathan Reyna doubled to right (poor play by Greenway, though), and scored on Chris Robinson’s single through the wide-open left side. Federico Nuno also got on, a walk to Aguirre filled them up, and Mike Sawyer hit a 2-out, 2-run single. Farfan walked, but Levis grounded out to end the dismal inning.

After that slip and a double play he hit into in the third inning, I made some reconsiderations on the Toner comparisons again, but the defense was also no actual help in any way, also when the Falcons tied the score at five in the bottom 4th, AND had a runner thrown out at home plate. The balls were just dropping in everywhere, and most damage was again done by the bottom of the order.

Ottie batted in another run to take 6-5 lead in the top 5th, scoring Maldonado and his leadoff double with a 2-out single of his own, and maybe people would stop walking the #8 guy intentionally ahead of him at some point. For now, Berto clipped an RBI single past Aguirre, 7-5, and Cosmo broke the score open with a triple in the right-center gap, 9-5, but, well, that was the Coons’ second big lead of the day already… Ottinger went back to the mound, got humped some more, and retired after four+ dismal innings with an Aparicio single and Reyna RBI triple in the bottom 5th. Nobody made ANY play behind him (the BABIP for Ottie in this game was a dreadful .500). Garavito conceded the runner on third with nobody out, which was not exactly reason to part the old man’s skull with an axe, but it was now a 9-7 affair and the pitching and defense were wearing on me, and the old Falcons scout that sat next to me at the bar – or at least I thought so. Only later did I realize he had taken his hearing aids out after two innings.

By the seventh the lead was melting faster again. Tony Aparicio (!?) hit another homer off Citriniti, and Reyna doubled, all with no outs. Soung came on, got a grounder from Robinson that moved the tying run to third base, but then struck out Nuno and Ugolino to tell off the Falcons. The bags were then full in the top 8th on a bloop single by Cosmo, Greenway walking, and Maldonado singling off Raul de la Rosa. Ledford would have been great to have hit against the righty here, but had been culled in a double switch a bit earlier. Tony Morales hit for Soung, and battled out a full count for a bases-loaded walk, giving the Critters their first run since the fifth, and their tenth in the game, 10-8. Myers struck out, Kilmer grounded out, inning over.

Portland figured they had just enough pitchers left to cover two innings competently, with Prieto and Campbell lining up. Williams replaced Berto for defense when Prieto came in, which seemed to pay off immediately when Aguirre was retired on a slow roller to third base that Myers played very well and with great experience. This was a double-benefit given that Prieto was later socked for back-to-back doubles by Sawyer and Farfan and the lead was again scrubbed down to one run, with the tying run stranded at third base. No offense came forth in the top 9th, but Campbell opened the bottom of the inning with a Reyna grounder, then got into the left-handed bats at the bottom of the order. Robinson struck out, Nuno grounded out, and this game was barely put into the books as a W. 10-9 Critters. Ramos 2-5, RBI; Trevino 2-5, BB, 3B, 2 RBI; Greenway 2-4, BB, HR, 4 RBI; Maldonado 2-5, 2B;

Ottinger was socked for seven runs total, while batting 2-for-3 with an RBI. Ouch. Garavito got the W.

In other news

April 20 – Dallas’ 2B Hugo Acosta (.407, 0 HR, 8 RBI) has four hits and 5 RBI in a 15-3 drubbing of the Wolves.
April 21 – ATL SP Danny Orozco (1-1, 1.80 ERA) 2-hits the Condors in a narrow 1-0 win, striking out five and walking nobody.
April 22 – PIT CL Andy Hyden (0-1, 2.84 ERA, 5 SV) shuts down the Rebels in a 7-5 victory, nailing his 300th career save; 295 of those had come with the Cyclones. Hyden, 32, was the 2030 FL Rookie of the Year and had a 2.94 career ERA and as of today 666 career strikeouts.
April 22 – The Wolves have a scare when SP Phil Harrington (1-1, 1.40 ERA), routine Pitcher of the Year, leaves his start early with an oblique issue, but he should not miss more than one game.
April 23 – Atlanta acquires defensively challenged 2B Jesus Matos (.296, 2 HR, 10 RBI) from the Warriors, parting with OF Justin Simmons (.358, 1 HR, 3 RBI).
April 23 – Sacramento rookie LF/RF Mike Preble (.263, 2 HR, 4 RBI) hits his second career homer for all the scoring in a 1-0 win over Topeka.
April 23 – In a 13-0 rout of the Gold Sox, PIT C Kurt Wall (.333, 2 HR, 17 RBI) has four hits, including a homer and a double, and 6 RBI.
April 24 – The Gold Sox acquire 1B/C Jeff Wilson (.333, 3 HR, 16 RBI) from the Scorpions, parting with SP Gabriel Lara (0-3, 6.75 ERA).
April 24 – LVA SS/2B Chris O’Keefe (.297, 3 HR, 16 RBI) will miss at least a month with a broken foot.
April 25 – The Warriors’ new acquisition, OF Justin Simmons (.349, 1 HR, 4 RBI), will be out for three weeks with a cracked rib.

FL Player of the Week: WAS OF/1B Scott Martin (.412, 6 HR, 18 RBI), pushing .583 (14-24) with 4 HR, 5 RBI
CL Player of the Week: NYC LF/RF Andy Montes (.435, 2 HR, 5 RBI), hitting .571 (8-14) with 2 HR, 4 RBI in reduced hours

Complaints and stuff

Thankfully, Monday is off because our pen needs it. The pitching and defense have not been all that great, and we knew about the defense beforehand, but the pitching … eeeek.

We are first to 100 runs scored (101 precisely), which isn’t something that I ever remember happening. But were’s also at best average in many important pitching categories, fifth in starters’ ERA, sixth in bullpen ERA, and seventh in defensive efficiency. That’s still a +29 run differential, but I can’t help but be worried… especially with the damn Elks behind us by only two games *and* with a weekend set in Elk City coming up at the end of the road trip. Before that the scheduling gods have put a Bayhawks series at the Bay, so the next week could get super ugly.

Nothing good has ever happened at the Bay, and I hate not being near my players when they’re shifting horse manure in the frozen tundra of Polarland. I like to yell at them in person.

And they like to keep nomming while I do that.

Fun Fact: Jerry Outram leads the CL with 20 RBI and is a challenger for the batting race with a .397 clip.

Nobody on the damn Elks is even remotely near him in any category. It would be a shame if a pitch broke his jaw. I mean, accidents happen.

(makes a few notes, then closes notebook) Alright, what’s for dinner?

(eyes narrow to slits and the snout slowly shifts into a devilish grin)

[Westheim]

Raccoons (14-4) @ Bayhawks (9-9) – April 27-29, 2038

For three years in a row, the Raccoons had always won five of nine games from the Bayhawks, but it had hardly ever been easy, because some amount of games would take place at the Bay, and, invariably, nothing good had ever happened at the Bay. While the Raccoons were tops in runs scored (!!) in the CL, the Bayhawks had allowed the fewest runs, so here was a scenario of irresistible force vs. immovable object. They were ninth in runs scored (Coons: 3rd in runs allowed), had neither speed nor power, but the best defense in the CL, which was unfortunately a big deficiency for Portland…

Projected matchups:
Josh Weeks (1-0, 6.28 ERA) vs. Gilberto Rendon (0-1, 6.23 ERA)
Raffaello Sabre (2-0, 2.84 ERA) vs. Ryan Kinner (2-0, 0.36 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (1-2, 4.91 ERA) vs. Rick Haugh (0-0, 2.70 ERA)

SP Josh Long was on the DL, and we might see the spot start by Rick Haugh on Thursday, or Lorenzo Viamontes (1-3, 3.52 ERA). Either one was right-handed; in fact all their starters coming up were right-handed. Another player on the DL for them was OF Edgardo Balderrama, batting .409 before straining an oblique.

Game 1
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Maldonado – C Morales – SS Myers – 1B Stedham – P Weeks
SFB: CF M. Castillo – 2B Schneller – RF Hennessy – LF D. Martinez – SS Greer – 1B McGrath – C Kennett – 3B Deming – P G. Rendon

Neither team had more than one hit in the first three innings; while the Raccoons wasted it on a Morales single that ended up with Stedham having two on and two outs and whiffing pathetically, the Bayhawks got theirs on a Mel Castillo double in the bottom 3rd, plating Sonny Deming, who had walked, from second base for the first run of the game. Weeks kept stumbling over his own paws, walking a pair to begin the bottom 4th before getting a much-desired double play grounder that Dave Myers stretched for, then allowed a 1-out single to ex-Critter Gilberto Rendon in the fifth that saw former Indian Dan Schneller nicked with two outs. Bobby Hennessy singled to left, the Bayhawks sent Rendon around third base, and he was thrown out by Manny Fernandez. Manny then swiftly put the Critters on the board as they took a 2-1 lead in the sixth inning on back-to-back bombs to rightfield by him and Troy Greenway, when nothing more out-of-the-blue could have happened at that point, with Rendon seemingly in control with two hits and six strikeouts on his ledger.

Marshall Greer walked in the bottom 6th and was caught stealing, while Rendon was knocked out when Myers opened the seventh with a double. Southpaw Adam Moran got Jesse Stedham to fly out to right before giving up a gapper to Weeks for a blinding RBI triple…! Berto was nicked on the first pitch, but Cosmo landed the RBI single to cash the pitcher. A soft single by Manny loaded the bases, and the Raccoons were ready for the knockout (or at least I was), but had to settle for a sac fly when Greenway flew out to Hennessy. Maldonado however singled, 6-1, and the inning only ended when new pitcher Steven Wilson got Tony Morales to pop out to short. The game looked in the bag – despite Josh Weeks being anything but sharp, the Raccoons got him through eight innings in this game. Ben Feist would pitch the ninth, getting around a leadoff walk drawn by Mario Hurtado to put the W in the books. 6-1 Critters. M. Fernandez 2-4, HR, RBI; Maldonado 2-4, 2B, RBI; Myers 1-2, 2 BB, 2B; Weeks 8.0 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 4 BB, 4 K, W (2-0) and 1-2, BB, 3B, RBI;

Berto was 0-for-4 with an error in this game. Watching him struggle made me sad inside.

That walk off Feist was the last appearance for Mario Hurtado with the Bayhawks. He was traded downstate to L.A. overnight for C Robbie Sailas, who had hit .283 with 14 homers for the Pacifics last year before getting dumped into AAA this season, and and unranked pitching prospect, Josh Wilkes, who looked like he could have a lengthy relief career ahead of him.

Hurtado had batted only 4-for-10 for San Fran, so both teams got rid of unwanted toys here.

Game 2
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Maldonado – C Morales – SS Myers – 1B Stedham – P Sabre
SFB: CF M. Castillo – 2B Schneller – 1B McGrath – LF D. Martinez – SS Greer – C Sailas – RF Hennessy – 3B Deming – P Kinner

Berto drew a walk to begin this game, but couldn’t get a steal off despite a visible urge to do so. Blame was on Cosmo Trevino, who hit a homer to right on the 1-0 pitch, putting Portland up 2-0. We’d get another run in the next inning; Tony Morales hit a double to open it and was on third base when Ryan Kinner inexplicably threw a wild pitch to Raffaello Sabre with two outs and two strikes. Sabre gave up a run on doubles by Greer and Sailas in the bottom of the inning. Hennessy also singled, but that was not enough to score Sailas, and a poor grounder by Deming and a K to Kinner without any funny accidents ended the inning with Portland still up 3-1.

Dan Schneller cut the gap in half with a solo homer in the bottom 3rd, which was nothing you wouldn’t expect from him having worked Raccoons pitchers with hammers for a living with Indy for the last six years. Speaking of hammers, Sabre took one to the head when Robbie Sailas hit a blast to right in the bottom 4th. That one came with Greer on base and gave the lead to San Fran, 4-3. Sabre wouldn’t make it out of the fifth, allowing a run by walking Mel Castillo, who advanced on a grounder, stole third, and scored on a wild pitch (…), and Dave Martinez and Marshall Greer then also reached base again ahead of Sailas, and we couldn’t take any more beatings from that guy. David Fernandez came on, gave up a fly to left, but the other Fernandez was on that and ended the inning. Dennis Citriniti then was demolished for three runs in the bottom 7th, which began with a Castillo triple and never seemed to end. Two runs scored after Garavito had replaced the yanked righty, on a pair of 2-out RBI singles… The Raccoons couldn’t get anybody out anymore and at the same time also couldn’t score anymore. There was the odd single or walk throughout the second half of the game, but they didn’t end the Bayhawks’ string of eight unanswered runs until Troy Greenway lifted a solo homer off Kinner in the ninth. In the bigger picture, that run was moot, though. 8-4 Bayhawks. Hooge (PH) 1-1;

Like I said, nothing good ever happens at the Bay.

Game 3
POR: 2B Trevino – 3B Myers – CF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – 1B Maldonado – C Morales – LF Ledford – SS Williams – P Chavez
SFB: CF M. Castillo – 2B Schneller – 1B McGrath – LF D. Martinez – SS Greer – C Sailas – RF Hennessy – 3B Deming – P Haugh

Jesus Maldonado reached the .400 mark and a 13-game hitting streak when he singled home Troy Greenway and his leadoff double in the top of the second inning. That was the first marker on the board, and two more followed in the inning… after the Raccoons made three outs. Robbie Sailas was the assailant again, hitting a 2-run homer off Bernie Chavez with Greer on base once more. Portland equalized the following half-inning, with Cosmo reaching, stealing, and scoring on a sac fly. Haugh walked Greenway and Maldonado with two outs, but Tony Morales flew out and it was all for nothing.

The 2-2 tie continued while Dave Martinez reached for alleged catcher’s interference (I saw nothing!!) in the bottom 4th. Greer hit into a 6-4-3, which took the sails out of Sailas, too, and the inning ended with no runs scored. The Raccoons stranded their 3-4 batters on the corners in the fifth, where they had ended up with 2-out singles. Maldonado grounded out to short to waste the opportunity. While Bernie lacked stuff, the Bayhawks were also impatient. Through five innings, he threw only 57 pitches and got only two strikeouts. Yay, a complete game in the making? Over my dead body…

The Raccoons took a new lead in the sixth inning. Brad Ledford found the rightfield corner for a 1-out triple, then scored on Elijah Williams’ single before Bernie bunted skillfully into a double play to keep it 3-2. The Bayhawks didn’t; the 3-4-5 went off single, double, RBI single on Bernie to begin the bottom 6th, with a run-scoring double play grounder by Sailas giving them the lead. Poor boy didn’t get an RBI on that one; he had only been credited with six in two damn games so far. The Raccoons seemed beaten this time; after Trevino reached base and was caught stealing they were retired in order in the rest of the seventh, then the eighth, by relievers Adam Moran and Jason Frank. Bottom 8th, the Raccoons gave up an insurance run with Prieto on singles by Dan Schneller and Dave Martinez, with an assist by Manny Fernandez who threw the ball away trying to kill Schneller at third base. Jon Salls retired the Critters in order in the ninth. 5-3 Bayhawks. Trevino 2-5; Greenway 2-3, BB, 2B;

Like I said, nothing good ever –

Somehow neither Yeom Soung nor Jermaine Campbell ever pitches in this series….

Raccoons (15-6) @ Canadiens (14-7) – April 30-May 2, 2038

At least I was at peace; there was no way this series was not going to go horribly wrong. Although – it was in Elk City, and hometeam meltdowns were a notable feature in this perpetual battle to the death. The damn Elks were second in runs scored, so our pitching would remain beleaguered, but they were now also allowing the fewest runs in the league after a dominant display of pitching against the Falcons during the week. The teams had split two games in Portland to begin the season.

Projected matchups:
Bryce Sparkes (2-1, 2.33 ERA) vs. Matt Sealock (2-0, 6.43 ERA)
Jared Ottinger (2-0, 4.24 ERA) vs. Alex Lewis (0-1, 3.14 ERA)
Josh Weeks (2-0, 4.43 ERA) vs. David Arias (1-3, 3.72 ERA)

Sparkes was now the only Raccoons starting hurler with an ERA under four. And Lewis was the only Elks starter that was using the left hoof.

I was in the office on Friday, still banned from entering Tundra Nation after having ripped a laughing kid’s Elks cap from his head and stomping on it (the hat, not the kid) a few decades ago. Canadians were so sensitive …!

Nobody had expected me to come in, so I caught Slappy napping, Maud knitting, and Cristiano doing some sort of video chat with a guy sitting on his bed and wearing only one sock. Worse yet, none of them seemed particularly perturbed by me seeing them not working all too hard. Except for the guy wearing only one sock when I poked my head over Cristiano’s shoulder.

Game 1
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Maldonado – C Morales – SS Myers – 1B Stedham – P Sparkes
VAN: 3B Morrow – 1B J. Lopez – CF Outram – RF R. Phillips – C Clemente – SS Cabral – 2B Sprague – LF LeJeune – P Sealock

Nobody scored the first time through for either team, with Greenway making two great catches to strand a total of three Elks runners in the first two innings. Slappy woke up in the fourth inning, just before Manny Fernandez forced out Cosmo, then scored on Maldonado’s 2-out single for the first run on the board. Greenway would hold the lead together going forwards; while Sparkes was not pitching badly, he had a knack for allowing 2-out drivers with somebody in scoring position. He did that with Jerry Outram (who led the CL with 21 RBI) hitting a drive to deep right in the bottom 5th, and snatched that ball, too, then hit a 2-out solo jack himself in the sixth.

Bottom 6th, things threatened to go south. Ryan Phillips hit a leadoff single, and Sparkes walked Timóteo Clemente. Ramon Cabral grounded out, advancing the runners, but Sparkes then crucially got a K against Glenn Sprague. The Raccoons refused to get beaten by persistent pest Jesse LeJeune, batting .270 and from the left side to boot, and walked him with intent to get to the pitcher Sealock. Sparkes got him to 1-2, then gave up a line drive for a game-tying 2-run single. Eric Morrow struck out after that, but my black googly eyes were already wet at that point.

The next three innings saw no offensive heroics; for Portland, Yeom Soung, Ben Feist, and Mauricio Garavito held the tie. The Raccoons and Elks ended up in extras, with the Critters again retired in order in the 10th. Johnny Lopez would hit a leadoff single against David Fernandez in the bottom 10th, but was doubled up by Outram, who had yet to ram out anything. Cosmo hit a leadoff single off righty Marcos Ochoa, in his second frame of duty, in the 11th, then was forced out by Manny’s grounder to Sprague. A wild pitch moved Fernandez to second, and Greenway to first by intentional walk. Maldonado struck out, Morales grounded out, and they would have to try again in the 12th, then with Elijah Williams reaching via leadoff walk off Ochoa. Stedham struck out as he continued to drop into an ever deeper hole, Hooge grounded out, and Jeff Kilmer, batting for David Fernandez in the #1 hole, walked. Cosmo pushed a 2-out single past Brian Schneider at short, and Williams raced home with reckless abandon, breaking a very persistent tie for a 2-out run! Manny grounded out, bringing in Campbell for the bottom 12th. Morrow hit a single with two outs, but Lopez struck out to put the game away. 3-2 Furballs! Trevino 3-5, BB, RBI; Maldonado 2-5, RBI; D. Fernandez 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 1 K, W (1-0);

12 innings, seven hits, one W. I’ll take it.

But I’d also take a cozy 9-1 win on Saturday.

Game 2
POR: 2B Trevino – 3B Myers – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – 1B Maldonado – CF Hooge – C Kilmer – SS Williams – P Ottinger
VAN: 3B Morrow – 1B J. Lopez – CF Outram – RF R. Phillips – C Clemente – SS Cabral – 2B Sprague – LF A. Perez – P A. Lewis

The offense had a good start, plating three runs in the first inning on Lewis. Cosmo hit a leadoff single, Myers walked, and when Cosmo tried to steal third base, Clemente threw the ball away to allow him to score. Maldonado’s 2-out RBI double and Hoogey’s RBI single then made it 3-0. For even better news, Ottie allowed only one runner on a leadoff walk to Phillips in the second, and Timóteo Clemente hit into a double play right away. He didn’t get a strikeout until Outram fell victim to him in the fourth, but he also didn’t try to break the defenders’ little necks, getting plenty of cozy bouncers and pops in the early going. The first major complaint about Ottie would come in the fifth when he bunted poorly and got Williams forced out, then tried to make up for it by stealing second, but was caught and thrown out by Clemente.

Then Phillips walked, Clemente singled, and Cabral walked, loading the bags with the tying runs and nobody out. Sprague hit a sac fly to right on 3-1, and I rolled into a ball with Ottinger suddenly having turned sour from one inning to the next. Crucially though, Alex Perez struck out, and Lewis made an easy third out, stranding the tying runs. Outram tripled to center in the sixth, but with two outs and nobody aboard, and was stranded by Phillips’ grounder. On to the seventh, Maldonado and Kilmer went to the corners with one out. We might have hit Berto for Williams here – but not with a southpaw on the mound. Williams hit a fly near the leftfield line, Perez hustled and tried to reach it instead of playing it safe, didn’t make it and then was lucky that the ball struck his arm on the bounce and didn’t get into the corner; it was still an RBI double, bringing up Ottie in a 4-1 game with runners on second and third and one out. Ottie was of course a really good hitting pitcher, .250 this season in 12 at-bats, but a spiffy .328 for his career (119 at-bats). There was no pinch-hitting for that guy… but he struck out. Cosmo grounded out to third, and the runners were stranded. Ottinger was knocked out in the bottom of the inning when Sprague and Perez hit 2-out singles, the latter of the infield variety, and left-handed Fernando Alba batted for Lewis. David Fernandez came on, served up a hovering baseball that was hit 430 feet, and the game was tied.

Fernandez walked Lopez and allowed a single to Outram in the eighth, then mishandled PH Jay Elder’s comebacker for an error. Lopez scored, after which Prieto barely restored order, getting a fly from Clemente and a double play from Cabral. The Raccoons were facing defeat now, though, and had to score a run off Tim Zimmerman (2.61 ERA) in the ninth, but were retired in order. 5-4 Canadiens. Myers 2-4; Maldonado 2-4, 2B, RBI; Williams 2-3, 2B, RBI;

Yes, Maud, I would love to take a swing at the fruit basket. – (bites into lemon)

Game 3
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Maldonado – C Morales – SS Myers – 1B Stedham – P Weeks
VAN: LF A. Perez – 1B J. Elder – CF Outram – C Clemente – 3B Morrow – SS Cabral – RF Pohl – 2B Sprague – P D. Arias

Control completely eluded Weeks, which was so perfect for a rubber game in Elk City. Outram singled in the bottom 1st in a full count, and he walked Clemente and Morrow before Ramon Cabral grounded out to first base to strand all the runners. The Raccoons scratched out the first run, getting a leadoff single from Troy Greenway in the second, then a 2-out single by Myers that dropped in front of Outram. Pat Pohl’s leadoff single in the bottom 2nd dissolved in Sprague’s 6-4-3 grounder, while straight knocks by the 1-2-3 batters in the top 3rd extended the lead to 2-0 for Portland. I was screaming for Greenway to hit a bomb, but he struck out, Maldonado grounded out, and the inning ended. In turn, the bottom 3rd saw Weeks beaten to death with two outs. Outram singled, Clemente walked, and Morrow hit an RBI single. Cabral walked to load the bases, and then Pohl hit a double over Greenway for two runs, flipping the score. It didn’t end, ever. Sprague hit an RBI single, Arias (…) hit an RBI single, and Perez hit an RBI single. That was the end for Weeks, who had his remains scraped off the mound in favor of Citriniti, who allowed another RBI single to Jay Elder – which made for nine straight runners with two outs in the inning, and seven runs – before Outram grounded out.

I didn’t even say anything, I just started to drink everything that got into reach.

Arias was removed when Morales and Myers reached base in the sixth, but Stedham made another out against Juan Melendrez. There was no rally in the team and they’d cash their first losing week, quelle surprise. The Raccoons were never close to scoring a run after the 7-run shellacking and the damn Elks were confident with managing what they had, ending a completely dismal baseball game after just three innings. 7-2 Canadiens. Ramos 2-4; Feist 2.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 0 K;

In other news

April 30 – The Wolves win the completion of a suspended game from the opening week of the season when RF/LF/1B Oliver Witte (.267, 1 HR, 9 RBI) singles C Morgan Kuhlmann (.270, 2 HR, 11 RBI) across for a 6-5 walkoff win, then win another game from the Pacifics, 4-1 in all nine scheduled innings.

FL Player of the Week: SAL C Morgan Kuhlmann (.286, 4 HR, 17 RBI) hitting .526 (10-19), 2 HR, 7 RBI
CL Player of the Week: NYC LF/RF/1B Graciano Salto (.333, 3 HR, 16 RBI) batted .522 (12-23), 1 HR, 4 RBI

FL Hitter of the Month: WAS OF/1B Scott Martin (.379, 6 HR, 18 RBI)
CL Hitter of the Month: VAN CF/RF Jerry Outram (.375, 5 HR, 21 RBI)
FL Pitcher of the Month: RIC SP Ryan Bedrosian (4-1, 1.38 ERA)
CL Pitcher of the Month: VAN SP Eric Weitz (5-0, 2.06 ERA)
FL Rookie of the Month: DEN 1B/C Jeff Wilson (.321, 4 HR, 21 RBI)
CL Rookie of the Month: SFB LF/RF/1B Dave Martinez (.316, 5 HR, 13 RBI)

Complaints and stuff

Four weeks in, all the confidence has dissipated. The rotation is horrendous and gets whacked all the goddamn time. The pen is no help. The team is still first in runs scored, but that is about all they do. Not included: Jesse Stedham, rotting in a 1-for-24 hole.

There are options. Steve Fidler has a 1.13 ERA in St. Petersburg, so he should get a shot at the major league rotation. The only thing is who’s getting dropped. There are … multiple candidates. Maud and Steve from Accounting advised me that Ottie (the only starter on the roster with options and no 10/5 rights) has to remain in the rotation, because we sell 35% more crap from the store in the ballpark when he pitches. Sparkes has a good ERA at least, but there’s Weeks and Bernie Chavez who have gotten nothing but whacked so far. Sabre, too, but he only has the fourth-worst ERA at 4.18….

And well, Steve Fidler is 27 and has never started a game in the majors, but he’s everything I can easily come up with.

That Jeff Wilson that was Rookie of the Month is the same Jeff Wilson we tossed into the Greenway deal last July. He arrived in Denver just a week earlier in the Gabriel Lara trade. Man, to have a hitting first baseman rather than Jesse Stedham now…..

And no, we won’t try Chiyosaku Maruyama for the 29th time.

Fun Fact: 16-8 still means the Raccoons are on pace to match their best ever record of 108-54, achieved in 1996.

They didn’t win anything that year, and then immediately plunged into the Decade of Darkness. It’s also the ONLY 100-win season on record for this ramshackle franchise.

[Westheim]

(wonders at the mysterious markings next to the doorframe) Maud? – Maud! … – Why are there red paw prints on the wall in my office? – What do you mean, “they got into the jello”?

And why is it so dark in here? Why are the blinds down? The blinds are never down, because I want to see the diamond below! – (starts to twiddle up the blinds against somehow stiff resistance) – Yes, Maud, I also see the four paws and the striped tail sticking out of the drawn-up blinds. (tries to reverse the movement while the Critter caught in the blinds struggles and wiggles before the entire construction crashes to the ground) – Hoogey! – (suddenly freed, Ed Hooge gallops out of the room, leaving more red paw prints on the floor)

Slappy, would you …? (points at mess on the floor)

(Slappy wipes across one paw print with a finger before tasting)

FINE. It’s *strawberry*!

Raccoons (16-8) vs. Indians (12-13) – May 3-6, 2038

The Indians had won 10 of 18 games from the Raccoons last year; this was the first meeting between the teams in the not-so-new-anymore season. They were eighth in runs scored with a pathetic .238 batting average. They were seventh in runs allowed, with both rotation and bullpen putting up ERA’s just over four, and they already had a bunch of regulars on the DL with Elliott Thompson, Jose Santillan, and Dave Serrato all out with minor ailments.

Projected matchups:
Raffaello Sabre (2-1, 4.18 ERA) vs. Joe Dishon (1-3, 4.93 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (1-3, 4.97 ERA) vs. Donovan Mason (3-0, 1.93 ERA)
Bryce Sparkes (2-1, 2.45 ERA) vs. Mike Hurley (0-3, 8.87 ERA)
Jared Ottinger (2-0, 4.20 ERA) vs. Joe Robinson (2-2, 2.84 ERA)

Robinson was the only southpaw to expect here. We’d miss the other one, Arnie Terwilliger (2-2, 3.58 ERA).

Game 1
IND: LF Cassell – 3B Hutson – RF Leftwich – CF Baron – 1B Rempfer – C Mordino – 2B Bainer – SS DiGiacomo – P Dishon
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – 1B Maldonado – CF Hooge – SS Myers – C Kilmer – P Sabre

Dan Hutson’s single and Jeremy Leftwich’s double were enough for an Indians run in the top 1st, with Sabre clearly continuing to struggle, and while he got around a throwing error by Berto (oh boy) that put Jeremy Bainer on base in the second, he couldn’t keep Hutson and Leftwich off base; both reached in the top 3rd again, and Brent Rempfer singled home a run with two outs. The Raccoons had yet to find a base runner, with Dave Myers’ leadoff walk in the bottom of the inning serving perfectly fine. Kilmer singled up the middle, and Sabre bunted the tying runs into scoring position, but a sac fly from Ramos was all the Critters got; Cosmo popped out to short to end the inning. Troy Greenway had a single in the fourth that led nowhere, and the Raccoons didn’t reach base at all in the fifth. The most forceful impression was made by Ed Hooge on the centerfield fence, snatching a John Baron drive to the deepest part of the park at full speed, impacting the wall – padded, but, still – and somehow surviving in the top of the fifth inning.

Bainer doubled home Sal Mordino in the sixth, giving Indy a 3-1 lead, and Sabre reached 109 pitches by the conclusion of that frame and wouldn’t be back until Saturday. Maldonado and Garavito committed errors to give the Indians an unearned run an inning later, after which Maldonado hit a soft leadoff single in the bottom 7th. Ed Hooge cracked a homer to right, and somehow that was the first time a baseball made a loud noise against a Furball’s bat. That still left the team 4-3 behind, and they didn’t reach again facing Dishon, who was only lifted after eight innings to bring in southpaw Michael Donovan and his 1.74 ERA in the ninth inning. Greenway grounded out. Maldonado flew to deep right… but into an out. Rich Vickers batted for Hooge and kept the game going with a single past Joe DiGiacomo… but Myers flew out to Ryan Cassell and that was it. 4-3 Indians. Vickers (PH) 1-1;

That game was pathetic front to end.

At least the Elks lost as well and we remained in a tie for first place, one game ahead of the … Loggers??

Game 2
IND: LF Cassell – 3B Hutson – RF Leftwich – CF Baron – 1B Rempfer – C Mordino – 2B Bainer – SS DiGiacomo – P D. Mason
POR: 3B Myers – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Hooge – C Morales – 1B Stedham – SS Williams – P Chavez

Cosmo reached, then was forced out by Manny’s grounder before the Raccoons found a pair of 2-out singles from their 4-5 batters to take a 1-0 lead in the bottom 1st. Jeremy Bainer misjudged his leap on the following Morales liner, which dinked in for another RBI single, and then Jesse Stedham, who had been left unused on Monday, continued his slow rot with a groundout. But Bernie had whiffed two and had allowed nobody on base in the first inning – surely it would all be alright for him today! Brent Rempfer’s homer to center put his ERA over five again in the second inning, but left the Coons 2-1 ahead. In the third inning he nailed Ryan Cassell, then was punished by Hutson’s second homer of the year; that one flipped the score, 3-2.

After nobody else than Stedham brought home Greenway with the tying run in the bottom 3rd, Bernie managed to stop the fireworks long enough for the Critters to give him a new lead in the fourth. Myers singled, stole second, then scored on Cosmo’s single, but Trevino never got a stealing move off and was stranded along with Hooge and his 2-out single. Hoogey defused a Cassell drive with two outs and DiGiacomo on second base in the fifth as it began to rain, and a rain-shortened W beckoned as the best of all outcomes right now. Technically, it would count, since five innings for the visiting team were completed and we had the lead. No substantial downpour occurred, however, and Bernie had to go back out for the sixth against the fat part of the order. Hutson grounded out, getting Bernie’s ERA back under five, and Baron’s 2-out single was all that happened in the inning. Portland scratched out a run on Manny’s single, stolen base, and eventually a sac fly by Hooge, which made it 5-3 after six, while somehow we were out-hitting the Arrowheads 13-4, we just didn’t hit them *out* …

Bernie struck out three right-handers at the bottom of the order (with an in-between single by DiGiacomo) to complete seven innings, which was all anybody dared ask of him. The Raccoons got two outs from David Fernandez before Leftwich singled in the eighth. With John Baron, the righty all-or-nothing guy (.209, 4 HR) up, the Raccoons went to Jermaine Campbell for four outs and no accidents, please. Baron ripped his hardest, eyes closed, at 0-2, hit nothing, and was dismissed to end the inning. Ed Hooge drove in an insurance run, plating Manny Fernandez, in the bottom 8th, remaining unretired in the game and making an audible case for more regular playing time (again!). Not today, though – Campbell axed down the Indians in the ninth, whiffing three of the four batters he faced in this game. 6-3 Raccoons! Myers 3-5; M. Fernandez 2-5; Greenway 2-4; Hooge 4-4, 3 RBI;

Besides Ed Hooge trying to win MVP off the bench, the Elks lost to the Loggers (!), so they were now in a tie for second place and the Raccoons had first place back to themselves.

We continued to weave in some off days; Berto and Maldonado had been sitting out on Tuesday, and Myers, Manny, and Cosmo were on the bench on Wednesday, while the Indians – on a smaller budget – ran out the same lineup for the third day. They didn’t seem to have any other players.

Game 3
IND: LF Cassell – 3B Hutson – RF Leftwich – CF Baron – 1B Rempfer – C Mordino – 2B Bainer – SS DiGiacomo – P Hurley
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Vickers – CF Hooge – RF Greenway – 1B Maldonado – LF Ledford – C Morales – SS Williams – P Sparkes

Their right-hander had his feelings hurleyed early on though, with a 2-out rush by the Critters in the bottom 1st. Hooge doubled because you couldn’t get him out, Greenway singled, and Portland went up 1-0 on a wild pitch. Maldonado singled, and Brad Ledford bashed a 3-piece to right-center, 4-0. Similar picture the inning after, where Hurley got two quick outs before walking Berto, who stole second base, and then Vickers’ single made it 5-0, and Hooge also singled, because you couldn’t get him out. Troy Greenway sure took aim for the fence and hit it in right-center for a 2-run double. Maldonado singled to put runners on the corners, and that was all for Hurley, yanked after 1.2 innings, and seven each in hits and runs once Ledford flew out against southpaw Cesar Castillo.

Then, immediately, Bryce Sparkes seemed to have a stroke, allowing a hit to Cassell and a homer to Hutson in the third. Leftwich reached, scored on a hard-to-watch error by Greenway, completely botching a Rempfer fly ball (those jello claws!!), and Rempfer would also come home on Jeremy Bainer’s single for a 4-run rally just when my guts thought they could stop revolting. A misplay by Castillo in the bottom 3rd helped the Coons load the bases; Morales and Berto reached on their own merit, but Sparkes got on when Castillo misfielded his bunt, thinking he’d get two, and got none. Three on, one out for Rich Vickers, batting .409 in admittedly almost no playing time, but he pushed a grounder through Gold Glover Dan Hutson for an RBI single, 8-4, after which Hoogey was rendered out on a double play grounder that killed the inning.

Ledford flew out on a 3-0 pitch with nobody on in the fourth, which I didn’t like, and Sparkes then had Morales and Williams in scoring position and grounded back to the mound on a 3-0 pitch in the fifth, which I also didn’t like. I didn’t like making outs at 3-0 much at all, but maybe they also had jello in their fuzzy ears…! Berto knocked out the resilient Castillo with a 2-run double, 10-4, but the Indians brought another lefty in Justin Kaiser, who Vickers singled against, now batting .458; Hooge got Berto home with a groundout, and Greenway got Vickers around with a single to right. Maldonado singled, but Ledford flew out to center. It was 12-4, felt like enough for a day, but somehow we still needed 12 outs and Sparkes was on 95 pitches…

Bainer singled up the middle to begin the sixth. Sparkes got a K from the shortstop, then left with left-handed D.J. Mendez pinch-hitting. A double switch brought on Garavito and Stedham (at Ledford’s expense). The former got five outs from five batters, while the latter almost got extra bases in the bottom 6th with a drive that Leftwich robbed him on. Tony Morales had however homered two batters earlier, and the Raccoons were up by nine, so all was dandy, even though the homer came off Mark Roberts, and I was worried the Critters might ruin his Hall of Fame chances by squaring off against him. But he kept himself together and finished the Indians’ pitching allotment while maintaining some dignity. The same couldn’t be said for Dennis Citriniti, who was rushed for three screaming liners, two for extra bases, and two runs in the ninth, and had to be dug out by Yeom Soung. 13-6 Raccoons! Ramos 2-5, BB, 2B, 2 RBI; Vickers 4-5, 2 RBI; Hooge 2-5, 2B, RBI; Greenway 3-5, 2B, 3 RBI; Trevino (PH) 1-1; Morales 3-4, HR, RBI; Garavito 1.2 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 1 K;

While that was a fun amount of offense, the pitching remained crummy. Citriniti’s ERA was now up to 6.59 and he was not going to get many more crappy outings like this one.

Game 4
IND: LF Cassell – 3B Hutson – RF Leftwich – CF Baron – 1B Rempfer – 2B Bainer – C Ebner – SS DiGiacomo – P J. Robinson
POR: 3B Myers – 2B Trevino – RF M. Fernandez – CF Maldonado – LF Hooge – C Kilmer – 1B Stedham – SS Williams – P Ottinger

Ottie had to battle hard and long to get around Ryan Cassell’s leadoff walk and stolen base, but then had a lead in the bottom 1st, which Dave Myers opened with a single before Cosmo hit a ball well over John Baron for an RBI triple. Manny got the run home with a sac fly, 2-0. The Indians would get leadoff hits by DiGiacomo in the third and Leftwich in the fourth and didn’t score those guys, either, but they sure managed to get up Ottinger’s pitch count, which reached 61 after four innings thanks to many long counts. Sean Ebner, not having been seen for three days, hit a leadoff double over Hooge in the fifth… and was stranded as well! But, still, that pitch count…

Dan Hutson’s leadoff single in the sixth marked the fourth inning in a row and fifth time in the game that the Arrowheads got their leadoff man aboard; that was also their grand total of base runners so far. Here, Leftwich lined out to Hooge, Baron hit into a fielder’s choice, then advanced on a wild pitch before Rempfer completed the walk, becoming the first non-leadoff guy to reach for Indy in this game. Ottie was on 87 pitches, but Bainer was batting .172, so even with the tying runs aboard, what could possibly happen? Pop to Elijah Williams at 1-0, inning over! Ottie batted for himself and singled in the bottom 6th, which was actually the first Raccoons base hit since the first inning, then was doubled up on Myers’ 6-4-3. The game remained 2-0 and was by no means in the bag. Ottie retired the 7-8-9 in order (!) in the seventh, an after 102 pitches got the pat on the bum and was invited to watch the rest of the proceedings from the dugout. Things promptly went south with a Leftwich homer off David Fernandez, cutting the gap in half with two outs in the eighth. Ben Feist got Baron to fly out after that. Joe Robinson, not that much talked about, was still working on a 3-hitter, even if so far on the losing end. He nicked Elijah Williams and allowed a pinch-hit single to Greenway in the bottom 8th, but rung up Myers to end the inning. At least Campbell ended the game without calamity. 2-1 Critters. Greenway (PH) 1-1; Ottinger 7.0 IP, 4 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 7 K, W (3-0) and 1-2;

Only four base hits – but a win is a win is a win.

Raccoons (19-9) @ Capitals (20-9) – May 7-9, 2038

Clash of the two teams with the best record so far, and both teams were of similar makeup with a top-notch offense that scored five-ish runs per game doing just enough to overpower so-so pitching. They were second in the FL in runs scored, and tied for fifth in runs allowed. Their rotation was worse than their pen, and they had no speed or defense, but ample power. A pitchers’ massacre was entirely possible, and maybe even likely. These teams hadn’t faced off in the last three seasons, but we had swept the last meeting in 2034.

Projected matchups:
Josh Weeks (2-1, 6.48 ERA) vs. Alfredo Vargas (3-0, 1.89 ERA)
Raffaello Sabre (2-2, 4.25 ERA) vs. Jeff Horstmeier (1-4, 5.60 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (2-3, 4.73 ERA) vs. Michael Frank (1-1, 3.75 ERA)

Southpaw on Sunday; otherwise it was right-handers. There were two other players to watch here. Adam Avakian, that no-good dismal malcontent with no spine or redeeming qualities, batting .297 with 5 HR and 26 RBI. And Justin Fowler, who the Raccoons had turned into Brad Ledford and a pitcher since swamped in St. Petersburg for his deteriorated defense, and who was batting .195 with 3 HR and 9 RBI. Oh boy.

Game 1
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Maldonado – SS Myers – C Morales – 1B Stedham – P Weeks
WAS: RF S. Martin – 2B Falzone – C N. Evans – CF J. Fowler – 1B Avakian – SS A. Castillo – LF Gibbs – 3B Trawick – P A. Vargas

While the Raccoons got two aboard and stranded them in the first inning, the Caps didn’t make an out until way too late, when Weeks was already being dragged to Baltimore under a passing bus. Scott Martin and Rich Falzone led off with singles, then scored on Nate Evans’ triple to right. Fowler and Avakian both walked, and Alex Castillo hit a sac fly before the inning fizzled out on two grounders to short. In other words, not too unusual a first inning for Josh Weeks…

Tony Morales’ solo homer counted for something, but the Raccoons had the tying runs in Myers and Morales on the corners in the fourth (after Maldonado had been caught stealing for the sixth time in 11 tries this year) and one out, when Stedham lined out to short. Weeks was clearly not going to win this game with either arm or stick, but we also didn’t want to burn the bullpen when it would be needed for the next two contests. Everything was terrible, Weeks batted – but not for long, with Tony Morales inexplicably being picked off first base to end the inning. One of THOSE games and I accepted the L at that point.

Then Portland tied it; Cosmo doubled with two outs in the fifth and Manny Fernandez homered, only his second bomb this season, but good enough for 21 RBI, second by Greenway’s 23 on the team. Maldonado reached to begin the sixth, stole second as I squealed, then scored on a grounder and Morales’ sac fly, putting Portland up 4-3. Alex Castillo and Ken Gibbs promptly reached the corners with leadoff singles in the bottom of the inning, because all the baseball gods hated me and liked to see my soul burn. Prieto replaced him, K’ed Jake Trawick, then got a bunt by Vargas, who wasn’t batted for in this fat spot. Scott Martin was the Batter of the Month and hitting .303, but he was still a right-hander and we wouldn’t walk him just to get a .224 lefty up when we had Prieto on the mound, who had enjoyed reasonable suc---- … oh thank goodness, Stedham made it back to catch that terrible blooper right over the line…!!

Berto hit a triple over Fowler’s head in the seventh, but was stranded by Cosmo (comebacker) and Manny (K). Portland went through three relievers in the bottom 7th; Garavito put Nate Evans on base. Feist put PH Allen Retzer on base. Soung came in for PH Kelvin Winborn in the #6 spot with two on and two gone, ran a full count, then rung him up with the high heat! Soung dealt with the eighth, too, while the Raccoons were searching for an insurance run. Morales reached on a Yukitsura Hirai error to begin the ninth; Brad Ledford was the fastest guy on the bench and pinch-ran for Tony. Jesse Allison struck out Stedham, but allowed an RBI single to PH Rich Vickers (batting .481!), who was forced out on Berto’s grounder. Runners were on the corners with two outs for Trevino, but his fly to left was caught by Gibbs near the line. Worse yet, Jermaine Campbell walked Falzone to begin the bottom 9th …! But he also rung up Evans and Fowler (0-for-4, 3 K ) before Retzer grounded out to Trevino. 4-3 Raccoons. Maldonado 2-4; Morales 2-3, HR, 2 RBI; Vickers (PH) 1-1;

At this point the Raccoons a) had the best record in baseball, and b) were assured of the CL North lead through the weekend, with both Loggers and Elks having fallen 2 1/2 games out. Everybody else was at least twice as far behind.

Fun fact: Jeff Horstmeier had been a potential return rather than Steve Fidler during the Fowler trade. Now I was rather glad with what we had and hadn’t gotten.

Game 2
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Maldonado – SS Myers – C Morales – 1B Stedham – P Sabre
WAS: CF S. Martin – 2B Falzone – C N. Evans – 1B Avakian – 3B Trawick – LF Gibbs – SS A. Castillo – RF Winborn – P Horstmeier

Of course, Horstmeier was perfect the first time through (still not enough to get the ERA under five) and while Sabre also didn’t allow a run the first time through the order, there was a walk here, a single there, and with two outs in the bottom 3rd, a solo homer by Scott Martin, but technically that was the second time through the order… Cosmo was the Raccoons’ first runner, reaching on a Falzone error in the fourth and being stranded, after which Horstmeier was untouched again until it was *Sabre* to break up the no-hitter with a 1-out single in the sixth. That also made him the second time the tying run had come on base. Cosmo singled after a fly to center by Berto, but Manny kept hitting balls right at people and flew out to Winborn, stranding two. Three singles scratched out a run for the Caps in the bottom 6th, and then Winborn found the gap for a 2-out, 2-run double, which basically put the game away for good.

Troy Greenway hit a jack to begin the seventh, his seventh, but, eh. The game was in the bin. Then Horstmeier nicked Myers. Stedham hit a 2-out single. Ledford batted for Sabre and hit an RBI single. Suddenly the tying runs were on base! Berto walked, knocking out Horstmeier for righty Ruben Vela, who had an ERA even higher and seemed like a strange choice. Also a bad one; Cosmo shot a ball into the corner on a 2-0 pitch that came down the middle very obviously, and the tying runs scored on the double. Berto stumbled around second base, costing the Raccoons the lead, and Manny, well, kept hitting balls right at people, in this case Falzone for the third out.

After Greenway held both David Fernandez and Dennis Citriniti together and stranded Scott Martin on third base with a splendid running grab on PH Allen Retzer (hitting for Avakian, which was a strange choice even against Fernandez), he hit a leadoff single off Vela in the eighth. Maldonado flew out, but Dave Myers doubled in right-center, putting the go-ahead run on third base. Morales struck out, Stedham grounded out, and the go-ahead run retreated to the dugout. The game then found its way into extra innings, where Myers hit a 2-out double off lefty Francisco Colmenarez. Tony Morales was hitless in the game and Jeff Kilmer batted for him, slushing a single up the middle to bring home Myers and to break the 4-4 tie …! Stedham popped out, and Campbell was not available after three outings in four days. Instead we brought in Prieto, with three right-handed bats scheduled for the bottom 10th. Nate Evans crashed a ball to deep left that Manny picked off the fence, Retzer cracked a sharp single to center, and Trawick fired a hard bouncer at third base. Now, crucially, Rich Vickers had stayed in the game after having pinch-hit earlier. Cosmo had shifted to third base and Ramos was gone – and Cosmo handled the ball perfectly and started a 5-4-3 to end the game! 5-4 Raccoons!! Trevino 2-4, BB, 2B, 2 RBI; Greenway 2-5, HR, RBI; Myers 2-4, 2 2B; Kilmer (PH) 1-1, RBI; Ledford (PH) 1-1;

By the skin of their teeth, yet again!

Game 3
POR: 3B Myers – 2B Trevino – RF Greenway – CF Maldonado – LF Hooge – C Kilmer – 1B Stedham – SS Williams – P Chavez
WAS: CF S. Martin – 2B Falzone – C N. Evans – 1B Avakian – 3B Trawick – LF Gibbs – SS A. Castillo – RF Winborn – P M. Frank

For the second straight game the Raccoons started by making a string of outs, but at least got going sooner. Stedham hit a leadoff single in the third, only to be forced out by Williams, who was then bunted to second base by Bernie. Myers drove in the run with two outs, then scored on Trevino’s double. The bags filled up with a single and a hit Maldonado, but Hooge grounded out to Falzone to leave them stacked. Myers and Trevino would also land base hits in the fifth without being scored by anybody, and there was also a 38-minute rain delay in the inning, sent by the kind baseball gods to make sure they’d mess up Bernie, who so far had a 2-hitter with 2 K on 46 pitches, but retired Winborn, Frank, and Martin on six pitches in the fifth, so maybe once we’d get out alive…!

No. Well. At least Bernie got some scuff marks. Come the sixth, Avakian, Trawick, and Gibbs ripped straight singles off Bernie, scoring a run and threatening to do more damage. David Fernandez replaced him and got the K on Alex Castillo, preserving a 2-1 lead for the moment. The seventh was uneventful, but the eighth saw Hooge reach base against Jesse Allison. He stole second, Kilmer walked, but Stedham fanned. Berto batted for Williams with two outs to counter Allison as we were hungry for an insurance run, since four straight 1-run wins seemed unlikely and the pen was thin. Berto came through with a gapper in left-center; Ken Gibbs, a Gold Glover, cut off the ball before it could have scored Kilmer, but Hooge was across on the double to extend the lead to 3-1! Manny then hit for David Fernandez, but his rotten luck continued with a fly to Winborn.

The pen turned out to be too thin. Ben Feist put two runners on base in the bottom 8th, and Mauricio Garavito fanned the flames with all he had, giving up a game-tying triple to Gibbs and two more runs on another three base knocks by Castillo, former Coons farmhand Hirai, and Martin. The Raccoons had no answer against Ruben Vela in the ninth and lost. 6-3 Capitals. Myers 2-5, RBI; Trevino 2-5, 2B, RBI; Greenway 2-5; Ramos (PH) 1-1, 2B, RBI;

In other news

May 4 – Crusaders outfielder Tony Coca (.227, 0 HR, 2 RBI) lands two base hits and gets an RBI in an 11-9 loss to the Titans. His eighth-inning single off BOS MR Tony Rivas (0-1, 3.86 ERA) is the 37-year-old’s 2,000th career hit. Coca has amassed four Platinum Sticks, a Gold Glove, and was an All Star seven times while batting .252 with 280 homers and 1,191 RBI since 2022. He also has 232 career stolen bases.
May 5 – SAL 1B/LF/RF Jose Rivera (.333, 5 HR, 16 RBI) drives in five runs in the Wolves’ 16-6 beating of the Gold Sox.
May 6 – The Crusaders trade LF/RF Andy Montes (.419, 2 HR, 12 RBI) to the Buffaloes for INF/RF/LF Omar Freeman (.182, 0 HR, 1 RBI) and #66 prospect CL John Steuer, who has now been traded four times since being drafted #17 overall not even three years ago, including both to and from New York in ’37!
May 6 – The Bayhawks acquire INF Joel Hernandez (.316, 0 HR, 11 RBI) for INF Mike Moran (.250, 0 HR, 1 RBI), who is shipped to the Gold Sox. Neither player was a regular so far this year.
May 8 – LVA 2B/1B Mario Briones (.313, 3 HR, 18 RBI) was going to miss six weeks with a broken wrist.

FL Player of the Week: PIT 1B Danny Santillano (.342, 4 HR, 20 RBI), who hit .440 (11-25) with 3 HR and 10 RBI
CL Player of the Week: OCT OF Nate Shamhart (.322, 3 HR, 11 RBI), batting .435 (10-23) with 3 HR and 5 RBI

Complaints and stuff

Thursday’s save was the 300th of Jermaine Campbell’s career. Only six of them came with the Critters, but he’s under contract for a while and we’re patient.

The Loggers have won 12 of their last 13 games. I mean, … what?? They were doing it on offense; just this Sunday, their 3-0 win over the Wolves ended a string of 14 straight games in which they plated at least four runs each. We’d see them in the middle of the month.

Still first in runs scored, pitching still sucks. The defense is near the bottom of the league, but I called Gianni at the docks, and the guy he set me up with refused to dispose of Alberto Ramos (-5.7 ZR in 23 games) in an innocent accident involving a chainsaw hidden in a bowling ball because his kid was an ardent Berto fan.

Oh well, back to the drawing board!

Weeks and Citriniti are close to getting disposed of, too. Neither of them have options. Weeks has 10/5 rights. Removing Weeks from the rotation would kill his vesting option for ’39, so there’s some motivation to get me creative.

Did I just mention Gianni by name? Uh - … Uh - … I mean… I mean Karl. Karl at the … at the … the pharmacy!

Off day on Monday, then a week-long homestand with the Stars and Crusaders. We won’t have another off day until the 27th after that, so I hope the pitching gets sorted out by itself, or I’ll have to get involved…

Fun Fact: 34 years ago today, on May 9, 2004, the Pacifics’ Juan Martinez landed six hits in an 11-9 win over the Bayhawks.

Martinez, a seventh-rounder from 1995 that was mostly a third baseman in his career, was a rule 5 pick that year at age 27, and a part-time player at that. He hit all of .223 with a lone homer and 18 RBI the entire season for a .548 OPS and a 49 OPS+. Despite solid defense, he cost his team half a WAR by playing in not even a third of their games. He then disappeared promptly in AAA again. He was an occasional backup with the Warriors in the late 2000s, and had one final job with the Bayhawks in 2010, hitting .215 with no homers in almost 200 at-bats. That was his final engagement in the majors.

His final career slash line was .245/.288/.326 with 5 HR and 114 RBI in 1,058 AB. In an 18-year professional career, Martinez was never traded or claimed off waivers. He was just let go a lot.

[Westheim]

Monday was off, with old friend Matt Nunley coming by and presenting the newest model of BBQ grills he was promoting.

We expected the team to play slooowly on Tuesday.

Raccoons (21-10) vs. Stars (16-15) – May 11-13, 2038

The Stars were third in the FL West, fourth in runs scored and third from the bottom in runs allowed, which was no surprise given their shoebox of a ballpark. Surprisingly they were first in stolen bases in the league, with *51* bases taken in just 31 games. For comparison, the Raccoons led the CL in stolen bases, with a paltry 29. And silly us thought that one base per game was about as it good as it got …! These teams had met last season, with the Raccoons sweeping the series.

Projected matchups:
Bryce Sparkes (3-1, 2.58 ERA) vs. Mario Bojorques (3-2, 5.15 ERA)
Jared Ottinger (3-0, 3.41 ERA) vs. Antonio Vega (3-3, 4.78 ERA)
Josh Weeks (3-1, 6.30 ERA) vs. Joe Murphy (0-1, 5.10 ERA)

All right-handed pitchers here.

The thing was that offense played best in their ballpark, but speed played the same everywhere. This had the potential to get ugly.

Game 1
DAL: CF M. Fuentes – SS J. Ramos – 2B H. Acosta – 1B A. Zacarias – C Zarate – LF Nieves – RF Korecky – 3B Olea – P Bojorques
POR: 3B A. Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Maldonado – SS Myers – C Morales – 1B Stedham – P Sparkes

The top three in that lineup all had 11+ stolen bases, while the Raccoons had nobody in double digits. Jon Ramos and Hugo Acosta promptly reached base on singles in the first, but when they tried to go for the double steal, Ramos was thrown out by Tony Morales, short-circuiting their inning once Alex Zacarias flew out to Manny. The Raccoons had a Berto single in the bottom 1st, but he never got off first base, while Will Korecky hurt himself on a Fernandez drive and had to be replaced by Miguel Velasquez, who hit a sac fly after Danny Zarate and Marco Nieves had gone to the corners with leadoff singles in the top 2nd. Nieves would hit a 2-run homer with Zarate aboard in the fourth, giving the Stars a sizable 3-0 lead over Raccoons that hadn’t reached base since the Berto single in the first, and when they did with a Cosmo single in the bottom 4th, Manny hit into a double play.

And they didn’t get more productive afterwards, either… Andy Olea’s solo homer in the seventh extended the lead to 4-0 on Bryce Sparkes, who fought valiantly, but in vain. The Raccoons didn’t score until the bottom 7th, with Cosmo and Maldonado landing base hits to scratch out one run, but one run was not enough. Danny Zarate countered with another solo homer in the top 8th, knocking out Sparkes for good, and while the Raccoons scratched out a run in the bottom 9th against Paul Metzler when Cosmo singled again, stole his 9th base, and was brought home by Greenway with a sac fly, that was absolutely all the team managed to cook up in six innings. 5-2 Stars. Trevino 3-4;

I blame Matt Nunley!

Game 2
DAL: CF M. Fuentes – SS J. Ramos – 2B H. Acosta – 1B A. Zacarias – LF Nieves – RF Velasquez – C Huichapa – 3B Harroun – P A. Vega
POR: 3B Myers – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – SS Maldonado – CF Hooge – C Morales – 1B Stedham – P Ottinger

Ottie was torn up right away, with Manuel Fuentes and Jon Ramos opening and reaching the corners with singles. A sac fly, Ramos’ stolen base, and a Nieves single got the runner across for a 2-0 lead. While unwatchable on the mound and issuing four singles and three walks in the first two innings alone, Ottie also had the only Raccoons hit the first time through, a 2-out single in the third that led nowhere. It followed Tony Morales’ leadoff walk and Jesse Stedham’s prompt double play grounder.

Then both teams got stupid. The Stars started to swing and pop out in 3-ball counts against Ottinger in the middle innings, and the ****ing Raccoons did the same…! Maldonado was on second base with nobody out in the bottom 5th, having stolen his way there, and both Ed Hooge and Tony Morales swung at 3-0 pitches and made outs. I was screaming the first time, but my jaw got unhinged the second time and I just sat there, snout agape, for the next two innings, and no, dismal Jesse Stedham didn’t plate Maldonado, either. Ottinger battled his guts out for six and a third before being yanked after both Vega (…) and Fuentes reached base. David Fernandez got out of the inning on a pop and a fly to left, but the Raccoons were yet waiting on their third base hit. And somehow it was still a 2-0 game, but it felt a lot worse. Manny opened the bottom 7th with a double to right, and it still felt nothing like slugging toy Troy being the tying run at the plate. He lined out to Hugo Acosta, but Maldonado snapped an RBI single to left-center. Hoogey fell to 1-2 before hitting a ball to right-center. Loud ball! Long ball! GONE BALL!! A score-flipping 2-run homer by Ed Hooge! Coons back in business!!

And then Zacarias hit a leadoff jack off Prieto in the eighth and it was all gone again. Tied at three, Nieves got on base, stole second and reached third on an error. Soung gave up a 2-out liner to PH Orlando Ortiz – but Stedham snagged it. At least his glove worked… That inning ended, and Myers and Trevino occupied the corners with leadoff singles in the bottom 8th! Manny Fernandez lined out, Greenway hit into a double play, and the agony had me roar. Soung had the Stars under control in the ninth, though, and the Raccoons could walk off if they could cobble a run together with the bottom-ish part of the order against righty Orlando Leos and his 0.77 ERA. Maldonado flew out to center, but Hooge singled … and Morales hit into another double play. (bites into fist)

Ben Feist retired 4-5-6 in the top 10th to stave off defeat, while Leos remained around for the bottom of the inning. Stedham drew a leadoff walk, and after that was Elijah Williams in the #9 hole, having entered with Feist in a double switch at Hooge’s expense (with Maldonado to center). Williams was asked to bunt, knocked them foul twice, and in despair the Raccoons went for the run-and-hit, because why not... Stedham threw the anchor in time when Williams flew out to Nieves, and retreated to first base. Leos then nailed Myers, but Cosmo flew out. Manny was up with two outs and the runners would be going on noise. Noise came at 1-1 and with a single into center. Stedham had gotten a great jump and was waved around against Fuentes – and arrived well ahead of the throw, walkoff!! 4-3 Raccoons!! M. Fernandez 2-5, 2B, RBI; Maldonado 2-4, RBI; Hooge 2-4, HR, 2 RBI;

Uh. Ben Feist (4-0) leads the team in wins once again…

Ah who cares.

More wins, boys! More wins!

Game 3
DAL: CF M. Fuentes – SS J. Ramos – 2B H. Acosta – 1B A. Zacarias – C Zarate – RF O. Ortiz – 3B Harroun – LF Velasquez – P Holliday
POR: 3B A. Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Maldonado – C Kilmer – 1B Stedham – SS Williams – P Weeks

A win would have to come over Mark Holliday (4-1, 2.57 ERA), a tall order considering the Stars ravaged Josh Weeks for six singles and three runs in the top of the first inning. Manny Fernandez hit a solo homer in the bottom 1st, but the second inning started with a walk to Fuentes, who was thrown out at third base on Jon Ramos’ single, and somehow the defense collected more outs for a completely outta-whack Josh Weeks, who batted with Jeff Kilmer and Elijah Williams in scoring position in the bottom 2nd and perversely sunk a ball in the gap to tie the game, then gave up the go-ahead run right away on another pair of hits by Orlando Ortiz and David Harroun, then a well-placed groundout by Velasquez. He was yanked after filling the bags with one out in the fourth; Prieto gave up a sac fly to Zarate, then exited the inning with a K, leaving the Critters down 5-3 and phoning St. Petersburg for their opinion.

The Raccoons got Citriniti to pitch three shutout innings after Prieto dug the team out of the fourth-inning mess, but didn’t get any meaningful offense at all against Holliday, continuing to trail 5-3 after seven. Jermaine Campbell was then sent into action in the eighth inning and while trailing, because he just wasn’t getting any work otherwise. Bottom 8th, Cosmo’s leadoff single knocked out Holliday. Manny singled off lefty Allen Medcalf, putting the tying run on base, too, but Greenway flew out. Daniel Hernandez replaced Medcalf – he was the guy we had gotten in the Jimmy Wallace trade (besides f.e. Bryce Sparkes) and then flipped for Fernando Garcia last year. He threw one pitch, Maldonado grounded and reached on an error by Acosta, then left with some tweak. Mike Barnett took over with the bags full and one out. Jeff Kilmer was right-handed like Barnett AND a good double play candidate, so Brad Ledford batted for him and grounded back to the mound. Cosmo was out at home, and the inning ended when Stedham also grounded out in the worst way. Both Mauricio Garavito and former Raccoons closer Josh Boles allowed no runners in the ninth. 5-3 Stars. Trevino 2-4; M. Fernandez 2-4, HR, RBI;

Our lead was down to half a game at this point.

The game ended Josh Weeks’ Coons career. Up to a 7.02 ERA the Raccoons asked him to go St. Petersburg. He refused. He was thus waived and designated for assignment. Steve Fidler (1.80 ERA in AAA) was promoted.

Raccoons (22-12) vs. Crusaders (17-17) – May 14-16, 2038

We were up 2-1 in the season series against the fourth-place Crusaders, who were fifth in runs scored and runs allowed in the Continental League with a +8 run differential (Critters: +28). They were playing very good defense. We weren’t. At least they weren’t going to rob us blind on the basepaths…

Projected matchups:
Raffaello Sabre (2-2, 4.54 ERA) vs. Matt Brost (3-4, 5.79 ERA)
Steve Fidler (0-0) vs. Joe Feltman (3-2, 3.35 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (2-3, 4.26 ERA) vs. Ignacio del Rio (4-3, 3.42 ERA)

All right-handers; in fact both teams now had an entirely right-handed rotation.

One notable regular for New York on the DL was Greg Ortiz.

Game 1
NYC: CF L. Herrera – 3B Sifuentes – C D. Phillips – 2B Duenez – 1B K. Henderson – LF Hawthorne – RF Salmeron – SS Stalker – P Brost
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Maldonado – C Morales – SS Myers – 1B Stedham – P Sabre

Ramon Sifuentes and Devin Phillips hit singles before Alberto Ramos picked Mario Duenez’ bouncer and spun a 5-4-3 double play in the first, which wasn’t something we had seen often so far. The Raccoons would score first after straight singles by their 6-7-8 batters in the bottom 2nd, which loaded the bases, then a Sabre sac fly, then nothing else. But when the Crusaders had the bases loaded with one out in the fourth, they scored two on a George Hawthorne single, then another run on Ricardo Salmeron’s groundout… At that point the Raccoons had already twice had Cosmo on second base with less than two outs and had stranded him just as often.

With two outs in the fifth, the Crusaders unfurled straight singles by Sifuentes, Phillips, and then Duenez. The latter one went to center, where Maldonado had opened the previous half-inning by popping out on a 3-0 pitch, causing me additional agony. Here he threw out Sifuentes at home plate to end the inning and at least get half his after-game food bowl restored… Greenway singled home Cosmo with two outs in the bottom 5th to make up a run, but the team was still 4-2 behind and only reached base on a Tim Stalker error in the sixth.

Sabre was gone after six, and Ben Feist was put into the seventh in the hope that his W magnet would spark a rally in the bottom 7th. Berto drew a leadoff walk off Jamal Barrow for a neat start, but then the team went groundout, flyout, strikeout. Feist walked two in the eighth and had to be bailed out by David Fernandez, which in turn meant that there was no hope for a comeback. (pops bottle of Capt’n Coma) Bottom 8th, leadoff single by Maldonado off Jorge Villegas jr., which put the tying run in the box again. Morales’ bouncer to first was botched by Kumanosuke Henderson, and Myers lobbed a 2-2 pitch over Stalker for an RBI single, bringing the tying run to second base with nobody out. Stedham, useless, flew out to left, but Rich Vickers had a pinch-hit single to load the bases in the 4-3 game, bringing back Berto, who hit a fly to center that caught, but was good enough for even Tony Morales to crawl home with the tying run. Cosmo slapped his fourth single off the day to score Myers, and the Coons took the lead! New pitcher Eddie Cannon got a pop from Manny to end the inning, and then the Raccoons sent in Campbell, who had pitched uselessly on Thursday… and allowed a leadoff single to Stalker. TIM! NO!! … Cut it out!! Omar Freeman’s grounder forced Stalker, Herrera struck out, and at 3-1 to Sifuentes Campbell … balked. I grabbed Slappy’s arm for additional comfort that Honeypaws couldn’t provide, then screamed like a girl when Sifuentes took the king of all rips on the next actual pitch – and grounded out to Cosmo. 5-4 Critters…! Trevino 4-5, 2B, RBI; Myers 3-4, RBI; Vickers (PH) 1-1;

That one was … –

(shivers)

Something new on Saturday – the Raccoons would give Steve Fidler his first start in the majors, while Rich Vickers was to start at *first* to get his bat into the lineup. He was 6’1’’, same as Stedham. He was batting .467, which was 274 points more than Stedham.

Game 2
NYC: CF L. Herrera – 3B Sifuentes – RF Salto – 2B Duenez – 1B K. Henderson – C Duryea – LF Salmeron – SS Stalker – P Feltman
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Maldonado – 1B Vickers – SS Myers – C Kilmer – P Fidler

Lorenzo Herrera opened with a double, while Sifuentes made an out. Graciano Salto’s single scored a run, and then Duenez hit a bomb to center. Henderson singled. Michael Duryea hit ANOTHER bomb to center. It was 5-0, there one out in the game, and the Raccoons were at a loss where to find any pitcher at all. Ricardo Salmeron singled and advanced to second on Maldonado’s flubbed pickup. Tim Stalker drove him in, and with two outs Herrera dropped another RBI hit. Sifuentes grounded out to Trevino, ending the first inning with seven runs on eight hits and with me hanging on another bottle.

Since the game was obviously in the bin already, Fidler would remain in to absorb more damage before being sent back to St. Petersburg. Portland scratched out a run in the bottom 3rd, Cosmo singling home Kilmer, which was obviously not going to matter. Rich Vickers hit a solo homer to right in the fourth, while Fidler had his sorry bum dragged through five innings without allowing another run, leaving down 7-2. The Raccoons had no faith; Ledford hit for Fidler in the bottom 5th, and the inning went on until Manny Fernandez popped out to strand a pair. He was then replaced with Ledford to take the chance and spare him a few innings, since he usually played every out of every game. The next marker on the scoreboard was for a solo homer Duenez hit off Citriniti, who allowed no other runners in two innings of work. 8-2 Crusaders.

That was … hard to watch. Which is why I closed my eyes early here. Slappy was so kind to cover Honeypaws’ eyes, too. That was not a game that one could reliably let little stuffed toy raccoons watch.

Rubber game, maybe with more luck for Portland this time was we tried to stave off a losing week in a battle of two of the three pitchers that were supposed to lead us to rings when they were prospects. They were going hard on 30 now and neither one of them had a ring.

Game 3
NYC: CF L. Herrera – 3B Sifuentes – C D. Phillips – RF Salto – 2B Duenez – 1B K. Henderson – LF Hawthorne – SS Stalker – P del Rio
POR: 3B Myers – 2B Vickers – CF Maldonado – RF Greenway – LF Hooge – C Morales – SS Williams – 1B Stedham – P Chavez

Bernie faced an all-righty lineup, which had my hopes up initially, but there was loud noise off him from the start and it was only a question of WHEN the Crusaders would hit six bombs off him. The Raccoons meanwhile had runners on early, but Maldonado in the first and Morales in the second hit into inning-ending double plays. Come the bottom 3rd, Williams drew a leadoff walk and Stedham legged out an infield roller for a single. Bernie bunted them over, and two runs scored, one each on a Dave Myers sac fly to center and then Vickers’ single to left. Maldonado struck out, while the bottom 4th began with walks issued to Greenway and Hooge. Morales singled to right to load the bases, and Williams’ fly to center was good for a sac fly against Lorenzo Herrera’s not too impressive arm, extending the lead to 3-0. And then Stedham found the team’s third inning-ending double play of the game, and the first 4-6-3 for variety… (gnaws on his own forearm)

Tim Stalker almost went yard, being caught at the fence in the fifth, but the Crusaders remained off the bases most of the time. They had three hits through five, and struck out six times against Bernie Chavez, who opened the bottom 5th with a single to right. Vickers and Maldonado joined him to load the bases for Greenway, who hit a grounder up the middle that Duenez got dangerously near to, but couldn’t reach; it escaped for an RBI single, Vickers being held at third base. Hooge popped out, but Morales drew a 2-out bases-loaded walk for the Coons’ fifth run on del Rio’s fifth walk. Williams flew out to right to strand all runners.

And then Bernie came apart with the usual great noise. Dan Dalton drew a leadoff walk in del Rio’s spot in the sixth and whiel Herrera struck out, Sifuentes ripped an RBI double. Phillips made another out before the Crusaders railed off three singles against Bernie, scoring two more runs before Hawthorne found Myers with a groundout. The lead was down to 5-3, and my mood was back to negative a thousand. Here was the pain of having three left-handed relievers in the bullpen – how to efficiently replace your right-handed starter against an entirely right-handed lineup, keeping in mind that the last off day was almost a week in the past? The Raccoons couldn’t, and Bernie stuck in there even after Stalker’s leadoff single in the seventh. He got the next three guys out and maintained his 5-3 lead through seven, and that was all that could be asked of him on reasons of pitch count. Maybe an insurance run would help us – Jamal Barrow gave up a double to Vickers at the start of the bottom 7th for a nice start. Maldonado grounded out to third base, which didn’t help, and Greenway was scary and put on intentionally. Thankfully nobody thought anything of Ed Hooge, still. Ed Hooge mauled Barrow with a 3-run homer to right, and that looked like a case of “ballgame”, up 8-3! More yet, Jorge Villegas jr. was ripped for three straight hits and a run before Manny batted for Chavez, scoring a run with a fielder’s choice. Myers found another single, but Vickers ended the 5-run inning with a groundout. Elijah Williams had another sac fly against Eddie Cannon in the eighth, scoring Troy Greenway, while Prieto and David Fernandez finished the game on the pitching side. 11-3 Critters! Myers 2-4, RBI; Vickers 3-5, 2B, RBI; Greenway 2-3, 2 BB, RBI; Hooge 1-2, 3 BB, HR, 3 RBI; Morales 3-4, BB, RBI; Williams 1-2, BB, 2B, 2 RBI;

In other news

May 11 – Elbow ligament damage renders LAP SP Julio Palomo (2-3, 4.08 ERA) out for the season.
May 12 – SFB SP Ryan Kinner (3-1, 1.18 ERA) is out for the year with a bad case of shoulder inflammation.
May 13 – MIL SP Sal Chavez (3-2, 3.71 ERA) 1-hits the Cyclones while walking three and striking out six. Milwaukee wins 1-0. The Cyclones’ only hit is a single by SP Trevor Corrigan (3-1, 2.76 ERA) while the Loggers’ run comes on a home run by … Sal Chavez (.333, 1 HR, 3 RBI).
May 13 – Another player is out for the year, with DEN SP Mike Hodge (1-4, 7.61 ERA) having his struggles to throw the ball well traced back to elbow ligament damage; he will miss a full year.
May 14 – Loggers INF Ted Del Vecchio (.350, 3 HR, 31 RBI) lands four base hits, including two homers, and drives in seven runs in the Loggers’ 17-0 crushing of the Indians.
May 14 – WAS OF Ken Gibbs (.275, 1 HR, 10 RBI) will miss a month with a biceps strain.

FL Player of the Week: PIT 1B Danny Santillano (.360, 7 HR, 29 RBI) hitting .455 (10-22) with 3 HR, 9 RBI
CL Player of the Week: MIL C Felipe Gomez (.354, 3 HR, 28 RBI), batting .444 (8-18) with 2 HR, 12 RBI

Complaints and stuff

Several teams have claimed Josh Weeks and his 7.02 ERA and he was awarded to the Pacifics in the end. Bless them. We’re off the hook for his contract. We still need some warm body to get outs and Fidler isn’t it. Gene Tennis had a sore elbow and was not currently available for lackluster fill-in duty. Thing is, we’ll need the fifth starter twice more before we arrive at an off day.

The only other realistic candidate by ERA with the Alley Cats is Jon Hass, signed as extended depth for $300k this winter. He was 28 and had never wound up in the majors. He had not even been on the roster, unused, for a last-place team in September. Hass was 1-1 with a 1.58 ERA in six starts, but that masked some ugly numbers, including a .253 BABIP and 6.5 BB/9. Inviting him also extended an invitation to more shellackings.

The path forward was probably a trade. Unfortunately it was only the middle of May and few teams were really out of it, and the teams that were like the 11-26 Gold Sox had no pitchers to crave. The 12-25 Buffos had David Elliott (3-6, 3.48 ERA), but Elliott not only had a $4.44M contract for this year, but also *next*. We wanted no part of that.

Besides, given our defensive “setup” (bold name for it), we really need a strikeout guy. Strikeout guys ain’t be coming cheap, and we didn’t have many prospects left.

The Loggers lost 94 games last year, and 87+ for six straight seasons. What are they doing in third place, 22-14? Their run differential was +15, a bit on the shy side, but they seemed to be playing a successful brand of small ball, having taken the lead in stolen bases in the CL this week and being second in OBP and third in runs scored. Few homers, though. The Raccoons had dropped to second in runs scored this week (behind the damn Elks), and would take a close look at the Loggers next week, opening with four games in Milwaukee. They have about as many .300 hitters as we do.

Fun Fact: No, offense in general is not up significantly in the CL.

The current league batting average is .258, which is the highest it’s been since 2020, but that only means that it has been .256 or .257 a lot. ERA was at 3.94, totally about the long-term average.

Offense was actually *down* in the Federal League, with the 3.84 ERA over there presently representing the lowest mark since the little ice age for offense in the late 80s.

+++

The draft pool is out, but since the Raccoons won’t pick in the top 50 I will spare myself the three hours of going through it guy by guy. That also means no draft pool analysis this season.

[Westheim]

Raccoons (24-13) @ Loggers (22-14) – May 17-20, 2038

The Raccoons had barely secured a 9-9 tie in the season series with the Loggers last year, and that was when they had been nailed firmly into last place. Now they were just a game and a half behind the first-place Critters, and third in runs scored. What was going on!? Their pitching was still crummy, though. While the Raccoons had a +31 run differential, the Loggers’ was +15. On the other paw, the Critters had been swept in Milwaukee in a 4-game set last year…

Projected matchups:
Bryce Sparkes (3-2, 3.15 ERA) vs. Cody Chamberlin (1-2, 6.17 ERA)
Jared Ottinger (3-0, 3.32 ERA) vs. Sal Chavez (3-2, 3.71 ERA)
Raffaello Sabre (2-2, 4.75 ERA) vs. Sergio Piedra (3-3, 4.11 ERA)
Steve Fidler (0-1, 12.60 ERA) vs. Tommy Iezzi (2-2, 2.14 ERA)

We’d get all their right-handed starters and miss southpaw William Stockwel (4-2, 3.92 ERA), who had gone out on Sunday, and an off day wasn’t coming up for a while yet, so we’d have to do our application of rest days against right-handers; the Thunder were due up on the weekend, and we’d not likely catch a lefty starter there, either.

Game 1
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – C Morales – SS Myers – 1B Vickers – CF Hooge – P Sparkes
MIL: CF T. Romero – 3B Paul – 1B Conner – RF Valenzuela – SS Del Vecchio – C F. Gomez – LF Leyva – 2B V. Acosta – P Chamberlin

Neither team’s stash of .300 hitters amounted to a base hit in the first three innings. Both pitchers generated a lot of weak contact, and issued one walk, which Cosmo Trevino and Tony Romero drew, respectively. The Raccoons were still dry in the fourth, but Ted Del Vecchio broke the ice with a 2-out single in the bottom 4th, although the inning ended with Felipe Gomez’ fly right after that. The Raccoons didn’t get a base knock until their 17th attempt, when Ed Hooge hit a 2-out single in the fifth. That still didn’t make for a run, but Cosmo’s 1-out single in the sixth and Troy Greenway’s 2-out homer did, the first markers on the board in what was now a 2-0 game. The Loggers answered instantly, with Tony Romero leading off the bottom 6th with a triple. Jared Paul’s sac fly got him in, and Josh Conner’s double and another Del Vecchio single tied the game…

And then the scoring stopped as abruptly as it had begun. Neither team reached third base for the rest of regulation, and when the 10th inning dawned, the Loggers dominated the Raccoons with five hits to our four. Vickers, Hooge, and Stedham were retired effortlessly by Alex Banderas in the top of the 10th inning. Ben Feist got the bottom of the 10th. Travis Park and Tony Romero made outs. Jared Paul singled, then stole second base. Josh Conner walked. Jason Crawford was the only left-hander in the order and the Raccoons were already on their fourth reliever. Feist faced Crawford, gave up a terrible single in right-center, and Paul raced around to walk off the Loggers. 3-2 Loggers. Trevino 2-3, BB; Sparkes 7.0 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 1 BB, 6 K;

Ah, another one of those series…

Game 2
POR: 3B Myers – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Morales – RF Ledford – 1B Stedham – SS Williams – P Ottinger
MIL: CF T. Romero – 3B Paul – LF J. Nelson – 1B Conner – RF Valenzuela – SS Del Vecchio – C M. Cooper – 2B V. Acosta – P S. Chavez

For the second day in a row, no Raccoon found a base hit the first time through. When Jesus Maldonado hit a leadoff single in the fourth, he was caught stealing, and after Tony Morales walked and Brad Ledford was nailed, Jesse Stedham uselessly hit into a double play. That was the extent of their offense… Before long Ottie was undone by awful defense, and a leadoff walk to Justin Nelson in the bottom 4th. Conner hit a shy single, and Del Vecchio rammed a 2-run triple through Stedham and past Ledford all the way into the corner. Williams and Myers walked in the fifth … and Trevino hit into a double play to kill that inning. After that it was nothing in the sixth, nothing in the seventh, then a leadoff walk to Myers in the eighth. Trevino did nothing, while Manny Fernandez hit into the third inning-ending double play in the game. The team arrived in the ninth inning with Sal Chavez still on the mound, ahead 2-0, and after having issues SIX WALKS. He also had not struck out anybody. The Raccoons had just … (eyes skywards) … good one, baseball gods. Good one. The Loggers were three further outs made by the defense rather than Chavez away from maybe taking the lead in the division. Maldonado flew out to right. Morales grounded out. Greenway grounded out. 2-0 Loggers. Myers 1-2, 2 BB; Stedham 1-2, BB;

What in - … what??

The paper also says it’s true. MIL 24-14, VAN 23-14, POR 24-15.

Must be a dream. Can’t be real. Must be a dream.

I’d like to wake up now.

Game 3
POR: 2B Trevino – CF Maldonado – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – SS Myers – 3B Ramos – 1B Stedham – C Kilmer – P Sabre
MIL: CF T. Romero – 3B Paul – 1B Conner – RF Valenzuela – SS Del Vecchio – C F. Gomez – LF Crawford – 2B V. Acosta – P Piedra

Maldonado hit a single in the first, and Fernandez hit into a double play, all before Alberto Ramos threw away Tony Romero’s roller for two bases to begin the bottom 1st. Sabre hit Josh Conner, and after Danny Valenzuela grounded out, the extremely outrageous Ted Del Vecchio hit a despicable 2-out, 2-run single. (marks the series down as a sweep in his pocket schedule)

Piedra faced the minimum the first time through, while Ramos had two 2-base throwing errors by the third inning. The list of problems was growing. 10-2 was a distant memory. When Cosmo hit a leadoff single in the fourth, Maldonado was up to the challenge and hit into a 6-4-3 double play. Nobody else reached base for the Raccoons through six, during which Piedra again saw the minimum of batters. As a side hustle, Piedra landed two base hits off Sabre, who was chewed up after six innings without allowing another run, while those two hits by Piedra were also known as a whole Raccoons lineup’s worth. Trevino drew a walk in the seventh, was left on first base for a change, and the Loggers scored two more runs off Citriniti, who gave up a leadoff triple to Valenzuela, the run on a groundout by abysmal Ted Del Vecchio, and then a homer to Felipe Gomez. 4-0 Loggers. Sabre 6.0 IP, 6 H, 2 R, 0 ER, 2 BB, 4 K, L (2-3);

21 innings of not scoring in a row. Against the LOGGERS.

(asks nearest Loggers-employed attendant) Excuse me, Sir, where is the nearest lake to drown myself in? – That way? – Thank you. (nestles a crumpled fiver from his wallet and shoves it down the attendant’s shirt pocket)

Game 4
POR: SS Myers – 2B Trevino – LF Hooge – RF Greenway – CF Maldonado – C Morales – 3B Ramos – 1B Stedham – P Fidler
MIL: CF T. Romero – 3B Paul – 1B Conner – RF Valenzuela – SS Del Vecchio – C F. Gomez – LF Leyva – 2B V. Acosta – P Iezzi

The scoreless streak ended as it had begun – with a 2-run homer by Troy Greenway, now collecting Trevino right in the first inning. That was a 2-0 lead given to Fidler, who had been rigorously dismembered in his maiden start and who Dr. Chung had just finished stitching back together five minutes before the first pitch. The little idiots around him this time set fire to his pyre, putting two Loggers on via errors by Myers and Greenway (…!!!) before the inevitable Del Vecchio twisted the damn dagger once more with an RBI single after the Raccoons dismally couldn’t turn two on a Valenzuela grounder. Felipe Gomez was robbed by Ed Hooge in the gap, maintaining the illusion of a 2-1 lead at least until the second inning…

Portland scratched out a run in the top 3rd, where Cosmo and Hooge singled, and Greenway found a sac fly to make it 3-1. The Loggers put Del Vecchio (breathes heavily) and Gomez on base to begin the bottom 4th, but Rico Leyva popped out and Victor Acosta hit into a double play the striped disasters on the field at least turned for once…

Jesus Maldonado then held on to the lead, spoiling a deep Valenzuela drive with two on and two outs in the bottom 5th, then opened the sixth with a jack to left, his first of the season and extending the score to 4-1. The Loggers retained their customary two men on against Fidler, who pitched in constant rush hour traffic, with Del Vecchio (RAAAHHH!!!) and Leyva on base in the bottom 6th with a double and walk, respectively. Acosta, no help dead nor alive and an attractive trade target since he’d fit right in, popped out. Justin Nelson hit for Iezzi, batting .211 from the right side. Fidler was sure he could get him out, and, well … got him out. All it took was Stedham making the lunging catch of the decade on a blasted 2-1 liner. All in all, the Loggers stranded nine runners against Fidler. Nobody reached against Prieto in the seventh, which felt weird, and in the eighth we got Morales on with a 1-out single off Rob Clack, a southpaw. Vickers singled in place of Berto, who was a beaming beacon of futility in this series (0-for-11, 1 K, 2 E), and Kilmer hit for the hopeless twig of Stedham and whacked an RBI double. Another run scored on a wild pitch, then one more on Brad Ledford’s RBI single in Prieto’s place. Finally, a breakout, three runs in the inning and seven in the game! Trevino and Hooge made outs after a Myers single off Mike Leeth, but the Raccoons would get almost blameless relief from David Fernandez and Jermaine Campbell (well, he had to pitch at some point…) in the last two innings. 7-1 Raccoons. Trevino 2-5; Hooge 2-4, BB, 2B; Morales 2-5; Vickers (PH) 1-1; Kilmer (PH) 1-1, 2B, RBI; Ledford (PH) 1-1, RBI;

In terms of damage control, the damn Elks got swept by the Crusaders, so the Raccoons were back in second place. The gap on Milwaukee was half a game; traumatizing, yes, but there was a convincing argument to be made that they wouldn’t play .625 ball to the end.

Whether the Coons would continue to play .610 ball was in an entirely different crystal ball…

Raccoons (25-16) vs. Thunder (14-28) – May 21-23, 2038

At least we could return home to face a rehab opponent. The Thunder were hopeless, playing .333 ball and sitting in the bottom four in both runs allowed and runs scored, with the second-worst rotation, the lowest OBP (under .300!), and few nice qualities to talk about. Their run differential was already -62, which was stark at the quarter post. They would bring up only righty starters, so in theory we could pump out a very contrary lineup to put pressure on them. Last year, the Raccoons had taken the season series for the fourth straight time, winning eight of nine games.

Projected matchups:
Bernie Chavez (3-3, 4.20 ERA) vs. Brian Frain (2-7, 4.56 ERA)
Bryce Sparkes (3-2, 3.08 ERA) vs. Paul Peters (3-3, 4.50 ERA)
Jared Ottinger (3-1, 3.28 ERA) vs. Chris Inderrieden (3-4, 1.76 ERA)

Like I said, all right-handers. Maybe THIS set could get the slumping Berto (0-for-22!) and Manny Fernandez (0-for-20!!) going.

And if the Thunder pitching wouldn’t, I would send Nick Valdes on them for a motivating talk. – Of course I’d like to see the pictures you took, Nick. Where you on vacation? – That doesn’t look like pictures from vacation. – Oh, your newest acquisition, you don’t say. – A chemical plant in Kookarachi, hear, hear. – Why’s the river purple?

Game 1
OCT: LF E. Moore – 3B Bennett – C Urfer – 1B D. Cruz – 2B Martell – RF C. Anderson – CF Shamhart – SS Agosto – P Frain
POR: SS Myers – 2B Trevino – 1B Maldonado – RF Greenway – LF M. Fernandez – CF Hooge – C Kilmer – 3B Ramos – P Chavez

Portland scored the first run of the game without getting a base hit; Trevino walked, stole second, advanced on an error, and scored on a wild pitch. Bernie Chavez retired the first six in order… on 17 pitches. That was a huge red flag. He fooled absolutely nobody, and in the third inning the defense stopped making plays for him. Nate Shamhart, leadoff single to center, then another single by Jose Agosto. Frain hit an RBI double through Ramos, and the other runners scored on singles by Rick Urfer and Danny Cruz with two outs as the Thunder took a 3-1 lead until finally Al Martell grounded out. Berto hit a single to begin the bottom 3rd, finally breaking his endless oh-fer and clinging to the .200 mark, but would be thrown out at home plate by Shamhart, starting fro m second base on Cosmo’s 2-out single.

Bottom 4th, Maldonado was nailed, Greenway singled, but Manny’s oh-fer continued with a fielder’s choice grounder to Martell. Ed Hooge cracked an RBI single to center, though, narrowing the gap to 3-2. Kilmer struck out, Berto was retired on a headlong sliding catch by Ethan Moore, and I kinda wanted a glass full of water out of that Kookarachi River to mix into by Capt’n Coma.

Bernie wouldn’t even throw 70 pitches; he was yanked in the bottom 6th after Berto’s game-tying 2-out double to center. Ledford batted for Chavez, popped out, and the score remained tied. Feist held the fort in the seventh for Portland, then got in line for a W when Cosmo reached base against Mike Bass in the bottom of the inning, stole second, and came around on Troy Greenway’s RBI single in the middle of nowhere, 4-3. Greenway was then gunned down trying to steal second base, and Feist put T.J. Bennett on base in the top 8th, who stole second and scored on Al Martell’s single off Yeom Soung… Tied again, I marvelled at the natural beauty of the mountains glitzening in the blasting sunshine behind Nick Valdes’ Kookarachi factory. They were, I was told, made entirely out of poisonous ashes, a byproduct of the chemical processes. The Critters did nothing in the eighth, but were still tied going into the bottom 9th. Berto was leading off against right-hander Gary Martin and his 4.02 ERA. Jesse Stedham hit for Soung, singled, but that was all; he never got off first, and the Raccoons hit extra innings again. Prieto held the board clean in the tenth, and Maldonado drew a leadoff walk against Martin in the bottom of that inning. Martin also walked Greenway, pushing the winning run into scoring position, for Manny Fernandez, 0-for-24 and falling. Well, if he didn’t make it here, he’d never get another hit again in his lifetime! …and he didn’t make it, sort of, kinda. I don’t know. His liner to center caught Jesus Adames in between, and he wasn’t sure whether to take it on the bounce or lunge for it, right up until the ball struck him in the chest and bounced away. Maldonado scored, ballgame. 5-4 Raccoons. Trevino 3-4, BB; Greenway 2-4, BB, RBI; Hooge 2-4, RBI; Ramos 2-4, 2B, RBI; Stedham (PH) 1-1;

Not a thing of beauty, entirely unlike the lake a mile from the chemical plant. Valdes had some beautiful shots of the lake fluorescing in all possible and impossible colors in the setting sun, with a few boats of fishermen sharply contrasting against the blood-red sky.

But, eh, a win is a win is a win!

Game 2
OCT: CF Shamhart – 3B Bennett – 1B D. Cruz – 2B Martell – RF C. Anderson – LF Heskett – C Adames – SS Kalinowski – P Peters
POR: SS Myers – 2B Trevino – CF Maldonado – RF Greenway – LF M. Fernandez – C Morales – 3B Ramos – 1B Stedham – P Sparkes

Singles by Shamhart, who stole second, and Danny Cruz gave the Thunder a 1-0 lead in the first inning, and we were eagerly waiting for the Raccoons’ answer to that affront. It took them four innings to reach scoring position, then with a leadoff double by Cosmo. A wild pitch and Maldonado’s single got him around to score and tie the game. Maldonado stole second ahead of walk drawn by Greenway, and Manny Fernandez fell to 0-for-26 with a comebacker that got Greenway out at second base. Then – calamity! Peters’ 1-0 pitch struck Tony Morales in the paw! While the bases would be loaded, Morales would no longer participate in the game, struggling to grasp a banana Dr. Chung offered him as a medical test. He came out, Jeff Kilmer was in, and the Raccoons took a lead on Berto’s sac fly to Brian Heskett before Stedham feebly struck out.

The Raccoons did nothing with a Myers double to left that came up with one out in the fifth. Greenway then opened the sixth with a double while Sparkes seemed in control, not having allowed a hit since the first inning. The Thunder – no, Nick, I can’t believe it either, I mean, I can smell his paws rotting all the way up here! – walked Manny Fernandez, in an 0-for-26 hole, INTENTIONALLY. That’s really something that only last-place teams do, huh!? Kilmer singled to load the bags on the next pitch, and now the Raccoons hoped for a knockout blow from either Berto, or Stedham, or Sparkes, batting a combined .193, with three on and nobody gone. Berto hit another sac fly, 3-1, while Stedham tumbled into a fielder’s choice that the Thunder played just as badly, forfeiting the third out, like he was batting. – I know, Nick, I can’t believe it either that you’re paying this much for him! … And Sparkes flew out to Shamhart, still the hardest-hit ball of those three…

At least he remained almost untouchable to the Thunder… Sparkes easily made it through the seventh, the first Raccoons pitcher to venture that far the entire week… and then Adames hit a leadoff double in the eighth, and here was the panic. Josh Kalinowski and Justin Uliasz made outs that kept Adames on second, but with Shamhart’s lefty .294 bat coming up for the fourth time, the Raccoons sent for a southpaw. David Fernandez gave up a LOUD fly to center, but it was way too high and nowhere long enough and Maldonado made the play to end the inning. The Raccoons couldn’t find another run, either, and thus Campbell came out for the first save chance of the week, but at least it was only Saturday so far… Groundout, strikeout, flyout went the Thunder’s 2-3-4 batters. 3-1 Critters. Trevino 2-4, 2B; Greenway 1-2, BB, 2B; Ramos 1-2, 2 RBI; Sparkes 7.2 IP, 3 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 7 K, W (4-2);

The good news – no structural damage to Tony Morales’ paw! It was a bit swollen on Sunday morning still, and the start behind the dish would go to Kilmer on Sunday, but he would not have to go to the DL!

Yes, Nick, it’s a Sunday afternoon game, lots of screaming, blaring kids in the house. – Well, Ottie is starting. – He’s on Gobble. – Thank goodness, you don’t know about that crap either. Around here I feel like I am the only sane person left. – No, Nick, I don’t think it would be appropriate to hire a few 12-year-olds to scrub the insides of the tiny pipes in your Kookarachi chemical plant. – Don’t be ridiculous. Steve from Accounting just recently explained to me that child labor is best sourced locally.

Game 3
OCT: LF E. Moore – 3B Bennett – C Urfer – 1B D. Cruz – 2B Martell – RF C. Anderson – CF Heskett – SS Agosto – P Inderrieden
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Myers – CF Maldonado – RF Greenway – 2B Vickers – LF Ledford – C Kilmer – 1B Stedham – P Ottinger

The Raccoons had lots of base runners and few runs early. Berto (walk) reached base in the bottom 1st, stole second, and it took two more singles by Myers and Greenway to score him. In the second, Brad Ledford reached base with a single, stole second, then was stranded altogether despite Stedham and Berto slithering on base as well. Myers lined out to Danny Cruz to end the inning with three aboard, making for five runners stranded in two innings. The Thunder of course brought their first runner around to score – that would be Heskett in the third, drawing a leadoff walk. Ottinger misfielded Inderrieden’s bunt for an extra runner, and then the 2-3-4 batters reeled off three 2-out RBI singles for a 3-1 lead before Martell popped out. Greenway tied the game, following Maldonado’s leadoff single with a homer to right, his 10th of the year, 36th RBI, and also all the runs plated for Portland in this game, at least until Vickers, Kilmer, and Ottie cobbled together another run on three singles. Berto grounded out, stranding another pair, seven in total by now after three innings.

While Nick Valdes explained his plans for a fireworks factory next to the living quarters adjacent to the chemical plant, Ottie snatched another RBI single in the fifth inning, again with two outs. That one followed Stedham’s RBI triple to plate Kilmer as the Raccoons put a little 2-out rally together to extend the lead to 6-3, and they also knocked out Inderrieden in the process. Berto hit a single off Chris Manley, but Myers flew out to Ethan Moore to end the bottom 5th.

Unfortunately, Ottie’s hitting outlasted his pitching, which saw him walk Chris Anderson on four balls in the sixth, swiftly followed by Heskett’s moonshot axing the lead to 6-5. We had 13 hits to their … five. This was an absolute disaster in the making, and I had no doubt about a loss accumulating on the scoreboard, and not a pretty one. But for now Manley nicked Maldonado to begin the bottom 6th and gave up a homer to Greenway, restoring the 3-run gap. Ottie hung around for a K against PH Justin Uliasz in the seventh, but was then lifted for Garavito, who got around a Bennett single and out of the inning. Him, Citriniti, and Campbell would retire the last seven Thunder in order to complete the game and the sweep. 8-5 Raccoons! Ramos 2-4, BB; Greenway 3-5, 2 HR, 5 RBI; Ledford 2-4; Kilmer 2-4; Stedham 1-2, 2 BB, 3B, RBI;

In other news

May 17 – The Crusaders send SP Ignacio del Rio (4-4, 3.90 ERA) to the Scorpions for OF Rich Salek (.455, 0 HR, 3 RBI), who has only 22 at-bats in his third major league season, and a prospect.
May 17 – The Bayhawks beat the Knights, 3-2 in 16 innings. SFB OF Edgardo Balderrama (.366, 0 HR, 9 RBI) reaches base seven times with five hits and two walks and drives in the winning run in the top of the 16th.
May 17 – Aces OF Mike Hall (.286, 3 HR, 22 RBI) will miss a month with a herniated disc.
May 18 – BOS OF/2B Moises Avila (.175, 1 HR, 6 RBI) will miss three weeks with a strained rib cage muscle.
May 21 – The Crusaders trade SP/MR Jared Murphy (2-4, 3.19 ERA) to the Rebels for outfielder Ryan Carr, who had only played in AAA so far this season, and a prospect.
May 23 – DEN SP Peter “Graveyard” Gill (2-4, 3.09 ERA) 1-hits the Rebels in a 6-0 shutout. Richmond 1B Dan Sarro (.324, 6 HR, 27 RBI) has the lone base knock for the losing side.

FL Player of the Week: WAS CF Justin Fowler (.236, 6 HR, 18 RBI) warming up at .400 (10-25), 2 HR, 7 RBI
CL Player of the Week: TIJ OF Justin Williams (.312, 7 HR, 31 RBI) hitting .481 (13-27), 1 HR, 7 RBI

Complaints and stuff

They must have done something to the place in Milwaukee. Maybe something they’re putting in the food. That was a horrendous team that donned the brown shirts there, AGAIN, and I never want to see those guys again. The weekend set in turn wasn’t pretty but at least they swept the lame-bum Thunder to recover a winning week. They didn’t recover first place, though, which is now … uh… the Loggers’.

THE LOGGERS.

The sad-sack midweek series dropped us to third place in runs scored, but we are still first in a number of categories, including average, hits, slugging, and fewest strikeouts. And – stolen bases! We’re *almost* robbing one base per game; 42 bases in 44 games.

Next week, mild road trip without crossing the Continental Divide, with three in Tijuana, then three in Vegas after a day off. I spent months collecting dimes for some slot machines. Maybe I can win us the salary for a new pitcher!

Fun Fact: Jesus Maldonado and Manny Fernandez have in fact not changed their uniforms.

The 2037 World Series MVP is still batting over .300, although he’s mostly slapping singles. Of Maldonado’s 49 hits, only seven have gone for extra bases.

The 2036 Player of the Year is down to .242/.298/.338. He’s 0-for-his-last-29. He’s drawn one walk in that stretch… BUT … he also struck out only three times. All 26 balls in play – outs. Sometimes two outs, but all of them outs. That is borderline perverted and has to shake itself out soon.

I hope.

[Westheim]

Raccoons (28-16) @ Condors (19-25) – May 24-26, 2038

Like the Titans, the Condors seemed like they had seized being a factor. They had pretty massively ran out of pitching, allowing the second-most runs with the second-worst rotation. The pen was not that much better, either. They were still #4 in runs scored in the league with just over 4.5 per game, one spot behind the Critters, who were scoring 4.8 markers per game, but that value was dropping now with various guys in a slump. This was the first thrice-annual meeting with the Condors in ‘38; the Raccoons had won the last two season series, each by a tally of 5-4.

Projected matchups:
Raffaello Sabre (2-3, 4.15 ERA) vs. Juan Garcia (4-3, 3.84 ERA)
Steve Fidler (1-1, 5.73 ERA) vs. George Griffin (1-1, 4.87 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (3-3, 4.24 ERA) vs. Dave Martinez (1-1, 5.36 ERA)

The series would start with a southpaw, bring up two right-handers, and then we’d get a much needed off day…

Manny Fernandez was on the bench on Monday, but would face the right-handed opposition after that. We didn’t consider him likely to break that pulseless 0-for-29 against Garcia, either… Tony Morales was fine after being struck in the paw on Saturday, but got this game off as well for platoon reasons.

Game 1
POR: 3B Myers – 2B Trevino – RF Greenway – SS Maldonado – CF Hooge – 1B Vickers – LF Ledford – C Kilmer – P Sabre
TIJ: CF C. Murphy – C J. Flores – RF Willie Ojeda – LF J. Williams – 1B Zuazo – SS Bunyon – 2B Ragsdale – 3B Sanks – P J. Garcia

A hustle double by Dave Myers, a blooper just in front of Willie Ojeda by Cosmo Trevino, and then an infield roller near third base by Troy Greenway loaded the bases with nobody out against Garcia, who ran a full count against Jesus Maldonado before the Critter hit a grounder to the left side. Donovan Bunyon dove and intercepted the ball, but had no play, and the Raccoons went up 1-0 on the second consecutive infield single. Additional runs scored on Hoogey’s groundout, Vickers’ sac fly, and Ledford’s single to center, before Kilmer’s groundout ended a 4-spot to open the contest. In a perfect world, Raffaello Sabre would now spin seven innings of 2-run ball, but gave up the first run right away in the bottom half of the inning. Chris Murphy hit a leadoff single, stole his first bag of the season on a sleeping Kilmer, and came around on Justin Williams’ 2-out single up the middle. The Raccoons countered by having three on and nobody out in the second, starting with a 4-pitch walk to Sabre, which immediately got the pen going. Myers and Trevino singled the bags full, and the Raccoons scratched out three runs faster than the Condors could get a reliever warm. Greenway singled home one, Maldonado plated two, and Hooge bowled into a 6-4-3 that took the steam out of it a bit. Meanwhile, Sabre ran into the disgusting skunk weasel in the #8 hole, and gave up a 2-run home run in the bottom 2nd, so the score through two was a mild 7-3.

Portland scratched out two against Ryan McConnell in the fourth inning, with Myers, Greenway (double), and Maldonado landing the hits for it, and McConnell was charged with an unearned run in the fifth, when a Dylan Ragsdale error enabled Ledford to score from third base on a Myers sac fly, getting the Critters into double digits. Sabre was also positively dreadful, shoveling the bases full in the bottom 5th and allowing a drive to center to Alvin Zuazo that had slam volume, but not depth, and Ed Hooge held him to a sac fly with a nice play. Bunyon struck out, stranding two. Sabre got his paws on the sixth, allowed a double to Ragsdale and walked Shane Sanks, and then got the yanks in favor of Yeom Soung, who retired the next three to kill the budding rally. Garavito then walked the bags full in the seventh, requiring rescue by Antonio Prieto, which was achieved with K’s to Ragsdale and Sanks. That was the final scare; Dennis Citriniti would get the last six outs without moving the tying run to the gum barrel in the dugout. 10-4 Raccoons. Myers 3-4, 2B, RBI; Trevino 2-4; Greenway 3-5, 2B, 2 RBI; Maldonado 5-5, 2B, 3 RBI; Ledford 2-4, BB, RBI; Citriniti 2.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 3 K;

Manny Fernandez pinch-hit against righty Gabe McGill in the eighth and flew out, deepening his slump to 0-for-30, including 0-for-27 on balls in play. Jesus Maldonado meanwhile had five hits and raised his average to .331 …!

Game 2
POR: SS Myers – 2B Trevino – CF Maldonado – RF Greenway – C Morales – LF M. Fernandez – 3B Ramos – 1B Stedham – P Fidler
TIJ: CF C. Murphy – 2B Bensinger – RF Willie Ojeda – LF J. Williams – 1B Zuazo – C J. Flores – SS Ragsdale – 3B Sanks – P Griffin

The spell was broken! Manny Fernandez hit a 2-out, 2-run single in the first after Griffin had walked the bases full and both Greenway and Morales had made poor outs ahead of him. 1-for-31! Finally!! While the Critters scratched out another run on another Ragsdale error in the third inning, Cosmo singling home Myers with two outs, from the start Steve Fidler looked much like in his starting debut and not like in his second outing – ready to be taken to the butcher. Let’s just say there was only one hit and no runs against him in the first two innings, but that we saw some fine outfield defense…

Come the third, the Raccoons had the bags full with Greenway, Morales, and Berto all reaching, bringing up the .206 batter Jesse Stedham with one out. He nudged a single through Alvin Zuazo to run the score to 4-0, and that was his 10th RBI on the season. The Raccoons were very much on the lookout for a first baseman being able to hit his weight… And maybe another starter, although the double play that Fidler hit into and that killed the inning wasn’t the reason. Skunk weasel drove in the Condors’ first run with a 2-out single in the fourth, but that didn’t say everything that was to be said about Fidler, who was behind almost every batter in this game, couldn’t retire Chris Murphy for his life – though Murphy, after going 3-for-3, was caught stealing – and gave up an almost-homer to Jason Bensinger in the bottom 5th that Greenway plucked off the top of the fence. Fidler did hit a sac fly after Stedham’s leadoff triple in the top 6th, 5-1, which also knocked out Griffin, but was removed after two outs in the bottom 6th had been logged. Williams and Zuazo were in scoring position after a single, a walk, and a balk, and the skunk weasel was at the plate, and we wanted no part of that with this pitcher. Ben Feist replaced Fidler, nailed Sanks, which made me grin, and then got PH Mal Phinazee on a grounder, stranding three. Mal Phinazee? I swear they must have misarranged the letters on the scoreboard…

Brad Ledford replaced Greenway in a double switch in the seventh, then doubled home Alberto Ramos in the eighth for an extra run, putting the game out of slam range, and the Condors didn’t accumulate in numbers on the base paths anymore anyway. Feist and Fernandez got the team through eight, and then Prieto gave up a leadoff double to Ragsdale in the ninth, which unfortunately became a run, but not a game-changing event. 6-2 Raccoons! Trevino 2-4, BB, RBI; M. Fernandez 2-5, 2 RBI; Stedham 2-4, 3B, RBI; Ledford 1-1, 2B, RBI;

The Raccoons turned a virtual tie for first place into a 1 1/2 game lead today; the Loggers had been rained out in San Francisco on Monday, then got swept in a double header on Tuesday. The damn Elks were 3 1/2 behind at this point.

Game 3
POR: SS Myers – 2B Trevino – CF Maldonado – RF Greenway – C Morales – LF M. Fernandez – 3B Ramos – 1B Stedham – P Chavez
TIJ: C J. Flores – 2B Bensinger – RF Willie Ojeda – LF J. Williams – 1B Zuazo – SS Bunyon – CF Phinazee – 3B Sanks – P D. Martinez

Another day, another fast start, with three hits, two stolen bases (Cosmo and Maldonado in both categories) and three runs in the first inning. Troy Greenway hit a 2-run homer to zoom out early. Berto got on and stole another bag in the second inning, but was stranded, while Zuazo got on for Tijuana, stole a base off Morales, and was scored on a groundout by Mal Phinazee, who just HAD to be a human rebus or something...

I got antsy when the Raccoons pissed away a leadoff triple by Maldonado in the third inning. Greenway walked, and after Tony Morales whiffed Martinez got two pops from Manny and Berto, the Troubled Brigade. Also in trouble, Raccoons starters. Bernie arrived without his stuff and relied on D, which was never great with the current infield assembly, but sometimes the Condors would help out. Ojeda led off the fourth with a hard single, then was doubled off when he started early on Justin Williams’ liner that made considerable impact in Dave Myers’ glove, with Ojeda hung out to dry about 50 feet off first base, 6-3 double play. Bernie Chavez ran out of talent regardless in the bottom 5th. Phinazee singled, stole a base, and Sanks and Flores also reached base, the latter driving in a run to cut the lead to 3-2. Bensinger axed the lead altogether, with a 450-footer to right that took all my breath away for all the wrong reasons.

Down 5-3, the Raccoons put the tying runs on with leadoff singles by the Troubled Brigade off Martinez in the sixth. Stedham popped out, but Ledford singled to center, loading the bases for Myers, who was retired for a sac fly on the first pitch, and Cosmo grounded out at 2-1, keeping the team behind, 5-4. The Condors pulled the run back with a Zuazo walk drawn off David Fernandez, Bunyon’s double, and a sac fly for Phinazee.

The tying runs were then on AGAIN with no outs in the seventh. Maldonado singled, Greenway walked. Morales popped out, but Manny singled to center, loading the sacks for Berto while the Condors stubbornly hung with Martinez through a run-scoring groundout. And why wouldn’t they? Stedham flew out easily, and the Raccoons stranded a pair in scoring position. The eighth was uneventful, and the ninth brought Steve Bailey’s right arm into the mix. Maldonado grounded out. Greenway doubled into the gap in right-center, putting the tying run 180 feet away. It was 90 after Morales grounded out, which was no major help. Manny shot a ball into the left-center gap – but was robbed as he was used to, with Justin Williams taking the ball and sealing the game on the run. 6-5 Condors. Maldonado 3-5, 3B, RBI; Greenway 2-3, 2 BB, HR, 2B, 2 RBI; M. Fernandez 2-5; Ledford (PH) 1-1;

Raccoons (30-17) @ Aces (26-22) – May 28-30, 2038

One game out in second place in the CL South were the Aces, who tried to make it to the top while sitting sixth in runs scored, sixth in runs allowed, sixth in starters’ ERA, and, for a change, fifth in bullpen ERA and defense. They also had a number of injuries (Mario Briones, Mike Hall, Jesus Rodarte were all on the DL) and we were up 2-1 in the season series.

Projected matchups:
Bryce Sparkes (4-2, 2.83 ERA) vs. Chris Crowell (4-0, 0.86 ERA)
Jared Ottinger (4-1, 3.72 ERA) vs. Israel Mendoza (4-1, 3.75 ERA)
Raffaello Sabre (3-3, 4.44 ERA) vs. Jerry Hodges (2-4, 5.32 ERA)

Three right-handers for this series.

Game 1
POR: SS Myers – 2B Trevino – CF Maldonado – RF Greenway – C Morales – LF M. Fernandez – 3B Ramos – 1B Stedham – P Sparkes
LVA: LF Velazquez – RF Platero – CF Jorgensen – 1B Marz – C Kuehn – SS O’Keefe – 3B Armfield – 2B Toney – P Crowell

Greenway put the Raccoons on top in the first inning with a grounder to the right side, scoring Trevino, who had singled ahead of Maldonado’s double. Morales struck out, ending the top 1st and bringing on Sparkes, who gave up a double in each of the first two innings, but always with two outs, and didn’t concede either Steve Jorgensen or Chad Armfield’s runs. While the Raccoons didn’t tack on any runs, and Sparkes didn’t strike out anybody the first time through (then four on his second run through four innings) all seemed fine until the fifth, where the Critters made two outs (Sparkes, Myers), then saw Cosmo bury a gapper. Upon turning second base, he stumbled and fell down, then crawled back onto the base while being in considerable agony and holding the back of his left lower leg where the achilles tendon would be. I fainted and crashed into a reception table, splashing two wives of Aces co-owners with their champagne, while Dr. Chung had Cosmo hauled off the field with the four-wheeler and his hindpaw in a splint. Rich Vickers ran for him and took over at second base, but was stranded when Maldonado struck out.

The score remained 1-0 through seven innings, with Sparkes striking out eight and even surviving Ken Wiersma pinch-hitting with Armfield on base and two outs in the bottom 7th. He was however over 100 pitches after that and would not be back for the eighth, but thanks to the off day we had our big guns aligned and rested. Dave Myers’ single led nowhere in the top 8th, but John Velazquez ripped a 1-out triple off Yeom Soung in the bottom 8th, putting the lead in danger. Prieto replaced Soung against right-handed batters, struck out Jose Platero in a crucial position, and then fell to 3-0 to Steve Jorgensen before the centerfielder poked and grounded out to Myers. Platero would catch Kilmer’s deep drive, pinch-hitting against southpaw Casey McQueen with Manny and Stedham on base, the latter having reached on Aiden Ackeret’s 2-out error, and the Raccoons remained denied, then trusted the ball to Jermaine Campbell against the 4-5-6 batters. John Marz grounded out in a full count. Paul Kuehn singled. Chris O’Keefe popped out. Right-handed .200 batter Danny Beckel pinch-hit for the pitcher in the #7 hole, hit a screamer to center, but found Maldonado with it. 1-0 Scratchers. Trevino 2-3, 2B; M. Fernandez 2-4; Sparkes 7.0 IP, 4 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 8 K, W (5-2);

There was bad news and good news from Dr. Chung. The bad news – Cosmo (.374/.415/.481 and irreplaceable) had to go to the DL. The good news – the achilles was only strained, not torn. There was a chance he might be back as soon as after the mandatory 15 days were over.

The news were at least good enough for me to ditch the oxygen mask after some 18 hours of agony.

Roster move, obviously. Steve Nickas was batting only .224 in AAA, but his defensive versatility was something that could be helpful right now.

Game 2
POR: SS Myers – 2B Vickers – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Maldonado – 3B Ramos – C Kilmer – 1B Stedham – P Ottinger
LVA: LF Velazquez – 3B Armfield – CF Jorgensen – 1B Marz – SS O’Keefe – RF Rossi – C Wiersma – 2B Toney – P I. Mendoza

The Raccoons didn’t score in the first inning, which felt weird, and in fact saw the other team score first in the third inning. Armfield’s sac fly brought home Mike Toney with an unearned run; Toney had led off the inning with a single before good old Jeff Kilmer had thrown away Mendoza’s bunt for two bases. Velazquez struck out, but Ottie conceded the run on the fly to Fernandez before retiring Jorgensen.

No Raccoon reached second base until the fifth inning, when Ottie and Myers hit back-to-back 1-out singles. Vickers popped out as his average started to crash, while Manny Fernandez slapped a ball through the right side for a game-tying single. Greenway grounded out to Toney, leaving two aboard, and Armfield gave the Aces a new lead in the bottom of the inning, hitting a 2-out RBI single after Ottinger had walked Wiersma (…) and Velazquez. Maldonado put the tying run in scoring position with nobody out in the sixth, zinging a double to left. Berto reached on a shy single that kept Maldonado at third base, but they were on the corners for Kilmer, who hit a fly to Velazquez in deep left that was caught, but enough to score Maldonado and tie the game at two. After Stedham forced out Berto, Ottie singled and Myers reached on Chris O’Keefe’s error, loading the bases for … sadly not Cosmo, but Rich Vickers, and Rich Vickers grounded out to O’Keefe on the first pitch.

Ottie pitched into the seventh before the 1-2 batters hit 2-out singles to go to the corners, knocking him from the game. Ben Feist served up an RBI single to Jorgensen, hanging Ottie on the hook before Marz flew out to Greenway. Kilmer, who had had his paws in the deficit, too, tied the score with a homer to left, though, taking Ottie off that hook in the eighth. Citriniti had a scoreless bottom of the inning. The Critters would bring the top of the order to bear on southpaw Casey McQueen in the ninth; Myers and Vickers both singled, putting the pressure on. Manny Fernandez fell to 2-2 before hitting a soft liner to second base, Aiden Ackeret lunged and missed it, and the surprised runners barely reached their new stations before rightfielder Justin Beaudoin, a tender 21-year-old rookie, could hammer one of them out. Bases loaded, no outs, Troy Greenway coming up. He was hitting .323 with 12 homers and 43 ribbies for the year, and we’d kindly take another RBI here. Or two. Or four. He struck out. Maldonado, however, didn’t, and hit a fly to left with one out. Going, going – GRAAAAAAAND SLAAAAAAAAAMMM!!! … 7-3 Raccoons! Myers 3-5; M. Fernandez 3-5, RBI; Maldonado 2-5, HR, 2B, 4 RBI;

Game 3
POR: 3B Myers – 2B Vickers – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – 1B Maldonado – CF Hooge – C Morales – SS Williams – P Sabre
LVA: 3B Armfield – RF Platero – CF Jorgensen – 1B Marz – C Kuehn – SS O’Keefe – LF Rossi – 2B Ackeret – P Hodges

Only Kuehn would bat lefty against Sabre among position players (he was a switch-hitter), so if Sabre couldn’t get his ducks in a row against THIS lineup, he couldn’t be expected to be of major use going forwards. His first two innings sure weren’t bad, with only Platero reaching on an infield single, which happened to the best of them… More agonizing was the Raccoons’ top 2nd, in which they made two outs on the base paths, with Hooge being caught stealing when Morales didn’t hit in the hit-and-run, then went on to single, and be thrown out on Elijah Williams’ single, trying to go first-to-third, displaying an astonishing amount of tone deafness for the guy supposed to have an overview over the field… That latter stupid out ended the top 2nd, but allowed Sabre to open the third inning with a double between Platero and Jorgensen. Myers and Manny would reach base to fill them up for Greenway with one out, but his drive to left was taken on the warning track by Nate Rossi; still good for a sac fly, though, which marked the first run on the board. Hodges hit Maldonado, but got Hooge on a grounder, ending the inning.

Then the Aces loaded the bases with their 8-9-1 hitters. Soft single by Ackeret, then a misfielded bunt by Sabre, and finally a hard single by Chad Armfield. The mess disappeared as fast as it had accumulated, though, with Platero striking out and Jorgensen spanking a ball to second base, where Elijah Williams warped to, snatched, toed, and fired to first for a 6-3 double play. Marz hit a leadoff single in the fourth, was doubled up, but Sabre just allowed a double to O’Keefe, and then a game-tying single to Rossi. Nope, wasn’t getting any better – six hits and one strikeout in four innings.

Portland took a 2-1 lead on straight 2-out singles by their middle of the order before Hooge flew out to Jorgensen in the fifth. Somehow the defense dragged Sabre through seven innings without blowing the lead, although the Aces twice stranded pairs against him after the fourth, and the Raccoons also left pairs on base in the seventh and eighth innings, Maldonado and Myers being the culprits. Bottom 8th, Prieto also put two on by nailing Marz and allowing a single to Kuehn. O’Keefe’s fly to right ended the inning on the warning track, Greenway making that catch.

Top 9th, Greenway was walked intentionally with Vickers on second base, one out, and righty John Landrum pitching. Maldonado popped out, Hooge fanned, and the wasted opportunities kept piling up, and none of it would matter if Jermaine Campbell saved the ballgame. Groundout, strikeout, groundout went Rossi, Ackeret, and Toney, and the Raccoons eloped with a sweep and the season series. 2-1 Critters. M. Fernandez 2-3, 2 BB; Ledford (PH) 1-1; Sabre 7.0 IP, 7 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 1 K, W (4-3);

In other news

May 26 – Atlanta’s SP Terry Garrigan (6-1, 3.02 ERA) 1-hits the Crusaders in a 6-0 shutout. NYC OF George Hawthorne (.315, 4 HR, 17 RBI) hits a sixth-inning single to deny Garrigan no-hitter fame.
May 27 – The Crusaders’ LF/RF/1B Graciano Salto (.318, 10 HR, 37 RBI) hits two homers, a double, and drives in eight runs in a 13-4 mauling of the Knights. The 8 RBI tie the Crusaders’ club record set by Stephen Walton in 1984.
May 28 – The Cyclones trade SP Tim Hale (1-4, 5.40 ERA) to the Stars for two prospects. The package includes #30 prospect C/1B David Pinedo.
May 29 – Salem LF/RF Kyle Weinstein (.295, 8 HR, 32 RBI) ends ten innings of scorelessness with a walkoff home run, beating the Cyclones 1-0.
May 30 – PIT SP Joe Martin (3-3, 3.89 ERA) could be out for the season with bone chips in his elbow.
May 30 – Also questionable to return in 2038 was SFB RF Bobby Hennessy (.239, 1 HR, 12 RBI), who was out with a broken kneecap.

FL Player of the Week: SAC LF/RF/1B Carlos Cortes (.340, 12 HR, 35 RBI), hitting .435 (10-23) with 4 HR and 7 RBI
CL Player of the Week: NYC LF/RF/1B Graciano Salto (.310, 11 HR, 39 RBI), swatting .381 (8-21) with 5 HR and a stupid 15 RBI

Complaints and stuff

Since going 0-for-30, Manny Fernandez has chained up five multi-hit games, and batted .500 (11-22) with no homers and 3 RBI for the week. Baseball is weird, stupid, wicked, and we’ll never understand it.

We were the first team to 30 wins, doing so on Tuesday.

Troy Greenway ties for the league lead in homers and RBI, which means a broken leg is coming for him. Losing Trevino for two weeks was already unfortunate, but losing Greenway would be disaster.

We will be at home next week, hosting the Falcons and damn Elks, and then stupid travel will kick in. For the rest of June the Raccoons will cross the Rockies six times, twice for a single series in Boston and then Topeka before a longer 3-city road trip would begin on the 25th and stretch into July.

The draft is only about two weeks away, and the Raccoons started to clean some house early. Three minor leaguers were ditches this week, the only one of note being Matt Triolo. The 29-year-old infielder was hitting .176 in Ham Lake. Between 2035 and 2036 he had hit .199 with no homers and 12 RBI in 89 big league games. Also dumped was 2032 Nick Brown Memorial Pick Matt Westberg, stuck in Ham Lake at age 26.

Fun Fact: Tijuana’s George Griffin logged his 3,000th inning on Tuesday, which he achieved with the very first out of the game.

Griffin, 38, is a career Condor. They took him at #2 in the 2020 draft and he made his debut barely a year after that. Employed as swingman in his first two seasons, he became an exclusive starter in 2023 at the age of 23 (oh the beauty of being born in late 1999). Griffin won two ERA titles (2031, 2035), a Gold Glove, a championship (2029), and was an All Star twice.

For his career he’s 183-145 with a 3.37 ERA and 2,415 K. This includes the L he got on Tuesday.

[Westheim]

Raccoons (33-17) vs. Falcons (20-30) – May 31-June 2, 2038

The Falcons were burdened with the unhappy combination of having an endless parade of mediocre to bad starting pitchers, with the second-worst ERA in the Continental League, while also having the worst offense. They were scoring only 3.7 runs per game, which was bad enough, but combined with the bad pitching they just had no hope. The Raccoons were up 2-1 in the season series.

Projected matchups:
Steve Fidler (2-1, 4.32 ERA) vs. Keith Black (4-4, 4.57 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (3-4, 4.66 ERA) vs. Vinny Olguin (1-5, 6.00 ERA)
Bryce Sparkes (5-2, 2.54 ERA) vs. Rafael Pedraza (4-4, 4.95 ERA)

The Raccoons continued to dance out of the way of left-handed starters; again they’d see only right-handers in this series.

Game 1
CHA: 2B O. Aguirre – CF J. Reyna – SS Aparicio – 1B Levis – 3B Farfan – RF Trahan – C K. Morris – LF Aarhus – P K. Black
POR: SS Myers – 2B Vickers – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Maldonado – 3B Ramos – C Morales – 1B Stedham – P Fidler

Worst offense or not – with Steve Fidler on the mound we were concerned about open season being declared on our starter at any time but he actually got a few zeroes up early, while the Raccoons cobbled a run together in the bottom of the first, Maldonado singling home Dave Myers with two outs. In the second, Jesse Stedham actually showed a ******* pulse, going yard to right with Tony Morales on base after a leadoff single, and after Vickers’ double and a walk drawn by Manny Fernandez, Troy Greenway took Keith Black’s soul away with a blast to right-center, his 13th of the season, so now I was actually concerned about broken legs for him.

And yet, ******* Steve Fidler would not get the W. He didn’t get much of anything, except torn to shreds. The Falcons got their start in the fourth with a Myers error, actually the third Raccoons in error in the game, but this was the one that exploded the game. The throwing error gave Kevin Morris two bases and allowed Dave Trahan (double) to score, but it was still 6-1, and Greg Aarhus from Aalborg grounded out, so now there were two outs. From here, Fabien Ugolino, Oscar Aguirre, Jonathan Reyna, Tony Aparicio, and Doug Levis hit an endless stream of singles, narrowing the lead from 6-1 to 6-5, all runs unearned, but honestly, **** that. Fidler was hauled after walking Jose Farfan, then put straight on the next bus to the swamps. David Fernandez struck out Trahan, ending the inning, and I opened another bottle of Capt’n Coma, because I needed it. That, and another starting pitcher.

2-out hits by Manny, Greenway (double), and Maldonado procured two runs in the bottom 4th to re-stretch the lead to 8-5. Ben Feist was sent out for two innings in the sixth and seventh, which worked until it didn’t and the Falcons ripped him for three straight 2-out knocks, getting two runs across to narrow the score to 8-7 again. Yeom Soung got a key K on PH Federico Nuno in the #2 hole to exit that nightmare inning. The Raccoons got Myers and Vickers to the corners in the bottom 8th, but then Manny Fernandez hit into a double play to kill the chance. At least Jermaine Campbell was good for two strikeouts and an easy Aarhus fly to Maldonado to save this klunker of a game. 8-7 Raccoons. Vickers 3-5, 2B; Greenway 3-3, BB, HR, 2B, 4 RBI; Maldonado 3-4, 2 RBI;

Fidler was gone. His ERA was now under four, but he was a nightmare. Five unearned runs? He sure had a paw in them!

The Raccoons didn’t bring up a starter right away; with Thursday off, they could get around a fifth starter until next week. Instead we duplicated Rich Vickers, bringing up Jose Brito, batting .335 with 8 homers in St. Petersburg.

Game 2
CHA: 2B O. Aguirre – C Sawyer – 3B Farfan – SS Aparicio – 1B Regan – RF Trahan – CF J. Reyna – LF Ugolino – P Olguin
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Myers – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Maldonado – 2B Brito – 1B Stedham – C Kilmer – P Chavez

Come Tuesday, the Raccoons couldn’t get anybody out in the second inning. Aparicio, Greg Regan, and Trahan opened with straight hits, eventually amounting to two runs, while Bernie Chavez also walked Ugolino and Aguirre before Mike Sawyer mercifully popped out on a 3-1 pitch, stranding three. Bernie was yelled at a bit between innings, I was yelled at by Maud for accidentally discharging the blunderbuss into the drywall (I was aiming at Stedham, who dropped a feed from Myers in the third inning for an error), and the Raccoons took their sweet time to get going. In the fourth inning they had Myers on base leading off, and when Manny Fernandez grounded to Aguirre, the Gold Glover threw the ball well past Tony Aparicio for a 2-base error. And then with runners in scoring position and nobody out, Greenway popped out, Maldonado hit a comebacker, and Brito flew out to center, and nobody scored. The agony was … the agony was there.

Top 6th, the score was still 2-0 when Dave Trahan hit a leadoff single off Chavez. Our pitcher threw away Reyna’s bunt, and after a fielder’s choice grounder, Olguin was down 0-2, then ripped an RBI double to left. That was it for Bernie, and the Falcons packed five total on him with the single Aguirre whacked off Antonio Prieto. The Raccoons scratched out a meaningless run in the bottom of the inning, Jose Brito getting his first RBI of the season, and then Myers gave it back with another stupid error behind Garavito, conceding an unearned run in the seventh. By the seventh inning stretch, the team looked dead. Olguin got Kilmer on a grounder to begin the eighth, then gave up a single to Ed Hooge, pinch-hitting in the #9 hole. Berto singled, Myers hit a gapper for a 2-run double, and Fernandez shoved an RBI single to right, and suddenly Greenway was up as the tying run, but grounded out. Fernandez advanced there, then again on a wild pitch, then scored on Maldonado’s single, 6-5. Brad Ledford hit for Brito, but grounded out.

David Fernandez was promptly raided for a 3-run homer by Tony Aparicio in the ninth inning, putting the Raccoons back by slam depth again. Bottom 9th? Stedham and Kilmer reached base to lead off. Elijah Williams popped out. The Falcons frantically changed pitchers here, bringing the left-hander Daniel Miller against Berto. Ramos put the 2-2 in play, Aparicio fumbled it, and the bases were loaded for Myers. Lorenzo Campos was the fourth reliever of the inning, but gave up an RBI single to Dave Myers, as everybody went station by station. That brought up the good bats in a winning-run position and with one out; Manny ran a full count before taking ball four low, forcing home a run, 9-7. Troy Greenway never got nearly as far, getting nicked by an 0-1 pitch, again shoving everybody on by 90 feet, 9-8. Maldonado was next, and slapped a 1-2 pitch up the middle – neither infielder reached it, RBI single, tied ballgame!! Holy …!! The #6 slot held the pitcher Fernandez, who might end up winning if he could get Manny across. Tony Morales pinch-hit, the last lefty option on the bench (besides Steve Nickas, ha-hah). Morales struck out. Stedham popped out. The rally died, and we went to extra innings…

Top 10th, Dennis Citriniti put on Nuno with a single past Ramos, Andres Santana on a walk, and Aguirre by drilling him with two outs. Sawyer dished a drive to center – but Maldonado remained master of that ball. Portland did nothing, and Citriniti gave up leadoff singles in the 11th to put two on, then somehow got a pop and a double play. Then the Raccoons’ turn to load the bases was up. Manny hit a 1-out single, then stole second base off Ernie Quintero. Greenway was walked intentionally, and Maldonado was nicked, and at this point you didn’t know whether the pitchers were this inept or were doing it with intent. Rich Vickers hit for Citriniti, with any deep fly good enough. He hit a hard grounder to Aparicio, who killed Manny at home before Stedham ran a full count and somehow flicked a 2-out single into left to end the miserable charade. 10-9 Blighters. Myers 2-4, 2 BB, 2B, 2 RBI; M. Fernandez 2-5, BB, 3 RBI; Maldonado 2-5, 2 RBI; Stedham 3-5, BB, 2B, RBI; Hooge (PH) 1-1; Citriniti 2.0 IP, 3 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 0 K, W (3-0);

I would like to say that a win is a win is a win, but I can’t get it out.

Maybe after another bottle of booze and another pawful of these muscle relaxants.

Game 3
CHA: CF J. Reyna – C Sawyer – 3B Farfan – SS Aparicio – RF Trahan – 2B A. Santana – 1B Ugolino – LF Nuno – P Pedraza
POR: 3B Myers – 2B Vickers – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Maldonado – C Morales – SS Williams – 1B Stedham – P Sparkes

All I did was ask Bryce Sparkes for decency. I got a Sawyer single and an Aparicio homer right in the first. Sparkes had no decency to offer, being behind most hitters, and giving up another run on two hits in the third inning. The rest of the team? Not much better. Greenway was on in the bottom 2nd. Morales doubled him off. Pedraza saw the minimum the first time through, and also in the fourth. By the fifth, the Falcons were up 5-0 thanks to another Sawyer single and Dave Trahan’s homer to center. Dead center at that. Portland had Maldonado and Morales on with one out in the bottom 5th, then saw Williams hit into a 6-4-3 double play.

The only vague offense was a pinch-hit double by Ed Hooge in the sixth inning, which led to a run on a Vickers single. Apart from that we could point at scoreless relief by Garavito and Feist after six sparky innings by Bryce Shambles, and that was about it. Well – and then the middle of the order came up in he bottom 9th against Pedraza, who got a grounder from Vickers, then saw Manny reach on a Santana error, and gave up a single to Greenway. Josh Livingston, the ex-Coon, replaced him, and gave up a single to Maldonado. Bases full, tying run at the plate, but Morales hadn’t gotten it done the day before, either. He didn’t this time, either, swatting a grounder into a 4-6-3 double play. 5-1 Falcons. Greenway 2-4; Maldonado 3-4; Hooge (PH) 1-1, 2B; Garavito 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 2 K;

Our rotation is racing to the bottom of the table…

Raccoons (35-18) vs. Canadiens (30-21) – June 4-6, 2038

The Raccoons’ rotation was not really in a position to play the most odorous team in baseball, but the schedule demanded a 3-game set on the weekend. That most odorous team was four games behind and in third place, and was up 3-2 in the season set, so we had to scratch and claw and not let them get closer. These were the two teams with the most runs scored, but other than us they actually had decent defense and good pitching. They were second in runs allowed, with a +83 run differential, which was reason to be scared. The Raccoons’ was down to +49 after the Falcons set.

Projected matchups:
Jared Ottinger (4-1, 3.61 ERA) vs. Matt Sealock (5-2, 3.86 ERA)
Raffaello Sabre (4-3, 4.07 ERA) vs. Alexander Lewis (2-4, 2.83 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (3-4, 4.99 ERA) vs. David Arias (5-3, 2.62 ERA)

Southpaw on Saturday!

Game 1
VAN: 2B Morrow – 1B J. Lopez – CF Outram – C Clemente – RF R. Phillips – SS Cabral – LF LeJeune – 3B Schneider – P Sealock
POR: SS Myers – 2B Vickers – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Maldonado – 3B Ramos – 1B Stedham – C Morales – P Ottinger

The #1 and #2 offenses in the CL offered no runs the first time through, with only Jerry Outram reaching base with a 2-out triple over Maldonado in the first inning. Calm before the storm – the fourth began with Johnny Lopez and Outram whacking singles, then a 3-run bomb by Timóteo Clemente. Jesse LeJeune, the dismal ****head, hit a single with two outs, stole second, and scored on Brian Schneider’s single, giving them a 4-0 lead. (reaches for Cristiano Carmona’s hand) I just… Cristiano, I just want to hold this for a while…

Ottinger did not allow more runs, but also only lasted six innings and struck out only one batter, the opposing pitcher in a glue-like outing. The Raccoons had all of three base hits during his tenure, which included a solo homer by Greenway in the fifth, and also one Maldonado single that immediately led to Clemente throwing out a base stealer… They didn’t get anything off Sealock in the seventh and eighth, with righty Tim Zimmerman replacing the starter only in the bottom of the ninth. A pinch-hit single by Jose Brito and Manny Fernandez getting nailed with two outs brought up Greenway as the tying run, and Greenway found a hanger and hung it in a new place, 12 rows up in the rightfield stands. (jumps up still grabbing Cristiano’s paw and throws hands in the air, ripping Cristiano out of his seat) HOME RUN!! HOME RUN!! HOME RUN!! TIED BALLGAME!!

…which led to extras when new pitcher Marcos Ochoa got Maldonado to ground out. With four left-handers in the next five hitters for Vancouver, Yeom Soung got the ball in the 10th. Outram singled. Timóteo Clemente (not a lefty bat) walked. Then Soung, without moving a facial muscle, struck out three, including a pair of righty pinch-hitters, Pat Pohl and Edgar Serrano. The Raccoons made two outs against Ochoa to begin the bottom 10th before Morales hit a ball off the fence for a double. Hooge flicked a single to left, and Morals had gone on contact and scored two steps ahead of Outram’s throw. It’s a walkoff!! 5-4 Raccoons!! Brito (PH) 1-1; Greenway 2-4, 2 HR, 4 RBI;

Dr. Chung? I think I tore Cristiano’s arm from the shoulder socket. – Well, I was excited! – I see, I see, Dr. Chung. They don’t like excited in Pyongyang, huh?

Game 2
VAN: 2B Morrow – 1B J. Lopez – CF Outram – C Clemente – RF R. Phillips – SS Cabral – LF LeJeune – 3B Schneider – P A. Lewis
POR: 3B Myers – 1B Vickers – LF M. Fernandez – CF Maldonado – RF Greenway – 2B Brito – SS Williams – C Kilmer – P Sabre

As usual, the Coons fell behind, with Sabre giving up two hits for a run in the second inning, and that was with the revolting thorn in our sides LeJeune being robbed in the gap by Maldonado. Sabre made it up to us, finding Williams and Kilmer on the corners with two outs in the bottom 2nd and hitting a duck snort for a game-tying single. Myers legged out an infield single to load the bases for Vickers, still hitting .321 now with more regular appearances, but his fly to left ended up with LeJeune. Maldonado would also rob Jerry Outram in deep center in the fifth inning, and in between Greenway also made a heroic play in right. The Elks only got three hits in five innings, but they also hit quite a few balls that looked like damage that didn’t do any…

After a Ryan Phillips single and a walk to LeJeune (grumble grumble) in the sixth, Brian Schneider grounded out to short, stranding two. At that point, the teams were tied with four hits and one run each. Lewis retired the meat of the Critters’ order in the bottom 6th, while Sabre got three grounders from the 9-1-2 hitters in the seventh. Brito hit a deep fly to center in the bottom 7th, but the ball was caught by Outram racing back. Sabre would end up with a no-decision; he got two more outs in the eighth from Outram and Phillips, but after 102 pitches and three lefty bats up, the Raccoons pulled the plug on him. With #9 leading off in the bottom 8th, a double switch removed Brito for Stedham (with Vickers to his usual position), and Soung coming in to pitch. Phillips grounded out to end the inning, and Soung kept the tie in a kempt state through regulation, with the damn Elks sticking to Lewis in the bottom 9th, with the meat of the order back up. Manny grounded out, but Maldonado singled in the infield fashion. Greenway then got doubled up, sending another game to extra innings…

There, the Critters stuck to Soung with Fernando Alba pinch-hitting. He gave up a single, but got a groundout from the next left-hander, Jacob Kolbe, batting first. Prieto then replaced him, walked Johnny Lopez, and allowed two singles and a run to break the tie… Phillips grounded out to end the inning. Prieto had entered in a double switch, with Ledford leading off the bottom 10th and Greenway gone. Ledford doubled off Tim Zimmerman, Berto hit for Williams, shot a liner – but right at Alex Perez at short for the first out. Thankfully Ledford was alert and stepped back to the base immediately. No such problems with Jeff Kilmer. His fly to right was well and truly gone, for ANOTHER extra-inning walkoff!! 3-2 Critters!! Ledford 1-1, 2B; Kilmer 2-4, HR, 2 RBI; Sabre 7.2 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 4 BB, 4 K and 1-2, RBI; Soung 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 1 K;

(breathless)

Alright, yes, Cristiano. I‘ll bring you to the elevator. – (pushes Cristiano with arm in sling towards the door, then on the turn rams his knee into the door frame) – I am very … is that blood? – Dr. Chung? – DR. CHU-HUNG??

Game 3
VAN: 2B Morrow – 1B J. Lopez – CF Outram – C Clemente – RF R. Phillips – SS Cabral – LF LeJeune – 3B Schneider – P D. Arias
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Maldonado – CF Hooge – RF Greenway – LF Ledford – 2B Vickers – 1B Stedham – C Morales – P Chavez

Would Bernie finally not suck? He stranded runners on the corners in the first, and got a 1-0 lead when Troy Greenway continued to destroy pitching with a solo homer to right. Bernie remained wobbly though; Morrow walked and Outram singled in the third, but were stranded, but in the fourth the Elks’ 5-6-7 went single, double, RBI single to open the inning, tying the game in the process. Bernie got a crucial K against Brian Schneider, Arias made a poor out, and the go-ahead runs were stranded when Morrow grounded out to Ramos. Troy Greenway shrugged, homered, and it was 2-1 with one gone in the bottom 4th. Ledford and Vickers both hit deep flies to left, but both were caught by LeJeune. Outram singled with one out in the fifth, but was caught stealing, and Bernie Chavez kept his pokey black nose above water despite the Raccoons being out-hit 6-3. Morales and Ramos hit singles in the bottom 5th, but in between Bernie Chavez forced out Morales with a bad bunt, and nobody scored.

Bernie was done after six, having conceded just the one run on seven hits. He also struck out seven, which amounted to 104 pitches through six innings, which was quite a bit much. Prieto had a clean seventh, after which the wheels were about coming off. Outram, unretired in this game and hitting .423 overall now (…!), hit a leadoff single off Garavito, who got two outs and a Ramos error behind him that didn’t ******* help anything. With Edgar Serrano pinch-hitting for LeJeune, Citriniti came in over Garavito, good stuff against inconsistent contact in the money spot. Strikeout, inning over. Top 9th, Campbell struck out Schneider, then walked Alba, who was run for by Alex Perez, while Jacob Kolbe hit for Morrow again. The third full count of the inning saw a fly out to deep center, and Perez raced for second base when Hooge’s momentum took him near the warning track. Johnny Lopez grounded out to Stedham, completing the sweep! 2-1 Critters! Ramos 3-4; Greenway 2-3, 2 HR, 2 RBI; Chavez 6.0 IP, 7 H, 1 R 1, ER 2 BB; 7 K, W (4-4);

In other news

June 2 – The Condors put 10 runs on the Crusaders in the first inning, then cruise to a 12-1 win. TIJ RF/LF/1B Giacomino Vitalini (.333, 4 HR, 11 RBI) has three hits, two homers and a triple, and drives in four runs.
June 5 – CHA 2B/SS Oscar Aguirre (.238, 1 HR, 27 RBI) was off to the DL with a sore shoulder. He was expected back at the end of the month.
June 6 – TOP SP Miguel Alvarado (5-5, 4.32 ERA) 3-hits the Rebels in a 3-0 shutout.
June 6 – The Loggers put four runs on the Titans in the first inning, then nothing more in the next 16 innings before 1B Travis Park (.242, 2 HR, 5 RBI) hits a 2-run home run off Sean Bastone (0-0, 6.35 ERA) in the top of the 18th, leading to a 6-4 Loggers win.

FL Player of the Week: SAL INF Jose Castro (.225, 6 HR, 22 RBI), hitting .393 (11-28) with 4 HR, 9 RBI
CL Player of the Week: VAN OF Jerry Outram (.423, 9 HR, 40 RBI), hitting .667 (18-27) with 1 HR, 1 RBI

FL Hitter of the Month: SFW LF/1B/RF Melvin Hernandez (.369, 6 HR, 32 RBI), hitting .409, 3 HR, 23 RBI
CL Hitter of the Month: MIL SS/2B Ted Del Vecchio (.365, 3 HR, 40 RBI), hitting .396, 2 HR, 25 RBI
FL Pitcher of the Month: SFW SP Zach Warner (6-0, 3.00 ERA), hurling 5-0, 2.13 ERA
CL Pitcher of the Month: MIL MR Carlos Padilla (6-0, 2.52 ERA), relieving at 6-0, 1.50 ERA
FL Rookie of the Month: SAL 1B/LF/RF Jose Rivera (.333, 9 HR, 28 RBI), hitting .315, 5 HR, 17 RBI
CL Rookie of the Month: SFB RF/LF/1B Dave Martinez (.270, 11 HR, 32 RBI), hitting .236, 6 HR, 19 RBI

Complaints and stuff

(tries to feed Cristiano soup) Cristiano, you have to stop crying, you’re making a mess. – Yes, I’m sorry. – Yes, for the shoulder. – And the leg. – And that I poured your painkillers into my booze as soon as Bernie put a guy on base.

Troy Greenway won the Friday game mostly by himself; while the walkoff job was done by Hooge, that was only because Greenway didn’t come up in extras. That was also the 54th game of the year, marking one third of the season completed. At that point, Greenway had 53 RBI. Merely on pace for 159! Sunday was of course all Greenway.

For these reasons, the Raccoons will be renamed the Portland Greenways.

Of course, hitting five homers and driving in 11 this week got him no love from the braindead electorate, who made a ******* stupid Elk Player of the Week over him. Greenway hit .455, for ****’s sake!!

And for breaking news – the Raccoons’ defense and pitching is still dead. That is the rotation; the pen is doing just fine. They posted a 4.15 ERA as a group this week. That doesn’t include the five unearned runs off Fidler, the insufferable sod. They were giving up 5.45 runs per nine innings.

No off day next week, with four games in Boston and then three at home against the Warriors. We will bring up Gene Tennis for Jose Brito to take the open slot in the rotation. It’s not what anybody wants – besides maybe Gene Tennis’ mom.

Fun Fact: Jerry Outram is hitting .423/.502/.635 with 9 HR and 40 RBI in a dazzling display of offense at age 23.

It worms me greatly that he’s with the enemy, and shoved us ELEVEN hits in the three games this weekend. You know, what’s funny? Yes, he hit .786, yada-yada. But he drove in no runs and scored only once!

*Last* time around, he hit .333 (4-12) in a 3-game set, drove in nobody, and scored only once. In fact he hasn’t drive in a run against Portland in seven straight games, after hitting two homers and driving in five on Opening Day against us.

[alexsimon99]

I do like the accidental slip-up in calling this team the Mets ... it made me laugh pretty hard.

I'm really liking this season so far!

[Westheim]

Originally Posted by alexsimon99

I do like the accidental slip-up in calling this team the Mets ... it made me laugh pretty hard.

I'm really liking this season so far!

Oh, lemon and carbuncle!! ... Well, I keep my texts for both threads in the same word file and I copied the wrong base lines at the start today.

[UltimateAverageGuy]

This team could be the greatest Raccoon team of all time. We shall see.

[Questdog]

Wow! That might have been the most exciting sweep of the Mooseheads, ever! Of course, I would rather have seen 3 straight 14 to 0 games, but that was exciting!