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| OOTP Dynasty Reports Tell us about the OOTP dynasties you have built! |
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#1 |
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Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Norwood, MA
Posts: 5,450
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TED'S FROZEN HEAD - An alternate baseball rivalry
SPLENDID SPLINTER SUFFERS CARDIAC ARREST
"Greatest Hitter Who Ever Lived" Dead at 83 July 6, 2002 - Crystal River, FL An American legend died last night, perhaps one of the last ones in existence. Ted Williams was not the most pleasant man, but there was no denying that he more than made up for his taciturn ways on the field. He was the posterboy for the Boston Red Sox during his 19 year career, much like Babe Ruth and Joe Dimaggio were for the Yankees. Despite an adversarial relationship with the press, fans adored him and pitchers feared him. He missed four seasons in his prime due to stints in World War II and the Korean War, making his achievements all the more impressive. He would have easily eclipsed 3000 hits and 650 homeruns if he had not gone off to war, and the Red Sox might not be going on 85 years without a championship. ![]() After his retirement, Williams served for a while as manager of the hapless Washington Senators from 1969-72, leading them to an 86-76 record in his first season, but quickly losing patience with the attitudes of younger players. In recent years, Ted became a fixture at autograph shows. He was managed by his son, John Henry Williams. Even though rumors of exploitation followed them at every step, no evidence existed to prove such claims. Boston has lost a hero. Baseball has lost an icon. It will be a long time before another player of The Kid's caliber comes along, and when he does, Williams' former team will still be searching for their first championship since 1918. Last edited by metsgeek; 10-18-2005 at 11:20 PM. |
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#2 |
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Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Norwood, MA
Posts: 5,450
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WILLIAMS' DAUGHTER WITHDRAWS SUIT
Slugger's body to remain cryogenically frozen December 21, 2002 - Scottsdale, AZ One of the strangest chapters in baseball lore has come to a close. After coming to an agreement over the distribution of a $645,000 trust fund, Barbara Joyce Ferrell, Ted Williams' daughter by his first marriage, has stopped her objections to her brother John Henry's plans to cryogenically preserve her father's body. Reports from an unnamed source at the Alcor Life Extension Foundation tell a gory story. Supposedly Williams' head has been separated from the body, shaved and drilled with holes. In addition, the skull has been cracked at least ten times as a result of fluctuating temperatures in the storage unit. This is reported to be quite common. An example of the stasis container in which Williams' body is reputedly frozen Last edited by metsgeek; 10-18-2005 at 11:20 PM. |
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#3 |
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Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Norwood, MA
Posts: 5,450
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Theo Epstein looked around his office with a grim smile. He had only been living his boyhood dream for a couple of months and he still had to pinch himself occasionally. Who would have thought that, at the tender age of twenty-eight, he would become the youngest general manager of a major league baseball team, much less of the Boston Red Sox, his favorite since he grew up in nearby Brookline.
His morning reverie was interrupted by the ringing of his office phone. Picking it up, he listened to the voice on the other end for a few seconds, then said quietly, "Thank you. Send it up immediately." A few moments later, the private elevator hummed as it rose to his floor. The doors opened and in trundled a delivery man lugging a large metal case on a hand cart. Epstein pointed to the far corner of the room, away from the windows, and thanked the man, ushering him out quickly. He stared at the metal cube, examining it carefully. It was approximately eighteen inches to a side and was apparently quite heavy from the manner in which the delivery man had struggled. The young general manager walked over to the case and placed his hand upon it reverently. It was ice cold. |
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#4 |
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All Star Reserve
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 930
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You have some odd ideas.
Odd but good. I'll be reading. |
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#5 |
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All Star Starter
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: OKC
Posts: 1,534
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I hope hilarity ensues
god, please, let hilarity ensue!!! |
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#6 | |
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Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Norwood, MA
Posts: 5,450
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Quote:
I'm starting with the 2003 season, so the Red Sox have not yet broken "The Curse", and the rivalry is at its peak. The ice cold box is just the tip of the proverbial "iceberg".....pun certainly intended. |
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#7 |
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All Star Starter
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Arizona
Posts: 1,044
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Looks pretty warped. I'll be watching.
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#8 |
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Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Picturesque Mentor-on-the-Lake, Ohio
Posts: 3,708
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Ted's Frozen Head would be a good name for a band.
__________________
Frankenstein never scared me. Marsupials do....cause they're fast! Gibson swings, and a fly ball to deep right field! This is gonna be a home run! Unbelievable! A home run for Gibson! And the Dodgers have won the game, 5 to 4; I don't believe what I just saw! I don't believe what I just saw! |
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#9 |
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All Star Starter
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 1,320
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Yikes, Bob, I was thinking the exact same thing.
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#10 |
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Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Norwood, MA
Posts: 5,450
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![]() Red Sox find "diamond in the rough" March 5, 2003 BOSTON -- Every few years, rumors begin to fly of a special player. One who will change the destiny of a team. One who will break records and erase memories of falling short in past seasons. This year, the rumors have come to Beantown....with one difference. They appear to be true. His name is Billy Eiskopf and, despite never playing in the minor leagues, he is slotted in as their starting leftfielder. Little is known about this young man. General managers throughout the majors were stunned that Eiskopf wasn't even on their radar. He never played college ball, nor does he appear to have ever played in high school. Despite many attempts to track down his origins, everyone has come up emptyhanded and the Red Sox general manager is remaining tightlipped. One player may not be able to carry a team, but if he comes close to living up to the hype, this may be the Red Sox's year to pass the Yankees and finally throw off "The Curse of the Bambino". Personally, I can't wait until Opening Day. Last edited by metsgeek; 10-19-2005 at 07:51 PM. |
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#11 |
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Banned
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Bay Area
Posts: 3,415
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... and Mike Crudale.
Lookin' good, metsgeek! |
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#12 |
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Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Norwood, MA
Posts: 5,450
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RRRIIIINNNNNNNGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!
"Hello?" "Cashman, I am not happy." "Sir??? I don't understand. The season hasn't even started. What happened?" "Don't dissemble, Brian. You know what I'm referring to. This is not acceptable." "Eiskopf." "Yes.....Eiskopf. Where did this kid come from, Cashman? How can I spend so much on scouting.....how can the resources of the richest baseball franchise in the world miss such an obvious talent?" "Sir...." "I am FURIOUS, Cashman! What are you going to do? Stop licking my duodenum and get to work!!!!" "But, sir......." "Remove your nose from my sphincter and start up Project Einstein. It's time to play hardball." "Project Einstein, sir? Are you sure? The repercussions could be catastrophic!" "Dead certain, Cashman. DEAD. CERTAIN. Cost does not matter" "Understood, sir." "When can it be implemented? I want this to be our top priority." "We can get it up within the month, sir." "Good. That little punk up in Boston is gonna crap his diapers and I'll be laughing the entire time." "Yes, sir." |
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#13 |
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Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Norwood, MA
Posts: 5,450
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floating....drifting.....the roar of the ocean muffles his heart and the voices past the barrier. "....he awake yet...." "...oon....nearly fully developed....." "when can he..........from the vat? ......morrow?" silence....darkness....time passes.... lights....sirens....shouting PAIN. BURNING LUNGS. CHOKING. SHATTERED GLASS. PAIN AGAIN, THEN.....UNCONSCIOUSNESS Billy woke again, biting back a scream as the dream faded into his subconsciousness. He was drenched in sweat, tangled in his sheets, and for a moment he could not remember where he was. Gradually, as his breathing slowed to normal, he recognized the apartment rented for him by Mr. Epstein. His uniform was laid out on the chair next to his bed ready for the flight to Tampa. Opening Day was tomorrow and he was about to begin his career in baseball, even though he could not remember anything beyond the last month. Mr. Epstein said he had suffered a head injury, which caused his amnesia. It was a cutter that didn't cut. Hit him right on the temple, they said. Put him into a coma. Funny that he had no mark, but it could have healed. Mr. Epstein said he would handle the press...not to say anything about what had happened...not to make reference to the past. Not that he could if he wanted to. From what he knew, he had no family. But what about friends? Mr. Epstein was his friend, he supposed. He had much to think about, but for now, all he wanted to do was play ball. The only times he truly felt peace were when he was at the plate, staring down an opposing pitcher, or loping in the outfield as he tracked down a fly ball. Baseball was the only truth he knew right now. Perhaps it would help him remember eventually. Last edited by metsgeek; 10-24-2005 at 09:20 PM. |
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#14 |
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Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Norwood, MA
Posts: 5,450
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REDSOXKICKASS.COM A fan's fansite for the diehard Sox fan! ![]() LETTERS TO SULLY - 4/2/03 Hey Sully, I'm wicked psyched for this season. I definitely think this is the year, ya know? I gotta question for ya. Do ya think this kid Eiskopf is the real deal? He sure looked good in spring training. Friggin' 9 jacks in 20 games! Sweet! I sure hope he keeps it up. That would be wicked pissah! Charley McIntyre Brookline, MA Charley, After last night's game, it looks pretty good. 1 for 2 with 2 RBI and 3 walks. I hope they don't keep walking him though. Who the heck walks a rookie 3 times in his first major league game ever? I guess the Devil Rays do. It sure didn't help them, though. They still lost 7-3. Pedro looked okay, except for the 4th. (Friggin' Damian Rolls, man. Who'da thunk it?) and Ramiro was lights out. To answer your original question...yeah, I do think he's the real deal, but he's not gonna be the savior. If he hit's a solid .300 with 30 jacks and 100 RBI, we should be ecstatic. As it is, i think he'll definitely be in the running for Rookie of the Year. Check back with me in a month or so, and we'll see how things are working out. As always......Yankees suck my nads, Sully |
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#15 |
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Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Norwood, MA
Posts: 5,450
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![]() Cincy and Beantown swap firstbaseman April 3, 2003 Cincinnati gets : 1B Kevin Millar & LF Jeremy Giambi Boston gets : P Ryan Wagner & 1B Sean Casey It looks like the rumors were true. Kevin Millar had been demanding a trade since spring training after an unexplained aversion to playing with newcomer Billy Eiskopf, despite the kid's obvious talent. Sources within the organization state that Millar refused to give any reason for his instant dislike of the young leftfielder except for the fact that Eiskopf "creeped him out". The Reds had earlier inquired about any interest in Sean Casey, and as soon as Ryan Wagner's name came in the mix, the deal was in the books. With this move, David Ortiz is likely to bat solely as a DH, and Johnny Damon will substitute in all fields to make up for the vacancy created by Millar. |
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#16 |
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Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Norwood, MA
Posts: 5,450
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"Come in, Cashman. Help yourself to a bagel. I just had them delivered."
"Thank you, sir, but I'm on a diet." "Cashman...." "I'd be glad to have a bagel, sir." "So, Cashman. What is the status of Project Einstein? We need to put it on the front burner." "Eiskopf may not be as dangerous as we thought, sir. He still hasn't hit a homer this season after one week." "Don't be an idiot, Cashman." "Sir???" "He's batting .375 with 8 RBI in his first 6 games, and he's walked 10 times! When he begins to knock them out, and you know he will, it's going to get even worse....and they're still undefeated" "I'm sorry, sir. I just feel that Project Einstein is a unduly drastic measure." "That's my decision to make. Now shut your piehole." "Yes, sir." "........WELL?????" "Sir??? "HOW IS THE PROJECT GOING????" "You told me to shut my piehole, sir......... SIR!!....there's no need to throw things! The project should be complete in about 3 weeks, but it is going over budget, sir." "I said cost did not matter, Cashman." "We have eclipsed the $250 million mark....sir, are you okay? You're face is turning purple." "Never mind, Cashman. Have you determined who will make contact with the target?" "We haven't settled on a candidate, sir." "I want you to do it." "ME???? SIR????" "Yes, you. The fewer people who are in the know, the better. You'll be going as soon as the project is complete. No arguments." THUMP!!!! "Cashman?? CASHMAN??? Damn it....... Trudy??" "Yes, sir" "Get a maid in here. Cashman messed the rug again and it's starting to stink." |
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#17 |
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Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Norwood, MA
Posts: 5,450
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League Standings Report - Sunday, 4/16/2003
Code:
AMERICAN LEAGUE Standings Eastern Division Team W L PCT GB Pyt.Rec New York (A) 11 2 .846 - 10-3 Boston 9 4 .692 2.0 9-4 Baltimore 7 5 .583 3.5 8-4 Toronto 6 7 .462 5.0 6-7 Tampa Bay 1 12 .077 10.0 2-11 Central Division Team W L PCT GB Pyt.Rec Kansas City 9 4 .692 - 8-5 Minnesota 6 6 .500 2.5 7-5 Cleveland 6 7 .462 3.0 5-8 Chicago (A) 5 7 .417 3.5 7-5 Detroit 3 9 .250 5.5 2-10 Western Division Team W L PCT GB Pyt.Rec Texas 10 3 .769 - 9-4 Anaheim 8 5 .615 2.0 8-5 Oakland 6 8 .429 4.5 6-8 Seattle 3 11 .214 7.5 5-9 Code:
NATIONAL LEAGUE Standings Eastern Division Team W L PCT GB Pyt.Rec Florida 10 4 .714 - 9-5 Philadelphia 9 4 .692 .5 9-4 Montreal 7 6 .538 2.5 7-6 New York (N) 5 8 .385 4.5 4-9 Atlanta 2 11 .154 7.5 3-10 Central Division Team W L PCT GB Pyt.Rec St. Louis 9 4 .692 - 8-5 Chicago (N) 7 6 .538 2.0 10-3 Houston 7 7 .500 2.5 6-8 Pittsburgh 6 6 .500 2.5 5-7 Cincinnati 5 8 .385 4.0 6-7 Milwaukee 2 11 .154 7.0 3-10 Western Division Team W L PCT GB Pyt.Rec Los Angeles 10 4 .714 - 8-6 Arizona 8 5 .615 1.5 9-4 Colorado 8 6 .571 2.0 6-8 San Francisco 7 7 .500 3.0 7-7 San Diego 4 9 .308 5.5 7-6 |
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#18 |
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Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Norwood, MA
Posts: 5,450
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Meanwhile, around the league, it appears that Boston and New York aren't the only clubs with secret projects......
Last edited by metsgeek; 10-22-2005 at 03:20 PM. |
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#19 |
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Global Moderator
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Queens, NY
Posts: 9,848
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Excellent ideas here. Very entertaining.
__________________
My music "When the trees blow back and forth, that's what makes the wind." - Steven Wright Fjord emena pancreas thorax fornicate marmalade morpheme proteolysis smaxa cabana offal srue vitriol grope hallelujah lentils |
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#20 |
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Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Norwood, MA
Posts: 5,450
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![]() "The Brat" heats up, but the Yankees maintain lead April 20, 2003 You have to think that Yankees owner George Steinbrenner is sweating bullets, even if they remain two games up on their hated rival from Boston. Newly nicknamed as "The Brat" for his youth and his standoffish demeanor with the press, Billy Eiskopf is on fire. In the past week, he batted a godlike .667 with his first 3 homers and 10 RBI, earning him the AL Player of the Week Award. After only 17 games in the majors, opponents are treating him with the respect due a longtime vet, intentionally walking him 10 times this season. the only other player who has been given free passes more often is, of course, Barry Bonds. The main weakness of the Red Sox has been the bottom half of their staff. Burkett and Lowe have not been up to snuff and their 3 losses are the difference. If they pick it up, the Yankees had better watch out. |
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