All-Chump Team: Seattle Mariners Edition

Johnny Slick · 02-08-2005, 08:01 PM

Presented with only a wee bit of comment:

C - Scott Bradley - I used to love this guy when I was a kid. Then I realized that not striking out isn't really that great of a skill, especially when it means you never walk either.

1B - Pete O'Brien - Just plain awful when he was here. I suppose I could stick Dave Revering here, but he lacks the Free Agent Bust modifier.

2B - Jack Perconte - I remember when this guy was a can't miss prospect for the Dodgers. Well, he missed. He missed so bad that he landed in Seattle.

3B - Jeff Cirillo - I had to get SOMEBODY who wasn't from the 1980s in here...

SS and team captain - Mario Mendoza - Of course.

LF - Pee Wee Briley - The answer to the trivia question, "who played the most games alongside Ken Griffey Jr. in left field?" Yeah, he was awful.

CF - Mike Kingery - More of a RF than a CF, but I felt I had to include him because he was one of the guys the M's got in return for Danny Tartabull. Okay, so Tartabull didn't turn out to be that good of a player, but it was a really, really hated trade at the time.

Actually, forget that...

CF - Stormin' Gorman Thomas - He actually hit 32 homeruns for the M's one year, but I have to have him because another year he hit .155 for them. And they didn't even release him for it.

RF - Glenn Wilson - Lord, he was awful.

DH - Ken "Digger" Phelps - What the hell did you trade Jay Buhner for!? He hit 35 home runs, had over 100 RBIs and had a rocket for an arm. You don't what the hell you're doing!!!

canadiancreed · 02-08-2005, 08:09 PM

what about 1B Steve Balbonia?

Johnny Slick · 02-08-2005, 08:23 PM

Bye Bye Balboni's a great choice, but man... can you replace Pete O'Brien with him? Granted, Balboni does have the added bonus of winning his arbitration case with the M's and then being released because there was no way the team was going to pay for that sack of crap.

Dagrims · 02-08-2005, 09:15 PM

Original idea - where'd ya get it?

canadiancreed · 02-08-2005, 09:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Johnny Slick

Bye Bye Balboni's a great choice, but man... can you replace Pete O'Brien with him? Granted, Balboni does have the added bonus of winning his arbitration case with the M's and then being released because there was no way the team was going to pay for that sack of crap.

WEll that and Gaylord Perry are the only M's that I remember pre Griffey.

Maybe Mark Langston, at least he got the Big Unit from Montreal (damn Dave Drowsokski)

LeiterFanatic · 02-08-2005, 09:29 PM

Steve Trout.... Gah!

Tim Davis..big stud who never went anywhere.

SoxWin · 02-08-2005, 09:33 PM

Heathcliffe Slocumb has to be in there somewhere. Rey Quinones too.

Johnny Slick · 02-08-2005, 09:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dagrims

Original idea - where'd ya get it?

I thought it up all by myself without looking at any other threads at all. Especially not the one about the A's. Or the one in OT about chump players in general where someone said it would be cool to do team-specific lineups. My idea all on my own. The genius machine never stops working.

Okay, Langston's a horrible choice because he was actually a pretty decent pitcher in Seattle. How about Glen "1 Win, 16 Losses" Abbott? Mike "I Can't Pitch Any" Moore (9-19 in 1987, and that only because he went 8-8 after the All-Star break)? Mike "Why In Jesus' Name Did The Mariners Put Me In The Rotation" Morgan?

canadiancreed · 02-08-2005, 09:40 PM

ya they're good examples, sorry bad flashback. damn langston

wasnt there a 20 game loser for the M's in 86 or 87 that used to play with Boston? the name escapes me

Johnny Slick · 02-08-2005, 09:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by canadiancreed

ya they're good examples, sorry bad flashback. damn langston

wasnt there a 20 game loser for the M's in 86 or 87 that used to play with Boston? the name escapes me

I'm making it a point not to baseballreference this... to my knowledge, no Mariner has ever lost 20 games. I think you're thinking of Matt Young, who went (I think) 9-18 for the M's in 1986. The worst fielding pitcher I have ever seen too for that matter, and I saw a great deal of Randy Johnson.

canadiancreed · 02-08-2005, 09:58 PM

yikes that IS bad

probably is Young, it soudns right anyways

asamford · 02-09-2005, 12:09 AM

how about SP Erik Hanson? was he too good? he flamed out pretty quick....

Lenny Randle should be on this team somewhere.

Jason Moyer · 02-09-2005, 03:33 AM

I'll see your Scott Bradley and raise you Phil.

Teddyballgame · 02-09-2005, 07:09 AM

Brian Holman has to make the pitching staff here. And your outfield is incomplete without Mickey Brantley. Those two gotta make the team!

billethius · 02-09-2005, 02:28 PM

Bob Wolcott. Dave Flemming. Eric Anthony. Russ Davis. I mean, seriously. Up until the last decade or so, almost every player on an M's team could qualify for this list.

SoxWin · 02-09-2005, 03:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jason Moyer

I'll see your Scott Bradley and raise you Phil.

Huh? Phil Bradley was actually good at one point.

Johnny Slick · 02-09-2005, 07:15 PM

Okay, so as of right now the all-Chump Mariners edition looks like this:

C - Scott Bradley
1B - Bye Bye Balboni (ahead of Pete O'Brien, what the heck)
2B - Jack Perconte
3B - Jeff Cirillo
SS - Rey Quinones
LF - Pee Wee Briley
CF - Mickey Brantley
RF - Glenn Wilson
DH - The Digger

C - Steve Yeager (like Gorman Thomas, a guy who was good elsewhere but positively stunk in Seattle)
IF - Russ Davis
IF - Domingo Ramos
IF - Tony Bernazard (acquired for Julio Cruz; granted, Cruz turned out to suck in Chicago, but this was still a bad trade)
OF - Stormin Gorman Thomas
OF - Mike Kingery
OF - Al Martin

SP - Glen Abbot
SP - Matt Young
SP - Mike Morgan
SP - Jim Beattie
SP - Steve Trout (with all these guys, how can Brian Holman possibly make the list? He was pretty okay before he got hurt)
RP - Salome Barojas
RP - Mike Schooler (when he led off the 1992 season with a spectacular blown save, us Mariners fans knew that there was no way the team would build on its first winning season ever in 1991)
RP - Jerry Reed
RP - Diego Segui (crap with the Pilots, even worse with the expansion M's)
CL - Jose Mesa (could not STAND this guy when he was on the team)

02-08-2005, 08:01 PM	#1
Johnny Slick Banned Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Seattle Posts: 1,012	All-Chump Team: Seattle Mariners Edition Presented with only a wee bit of comment: C - Scott Bradley - I used to love this guy when I was a kid. Then I realized that not striking out isn't really that great of a skill, especially when it means you never walk either. 1B - Pete O'Brien - Just plain awful when he was here. I suppose I could stick Dave Revering here, but he lacks the Free Agent Bust modifier. 2B - Jack Perconte - I remember when this guy was a can't miss prospect for the Dodgers. Well, he missed. He missed so bad that he landed in Seattle. 3B - Jeff Cirillo - I had to get SOMEBODY who wasn't from the 1980s in here... SS and team captain - Mario Mendoza - Of course. LF - Pee Wee Briley - The answer to the trivia question, "who played the most games alongside Ken Griffey Jr. in left field?" Yeah, he was awful. CF - Mike Kingery - More of a RF than a CF, but I felt I had to include him because he was one of the guys the M's got in return for Danny Tartabull. Okay, so Tartabull didn't turn out to be that good of a player, but it was a really, really hated trade at the time. Actually, forget that... CF - Stormin' Gorman Thomas - He actually hit 32 homeruns for the M's one year, but I have to have him because another year he hit .155 for them. And they didn't even release him for it. RF - Glenn Wilson - Lord, he was awful. DH - Ken "Digger" Phelps - What the hell did you trade Jay Buhner for!? He hit 35 home runs, had over 100 RBIs and had a rocket for an arm. You don't what the hell you're doing!!!

02-08-2005, 08:09 PM	#2
canadiancreed Hall Of Famer Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 11,660	what about 1B Steve Balbonia? __________________ PT21 PT22

02-08-2005, 09:15 PM	#4
Dagrims Hall Of Famer Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Orlando, FL Posts: 3,827	Original idea - where'd ya get it? __________________ "Read books, get brain."

02-08-2005, 09:33 PM	#7
SoxWin Hall Of Famer Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Blissful ignorance Posts: 3,315	Heathcliffe Slocumb has to be in there somewhere. Rey Quinones too. __________________ It's called partying. When you do a lot of it, you're bound to be places where the police show up. I smoke a lot of pot and drink a lot of beer. I also graduated Suma Cum Laude. ****ing sue me. - Luis Rivera

02-08-2005, 09:40 PM	#9
canadiancreed Hall Of Famer Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 11,660	ya they're good examples, sorry bad flashback. damn langston wasnt there a 20 game loser for the M's in 86 or 87 that used to play with Boston? the name escapes me __________________ PT21 PT22

02-08-2005, 08:23 PM	#3
Johnny Slick Banned Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Seattle Posts: 1,012	Bye Bye Balboni's a great choice, but man... can you replace Pete O'Brien with him? Granted, Balboni does have the added bonus of winning his arbitration case with the M's and then being released because there was no way the team was going to pay for that sack of crap.

02-08-2005, 09:29 PM	#6
LeiterFanatic All Star Starter Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Miami, FL Posts: 1,358	Steve Trout.... Gah! Tim Davis..big stud who never went anywhere.

02-08-2005, 09:58 PM	#11
canadiancreed Hall Of Famer Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 11,660	yikes that IS bad probably is Young, it soudns right anyways __________________ PT21 PT22

02-09-2005, 12:09 AM	#12
asamford Banned Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Snellville, Georgia Posts: 1,769	how about SP Erik Hanson? was he too good? he flamed out pretty quick.... Lenny Randle should be on this team somewhere.

02-09-2005, 03:33 AM	#13
Jason Moyer Hall Of Famer Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Pittsburgh Posts: 5,106	I'll see your Scott Bradley and raise you Phil. __________________ "I pretty much popped everything cold turkey. We were doing steroids they wouldn't give to horses." -- Tom House "I was very fortunate to have a pitching coach by the name of Tom House...Tom, I really miss those days that we spent in the weight room and out on the field working together." -- Nolan Ryan's HoF Induction Speech

02-09-2005, 07:09 AM	#14
Teddyballgame Major Leagues Join Date: May 2002 Location: Boston Posts: 332	Brian Holman has to make the pitching staff here. And your outfield is incomplete without Mickey Brantley. Those two gotta make the team! __________________ The roads in America are paved with cheese

02-09-2005, 02:28 PM	#15
billethius All Star Reserve Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 822	Bob Wolcott. Dave Flemming. Eric Anthony. Russ Davis. I mean, seriously. Up until the last decade or so, almost every player on an M's team could qualify for this list.

02-09-2005, 07:15 PM	#17
Johnny Slick Banned Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Seattle Posts: 1,012	Okay, so as of right now the all-Chump Mariners edition looks like this: C - Scott Bradley 1B - Bye Bye Balboni (ahead of Pete O'Brien, what the heck) 2B - Jack Perconte 3B - Jeff Cirillo SS - Rey Quinones LF - Pee Wee Briley CF - Mickey Brantley RF - Glenn Wilson DH - The Digger C - Steve Yeager (like Gorman Thomas, a guy who was good elsewhere but positively stunk in Seattle) IF - Russ Davis IF - Domingo Ramos IF - Tony Bernazard (acquired for Julio Cruz; granted, Cruz turned out to suck in Chicago, but this was still a bad trade) OF - Stormin Gorman Thomas OF - Mike Kingery OF - Al Martin SP - Glen Abbot SP - Matt Young SP - Mike Morgan SP - Jim Beattie SP - Steve Trout (with all these guys, how can Brian Holman possibly make the list? He was pretty okay before he got hurt) RP - Salome Barojas RP - Mike Schooler (when he led off the 1992 season with a spectacular blown save, us Mariners fans knew that there was no way the team would build on its first winning season ever in 1991) RP - Jerry Reed RP - Diego Segui (crap with the Pilots, even worse with the expansion M's) CL - Jose Mesa (could not STAND this guy when he was on the team)