yankee fans please read asap

jaxmagicman · 10-28-2003, 02:13 PM

New York Yankees TO Florida Marlins CONVERSION FORM

Thank you for your interest in becoming a member of the Florida Marlins Fan Club. Due to an unprecedented volume of requests, we are currently processing only fan conversion registrations for New York Yankee fans. Conversion requests from other teams will be accepted once all Yankees requests are processed. We expect this to take a number of weeks based on the current backlog of requests.

Please take a few moments to fill out the conversion form below to help us get to know you better and prescribe any required counseling to recover from your previous fan experience.

Name: __________________________________________________ ________________
Last (Please Print) First MI

Address: __________________________________________________ _______________
# Street

__________________________________________________ _______________
City State Zip

1. Please indicate how you felt watching the Florida Marlins win the World Series over the New York Yankees:

[ ] I feel agitated that a team with 1/3 the Yankees payroll could come into our house and celebarter on our field.
[ ] It does not matter, we are still the better team because we spent the most money.

2. Please indicate your favorite moments in Yankee history: (Check all that apply)

[ ] Babe Ruth getting thrown out trying steal second base to end the 1926 World Series
[ ] Johnny Podres shutting out the Yankees to finish off the 1955 World Series
[ ] Finishing 20 Games behind the Red Sox in 1967
[ ] George Taking over the Team
[ ] Getting swept by the Dodgers in the '63 Series
[ ] Getting swept by the Reds in the '76 Series
[ ] Getting Beat at home in the '81 Series
[ ] 0 AL Championships from 1982-1996
[ ] George returns from Lifetime Ban
[ ] Don Mattingly, Dave Winfield and Ricky Henderson on the same team (during their prime) and 0 World Series Championships
[ ] David Wells pitches Pefect Game while Completly DRUNK OFF HIS ASS
[ ] Future Hall of Famer Roger Clemens throwing Bat at Mike Piazza
[ ] D-Backs beat Mariano Rivera in Game 7 of the 2001 World Series
[ ] Roger Clemens sits helplessly as Josh Beckett shuts them out to win the 2003 World Series in New York.

3. Reasons you believe the Yankees did not win the World Series despite outspending everyone: (Check all that apply)

[ ] Bad Karma
[ ] Lack of Pitching
[ ] Bad Fans
[ ] Lack of Hitting
[ ] The curse of the Expansion Team
[ ] Lack of Defense
[ ] The Marlins were Better
[ ] Bad calls by Umpires
[ ] The curse of George

4. Have you experienced any of the following after another inevitable Yankee loss: (Check all that apply)

[ ] Headache [ ] Uncontrolled Anger
[ ] Heartache [ ] Holes punched in doors or walls
[ ] Nausea [ ] Smashed TV screens
[ ] Depression [ ] Avoided Yankee fans for days or weeks

5. Is October your least favorite time of year? [ ] Yes [ ] No

6. Are you tired of saying “Because we are the Yankees”? [ ] Yes [ ] No

7. Are you ready to admit that:

a. Ted Williams could mop the Floor with Joe Dimaggio? [ ] Yes [ ] No
b. Thurman Munson was better than nobody? [ ] Yes [ ] No
c. Derek Jeter is overrated? [ ] Yes [ ] No
d. Don Zimmer is your best coach? [ ] Yes [ ] No
e. The Yankees will spend 10 times the amount of money to purchace their next championship? [ ] Yes [ ] No
f. The “Babe Ruth Statue” is ugly and stupid? [ ] Yes [ } No

Once you have completed this form, please forward to the nearest post office. Then burn all your remaining Yankees clothing, memorabilia, and associated reminders. After reviewing your request, the Marlins Fan Club will contact you with notification of acceptance or rejection.

If accepted, you will receive:

· A recommended recuperation program which includes a recording of Frank Sinatra singing “New York, New York” over and over again while the Marlins Celebrate
· An opportunity to obtain tickets to the 2003 World Series at Yankee Stadium in which the Marlins kick the Crap out of the Yankees
· Posters of Lowell and Fox in Marlin uniforms wearing their championship rings
· A dart board sporting a picture of Jorge Posado pointing at his head
· A copy of our popular handbook, “Harassing Yankee Fans for Fun and Profit”
· A coupon for a past poster of Ruth in a sober state (probably the only picture in existance)
· A one-year subscription to a weekly support group for ex-Yankee fans in your area

If rejected, you will receive:

· Our pity and condolences, plus a 26 second video capturing the past World Series of Yankee highlights in head-to-head competition against the Marlins narrated by Al Lieter.

I hereby renounce the New York Yankees for all eternity on this the ______ day of ________________, 200__

____________________________________
(Signed)

(Office Use Only)

CommishJoe · 10-28-2003, 02:38 PM

HAHA! Don't hold your breath

But, please take all the bandwagon fans with you on your way out the door

jaxmagicman · 10-28-2003, 02:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by CommishJoe
HAHA! Don't hold your breath

But, please take all the bandwagon fans with you on your way out the door

You can stay Joe, you are the only sane Yankee fan I have ever heard of.

fat dude · 10-28-2003, 03:29 PM

Pretty clever, jaxmagicman. I like.

akw4572 · 10-28-2003, 04:29 PM

That's pretty funny. I heard today on the radio the yankees are thinking Bowden for next GM on the radio here in Cincinnati, anyone in NY hear that?

CommishJoe · 10-28-2003, 04:31 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by jaxmagicman
You can stay Joe, you are the only sane Yankee fan I have ever heard of.

hehe thanks

Quote:

Originally posted by fat dude
Pretty clever, jaxmagicman. I like

Agreed, very clever.

LivnLegend · 10-28-2003, 04:42 PM

Nice work but it sort of loses some of the humor when you think about 26 World Championships

jaxmagicman · 10-28-2003, 04:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by LivnLegend
Nice work but it sort of loses some of the humor when you think about 26 World Championships

Damn I thought I would get your approval once I added the Sweep at the hands of the dodgers in it.

matskralc · 10-28-2003, 05:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by LivnLegend
Nice work but it sort of loses some of the humor when you think about 26 World Championships

Actually, that's where I kinda thought the humor was at.

LivnLegend · 10-28-2003, 05:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by jaxmagicman
Damn I thought I would get your approval once I added the Sweep at the hands of the dodgers in it.

Thanks for excluding the 7 times where the Yanks beat the Dodgers in the World Series

jaxmagicman · 10-28-2003, 05:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by LivnLegend
Thanks for excluding the 7 times where the Yanks beat the Dodgers in the World Series

No problem. It was all luck anyway.

jaxmagicman · 10-28-2003, 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by matskralc
Actually, that's where I kinda thought the humor was at.

LL doesn't get Dry Humor. Oh and college boy stop ending your sentences in prepositions.

LivnLegend · 10-28-2003, 05:05 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by jaxmagicman
LL doesn't get Dry Humor.

I invented dry humor.

CommishJoe · 10-28-2003, 05:05 PM

FYI

7. Are you ready to admit that:

a. Ted Williams could mop the Floor with Joe Dimaggio? [ x] Yes [ ] No
b. Thurman Munson was better than nobody? [ ] Yes [ x] No
c. Derek Jeter is overrated? [x ] Yes [ ] No
d. Don Zimmer is your best coach? [ ] Yes [ x] No
e. The Yankees will spend 10 times the amount of money to purchace their next championship? [ ] Yes [ x] No
f. The “Babe Ruth Statue” is ugly and stupid? [ ] Yes [ x} No

Just thought you'd like to know

jaxmagicman · 10-28-2003, 05:06 PM

[ ] Babe Ruth getting thrown out trying steal second base to end the 1926 World Series

That is my favorite part.

woody5254 · 10-28-2003, 06:08 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by LivnLegend
Nice work but it sort of loses some of the humor when you think about 26 World Championships

Well if you consider that the Marlins have won 2 in their first 10 years, they aren't too far off the pace of the Yankees

jaxmagicman · 10-28-2003, 09:30 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by woody5254
Well if you consider that the Marlins have won 2 in their first 10 years, they aren't too far off the pace of the Yankees

I like your thinking.

Skipaway · 10-29-2003, 04:05 AM

Florida is hurting baseball by hogging all the championships.

jaxmagicman · 10-29-2003, 07:49 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Skipaway
Florida is hurting baseball by hogging all the championships.

Florida is hurting baseball by allowing Juan Pierre to rap.

10-28-2003, 02:13 PM	#1
jaxmagicman Hall Of Famer Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Retired defloration-maker living in Myrtle Beach, SC Posts: 7,801	yankee fans please read asap New York Yankees TO Florida Marlins CONVERSION FORM Thank you for your interest in becoming a member of the Florida Marlins Fan Club. Due to an unprecedented volume of requests, we are currently processing only fan conversion registrations for New York Yankee fans. Conversion requests from other teams will be accepted once all Yankees requests are processed. We expect this to take a number of weeks based on the current backlog of requests. Please take a few moments to fill out the conversion form below to help us get to know you better and prescribe any required counseling to recover from your previous fan experience. Name: __________________________________________________ ________________ Last (Please Print) First MI Address: __________________________________________________ _______________ # Street __________________________________________________ _______________ City State Zip 1. Please indicate how you felt watching the Florida Marlins win the World Series over the New York Yankees: [ ] I feel agitated that a team with 1/3 the Yankees payroll could come into our house and celebarter on our field. [ ] It does not matter, we are still the better team because we spent the most money. 2. Please indicate your favorite moments in Yankee history: (Check all that apply) [ ] Babe Ruth getting thrown out trying steal second base to end the 1926 World Series [ ] Johnny Podres shutting out the Yankees to finish off the 1955 World Series [ ] Finishing 20 Games behind the Red Sox in 1967 [ ] George Taking over the Team [ ] Getting swept by the Dodgers in the '63 Series [ ] Getting swept by the Reds in the '76 Series [ ] Getting Beat at home in the '81 Series [ ] 0 AL Championships from 1982-1996 [ ] George returns from Lifetime Ban [ ] Don Mattingly, Dave Winfield and Ricky Henderson on the same team (during their prime) and 0 World Series Championships [ ] David Wells pitches Pefect Game while Completly DRUNK OFF HIS ASS [ ] Future Hall of Famer Roger Clemens throwing Bat at Mike Piazza [ ] D-Backs beat Mariano Rivera in Game 7 of the 2001 World Series [ ] Roger Clemens sits helplessly as Josh Beckett shuts them out to win the 2003 World Series in New York. 3. Reasons you believe the Yankees did not win the World Series despite outspending everyone: (Check all that apply) [ ] Bad Karma [ ] Lack of Pitching [ ] Bad Fans [ ] Lack of Hitting [ ] The curse of the Expansion Team [ ] Lack of Defense [ ] The Marlins were Better [ ] Bad calls by Umpires [ ] The curse of George 4. Have you experienced any of the following after another inevitable Yankee loss: (Check all that apply) [ ] Headache [ ] Uncontrolled Anger [ ] Heartache [ ] Holes punched in doors or walls [ ] Nausea [ ] Smashed TV screens [ ] Depression [ ] Avoided Yankee fans for days or weeks 5. Is October your least favorite time of year? [ ] Yes [ ] No 6. Are you tired of saying “Because we are the Yankees”? [ ] Yes [ ] No 7. Are you ready to admit that: a. Ted Williams could mop the Floor with Joe Dimaggio? [ ] Yes [ ] No b. Thurman Munson was better than nobody? [ ] Yes [ ] No c. Derek Jeter is overrated? [ ] Yes [ ] No d. Don Zimmer is your best coach? [ ] Yes [ ] No e. The Yankees will spend 10 times the amount of money to purchace their next championship? [ ] Yes [ ] No f. The “Babe Ruth Statue” is ugly and stupid? [ ] Yes [ } No Once you have completed this form, please forward to the nearest post office. Then burn all your remaining Yankees clothing, memorabilia, and associated reminders. After reviewing your request, the Marlins Fan Club will contact you with notification of acceptance or rejection. If accepted, you will receive: · A recommended recuperation program which includes a recording of Frank Sinatra singing “New York, New York” over and over again while the Marlins Celebrate · An opportunity to obtain tickets to the 2003 World Series at Yankee Stadium in which the Marlins kick the Crap out of the Yankees · Posters of Lowell and Fox in Marlin uniforms wearing their championship rings · A dart board sporting a picture of Jorge Posado pointing at his head · A copy of our popular handbook, “Harassing Yankee Fans for Fun and Profit” · A coupon for a past poster of Ruth in a sober state (probably the only picture in existance) · A one-year subscription to a weekly support group for ex-Yankee fans in your area If rejected, you will receive: · Our pity and condolences, plus a 26 second video capturing the past World Series of Yankee highlights in head-to-head competition against the Marlins narrated by Al Lieter. I hereby renounce the New York Yankees for all eternity on this the ______ day of ________________, 200__ ____________________________________ (Signed) (Office Use Only) __________________ See ID Major League Baseball trademarks and copyrights are used with permission of MLB Advanced Media, L.P. Minor League Baseball trademarks and copyrights are used with the permission of Minor League Baseball. All rights reserved. Last edited by jaxmagicman; 10-28-2003 at 02:15 PM.

10-28-2003, 02:38 PM	#2
CommishJoe Global Moderator Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Minneapolis, MN Posts: 5,238	HAHA! Don't hold your breath But, please take all the bandwagon fans with you on your way out the door __________________ Joe Success isn’t owned. It’s leased. And rent is due every day.

10-28-2003, 04:42 PM	#7
LivnLegend Hall Of Famer Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: 100% pure adrenaline! Posts: 5,624	Nice work but it sort of loses some of the humor when you think about 26 World Championships __________________ Excess ain't rebellion. You're drinking what they're selling.

10-28-2003, 05:05 PM	#14
CommishJoe Global Moderator Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Minneapolis, MN Posts: 5,238	FYI 7. Are you ready to admit that: a. Ted Williams could mop the Floor with Joe Dimaggio? [ x] Yes [ ] No b. Thurman Munson was better than nobody? [ ] Yes [ x] No c. Derek Jeter is overrated? [x ] Yes [ ] No d. Don Zimmer is your best coach? [ ] Yes [ x] No e. The Yankees will spend 10 times the amount of money to purchace their next championship? [ ] Yes [ x] No f. The “Babe Ruth Statue” is ugly and stupid? [ ] Yes [ x} No Just thought you'd like to know __________________ Joe Success isn’t owned. It’s leased. And rent is due every day.

10-28-2003, 05:06 PM	#15
jaxmagicman Hall Of Famer Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Retired defloration-maker living in Myrtle Beach, SC Posts: 7,801	[ ] Babe Ruth getting thrown out trying steal second base to end the 1926 World Series That is my favorite part. __________________ See ID Major League Baseball trademarks and copyrights are used with permission of MLB Advanced Media, L.P. Minor League Baseball trademarks and copyrights are used with the permission of Minor League Baseball. All rights reserved.

10-28-2003, 03:29 PM	#4
fat dude Major Leagues Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 392	Pretty clever, jaxmagicman. I like.

10-28-2003, 04:29 PM	#5
akw4572 Hall Of Famer Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Kentucky Posts: 2,601	That's pretty funny. I heard today on the radio the yankees are thinking Bowden for next GM on the radio here in Cincinnati, anyone in NY hear that?

10-29-2003, 04:05 AM	#18
Skipaway Hall Of Famer Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Where you live Posts: 11,017	Florida is hurting baseball by hogging all the championships. __________________ Jonathan Haidt: Moral reasoning is really just a servant masquerading as a high priest.